online dating service
REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

 

     
Posted In Forum:
Home   login   MyForums  
Show ALL Forums  
 
 Author Thread: It's BEEN over. So why is he taunting me?
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
It's BEEN over. So why is he taunting me?
Posted: 11/29/2008 7:43:21 PM
It really is disgusting to me how people use their children to get what they want, or to make their self happy.

How, exactly, does
Cut him off till he reforms himself into not being such a jerk.
put the child's best interest in mind? It doesn't. It's a selfish mother using her child because she doesn't know how to get over her stupid petty fixation on the things she can't control. That's just disgusting.

He is in no way affecting the child's well-being by having his girlfriend pick the kid up. If it's a big deal, just talk to the school and say you only want dad to pick up the boy. Problem solved.

Cutting the child's ties with their parent because you don't like him, is only going to damage the kid.

These are the kind of terrible mothers who bad-mouth their ex's to the kids, so they have twisted views of what it means to be family, and what kind of person their parent is.

You should be ashamed of yourself for being the kind of person who thinks that sort of behaviour is okay.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
It's BEEN over. So why is he taunting me?
Posted: 11/29/2008 5:29:42 AM
I really wanted to say that the problem was the mother thinking that "full custody" means "full control over everything to do with my child and his relationships" but it appears that's been covered.

The fact of the matter is that he's really not doing anything awful. Most children, at some point, stay at a social family event past bedtime. I think you should be thankful that he has a girlfriend who is taking an interest in your son, as opposed to someone who wants to date him, and not be interfered with, by the child.

He's not being neglected, he's not being beaten. He's not under psychological stress because of this.

Really, you're the only one who is affected by it, so you need to get over your problems with the situation, because as someone else stated, he's only going to get a kick out of you being all tied in knots about something that has nothing to do with you. He could probably care less about what you think, which would be why you're no longer together ;)
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
i here ladys speak of guys they like all the time...
Posted: 11/27/2008 9:09:45 PM
Oh boy...

They aren't at all attracted to you, and are too polite to tell you so. The reason you're always the friend and never the boyfriend is because they have no romantic feelings for you whatsoever. It's nothing you're doing, or not doing, saying or not saying. You just aren't attractive to them. If you did anything to change that, you'd risk losing the good qualities for yourself, and you'd be lying to them and you.

It sucks when you're attracted to someone and they have purely platonic feelings for you, but instead of trying to analyze it and figure out what your problem is, how to get out of friend zone, etc. you just need to realise there's nothing you can do. You're their friend and as much as you wish otherwise, it's probably not going to change.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
i here ladys speak of guys they like all the time...
Posted: 11/26/2008 12:09:42 PM

I talk about you to all the guys I know.


I was hoping i'd be the first to give that answer. lol. Great minds.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
arabs, indians, pakistanis and all. Are we disadvantaged ?
Posted: 11/23/2008 1:55:09 PM
Okay, i'm going to chime in and chances are people are not going to like what I have to say.

I think culture has a lot to do with it. I know several people of a certain culture who value women very little, and they value their self way too much.

Since I was raised with a ton of privileges most people don't have, in a culture where women are equals, and can do anything a man can (Their role in the family, in relationships, as a provider, etc. is equal to that of the man, and it's not outlandish for it to be more than that of a man.) I wouldn't be able to be thought of as anything less than an equal. That's me personally, and i'm sure many people from my neck of the woods.

It's honestly not a skin colour thing. It's a case of two people from different worlds. I mean, it's like the language barrier. How can you have a connection with someone, when everything you do is motivated by that moral and cultural background that is so very different than theirs?

I agree with the woman as well who said something about being Canadian/American born. I know Canadians of middle Eastern decent who lead a very Christian American lifestyle, because of the...Christian influence in America. I can certainly see myself connecting with someone of that nature, but someone born and raised in another country, who has learned their values and culture would be difficult for me to relate to.

Over all, it's certainly not a skin colour thing, so much as a cultural thing. Unfortunately though, lots of people assume that one person that they meet who is all kinds of wrong encompasses an entire "race" of people. It happens with all people, though. That's just prejudice and we all fall victim to it.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Just when i think i got it figured out
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:34:09 PM
That definitely read like a 16 year old wrote it...but on to the question:

If you want a committed relationship, it's not wrong for you to tell her you want a committed relationship. If you just want to fvck her and don't care about the fact that A) she's going home to someone else she actually cares for and B) You're more than likely going to get beat down for messing around with another person's lover, then continue to talk to her.

Personally, if someone had that little respect for me, that they would manipulate me to get involved in that drama, I would not only have zero attraction to them, but i'd break ties with them as a friend as well. What kind of person does that?

Move on. Or don't. Seems like you'll eventually get involved with it anyway, being that you said to wait and see what happens with her and her boyfriend. You told her you're willing to wait around in the wings until she feels like being with you. Honestly...think about that...you're willing to wait to be with somebody who has told you (through their actions) that they don't respect you, or care for your feelings. What's to gain by putting yourself in that situation?

A cheater is a cheater, and even on the off chance that you end up in an actual relationship with her, she's shown how much respect she has for the people she's with. Run for the hills, dude!
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
As a student, is my financial situation important?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:13:16 PM
Completely and totally disagree with nocatchy, which is a rare thing.

It is a hobby, but one that pays the bills. Obviously you are not completely dedicated to playing poker or else I don't imagine you'd be wasting the time and money to go to school.

Would I be worried if someone spent all of their time throwing money away on the game? Yeah. It seems to me though, that you have other aspirations so it isn't a lie to say you play for fun and the extra cash, if you ask me.

Honestly, I suppose it depends on how you see it. Seems to me like you have a goal of being a writer, and poker is a stepping stone to that dream as well as a fun pass-time while you're working toward it. If that's the truth, there's nothing wrong with saying that.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
As a student, is my financial situation important?
Posted: 11/6/2008 7:30:26 PM
I'd put poker as an interest, and make a point that you play for fun (and sometimes get lucky and have a few extra bucks)

That way you might not get as many people that go "oh yeah, gambling problem" because I know that there are a lot of people out there who think people who play a lot of poker have gambling problems. (I work in finance so am well aware it is true on occasion.)

Anyway, if you're going out with a woman who has a problem with a guy who is furthering his education, you're going out with the wrong kind of girls :)

Aww. And you're so cute! English and Journalism...nice choice! :)
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What does this mean?
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:05:49 PM

Um, ask her?

"Hey, we went out for coffee and I had a great time. You seemed kinda bored though. Did I get the wrong impression?"


DING DING DING! There's your answer...ask her. ha.

Honestly though, I yawn a lot. I don't think i've ever yawned when bored though. I also fiddle with my phone a lot, all the time. I don't have a reason for looking at it, I just do. Could just be a nervous habit checking her watch?

Maybe she is following some rule where you can't contact the person for a certain amount of days? Girls can be stupid about stuff like that.

I don't think she has someone else, to be honest. I don't think she is trying to be a jerk. I think she is probably legit.

Side note: this scenario reminds me of a certain episode of SATC where Big is like "She can reach me, but I can't get her. She can reach me, but I can't get her. EVER."
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 123 (view)
 
Smoking, how brainwashed are you?
Posted: 11/5/2008 5:32:45 PM
Oh and Congrats on kicking the habit, keep it up :)
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Smoking, how brainwashed are you?
Posted: 11/5/2008 5:32:24 PM
Yeah, I do get your point, and I suppose the smokers can find something to complain about the non-smokers doing, that pollutes their air or something.

I just think it has to be about respect. I think that the laws are starting to force smokers to be respectful, for the most part. I used to hate going to restaurants and not being able to breathe because the smoke was so thick. That's nasty when i'm eating.

Where I come from, you aren't actually "allowed" to smoke within (I think it's) 15 metres of any entrance to any public building.

While I was going through my treatments at the cancer centre, they re-zoned the "smoking areas" putting up those heated shelters and stuff at 5 different sides of the hospital campus, and everyday, without fail there was some ***hole there lighting up the second they got out the door, blowing it in the faces of those leaving. Kind of ironic actually.

But do you, el_mariachi think that the idea of having "smoking zones" is offensive or unfair to smokers? I find many smokers feel entitled to subject people to it anywhere and everywhere. Though I rarely say something to people (aside from my dad who smokes cigars around me and I say "Hey, remember how I had cancer this year?") the general attitude of smokers as a group, seems to be "fvck you, i'll do whatever I want" (Yeah, I said that's how they come off as a group, and I realise there are exceptions.)
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Smoking, how brainwashed are you?
Posted: 11/4/2008 8:34:35 AM
Okay, so i'm going to admit that I didn't read all 5 pages.

I think, compleat man that you have good points, but they're always going to be falling on deaf ears, unfortunately.

I don't particularly care much about people that smoke, but it's those that think it's okay to subject everyone else to the second hand smoke that bug me. Yeah you can tell me don't go where people are smoking, but why should it be me who has to compromise my day for someone else's habit, you know? It's like saying that heroin addicts should be allowed to shoot up wherever they want, and if people don't like stepping on their syringes, then they shouldn't be walking in public.

It's absurd. I shouldn't be forced to damage my body for someone else's convenience to smoke right at the dinner table (which is disgusting, by the way.)

It's especially frustrating to me, because I have already survived cancer. All of these people so gung ho about their habit who say that cancer isn't a guarantee and it's a risk they're willing to take have NO FREAKING IDEA what it is that they're saying. I don't care if they choose to take the risk, because they knew what they were getting into when they smoked,(i would never wish cancer on my worst enemy though) but it's the second hand smoke inhalation that could potentially kill the younger generation out there (my generation) that people should feel like shit about.

I'm 23 years old. Less than a year ago, I felt my brain shutting down bit by bit. I felt myself having seizures, and slipping into a coma. I felt myself dying. That's not right, and people should be a little more compassionate. Smoke 100 packs a day for all I care, but at least be respectful to how it affects the world around you. :)
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Guy approaching you when you're with a friend?
Posted: 11/4/2008 8:06:00 AM
Wow...what the heck?

I love how smiling at a person means that you're romantically interested in them now. If a person is looking at me, and I don't know them, i'll always flash a big smile at them. It rarely means i'm romantically interested in them. When I pass an old person walking, i'll flash them a smile and say good morning. I mean honestly, is this what it's come down to? Are people so desperate that they interpret simple smiles as something?

Anyway, to address the original question...why would it bother a girl to have someone from her class introduce himself with her friend there? Is there something about an introduction that i'm missing...does it involve making out or something, now? "Hi my name is Bill" is hardly something that i'd be uncomfortable with my friend hearing. I don't quite understand why it would even be thought of as an issue.

Are you planning on asking her out at the same time? Even still, I don't understand why it would make her uncomfortable to have her friend there. Apparently I am the only one, but I don't understand why it'd be a problem at all.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Psychic readings as assistance in relationship?
Posted: 11/4/2008 7:57:00 AM

Do you think if they can explain a person’s intentions clearly with a high accuracy it can help? Does anyone else has that assitance and finds it helpful?

Yes.
Well ... according to my Magic 8 Ball it is.


bahaha! I think that just made my morning.

So I have to say that the wording of the original question is a bit deceiving. Are we being asked if we believe in psychics or if we believe that if a person can read another, it's helpful because yeah...observing someone's social behaviour is helpful.

I'm also with the chick who said that psychologists and psychics are different. I think if your brother doesn't know the difference, then he is probably in trouble. Not to mention I don't think a psychologist would waste his time with the average joe interpreting someone else's body language...

I think that the idea of psychics is nice, but would I pay someone to tell me that the love of my life is at the airport? Please. haha.

People want to be reassured. They want someone to tell them there is love out there for them. They want to connect to that deceased family member, they want to be told that they're getting a promotion. Psychics just exploit this, and make you believe it's all true, and take your money in the process. If you ask me your brother is a sucker because every person is capable of analyzing others intentions...that's like a huge part of dating, mate.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Not doing the same thing every guy has ever done
Posted: 11/4/2008 7:34:59 AM
I honestly don't see a problem with his profile...did he change it since the OP?

I don't think he's being phoney either, but I agree with those who said he seems to be trying a little too hard.

The best intellectuals are the ones who don't try to shove it in your face. That's my humble opinion anyway. I think that striving to be a writer is fine. Loving poetry and philosophy is fine, but don't claim you march to the beat of your own drum because of these things. I have a degree in philosophy and two novels under my belt, but I don't think it makes me some obscure intellectual that is so different and quirky.

By defining yourself like that, you come off as arrogant. Perhaps the brick wall that you hit is caused by people reading you as exactly that. I don't know how many times i've come across supposed "creative thinkers" on this site, and in real life, who start talking, and I immediately have nothing to say to them, because they are just trying too hard. Why do brilliant people think that they need to be dark and different all the time?

So the problem is that in trying not to be like every other guy, you kind of are like every other guy who tries too hard. It's a curse. People think so much about how they want people to see them, that they lose what people actually find charming about them.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why can't immature jokes be fun?
Posted: 9/28/2008 1:53:00 PM
Trying to top someone else's joke is rarely funny. Usually the people who do that are the people who are trying really hard to be funny, and need to ride the coat-tails of other people's funny to even get close.

Yeah you know what, I can have a pretty silly/immature sense of humour sometimes, but I also roll my eyes and groan at certain comments.

I find sexual "humour" very humourless most of the time, so yeah, I wouldn't appreciate that in a guy, I don't think.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
are you happy with the Leafs offseason so far?
Posted: 9/24/2008 11:36:28 AM
I thought Moore showed that he was a wise acquisition last season. He definitely will have more of a chance to shine as a player and as a leader for this young team, this year. I think a lot of guys sort of faded into the background with Mats, Tucker and (ick) Caber on the bench.

I also think that Blake will have a chance to shine again this year as well. He was just snake-bitten last year, and I think he had a hard time finding a place for himself with all of the veteran Leafs on the bench. Hopefully he can find a spot and show us that he belongs in a Blue and White jersey, this year.

I think Deveraux will definitely be a prominent guy on the team, and noticed he is wearing the "A" for the pre-season. I do like him quite a bit as well.

It's always hard to lose the big names that everyone knows, and come back with names that (unfortunately) many fans aren't aware of. I hate to say that many hockey fans, and Leafs fans don't follow the farm teams and don't know who has been working their way to this.

I don't think Pogs is quite ready yet, but it was awesome to see him out there! His glove is nowhere near as quick as Toskala's and it's definitely noticable. Cujo...well...it'll be fun to have him back!

You know, I am confident that this group of guys will do quite well this year. I put them 6th in the East in my pool, so here's hoping!
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
If a girl asks about what parents do on a date
Posted: 9/22/2008 6:47:36 AM
Nobody has mentioned yet that this woman, if she met you on a dating site couldn't possibly know anything about your family's financial situation, and i'm sure you already told her about your own job, so she would know you were a middle class kind of guy. No professional gold-digger would go after a guy on the off-chance that his parents might be rich! Come on!

Honestly, the first thing I thought was that this was a bit of an attention-seeking thread. I didn't think anybody in their right mind would honestly believe that that sort of conversation meant anything other than a conversation of sheer curiousity, but apparently we are taking this seriously, so my advice:

Get over it. I can say in complete honesty, that if you are meeting women for the first time, they aren't going to decide whether or not to date you based on what your parents do. If they are going on a date with you, it's because they want to go on a date with you, not so they can assess the likelihood of you coming in to money. I mean come on! That's the most horrible accusation you could make about a woman who just wanted to get to know you.

Until you get over thinking that people want to know about your life and your family because they want to know whether you're rich, I don't think you'll have much luck. I certainly hope that the woman who had that conversation with you doesn't forum, because she probably won't be calling you if she ever reads what you were thinking about the conversation.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Love to be loved??
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:25:31 PM

I think knowing you are loved by some chick feeds your 'id', or ego...it makes you feel important and wanted.


The Id and Ego are two different facets of the personality, Dr.Freud.

I don't think that love is a basic carnal desire, so it wouldn't really fit into the category of Id. I think you are thinking the modern definition of Ego.

To answer what I think was the question...

I honestly think that a lot of people are in love with being in love. That's where you find the chronic daters, who never commit, because they like the original feelings of butterflies, etc that they get when they first start to have feelings for someone.

I have a friend who can paint wonderful pictures of the future for women, and they swoon. They think they're in love with him, but really they're in love with the idea of the love he is describing, which of course isn't real.

How many women out there think about their future, once they find "the one"? Think about whether you're dreaming about how wonderful it will be to have him there, or how wonderful he is?

I'm not trying to be a party pooper, but I think most people love to be loved, more than they just...love. Myself, included.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
caught my bro with his gf
Posted: 8/20/2008 7:25:20 AM
I have a sister who is fifteen. I know that she tells me everything, and I am often the one encouraging her to go out to a party with her friends, or go out with the boy she likes, etc when she is too shy or worried about what my parents will say. I was always very trusted by my parents, and never got into trouble, as I was responsible, but did all of the things I wanted to as a kid. I sort of coach her on being a teenager.

I know that when she decides to have sex, she will tell me, but I know it is something I don't have to worry about for a while. I know that she thinks it's wrong at her young age, and she even broke up with a boyfriend saying "I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, but I am not going to do that." She has learned to be very confident.

Anyway, the point I was going to make is that, if it were me...if I were to walk in on my baby sister having sex...I would absolutely tell my parents and the young man's parents so everyone was aware of what was happening. It wouldn't break the trust that she has with me, because she understands my responsibility to do what's best for her. It's one thing to be embarassed to be caught by me, but to have to face our parents everyday knowing that they know would be enough to scare her off sex until she is 30. She is a young woman, so that's the difference I think, but to all those people saying that telling parents is the wrong solution, I disagree.

If it were my sister, I know that telling my parents would be a necessary solution to the problem. She isn't an idiot. She is a young lady. She is 15 years old and smarter than most 25 year olds. She knows the consqeuences of having sex, she knows the risks involved. She has had all of the lectures. She has seen my older sister suffer for her mistakes with unprotected sex. She knows. But just because we know the facts and the information, doesn't mean we think about them or use the information when our hormones are in control. Sitting down and having a "serious talk" with a 14 or 15 year old who has most likely already heard it all, might scare them into abstaining, but it might also do absolutely nothing. If it were me, i'd get the parents involved.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Movie Quotes
Posted: 8/20/2008 7:07:08 AM

I have this friend, a jazz musician, trumpet player. I go and hear him jam every month or so. He plays this piece I love, an old Chet Baker tune. Every time he plays the same notes, and everytime it sounds different. One night we were having drinks, when I used to drink, and I tried telling him how that song made me feel, how his playing made me feel, how the notes made me feel. My friend shook his head and said, Joan, you can't talk about music. Talking about music is like dancing about archictecture. So I said, alright, well if you're gonna get all philosophical on me, its just as pointless as talking about a lot of things. Love for instance. My friend laughed and said, You can't talk about love. Talking about love is like dancing about archictecture. So I don't know, he might be right. But it ain't gonna stop me from trying.


Joan (Angelina Jolie) in Playing by Heart. Ultimate chick-flick for those who haven't seen it.


You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.


Paul (George Peppard) in Breakfast at Tiffany's


Dan: Didn't fancy my sandwiches?
Alice: Don't eat fish.
Dan: Why not?
Alice: Fish piss in the sea.
Dan: So do children.
Alice: I don't eat children either


Jude Law and the lovely Natalie Portman in my favourite movie, Closer.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why do girls do this...?
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:10:14 PM
As usual, nocatchy pretty much got it right.

Some women need constant reassurance. They need to always feel like they are loved. They go crazy without that sort of attention in their lives. So, when things aren't going entirely the way they would hope, they go back to their "Bob" who really does love them, and will always be right there waiting to tell them that.

It's sad, but when there are men like Bob, girls like Katie will totally take advantage of it. I think the best possible thing that could happen for everyone involved, is for Bob to move on. I mean, sure he is "doing his thing" and all that, but if he is there to answer the phone and tell Kate he loves her, when she calls...he is still not over it.

When Bob gets over it, Kate will have to as well...or at least find someone other than Bob to stroke her ego for her.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
delayed interest = cold sholder?
Posted: 8/13/2008 7:21:03 PM
Yeah, I am not too sure about this, either. Personally, if I were in her shoes, I would find it beyond creepy that some guy I worked with for one day came back looking for me months later to ask me out.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 150 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:09:08 AM

i am wondering if the ladies that do put on a ring to ward off men would be offended if a man hit on them anyways.as we have seen on in this post,just because your weraring one,doesnt mean you are married for a variety of reasons. it is just jewelry.


You already asked me that question personally, passionandsong, and I gave you an answer. I said that personally, it wouldn't offend me if someone hit on me and I was wearing a ring. Men hit on women all the time, regardless of their jewelry. I'd just send him on his way politely.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 141 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/7/2008 7:51:04 AM

lucretia.when a man come up tp talk to you making advances for a possible date,you do not get offended that he is doing so whilst you are wearing a piece of jewelry on that finger right? it is a piece of jewelry so there need not be any animosity towards him.


IF a man hit on me while I was wearing any form of jewellry I would not get offended. Since when is it offensive to get hit on? If I were married, I would tell him so. If I were not, and not interested I would tell him so.

Your attempts to derail anything here are confusing to me, because the admition that I wouldn't be offended by being hit on if I were wearing a ring, in no way refutes any argument that has been made.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 138 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/6/2008 10:08:09 PM
Oh my God...you have got to be kidding me...


Despite Canada being one of the countries that's part of North America, when someone uses the term "American", they aren't speaking of Canadians; it's a term commonly applied to those who live in the United States. If a Canadian wants to call themselves American, they would be technically correct, but in the definition that the word is commonly understood by, they would be incorrect. Are you really going to stick your counterargument on this as one of its pillars?


I do not recall referring to myself as an American, and I can assure you that unless something really truly life-changing happens, I never will. Perhaps, before trying to patronize me with your condescending "education" you should have taken into the consideration that you did refer to women of "many other civilized countries" in your previous post as well, and clearly Canada, and Canadian women fall in to that category.


I understand your logic in saying that the woman who wears a ring to ward off guys is doing it knowing that they will assume that she is married. That is a fair comment to make. You are dead wrong in calling a person a liar for wearing a piece of jewelry though. Think of how absurd you sound, saying that. It's like calling a person a liar for wearing a certain pair of shoes, because you think that those shoes can only be worn in the fall, but it's summer, and they are therefore lying about the time of year. Come on...


I think you're attempting to extracontextualize in order to prove your point, which would invalidate the attempt to begin with. A person is not a liar for wearing a piece of jewelry. A person is a liar if they're wearing a piece of jewelry for the purpose of warding off unwanted attention, the conclusion of the item's ability to do so based on the understanding that others are going to commonly interpret the jewelry's presence as having a particular meaning. So wearing a ring does not make someone a liar; wearing a ring on the wedding finger for the purposes of warding off unwanted attention does make someone a liar if they aren't in fact engaged or married. You can't cherrypick here; you have to take the statements in the context in which they were given.


haha. You misunderstand me. Just because I said I can understand your logic in saying that they would be wearing it knowing which assumptions would be made, in no way means that I agree with your point that they are liars. Hence why my very next sentence was that I thought you were dead wrong for implying that they were lying. As for the cherry picking...I can do whatever I want, you see. I can say that yes, your logic is fair in saying that most women are aware of what they are implying when wearing a ring, but it in no way makes them a liar. You don't like it...tough. :)


So you think it's all right to lie to protect your personal safety? Not a choice I'd make, but I think honesty is important enough to potentially die for if necessary.


No. I do not lie. Just because you think that me wearing a piece of jewellry is a lie, does not make me a liar. That is what you are not understanding. Because you think someone you do not know, who has not said a word to you, is a liar because of their jewellry does not mean it is universal fact. You can try to shoot down my individual statements, but it doesn't change the fact that your entire argument is based on a twisted personal belief that I assure you is only carried by a very small percentage.

I guess it would be wrong of me to say that if you think honesty is so important and you are willing to die for it in that case, then you can get raped and stalked and potentially killed for it, (I'll have the police send him your way...) but I am much more comfortable listening to people like you call me a liar, when most sane intelligent people know that no lie was told, and I get to go on with my life, being applauded for not letting someone rape and kill me.


Funny, though: if an authority figure tells someone to lie in order to provide some sort of protection in other scenarios, this can often lead to lawsuits on the basis of "obstruction of justice" or "conspiracy to commit" same. Am I saying that's what you did? Nope. But the concept seems to come dangerously close...


Yeah, telling a scared hurt girl who is terrified for her life to wear a piece of jewellry is definitely hand in hand with such crimes as obstruction of justice. Your desire to "prove" a point, which you have nothing (not personal experience nor anything more than a "because I said so") to back, is getting a little pathetic now. I understand you want to be dramatic about the topic at hand, but now you are pushing it much too far.


So why, then, are you once again bringing me into it 2 pages after you posted this? Are you really so unable to follow through with your own assertions?


Do not flatter yourself. It has nothing to do with you personally (I resisted all urges to type out my first reaction to your post) as I felt it was before. It is about your absolutely ridiculous opinion.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:31:53 PM

if you're an American woman (and in fact a woman from many other civilized countries), you know full well what wearing a gold band or a diamond ring on your left ring finger means.


I know full well as a Canadian woman what it means to me, and it clearly means something different to you. It is incredibly presumptuous of you to assume that because someone lives in North America they therefore must support your view on wearing a ring on your left hand ring finger, and attach the same meaning to it, that you do. I realize that you are absolutely unwilling to consider the fact that your belief is not the only one, and your opinion is not law, but surely you must realize that in this case it is incredibly ballsy of you to say that American women know what wearing a ring on the left ring finger means to you personally.

I understand your logic in saying that the woman who wears a ring to ward off guys is doing it knowing that they will assume that she is married. That is a fair comment to make. You are dead wrong in calling a person a liar for wearing a piece of jewelry though. Think of how absurd you sound, saying that. It's like calling a person a liar for wearing a certain pair of shoes, because you think that those shoes can only be worn in the fall, but it's summer, and they are therefore lying about the time of year. Come on...


a greater concept bordering on the absolute is at work here: if you are deceiving, you are lying, if you are a liar, you are doing that which is "not good". If a woman is fine with lying about that, for most men there's going to be nothing to indicate to them that the woman won't be fine with lying about other things, and the man passes her by.


Most men being you, right? Your opinion is the one and only opinion, in this matter, after all, isn't it? See, for most men to feel this way about the issue, most men would have to agree that a complete stranger is lying to them without ever opening their mouth, and I highly doubt that they will...if they do, I highly doubt that they really will put that much weight on the situation, being that she is a stranger.


More to the point, if you're waiting for a man "bold" enough to walk up and ask if you're married, ask yourself what he's doing approaching a woman wearing a ring on that particular finger.


I might be mistaken, but I do not think any woman who said she wears a ring to ward off men said that she was going to continue wearing it and hope that someone "bold enough" would come and sweep her off her feet. If she is trying to ward off men, she is trying to get rid of all of them, usually.


No matter how you slice that, it results in a woman who no sensible, intelligent, mature man should want anything to do with.


I think you think of yourself as all of these things, when in reality your inability to understand any opinion outside of your own negates most of the good qualities any woman might see in you. When you make this statement you are speaking for yourself and only yourself. You stand alone, amigo, and your dramatic interpretation of jewellry, and inability to accept anything outside of your own realm is making you look pretty unattractive while you do it.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/6/2008 4:13:33 PM
So first thing's first:

When i was being stalked by someone and was in danger, and the police told me to wear a ring...that was not a good reason? I mean, I think my personal safety is a damn good reason to let somebody think that I am married. You men wouldn't understand that though, because it doesn't fit with the whole women being evil manipulative liars thing.

And to address the reply to my previous post, no I could honestly care less if a man thought I was unattractive without makeup on. As another wise lady stated, it's not a freaking mask that magically makes us a 10, when we are in reality at 3. It's freaking makeup. It enhances what is already there. If I have terrible acne, makeup isn't going to make it vanish. It doesn't work miracles for crying out loud. (I don't have terrible acne...I am just saying for example.) It might make my eyes sparkle a bit, since I only really use eye liner anyway, but that is about all it does for me.

I also don't care if a man thinks I am unattractive because he sees me on my way to the gym and I am wearing sweats. This is a part of my daily life, and you know what? If he can't handle seeing me without makeup (which is 99% of the time) or wearing gym clothes (which is for a couple hours a day every single day) then he is not somebody I want to wake up to anyway. If he is so ignorant as to think that when I am not wearing gym clothes, and am wearing makeup that I am somehow misrepresenting myself, I definitely do not want anything to do with him.


i agree with you 100%. the fact that you have a ring on your wedding finger certainly doesnt mean your married. so i certainly wont look down upon someone who hits on me when i have a ring on my wedding ring finger.


Oh, and in response to that...you know that has nothing at all to do with what the quoted paragraph said, right? I was saying that I am not somehow being someone other than myself, because I am wearing a ring. I am still me. The way I am all the time. You think that because I have a ring on, it means that I am adopting some "married person" personality and lying about myself and who I am. I think that is a foolish thing to say. Whether you get hit on with a ring on, or you feel like making a sarcastic remark about what the ring MEANS is beside the point I was making, which is that a piece of jewelry doesn't alter someone's personality.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:54:49 AM
First thing's first:


Silentman73 you can't have a logical debate with a woman.

I agree completely. I have read all his posts and cannot find one shred of logic in any of them.


I heart you Shadow. I really do. haha.

Secondly...


i think if you asked most people how they wished people would represent themselves they would say"as exactly who they are." if you are o.k with your own misrepresentations, try to be considerate of other peoples.


For the record, I did not adopt a new identity when I wore a ring on my left ring finger. I was still representing myself as "exactly who I am" I always do. Your interpretation of that ring is what is painting me as something I am not, though I carry myself the same way everyday, ring or no ring. You are creating the misrepresentation in your own mind, so I am absolutely okay with that. At the end of the day, if you think I am a liar or pretending to be someone else, I really haven't lost any opportunities i'd be interested in by having jewelry.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:49:07 PM

stopped quoting you right there for a reason: you've shown yourself unable to have an intelligent, logical debate when your very first response resorts to an attempted character assassination


Actually, if you want to get specific, my first response was to say that I wore a ring for some time in memory of my grandmother, which was an answer to the original response.

My second response was directed to you, asking if that scenario made me a liar or you a fool. It was worded in question format, so again, technically it was a question. haha. If you interpreted it as a "character assassination" that would just be you interpreting things in your way, and judging others on it again. You really do enjoy that, don't you?

Lastly, the irony of it is that you have stated several times now that women who wear a ring when they are not married are liars. You weren't asking, implying, or ****-footing around it. You flat out called strangers that you know nothing about, a name because of your own twisted belief. I think deliberately and repeatedly calling someone you know nothing about a hurtful name, is one of the clearest forms of character assassination. Very mature of you, by the way.

Anyway, I am not making this about you anymore. I answered the question, and made the mistake of letting some stranger with a twisted view calling me a liar, get to me. I have said my piece, now.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Why wear a ring when your not married?
Posted: 8/4/2008 6:10:54 PM
When my grandmother died, I wore her wedding band on my finger for five years, before putting it away. It represented her, not a marriage, nor a commitment to a man. Does that make me a liar, Silentman, or does it make you a narrow-minded fool for not realizing that your interpretation of a certain style of ring on a certain finger isn't always correct?

As it has been previously stated, the wearing of a ring on your left hand to represent a commitment is a cultural thing, not a global law of some sort. Just because it is your belief does not mean that it has to be mine, or that of anyone else you might come across. I think this belief is, as someone else said "self-destructive" You say a woman who wears a ring on her ring finger and isn't married is a liar that you wouldn't want to be with anyway, and I say that your attitude and inability to fathom any other reason a woman might be wearing a piece of jewelry makes you both a harsh judgemental and perhaps eternally single.

Some women wear a ring to fend off unwanted attention. There is nothing wrong with this. It isn't a lie. To say the words "I am married/engaged" when one is not...THAT is a lie. To wear a ring on a certain finger, and allow men to take it for what they will....there is no lie in that. She hasn't said anything untrue to anyone. If you think that is the only instance in which a woman wearing a ring is a liar, then how do you distinguish? Perhaps you ask. Oh, but then you wouldn't be able to jump to conclusions about people without even speaking a word to them. That might be tough for you.

The bottom line is that you really have no idea of the circumstance, and by claiming a woman who wears a ring on a certain finger is in some way dishonest, it makes me really sad for single people everywhere. If people were not so freaking quick to associate their own beliefs with others, and judge them for it, there would be a lot less single people out there.

For the record, I have worn a ring to fend off a stalker I had. It was a suggestion by the police, when I first filed a report. I suppose the police are liars as well for helping me protect myself in such a way. I think you should consider the fact that not all women who are wearing a ring on their ring finger are liars, nor are they ****es who don't want any male attention, and are thus shooting them selves in the foot. there are sometimes sentimental reasons, and safety reasons.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Is there ever a reason not to pursue a girl?
Posted: 7/29/2008 8:04:05 PM

BUT, their interpretation of this book tells them that their needs are perfectly reasonable, that they are simply what they DESERVE, because they are truly, sublimely wonderful examples of womanhood, and any man who was really into her would satisfy those needs. Well then, no wonder it's a best seller!


Yes, perhaps you're right. I agree that some women have elabroate white knight fantasies about some hero of a man coming and sweeping her off her feet, whisking her away to a life of glitzy parties, shopping at Gucci and fantastic mind blowing sex, like it always is in the movies. Realistically, it ain't gonna happen...we know that. I think most women know that. Just like a man can fantasize about a gorgeous, athletic woman with huge knockers, and a tight butt, who is a sex fiend and loves sports and doesn't want to rush any commitment to come along, women can still maintain an unrealistic fantasy.

The problem would be if they actually relied on it, and rejected men because they didn't fit the fantasy. I don't think that really happens as much as men like to think it does. Honestly, of course i'd love a guy who is out of my league at the 8-10 on the attractiveness scale, works a prosperous job, is secure in his life and wants to commit, but realistically, that chubby guy who works an average job and spends weekends watching football on tv in his bachelor appartment is probably going to be the perfect one for me.

I think that while the author of the aforementioned novel does go on to women telling them how "worth it" they are, and encouraging them to kick those guys (who are obviously not into us but whom the author says are unworthy for not being "into us") to the curb, it's not about supporting unrealistic expectations. He's inadvertantly telling women to stop dwelling on something that is never going to happen, and makes them look desperate and sad. He hides it behind the sugar-coated ego petting, that women sadly have misinterpreted as some uplifting powerful woman a la SATC BS. They eat it like candy, because, like you said, it's telling them (they THINK) what they want to hear. That the world is against them, and they are so great. Yeah, no wonder it's a bestseller...it encourages everything that women do wrong in relationships, in an attempt to quash it.

The brainwashing works both ways and both genders are quite guilty of unrealistic expectations

I don't think that's entirely relevant to the point. It's a great response from someone who feels a bit burned or attacked by a comment. (It should almost be a fill in the blank form response when someone criticizes a gender or group: "Well [insert other group here] are like that too, it's not just women/single people/parents/coloured people/pedophiles! (hah)")

The thing is it in no way refutes or expands upon what has been said. Perhaps if you had an opinion on the topic or a genuine rebuttal to a point made, it would be a bit more meaningful? The "i'm rubber you're glue" response gets a little old, after a while.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Is there ever a reason not to pursue a girl?
Posted: 7/29/2008 11:40:14 AM
Okay, here's the thing about that book...I think it's obvious that very few people posting here actually read it and those that did, may have misinterpreted it.

It's not about a guy not putting in effort, and therefore ending up "just not that into you." it's about women who obsesss and fawn over men who have little interest in them.

I think it's funny that women have even managed to spin that novel...which should turn a big light bulb on over their heads about the way they behave, into another pile of steaming feminist crap. It's not pro-women, if you ask me. It's against almost everything that the average modern woman is.

The author, in his own clever little way, was telling women to grow the hell up and stop obsessing over 'why didn't he call?' 'why won't he commit?' crap, to realize that as an adult there are people that want you and people that don't. You can't force people to like you, by being stupid clingy and stuff.

The author says, "he's just not that into you if he's married." "he's just not that into you if he moves away." "he's just not that into you if he has a date with another woman." "he's just not that into you if he disappears." It really is a slap in the face to every whiny woman who sits around and mulls over some guy that has no interest in her. Not at all to the men who "don't put any effort in."

At least...that's what I got from it. But when I read it, I wasn't a desperate single 30 or 40 something looking for any excuse to validate my lonliness, without accepting any personal blame.

If you ask me, the man is a genius. He slaps an entire generation of whiny single women in the face, and will probably never have a problem getting laid for the rest of his life, because they think that he's helping them by putting blame on some guy for not putting any effort in, and telling them how "worth it" they are. He's made himself into the perpetual nice guy, when really he thinks the same as many men. Women...if they really want to be with someone, need to stop being so freaking clingy and whiny!

Of course, they've spun the book into the same thing that Oprah did, and SATC fans did...another uplifting, feministic piece of garbage, that all of those single women who actually relate themselves to the fictional extremes represented in SATC will pay good money to fill their heads with.

I personally, will not be seeing it. hehe
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Does it matter I had cancer in the past?
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:10:17 PM
I hate to do this in a public forum. I would rather e-mail you, which I tried to do from the start, so it didn't seem as though I was attacking you for all to see, and since it's so very off-topic.

I think it's great that you think you're too caring and so compassionate, etc. etc. I mean really...good for you. If you chose to dedicate your life for caring for complete strangers and cared so much that it took an emotional toll on you, congrats. Very few people give anything to anyone.

The problem I have isn't with your opinion, it's with your wording. Perhaps you don't realize how incredibly selfish and insensitive it is to say that you "wouldn't want to put yourself through it". It's one thing to say that you'd have a hard time watching someone you care for suffer, or to say that it would break your heart to know that they were dealing with such trauma, but your wording implies more that you just don't want to deal with the inconvenience of having an ill person in your life, again, because it's too much for YOU to handle.

I'm sorry...are you depressed? I mean, that has nothing to do with the topic at hand and I don't recall it having been mentioned, but i'm sorry to hear that. I would think that someone who suffers from something that greatly affects their relationships with others, and might perhaps lose someone they care for as a result of something beyond their control would have the ability to maybe feel a little bit of compassion for someone in another position. Apparently i'm wrong in making that assumption.

Listen, you can think i'm attacking you all you want. You're entitled to your opinion. I've said it several times. Personally I could care less how you feel about men with cancer, because..i'm not one. If I were, quite frankly from what i've seen, i'd have zero interest in you anyway. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

We both agree that I know very little about you, so for me to "presume" you're selfish because you made a selfish statement is pretty fair, i'd think. Many other people in this forum have said that they wouldn't date someone with cancer, and you know...I didn't get into this sort of conversation with them. Why? Because that's their opinion and they can have it. When it comes down to truly selfish and insensitive reasons being expressed, I feel the need to point out that things might be that way for you someday. That's all I was doing, to begin with. Like I said, if you are unselfish in your life, good for you. If you're depressed..that sucks. Sorry to hear that...though I don't recall saying that I wouldn't date someone I knew was depressed because I wouldn't want to put myself through it, so it's unrelated to the conversation.

By saying "I mean, it's easy to say that you would deny a person love because they were sick, but to be the person who is denied...I think it would do you good to walk a mile in their shoes. I can't imagine being sick, scared and alone..and because of something you have absolutely no control over. " I hardly think that's me showing a lack of compassion for anyone...but maybe the English language is different where you come from. Must be some sort of communication barrier happening.


so I don't know how you dare say that I'm selfish or that I deserve to get cancer more than someone like you!


I didn't say that you deserve to get cancer more than someone like me. Initially I said that there are bad people out there who deserve it more than myself, or others. I didn't specify you in particular. Then when I said PEOPLE LIKE YOU, I made very clear to specify that I wasn't talking about myself, as I know my reasons and I have come to terms with them. It has nothing to do with me personally. I don't want to date you. lol. It has to do with other good people suffering, having to deal with attitudes like the one you expressed. (Which, you seem adament to prove to me isn't infact your belief, so I can accept it was a very poor choice of words.)

I think it's obvious that you're older than me, and have therefore "been through more"..you didn't need to state that. It's a fair assumption. Though, quite frankly, this isn't a contest. You don't have to justify anything to me...I find it interesting that you're trying, though.

I think it's really sad that you would choose to keep your loved ones in the dark about being sick and all that you might face, when you get cancer. I think it's actually quite selfish of you, not to let them in and cope with what is happening. When someone gets sick, it changes the life of those around them as well. I'm sure having dealt with your father's illness, and your own depression (Or at least I think it's yours. You didn't really say) you must realize how important it is to cope with such things as a family.

I would forever resent if somebody I loved kept me in the dark about something like that. Partly because I would feel a deep guilt for the rest of my life knowing that I wasn't able to be there for them, and partly because I would be angry at their selfishness...not being able to see past their own wants and needs.

You say you can't get more unselfish, but I say it's incredibly selfish. Let's agree to disagree, because we both think very differently about life and those we care about.

By the way, if you want to know my story, send my your address...i'll gladly have a copy of my book sent your way. Perhaps getting into the head of a person dealing with it might help you to realize that you can do all the charity in the world and shed a ton of tears over an old client dying, but if you choose not to allow yourself to feel, and involve yourself and others in your life...good and bad...trauma and all...you aren't as unselfish as you think. Embracing strangers is easy and it makes you look good, but embracing yourself and those who care for you most, is one of the most challenging things a person can do in their life.

When you do get sick, I hope that you're able to realize that it's about more than just you.

 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Does it matter I had cancer in the past?
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:02:53 PM
I admire your honesty...I do. I think it's horrible and you'll be lucky to have anyone that wants to be near you when it happens to you, but I admire that you stick to your guns.

I would hardly call it sympathy that anyone is looking for...I would call it compassion.

Like I said, you're entitled to your honest opinion. I was by no means saying that you were not. If you wouldn't get involved with someone who had a health issue, that's absolutely your choice, and you are entitled to it. Just as i'm entitled to mine.

I don't know anything about you, but I think that to see it from the other side, would do you some good. I mean, it's easy to say that you would deny a person love because they were sick, but to be the person who is denied...I think it would do you good to walk a mile in their shoes. I can't imagine being sick, scared and alone..and because of something you have absolutely no control over. You can't either. I'm not saying I wish death upon someone...but I do hope that you have to face a similar challenge one day and realize how important it is that there are people that care about and accept you. You would be extremely lucky to have that, with your attitude.

I didn't suggest your father's illness was an inconvenience to you. YOU said that you would not put yourself through something like that again. YOURSELF...forget the fact that another person is feeling it..it came off that their illness would be an inconvenience to you. I wasn't referring to your father, but if it came off that way, my apologies. I was talking within the context of the question.

I really don't care what you think about me. My character is evident in what i've accomplished in my young life, and I have nothing to prove to someone as truly selfish as you appear to be. I don't waste my time worrying about the opinions of people like you.

I brought my sister's actions up, because I didn't want to come right out and say that strangers deserve bad things to happen to them. My sister has not lived a good life, and it seems so unjust for someone who has, to get ill and face such a thing, having to suffer through people like you. I would think that the people who genuinely shun a sick person out of their own selfishness, would deserve to get sick more than someone who is caring and accepting. I'm not talking about myself, here. I came to terms with the reasons for my illness long ago, but there are wonderful amazing, compassionate, beautiful people out there who have no reason to have to suffer through such a thing, when there are selfish, cold-hearted, uncaring, rash and abusive people who do.

The balance is totally messed up, was my point. My sister will face her decisions one day, as will you, and myself, and everyone else. Her decisions have nothing to do with my cancer. I just didn't want to come right out and say that people with your attitude in particular deserve such curses more than some of those who get them.

It amazes me though, how when you have such a truly ignorant opinion, that when you get a reaction against it, you think someone is trying to say you're not entitled. You're entitled to your opinion, and i'm entitled to disagree, and reply as such. That's what the forums are about. I have no personal ill-will toward you. I just think that it would do you a lot of good to have to experience this from the side of one of those people, you don't want to "put yourself through."

I suppose my reaction was a little harsh, but to think that there are actually people out there that selfish and incompassionate makes me mad. What a sad, sad world we live in.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 77 (view)
 
are you happy with the Leafs offseason so far?
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:08:12 PM

i still cant get past the fact that you are a leafs fan...sorry.seems like a lot of wasted hockey knowledge.


I'm a hockey fan.

While I bleed blue and white, I love the sport itself so much that it doesn't matter whether i'm cheering for the Leafs, the Sens, the Kings...whoever... (Not that I have ever cheered for the Kings or Sens...just sayin') I watch every game, not just the Leafs games. I listen to sports radio and practically live on TSN and the NHL network in the off-season.

I love the Leafs because they remind me of what hockey is actually about. (as do Buffalo and Edmonton. Similar styles) I think that the fact that they haven't succeeded in so long, is part of their charm. They have the heart, the balls and the grit that hockey is about, and they try to claw their way to the top every season. It's the fight in it that I love about the Leafs. There are certainly much more skillful teams, better defensive teams, bigger goal scorers, better goaltending (Though Toskala is a ****ing God as far as i'm concerned.)and all around better hockey teams out there, but for me it`s the attitude...the drive and passion that they have that makes them a team worth supporting.

Where do you figure my knowledge would be better applied?
Anybody can jump on the bandwagon and cheer for a finesse team, because it`s easy. They don`t have to know anything except that `their team` has a bunch of soft handed Europeans that light it up. But to be a true hockey fan...someone who really appreciates everything the sport is about, you can cheer for a team that doesn`t have the flash and flair and ease that other teams do because you can see the fight and passion that nobody else has, in their play.

If you ask me, to cheer for any other team would be a waste of my hockey knowledge.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 73 (view)
 
are you happy with the Leafs offseason so far?
Posted: 7/23/2008 12:17:42 PM
I have a box at Scotiabank Place, so catch the Leafs and Sens games, when I can. I haven't had the opportunity to see the Leafs play once at the ACC, sadly, though I was living an hour drive from there for five years. I have seen them play in Boston, Pittsburgh and Philly, though.

Sadly, I mostly stay stuck to my LeafsTV most of the season. (Game time, I bring up the NHL Centre Ice channel and watch 6 games simultaneously. haha)
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Does it matter I had cancer in the past?
Posted: 7/20/2008 5:32:02 PM

Caring is in my nature and up until recently, have always chosen jobs in the caring profession, so I'm not heartless, but why would I want to put myself through that?


Because you'd hope that when you're in the position, there might be someone in your life who would "put their self through that" to be there for you.

Everyone has lost someone to cancer, so if that "someone I loved more than life" thing is an attempt to paint a picture of yourself as someone who gets it, I assure you, that you do not. That's fine. You're welcome to your opinion and all

My sister is a very selfish woman who has never made a good decision. She disrespects the gift of life, and the struggles of other people. It really bothered me when I was lying in the hospital dying of cancer, and she was running around making bad choices and throwing life away.

There are so many people in this world who probably deserve to get sick a lot more than myself, or anyone else I know who have had cancer. They don't have any sense of what it'd be like. You can't expect them to. I certainly didn't have any idea until I was there, but you know what...because I am not a world class b!tch, who sees someone's illness as an inconvenience, that i'd have to suffer through, people stood by me.

What I want to say next, I think is too much to say to a stranger on forums, but rest assured that I hope you get to experience it from the other side, and very soon.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Calling all health nuts -- your advice please
Posted: 7/20/2008 5:04:33 PM

lucretia21 - a brain problem -ugh. What kind of problem did you end up having. You know my mom told me the same thing (she's a nurse) but then she decided I was depressed - lol (I am not depressed) but you know moms


My particular case is not likely to be yours, as mine turned out to be a tumor. I was actually thinking of something different than happened to me, as a result of the cancer.

Long story short, I was having seizures. They're not all "grand mal" or "epileptic seizures" where you can foam at the mouth, lose control of your body, etc. Complex partial seizures, like the ones I was having, can affect the body in much more subtle ways.

It can be directly responsible for many of the symptoms that you've described. I wouldn't be too worried about it, but seeing a neurologist, if these new tricks don't work is certainly the next step that i'd be taking. So many non-digestive issues could be causing this sort of stuff to happen
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 67 (view)
 
are you happy with the Leafs offseason so far?
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:41:56 PM

you poor girl your a leaf fan in ottawa you must get it BAD from sens fans all the time huh?


I live about ten minutes from Scotiabank Place, so yeah, I hear about it a lot. Fact of the matter is that most of them know very little about the sport, so I can definitely hold my own against them, in these parts.

Honestly? I'd rather spend the rest of my life trying to educate Ottawa fans, than spend another fall in Europe, like I did last year. Imagine living in the UK, and trying to talk about hockey with anyone? It was worse than trying to talk hockey with an Ottawa fan! (Never thought there was a worse fate for a hockey fan)


as for having no concept outside of the Battle of Ontario! you'd be amazed at how much I know regarding not only the Leafs but hockey in General, you could say I am a hockey geek.


No offense, but I don't think i'd be that amazed. (Though maybe impressed...intrigued.??) haha. I consider myself quite a hockey geek, as well. I follow hockey pretty religiously.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 64 (view)
 
are you happy with the Leafs offseason so far?
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:15:47 PM

we'll have guys in their 20's like Havlat, Gaborik and Afinaganov to choose from not to mention Zettberg is up at seasons end as is hossa and these are just some of the big names.


I'll admit it...and as a Leafs fan, I might suffer a bit for saying what i'm about to say, but here it goes:

I like Buffalo. I know, I know. I have admired their style for the past few seasons, though, and have to say that I think Maxim Afinogenov is one of the most underrated young guys out there. He plays with such style...has hands like Hossa, and his stick, I swear, is covered in double sided tape. I think his case is one if just ending up on a team where he can't thrive.

The Sabres have other (much younger) guys that are putting more points on the board. Guys like Pominville, Kotalik, Vanek kind of overshadow what Afinogenov is capable of. When he is at his best, and given the opportunity, he can play like a Hossa, but for a much smaller cost. I'd personally love to see him as a Leaf...put him on a line with another big Russian and I bet he'd thrive.

PS: Canadianstud, not that it matters, but that fact that you brought him up kind of makes me really like you! haha. I say Afinogenov to people in these parts and they stare like a deer caught in headlights. They have no concept of anything outside of the Battle of Ontario!
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Why does a man want a woman to hold his penis while he urinates?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:42:23 PM
I think, if you really wanted to talk about how erotic it is to hold a man's d!ck while he takes a leak, and how people are missing out, you should have posted in Sex and Sexuality, and not made up a bogus question, making it seem as though you were truly looking for an answer, rather than just a chance to flaunt your bizzare sexual desires.


oh yes I'm a troll.. troll here.. troll there... but dang if it aint fun!


That IS a good way to meet friends around here! (About as good as announcing you enjoy holding a man's penis while he pees.)
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 576 (view)
 
How would you feel about a WOMAN with a GUN?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:36:30 PM

Any item can be considered a deadly weapon. Kitchen knives, Autos, ball bats, neck ties, pencils, pens, and rolling pins can all be used as a deadly weapon. By your own words, there is no excuse for letting a 3-yr old play with a pen.


Yep. I would not let my three year old child play with kitchen knives, autos, bats, ties, pencils, pens or rolling pins. By my own words, I am saying that there is no excuse to allow my baby to play with these things! That is exactly what i'm saying. Glad you understand. Frightened that you don't agree that these things are dangerous to put into the hands of a baby, yet somehow not surprised.


No Ma'am!
If it is not dangerous, immoral, or illegal, then teaching your children skills and abilities is what being a parent is all about. Firearms are not dangerous when handled properly, and they are certainly not immoral or illegal.
So.... what's your problem?


My problem is that it is absolutely a question of morals. We clearly disagree on the issue, and you think there is nothing wrong with putting a dangerous weapon (whether you think of it as a fun toy or not, isn't the question. Legally, it is a dangerous weapon.) in the hands of a baby...that's your choice, and you have the right to teach your child a way of life that is unnecessary and dangerous. It's none of my business to tell you how to raise your kid.

It does become an issue of the child's well-being, and not to mention gun control laws here in Ontario, and I know for a personal fact, after checking with mates who work for CAS here in my local office, that a child would be removed from the home, and an investigation pursued if a parent was admittedly allowing them access (and ENCOURAGING access) to a harmful weapon (Just as if you were allowing your child to play with ball bats, kitchen knives, ties, etc.)

There is a reason you have to be of a certain age before you can be a registered hunter, and register a gun in your name, and i'll give you a hint: 100% of that reason is due to the lack of understanding and maturity an infant possesses. You might think you're father of the goddamn year, because your intent is to teach your child how to handle a weapon (and again, I stress it IS a weapon) but sadly, you're mistaken.


My INTENT in teaching a child about firearms has everything to do with safety and nothing to do with using it as a weapon. They're a lot of fun to shoot, just like collecting stamps is a lot of fun to some people. I don't see that as "fun", though I don't get all bent out of shape about it.
So I ask again... what's your problem?


For the record, if you were to look up the stats, i'm sure there were many more gun-related deaths, than stamp related deaths, last year...or any year. I am not getting bent out of shape about the fact that you find shooting fun. Lots of people find shooting fun. Most of my family and friends shoot skeet and hunt on a regular basis. I have enjoyed both of those things in the past.

The fact of the matter is that I have to stand behind my opinion 100%, and that means not participating in gun culture in any sense of the word. (This means shooting cans off a fence, range shooting, skeet shooting, hunting, etc.)

My problem I thought was evident. You're introducing a very dangerous hobby to your child, and you're going to explain it to them that you're not introducing a weapon but something that is "a lot of fun to shoot". You also apparently have no problem insinuating that it's okay for a child to play with other various objects that a child has no use being near...which really makes me concerned for your children.

Gun laws in Canada and the US are clearly different. Cultural and moral beliefs are clearly different. At this point i'm thanking fvck that I wasn't born to an American father who would raise me surrounded by danger, but explain that rather than use the kitchen knife to hurt someone, I should use it for FUN! Bravo dad! Give yourself a pat on the back!


I bet you'd teach a teenager how to drive, or let one take driving lessons (maybe even pay for those lessons).
How could you possible teach a teenager to do that? Operating an automobile is THE MOST DANGEROUS thing they do! More teens and young adults are killed & maimed in car crashes than in any other activity. The carnage is truly horrible.


Yep, I sure would allow my responsible YOUNG ADULT to be taught LEGALLY by a PROFESSIONAL who has complete control of the vehicle they are in, to drive. I would not, however, try to teach my 3 year old to drive myself. That's the difference, right there. We're not talking about teenagers, we're talking about toddlers. We're also not talking about driving, with a professional (a legal, morally acceptable activity), we're talking about daddy letting them play with guns. (an illegal, disgustingly dangerous, potentially harmful activity.)

Clearly we disagree, and I imagine you're going to come up with some more unrelated scenarios to try and refute my point, but you're not going to change my mind, or my moral and legal beliefs on the matter.

Not to mention this is not the place to do so, being that we've strayed far away from the original post.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Why does a man want a woman to hold his penis while he urinates?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:03:31 PM
So yeah...we were all having fun until the OP turned out to be the trolliest of trolls. Bummer.

Mish Man, you've cracked me up most of this thread, by the way!
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
are you happy with the Leafs offseason so far?
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:44:40 PM
I hate this Sens vs. Leafs stuff. Like..what is the point of coming into a forum discussing the Leafs and their offseason to bash them? I have no reason to go into some Sens forum and bash them because quite frankly it's not worth my time, but also because that's just idiotic and screams of an immaturity expected only of kindergarteners.

But...since you came into a LEAFS forum with your anti-Leafs and pro-Sens attitude, I can educate you yet again, like I always have to.

I won't even get into the acheivements the Leafs had in the 50+ years that Ottawa could not even support an NHL team.

Let's talk about what has happened since they have been back in the league:

You boast about the amount of times the Sens have had a post-season. Before that, they were the worst team in the league four years running. There's something to be proud of. The number of times the Leafs have been last in the league since Ottawa got a franchise? None.

How about that great first over all draft pick in 1993 by the name of Alexander Daigle? One of the worst "draft busts" in sports history.

What about the declartion of bankruptcy in 2003? Good times!

How about the fact that every time they have met the Leafs in the post-season since the franchise was re-established, they have lost? That's fun.

What about having it all come down to one game after blowing a record breaking start, in 07-08 to decide whether they'd make the playoffs again? That was an exemplary display of superior sportsmanship if i've ever seen it (note sarcasm)

Anyway, the bottom line is that you can claim the Senators are better than the Leafs, but you'd only be proving yourself a fool. Every team has it's struggles. Every team has it's skeletons in the closet. Ottawa is a new franchise, and they've had their share of stupid decisions and tough times. Ottawa "fans" don't realize this because few of them were around when the Sens weren't winning.

At the end of the day, when all you have to pride yourself on is making it to the finals and losing in '06, only to follow up with one of the most disappointing seasons I could imagine to follow such a run, followed by being swept in the first round of the post-season, you don't have much, do you?

The Leafs have this epic quest to better them selves, a desire to fight to win, claw their way back to the top, etc. while the Senators are completely satisfied with the status quo as was evident by their lack of enthusiasm, discipline and desire, presented in 07-08, and the sad display at the trade deadline, as well as little movement in the offseason.

/end rant
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
are you happy with the Leafs offseason so far?
Posted: 7/17/2008 5:25:49 PM
There is a God!

haha.
Now if only I could learn to use my powers for other good deeds, like ridding the world of Daniel Alfredsson. This is something many people might pay to acheive. I think i'm going to be a rich woman.

In all seriousness, good for Woz. I mean, he's a bonehead, but he might prove beneficial to a team like the Blues. Just like we already discussed, he doesn't have the decision making skills to be a successful player in the NHL. (By that I mean the competitive NHL. haha) All the best to him, but i'll be celebrating his departure tonight, for sure!
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 561 (view)
 
How would you feel about a WOMAN with a GUN?
Posted: 7/17/2008 1:53:18 PM

...My point is a 3 year old can't really understand the difference between a tool and a toy...
I disagree, especially if you want your children to learn about them.
I think it depends mostly on what you are teaching and how you present it.
With firearms & 3-yr olds, it would be appropriate to do a quick tactile familiarization along with introducing rules, limits, safety issues, then moving on to other things as attention span limits are approached.


This is a ****!ng joke, right? It rarely happens, but i'm totally with Luke on this one.

There is no excuse for giving a weapon to a child, no matter how much you try to educate them on it. They're a freaking toddler, for crying out loud! They should be playing with blocks and watching Dora, not playing with guns and learning gun safety. This is just lunacy.

If I were aware of a friend or neighbour who allowed their toddler to handle a weapon (loaded or not), i'd be calling Children's Aid faster than you could imagine, and trying to urge an investigation of their parenting skills. I'm sorry, if you think there is nothing wrong with providing a weapon to a child (Who will not understand that guns aren't toys...they won't. I don't care what kind of serious conversation you try to have with them about safety and whatnot...they're a child, for crying out loud!) then who knows what other questionable and unsafe things are happening in your home.

I came from a home in a town where everyone hunts. A simple sort of community. My dad is a bit of a collector of guns, as he hunts "anything with hair wool or feathers" (his words, not mine.) I knew how to shoot as a young adult. I even partook in skeet shooting on occasion. Do I enjoy that lifestyle? No. Do I enjoy gun culture? No. Do I think that in the States it's easy for any idiot to get a gun, and allow their child to have access to it? Sure do! I wish I could say that I have always been against guns, but being that I have possessed one before, I hardly think that would be fair, but I assure you that I think what you're doing is absolutey wrong and potentially dangerous.

This isn't to say that I think a child is going to go out on a shooting spree, but by allowing firearms to be a part of a child's life, you're definitely hightening the risk of accidents in your home. I understand that in some areas in North America, hunting is a huge part of the culture, but where I come from (and apparently in many states as well) you have to be 16 to have a hunting license, (and 18 to own a gun of their own) so I see no need for a toddler to be anywhere around a gun, loaded or not.

To answer the original question, if a grown woman wants to have a gun, I don't see how that would be a problem.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Why does a man want a woman to hold his penis while he urinates?
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:26:47 AM

So he doesn't have to wash his hands.


I was waiting and waiting for someone to say this, and yet I still laughed my ass off when it appeared!

Oh and in response to the OP...what the hell kind of friends and lovers do you have?! I mean never once has it come up with my girlfriends "Yeah, and what's with men wanting you to hold their****while they pee?" and if it did, I imagine the response would be crickets chirping, wide eyes and jaws on the floor. The fact that you know so many women this has happened to is sort of...frightening actually. As someone else put it...it's time to find new acquaintances.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/16/2008 10:38:13 PM
Oh my.

This shouldn't be a problem at all, and frankly I don't imagine it happens often.People tend to meet partners in their social circle. Often, that circle is filled with other people like them. This isn't to say there aren't exceptions, but I rarely see doctors fraterinizing with people on Welfare.

I personally wouldn't care at all if a man made less than I did. If he has a job and he has managed to support himself thus far in life, why should it be any concern of mine?

And you know, i'm with leagueofextraordinary (or LEOM as I shall henceforth call him) on this one. What is this crap about 50/50? If one person makes more than the other, it's sort of expected that they can afford to pay more than the other. This isn't to say i'd demand we go somewhere expensive, then stick the bill on him if he made more or anything, but in general life as a couple, the person with more income is naturally going to contribute more to the living situation than the one who makes a much less significant earning...that is, if they want to maintain the lifestyle they've become accustomed to living.

50/50 emotionally? Absolutely. 50/50 financially, when one could potentially make thousands more a month? I don't think that's fair or beneficial to anyone involved.
 lucretia21
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Career
Posted: 7/16/2008 9:43:32 PM
It wouldn't bother me. I think those sort of careers are honourable, and someone has got to do them. Better a man is employed and doing something good for people everyday, than sitting on the couch.

I do think it is natural for a woman to feel slightly overlooked, or even...like her worth has depreciated when she hears of all the grand things he is accomplishing everyday. I could see this happening more with a "stay at home mom" (Or whatever the politically correct term is.)

I don't think it's fair to send "girl signals" about it, as you put it, but as I was reading it, I realized that I do this quite a lot. Rather than really talk about what is bothering me (Because I KNOW it's ridiculous) I keep it to myself, but at times get short with people. I imagine she is doing it for the same reason as I have...because she knows it's totally silly.

You're right. She should talk to him and tell him what the deal is about her feelings and whatnot and you know what? He might make more of an effort to be conscious of how his career makes her feel (Good Lord, that sounds so ridiculous, though.)

Anyway, no...it wouldn't bother me at all if a man had a demanding job, as long as he came home and loved me while he was able to, and didn't stray, then what difference does it make?
 
Show ALL Forums