Hawaii Travel Info anyone? chat & forums.

Show ALL Forums

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Author

Thread: Hawaii Travel Info anyone?

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Hawaii Travel Info anyone? Posted: 2/22/2008 1:43:52 AM
mallardjusted, I have a question. If you care to, please send me a place I can ask. The question is regarding Hawaii and not inappropriate.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Visiting Maui Posted: 2/22/2008 1:03:45 AM
Manatenish, lol, no this is a family trip and I am not fishing for a partner. I didn’t give any subliminal messages in my question. However, I appreciate the discreet wink you sent. You never know a person’s motives. I am thinking a web site name “Lonely Planet” is not my type of a web site, but since you recommended it I will visit it. Goldcard, thank you for the www.trip advisor.com web site information. I will definitely visit it. Mallardjusted is a great profile name. I give you prompts because you have a nice smile and are the only female to respond. If I was as suave as Manatenish, I would send you a discreet wink. Anyway, I have been to www.vrbo.com and agree that it is very good site. I went there and rented the same condo we stayed at last year, Kaanapali Shores. A nice beach front condo with the pool ten steps away, the beach twenty steps away, restaurant eighty steps away, and the cantina thirty steps away and a mile away going back to the condo. Please let me know what you did that is enjoyable. I did all the tourist stuff and hope to learn the not so tourist stuff. Aloha to each of you, and I appreciate your response.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Visiting Maui Posted: 2/22/2008 12:53:47 AM
Manatenish, lol, no this is a family trip and I am not fishing for a partner. I didn’t give any subliminal messages in my question. However, I appreciate the discreet wink you sent. You never know a person’s motives. I am thinking a web site name “Lonely Planet” is not my type of a web site, but since you recommended it I will visit it. Goldcard, thank you for the www.trip advisor.com web site information. I will definitely visit it. Mallardjusted is a great profile name. I give you prompts because you have a nice smile and you are the only female to respond. If I was as suave as Manatenish, I would send you a discreet wink. Anyway, I have been to www.vrbo.com and agree that it is very good site. I went there and rented the same condo we stayed at last year, Kaanapali Shores. A nice beach front condo with the pool ten steps away, the beach twenty steps away, restaurant eighty steps away, and the cantina thirty steps away and a mile away going back to the condo. Please let me know what you did that is enjoyable. I did all the tourist stuff and hope to learn about the not so tourist stuff. Aloha to each of you, and I appreciate your response.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Visiting Maui Posted: 2/15/2008 11:26:23 PM
I have vacationed on the west side of Maui, Kaanapali side. I will visit Maui again in a few months and hope someone can give me some input on a great place to stay or visit. Most Internet sites have the same tourist information and don’t offer an objective viewpoint. I like to relax on the beach, golf and snorkel.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Couchsurfing.com Posted: 2/15/2008 10:54:47 PM
Great Site. Thank You.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Teaching/volunteering abroad in the summer Posted: 2/10/2008 11:47:00 PM
I don’t have an answer to your question, but I teach in California and think we should trade places this summer.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Living together while separated? Posted: 3/10/2007 8:11:38 PM
The roommate situation can be avoidable if you chose to find out what caused it. Being roommates means you probably allow each other to exist in the same house without romance and communication. You are not kids any longer. Take control, either patch things up and bring back your romance or leave. If you want to move on, then you must leave. Why would you expect your roommate to leave. If you want to see other person them leave. If you can’t stand him any longer then leave. There is no complete separation in the same house.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

meeting up in person Posted: 3/5/2007 12:31:20 AM
It is about chemistry.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Getting stood up. Posted: 3/5/2007 12:25:03 AM
Yes, it happens a lot. Therer are those who are not ready to meet.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Grinding teeth. How do I get him to stop? Posted: 3/5/2007 12:20:49 AM
If it is bad enough, take him to a doctor.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Are there any subtle ways to let a guy know you like him??? Posted: 3/5/2007 12:13:38 AM
If a guy does not get the hint, say something like, “I was going to eat at a certain place, you should join be. I think you would like the food.” Then after the meal mention we should do this again.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do guys always ask for more pics? Posted: 3/5/2007 12:07:20 AM
I believe it can go both ways. Just ask him way and he should tell you why he wants more picyures. It can take the guessing out of the equation.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

What the Hell man? Posted: 2/17/2007 10:48:50 PM
Going out, having sex, then expecting a relationship can be a conflict. If you were there for just a booty call you would be writing in stating I found a great girl. She talks to her BF and others while we are having sex. But who cares because it is a great booty call. When we would like to have a deeper relationship with someone, then everything you describe would be wrong. A lot of players would not think anything odd about her behavior, especially if they got her phone number.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Birth order in a relationship Posted: 2/12/2007 11:06:31 AM
Being a middle child, I am the peace maker. I have only been a relationship with one first child person and she wanted to lead all the time. She was real close to her Mom. Question. Does the first child female have a closer relationship with her Mom?

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 3:00:45 PM
Rune3, to carry this conversation further will bring no resolve. I can agree with you .You are a free spirit and I applaud you for this. There is nothing wrong with your desire and ability to have a fully non-private relationship and fully open everything about you to the public. Once again, good for you and that’s great. Now for those who want privacy, you can’t accept that? You would rather find fault and speak of weaknesses and problems. Why can’t you accept my need for privacy just as I accept you need to have everything disclosed. As far as a women’s soul having many dark secret’s or not, you chose to state, “No wonder if you feel fearful or mistrust. That is what I heard from the Movie “Titanic.” If I wrong I am wrong, but it don’t make me feel fearful or mistrust, as you state. You are stuck on your view and yours alone. I am not fearful or mistrustful and will share my private information with the right person. I would never share anything with you because of how you chose to have no boundaries. This has nothing about being fearful of you. Just because I have boundaries in this area doesn’t make be awful, nor you for your lack of boundaries. Then you state, ‘to whom would this information be relevant? It's not something I would expect to come up in conversation!” Just because you would not expect to have this topic come up in a conversation, can you understand that it has. You project yourself on this issue and don’t understand the millions of others who think differently then you and would bring the topic up in a conversation. What you consider as common knowledge, others hold private. . You state, “The problem occurs because people rush to become intimate with each other rather than truly getting to know each other. Correct, that is why I have stated several times, one of the first things to do when starting a serious relationship is to find out the other person’s boundaries. Then you say, Many relationships seem to be artificial constructions based on adherence to rules and negotiations. So, to love and cherish, honor and obey till death do you part are senseless rules and negotiations. To expect your SO to be faithful is a senseless rule? To expect anything from you SO is nonsense? You really have an open relationship and that is great. Then you state, “There is a better way to be than that and it involves relating to the other person with an open heart, truly seeing who they are and letting yourself be seen and caring for their feelings. Not being afraid of what they might do. I agree with that statement. Would it not be great to end your sentence with, “and protecting them and their feelings. Once again, I am an open book to my SO. I don’t hide nothing from them and hope they share everything to me. I just want the information to be between us and not you. I am not afraid of what my SO would do. If I find the right person, then what do I have to be afraid of? Not all of us have your ability to present your life as an open book to everyone. Your bad habits, your insecurities, those things you are not proud of, your abilities and inabilities, your Mom and Dad’s family secrets, and so on. It is great that you could care less who knows. I chose to keep something’s private. And for this you analyze me and won’t accept my need for privacy. If my SO happens to say something, then it happens and no harm no foul.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 11:50:55 AM
rune3, have you consider that men are different in the fact that we don't go to boyfriends and discuss private feelings. I have a SO for that. I don't need someone else in my life to share my intimate thoughts with. I don't fear lack of privacy, I just don't want you to know everything about be. If I want you to know, I will tell you. I want a close relationship where I can discuss anything and everything to my SO. Maybe I am ridicules to suggest there is such a relationship. Perhaps we all keep information away from our spouse so we don‘t have to worry rather the talk or not. Do you share everything with your SO? I have heard that a women‘s soul is full of dark secrets. If you hold back the real private stuff, then you are right, who cares what is said. Then again, If you tell your SO how many sex partners you had, I don't think you want me to know. I don't care how close your SO is to me, it is your personal and privileged information and not for me to know. Now you may have no problems with everyone knowing details of your life and that is find. Finally, you state, "Firstly, when someone loves you and truly cares about your feelings and knows you, they will know how you would feel about telling people about things you've said and they would not intentionally upset you by doing that. So there would be no need for the prefixing "private" statements in that way. If that is the case, then there would be no woman or man speaking out and this thread has no merit. Or, are you suggesting this type of behavior of having no boundaries is dysfunctional and not part of a relationship where there is someone who loves you and truly cares about things you have said?"

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 11:24:20 AM
I need to find a person like Bwitching Bella since we share the same idea in privacy. For all those others, you are free to tell all to everyone. You have freedom of speech, and freedom to repeat whatever you hear. I trust your SO is on the same page as you and don’t mind people knowing everything about him or her. To nipoleon, an underground flow of information, it would be interesting to tap into that flow. rune3. I agree with you again. Once in a relationship, a person will have to accept their SO for who they are. It is not good to control anyone or pressure them to change. In this type of relationship you just really have to communicate a little extra and perhaps not share as much. Second, I agree that mistakes happen and just like the mistakes I make, I trust we have a measure of understanding and acceptance. I would never set someone up to fail. I have boundaries but you don’t. This is a huge issue that needs to be address before someone gets serious in a relationship. If you are already in a relationship, then you have to bend, give and take, and adjust to accommodate your spouse’s right to free speech and their right to privacy. Finally, I understand that (some or all) women need a sounding board to express concerns, to ask opinions, and reveal other personal issues. I understand if the issues regard them and their SO, then the other persons name is mentioned. I trust in these conversations that there are limits applied. No need to get carried away and say more then is needed. The original thread was a basic privacy questions. Should I expect by private thoughts to remain private. Yes or no. Then the thread developed into me keeping hurtful secretes, hiding something, being insecure, being a bad husband, controlling a SO, not allowing for mistakes, needing therapy, and neglecting a person’s right for freedom of speech. Basically, it comes down to, some people have boundaries in this area and some don’t. How many yes’ and how many no’s.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 49 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 2:44:50 AM
crazylilting, I am a single man. Both the examples I gave do not apply to me personally. I would never state anything personal about me or a spouse on this site. Both examples I gave do not apply to me, but was an example that could of happened., and hopefully demonstrated what I meant for this thread to be about. I was hoping to gain insight on how other people felt about this issue, not to receive therapy. Thank you for your concern, but I am not hiding anything and feel very free. I have no problem telling my spouse everything about me. I have no secretes and I am a open book. I am not hiding anything. It is for theses reasons I need privacy.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 2:19:05 AM
rune3, I agree with you and we are on the same page. This thread was never intended to regard the issues of abuse, people in need, emergencies, or major problems with a SO. This thread was presented as a normal, or what we would call normal, relationship where there was no abuse being done or no serious needs involved. I agree for safety and health reasons, people should talk to those who will listen. I did not intend to carry this thread this far, and don’t know how we got from keeping a private conversation private to keeping terrible secretes and hiding abuse. Is communication and protecting someone’s privacy so difficult? Is it not consider a personal responsibility to protect and guard the person you love. Has it come down to the level of communication that I must preface all my private conversations with my spouse by stating what I am about to say is private and my expectations are that you don’t tell anyone? Basically, I understand that some will tell everything and some won’t. I just need to find the ones who won’t.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 1:46:51 AM
Haywiresue. You stated, The true friend on the receiving end of the information will in most cases protect the confidentiality of the information, if they are aware of the expectations. So, the best I can expect is most cases. So, no matter how much I communicate my desire for privacy, I am still at risk. Since I need to protect myself, I will need to find that person who can leave the normal private things between us. This is a new part of my getting to know someone. One of the first things I will need to ask is, “Can you keep our normal private information between us? If she tells me in most cases, then I will have to say good-bye. I hope this open communication doesn’t effect my intimacy with my SO. I can see us snuggling in bed and after a couple of nice comments, I open up and tell her a few things about myself. Then I softly whisper, “This is private. Don’t tell anyone what I just said. Especially your Mom and your friend Sally. And I might say a couple other things in the next few moments, so whatever I tell you within the next few minutes please don’t tell anyone, especially your Mom. Now, where were we.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 1:22:55 AM
Rune3, Suppose my wife tells me she had an abortion when she was seventeen. A few nights later we are at a small gathering and the subject of abortion comes up. As the conversation goes back and forth regarding the pros and cons, I state, “Hey, ask my wife, she had an abortion a few years ago.” Now, would that not be for her to her say if she wanted to and not for me. Or, I tell my Mom about her abortion and a month later my Mom mentions something regarding the abortion to her. Want she told me about her abortion was private and I have no right to discuss what she tells me in private to anyone else.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 1:07:34 AM
Ok, let be try to explain. Suppose I am snuggling with my SO. We are having a private, intimate moment and I say, “ You make be feel so secure. When I was seventeen years old, my Mom and I had a fallen out. I slapped her across the face over a stupid augment, and I still regret it today. We went years without talking and having any physical contact. Because of that, I am a very insecure person, especially around women. But not with you, I love you and appreciate you in my life.” A week later my SO and I are having lunch with her Mom. Her Mom mentions the Women’s bake sale at church and asked me if I was still going to help since I am insecure around women. I would not want that to happen.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 12:25:10 AM
crazylilting, I understand your pain. What I am stating is that you can tell your Mum all about your wants, needs, desires, dreams, insecurities, or whatever. But please don’t mention mine. They are my words I give to you, not for others to know. If you tell me I have to tell others everything, then I will except that and won’t share with you anymore. As far as your tragic relationship, it is terrible to be isolated from friends and family. What you went though was not normal. I am not talking about keeping harmful secrets.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/8/2007 12:15:53 AM
Rune3, of course you are free to tell anyone anything you want. I am free not to except that. I can chose not to get into a relationship with someone of your chatty nature. Once again, you are free to be who you are and that's great for you. I personally need someone in my life I can communicate my wants, needs, and desires to and have it stay between us. Now if I was violet and harmful, of course this is different. I am talking about a normal relationship. Before a person gets serious in a relationship, they need to ask the person if they are chatty are private. If they are chatty, then I won’t get serious with them. I think it is good to confide in your Mum, but wouldn’t it be better to confide with your SO instead? Or is your SO chatty?

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/7/2007 9:53:59 PM
I always thought that keeping a person’s personal thoughts private was understood, it went without saying. Now before I get into a serious relationship, I will need to ask the person their interpretation of keeping things private. If she states she tells people everything, then I will need to move on. That was simple. You see, I don’t ever have to ask a person if what they are about to say to be is private or not, because I won’t repeat what someone else said to me. If my wife wet the bed, I would never tell anyone, even after we split, she deserves the dignity. I have plenty of things to talk about other then to bring my spouses words into the discussion. I have a lot of guy fiends and they don’t say anything private about their wife’s. It would be disrespectful. Nor do we ask about their wife’s other then how she doing.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/7/2007 5:02:52 PM
Haywiresue, thanks, I am not married and this is a issue for future reference. In a relationship a conversation may lead a person to state many things. You never know what might be said in a trusted conversation. And you may never hear something in relationship with no trust. If you have to define every personal comment, then it is to tricky and risky to talk. If some someone mentioned their opinion about war, I would not say, ” oh my wife just told me something the other day about that.“ I would just state my opinion and let my wife speak for herself. If a subject came up about spray painting a house. I would never say, “Oh my wife told me yesterday that she spray painted a house before.” It is none of there business what my wife told me. But then again, if she didn’t state this was personal information and don’t tell nobody, then I suppose I can tell whoever I want to.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/7/2007 4:33:12 PM
To judythecuety, You have addressed the issue with a socially accepted answer. You choose to comment on dreams and it is alright to tell your Mom that you were just asked to get Married, you decided to have children, you decided to changed the color of your living room, and the such. You didn’t mention any boundaries. So you are saying, every time I have a conversation that I deem private, I should always preface my conversation with saying, “This is private , top secrete, don’t’ share.” Now I will speak?

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/7/2007 4:24:24 PM
Classydetective, What if you told your spouse something you didn’t want anyone else to know and a week later, your Mother in-law brings up your insecurities issue or something like that in a conversation? What if you thought your Mother In Law wasn’t the type of person to give out good advice. What if she said, Leave the bum, you will be better off,” as her constant advice? Why your spouse would need her Mom to help her stay grounded is another thread.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/7/2007 4:14:10 PM
To Heartso, why to miss the point.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Staying Private Posted: 2/7/2007 3:09:38 PM
I have always been one to keep what happens in my household private. When I tell my spouse my dreams, fears, and private thoughts, is it reasonable to expect her not to tell anyone else? Especially her Mom. Does the same apply for a girlfriend? My answer is yes, but I am old-fashioned.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

should i fight or not? Posted: 2/5/2007 5:34:19 PM
How do you woo someone who doesn’t want to talk to you? How do you convince someone that they are in love with you? How do you change a person’s heart? The answer is you don’t. Send her a final message stating you desire to continue your relationship. Then let her go because the next step is up to her. She may never take the step, so move on and heal those things that need healing. Nurture yourself by doing things that are positive.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 158 (view)

so what is it that men really want????? Posted: 2/5/2007 4:58:41 PM
Someone you can tell your wants, desires, and fears to without their Mother In Law or friends knowing.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

I need valentines day help... Posted: 2/5/2007 4:44:22 PM
Place NFL football team's name on the front of each card. Inside you might write, "I bet these teams wish they went to the Super Bowl. Have a Super Bowl Valentine Day.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

girls with boyfriends husbands love me, and single girls snub there noses what gives Posted: 2/5/2007 4:11:51 PM
Maybe you are more confident with your friends and can be yourself. Perhaps you are trying to hard to be nice. Next time you go out, treat the new friend exactly like you treat your existing friends.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

What are the boundaries of intimacy Posted: 2/4/2007 11:53:41 PM
Shybe, Yes I was fly fishing, I wanted to get opinions. I agree that to some it is no big deal. To some it means nothing and I would be a controlling person if I wanted to change a person’s behavior. I am old fashion and don’t have a degree on this subject. However, after the first couple of threads I understood. It is no big deal to the person giving the kisses and it is not an act of intimacy. I have learn to look at it this way and to agree. To me, a kiss is something I don’t give out lightly and understand to others it is like shaking hands. I will leave it at that, and say thank you, and the thread is over for me. Please continue writing as much as you want.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 85 (view)

PICK UP LINES Best and the worst Posted: 2/4/2007 11:29:08 PM
How about the commercial where the lady in the front line of a drive though cleaners gives the person at the window her card and tells the person, "I will pay for a couple of his shirts and give him my card." Could this poassibly work?

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

What are the boundaries of intimacy Posted: 2/4/2007 10:39:03 PM
So, a kiss is no big deal to some people. One person mentioned controlling. Heaven for bid if a person would control someone, I agree we need to except people for who they are. I just wanted to find out if a person thought kissing was an intimate behavior. Please don't think this was a huge issue in our marriage. She continued this behavior for ten years and we didn't have fights over it. Once again, I just wanted to find out if others thought kissing was an intimate act, and I hear it is not. For me it is, for others it is not. Fair enough, the thread is over.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

What are the boundaries of intimacy Posted: 2/4/2007 10:22:28 PM
Yes, I believe I was native to expect someone to change once you get married. Unfortunately it is a common mistake, one us seasoned individuals would be careful not to make. However, you have not answered the question.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

What are the boundaries of intimacy Posted: 2/4/2007 10:10:22 PM
I will preface my question with this information. I am a secure person and have my individual opinion on intimacy. While in a relationship, I believe a person’s kiss on the lips should be reserved for their spouse. I may hug a female friend of the family I haven’t seen in years, but not more then that. I think kissing someone and even holding hands to be intimate. Perhaps I am old fashion and I am a minority regarding my opinion. My ex wife is in sales. She knows a lot of people. While we were married, I have been around her friends and business friends and noticed that she kissed a few selective men on the lips. I have three brothers and after each family meeting she waves good-bye to two of my brothers and only one brother will she kiss good-bye on the lips. I noticed she would wait until he came over for the kiss. Before we got married, she was meeting some business friends in a bar three to four times a week. They always kissed hello and good-bye. Since my wife was truly a beautiful woman, I figured these guys choose the bar as their office for a reason. I married her and thought the kissing and meetings would be apart of her past. She saw nothing wrong with it and continued her kissing behavior. Was it wrong for me to think she would give me her exclusive kisses once we goy married? Now, you might say this guy is jealous and is not secure in being a man. I am being honest when I say I never felt she would cheat on me and we never had that issue in our relationship. You might also think this guy is not over her and still pines away for her. No, I am not stuck in a dreadful attraction or mourning. I just feel there should be boundaries in a relationship, and really want to know if I was off base for future reference. I figured this forum would be an excellent place to get a variety of opinions. So, this question is regarding intimacy and not jealousy. It could be a jealousy issue for some, but please respond on the issue of intimacy. Please answer, is it appropriate for a married women to give men big hugs and kiss them on the lips as a sign of a greeting or good-by? Is it appropriate for a married man to give women big hugs and kiss them on the lips as a sign of a greeting or good-by?

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

How do you know if a girl likes you? Posted: 1/30/2007 4:30:15 AM
Let me say a typical teenager with his issues. I don't want anyone to think all teenagers reflect such issues. I think I will retire my thougths on these forums. It is diificult to express in words the context I want to deliver.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

How do you know if a girl likes you? Posted: 1/30/2007 4:21:21 AM
I agree with you again, there is nothing wrong with hanging out with someone who enjoys the same hang out. From his profile and statements in the forum I believe him to be a typical teenager. However, I would want to hear from him to correct me. My statements was aimed at a teenager’s level of hanging out. I would hope your level of hanging out is different then is. I have worked with teenagers for 15 years and observed many who hang out with there friends. If I did not care for this individual I would not bother to write him in such detail. I would not want to misguide this individual by trying to give him false hope our false encouragement. One thing I want to make clear is that I am no better then him in any fashion, and hope that I have not made him feel inferior. I gave him the same advice as I would give my son. I am hoping to facilitate a discovery to him.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

How do you know if a girl likes you? Posted: 1/30/2007 3:47:15 AM
Ice blue eyes said it perfectly. Right now you are scary.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

How do you know if a girl likes you? Posted: 1/30/2007 3:38:53 AM
Ok, I will try to explain. It has to do with attraction. How do you attract someone. Walking up to a girl and saying, “Hey you want to hang out?’ That won’t work. Girls don’t want to hang out. I agree with the other person, joking with a girl is only one way to start a conversation. I wanted to give you an example. The bottom line is a girl needs to be attracted to you. Walking up to a girl and saying, “Hey dude waz up?,” might not create an attraction. Or saying, “Hey, you want to be friends?” This might not accomplish your goal. It takes a girl ten seconds to size you up. You have to be confident and laid back. Knowing the latest codes to a video game won’t cut it. Knowing all about sports won’t do. Ask her questions and listen to her. You will find out want she is interested in. Trust me, you have to have good communication skills. This includes your profile. No offense, but your grammar is terrible. You are at the age where you need to stop hanging out and go to school. I have three college degrees and barely past high school. It is all about advancing yourself. If nothing else reaches you, then remember one thing. Have confidence in who you are. Education builds confidence. Liking yourself builds confidence. Having goals builds confidence. Traveling and meting new people builds confidence. The security of a good job builds confidence. If you can’t do these things, then just continue to hang out. Attracting girls takes effort on you part. If you are looking for a girl to just hang out like your friends, then you are not ready for a relationship. Oh, unless you want to find a girl who is addicted to drugs or have mental issues. These girls make lousy dates, but they will hang around and do nothing with you all day. In fact as long as you feed their addition, they will think you are brilliant and follow you any where.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

How do you know if a girl likes you? Posted: 1/30/2007 2:56:50 AM
How do you know a girl likes you. One, she will listen to you. A girl who is not interested will give a reason to leave. Don't spend a long time talking to a girl. You will seem to needy and kill any attraction. When you think a girl likes you, just ease off and ask her for her email address. Don't rush it and over kill. A man will take things slow. Wait a few days then email her. Once again ask simple questions and allow her time to respond. Don't say things like I love you, I keep thinking about you, I can't wait to see you again. You will appear to needy. Once again, a man will take it slow and is not needy. A boy will rush in and smother the person. Keep the girl waiting a little because they will think about you during the wait. Just as you think about someone you like and hope they would talk to you. The more you think about them the crazier you get, same with girls. Being a man is something that has been lost in our culture. Girls don't want someone who will buy them everything or will try to me the nicest person in town. They want a confident man. Once again, treat a beautiful girl as if she was your sister. And never care what they think about you. Don't choose words or actions that you think they will what to hear or see. Don't try to make them think you are a nice guy. Be yourself and joke around and have fun. Approach a pretty girl, smile and say, “I know you, you are the gardener.” They will be surprise at your teasing and confidence. I hope I have been helpful.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

How do you know if a girl likes you? Posted: 1/30/2007 2:31:53 AM
You will have to clue me in. Why don't girls like you? Do you have a list of reasons why not. First you have to like yourself. Then you have to be yourself with a girl. When you want to meet a girl, treat her like your kid sister. Tease her and joke around. Instead of saying, "How are you doing." Ask her a question and engage her to have a conversation. Then tease her. Maybe say, "Is that your suit case, pointing to her purse." You have to have confidence. You are the man, and she will talk to a man, not a wimpy boy. Work out a little, keep you self looking and smelling clean. Wear something other then a t-shirt. You have to know that girls like you, unless you give them a reason not to.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Are some people not ready to date but engage anyways Posted: 1/29/2007 11:32:51 PM
No, these were separate times. In each case we had good dialog and I received positive comments. I don't ask to meet someone right away. I wait until we had a few emails and came to the place where it would be appropreate to futher our communication outside emails. Who knows, unless one of them actualy told me why they stopped.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Are some people not ready to date but engage anyways Posted: 1/29/2007 11:20:45 PM
So this does happen.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Children??? Posted: 1/29/2007 9:00:36 PM
This is a topic I have considered. The issue applies to young singles and older singles equally. Typically, a young single person wants the freedom of traveling and a spontaneous lifestyle. With kids that won't happen. Additionally, a young person wants to meet someone and create their own family together. It is difficult to get into a relationship and simulate yourself into the other persons family. If the kids Father is envolved with the kids, then that can be another issue. An older person is in the same situation. Typically they want the freedom of traveling and a spontaneous lifestyle. With kids that won't happen. If you have kids and she has kids, that's a perfect match. There are sport games to attend, school functions, being a taxi service, and a whole spectrum of things parents lovingly and gladly do for their kids. If you don’t help with the family’s daily routine, then you will see your spouse worn out and needing her alone space. Then you will think she has no time for you and that she cares more for the kid then you. Then the question arises, is the child an infant or a teenager. I would think having a few years with a child might be different then having many years raising a child. After saying all that, I would date a person with a child. I have no children at home and live a lone. I am a family man at heart and love kids. Would I marry someone who had kids? The answer is yes. If I loved that person, I will except their kids, and everything else about her. By definition, a friend is someone who knows everything about you and still likes you. I would trust she would be my friend and I hers. Please know, you have to be really emotional, mentally, and socially mature to enter into a family relationship. Even if a person says they are ready, don’t make them ready.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Are some people not ready to date but engage anyways Posted: 1/29/2007 1:18:16 PM
Exactly the way I am thinking. Meeting someone is the ultimate analysis in the matching process. You never know unless you meet. A simple coffee shop would seem appropriate.

lookinginfresno

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Are some people not ready to date but engage anyways Posted: 1/28/2007 8:06:45 PM
I had four separate writing encounters where I had great dialog with nice individuals. After several emails of introducing ourselves and getting to know each other, I request we visit in person. I always choose a quiet coffee house that is non-threatening. In all four cases they state they look forward to meeting me. One person even mentioned she was about to request a meeting herself. Anyway, soon afterwards, I receive an email stating that they can't meet me. One person said she had a busy week and can't make it. One person said her Mom was getting married and she was going to be busy all week. Another person states she can’t meet me because she has to travel out of town to visit a sick friend. One person stood me up and wrote how sorry she was and that she would meet me next week. In each case I write back and state I understand and request another meeting at there convenience. Then I never hear from them again. In each case we had such great dialogs. We hadgood email relationship where we got to know each other. We all had pictures posted. Are these people not ready to date but go though the motions of securing a meeting anyways? Or, am I missing something?

Show ALL Forums