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Thread: Advice on what to do

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Advice on what to do Posted: 3/20/2007 4:22:47 PM
Doesn't sound to me like she's a keeper. Why not go out and look for someone new before this one breaks your heart. I'm curious on what makes you think you're starting a relationship with her and not just a friendship? Did she tell you that she was in love with you and that you are the one for her?

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 126 (view)

What's up with young guys coming on to older women? Posted: 3/20/2007 4:09:46 PM
I find it flattering when a young man tells me I'm hot and he likes me. Is it that they're younger or that they are upfront about sex. Remember all men want sex some just don't come out and say it. Besides that some of the young guys want more than just sex too. Yes I agree with the one who wrote what's not to like - young, energetic, better looking, and great conversationalist from my experience. If you find it offensive you can change who can contact you. Don't spoil it for the rest of us who happen to enjoy younger men. They are people too with wants and needs and I for one appreciate them.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Do cold feet ever go away? Posted: 3/20/2007 4:01:10 PM
Well from what I know he has'nt seen this potential woman yet. He's phoning daily and even just dropped in last night. You can hear his voice breaking up on the phone or in the dark when you can't see him. Everyone tells me he is in love with me but is scared to death of commitment. He even admitted this. Now he thinks venturing out might help him decide.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back??? Posted: 3/20/2007 3:57:37 PM
You've got a good man now. You want to break his heart for something that would probably not last too long! Then you'll have a broken heart again. Is it worth it?

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Do cold feet ever go away? Posted: 3/19/2007 11:53:19 PM
I believe there is a good chance he will stray again. What do you men think? Have you ever strayed only to come back to stay?

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

How do u know when to call it quits Posted: 3/19/2007 2:42:49 PM
Free online sex? Sounds like a good deal for him!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Do cold feet ever go away? Posted: 3/19/2007 2:37:58 PM
These weren't all short or bad relationships. I was actually married to one of these guys for over 20 years. They just feel they have to be honest, because I expect that. I wonder how many of them out there do this but don't kiss & tell.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

He's been lying about a wife Posted: 3/19/2007 12:37:29 PM
1) What part of he doesn't love you don't you understand?? 2) Honest & open relationship?? What part of him has been honest or open other than his zipper?? 3) This behavior normal?? Perhaps, but it is clearly destructive not only to you but his wife and probably kids too. 4) Now next time figure out if they're married or not first. 5) Because if they're married all you are is their booty call! Unless of course one of these men marry you and then someone else will be his booty call!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

what do guys want when they say they are looking for friends? Posted: 3/19/2007 12:27:31 PM
It seems to me they want to be friends with benefits. I'm not sure how the friends part fits into that phrase though because they almost always certainly forget that they are a friend when you need one. So in otherwords it's a nice way of saying booty call or intimate encounter. If they are interested in pursuing a girl they should put dating. Then let them take you out, enjoy yourself and try to establish a friendship, relationship or whatever. Also remember sitting on his couch all the time isn't dating either.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

Are we not all adults here? Posted: 3/19/2007 12:22:29 PM
Maybe he is just some kind of strange individual. They do exist you know and you don't have to talk to them.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested? Posted: 3/19/2007 12:19:37 PM
Hey that name Lonely Beauty looks like it could be yours. Why stay lonely just tell him to contact one of his email buddies next time he contacts you. In the meantime go out and ask that new hot guy out before somebody else does.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

should I back off Posted: 3/19/2007 12:14:54 PM
She will only bring you down too and from what I hear has already done it. Go out with a girl who's ready, willing and desrving and have a good time! Best of Luck!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

Am I playing the fool? Posted: 3/19/2007 12:10:43 PM
Sure it might be because he's too busy or depressed. Some of them are but regardless you deserve better. If all you want to be is his toy then wait for him. Chances are he's going to call less and less too because he probably has a few others just like you. If you want a guy to love you and be your best friend and treat you special get out there and ask a sweet guy out who is deserving. He is not ready yet or perhaps not even the type to have a girlfriend.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Do cold feet ever go away? Posted: 3/19/2007 11:54:44 AM
Well I do intend to move on and hopefully move away. He is 35 but yes even at that age should begin to start to "figure it out". He has even made plans to follow me and has spotted his ideal living accomodations. He has put together an excellent career plan there also. He even included me in has business plans as a part time partner. He tells me that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him and wants me in his life. I told him I'll be friends and nothing more until he figures it out and not to call me or visit unless it's important in the meantime. I also told him that I have a string of male friends that I dated in the past and will call a couple of them up and have a good time this weekend too! He was somewhat surprised that I would do that. By the way every relationship that ended for me was by the guy being honest and telling me about his potential new girl. I suppose I appear to be too soft and understanding when it comes to love even though I'm a hard nosed business person. Do you think that these type of men have the potential of becoming commited partners? Even though they didn't sneak around behind my back they are still cheaters. I guess we can call them guiltless cheaters because they do it openly.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Do cold feet ever go away? Posted: 3/19/2007 3:58:59 AM
My boyfriend of 5 months has just told me that he thinks our relationship has been moving too fast and that he isn't sure he is ready for a commitment. We've been staying with each other about 3 or 4 nights a week. Recently an old friend and potential girlfriend asked him over and he told me he accepted. I was hurt initially and told him to call me when he figures out what it is he wants. I told him only he could live his life and that it was up to him because I would be ok either way. He hasn't seen her yet and is calling me often, telling me he misses our conversation, laughter, times together, etc. He has told me he's crazy about me and that we love each other. He had included me in his future plans and now he told me he chose me over her for reasons such as we have similar goals, beliefs, etc..., but that he feels he has to know if she just might be the one. Now he has asked me if I thought we would make it together. I told him that I was simply enjoying our time together very much and that I didn't know what the future held in store for either of us. I also told him that I could choose to be happy in a relationship with him or being single. Do cold feet usually warm up if it's right? If so will a guy like this usually attempt looking elsewhere for a woman repeatedly? Do you think we still have a chance?

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Age Differences Posted: 3/19/2007 3:44:14 AM
Well for one thing a lot of guys your age don't necessarily want children of their own any more. They are looking to retire one day without the financial burden so they are choosing older women as partners. Besides that older women and younger men seem to have more fun. So simply take it as a compliment and tell them you want to be a dad. If you want only younger ladies to hit on you specify that you want children on your profile and younger woman only need apply.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Men and emotions... curious Posted: 3/16/2007 5:01:12 PM
Most men don't think with emotions the same way women do. Some however do know how to open up and talk. Many of the times though it is after a few too many and they can't even believe what they have told me.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Is it asking to Much ?? Posted: 3/16/2007 4:58:53 PM
Most of the guys I've met online delete their profile immediately. I'm not sure why they feel that this is necessary after just one meeting. They continue to call though so they're not simply hiding. LOL

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Did I Do The Right Thing??? Posted: 3/16/2007 3:56:59 PM
Nothing wrong with what you did. It's always easier when it's out of sight it's out of mind. He doesn't deserve any better treatment either from what you told us.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/16/2007 3:21:25 PM
Sorry I was with my gf when I posted this and used her profile by accident. It is me!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Why do guys call months after the relationship has ended? Posted: 3/16/2007 1:54:12 AM
I'm not sure why. I just know it is a common phenomonem. I suppose they are looking for what they've left behind. Too bad. Don't give them a second chance! Live by that motto!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

How can I really get past being cheated on? Posted: 3/16/2007 1:36:17 AM
Well the men i have known haven't planned on cheating on me, but somehow given enough time they always do. Sorry I can't trust either now. i say this with tears in my eyes again.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 9:54:46 PM
I confess I asked him if he was attracted to her first. He told me he just knows that they would never get along well enough to be a couple but often wonders just the same. I still think him going to her place for dinner is just a bit too tempting especially since I'm sure that's what's on her mind. See she knows that he's been seeing and now just out of the blue she calls him. I still think he is way out of line by going to see her. Especially since he works hard and doesn't have all that much time to go out even with me. I guess I just feel unappreciated and yes perhaps he is entertaining the idea of cheating. Even though he told me after he did he said I guess I shouldn't have told you or I didn't have to tell you. I've been told before it was nothing, only now the two of them are living together. So is it me - or is it him?

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 9:01:55 PM
I maintain he is extremely intelligent and nice. He has demonstrated his kindness to many not just me. But should I even try to make sense out of any of this? Notice how the guys seem to be avoiding this forum. Is this their way of saying they can see his point of view? Even though I love him and thought we were well suited, I really don't need another heart ache!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 8:47:59 PM
Yet he's the one who professed our love! He's the one who included me in his future living accomodations and business. Boy do I ever feel empty! So you'd toss him or talk to him? He even asked me last night if I wanted to get married? I am so confused and hurt!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 8:26:01 PM
How come you guys keep calling her an ex? She was a girl he was seeing at the same time when he first met me but never continued to cause he met me. Does that make her an ex. He called her a potentional in my eyes and from what he said he thought so too! Does this make it different then? And dinner at her place with no one else - come on guys be honest!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 8:18:58 PM
He told me he thought I would go to dinner with an old bf if he called. I told him I was asked and told them I wouldn't feel right about it because I was seeing someone. He told me after that he really felt like a jerk then. Well I've been cheated on before, but for some reason they always have to come out and tell me. Somehow I think they feel it's not cheating if they tell me first. But if a guy says he'll cancel then for me, does that make it any more right?

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 8:10:15 PM
Yes he called it a date. I have never been given any reason to not trust him in the past. He told me he too thought I was blowing this out of proportion. We have never said we couldn't go out with friends = but he confessed this was definately more than just friends.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

How can you tell if he's genuine or out for sex? Posted: 3/15/2007 7:55:59 PM
My rule is to always wait a few months after serious dating. I should always hear something sweet and see something even better. But then even though it doesn't start out as sex who knows how it will end? Good Luck!

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 7:47:00 PM
She wasn't exactly his ex gf just an old gf or friend from his past who he thought he would have liked to go out with. He admitted he is attracted to her and wondered if it was possible that they could hit it off. I'm definately not invited to her house as I don't even know her, but she seems to know that he is seeing me. I just think if he would consider doing this maybe he isn't worth the trouble in the long run, even though we seemed to get along. He's the one who trumpeted we love each other and spoke relationship more than I.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 7:06:21 PM
He also told me he has time to cancel and would. I told him that I would never try to make decisions for him and that I would not interfere. I'm not desperate - just in love.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 7:03:48 PM
From what he told me he is going alone. He told me he felt stupid about saying yes when he heard what I told guys that asked me out. By the way to anyone who cares I should mention that I never changed my profile on here but don't date anyone here either. I'm just here for the forums and keeping in online contact with friends.

Joined: 10/30/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

what would you do? Posted: 3/15/2007 6:54:41 PM
I've been in a close relationship with a very nice guy for 5 months. I dated him casually before that. He has included me in his future plans for living accomodations and even in business just recently. Now he tells me he's having dinner at an old gf's house in the near future. He asked me what I would do if an old bf called me. I told him two of them actually called just last month and I told them both I was seeing someone and that it would not be right. What would you think of this? I told him I thought we were a couple and that I was confused. We both shed some tears and we parted very late that same night. He told me he didn't know exactly how I felt or what I wanted. I told him I had feelings for him and he told me he thought we had something wonderful! Do you think what he is doing is appropriate. I don't think I am overreacting to this. I've been hurt before and he told me the last thing he wanted to do was ever hurt me. What would you do and do you think this man is worth salvaging our relationship with? He really fooled me cause I thought he loved me! My take is I'm not overreacting and I should tell him go on dating. I'll step out looking for my next broken heart, cause he won't be the one to do it again! We will stay friends but nothing more...... Any advice?

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