I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags? chat & forums.

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Thread: I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 311 (view)

I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags? Posted: 11/7/2009 8:55:02 AM
Independence, like one's sex drive and wallet size, should never need be stated. If someone points to the fact they are independent, be it digitally here or across the first date table, it's a turn off and a borderline lie. A classy, independent woman (I suppose man as well) should never need to point this out. I should be able to determine it myself.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Shoot Guns on a first date!! Posted: 8/18/2009 11:57:34 PM
If the date also involves going to health care town hall meetings with said guns I would consider refraining

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Excessive ejaculation Posted: 8/1/2009 10:53:06 PM
DO NOT TRY AIMING AT THE CEILING why not? free stucco!

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

It was my fault, but I want him back. Posted: 8/1/2009 6:57:31 PM
Perhaps you should reconsider enrolling

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

It was my fault, but I want him back. Posted: 8/1/2009 6:38:10 PM
School starts again in September right? Pass him a note in homeroom and be done with it or something.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

TV Shows your Match Posted: 8/1/2009 6:21:35 PM
Most TV blows. That said, the greatest show of all time is the Simpsons and I watch even if I've seen it and can quote the episode verbatim. Beyond that, Daily Show, news, hockey and the greatest non animated show of all time - Top Gear on BBC. Such a guy huh?

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

The Five Minute Date Posted: 8/1/2009 12:46:27 PM
OP, you handled it with class, well done. I would have gone back to the bar, ordered a shot or two of the finest, priciest scotch and charged it to thier table. In slight defense, us lawyers can be a clueless bunch at times, esp amonst our peers but the silencing finger is rude and shows a complete lack of respect. If I knew you personally, on behalf of the legal community I'd gladly buy you a half pint of Guiness.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

She said / He said - actual non POF date Posted: 8/1/2009 12:23:12 PM
I'm Korean and even we don't drive Kia's Ha ha, zing! OP if you are such a smart person with cash flow why not buy a Honda or a Toyota with some actual resale value, not something whose main competitors should be Reebok or Nike as walking is the only real alternative to a Kia. What, you trade up from a GEO or something?

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Pornography... How prevalent is it's usage? Posted: 7/30/2009 10:00:31 PM
Same desires, new technologies. It's so accesible these days. Why, I could watch some porn right now.... "New Tab (Ctrl+T)" Oh ya.... Be right back....

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Must have car and job=gold digger? Posted: 7/24/2009 12:47:35 AM
I have met my share of gold diggers. I am rather well off and can afford all the toys but in general don't like to flaunt and have always believed keeping a low profile. Funny enough I own a honda and one of my assistants has a lexus. We went out and it was hilarious how many women flocked to him and thought he was my boss. We got a kick out of it. Anyway, nothing wrong with a woman looking to invest in a rich counterpart. Her payment is her looks and talents and she should be ready for the wealthy gent to dispose of her once her end of the investment begins to carry less value. If you want to approach it as a transaction, disclose all and treat it as a giving of value for value.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 255 (view)

Why is no head an automatic turn off for guys Posted: 7/14/2009 3:11:54 PM
you continue to tell me there is something wrong with ME because I dare ask you why you insist on a BJ! After reading some of your salvos Judy, this is the least thing wrong with you. This thread is more entertaining than oral sex. Maybe you don't swallow cum as you are used to the bitterness coming out of you rather then the other way round.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 219 (view)

Why is no head an automatic turn off for guys Posted: 7/13/2009 10:28:26 PM
Judy you suck! Er, well I suppose maybe not.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Rotten luck Posted: 1/5/2009 12:52:43 AM
I agree you should always use a rubber Failing that, in this case one withdrawal would have saved you multiple withdrawals of $800 over the course of 216 months. Just saying...

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

I like you so much I can't sleep with you... Posted: 1/4/2009 10:15:41 PM
About only having sex once she is in love with the guy, she then goes to mexico and spreads her legs for the first guy that buys her a drink. What if it was an all-inclusive resort. Yikes. You did the right thing buddy. Z

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Opinion needed!!! Posted: 1/4/2009 7:43:38 PM
Stay away. One red flag is one more than necesary. In other words, even an iota of doubt should be enough for you not to go until you know him better via phone, email, etc.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 68 (view)

Racism in Dating Posted: 1/4/2009 7:12:40 PM
Never experienced racism per se, but I have experienced prejudice in the form of religious discrimination (Muslim by birth). It's actually happened three times here, and this is after meeting the person! Especially within my own race which is even moreso odd. Essentially, the girl (who would be Hindu, Sikh or Christian Indian, first gen Canadian like yours truly) and I get along but families forbid it. Since I can understand that somewhat, probing deeper with these ladies has provided me with a littany of reasons as to why you should never date a Muslim, and I was floored - shocked to my core that these prejudices still exist and hey, 9/11 didn't exactly help. In the aforementioned case, the girl and I got on well so when she told me she could not see me anymore because I was Muslim (realistically I'm agnostic at best and a very liberal moderate Muslim at worst) I was very confused. The old me would have fought against this cultural malaise and would have proven that love can conquer all prejudices. The current me is so busy as not to be bothered. If the family can't accept it due to serious misgivings about my heritage, I'm not gonna play Holden Caulfield in a khaffiya and try to capture these pursuits. I don't think its fair to position myself between love and family over something so trivial as religion (especially if both parties are not religious). So ya OP, I kinda see where ur coming from and advise you to ignore those who hate. As for everyone else, always remember that any religion has fanatics and those who commit unspeakable acts. All cultures have nuances that us in the West would find backwards and barbaric. But not all of us are cut from that cloth and especially within the Islamic community, there are a large number of moderate, tolerant liberals.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Did I Overreact?? Posted: 12/31/2008 3:53:03 AM
You completely overreacted. Had you done what was asked you would be rich like me - only two more weeks and 3 more payments till I get my hands on that sweet Nigerian oil money! Your naievity is your undoing I suppose....

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 173 (view)

do men like to be approached first? Posted: 12/29/2008 9:55:34 PM
I always maintained that if a woman approached me and asked me out for a date/dinner/drink etc I would say yes because I know how hard it can be sometimes for a man. For a woman to do it, even this day and age, that takes balls (which I hope shes dosen't turn out to have). So no matter what I think of said woman, I'd say yes.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Advice? Please? Posted: 12/29/2008 9:18:43 PM
How much advice do you need? Go to Newfoundland, pretty simple. Under law, your unborn child is under your care and thus whichever province it ulitmately is born in it becomes that provinces resident. If you ex cares, he will visit. Even if the child is born here and you take it back to the rock, he cannot stop you if you can prove that the support structure and opportunity you have in NF is enough to warrant the decision being made in the best interest of the child. Your ex to combat this would need to prove under paternity test he is the father and that he can provide the better (not the same) resources here in Ontario. Even then, the weight of legal opinion still falls in your favour and whichever provicial law you take it under, it will have a similar effect in whichever province you settle in (that is a constitutional right of mobility). So you have nothing to worry about - go home, leave the city. Serious leave, juice the Newfs welfare rolls, not ours.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 461 (view)

For the Men Over 30 Posted: 12/29/2008 4:47:08 PM
Amen natedredd08 As for me, single, 33, never married, no dependants, had a few significant relationships but also opted to educate myself, build my career, enjoy life and acquire some global experiences and material goods. Nothing wrong with that. Z

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Is there a double standard here? Posted: 12/29/2008 4:24:37 PM
Ha ha golfgirl - I'm in Canada but one of my fav shows is Top Gear and when I first heard it I wondered how is this not censored. Then I thought it was the UK way of saying d1ck, but ur description above helps clarify it further, thanks.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 153 (view)

Tall women Posted: 12/29/2008 4:16:35 PM
I couldn't date a woman taller than me, it's not intimidating as one of my closest women friends is taller than me and I'm not scared. I suppose I don't find it very feminine and as I like being able to envelop myself around my woman, a tall woman doesn't allow for that. Mind you, I'm 6'1" myself so the problem has never really arisen (no pun intended).

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

what is the strangest thing you have encountered on POF? Posted: 12/28/2008 11:08:36 PM
what is the strangest thing you have encountered on POF? Here's a doozy. I met this girl on POF about 6 months ago. She is now my girlfriend and I absolutely adore her. Weird huh? Happy New Year AI

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 193 (view)

I said NO to sex on the first date...what do you think? Posted: 12/15/2008 11:47:11 PM
You did the right thing my friend, good for you. The nerve of that woman! Matter of fact, give me her number, I'll set her straight....

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

BAD DATING EXPERIENCES Posted: 11/25/2008 9:11:31 PM
but I will prey for any of u out there who may have daughters, sisters aunts mothers and so on ...what an odd choice of words

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 106 (view)

Why do tall big men want tiny women ? Posted: 10/13/2008 10:34:38 PM
If in every other aspect of your relationship you see eye to eye and smile to smile, would you not be the same height? That said, I am 6'1" 250 lbs and my girlfriend is 5'1" and prob 110 soaking wet. Works out very very very well.....

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Which condoms do you prefer? Posted: 10/6/2008 11:05:38 PM
Super thin polyurethane condoms - the name eludes me but the sensation is much less dulled than with latex. Worth the extra cost (usually 3-5x more than latex brands)

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Women who like to dress Men as Women Posted: 10/6/2008 11:01:51 PM
Well Halloween is coming up.....

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 134 (view)

birthday blow job Posted: 7/25/2008 11:38:22 PM
Deck the balls, Oh cum all ye faithful, the seven joys of mary, all I want for christmas between my two front teeth - the list goes on....

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 132 (view)

birthday blow job Posted: 7/25/2008 11:13:36 PM
Most people blow out candles on thier birthday, but oh well I think the best gift would be whist deep throating sing (or hum I guess) "Happy Birthday to You" - now that would be hot. Would work with Christmas carols too I s'pose.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

car, trucks, jeeps or whatever make someone look sexy. Posted: 7/25/2008 10:59:34 PM
Well they have the Jeep YJ and TJ, maybe you can inquire about the Jeep KY for you

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

He brought his Fanny with him... Posted: 7/25/2008 10:34:27 AM
Maybe he isn't good around women cause he's gay - ya know, a fannypacker.... Oh and BTW abandonedbycupid, wow, quite the fine woman yet so far away. I would love to fly down and meet you, but where on earth would I store my wallet, passport, car keys, phone. Oh wait, i'll just put it in my, er, in my....ah dammit Serious, I completly think you're in the right here

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

He brought his Fanny with him... Posted: 7/25/2008 9:50:02 AM
And love kissing him even more. When my eyes are shut and we are kissing...I wouldn't even know if he had a fanny pack. Oh I think you would when you are asking yourself is my man aroused or that a keys for his 92 Toyota Cressida in his fanny pack? A fanny pack on the first date if not worn for a sense of irony is inexcusable. Z

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

He brought his Fanny with him... Posted: 7/25/2008 9:41:59 AM
Ok I'm with the OP here. What's gonna turn up on date two - MC Hammer pants? Those baseball caps with the gaudy, shiny faux-metal plates that say "New York" or "Los Angeles"? Maybe it turns out you met an Iraq War vetran - albeit the first Iraq War. So fashion sense aside, lets give him the benefit of the doubt and says he made a faux pas. If he can't see the humour and the joke in it (provided you're not being overly mean about it), then you need to ascertain the other qualities as fashion sense is clearly not one of them. I'm no fashionista, but geez a 1990's fanny pack? If the fanny pack shopping second date doesn't work out, you can just always curl up on the couch and watch Arsenio I s'pose. OK got all my 90s references out Cowabunga! Z

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Strangest place you have ever been asked out on a date ? Posted: 7/21/2008 9:55:26 PM
Mine was on a glorious summer day stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the Don Valley Parkway (an expressway in Toronto). At the freeway enterance I noticed a beautiful woman in a new VW Bug convertable, pretty nicely dressed (the car and the girl). We made eye contact and smiled right as traffic ground to a halt and we were next to each other in our respective lanes. I was next to her checking out the very nice 19" rims on her bug and looked at her and said "that is very hot, very sexy - and the car is nice too". She laughed and we chatted for 20-30 seconds and traffic moved forward then stopped, we chatted again. This pattern continued for an hour and about 8km (5mi) when I looked ahead and saw traffic moving. She was a few car lengths ahead so I grabbed my business card, wrote "Dinner?" on the back, picked up some speed and tossed it into he car and smiled and moved on. Got an email at work (address on the card) stating she had a boyfriend but that was the most fun she had in traffic in awhile. I was inclined to agree.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 100 (view)

would guys date a female cop? Posted: 7/19/2008 2:53:41 AM
And get rid of my NWA CD's - never! Serious, lets put the shoe on the other foot. To the OP and a few other ladies who are studying to be officers themselves. Would you date a man who has done time for a non-violent crime but since then has cleaned and reformed himself to entirety (sp?)? Oh, and would you date a lawyer - one who specialty is undermining your work in court? (btw, thats not me - I'm in corp law)

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

Bizarrely Dangerous Posted: 7/19/2008 1:54:09 AM
Ha ha, if you're reading this thread look up to the banner in your IE window (i.e. that blue bar at the very top displaying what web page you are at) - it says "Bizarrely Dangerous Free Dating, Singles and Personals". Made me chuckle but hey, it's 5am and I'm studying for the Bar Exam so I gotta find my laughs wherever I can.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Being a gentleman, going slow. Is it the kiss of death? Posted: 7/6/2008 9:07:58 PM
I think that there are a lot of verbal and non-verbal clues women give off and even us men can give off on a date that would give you a good indication. Know how to read them, know how to make them and go from there. It's a learning process and by far with me is incomplete - but learning it has helped a great deal.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Girlfriend not affectionate Posted: 7/6/2008 9:02:54 PM
My ex was like this. I knew she loved me but was utterly unaffectionate in private (in public I understand cause this makes me uncomfortable as well). The result - I stopped trying, I became unaffectionate and I became a person I was not. I thought I could deal with it, but I could not. There were some other issues for our break up but ultimately this was a big reason. The important lesson I learned is that not all women are like that and if you are an affectionate man (as I can be), suppression is very difficult and eventually toxic. Just my $0.02

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 892 (view)

Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships? Posted: 7/6/2008 8:51:54 PM
Spot on thewritechick. It seems that way to me too. Ironic that we are presented with more access to information and more mediums to broadcast ourselves but we seem to get dumber as a result. Not everyone, but look around - listen to some of the snippets of mindless chatter that cross our paths everyday. Question it and you can feel ostracised (sp?). Seems like many have lost thier voice to question and analyze the information we have presented to this, we are content being spoon-fed. I guess reading some of these posts and actually have met some of the people on here I am refreshed to know there are still some who question and dig deeper. thewritechick - why do you live so far away - I'd love to share these thoughts over PB&J outta the same jar (that I haven't seen yet).

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 70 (view)

Asian/Black dating does it happen? Posted: 6/29/2008 10:59:44 PM
Are we forgetting Passenger 57, Mr. Always bet on black Wesley Snipes?

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

SEX with Robots within 50 yrs, LOVE will take longer! Posted: 6/29/2008 10:27:40 PM
If you got your robot pregnant or the other way round, would it be artificial insemination?

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Divorced or Never Married...Which is Better? Posted: 5/27/2008 9:16:57 PM
I'm 31 never married - school and career hasn't afforded me the time. If I met a woman in a similar situation, schooling for and building a career; I'd have no problem with it and in fact this would attract me as it's common ground.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Is the nick name important? Posted: 12/2/2007 10:32:01 PM
Mine is a legal term in contract law - refers to something being the case from the start or from the instant of the act. I was in a long relationship that broke up so I am starting over - from the begining or ab initio. Mind you that was a year ago but I still fancy the name. One girl did pick up on it and I was impressed.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 153 (view)

Dating East Indian Men Posted: 11/28/2007 3:04:25 PM
I'm of East Indian descent but born and bred in Toronto Canada. I've dated Indian women and non-Indians alike. Both have advantages and disadvantages. Bottom line if the smile is white and wide, the brain beautiful and gray I really don't care. Truth is I have always been attracted to white women more so then brown. But if she dazzles me, I'm colorblind and preferences easialy fall by the wayside. Besides, this city is a virtual racial Baskin Robbins - why limit to one flavour? Z

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

does a french on a first date = wanting sex? Posted: 11/26/2007 9:06:44 PM
The practical solution would be to reach down and find out the hard truth.

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 145 (view)

hello Posted: 11/26/2007 9:00:22 PM
I went to undergrad in my late-teens/early 20's. Worked in IT for most of my 20's - laid off and went to law school on another continent. Back here getting certified and practise. So now, I work full time (yep, back in IT) while I study part time to get accreditation next year and pay off a massive debt. I'm 31, and if I could replay the choice I made I'd do the same thing. If you're 30+ and back at schooling, I give you all the credit and all the luck in the world. Persevere - f*ck stigma; education is the the best gift and strongest asset you can acquire regardless of age

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 66 (view)

Is Chivalry Dead Posted: 7/9/2007 8:49:27 PM
Chivalry is not dead, I saw him hanging out with sensitivity out by gallantry square

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

A plan to have sex? Posted: 7/9/2007 8:47:07 PM
Plan? Maybe plan a night, but sex is best served spontaneous - you can always reflect and reexamine later, either to each other or the judge

ab initio

Joined: 11/21/2006

Msg: 85 (view)

A Touch of Grey Posted: 7/8/2007 2:27:07 PM
I'm starting to see the greys peak through the black. But, I'm starting to like the idea of the salt and pepper to compliment the rest of the indian spice that is me. Sorry, that was terrible....

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