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ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 88 (view)

Inner Beauty Posted: 12/6/2007 3:11:24 PM
Maryjo, you're just being negative. If I had to wear glasses, which I don't, i'd get something stylish and just rock it. What LL is wearing here (I hate using celebs as examples, but I won't use personal ones) is extremely attractive: http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/6237/lohanglasses04196c339ij9.jpg Simple as that. The only boundaries you make are for yourself. Yes, some people need plastic surgery. I'd say roughly 1%. It's easy to put the blame on something other than yourself ("ooh, I wouldn't look good anyway, so why work out?") instead of taking your life in your hands. Less than 5% of the US works out for 30 minutes 3x a week (which is still too little, IMO), so I will presume you're one of them.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

What if temporary contracts were offered in lieu of marriage? Posted: 12/6/2007 1:32:57 PM
*I believe the best idea is to make marriage less BINDING. (error above)

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

What if temporary contracts were offered in lieu of marriage? Posted: 12/6/2007 1:31:53 PM
Ok, here's the problem i'm going to bring up. Human beings are wired to be monogamous. Sometimes for life, sometimes for not as long of a time. For hundreds of thousands of years, this worked, because we stayed in groups of people (tribes, etc) of 50-200, of which everyone did the same thing, and because children were taken care of in both a group method (all of the women together) and by the respective parents. Even up until recent times, families lived in relative proximity of each other (down the street, next door, etc). And, when that happens, things just work out better. They're more efficient. You can get something done easier when the people you know and trust are going to care for your children, when you have to do whatever, and vice versa. As time passed, we got bigger and bigger, made villages, towns, metropolises, spanning the world. Throughout the time, women really had few rights. In fact, as early as a few hundred years ago, women were considered PROPERTY of their father until they were transferred to be property of her husband she married. This sort of thing, combined with religion, effectively forced people to be monogamous for life. They may have desired more. They may have even had hidden affairs. But, they were effectively 'stuck' with their partner, financially and socially, for life. There was no choice in it. In the 20th Centry, women became fully liberated, being able to support themselves completely, and finally freeing their shackles so that they can be with who they want. Also, as religious ties lightened up, men were freed of similar shackles. As we find out, those original instincts of "monogamy, but not necessarily lifetime monogamy" are coming right to the surface, and everyone's in shock, since we're used to this "marriage for life" paradigm. But, that's what we're wired for. Now, that doesn't mean that many people are not destined to be "married for life." As I believe and have experienced, if the love is intense enough, your attraction to all other women will be blocked out forever, no matter what opportunity is in front of you. The Taj Mahal was built from such love. In a situation where polgyamy was the norm, Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan was so much in love with his rd wife, Mumtaz Mahal that he ignored his other wives and pretty much spent every waking second with her. When she died, he made that mausoleum in honor of her. So, as you can see, when the doors are wide open, monogamy is the norm, but not necessarily monogamy, for life. Now, limited contracts as the solution? Honestly, I don't think that's it, especially considering our bodies don't work on 5-year windows. I believe the cycle is 4-years, perfectly in line with having a child raised through his/her most critical years. If you want to see more on that, read the thread on this site: http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=193392 I believe the best idea is to make marriage less pending. Also, helping out with the whole "gay marriage" arguments, I believe marriages should be moved out of the DIRTY government and be put back into Churches. After, all, they were to be made under God, not under a government body. And, in place, there should be very basic "civil unions" so that both partners are protected in the case of death, in ownership, and numerous basic civil rights that can be harmed if it's not there. But, that's it. It would be a contract that is much more like a business-to-business contract, than anything, and when the contract is chosen to be terminated, it is. That would lay a lot of pressure off of everyone and get rid of the ridiculous court proceedings people have when they break up, today. But, this is really more about attitude, than anything. When people realize that it is natural to be monogamous for life AND to be monogamous for shorter periods than that, and stop being so "shocked" by divorce rates, then things will get better. A breakup is a breakup. And, they happen, NATURALLY. It's like stepping into a cold pool. If you know it's cold, it's a lot easier than if you just jump in, and get shocked by it. So, once people (if they ever) realize such a thing is how we're wired, and stop being so shocked and down by it, they can more easily move on, no strings attached, and people can live happier lives. Long enough? lol

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

Inner Beauty Posted: 12/6/2007 1:10:01 PM
Bottom line: You need the physical to have a relationship. Otherwise, it just doesn't work. Now, there are rotten beautiful-looking people and rotten ugly people. There are great beautiful-looking people and great ugly people. There's absolutely no correlation. Ugly people aren't saints because of their situation, just like beautiful people aren't devils. Add to it the fact that EVERYONE thinks they're reasonable and "nice" no matter how true or false it is. So, yes, it's a factor. Why don't you just go to the gym and solve it instead of complaining? It's not like looks are something you've got no power over.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 172 (view)

DO MEN TAKE BREAK-UPS THE HARDEST????????? Posted: 12/5/2007 3:41:59 PM
Men have social networks, too. We just get no support in this arena. Don't give me the 'working hard' nonsense about this. A man can have a thousand friends and he'd be entirely on his own in a breakup. It's just how it works.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 167 (view)

DO MEN TAKE BREAK-UPS THE HARDEST????????? Posted: 12/5/2007 2:55:51 PM
You bet. Men have zero support network, zero women coming up to them reassuring that they'll "find someone again" and are basically left in the dark after a breakup. I'm not complaining, but if you're going to compare, it's radically different for us.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Does a dying person still deserve love? Posted: 12/5/2007 1:11:44 PM
Dying at 50? Please. If it was saying you were to die in six months, that would be a completely different situation, but 50 is more than many people live, on average, in many, many parts of the world. Hell, 100 years ago, I think it was the norm.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Never been in a relationship. Am I missing anything? Posted: 12/5/2007 10:47:08 AM
Yes. For better or worse, love is one of the most amazing things you can experience on this planet. If it wasn't for that, people wouldn't be coming back and this website wouldn't exist.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 110 (view)

Potential Stalker. Advice needed Posted: 12/5/2007 6:48:04 AM
Crazy people are everywhere. I'd stay on your toes. I actually have some sort of internet stalker who is a guy and i'm a guy (and i'm not Brad Pitt). No matter what I do and how I have him banned from places, he keeps on coming back and recreating profiles and bothering me, over and over again. Now, yes, the internet is the internet, but the Virginia Tech Shootings came from a guy who was all over the internet beforehand, and that is my concern, overall. What the hell can you do?

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Relationships without long-term expectations...? Posted: 10/19/2007 10:38:20 PM
I'm fine with that. I've got a really busy schedule and if she did, the same, it's ok with me. Then again, I gave up the dream of the house with the white picket fence ages ago, so everything that comes to relationships is completely freeform these days. Not that I don't think I can find love, but it's not coming easy, and i'm already older than when my plans were, ages ago.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Why do guys never say bye? They just fade away quietly! Posted: 10/19/2007 10:34:18 PM
I've done it and it's as much drama as a volcano. BAD! BAD! BAD! This is one of those things that theoretically is good, but in reality is not what you want.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 126 (view)

How can you predict sexual compatibility? Posted: 9/30/2007 12:40:50 AM
Just like any part of a relationship, having a good sex life must be WORKED AT. You've got to communicate and learn what "does it" for each other, and make it the best thing possible for both of you. And if either the man or the woman does not make an effort towards this, you're going to have problems.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 137 (view)

Are men really attracted to needy women? Posted: 9/29/2007 8:02:40 AM
That has more to do with looks, than anything, IMO

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages Posted: 9/28/2007 10:49:10 AM
lilnursemama, as ALSO a Genalogist of 20+ years, having traced my family, in some cases back to 1385, I will agree with what you're saying in terms of 'acceptance.' But, in relation to that it will take time before full interracial dating has the acceptance of, say, intereuropean dating has in 100 years. Again, being perfectly clear that I think it's completely fine, i'm going to propose a controversial idea for people to ponder, though: When people marry of different races (or, for the matter, radically different cultures) and have children, those children are left in a bit of a bind. They're neither culture entirely, and by that definition, semi-ostracized from both, leaving them with neither, or having to choose one over the other. Case in point: Alicia Keys (born Alicia J. Augello-Cook) She's Italian and African American. Have I heard her ONCE talk about her Italian side in public? About her mother? Once? NO. NEVER. She's all about "Ghetto Story" this and that. So, it's clear that she's chosen to deny one part of her heritage over another. Or, say Mariah Carey. She's lighter than Alicia, and as a result was never really accepted by the White or African-American community completely and was left into some sort of limbo inbetween both. Again, I'm not saying it's wrong in any way, shape or form, but as people are becoming more and more separated as communities (culturally), which seems to be the trend (Whites with Whites, African-Americans with African-Americans, Latinos with Latinos, everyone with their own TV stations, radio stations, streets, shows, holidays, etc), this WILL pose a problem and moreso than it did in the past when everyone was just "proud to be an American." Just something to consider / debate. :)

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

My daughter's father is getting out of jail in 3 weeks. Posted: 9/27/2007 9:45:25 PM
To be perfectly honest, I don't know why you even communicate with your ex, a criminal, who cheated on you "a lot" and you had to work at to get out of jail. I say stay with your current man, make sure you get child support payments and cut your ex out of your life completely.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 90 (view)

What do you think about people who see therapists? Posted: 9/27/2007 9:34:21 PM
It's better than people never dealing with their issues, so why would I have a problem with it?

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages Posted: 9/27/2007 9:32:35 PM
I think society hasn't fully accepted it yet, although it is getting better. But, it depends where you're at. On the street I live on, there's literally more mixed couples than couples that are not, so its far more accepted than other places. I should also say that this is from an outsider's perception. I don't date interracially (it's a physical attraction thing, nothing more), so I don't completely know how taxing society is on from the inside of such a relationship.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 386 (view)

Why men wont date independant women Posted: 1/23/2007 7:43:24 PM
This thread is sort of ridiculous. I want an independent woman. I'm a busy man, and unless she wants to be dragged around with me all over town (which probably would drive us both crazy), she's got to have a life of her own, too!

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 103 (view)

distance problems Posted: 1/21/2007 10:20:00 PM
I don't get people who try the LDR thing. For what i've gathered (i've never done it), the rate of success is like 5%, if you had a prior physical one before you became physically divided. For those people who have "online relationships", they're just asking to hurt themselves, since you can't guarantee ANY chemistry without meeting each other, in person, at least once...

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

Does harmful addictions impair our friendships or other important relationships? Posted: 1/21/2007 10:18:07 PM
I remove myself from those situations, 100% of the time...

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Why do men want to change you? Posted: 1/21/2007 10:17:25 PM
Sounds like you just have a poor situation. I don't date "fixer uppers." I think it's unfair to place your expectations on another person. You have to take them as they are. I'd rather be fairly picky upfront and date without pretense than date someone under the guise that i'll mold her my way, which is going against her wishes, when you really come down to it. You've got to let people just be themselves. If it's a match, it'll just WORK...

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 461 (view)

Why are older women not into younger guys??? Posted: 1/21/2007 10:15:20 PM
Well, this thread is supremely generalizing, although I must point out that 19 is rather young, and women at that age (rightfully) often prefer guys slightly older.. You're younger than you take yourself as, although I clearly remember being that age and know you think you're fairly old, especially compared to slightly younger peers, but it's all a matter of perspective. I've had a number of older women into me, but they were outside of the range of what I find attractive, so it's entirely possible...

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 116 (view)

What ever happened to committment and chivalry? Posted: 1/13/2007 6:43:45 PM
Sorry, but women DESTROYED chivalry. Ever since our youth women have scoffed at, turned your noses up and have been offended by us opening doors and doing all of these niceties we went out of our ways for you. Not to mention, women who did enjoy them, tended to run after the men who ignored them and treated them terribly, so it seems bad all around to do anything remotely resembling it. You did it to yourselves, ladies. You didn't want it, so you don't have it.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 235 (view)

Is Intelligence Captivating............... Posted: 1/11/2007 1:50:40 AM
IMO, intelligence hasn't meant squat to women, except the bookworm-types (and even then, to a slight degree). Charm and looks pretty much are all of it. I mean, this should be pretty obvious, considering the "players" that all of the geeks were, growing up, people... :P

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 259 (view)

best ways to get even with your ex Posted: 1/11/2007 1:20:27 AM
I always thought the best "revenge" is to go on, living an incredible, successful life, without them. Be more positive, people.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

bisexual problem ADVISE NEEDED Posted: 1/10/2007 2:18:07 PM
For what I understood promiscuity has never had anything to do with sexual orientation. My gut is that you probably like guys more than girls and are simply with her since it gives you some social comfort (heterosexuality). You have to ask yourself WHY you can't be faithful - and to me, given your explanations - the only answer is that you really don't like girls that much. I think, for her sake, it's best that you break it off. People should be true to themselves, and she should be with a guy who is truely into women, and into her.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Is Gift Giving an expression of Love ? Posted: 1/10/2007 10:30:46 AM
I think it's a "niceity", but I don't want to ever link it to love. This reminds me of a family I knew growing up, who got all hung up on giving each other gifts - and in the process were broke all the time! In my family, gifts are nice, not that important, and borderline optional. We've all learned to make our way, and we treat ourselves when we want to, instead of expecting it of others...

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 303 (view)

The truth about Introverts. Posted: 1/10/2007 7:54:02 AM
I'm both. I need time alone AND I need time around people for me to feel "alive." But, I consider myself an anomaly, since I spent years reprogramming myself to not be the shy, timid person I was once - and that's why I like some of how I felt back then (especially for personal growth), but don't care to be like that ALL the time...

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Dressing/Undressing In Front Of Your BF/GF/SO Posted: 1/10/2007 7:50:08 AM
To me, this just reeks of insecurity on her part. You have a sexual relationship and have a problem undressing / dressing in front of them? How f*cked up is that?

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Similar Qualities and Traits - Attraction or Deterrent? Posted: 1/9/2007 10:55:03 PM
It's highly attractive to me, since one of those traits is to discover new things to do and see. I think the "differences" thing works for people who aren't terribly inquisitive, since it forces them to learn something new through their relationship, but the opposite of me would be a pretty dull, boring, sedate woman, and that sounds like prison, not paradise, to me.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

always talking about beautiful women around you Posted: 12/13/2006 3:43:41 PM
You know, it's normal for men to be looking, but talking about it? That doesn't seem exactly respectful to her, at all...

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 86 (view)

Have you ever had an opportunity to cheat, and honorably resisted temptation? Posted: 12/4/2006 9:56:25 PM
As I just posted in another thread, I had the opportunity to be "the man" who the girl cheated on with, and I resisted. Add to that the fact that I had been single for a long while before that and I had incredible chemistry with her, so it was VERY HARD to resist.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 175 (view)

When was the last time you fell in love? Posted: 12/4/2006 9:51:54 PM
15 years ago. Yikes, that's been waaaay too long! :(

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

Long Distance Relationships Do they work? Posted: 12/4/2006 9:39:44 PM
Statistically speaking, no - but many people have beat the odds.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

am i too young to know what i want? Posted: 12/2/2006 7:18:08 AM
Pretty much, yes. Even when I was 19 and I THOUGHT I knew what I wanted, I really didn't.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 677 (view)

Why do stunning women go for geeks Posted: 12/1/2006 5:44:10 AM
This is rather uncommon where I come from. Most stunning women around me go out with stunning, wealthy men. Believe me, my "geek" side is well guarded and only comes out around people I trust to be nonjudgemental about it.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

How important is it to have a sense of humour in a relationship? Posted: 11/30/2006 9:16:31 PM
It all depends on the people, but it's the only way to get through the rought times, IMO

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Dressing up, should it be done continually? Posted: 11/30/2006 8:57:51 PM
Honestly, I think you should just be yourself. If you're casual, be casual. If you like dressing up for dates, do it. I think there's a degree of expectation, but in the end, we all go back to our usual habits, so it's just best to be true from the start.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Criminal record Posted: 11/30/2006 11:34:28 AM
A criminal record can affect WAY more than dating, especially in terms of employment. I'd pay the fees and continue to have a clean record.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Americans & Canadians in Love; Crossing The Border Posted: 11/30/2006 11:24:19 AM
Cold?^^^huh?It was 70 degrees yesterday. Just wait!! It'll get cold soon enough.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Americans & Canadians in Love; Crossing The Border Posted: 11/30/2006 11:03:54 AM
Canada's pretty damn cold, so i'd try to drag her here.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

enlightened intimacy Posted: 11/30/2006 10:25:45 AM
To be perfectly honest, this reminds me of the concept of "cuddle buddies". And in terms of "cuddle buddies", I think that's USING men, since clearly we are wired for more than just being intimate, and women are wired to be all about intimacy, foreplay, talking, etc - therefore men get nothing out of it and women get everything. Not that I don't think it's not worth it for a change of pace, but doing it, and ESPECIALLY doing it as you progress in a relationship is just going to give the man blue balls, and the woman all of the positives with none of the guilt/risk.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not? Posted: 11/28/2006 11:02:33 AM
OH, and one other thing. Ever noticed how frequently, when you do give up pursuing someone, all the sudden you become very attractive to them, and they start pursuing you ? I can't say that i've experienced that much, since I tend to cut things off when there's no hope, but it does seem possible.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not? Posted: 11/28/2006 11:00:04 AM
No this does not happen to you alone. a. don't settle for less, for as you've experienced already, the feelings won't be mutual b. though some will say this is over the top I don't expect a lot to have read or understand manifestation and the power of thought. Ask for what you want, not what you need. c. stay focused and sharp, many times the very thing we are looking for presents itself and we don't see it. The last poster has a good answer as well. Don't expect a serious answer from people with headlines like "I'm single because I was born that way" and "It's the simple pleasures that matter" . Where do you people find these headlines? On the covers of the last self-help books you've read? Fair enough, I don't ask what I want enough.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not? Posted: 11/28/2006 10:58:36 AM
HEY- know you from the health and fitness forum of my space... not sure you are alone. it bothers me and can feel a little harrassed if someone is too interested but then i have probably stalked someone in the pasts as felt wasn't getting enough attention. i don't think you are alone at all. i actually think it is very common Hey, I remember you too. I'm surprised you're single! You're attractive and have tons to offer any guy. Anyway, it's good to hear it's more common.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not? Posted: 11/28/2006 9:38:07 AM
Well, I usually think stripper names are more like "Mercedes" or "Crystal" or "Madison", but the old "he takes care of his appearance, therefore he's either a player or gay" thing has gotten pretty old to me by now.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Mining your own demons Posted: 11/28/2006 9:31:50 AM
I'd only date a girl who i'd be comfortable with opening up to.

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not? Posted: 11/28/2006 9:26:18 AM
You know, I ask an honest question, and I get a lot of crap. Thanks. And, who the hell is Kelli Green or this reference to, anyway?

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not? Posted: 11/28/2006 9:15:46 AM
Ok, i've found that i've just got this tendency to fall for women who aren't into me, but when women are head over heels into me, I tend to be not interested. This has become so much of a pattern that i've actually never had a relationship where it's been truely mutual. I'm not sad about it, but i'm getting a little sick of it. A. Am I the only one who has this pattern going on? B. Why is this happening? C. What can I do to correct it. Mind you, i'm not one of those crazy guys who only goes after models or whatever (as long as a girl is fit and takes care of herself, it's fine). Thanks!

ace76

Joined: 11/13/2006

Msg: 1012 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met? Posted: 11/27/2006 9:29:33 PM
You people are being VERY irresponsible. Haven't any of you been rejected enough to know that chemistry is very, very fickle. Why on earth would you even pretend a relationship without testing it out?

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