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Thread: Ability to Wink at users that aren't within your distance.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Ability to Wink at users that aren't within your distance. Posted: 9/9/2007 7:31:42 PM
i agree!!! you could try adding her to your favorites list and hope she emails you, because once first contact is made, it doesn't matter what the restrictions are. huggles

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Hang-ups...rude or necessary? Posted: 8/5/2007 9:41:46 PM
So I was just talking on the phone to someone and we had a bit of an arguement. I was tired of the conversation immediately and wanted to get off the phone, but I wanted to be respectful and hear the person out. The other person, however, decided it would be a good idea to just hang up on me whenever I started talking again. I downright despise it when people hang up on me. I always try never to hang up on someone and I'll even call them right back if my temper gets the best of me and I do hang up on them. It just made me even that much angrier. I don't think there is ever an acceptable time to hang up on someone. What do you think?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Can we stop calling it an intimate encounter? Posted: 7/26/2007 2:33:14 PM
I agree with those who have said they believe "intimate" is POF's PC way of stating the obvious. It is indeed a "sexual" encounter. But I also think that if it were changed, there would be more people complaining about the "rudeness" of it, than just taking it for what it is. Everything sells for it's face value, IMO. Nik

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/26/2007 2:29:33 PM
Once he came home last night we had a long talk...most of which was just repeating what had already been said. Frustrated and even more fed up, I shoved my laptop at him and said "shut up and read." He read it all, from beginning to end. And when he was done he gave me a hug. smiles He agreed with a lot that you all had to say and we both appreciate the advice of those wiser than us. Or, at the very least, more experienced. I'm not saying the problem is fixed, because I'm sure that if we don't compromise here, that the situation will come up again. However, he seems a lot more open to what I'm saying now, and not just running off with the "injured puppy" face. If it ever does come up again, then, I, at least, feel more confident that we will be able to handle it maturely and responsibly...and without the huge blowup. Thanks again for all your advice. Both for, and against my point of view. It is only when we can truely see from the other's eyes that we can even begin to understand the emotions behind the words. Nik

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/25/2007 11:34:45 PM
Dare, Thank you for an opposing point of view. That was what I was waiting for. I agree that compromise is usually the answer. How do you compromise "yes" vs. "no" viewpoints? Maybe it's just me being stubborn but I feel if I give in now and just "do it" then I'll be showing him that he can get whatever he wants from me by throwing a fit, and if I stand my ground then he's still in the same, undesireable place he was before. Ms. Flis, The idea of making the lists was an exceptionally brilliant idea, thank you. Also, I really liked the examples you gave of how you express and receive love. Inspiring. Eazk, Once again: Beautifully written and appreciatively received.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/25/2007 11:13:30 PM
Sorry for posting so much, but I feel I need to tell the whole story in order to be able to receive well-eduacated advice, and I just remembered something I left out: He said he talked to some of his friends about it at work, and they all agree with him, that I must just not find him attractive and therefore don't love him. I was irritated by this because I don't feel like he needs to be bringing his friends into our sex life, but I can't complain about it, because I'd be lying if I claimed to never talk to my girlfriends about it. I'm sure his buddies at work, seeing as they are all men, don't know much about horomones and the changing woman body during pregnancy, but I feel a little attacked by this. Some what like being backed in the corner. Why the heck do I care what his friends say? They aren't here! And I'm not having sex with any of them either! I tried to explain to him that everytime he feels the need to nag me about sex, the less and less I want it. I'm starting to resent it all together. Which, you don't have to be a sexpert to know, would ruin any relationship. I just hope we can fix this before it gets that far.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/25/2007 11:07:29 PM
Ginger, He is actually very considerate! This is extremely uncharacteristic of him because his usual attitude is "whatever my baby wants, my baby gets." [I'm probably going to get hell for saying that later.] He bought me a big bouquet of flowers when I told him I was pregnant, goes and gets me juice in the middle of the night, and rubs my back whenever I ask. Not many guys do all these things, ALL THE TIME. That's why I'm having such a hard time wrapping my head around this. It's really not like him at all. grin Maybe he's experiencing a sympathy mood swing... Countryboy, I feel inclined to agree with your "man up" statement, but that requires admitting I need to "woman up" some. Which, I do. But I'm also not above admitting it. Thanks for the advice!

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/25/2007 10:53:04 PM
countryboy, I would very much like to log off and go spend time with him, but he stormed out of the house when I told him I needed some space for a while or I would say something I would regret later. I thought this was remarkably mature of myself, seeing as how I could just start yelling about what an a** he's being...but I didn't think that would solve anything. The result is that I now get to sit here by myself wondering what the heck's going on in my life. URGH.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/25/2007 10:50:59 PM
eazk, Thank you so much for a man's point of view! I was a little afraid someone would get on here and tell me how wrong I am, which I want to hear if I am wrong, but hearing what you have to say made me feel a little better about the situation. I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing him away, like I said, and I really like your idea of the IOU jars. Cute, and practical. to everyone: I did mention the whole you-have-a-hand thing to him, and the result made me feel like a total b*tch. He said if were just about sex, then yes! great! he'd just do that...but that it's about the emotional connection he has when we're having sex. I feel that connection all the time. I guess I just don't understand why he can only feel it when we're having sex.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/25/2007 10:44:33 PM
Rune, Thank you so much for that post. It may also just be my crazy mommy horomones acting up, but it even made me tear up a little bit. He's a few years older than me, and sometimes I think I expect too much from him. He was a "late bloomer" and didn't really get into the dating scene until he was almost 20, and so I think he's still learning like I am. I don't want to push him away. I still love cuddling and kissing and holding hands. As a matter of fact, I love those more than ever now... But I can't seem to get that through to him. I think seeing a counselor, or at least have him talk to my doctor, would be a good idea. Thanks again, that was so helpful!

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of love Posted: 7/25/2007 10:35:39 PM
Yes. Sometimes I feel like I'm too young to even be worried about things like sex and love...but it seems society has other plans. Sex isn't really a big deal to me. But I think the problem is that when we first got together we had that new relationship infatuation and had sex often... Now...I'm just not into it. I'm trying to explain to him that I love him...but he doesn't listen. He isn't like this about anything but this particular topic. I think it's stupid and juvenile to fight over sex. It's just sex! But I'm exasperated. And need advice. Thanks, Nik

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Being pressured for the sake of "love" Posted: 7/25/2007 10:08:04 PM
My boyfriend has been getting really upset with me the last few weeks because I haven't wanted to have sex with him. It's not just him, obviously, I haven't been sexually attracted or aroused by anyone or anything. At first I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me...but then I found out I'm pregnant. Which we're both really excited about. I talked to my doctor and some friends who have had children already and they say that my lack of sexual energy is normal. That my horomones are freaking out on me and that it will go away after a while. Now, he's pissed off because he says having sex with me is how he expresses that he loves me. I don't understand why he can't show me he loves me in other ways. He's really a great boyfriend, very sweet and considerate. And god knows i love him to death, but I don't feel like I should be being pressured into having sex. I don't know what to do. It's getting to the point where I'm about ready to walk out the door. I told him today that if he isn't happy, then leave. I don't want to walk out on him...especially not now...but I just don't feel right about being pressured. He told me tonight that he doesn't think I love him. "How have you shown me you love me?" I thought that was extremely unfair... What do I do?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Little kid with a lisp...... Posted: 7/9/2007 12:10:02 PM
ok...maybe i'm just stupid...but i don't get it. NIK

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Is it too much to ask for people to keep their promises? Posted: 7/9/2007 12:08:23 PM
Promises are very important to me. So much so, I have the word "promise" tattooed on my hip. But I've begun to notice the promises don't mean as much to some people. For example: If I were to promise you I'd take you out for a milkshake, then come hell or high water, you'd get that freaking milkshake. But I've been in relationships before where every promise ever made to me was broken. I just don't think I could be with someone who broke promises. Not just to me, but to their family or kids, too. Am I being too judgemental? I don't think saying "I promise" should just be a way to get someone off your back about something. Is it too much to ask for people to just keep their word? NIK

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

funny quotes Posted: 7/8/2007 7:24:39 PM
Never criticize a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away...and you have their shoes. ~Freida Norris

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 121 (view)

Funny Names For Kids Posted: 7/7/2007 2:47:18 PM
my bf's niece's name is Anna Graham. they want to name their soon to be little boy Halo Graham. I went to school with a girl named Leslie Skank. You couldn't win with a last name like that though. The boy I used to babysit for in high school had a friend named Lindsay Ashley. It was a boy. poor kid I also knew a Justin Tyme. That was interesting. He was always late, too. I thought about naming my daughter Rayne Storm...but I think that's a fleeting idea. A guy I knew a while ago married a Holly Wallanin. But everyone called her Wolly Hallanin. And the guy talking about the two birds: Finnegan and Finnegan Again, that freaking made my day. ~NIK

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

He says I love you Posted: 6/5/2007 3:36:28 AM
i just let it slide. i figure you guys are right. it's nothing worth getting stressed out about. tonight while we were unpacking some of my things in my new house, he wrapped me up in a hug and said, "you know, i think i'm falling in love with you." so i responded, "well, let me know when you've fallen all the way." i thought it was a cute way of saying "i'm not going anywhere." thanks for your advice. nik

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

He says "I love you" Posted: 5/31/2007 3:03:50 PM
My boyfriend, whom is a rather recent addition to my life, told me he loved me on the phone the other night. He was a little drunk, having been out celebrating a friends 21st. My response to him was something along the lines of this: "Don't tell me that. You're drunk. If you still feel the same way in the morning, tell me then." It was never brought back up. Now I'm not sure what to do. I do care about him, but it's too soon for me to be in love. I'm not sure if my response might have scared him off a bit, but he's been a little distant the last couple of days. How can I make this up to him?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Do people expect a certain amount of drama? Posted: 4/29/2007 1:02:57 PM
you'll know when you're ready. don't rush yourself.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

I don't understand how people can be so cold... Posted: 4/29/2007 12:58:58 PM
My ex and I were planning on going to a concert together later this month. We are still friends, and it was working out really well for both of us. Well, he called me, randomly last week and told me he wasn't going and he didn't want to talk to me anymore. shrug So today I went over to his apartment to get my tickets and give him the gift I got for him when I was traveling and I found out why. When he came downstairs to meet me, he brought his NEW GIRLFRIEND'S THREE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER down with him. Which I think is FREAKING AMAZING since we broke up because he wasn't ready to settle down yet. And now he has a strange woman and her daughter LIVING with him. How could you be so cold as to flaunt your new life in someone's face like that? Has this ever happened to anyone else before? How the hell am I supposed to react to this??? SCREAMS

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

The Dumbest Thing You've Ever Done For Love... Posted: 4/28/2007 12:30:47 AM
i once gave up everything i had. my family, my schooling, my job, my self respect...everything i had. it was the biggest mistake of my life. it turned out horribly because he left anyways and then i had nothing. i will never ever ever ever EVER make that mistake again. nik

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

are relationships actually needed? Posted: 4/24/2007 12:29:51 AM
i believe that if you feel you need a another person in your life to be happy then that is the LAST thing you should be concerned with. if you can't make yourself happy, what makes you think you can make someone else happy?? that just my opinion, though. nik

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

catfish, starfish, red fish, blue fish...??? [Closed Thread] Posted: 4/21/2007 12:06:19 AM
i have noticed that some people's profiles have a type of fish after their screen name. i have been told that to take this personality test you have to go to edit profile, but i don't see anywhere to do this on my page. please help? thanks, nik

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Still holding on... Posted: 4/4/2007 1:05:40 PM
i'm sorry, but i don't think you really got what this post was about. he loves me. yes. he tells me that almost daily. but if he isn't willing to give in our relationship, then we aren't going to have one. and if his love means walking out on me whenever he gets an itch. then i'd rather be without his type of love.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Still hung up on the old guy, but don't want to hurt the new one... Posted: 3/31/2007 6:37:14 PM
thanks so much for all the input. there has been some really great advice here. as for stringing him along. that's exactly what i'm trying NOT to do. but at this point in time, i'm afraid that even a interest in a friendship will feel like something more to him. i did talk to him last night, and he got very upset. and confessed to a few things himself. like having just gotten out of a serious relationship himself...less than a month ago! big red flags. the ex is completely out of the picture. we don't even talk anymore. but old feelings are still there. and until they are gone. or at least very very diminished, it wouldn't be fair to me or any guy i date. i'm very against rebounds. having been one several times, i know how that feels. again...thanks so much for all the advice. you guys are great. hugs

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Still hung up on the old guy, but don't want to hurt the new one... Posted: 3/29/2007 3:20:47 AM
i have tried to start this conversation a couple of times...but he always gets this utterly hurtful look in his eyes. he's a great guy. and i think there could be something there in the future...but i don't know if he will stick around if i actually come right out and say it.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Still hung up on the old guy, but don't want to hurt the new one... Posted: 3/29/2007 3:10:33 AM
Just for a little bit of backstory: I was seeing a guy for a very long time, we were in love, and it was very serious. We got engaged and began our happily ever after. Then one day he comes home and says he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. He still loves me, still wants to see me, but only as friends. That was almost two months ago. He still calls sometimes and drops in for a visit...but I've asked him to stop, and he's agreed. About a week and a half ago I met someone new. He's really sweet and def. charming. I like him...that's for sure. But I still love my ex. I know nothing's going to happen of our relationship. Even if he comes back, I'm done. But the new guy wants a commitment, and I'm not ready for that. How can I tell him this without driving him away completely? Or worse, hurting him?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

spelling, grammar, and punctuation Posted: 3/29/2007 2:57:16 AM
i pride myself on being a very intelligent person (watch me have spelled that wrong), but i make grammar and spelling mistakes sometimes. sometimes it's a typo or juxtaposed letters, or what-have-you...and sometimes i'm just having a blonde moment. oh, and i hardly ever capitalize. no reason for it, the shift button just takes too long, i guess...haha. but those profiles and thread annoy me, too. i don't respond to them at all. and emails written that way just get deleted. shrug that may make me a hypocrit, but at least i don't write like i'm having a hand seisure on the keyboard. :)

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Still holding on... Posted: 3/22/2007 2:19:25 AM
it gets easier as time goes on. another phone call tonight. didn't answer. go me. grin thanks so much for all the support. it's nice to know i'm not the only one in the world who has to go through this. hugs all around!

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Still holding on... Posted: 3/20/2007 4:00:53 AM
i just wish it weren't so hard to do. i mean...i can sit here and tell you i don't want to talk to him. but when i see his number on my caller id, i smile. urgh. but...i didn't answer the phone today. that's a step...at least.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Still holding on... Posted: 3/19/2007 2:54:31 AM
was on this site for forums only. had it long before november, but deleted it. then reopened it in november. still use it mostly for forums...not really into internet dating. shrug thanks for the advice though. it's really hard not to answer the phone when he calls...but i deleted his number from my phone. Once he's gone for good it will be much easier to get over him. it's just getting him gone that poses the problem. i still care about him and i don't want to hurt him...but i can't keep killing myself over him. ya know?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

How Do You Let Go of Someone When You're Both Still In Love? Posted: 3/19/2007 2:10:32 AM
I wish I had the answer for you. I am going through the same sort of thing with my Ex-Fiance. The only thing I can tell you is to hold your head up high and stand by your convictions. You know what is best for you and your children. That is your priority in life. You trump Ex. I promise.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Do you ever feel like screaming Posted: 3/19/2007 2:02:31 AM
Sometimes I really want to scream. I just go out and sit in my car and turn the radio of and LET IT OUT. That always makes me feel better. And then I come back to reality. sad face

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Still holding on... Posted: 3/19/2007 1:59:26 AM
My fiance and I have been broken up for over a month now. I know it takes longer than a month to get over someone, but it's time to move on. The only problem is that he won't let me go. I have told him repeatedly, even though he was the one who left me, that I need him to be completely gone so I can get over this. NO CONTACT. And he refuses to accept this. He told me that it's over. That it isn't ever going to happen. And yet he still insists on telling me he loves me. I don't know why. I've asked him not to. It gives me a false hope. I still love him. I don't want him back...not now. But a part of me hopes for a reconcilliation somewhere down the road. I don't know how to tell him this without hurting him. If there is no hope for us...then why put ourselves through the pain? How do I get the idea of NO CONTACT through to him...?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Fish Personality Posted: 3/18/2007 12:37:36 AM
i haven't even heard of it? where did you find it?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

lipstick lesbians??? Posted: 3/18/2007 12:34:24 AM
lol, my sentiments exactly, Foxy. kudos, friend.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

lipstick lesbians??? Posted: 3/15/2007 3:34:31 PM
foxy, i thought it was a "trendy" thing too. guess it's a good thing i asked. lol.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

lipstick lesbians??? Posted: 3/15/2007 3:05:23 PM
i just read the term "lipstick lesbians" in another thread and i have no idea what that is... at the risk of sounding completely stupid...what is that? any insight? blahblahblah...have to make this longer or i can't post it...blahblahblah...

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

to pad or not to pad? Posted: 3/15/2007 2:26:05 AM
darkpony is cracking me up. i'm not a guy...but i have input!!! not all girls wear padded bras to make themselves look bigger. i wear somewhat padded bras to hide my nipple rings. i wouldn't call that false advertising...i'd call that self-preservation. lol.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

What's up with younger women these days? Posted: 3/15/2007 2:17:49 AM
i don't think there is anything wrong with younger women. probably because i am one of them...but what can you do? lol. i wouldn't go anywhere secluded with a stranger at all, regardless of age. but i steer away from men who are as old or older [eesh] than my father. just something wrong about that. twice my age would be 40. i know that's not old. but that's waaaaay too old for me. it's a comfort thing. if you are uncomfortable...get out. it works for some girls...not for me. but i don't think that means there is something wrong with me.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Wanting someone you can't have Posted: 3/15/2007 2:11:42 AM
trust me, hon...i know what you mean. just surround yourself with friends. do things that you enjoy doing. turn your music up too loud and dance around in your underwear...lol. [not all at the same time, however!!] at least...that's how i get over it.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

I'm in love with my best friend Posted: 3/14/2007 11:20:17 PM
sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel. if she wants to be with you then you've just given her the perfect opportunity. if she doesn't, then i would reccommenf taking a little time apart, to get over the initial awkwardness, and then just be friends like usual. if you find that being just friends is too stressful or unfulfilling for you and she doesn't want a relationship, then you should probably stay away from her or see her less. it's hard, but you don't need to be constantly depressing yourself with her presence. just my opinion though.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

How do you handle this? Posted: 3/14/2007 11:17:05 PM
that was the entirity of my last relationship. he would agree to plans and then change them without telling me about it. and the more excited i was about something, the likelier it was to NOT happen. yeah.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

how can you tell the difference... Posted: 3/13/2007 9:28:25 AM
woah woah woah. i'm 20, so i'm not talking about picking anyone up in bars...lol. i could see how that could be a booty call though. especially if it's a dive.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

how can you tell the difference... Posted: 3/13/2007 7:54:17 AM
^^^ so noted. it's too bad people can't just wear warning labels. "Hi! I'm a player!" "Hi! I'm a Jerk!" and every once in a great while: "Hi! I'm an honest and intellegent guy who treats women right." unfortunately that is usually followed by "I'm taken."

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

how can you tell the difference... Posted: 3/13/2007 6:42:51 AM
i'm not just talking about online dating. i'm talking about you're out on the town with the girls and a guy hits on you all night. how do you know if he's really interested in you or if you are a quick fix to a temporary problem?

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

It doesn't matter how many times you say goodbye if you keep coming back... Posted: 3/13/2007 6:32:54 AM
I just don't understand how a person can go from being "completely in love with you" to not wanting you around and back again at the drop of a hat. I guess I'm just not that fickle. I do know that it comes down to this: either we'll be together, or we won't. And if we aren't...then I want him out of my life. Mainly because functioning is much easier when I don't have the constant reminder of what life USED to be compared to what it is now. It's unfortunate...but life goes on. As will I. AS SOON AS HE gets the clue and goes away. I hope.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

how can you tell the difference... Posted: 3/13/2007 6:27:07 AM
i'm recently new to the whole dating scene...and yet i'm beginning to notice a trend. how can you tell the difference between a guy who is truely interested in getting to know you and a guy who is just interested in a booty call? because these days it kinda just feels like that's what dating is...and excuse to have meaningless sex with an absolute stranger. and that doesn't appeal to me at all.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

My Ex just kissed me this morning. Posted: 3/13/2007 6:13:59 AM
I am in the same situation you are in. Everytime I see my ex we end up kissing. Even if it's just a peck goodbye. We both still love each other (it's only been a month since we broke up) but the time just isn't right for us. My reaction to this is just to avoid him. I don't see him and I don't answer his calls most of the time. Not only is it easier for us to move on that way, but the risk of turning into FWB isn't there either. As for your situation, I guess that depends on whether or not you want to be with him. You said you both agreed to split up...but it sounds like you are both having second thoughts. If you want him, and he wants you...then give it another shot. I don't believe that if a couple breaks up once they'll never work out, because I've never met a couple who stayed together from the first time they met. I do believe that everything happens for a reason...so you should make sure that the problems that you were experiencing before are no longer an issue or it's just going to be another case of history repeating. If you don't want to be with him, then I would suggest not seeing him. Not talking to him. Not being available for him at all. I know it's hard. BELIEVE ME...I KNOW IT'S HARD. But it's been my experience that that is the only way to move on. Good Luck.

shimmerinthedarkness

Joined: 11/12/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

It doesn't matter how many times you say goodbye if you keep coming back... Posted: 3/12/2007 1:58:24 PM
i asked him if he wanted to little mementos of our relationship. pictures, ticket stubs, notes, etc. when he asked what i had planned to do with them if i kept them, THEN i told him my plan to burn them. as for hopes of reconcilliation, i'm conflicted. in my head i know we shoudn't be together, but in my heart, all i can do is love him and want him back. that's one of the primary reasons for trying to get away from him. as long as he is around, being a constant reminder of what my life used to be...i can never move on and figure out what my life is now. i won't just sit around and wait for him. which is exactly what he wants me to do.

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