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Thread: to reply or not to reply...I need some wisdom

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

to reply or not to reply...I need some wisdom Posted: 7/21/2007 11:57:03 AM
Please don't call him...read the other responses, they have said it all. It clearly sounds like closure..., but it sounds like it is definitely over. He just wanted you to know that you truly were special and that he will always love you in a special way...maybe it is not the same kind of love that you had hoped that it would be, but then he would probably still be with you now if it was. Cut your loses and bow out gracefully. Believe me, I went thru something similar, the main part being, he cut me off and dropped out....I hung on for a long time, grabbing at any bit of hope that he might return...and he would throw those bones out there-but he never did return. All I ended up doing was passing by some really potentially great relationships because I wanted to be available , just in case.... Always remember, "Don't waste time on someone who is not willing to waste time on you!"

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Ask out the coffee shop girl? Posted: 5/13/2007 3:51:36 PM
DDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOITTTTTTTT!!! If you don't you will be kicking yourself in the a***! She is just shy that is why she did not look at you directly ....but....she smiled.....

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 946 (view)

Why men wont date independant women Posted: 5/11/2007 2:58:07 PM
It is just a statement, as so aptly put by Miffys, as to "part of who I am"....and if you read some of the profiles on here, as to what men are looking for, many state they are looking for an independant woman. (Thank s , Mr. Ed!) We don't all NEED to say that, no more than the guys that are "well endowed", need to say that they are " well hung"... get my drift? It's all the same, we are trying to state who we are in a way that attracts the opposite sex....

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

What do men think when their wives are aging and losing their figure? Posted: 5/4/2007 4:35:05 PM
It is possible that the author was just asking for herself...for the day she is is those shoes..or maybe she is a knockout and just curious...most of us hope to hear "I still see the young woman that I fell in love with, laughter in her eyes and the kiss still passionate that lingers to this day...always my life...forever my love....Carmella

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

My experience of being dumped Posted: 4/22/2007 7:29:34 AM
Hey, you got that right! Been thru the very same steps , and to you Dumpers from the Dumpees: Hey! Guess what?! My world did not end, I did not die from heartache and I survived the way you used and abused me! Now I look back and wonder what the heck I ever saw in you and now I notice the greasy hair and the way you slithered around with a million excuses ! GEEZ! I shiver now, you skanky scrub!!!! But we are a little wiser now, aren't we ?

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

invite for dinner and then... Posted: 4/22/2007 7:19:29 AM
Hey Girl, I think that if a guy is really interested in you he will continue to make the effort to please and entice you and keep you interested. In a long term relationship, (I think 6 months is definitely considerd long-term by today's standard), I can understand occasional lapses , " I have been working late alot and I am tired but I would like to come, won't have time to change or clean up" , you know, that type of thing. But in that case, you should be fore-warned. But no matter how long you have been seeing each other, 6 months or 6 years, as long as you care, or just for the sake of caring for your own self, I think that one needs to be as attractive and at your best at all times . Unless you are exercising or working, or have just worked a long stint of long shifts , I can't think of any excuse to not at least shower. A good hot shower always makes me feel better , no matter how tired I am! Honey, it sounds like this guy just does not care about his appearanace. We all know "Mr. and Ms. Frumpy", we see them out and about in public all the time, Mr. and Ms. Stinky, the ones we all cut a wide path around when we come across them. So if he is already done with the Impressive Stage, you might as well forget it unless you are settling for a slob. P.S. It's always nice if your guest brings a little token of affection or gratitude, such as flowers, wine or some dessert he picked up at the store. But if not that, at least an offer to bring something along, other than a fork and knife!!

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Did she show her true colors? Posted: 3/11/2007 9:39:07 AM
You know, Creativguy has very good points...it is hurtful to think that she did that, more insult added to injury...but yes, it just says a whole lot about her! It will fade away as you concentrate and put energy elsewhere...with time. But remember....KARMA DUDE!!!

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Did she show her true colors? Posted: 3/11/2007 9:08:23 AM
Hey, I got dumped in the same manner by a guy who used the heck out of me. The problem was, I was so crazy about him that I kept wanting to do stuff for him, like cooking and gifts, any thing he asked for... my fault in this case...I threw my self down on the floor for him to walk all over. But you know what, Hun? What comes around ALWAYS GOES AROUND!!!! The chick he dumped me for turned around and dumped him 3 months later and left him for her old boyfriend hoping for a week long spree and that he would take her back. They fought, he wrecked his car from laying drunk all the time over her. Her boyfriend pressed charges against him for cussing him out on the phone. Within a month he had another chick move in with him that he met in court and in a couple of months, she had him in court for hitting her and she stole money from him. It is alot more complicated than that...but just to hit some of the highlights. Now when I see him I wonder what I ever saw in him....he has sunk to the lowest depths . We don't always get to see it....but there is justice and we don't even have to seek revenge, it just happens-seen it happen many times!

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

all men out there tell me this Posted: 3/3/2007 5:22:56 AM
Hey, It sounds like you are asking all the men to tell you their opinion...however, please listen to the women as well. MAYBEeee....maybe your ex and the guy are good friends in general and your guy has asked him how he feels about him being with you. Or maybe your ex just suspects and lets him know that it would make for hard feelings or an awkward situation if his roomie and his ex-girlfriend started having a relationship...

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 210 (view)

Long hair on older women Posted: 2/25/2007 12:35:44 PM
Pleeezz! Stop the insanity!! I have met many older women that are of the mindset that once you get older you must chop your hair off because long hair is not becoming on an older woman- and have had many tell me that to my face. Only to those rude individuals, do I now make it a habit to respond, "Not everyone wants to go butch!" I know beautiful women with very short hair and admire them...I don't make it a habit to critique the ugly ones. I say, what ever you want to do with your hair is fine! BUt don't try to impose the "no white after labor day" laws upon me and I won't tell you to go mind your own business!! As for the man, I always try to look pleasing to him and if I don't particularly want long hair or short at the moment, well we can usually compromise with a mid length cut!!

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Would you kiss someone with Black teeth???? Posted: 2/25/2007 8:48:18 AM
Ha-ha, that was funny but also enlightening! Welllll....hey, that is something serious to think about! I will not let anybody suck my fingers anymore without washing them first and doing a quick finger-nail check or at least whipping out the anti-microbial gel!!!! Seriously, that is something to think about!

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Would you kiss someone with Black teeth???? Posted: 2/25/2007 8:41:25 AM
Andy, Horrors!! I feel for you, fella! I also insist on a recent photo because I like to have an idea of what I am putting my time and energy into...and have found that most of the time I was told " I don't have one-but everyone tells me that I am good-looking", I have been extremely disappointed. I don't think that alot of us feel like we could put that type of thing in our profiles, "Oh, by the way, I have black teeth", "I have a slight, hairy hump on my on my back" or a "tail", that we would get many responses. I always let the guy know what I feel may be something that may be a turn off to them if and when we do meet, for the same reason, I don't want them to feel that they have really wasted their time. Met a hot latino that sent me his pic , waist up , in the shower. Oh my God, have mercy, baby!! After the usual routine you mentioned and several hot phone conversations I rushed to the train station miles away to meet him. Well, he now had very long hair and thick glasses and was about 50 pounds heavier...okay, slight turn off. But when he bent foward to give me a hug... the horrible smell of caca emanated from his mouth! I kissed him politely on the cheek when we parted but was grossed out for the short duration we had to stay togethor...well, even if you are not a God or Godess, everyone should take care of their bodies as much as possible. As for the lady, be kind. Just tell her you don't feel any chemistry. That is the ultimate tell-tale sign for me- I can tell from our content of our on-line conversations, followed by his voice, his words on the phone, if there may be a possible connection...but ultimately,when he turns the corner and our eyes meet... it's either POW!, BAM!-as Emeril says, or "sizzle-fart-pooooo" that determines the setting for our meeting. Good luck! Carmella

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 1154 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 12/2/2006 7:31:03 AM
I myself respond to ads with no pics because I know that there is always this possibility that you may pass someone up that will knock your socks off with his eyes or with his smile, or his touch. Let's face it, when it gets down to it, we, with any good sense know that looks are really not everything. But at the same time, there are some appearances that do not appeal to all of us. So I will talk first, to see if there is any substance there, that is most important. Then if we seem to click, YES! I do want to see who I am talking to and it is usually mutual. Alot of men do state that they will not respond at all to anyone with no pic. I have met several who flat out lied about their looks, age and position in life. There was one guy who had a pic like a male model and I told him he was too young for me. He confessed it was taken when he was in his early 30's. He was 63. Another looked too good to be true, handsome as all get-out and in life, he really was...but he was a stupid-ass as well!! And then there are the ones, that make this on line stuff a life-style, fo meeting women just for sex, that are married or seperated with no intention of getting a divorce. Some of them are honest enough to say so, up front. Some of them do not post a pic because they live in small communities and they do not want everyone to know their business. Some of them, like myself, have to be careful because of professional boundaries, cannot end up dating clients. One guy really blew me away with his intelligence and sweetness and then as he gave me bits of information about himself, when it came to his name...well, he had an unusual name that made me gasp! Oh my God! It was an indigent client that I knew well, who had no ambition to take care of his business or even his health! So all along, he knew who he was talking to as my pic was posted , but I did not have a clue! So be careful, folks!

Joined: 11/10/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Wayyyy outta my league!!! Posted: 12/2/2006 6:56:18 AM
Hey Dime- go for it...I have done this on-line dating on and off for some time ....met alot of bad, mean crappy, nutty weirdos and met a few sweet, nice guys that for one reason or another, we just did not seem to click. Out of this, I met and had 2 different long term relationships that did not work out in the end. It's really difficult to meet people out in the real world and so alot of us have to resort to this. I know about the on-line connection...everything seems wonderful and you actually "feel" like this may be the one. But even as I mentioned above, things may or may not work out, it's a chance you have to take. Then again, there was this college proffessor of art that I met on-line. HE contacted ME!! He was incredibly handsome in his photos and we had alot in common. I felt like he was out of my league. When I met him in person, I really liked him, I kept wondering why he wanted to meet me, I am a plus size person,( but not too bad.) He looked like a male model, all blonde and blue-eyed and toned...but after the initial meeting, while he said he wanted to date and kept making dates...and breaking them. Then he just quit calling. He took his ad off the personals. About 2 months later, there he was again. I told him that I thought maybe I was too heavy for him and had actually lost about 15 pounds, he had made me want to do that for him. He said not to do it for him, to do it for myself...the thing of it was...he liked BBW much bigger than me!! And he had done a really weird thing. He had met a BBW on-line from Pennsylvania and within 6weeks of meeting her, went to Pennsylvania to move her and her teen-aged daughter in to an apartment about 2 blocks from where he live. Well, needless to say...HE said SHE was a nut! I think that is like th pot calling the kettle black. Well, he said he was sorry and really wanted to have dinner and he was to call me with a time to meet the next day and I never heard from him again. HE lacked alot. But how do we ever know, until we meet...lay our tender hearts out there...take that chance? Don't let it slip away...Best of luck, Carmella

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