Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Sloppy Seconds: Acceptable or no? For older daters.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Sloppy Seconds: Acceptable or no? For older daters.
Posted: 4/8/2014 3:32:42 PM
I've experienced something like this within the last 12-18 months, my thought process is "why would be make yourself available (to me or at all) if you really aren't"? Its disrespectful and doesn't take me and the time we've spent together into consideration at all. The woman from my experience is exactly like you described yours - awesome person that anyone would be damn lucky to end up with.

If after the failed attempt at following her instinct, she contacted me; I'm not sure how I would react. I know I wouldn't feel special that she chose to re-connect with me after what transpired but the other side of knowing what kind of person I thought she was and the chemistry I know we had would be tugging at me too.


Tough call my good man, only thing I can really say is don't wait around to see. If another good opportunity presents itself, then go for it because you'd kick yourself if you declined because you were waiting/hoping the 1st woman's instincts were incorrect and they weren't......then you lose twice! :(
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
The aftermath .......
Posted: 1/5/2014 10:47:54 AM
I've read some of the response, including yours and so wonder:

If you're getting satisfied and by his quick trigger, so is he........what's the question? If either by his willingness to not run out of the room embarrassed or your empathetic response, its working for both of you then I don't see an issue.


Now, speaking as a man who's had some super sensitivity where the fuse is rather short shall we say and the *boom* goes off to soon, here are some things that I've learned lead to it and also how we (my partner(s) at the time) handled it. When I have that kind of connection with someone where she just turns me on so bad, I'm honest and let her know in a complimentary way that round 1 probably isn't going to last long so bare with me. I take it slow, no rabbit humping lol, I'll even spend quite a bit of time giving her oral attention all over. I know I'll get mine and would rather her get hers 1st so that she can get 2nds when we actually have intercourse.

So if he's at least somewhat approachable beforehand, let him know that it matters to you how he feels about that and you want him to get the full experience more so than yourself. Maybe taking it slowly, pulling out when he feels too close to orgasm so the sensation subsides a bit.....anything to prolong the experience for your both.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 67 (view)
 
What to say on the first message?
Posted: 1/5/2014 10:29:02 AM
don't listen to all the douchenozzles who say "search forums before asking" and then post an entire page of links.......so friendly huh?

None of us can tell you how to be ...YOU! Nor can any of us tell you what will work with this particular woman who's caught your eye or any other you want to approach down the road. Take your time to put your words together, be 100% you/your personality in what you write. No tricks, tips or suggestions from someone else.........just be YOU.


and good luck!
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 202 (view)
 
Why do men like to give women backrubs?
Posted: 12/15/2012 1:25:07 PM
I would never turn down a "good" back rub and I'm not being snarky. Good as in relaxing, tension releasing and free!! I love a good deep tissue massage as it is, so why would it be weird to think another person (of the opposite sex) wouldn't enjoy a nice back rub free of charge?
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Too emotionally damaged to trust men?
Posted: 12/15/2012 9:25:08 AM
What you've done in the past has resulted in less than pleasant outcomes, try doing something different to effect and new outcome. <--Not saying you're at fault for the attrocities those messed up people enacted upon you...AT ALL!

I agree with the counselling mentioned, even if you've already done that in the past it may be something you want to start again if you already haven't. I also agree with not overloading this new relationship with your past all at once or right away. A good partner should want to know all there is to know about you - (a) to better know you (b) better understand you (c) better make decisions within the relationship. You might be surprised at his reaction, mine is "This woman has experienced some terrible violations of trust, boundaries and emotional abuse but she's still here willing and trying to share herself with another. KUDOS to her strength to even want to try much less putting herself back in the fishing pond up to the neck"

I know the feelings you have, any one of us that have had our heartsbroken or relationship trust smashed all feel gun shy about fully opening up to a new potential. We all may not have had the same experiences as you but we all have to make the choice to become vulnerable once again to truly make ourselves ready to fall in love and trust another partner. Take baby steps, a little bit at a time, just because the signs currently all show that he's a superb fella doesn't mean you empty the dumptruck all at once. If he's as good as ya say, he'll appreciate you sharing those parts of your past with him and he'll live up to that trust more n more.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How would you react to this one?
Posted: 10/25/2012 4:10:20 PM
agree with several others - clarification seems to have been needed on your part to determine the extent of his request and whether or not it was something you were ok with. It is an odd request to just throw out there without any previous discussion of a shared interest, so I wouldn't say you overreacted for wanting some answers.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Ever been turned on by a person's accent?
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:56:37 AM
Yes! Also depends on the person too, example:

I know a young lady who's part Japanese & Irish, she looks Hawaiian(sp?) so you're not expecting the heavy irish accent to hit you when she starts talking!! She's super hot but its a whole package, attractive physically, AWESOME personality and then you top it off with the accent.


puppylove....
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 63 (view)
 
What do you think about dating a stripper?
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:29:43 AM
I managed a gentleman's club many years ago so can only speak for those I have observed + my own personal choice based on what I saw/experienced.

On the surface I do not think that line of work should label you as disloyal or as a w*h*o*r*e. I do know that it really tweaks your perspective after a while if not from the get go on what really is acceptable in a relationship. Would you be ok with your partner being mostly naked in front of a bunch of women who're trying to touch him or worse and who are essentially writing his paycheck at the same time?

I've seen good people, with degrees even, who started in the business and 10+yrs later theyre still there and have sacrificed more of themselves then they would have ever thought to. There are exceptions to that rule, I've seen plenty who danced clean, made good money and didn't get caught up in the whole crazy mess that world entails.

I dated 2 over the 5yrs I managed, sex is/was measured on the connection more than the person so really can't say that by being a Stripper the expectation should or is that you would be better than anyone else.

So ultimately I would not date a stripper based on what I know goes on inside the club, not because I think they are a bad person but they get numb to having strangers hands on them and by way of that would not be able to honor the relationship the way I think it should be. Just my 2 cents
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 253 (view)
 
A debate about blowjobs
Posted: 10/13/2012 8:27:10 AM
LMAO what F'ing man gets suspicious or even cares if a blowjob is TOO good.....wtfever!!!


We're all sluts of a sort, whoopty doo!!


I've only had 1 person that I was intimate with who I would considering giving a "too good" bj and it wasn't that it was awesome, lengthy, covered all areas etc. But she could suck with such pressure that I'd blow my load any time she darn well felt she was ready for it. I had NO control over when I came, if she wanted it to be over n done with quick then it was AND the orgasm was as intense as I've felt...ever.



btw...she was a slut and I know this...but who cares
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
I have an idea! Tell me what you think!
Posted: 10/12/2012 2:24:04 PM
I reply to things like that 99% of the time, but that's me and usually its because the "flirter's" profile clearly says they drink/smoke or other while mine clearly says "I don't and am looking for the same".

Regardless of their other activities, ethnicity, height, weight etc. but I get where you're coming from and in a perfect world people would man/woman up.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Do you believe in this saying?
Posted: 10/12/2012 2:19:32 PM
Its really unavoidable to look/see, unless you want to come off as some kind derranged person in your attempt to NOT see anything.

Do I want a partner intentionally gawking or making an effort to look, of course not, but otherwise its gonna happen so I guess I'm in the "Yes" column
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Does this make me racist?
Posted: 10/11/2012 11:47:26 AM
First and foremost, he's the same race as you - human! Secondly as others have stated, you found an interest in him...HIM, not his skin tone or ethnical background. So there it is in a nutshell, you have an interest but have never dated or been on a date with someone of that or any other ethnicity so of course there will be doubts/questions leading up to it. Hell we all have them whether its a different ethnicity, height or just someone new that we don't really know to well.


Go with it and as others have said, ya might wanna do some work on your thinking ;-)
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
am i being mislead?
Posted: 10/6/2012 8:53:26 AM
jerk? lol as though you know him


As already stated - OP's profile states "looking for nothing serious", we don't know if they have even discussed exclusivity or how they approach dating and lastly OP hasn't even talked to the guy yet AND is snooping on him to boot.

Someone in this equation has issues and needs to work that out before they unleash themselves on another person....
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Just made plans to meet and user deleted her account ??
Posted: 9/29/2012 6:47:35 AM
also OP, take it from another man's perspective -


Like me, maybe once she's met someone online and agreed to meet she choses to temporarily make herself unavailable to see where it leads. So rather than just hide the profile, she deletes it to prevent any temptation on her part to continue browsing or being browsed.

I don't divide my attention amongst several women at one time as I feel it's not fair to anyone involved and she may approach it the same ;-)
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Could I have fallen for him in just 2 dates?
Posted: 5/16/2012 2:28:03 PM
I agree with "you messed up having sex on 1st/2nd date" but having said that, it may have been much earlier. His reaction while normal for someone who WASNT online, is typical for a douchebag person who got caught. Defense is their best offense as it gives them a reason to cutoff contact and just reaffirms in their shitty little brains that they got what they wanted and are righteous in doing so because look how "you/they" behaved.


It's one thing to develop strong feelings about the possibilities after 2 dates, but totally falling for someone..........it was just the sex!

If I were I wouldn't because as stated above, I've already gotten 2 dates/2sexcapades. Being who I am though, (a) I'd have not had sex (b) am a grown man and being asked if I'm lying is NOT being called a liar but I'd still have a small issue with the hinting around being called a liar (c) would depend on how I felt things went after the 2 dates.



Just read OP's last post - during your phone conversation he said "why would you miss a liar" then "don't worry about it, its in the past" <---PASSIVE AGRESSIVE BULLSH*T ALARM!!!!!!! Seriously, move on
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
awkward questions: a little advice
Posted: 5/16/2012 10:24:30 AM
Just because she sent one message, doesn't mean you've met and therefore your response wasn't in anyway out of line. If she took offense to it, then she is wound FAR too tightly.

You could try the more vague approach "no maam, but maybe this message means my luck is changing! How are you?" something like that.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 54 (view)
 
And THIS is the primary reason I hate dating..
Posted: 5/15/2012 2:49:00 PM
First off, you didn't HAVE to push for sex....she apparently was ready & willing <---she invited you back to her place on 1st date, she sat close to you(sharing personal space ON A DATE), she initiated the romance by her eying your lips and confirmed it by "I wondered when you were gonna do that" and lastly she made no comment or effort to stop the makeout session progressing to...."if you keep this up, you're not gonna want to leave".

So you didn't do yourself any favors by getting up and leaving in my opinion.


As for setting up a weeks worth of dates - sure one can say you have to try on a bunch of pants to find the one that fits best....then what kind of a douchebag are you if you hit it off with one and then cancel on 3-4 others? Seriously, think more about the other people involved in this MASS DATING approach. If you're twisted up because she didn't/hasn't texted you right back, imagine how many tears you'd shed if you were cancelled on.

...goodness
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Dating a lovely guy but he doesn't know my real age :(
Posted: 5/15/2012 10:15:12 AM
His reason for not dating someone that young is..............drum roll..............cuz he doesn't want to deal with dumba$$ behavior like you & friends are exhibiting!!!


Seriously, hard for us all not to hate on you just a wee bit all things considered. You tell us he thinks your older because a friend thought so(but doesn't know), your profile says you're not 19, your roomie alters passport copy.......and you're only 19........you have YEARS N YEARS to meet "Mr. Right".


Start being a lil more mature RIGHT NOW, by telling this guy all the bulls**t you've been portraying since day 1.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Odd situation...
Posted: 5/9/2012 9:13:59 AM
So you ALREADY hung out with her 1 on 1, you ALREADY initiated romantic contact.....so what is the question?


You aren't going to get a pair from these forums, you aren't going to get a decent set of standards for behavior from these forums and you definitely aren't here for advice on how you should proceed because you've already made those decisions by your noted actions.


Have another drink n get laid......cuz that's what you're thinking and where you're heading
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Found out he has a double life
Posted: 5/9/2012 8:51:29 AM
go to the Sunday morning mass, sit in the back, midway through start walking up the aisle calling his name firmly but not too loudly. When it goes quiet and he has his eyes locked on you ask "Why did you lie about being a therapist, getting degree'd outside the state of Texas, what are you doing with an online profile.....MINISTER!!!??"


Or take the high road and let it go
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Guys hitting on your girlfriend in bars etc - curious to see what guys / girls make of this?
Posted: 5/8/2012 8:52:02 AM

Why weren't YOU the one dancing with your girl friend?

Why were you just noticing this stuff "out of the corner of your eye"?

Maybe if you were a little more attentive, guys would know that you were together.

BTW: other women would also know that YOU were with someone. Or would that be a problem for you?



WTF is that about???? Girls like to dance with their girlfriends



@OP

Sounds like you handle that situation very well, giving her space and letting her actions speak for her and letting her enjoy the time out not only with you but with her friends. Sounds like you both have winners!!! Sadly there are men who regardless of whether you were dancing with her would still be douchebags and approach her, then on the reverse women who despite being their with a date or their BF would behave entirely inappropriate with said dbags.

Kudos to you both
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Should I settle?
Posted: 5/7/2012 9:21:02 AM
Better to hear "pretty face" then be referred to as "buttaface"!!

Others have it right - (A) NEVER settle (B) your mindset is the problem


I was large as a teen so NEVER got any attention, except when girlfriends needed a bighearted shoulder to cry on and would then hear "why can't more guys be like you"!! When it comes to your heart....never settle
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Really??
Posted: 5/7/2012 9:02:00 AM
freakin hilarious that everyone says "all men want sex" or "all men want is sex".....it goes both ways so lets just be clear. Landra hit the nail on the head!

I've had the same problem as the OP- sure I like sex, yes its a wonderful thing(at the right time/with the right person), but I don't immediately want to jump in the sack with someone. But have had a date end with them trying to force the issue - imagine how they felt when I stuck to my guns and said "no".

Ultimately, I get your frustration OP but know.....you aint alone and it isn't just men or ALL men
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Is he being serious?
Posted: 5/7/2012 7:58:36 AM
There are people of all types out there, but the real question is.....Since it obviously gives you pause, what do you think about it and is it acceptable to you & what you want in a relationship?

I am the same as you, I would think (especially early on) that a date/love interest would at least keep in contact throughout the week at the very least to say hello/good night. It's one thing if you live in the same town and may have the chance to see each other more often, but when there is some distance like this then the line of communication is even more important.

I wouldn't go so far as to say he's not interested, definitely think something is up and you should communicate with him. Approach it from a learning perspective "How do you feel about communication, are you ok with less and how do you feel about more?" Something to get his perspective without it causing a defensive reaction.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Action girls
Posted: 5/2/2012 7:55:01 AM

You should see how fast I can mop a floor and my daring, death defying nappy changing skills.





send me pics!!!
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Photo's and SUNGLASSES
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:46:11 AM
how about maybe......the person isn't so vain as to take a lot of self-portraits and at the time those pics were taken they were in direct sunlight?

Stating someone is trying to "hide their identity" just because they're wearing sunglasses in a picture (which 99% of people wear them)......is F N RETARDED!!!

God people get a life
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Decent Men
Posted: 4/25/2012 10:34:53 AM
forget all the part-time philosophizers and their "sounds good, so I'll post it" theories.


Your picker may only be brokoen if you're only selecting with your eyes, rather than a combination of what you see + taking the time to get a feel for the person BEFORE you make a final decision with your heart/mind.


We are all guilty at some point if not more frequently of leading with our wants(hearts) and totally duct taping our brains when it comes to finding someone of the opposite sex to date or be involved with. So don't beat yourself up about it, just put YOU in a higher priority and don't budge on what you want/need from a partner...but take the time to find it before you just open your heart right away.

In the world today, there are waaaaay too many influences against a good moral fiber - dumb dating reality shows, mtv in general, Housewives of _____fill in the blank, exploitation of kids(sports/acting/singers/beauty pageants etc - yes even if its what the kid wants to do). Its all about the fast score - be it in finance or relationships. Also keep in mind that if some women didn't respond agreeably to these types of guys then you might not have the problem currently. Stick to your guns and don't stop trying
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Cheaters are people too
Posted: 4/24/2012 3:01:37 PM
You offered no example of NOT cheating, so once a cheater always a cheater DOES apply to the story you dished up. Not hating on you, just stating.

All the "I know I deserved it" and "don't need nor are looking for sympathy" statements just show you know right from wrong, but apparently you chose to be ALL ABOUT YOU! So the question is, will you/have you truly turned over a new leaf and decided to go back to being a good person.


Nothing you say here can prove it, only your actions in real life can my friend.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Foreign woman who contacted me: Red flag?
Posted: 4/23/2012 9:01:33 AM
cut to the chase - ask her about her parents, siblings, grandparents etc. That's usually the catch "My parents died when I was young and I moved with my grandparents who live in .....(you guessed it) Nigeria"!!!
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
My attractive female Co-worker doesn't take no for an answer..
Posted: 4/23/2012 8:18:46 AM

Considering that you're the same person who started this silly thread...



I'm not single..Is complementing women online considered cheating??

Some women have messaged me back calling me a cheater, or disrespectful, for complementing them, since I am not single.. My gf works odd hours so i dont see her during regular hours usually. I will come online sometimes and start conversation, I dont think thats wrong, just conversation... nothing wrong with complimenting.. some girls are still chatting with me, even though they know about my status. Just wondering if u think im doing wrong..


Quit being an ass to your girlfriend.



In total agreement!! This is a DATING site, if you're involved with someone then complimenting/chatting with ladies on here IS bad form any way you look at it.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
The guy is seeing someone else but still wants to meet me..
Posted: 4/21/2012 4:19:51 PM
why ask why? seriously


Even with the little time invested texting, look at the behavior the 1 time you're gonna talk on the phone and the treatment you received. I'd delete the number from my phone, not respond to any future texts because he/his friends just proved their dbags and would go on about my merry way.


Good gracious please don't tell me this is an honest question......
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
seeking advice on someone
Posted: 4/20/2012 11:50:00 PM

nerdy/shy



Says it all to me. He never asked you out, even though he later admitted that he had had a thing for you. He's not very experienced at the dating thing, so probably ran "what ifs" through his mind til it drove him bonkers and decided that rather than possibly face a "what if" situation were he to start dating you seriously it was better to keep things where they are.

That's what I took from everything said and agree that you can't force him to change his mind but you may be able to plant some seeds in your conversations.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 100 (view)
 
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 12:13:01 PM
this is one of those threads that should have remained at 1 post.......seriously
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
How Old Are You 12!
Posted: 4/18/2012 8:30:24 AM
Sounds to me like the OP has more feelings then she is letting on otherwise this situation would be a non-issue. Secondly, yes I know we all need to bounce things off someone now n again but; you're old enough & experienced enough to have your own thoughts on how you are referred to by a FWB/BF/Male Acquaintence etc.


So what's the real problem?
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
work
Posted: 4/18/2012 8:11:03 AM

People can get rejected for all kinds of reasons here. I am sure there are many many ladies out there you would refuse to date for whatever reason...... how about TOO UGLY?? There's a good one.

So what you are saying is just like, "as soon they see I'm ugly they are gone. than they will still be on here for months still looking. if i found the right one yes i might get some plastic surgery but for now you stay where you are at times are tough."

So they don't want to date a trucking f#cker, and that much at least seems consistent. Should we guess about the reasons?? I don't know! Let's see what are the stereotypes about that.... Girly mudflaps, cabs full of porno magazines, weeks away from home, truck stop hookers, etc. All sorts of suspicious stuff. Whatever. 10-4 good buddy.

You are deliberately vague about your profession. So maybe they saw the B-mer in the well-manicured yard and ended up simply feeling deceived, or let down. Why would you post THAT picture, instead of you standing in front of your rig? Socio-economic class is important to people although it is generally considered rude to say so, but everyone hopes to date up. Most will settle for more or less equivalent, based on whatever their perceptions are about that. So your best chance is to be perceived as somebody's "up".


WTF? You use a socio-economic reference after commenting about the pic of his bmw.....so that alone is baffling. On top of that where the F did ya come up with the ugly rhetoric and how was it in anyway relevant to OPs question? As for the stereo-type BS, that may be how YOU twist things up but again is relevant how??

@OP
I can't speak for those women, some of it may be perception that a truck driver spends long hours or even days on the road and therefore to them, are not as available for dating/relationship. It could also be that the common view of that profession tends to be less than attractive for the average person. You may want to mention it in your profile, explain the time you have to focus on a relationship or the willingness you have to take a more local job if you meet someone that you'd like to pursue a serious longterm relationship with.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Sex texting questions
Posted: 4/17/2012 3:01:30 PM
oh so because a woman reveals a lil skin, its ok for us men to spontaneously behave like cavemen? Where have I heard this dumba$$ defense before???
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
dumped for lack of experience
Posted: 4/17/2012 11:23:40 AM
I was a late bloomer simply due to the fact that I was a BIG kid, got into drinking/drugs in my teens and although there were plenty of females in that scene....I wasn't attractive on the outside. I was the shoulder to cry on when their BF's douchebagged them and was always told "why can't guys be like you"...???

So I got a late start as well, well into my 20's to be exact and for a time I dwelled on that too much so it caused me to be gun shy and cost me a few opportunities with some very good women. Ultimately I learned to just be honest and if my inexperience was deal breaker then I felt that was their issue not mine, their loss not mine.


.....but I never did have someone say "Ewww you're a newbie at this, no thanks!!!" otherwise I'd still be laughing to this day.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 29 (view)
 
if someone views your profile
Posted: 4/17/2012 11:05:18 AM
They may have wanted a closer look than what they could see from Match /Chemistry or Meet Me page shows and then after reading the profile determined there were differences that they didn't want to chance.

We look at the opposite sex all the time in public and aren't then approached by that person or we don't approach them. No different here, we're fishing :D
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Sex texting questions
Posted: 4/17/2012 10:44:58 AM
earlier on in this thread there was mention of OP's profile pics......but I'm not sure why. Sure there's 1 where she's bending forward and you can see a lil cleavage....big freakin whoop.


I think the big issue here is the assumption he took from a few dates and some smooching. Now if there was more than just smooching - ie a lil touchy feely, maybe some adult oriented discussions....then I don't see it as a big deal but based on the information we HAVE been given....his actions are douchebagish at the very least.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 3633 (view)
 
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/16/2012 7:52:10 AM
I'd say .....possibly


If were were already dating when she hit me with it but we were already doing "other things" in the sexual arena - then yes. For me, the emotion of "in love" is not only how I feel about the person she is but also the romantic connection we have so its a combination for me.


If she hit me with it on the first date, then my question would be about the above - is it just about intercourse or is she flexible to be willing to do other things. If she isn't then I would respect her wishes and wish her the best...respectfully.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Tell me about yourself.
Posted: 4/14/2012 12:11:21 PM
Its like, like and if like like ya know like really like is sooooo like like
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Tell me about yourself.
Posted: 4/11/2012 2:32:59 PM
stick to those beliefs but



Let go of your anger, it leads to the darkside!
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Tell me about yourself.
Posted: 4/11/2012 8:11:07 AM
I just think there's FAAAAR to much concern about something that's really not a big issue. Yea if they're asking specific things that are already on your profile then they're lame/didn't read your profile in the first place and probably shouldn't be given further consideration.

whether it would take you 10yrs to explain who you are or not, the question is just to get the other person to share more about themselves because no profile will encompass ALL of you.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Tell me about yourself.
Posted: 4/10/2012 4:20:10 PM

so will the response to this question not as well be "written and not the real thing"? Could a person write out in a message about themselves any more than they would write on their profile?

If a person cant describe themselves well enough in a profile what brings one to think they could or would explain themselves any better in a message???

In any event, I spent a lot of time and kind of poured my heart out into my profile. To be asked "tell me about yourself" and forced to reinerate what is written in my profile would kind of be an insult.


While I appreciate that you say you spent a lot of time/effort in creating your profile, someone reading it may not get the same feelings as what is put into it.....because it is pre-formed and not spontaneous (as I'd stated in my orig post). Having a realtime conversation with someone, even in text/chat, is not the same as a profile. Hence my example of an advertisement of a product doesn't give you a good enough idea of interest as actually seeing/using said product.

P.S. being insulted because someone wants the interaction with you rather than just taking a profile's word, is a bit egotistical and shortsighted.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 198 (view)
 
Too small for a condom !?! Then What???
Posted: 4/10/2012 9:02:45 AM
Why is it always the guy & condoms protecting YOU via safe sex? what assurances does he(we) have that you aren't totting around some wicked form of crotch crickets??? I just find it curiously funny that it always falls on the man is all :D.

As for being too small for a condom - maybe ask him if he's willing to be tested for safety sake? Or just take a chance? I mean have you never had unprotected sex before, prolly not so how could you have been certain those other partners where rockin your world with a clean bill of health? hmmm
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Tell me about yourself.
Posted: 4/9/2012 4:31:45 PM
In that case. someone is confused about what ``well written'' means. How coud a profile be well written if it fails to convey what it's supposed to convey? What other standard would define ``well written?''




....so you are saying you could fall in love with someone based solely on their profile & pic? Or you'd buy a car or piece of eletronics simply because the ad was awesome? A profile is just an ad selling the human who wrote it, but no matter how well written it is it still not going to be an accurate rendition of the person writing it...BECAUSE ITS WRITTEN and not the real thing.


really wasn't that hard to get from a-b, was it??



That kind of profile leaves out things like: "I'm needy!"; "I've got a laugh like a dying hyena, and I laugh constantly!"; "I think that flirting means being coy and cool!"


thank you for your understanding and making me laffsnort at "dying hyena"
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Tell me about yourself.
Posted: 4/9/2012 10:43:41 AM
Here's my experience/use of asking that, hope it's helpful in some way.


Most times even the best written profiles don't divulge someone's personality or much about the REAL them, I mean it's written so lacks quite a bit from the word go. I love communicating and having that bond/connection or whatever you'd like to call it, with someone I'm interested in so if I feel the texting/emailing is at a lull then I will ask a question like that to urge them to open up or give them free rein to tell me anything.


Some times the spontaneous answers, even if they repeat some of whats on the profile; give us a better feeling about someone's personality, character or just give us a better feel altogether. Wouldn't you rather someone ask you that and show an interest versus someone who didn't want to know more about you?
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
oh now he wants to date
Posted: 4/9/2012 10:13:58 AM
It's an undeniable fact - we are initially attracted on what we see. So all these people saying that if he didn't like you enough before but does now, is BS....well I'd bet a good number of them have either declined someone who's contacted them on POF because of their size or in their "search pararmeters" don't select - Large/Overweight or even A Few Extra Pounds.


It comes down to you dear, how does it make you feel and is it acceptable if this is the reason why he's taken another interest in you. Are you ok with the fact that many/most people are physically attracted first, meaning how you look versus what type of person you are?

..no it doesn't make us feel better about ourselves(I've always been a bigger guy) and no it doesn't seem right.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 116 (view)
 
Sneaky Pete Pulled Off the Condom...
Posted: 4/7/2012 8:37:40 AM
regardless of what anyone thinks: Both people have blame for the near miss and am thankful for you that it didn't end in a way you didn't want (ie with a child).

Yes he is a douchebag for his actions and is another fine example of people in the world today - not just men.

Yes I think you were right for ending the relationship with a douchebag.

Yes you had a part in it beyond having pre-marital sex, since not getting preggers was a high priority and the use of condoms was as well, a simple reach down to feel would have stopped things right there.

In any situation like this where we still have control of our faculties and have the ability to be sure, any negative outcomes we may end up experiencing are in part, our fault as well as other parties involved.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
How do I get the courage..
Posted: 4/4/2012 2:46:13 PM
will judge me because of my weight



Change your body type to a few extra or BBW, and leave it at that



I'm shy



Are we looking at the same profile? I see the profile pic of a young, thin, buxom woman......so I call BS.
 
Show ALL Forums