Gettogether April 11th PIV's Pub and Resturant Cockyesville MD 21030 chat & forums.

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Thread: Gettogether April 11th PIV's Pub and Resturant Cockyesville MD 21030

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Gettogether April 11th PIV's Pub and Resturant Cockyesville MD 21030 Posted: 4/11/2008 9:32:14 AM
My poor sombrero has a tear in the rim. I might have to wear the minature one..barbie doll sized. Then people would recognize me by the lump on my head. Looking forward to this, and thanks to Frank and Maria.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

He's Married Already Posted: 4/10/2008 8:14:24 PM
I am getting out of it RIGHT NOW. I do take full responsibility for my own actions. I am an adult and I can control myself. Good for you! Contrary to popular opinion, maturing and growing is a lifelong process. Sometimes, it's decades before we "get" the fact that blaming others isn't conducive for our own health. Realizing that you are truly in control of your own actions without blaming the "playa" is a major move forward. Best wishes to you.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

He's Married Already Posted: 4/10/2008 8:58:45 AM
In many ways I dont think he wants to cheat, I figure if he did want to he already would have dont you think? Oh, are you trying to convince yourself that you're "special"? That he's involved in this great emotional battle with himself, struggling with his overpowering feelings he has for you? Grow up. You're old enough to know better. This guy would stick it in a woodpile if he knew a rattler was in there as long as he got his rocks off with something other than his hand. You're nothing special to him, anymore than his supposed sick child or horrid wife at home are.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

He's Married Already Posted: 4/10/2008 4:20:38 AM
I cant count the times I have ended our friendship via online with him, but he has a way of pulling me back in. What? You're blaming him because YOU choose to keep talking to him. I'm not bashing. I just don't get it when people refuse to be accountable for their own actions. His actions are his, but yours are yours. It's quite simple. Block him. Stop talking to him. Period. BTW, since you feel that your "kissing and hugging" and meeting for lunch wasn't crossing the line, I assume you'd be glad for his wife to be aware of all that. Stop kidding yourself. You're hungry for affection from the opposite sex (as most people are) and you're getting "something" from him or you'd stop what you're doing.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Gettogether April 11th PIV's Pub and Resturant Cockyesville MD 21030 Posted: 4/9/2008 5:17:10 AM
Although it's likely that lots of people will flake and not show, you might want to let the Pub know that you're trying to get a large group together there Friday evening. If by some chance, 60 people showed up (my guess is 30), you might be putting them over their fire code allowances. I see they have private party rooms available. Even if you don't get one of those, letting the place know who you are would allow them to direct new arrivals to the POF party group. I also looked at their calendar and they're having a late night happy hour on Friday, from 9 to close (whoo hoo...but my luck it's well drinks), and live music (acoustic guitar) starting at 8. Join us for late night happy hour from 9-close along with LIVE Music from 8-12 featuring Steve Ports Trio!!

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

When he compliments..... other women Posted: 4/8/2008 2:31:02 PM
Does it bother him that you're on a dating site exposing your entire backside? At 20, I don't think either of you is ready to settle down. If it makes you uncomfortable, leave. That's all there is to it. I "do" have male friends who are married or connected who say things like that. The compliments are to other females they know. They also make random comments about strange women (but not to them). It doesn't seem to be an issue. We laugh about it. But we're well beyond 20.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Gettogether April 11th PIV's Pub and Resturant Cockyesville MD 21030 Posted: 4/7/2008 6:51:33 PM
Hey! I'm wearing the Sombrero. Like I said, even if there isn't any romantic connection, it's great to meet new single friends. I'm really looking forward to this! Los polluelos tienen mucho calor en sombreros.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

Gettogether April 11th PIV's Pub and Resturant Cockyesville MD 21030 Posted: 4/7/2008 2:17:20 PM
If you're worried about recognizing folks, I'll be happy to wear something...(maybe a sombrero?) so you'll recognize one person. And I'll find the POF people. I don't mind walking up to strangers and asking if they're from POF (maybe get some new meat...errr...members that way). Plus, I'm tall so putting a hat like that on my head would make sure you could spot me from down the street. Just let me know Frank. Have sombrero, will wear.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Make it easier to report scammers Posted: 4/7/2008 9:05:25 AM
Go to her profile and click on the Report link at the bottom of her profile. You'll be able to report her as a scammer.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

stuff shes done i havent Posted: 4/7/2008 8:13:12 AM
Why don't you mention your profile on here? Perhaps that's something "new" to her. I bet you'll experience a whole new position after that. Or better yet....drop her into doggie style and have her face the computer monitor....just as she starts really getting into it, move the mouse to bring the screen to life so she can see your profile on here. Haha...I bet you'll really experience something different then.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Misuse of reporting Violations Posted: 4/6/2008 2:50:10 PM
I'd say that some people quote the offensive part of the post because some people have a habit of editing the post within 15 minutes and removing the flame/bashing/trolling etc when they see that they have been reported. Exactly. I often quote the offending post because of an incident where I'd noticed a poster reporting someone for calling her stupid. Reading her post, she had called the poster a "dummy." I reported her and didn't quote it...just stated that she'd called the other guy "dummy" and purposely provoked him. (I see that happen all the time.) A mod responded to my report (that I checked the next day) that it wasn't against the rules to call a politician a dummy. Well..haha...sure enough, she'd edited her post and gotten rid of the part where she called the poster a dummy.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Men Who've Passed Their Expiration Date Posted: 4/6/2008 1:11:18 PM
I think the problem with these men is that they are targeting the wrong type of women, if in their 40's they still look for women in their 20's. These days, it seems there are plenty of women aged 40 or below who can have healthy babies, thanks to advances in medical technology. If I were 40+ in terms of age, financially secure, and looking for a woman to start a family with, I'd target single women in the 32-41 age group. Women younger than that would not be such good targets (but there are exceptions). Exactly. I have a 25 year old daughter who was on here for awhile. She was innundated from men in their 40s and 50s who wanted kids or were "undecided". I also see a very large number of men (and have met somequite a few) in my area on here in their 40s and early 50s who have really young children. More often than not, they have custody. So far, the stories are all the same. They married a young 20 something and she eventually took off with a boyfriend closer to her own age. Now he's 48 and has a 2 year old to raise. My best friend is 39. She married one of these guys who played a long time, and they now have a healthy baby boy. They're planning another for next year. Women are playing longer now too. They're going for the education, the career, and the fun and aren't ready to settle down until later. I see quite a few of them behaving like men have historically and going for the 20 something younger guys. Unfortunately, they seem to last as long as the 20 something gals with the 40 something guys. (Shrug)....No, there's not an expiration date. But it's highly unlikely that a 40/50 something guy/gal is going to be successful for the long-term with a quality 20 something year old. If they're willing to settle in the areas of looks, intelligence, # of kids, prison record, etc., they're more likely to have temporary success. But if they're looking for a real partner, they're better off sticking near their own age.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Misuse of reporting Violations Posted: 4/6/2008 11:48:42 AM
I read those reports all the time. Some of it is pretty funny. You see posters reporting one user for "trolling" and "flamebaiting" by calling Obama "Hussein" and then read through the masses of talking head BS and see the reporting poster is calling Hillary (Shrillary). lol And the religious ones are funny too. Atheists are always reporting Christians for saying things like "There is only one God" (exclusivity of truth) while the atheists are shrieking "There is no God." And somehow that doesn't qualify as exclusivity of truth. Oh well, the political reporting is only going to get worse over the summer. Things should calm down after November when one or the other of the warring factions doubles up on their therapist visits and prozac.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

So, they like your words so much they take them for their own Posted: 4/6/2008 6:47:10 AM
This has happened to me several times....God only knows why...sick effers. Anyway, I email them and tell them that if they do not remove it immediately, I will be obtaining their contact information from the POF owner and turning the information over to my attorney. So far, they've been simple enough to think that would work.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

what is the purpose of this feature? Posted: 4/6/2008 5:30:22 AM
Great, it's too difficult to add a copy of a well-built, scantilly clad man to the email options for a man to send us, but adding an option to share private emails with others is doable.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 247 (view)

Has common sense been replaced by paranoia in online dating? Posted: 4/4/2008 4:30:33 AM
I completely agree with Danster until his last paragraph. I do the same thing with men who want to spend hours emailing or chatting on the phone and never seem to move towards an in-person meet. Either they're lying about who they are, and/or they have no intention of ever meeting in person. Cut bait. They're not worth my time. I have to admit that I get quite a laugh out of all the paranoia here and the talk about possible rape, murder, etc. WTH are you women planning on meeting these guys? In a dark alley after midnight? In an abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere?

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

People who 'rate' EVERYONE identically Posted: 4/2/2008 8:29:52 AM
Posting this could possibly cause your rating to go down.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Question for the women!!?? Posted: 4/1/2008 2:18:31 PM
will a girl tell a guy he was the best she ever had if its not true?? Unfortunately, many will...especially if they're trying to "get" you. Another reason is that the pressure put on them by the guy (whether verbal or not) to comment on the guy's incredible prowess and the size of his humongoid willie is overbearing. It's easier for many to say "Yer the best ever!!!!" and then he'll relax.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

New To The Dating Scene Posted: 4/1/2008 2:15:19 PM
? You're 18 and getting out of a 2.5 year relationship? Since you were 15? :) Go to school...meet girls in class. Join a hiking club...meet them there. Join a book club...meet them there. The real point is to get busy living your life and doing things "you" enjoy. You'll meet like-minded people this way, male and female. Don't hesitate to try new things as well.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Married? Divorced? What do you think? Posted: 4/1/2008 2:08:08 PM
Married. If he is listed on a legal document....something so important as transfer of realty, it's true. I could understand if he were listed as divorced BUT both their names were on the title. I'm sure you know she'd have to sign a quit claim to not be included on the title. And that isn't always taken care of right away...foolish in my opinion. But if the document states married, he's married.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

How to survive if you wake up next to someone you don't know. Posted: 4/1/2008 8:45:23 AM
Put "Get out of there before he tells you his/her name" on your list of things to do. That'll take care of the problem. Then all you have to worry about as you're scrambling around looking for your clothes is whether or not he'll get pissy when you insist on leaving and say something like "You don't even remember my name..do you?????" In that case, try and make it out the door before he screams his name at you.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Are men really this simple? Posted: 4/1/2008 4:47:21 AM
I think it could be that simple for males and females. But saying that women determine whether it works or not by THEIR actions is absurd and indicates the other party's unwillingness to take any responsibility in the relationship. Problems arise when you don't do anything for us except pick up your dirty underwear that's been on the floor for a week (and why exactly, should that be something we should be praising you for or when we tell you that repeatedly that we're allergic to cinnamon and you continually buy us tiramisu....and still expect appreciation. So the expectation of appreciation is unwarranted, yet still expected. You see....one of our needs is to be listened to...to be heard. Expecting admiration can present other problems. Should we pretend to admire things we don't find admirable? Should we give you a big cheer if you're bragging about how you told the boss off...right before you got fired? Or your racist jokes you told at my company party? You have to do admirable things to be admired. We're all pretty simple if the basics are there from the beginning. The problems arise when communication stops. Problems happen when I'm not hearing you, and you're not hearing me, and/or when we're both not willing to act on what we hear.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Are women on the East coast more difficult to approach than other areas of the country? Posted: 3/31/2008 7:24:46 PM
Depends...being a non-native Marylander myself. :) When a 70 year old approaches me, I have zero interest and can't bring myself to pretend I do. I have daughters in their 20s who are approached by men in their 40s. They're disgusted with it. I think that generally, women in more rural areas are more likely to be appreciative of males approaching them regardless of age. They want a daddy for their babies. OK..so I'm kidding..sort of. Basically, I find people in this area to be FAR less friendly in general than people in more rural areas. Having grown up in KY, there is no comparison to friendly.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Over 40 and no children? Posted: 3/31/2008 7:13:07 PM
Creatures that fail to reproduce have the ultimate purpose of becoming food for something else. If you're not an asset then you are liability. Nope..again you are NOT well informed about the laws of nature. In a wolf pack, all members are not allowed to reproduce. And they are not considered "food" for something else. They contribute in their own way to the survival of the SPECIES..the PACK. All animals behave this way..even many humans. Just because someone chooses not to have children does NOT mean their existence is worthless as you have stated. Perhaps they've cheered someone up who would one day produce a child that created an excellent alternative fuel source. Perhaps they've been a foster parent to a child who was abandoned. YOU are the arrogant one Op...to decide that one's existence is tied to producing offspring or to being a Mother Theresa. If you want to bring up mammal biology, please stick to that.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Over 40 and no children? Posted: 3/31/2008 2:14:50 PM
I'm sorry but isn't every single solitary life form on this plnet here to pass on thier genes. From the smallest virus to the mighty blue whale their ultimate motivation is to reproduce. Ummm, no. Perhaps you should revisit your biology lessons. Pay particular attention to animals that do not reproduce, or that do not allows others of their species to reproduce. Like other animals, we often regulate ourselves. Unlike other animals, we are not willing to kill those that refuse to behave like we do. It seem that people are saying that because we are humans we deserve the right to defy nature at the very core. That just speaks of arrogance. No, it is NOT defying nature at its core. Perhaps we should reproduce more along the lines of a pack of wolves? Maybe a hive of ants? Maybe even a herd of horses? Again, study your biology/zoology. It is not natural for every member of a species to reproduce at will AND allow all their young to live. If we responded that way, you surely wouldn't be allowed to reproduce at all. Unfortunately, for you, that would mean your existence was useless.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Over 40 and no children? Posted: 3/31/2008 2:07:44 PM
What a narrow-minded way of thinking. In your opinion, there is no reason to exist if one is not capable of impregnating another, or becoming pregnant oneself. Of course, you "did" put the caveat in your post that it may be OK if they do something spectacular (spectacular in your glorious opinion of course) with their life. And betraying a bloodline???? Yes, "some" people are a drain on resources. (sigh)

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

She has 12 kids by 7 different fathers and also a grandmother before age 31 Posted: 3/31/2008 11:52:05 AM
Federal Medicaid participation has a lifetime limit on TANF of 5 years. lol...yes it does. And a hardship exemption is easy to get. There are many, many people who have passed their limit of five years and continue to receive benefits. lol...yes it does. And a hardship exemption is easy to get. There are many, many people who have passed their limit of five years and continue to receive benefits. lol...yes it does. And a hardship exemption is easy to get. There are many, many people who have passed their limit of five years and continue to receive benefits. v

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

singles events in MARYLAND Posted: 3/31/2008 10:10:36 AM
Hi Frank! You too! You need to click on the Forum Moderators link in this thread. Much of the stuff you'll read there is just rules. But eventually you'll get to the instructions to get your event posted in the links. You essentially need to email the moderator of the Maryland forums which is listed in the instructions as well.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

She has 12 kids by 7 different fathers and also a grandmother before age 31 Posted: 3/31/2008 10:06:34 AM
Strange how her religion (yeh right) prohibits contraception but allows fornication. And to the posters below who said there were states that required sterilization after the birth of a set number of children. That isn't true. Of course birthcontrol and abortions are still free in all states (assuming we're talking U.S. here). We also provide free medical care, immunizations, etc. for all these children. Someone also mentioned that there was a cap on the number of children you could have and still increase your food stamp (now a card) and welfare payments. That isn't true either. Some states might have additional paperwork, but the salary we're paying them is still going up. Supposedly, welfare reform (under Clinton) limited the number of years a single mother could remain on assistance (to include medical, dental, child care, food, housing, etc., etc.) and required work/fare and/or educational pursuit (also free), it's a failure. There were too many loopholes. It's also become much easier for a young mother to file for and receive SSDI due to the increase of diagnosed mental illnesses. There are hundreds of sites on the internet that advise you how you can obtain and get a legal disability so you can receive your SSDI in addition to continued, increasing support for your children. I don't see any end in site for this. Contrary to the opinions of many, American continues to be a "softie" regardless of our reluctance to support women who behave this way. Very, very few of us would truly say "stop giving that innocent child medical care, food, etc." BTW, trying to change the topic to making this about the guys who are banging these societal drains isn't going to cut it. He isn't the one who will be able to decide on abortion or receipt of welfare in it's many forms. It's the woman popping the kids out.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

singles events in MARYLAND Posted: 3/31/2008 9:51:33 AM
It's not a POF sponsored singles' event unless the organizers go through the site to publish and broadcast it. You'll know it's happening when you see it posted as a link above your inbox. Until then, it's just a few people who may or not meet that night.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

Is dating during separation cheating? Posted: 3/31/2008 9:48:02 AM
What's more disturbing is that you'ved involved your adult daughter in this drama between her mom and dad. She even wrote your profile for you? Does she hate her daddy for all the evil he's done? I don't condone cheating at all. I think those who cheat are some of the most immoral people I know. They're weak willed and unlikely to ever take real responsibility for an action of theirs. But you're on a dating site that your daughter obviously knows about since she wrote your profile for you, trying to garner some support for slamming her dad. You're separated. Stay out of his life and focus on ending the business transaction of marriage. Instead of dating, try spending some time alone learning who you are and who you'd like to be....how YOU can improve rather than what someone else is doing that's so wrong. It does YOU absolutely no good to focus on him at this point. Focus on YOU. Good luck. Divorce s*cks in the best of cases, and in a case like this there are lots of painful emotions to endure and learn from.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Annoying Advertisements Posted: 3/29/2008 12:57:14 PM
Hyundai Ad. A guy walks out of the ad to the left of the main profile pic and stands right in the center of the main profile pic. I was reporting a big willie shot and did not click on the talking man, but at least an inch from him. I still activated the control and a new window popped up to help me buy a Hyundai.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Courtship Posted: 3/29/2008 11:07:55 AM
Oink, Oink

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Courtship Posted: 3/28/2008 2:42:17 PM
Turn the IM feature off. And don't move to any other IM program with the guys here. If they are really interested in more than snapping their radish while they engage in a litte IM sex talk, they'll email you, then move to the phone, then move to a real life meet...ALL without talking about their humongous schlongs, their desire to spank your a** or have you spank theirs, or their ability to give any woman..anytime...hundreds of orgasms within an hour. Seriously, the minute the conversation turns to sex, cut off communication. They're not interested in anything else.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

All Requests meet - still blocked Posted: 3/28/2008 2:37:26 PM
^^^Really? In your Looking For section, you list dating. You've established a pattern of emailing those who have listed intimate encounters in the For section. Many women aren't interested in talking to a man who is on the internet and contacting people for sex. So they put the block up.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

How do I get my photo priveleges back? Posted: 3/28/2008 2:34:26 PM
Was your face in all the pics? Did you post any shots of your big, manly Harley standing proudly on its own? Maybe a copyrighted image from the web? Or perhaps a sunset, to tempt all the hand-in-hand beach walking ladies?

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 214 (view)

Has common sense been replaced by paranoia in online dating? Posted: 3/28/2008 9:13:11 AM
My god i know some people are naive but this is borderline insanity. Are people that desperate that they will believe anything?. Yep, I DO think many of these people are mentally ill. And they're desperate to be loved. It's sad and disturbing at the same time. But the internet is cheap or free, and any free chat site is going to attract a large percentage of folks with bigger than normal issues.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

serious question to all who can answer it Posted: 3/28/2008 6:34:22 AM
Oh...I see. If you're hanging out with them for two months and haven't even had a kissing session, you're already in the friends category. Any interest she might have had in you is gone. If you're attracted to a girl, touch her...her hand, her hair, the small of her back. If she pulls away, she's not interested. If she doesn't, move on to the kiss.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

serious question to all who can answer it Posted: 3/27/2008 10:40:18 AM
Sorry, I can't tell what you're asking. Are you saying that someone is telling you they like you as a friend via IM or email? Or are they trying to hook you up with their best friend? Or are they telling you their best friend doesn't want them to date you? Anyway, many people on here will never meet anyone in person. If you want to find one who will...offer your phone number or ask for hers after a few emails. Then ask to meet for a drink or coffee after a phone call or two. If they're not interested, move along to the next one. Why spend weeks or months chatting up some hottie online who will never meet you? Or worse, she meets you and looks nothing like her pic?

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Having a Right to be Mad.? Posted: 3/27/2008 6:12:00 AM
A "right" to a feeling? Feelings just ARE. Is your feeling of anger misplaced or over the top? I don't know. I can't tell from what you've posted here. But you did choose to read her private email, suspecting that what you read would hurt you and make you angry. Since your boy/girl relationship is long over, I'm going to assume you read those private emails because you still held/hold out some hope that she'd come back around and want YOU again. If that's the case, you're really barking up the wrong tree. Once a girl puts you in the "friends" category, you're there to stay. You "might" get an occasional banging, depending on the girl, but you're not going to become anything other than "friend." Do you want to remain friends...ONLY friends? Then let it go. If you aren't interested in ONLY friends, then walk away and stay away.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

singles events in MARYLAND Posted: 3/26/2008 7:50:33 PM
If you don't use the POF guidelines to post this, it's not going to show up for the locals. The only people who see it will be those who read this forum...and most locals don't.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 110 (view)

Half of all Rape Charges May Be False Posted: 3/26/2008 7:45:31 PM
Once accused you're forever branded in the court of public opinion. How does one go about getting their reputation back in a situation like that?. Exactly...that was a point I tried to make..along with saying that a woman who comes forward and admits she was raped has to deal with the SAME thing. Public opinion...gossip...wondering..DID he really do it? DID she somehow ask for it? Those are the damaging issues..whether male or female. And yeh..I know men are raped as well. But let's face it. It's far more common for a female to be raped..and far more common for a male to be falsely accused of it. Regardless....the real victim suffers a lifetime for the act or the accusation.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 108 (view)

Half of all Rape Charges May Be False Posted: 3/26/2008 7:41:59 PM
The majority of women have been raped ....... are you talking about globally, amongst your friends, you personally etc ? I don't think just knowing someone counts that it must be a majority. I never stated that the majority of women (worldwide or in the USA...my country) have been raped. What I did state was that most of us have been OR know someone who has been AND who has not reported it....a combo sort of conditon.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

is she thinking of me? Posted: 3/26/2008 3:07:15 PM
In my opinion, she isn't as into you as you are into her. Back off a little. Stop visiting this site...stop emailing...see if she's willing to reach out. Trust me...if she were really into you, your emails and phone calls would be welcome. If you ask her where you stand, she'll feel like she's backed into a corner. I run if people do that early on because I want to date "you" to see if we keep connecting on level after level. I don't want to be forced into defining what we are. Also, it's quite possible that she's dating others if she hasn't told you she isn't. Just back down and see if she makes any moves towards you.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Half of all Rape Charges May Be False Posted: 3/26/2008 2:46:14 PM
Actually, I think it's an interesting topic. "Maybe" it would be better served in Current Events, but at its root, it still deals with relationships between men and women. I'm not talking about the rape victims (woman who was raped or man who was accused of it), but the way "we" as society look at rape and treat it. I think it's such an emotional topic for most women that any mention of "false" reporting puts the hackles up on the backs of our necks and we immediately drop into the defend and attack stance. (shrug) I felt it too. The fact, and I DO mean fact, of the matter is that most of us have been raped, or know someone(s) who have been raped and they never reported it. In particular, it boils down to this: Behavioral self blame refers to victims feeling that they should have done something differently (therefore they feel it is their fault). We've been told verbally and otherwise for generations that dressing a certain way, talking a certain way, going to certain places, even walking along for God's sake....makes us somehow at fault for violence that happens to us. I have a childhood friend whose car broke down on the interstate after a college party. She was only supposed to be on the interstate for a few miles. She wasn't far. BUT...she'd been drinking and a few other things, and decided to just fall asleep in the car. She woke up to some nice guys who offered to look under her hood. They couldn't fix the car and offered to drive her back to University...claiming they were students as well. Long story short...all 3 raped her repeatedly at knifepoint and then dumped her on the side of the interstate. The cops found her and contacted her parents. She REFUSED to give any information. They'd stolen her driver's license. They told her they'd kill her and her family if she said anything. Typical example of the behavioral self blame..."I was out of it...I shouldn't have been like that and driving.....I shouldn't have had that halter top and shorts on....I shouldn't have trusted them..." She still blames herself for something that happened decades ago...and it was far more the shame at all those things than her fear of what they'd do to her that prevented her from speaking of it. Then there are the false reports. I personally know 2 men who were falsely accused..one by his wife...the other by his girlfriend. Both women later recanted....but it didn't "fix" the time they'd spent in jail, or their reputation in the community. People always wonder "did they REALLY do it?"...sort of like wondering if a woman who was raped somehow "asked for it"? Neither situation is nice. Both are horrible and likely impact the victim for the rest of their lives. My own person experience tells me that far more rapes are unreported than are reported. The experience is mind altering for those who are raped. So I guess I'm not surprised that a percentage of those reported are false. I don't have any "real life" aquaintences or friends who have been raped and reported it.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

singles events in MARYLAND Posted: 3/26/2008 9:13:20 AM
Hey Maria! You know I'm in. But let's stay on-road this time. If you look a few posts up, you'll see a mod's link. Click on that so this can be published "legally" by the site rules. It will also show up on local's Inbox page as a link so we might get more interest.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

more attractive to him now im having sex with others... Posted: 3/26/2008 4:53:54 AM
Obviously, it turns him on to imagine you out banging other guys. Who knows why? Does it even matter? It doesn't seem to bother either of you in a negative way. I would guess though, that he doesn't consider you to be long-term, marriable (if you're even interested), mother-of-my-kids type material. Something to consider.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

why are older women burn't out on older men? Posted: 3/26/2008 4:35:17 AM
After post 40....instead of harping on this being about women of a specific age, I suggest you think about it being about YOU. This isn't a random occurence. It's something that has happened to YOU more than once. Exactly what kind of person are you picking. I'm not sure I'm well aquainted with any woman who stops bathing and cuts her hair "so he can't run his fingers through it." This gets curiousier and curiousier.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

I'm an a**hole ;-( Posted: 3/25/2008 1:29:59 PM
Was there a question in there? Or did you just want to vent as your last statement says? BTW, your age in your profile is a bit different than the age you posted in here. If you're asking for advice, the very best thing you can do regarding the friend you effed is to stop it. You're clearly unsure about what love is. Love isn't what you had with your wife. Lust, desire...all those things that you kept feeling because you never quite got it returned the way you wanted from her. That's what it was. Spend some time thinking about why you fall for the women who are not truly into you, or not truly emotionally available. And in the meantime, don't look for love. You have that with your kids. Figure yourself out before you even THINK about moving forward with someone else. It sounds as if you are on the right track with handling the ex to be....considering the best interests of your child. Consider that also before you drag one woman after another through his life.

Arugula

Joined: 11/5/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Am I wrong? Posted: 3/25/2008 10:12:41 AM
Judging by your other thread, you must have told her about your giant schlong. She was terrified. Keep that thing under wraps Op!

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