What are some of your experiences with herpes suppressants? chat & forums.

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Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

What are some of your experiences with herpes suppressants? Posted: 11/2/2009 12:51:44 AM
The blisters themselves can be treated with a variety of remedies and the deal is a whole lot easier for males. Calendula, iodine based ointments, Witch Hazel and anything recommended for childbirth tears will prove soothing. Traditional medicine would suggest avoiding the inflaming/hot foods such as chillies, ginger and the like - however some of these are also supportive of the immune system. Cooling foods such as salads, rockmelons, Rooibos tea and other herbal teas seem to help somewhat. Anger seems to flare up the blisters no end. Colloidal silver may be another alternative, much as some swear by it - I've held off so far, given that it is toxic to some degree.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Would dysfunctional family members be a deal breaker for you? Posted: 11/2/2009 12:22:28 AM
No-one can help their family - but there are, residual effects that will, make their presence felt over time. If the person has had counselling and are consciously aware that their upbringing was not something they want to pass on - well take as it comes. If your intended has not done some very focussed healing and soul searching and has tried to sweep it under the carpet - well no, I would be running. Dysfunctional family members are best dealt with by moving far, far away, changing your name and dropping contact. Criminal paternity tends to lead to conduct disordered children with drug & alcohol problems - sorry but it really is, an inherited tendency. Mothers with mental health issues that can lead to abusive rearing practices - tend to not make the best stock either. Think of the stakes for your future progeny, don't get sidelined from that very real responsibility by a transient, temporary and very high cost itch. Truly don't underestimate the very red glaring warning signs of a bad mob - don't elect to join such a crowd. As for finding out such people are in the network early on - think again, some are smart and rotten enough to be very careful in order to catch someone well above what they should be getting. Run, Run and Run.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

What are some of your experiences with herpes suppressants? Posted: 10/29/2009 12:15:31 AM
Valtrex enables me to have some semblance of my former life but it hasn't lifted my health levels enough much beyond daily survival. It is now past the 2 year mark and the non-stop blistering etc has only now finally eased off - but I think few people experience this whilst on the high level dosage. Olive Leaf Oil extract helps to reduce the Herpes migraine and goes some way to relieving the chronic fatigue effect. My natropath prescribes a mixture to try counteract the liver effects of the Valtrex, although the herbal mix helps me to walk and has improved cognitive functioning we are still trying to get a mix that will let me work again. There are an extensive range of Chinese Herbals and if I can get to a reputable herbalist in Asia I am confident I will get a good mixture some day. Shitake mushrooms help. For me, plain simple Copha (Palm Oil) has been an incredible help in relieving the worst of the migraine/surging effects. Google search Chinese herbals + Herpes. Keep trying and don't ever give up. The immune system is also depressed by an environment where people are critical or hostile. Fortunately I am blessed in my current circumstances - but you may really have to consider taking all possible steps to protect your health and immune system. For me, the agony made meditation impossible - but gazing at a pretty picture for a period of time in leui of advanced techniques may be a compromise. I also try to tint the background of any computerised reading to blue - which helps to some degree. The brain rehabilitation can be a long demoralising process - try everything, stretch everything and never give up. As for the effects on the basal ganglia and most especially the limbic system - I am still searching for a way to resume my previous calm. There seems to be very little resistance to even the slightest "stress" - I am really open to some help if anyone has suggestions on this. Best of luck.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 130 (view)

Herpes? Posted: 10/19/2009 11:39:14 PM
Many thanks Kitty for your comments - they are always thoughtful and considerate. Divulging std status on the internet may or may not be someone's preferred means of self identification. First and foremost is the fact that someone with a diagnosis is a human being and with something that is permanent - no-one except the eccentric GP crowd are ever going to be delighted at such a permanent change. Nobody chooses to get herpes - and I repeat there is utterly no protection except for celibacy - it does not respect condoms in the slightest . For those who think - it can't happen to me - marriage and condoms are not a 100% protection at all - 50% of marriages also experience affairs.... With doctors now proudly saying that the Herpes infection rate is now estimated to be 10% that means 3 partners should be enough to get you infected, (accumulated probability odds and the multiplier effect) you are actually more at risk from a long term and repeated exposure... Deliberate std infectors should be regarded as criminals and be legally accountable for causing harm to others - particularly for a high cost and life altering injury such as herpes. I am not aware of any mothers that kiss their babies' genitals... Yes - some people under stress do indeed have a hightened vulnerability to Herpes - so should a deliberate infector have the right to decide for you - just how the rest of your life will be altered? I would say not. The fact is the majority of spreaders of this thing are males - who are not anywhere as badly impacted and affected as females. Unfortunately the majority of doctors are males - they badly need an update and a dose of decency, and some reprimand & accountability from us the general public. We need to really be on the case of these haughty arrogant and ignorant doctors. The further major stumbling block is the lack of honesty and support by the medical profession . Be aware - many people with a delibilitating life altering condition will feel suicidal at some point - we need less stigma and more mutual support and encouragement of others. It is a matter of reeducating people's attitudes - which is why I say the things I do....I guess I am rather passionate on the subject because I very much want change. I don't know that you could really call a passionate committment for change - as 'stress'.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 124 (view)

Herpes? Posted: 10/9/2009 9:27:57 PM
Here is how Herpes works: Decent person visits immoral doctor - doctor patronises intelligent human being who actually has a conscience - refuses to test the person, tells them not to worry and go forth and infect everyone for all they are worth. The infected person - may not even have an outbreak or if they do - the doctor (God bless their little criminally minded hearts - will get as sanctimonious and patronising and as vicious as they possibly know how). Ooh so you are in pain from blisters... try a tea bag Oooh you think you have viral encephalitis - sorry you are still standing (barely) - come back when you have died. Valtrex has been out for 30 years - but gee Doc would rather see you jump in front of a bus than give a prescription that simply puts out the firestorm of pain in your brain and genitals. In the future when doctors have successfully managed to cause a worldwide pandemic and we all end up with having to have caesarian births for our children and we all end up with premature dementia - lets hope the doctors get the most virulent life destroying mutated version of this thing possible. Yes, lets have a worldwide pandemic of a virus that leaves people with a permanent migraine, destroys the basal ganglia, busts up the limbic system, leaves people permanently dizzy, leaves them unable to cope with even the most minor 'stress', leaves them unable to pursue their very careers and livelihoods. Good on you Doc. An invisible disease that is more infectious than Aids, that cannot be protected against unless you remain celibate - a thing that attacks people's brains - wow - everyone should be ever so grateful that the medical profession so hate what is left of the world's workforce in a time of aging population that they want to leave everyone so utterly destroyed. Better yet - you can be deliberately infected - lose all hope of having a relationship, lose so much of your former health, lose so much money on an ongoing basis - and you cannot even charge the criminal who did it to you. No wonder people jump - before you bag another innocent victim of Herpes - make a real consideration a good number of us do indeed feel suicidal. Have a migraine for the rest of your life for free while you are at it - most especially those arrogant XXXXXXX Doctors. When more doctors lose their livelihood and their years of academic study to this thing - perhaps they will change thier tune - in the meantime do your bit and infect a male doctor if you can. Perhaps if they realise we will return their kindness they might just gain a little tiny dose of common humanity.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

What you bring to the table Posted: 10/9/2009 8:02:36 PM
I agree Windroper, finances really are, important. When two people are just starting out with a lifetime of earning potential in front of them - it is a whole different ball game when the importances of savings looms larger in life. The really unfortunate thing about marriage - apart from transmitted diseases etc are sexually transmitted debts. Neither are ever welcome or deserved. When marriage laws are finally reviewed with the outlook that finances really should be separate - marriages will be a whole lot better for all concerned. Yes, your equal partner in life - really should bring equal to the table and not expect to reap the rewards of someone else's lifetime sum benefit of sacrifices and efforts. Team up with a financial cost? I agree bad business. Cold reality is what comes with daylight and awareness - it is a good thing.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 104 (view)

My 18-yr-old son has been stealing from me. Posted: 10/7/2009 2:27:30 AM
Wow, the stigma of being a single mum - in this day and age, unbelievable! How dare a child of a single mum show signs of transition problems growing up! Oh the crime of a single mother working and trying to make ends meet - oh that's right people get welfare because they don't need it for food... I really cannot believe the high and mighty holier than thou attitudes on POF. The reality is folks - children are actually individuals, they turn into adults who aren't necessarily clones of their oh so perfect and faultless parents. I wish we had had some young people adding to this thread - you would've heard many, many young people who said they went through a similiar period of confusion in their life but they were supported, loved and encouraged and came through it. I know what it feels like to be thrown out - there doesn't always have to be some anti-social reason, the bottom line is - it is a last resort and it leaves a young person incredibly vulnerable. What responsible parent is going to throw out 18 years of love, investment and sacrifice in the blink of an eye - what message would that send to a younger child in the family? How secure do you think the younger one's would feel? Please stop bashing single mothers - they are not the cause of all the woes of the world - find another punching bag or get counselling for your own unresolved issues

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

3rd Date - Covered the Basics Posted: 9/15/2009 12:22:27 AM
Its the simple, ordinary things that sometimes mean the most. Cooking a new recipe together, planning a vege garden, learning a new skill together, doing silly sketches in the park with a picnic lunch, challenging each other to exercise matches - even if one lets the other 'win' sometimes. Going for a swim or a paddle for the non-swimmer, going bike riding, making paper aeroplanes or boats, doing the alphabet belly dance, skipping stones, leaving funny post-it-notes, silly things that make you laugh, blowing raspberries on your partner's neck, brushing her hair. Ooh and top of the list for all time - and it costs nothing, the ultra big one... going for a walk and, holding hands some of the time. Free hugs with no strings attached... The best things really are, free.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

What to do with an engagement ring from a past relationship Posted: 8/30/2009 11:34:13 PM
You could get the diamond set into a pendant for a daughter. I had my own remade into earings (bought a matching stone for the other side). I don't see why more men don't wear diamonds. A diamond tie pin (with a safety chain on it) , cuff links, a single stud earing or a man's ring might be a thought. A donation as a raffle item for a charity could be another consideration.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Women picking a fight Posted: 8/29/2009 10:41:24 PM
It doesn't appear to be a gender specific problem. I agree on the earlier posting about the person seeking an adrenalin high. I would add that for an insecure person it could be about personal boundaries, it has dominance/aggression connotations and is probably the hallmark of a frightened confused person who cannot express themselves maturely. It appears to be a fairly widespread and common problem given what I've seen here from postings on POF. I believe this unhealthy behaviour can be addressed when it is called for what it is, an extreme form of attention seeking. Love cannot overcome this problem - a complete refusal to wear unhealthy behaviour towards yourself or those whom you love is the only answer. Too often children are the recipients of such selfish behaviour as well, as a form of displaced aggression/frustration towards an easier target. Advise professional help...as this is probably only the observable tip of the iceberg.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

What does NO BAGGAGE mean? Posted: 8/29/2009 10:16:09 PM
Am I in the wrong place ? I read bagpipes, then I wondered if someone was worried about having to carry too many bags around. Would this mean that shopaholics with too many shoes would present a problem? I guess that means that bag ladies are out? Then I thought about bags under the eyes. Even worse those baggy bulges that hang over some trouser belts - aaaghh screams and wuns awaze fast. If old bags mean females what happens to males? Maybe they become 'baggage' when they amass in herds? I try to live bag free, do boxes count? I have sooo many!

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

Hey do ya personally know any happily married people in real life? Posted: 7/2/2009 9:48:33 PM
Statistically, the odds are better if both partners come from stable functional homes where communication and mutual respect are valued. The odds of two people from dysfunctional homes are just less. Some people win at scratch lotto, some get their money stolen by vending machines. Its all a matter of chance, personal motivation, focus and living skills. Emotional trends in peoples lives tend to be that after a 'lotto win' , a catastrophe, disabling injury/ 'marriage' that people after a time return to their basic emotional level. If they were an optimist or a pessimist they will return to being who they are irrespective of having a partner or not. Needless to say some of us are doing rather well on our supposed 'lonesomes'. Like a woman who really wants a baby, you see more of whatever topic you choose to think about. Experiences tend to deepen pre-existing viewpoints rather than dislodge them for long.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 62 (view)

PMS apparently holds a hand in my relationships.... Posted: 7/2/2009 9:02:58 PM
Evening Primrose Oil and as other posters said - supporting your health is a good thing. The pill doesn't always alleviate PMS, it can have a list of side effects as long as your arm. There used to be a fabulous anti-PMS supplement out years ago that has since been taken off the market, it had considerable quantities of Vit B in it. Consider some Chinese herbals as a few thousand years of knowledge certainly has the beat on much of Western medicine. In a notebook - chart your moods, your worries, expectations etc. Record keeping helps you sort out the chaff from reality. Make a personal promise to never, discuss things when you yourself know you are not feeling calm and clear. Train yourself in positive behavioural patterns, lashing out at someone becomes a more entrenched habit, the more that you give in to it. Make it an everyday habit to assert yourself and discuss your problems when they are small and manageable. Make a funny poster (mine was the lost in space robot flinging his arms saying 'Warning") just put it on the fridge. Educate your man - that the poster means you need tea, hugs, affection and extra rest, and that this is a good time for 'yes dear'. Educate him that this is not the time to discuss problems. He only wants to know 'what to do' to avoid the bad stuff - allow both of you to escape as needed. As I noted on a work calendar one time - male bosses very much have their 28 day cycles too... Guys discuss the PMS issue with your other half, be her shining knight when she feels like she has just had a cold bucket of water tipped on her head from nowhere.

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

why pics with guys? Posted: 7/2/2009 8:34:10 PM
Its not a gender specific thing. The idea is to show yourself as 'successful' because you can get 'it'. Sometimes, the only pics some people have of themselves are those taken when out with friends. A single picture taken by most of us can look like a mug shot - don't read too much into it, a happy smiling face showing someone who can, interact is not a bad thing...unless its a guy...

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Lower Standards For Free Dating Sites? Posted: 7/2/2009 8:24:06 PM
Quality, does not necessarily come pre-packaged with perfect looks and a high income. Life throws many curve balls no matter how well we preen and feel superior to others. I tried a paid matchmaking service. As a successful business entrepeneur I was "matched" to acoholics, drug addicts, deeply depressed prozac dependents on the brink of suicide, fatties, illiterates, people still doing junior jobs in their 30s etc. The fact that women joined for free and these poor poor males were charged $800 was absolutely disgusting. Not once despite several complaints was I ever matched to the educated business executives that they supposedly had on their books. The service obviously felt obligated that these poor males that would have no hope of breeding - should at least have one contact for their $800. (This was $800 over 10 years ago). As a female, you would try to offer these poor ripped-off males some sense of self esteem - but it was hardly the stuff dreams and futures are made of. I sometimes wonder how life would have turned out if more of us met similarly ethical, qualified and motivated people - regardless of money. Many good things in life are in fact free and money is certainly no indicator of either intellect, morality or std status.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

do you remember being loved? Posted: 5/17/2009 10:44:35 PM
I wonder sometimes if we put so many filters and dampeners on what we think "love" should be like - that we walk right through the embrace without any awareness at all. It is possible that many of us who never experienced a relationship that felt trusting and secure could not see what the other half wished we could. Perhaps those loveless relationships were expressing something we were too blinkered to see because it wasn't what we thought it should be. I wonder sometimes if those who cannot hold out their hand to another to give to another, will not recieve until they take that chance. For those of us who live in the lower realms, where loving relationships may not be a part of our experience here in this life on earth; the day we reclaim ourselves to go forward in compassion and dignity- is the most powerful expression of love that there is, it is the germ of life itself that no-one can take away. I take heart in that I feel in a past life, I was loved - which means in a future life, I can hope to experience it again. Everything we do, should be an expression of love. Serenity - a heart as beautiful as yours, will most certainly attract yet more love, I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

too long single Posted: 5/17/2009 8:17:00 PM
Being in or out of a relationship is no real indicator of long term happiness. Being a friend for yourself, will bring considerable reward. For males and females relationships involve compromise, the ratio of give and take is never ever going to be seen as equal, simply because we are human. I very much celebrated my 10th freedom anniversary last year - every day where I am in control of my life and happiness - my freedom to smile and pursue a quality of life is a constant source of relief. There is no such thing as "too long single" what we waste too much of our lives doing is pining for something that isn't there. Decide instead to fully appreciate what "is" there, make no prison bars of any kind - stretch out and live. Needing to have an accessory hanging of your arm is no more than an ego statement. Screwing does not necessarily lead to intimacy or companionship, marriage and other empty screw arrangements can be very lonely and miserable places to be that leave your health needlessly compromised. Decide to be FREE.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

Quoted... Posted: 5/10/2009 6:55:02 PM
There is a question of responsibility of what kind of a parent your are lining up for your children to have. Wealth, life opportunity even intellect - are all suspect to life's lottery. Some people really shouldn't breed, we have had some people on POF who are train wrecks in slow motion - the thought of such people being parents is quite disturbing. As for friendships, I agree with an earlier post - a sign of intelligence and good social adjustment is that you get along with most people. As for unequal partnerships - yes they are exactly that, one being more of a parent and one being the directed child, they are probably more the norm than many of us would like to believe. If your partner can't fulfill all your dreams and wishes - is it really the end of life as we know it? No - that is why we have friends. Be wary OP, a real dullard of either sex is, hard work; and if it is the male - he will often undermine the female out of pure jealousy or contempt regardless of her IQ. A female however is more likely to be "proud of her man" - a powerful stroke for the man's ego.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

ever think about giving up and just be happy and single? Posted: 4/29/2009 4:30:38 PM
I think there comes a point where you wonder if a relationship is relevant to your quality of life at all. Lets face it - irrespective of years of practice and still being God awful at it...screw time in no way leads to a male bonding with his partner. Males prefer the company of other males and get angered at conversation or activities that do not involve meat. Males complain about women not giving them enough or costing them money - so why do they want one? The male need for a woman seems to be a cost factor so they don't need to pay for services. I can't really see what a male has to offer in return at all - they really have, become redundant. Lets face it an active, responsible, intelligent male - is well a a pretty rare commodity.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

empty feelings Posted: 3/17/2009 5:18:02 PM
OP, 15 Years and four children - yes the magic can certainly fade when bills and mundane life demands take their toll. The magic actually takes work, it can most certainly be rekindled but it will take effort. Please check with your doctor and get a full health check up. Check and see if you have low grade depression and get some counselling. Yes the pain will come - even if it is Christmas's without your children, the Valentine's Days , the anniversaries of different kinds - and that is not even counting the financial. Life is more than empty feelings, being renewed can most certainly occur in a marriage if there is no abuse occurring. If there is abuse - challenge it, even if your mind is still made up to leave. You will always grow through self challenge.....not by simply wanning or fading out of your life's investment.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Women easily misinterpret men's emails? Posted: 2/22/2009 7:21:17 PM
Even worse are the old gasping grandpas, sleazing about how they can still get it up a few times a month and want to use it on someone who isn't "past it".....shudders, and screams aloud...decides she probably doesn't want anybody after all.....these are generally from the ones who've already seen your advert saying "no oldies".... Even when you tell someone you've been that turned off you've just decided to be celibate forever, they still think it is some sort of come on... The boy toys are dreadful too, even aggressive, I agree the anonymity of the internet definitely brings out the worst in people. Still, a male friend of mine got the offer to be just used without any committment - something that would be quite offensive to most of us, there was the presumption there that of course he should oblige seeing as he had been asked. Things can get pretty unsavoury for the fellas too it would seem, plus they get the oldie problem as well. IM seems to drag out the worm life, so if you juz don go thar you will find better pickings elsewhere. The better crop seeming to be on some level of income, the higher the socio-economic scale the more likely they are to have post Neanderthal communication ability.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

We need advice on our friend. Posted: 2/22/2009 4:34:56 PM
Your friend is probably hoping to find a committed grown up male who is also fun...in order to start a family. Many males, not bothered by that ticking clock are quite unaware that jerking someone around can be quite cruel and cost decent women the chance of a family. Seeing as a relationship can only expect to last the length of time a woman will compromise her needs for her partner (approx 1- 3 years depending on the lady's sense of self esteem and dignity)- and he is not showing any indication at all, of being aware of her needs in any way ; the whole scenario is rather pointless. Your friend should consider IVF - take control, have her children, without all the legal hassles and future life constraints, then she can afford the overgrown playboy toy on the side who can come and go as she pleases. She can even offer him the opportunity to provide sperm, if he promises not to make trouble for her, however she shouldn't be viewing such fickle behaviour as being viable long term. This is certainly the way of the future for the economically independent women of today. How much of a health risk do you think this male might present? I would say rather high.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

why do woman do that Posted: 2/18/2009 2:52:07 PM
There have been numerous threads and suggestions on here in the past about producing a better photo. Women pretty much need the bikini shot to convince the male that she isnt as obese as himself or at least the photoshopped air brushed photo to show that she somehow has managed to magically not age past 20-30. Men need outdoor/action shots with strong lighting- they are allowed to be obese and quite ugly, but not poor/loser looking - so it is essential to show some aspect of wealth. Your photo also shows you looking a little uncertain - this along with the low lighting and dark colours in your image carry negative connotations. Signs of uncertainty are most definitely taken as loser/incapable therefore not provider material... Another photographic hint: be looking to your left in your photo, Hollywood has the "bad guys" coming from the right side of the screen, its an unconcious thing - but look at some of the more successful photos on here and magazines for cues.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

A blast from the past... Posted: 2/16/2009 2:35:15 PM
Males & females can get caught up in 'what might've been' and the associations of the past are often viewed through rose coloured lenses. The past is often remembered as a more positive and healthy/carefree time for many people compared to a current time of responsibilities and dissapointments. This is why it has such a lure, but it is as real as a puff of smoke, it only gets in the way of seeing what you have really have now - value and appreciate reality not imaginings and ego stroking. Ditto on the Valentines Day, if you didn't make it a special day - every day presents a new opportunity to demonstrate who you really can be.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 71 (view)

Can a Serious Christian Fall in Love with a Serious Atheist? Posted: 2/15/2009 2:49:37 PM
Past actions of churches with extremely dubious history have been pretty effective in turning many decent, loving caring people away from wanting any association with the tag "Christian". What is in someone's heart shouldn't be found wanting for not having joined the "right" football team. Unfortunately Christian beliefs can lead to a very false and unwarranted expectation (in marriage) of 'so shall you reap" in that if you love and do good deeds - your partner will love you. If this expectation is partnered with someone who decides to abuse your dedication and spiritural values to their own ends, particularly a Catholic woman who cannot remarry and stay in her church as a full member - Christian or non-Christian, it will not go well. Some athesiests/spiritually minded people have a clearer sense of basic decency and humanity than someone who swallows dogma unquestionably...I think that would be a rather good team to be a part of.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

Herpes Posted: 2/8/2009 7:27:36 PM
(even the woman purporting to have it lacks knowledge) yet are making it obvious they know little about it or found worse case scenarios to cut and paste here to prove their ignorance. Yes lots of people get angry, really angry about situations they have imagined upon themselves...as for cut and paste, I'm no Shakespeare either - but if you make such unfounded, unbelievable and offensive claims - prove it. No two people have the same physiology - however we do have social behaviours that expect a disease will always manifest itself as just occasional blisters for everyone affected. Occasional blisters are barely a blip on the horizon, but my experience is hardly that. I might add, that many sufferers also report heightened arousal states when they are at their most infectious and heightened emotional responses - do we really want an entire fatigue comprised population with these predispositions as well? That is the social and economic future our globe faces. Just because the canary snuffs it in the coal mine before the coal miner - doesn't necessarily mean all is well for those blessed with more hardy constitutions.. We need a change of social attitudes - drastically and soon.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

Herpes Posted: 2/5/2009 7:09:51 PM
I've been blessed to meet some incredible people through the Herpes sites. I hope someday to return my blessings to support others although I am hardly the one at present to do that, in the meantime I can be genuine and authentic in my belief that an education campaign for change is needed. My committment is in making a small firm stand to do what I can to stem the pandemic. I note however that precious few males seem to register on these sites, I wish more did, especially normally adjusted decent males and not ones with rampant promiscuity problems. Currently the sites are bursting at the seams with female members with at least an 8:1 ratio of female to male. I believe many males would prefer to sero-convert a female than do the responsible thing and register with a H site, males on the whole appear more expectant that a female should be left permanently compromised in her health for his temporary gratification. I do believe females are less disposed to passing this on deliberately simply because they are less assertive or agressive about satisfying their needs at the expense of others . The local infector in Armidale is committed to infecting as many women as he can- he believes that he will then have a pool of partners who cannot go elsewhere...yes a member of this site... Very few males value female needs as being of equal value to their own (if they do, they are married): This disparity of regard and worth for others is simply a widespread social standard of our day, which a significant volume of POF stories on here can attest to. The link between Herpes and prostate cancer is news, my quick glance referred to PSA which suggested the H elevated these readings. I don't have the resources to look into this, could you enlarge on this topic?

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Dating and finding positive people over 40 Posted: 2/5/2009 6:34:34 PM
Outmind - what a great story. I think it captures the essence of the question: How can we find the joys we had at younger times when we were free and on top of the world? We encourage our mates, remember our achievements and refuse to settle for dud circumstances and attitude. I think when we devote ourselves to a sense of purpose, be possibly stubborn and uncompromising at times about what we believe will help make the world a better place - we move forward and upward in our lives. In our youth we believed we would make a worthwhile contribution to to the planet - if we hang onto that at whatever age, I believe we stay positive, and healthy. POF is not only a dating site, there is an incredible level of support on here - the people who say "I've been there too" however it is worded are not being negative, they are showing understanding and empathy. Not all of us are wonderful literary geniuses, even if the wording is sometimes not the best - the crux of it is that people genuinely care and do not want others to fall into mineshafts. I think that is a truly beautiful - and positive thing. People fall when they lose hope - we need to be stronger in our efforts to encourage others.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 85 (view)

Herpes Posted: 2/1/2009 5:21:17 PM
Given that Herpes is an incurable disease and yes blood tests can certainly verify the condition to some degree - why should a doctor want to view your crutch repeatedly after the initial diagnosis? I agree most male doctors are indeed unmentionable in their ethics, morals and social standards. Unfortunately going to another one is generally a repeat of their same haughty ignorant attitudes. Even worse, females seem to lose their sense of normal decency on becoming doctors as well, although thankfully to a significantly lesser degree. I guess I have just met so many appalling doctors that have done so many dreadful things through their attitude - by now I would barely trust them to inspect a toenail. Ever had a doctor suggest to you that now you are married, you should not expect to be as healthy as you once were? Ever had a doctor conceal your partner infecting you with an std? Ever had a doctor refuse to refer you to a dietician when you mention your current diet is leaving you in flat in bed most weekends - and then tell you that breastfeeding your baby should leave you too ill to care for baby? Ever had a doctor be horrified that you are an employer and urge you to fold up your business because you went and saw them about some chest pain? Ever had a doctor prescribe the strongest script he could come up with - after you have explained a mild antihistimine knocks you out for over 17 hours? Ever had a doctor lie and deceive you? Ever had a doctor withhold positive test results for this disease knowing you were actively trying to conceive a child? Ever had a doctor refuse you asthma medication and leave you nearly half dead for 2 weeks until he was satisfied you would follow an asthma protocol? Ever had a doctor ruin the good news of a pregnancy because he was so adamant about wanting to take a blood sample on the spot? Ever had a doctor tell you that perhaps you should just accept that this is how you are now, and to stop asking for treatment to regain your life and career... No - I don't feel men are to blame for all the problems of the world, however I do persistently push for a change in attitude. Some day, men will be able to value women more than they currently do, this will only happen though through women bucking the current status quo. We certainly need more women to be boycotting and reporting pompous arrogant doctors for starters. Once a male doctor contracted Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - only then, was this disease taken seriously before then it was just "malingering" and female "neurosis" - I just really wish males got as seriously affected as what females do. The whole attitude about deliberately leaving someone with : persisent headache, fatigue, predisposition to AIDS,MS, Alzheimers, Arthritis etc, reduced ability to cope with "stress" , along with a crop of blisters - well this attitude needs a drastic rethink that this is acceptable behaviour in our society. I hardly see how the expectation of doing this to a formerly healthy happy person can be part of a loving relationship. If more people nominated themselves as being aware of their HSV status - women's chances of finding a similarly infected male, would be enhanced from the current 2% likelihood of finding him.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 78 (view)

Herpes Posted: 1/29/2009 9:28:50 PM
^^^^ Yes, I'm having enough dramas to be thinking many of my plans need to be brought forward.. I am very concerned for the next generation - at least I had the opportunity to marry and have children. I am convinced this thing is going to become a great deal more serious than the medical profession currently give it credit for. I hope if I get well enough to become more of an advocate for a change in GP attitudes. I don't mean for my posts to sound bitter, I really am committed to try to push for change on this issue - hopefully some shock tactics might knock some GPs off their smug condescending high horses. Lay people you can excuse, but educated professionals - no..

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 74 (view)

Herpes Posted: 1/29/2009 3:14:54 PM
Herpes has destroyed my quality of life that much, leaving me with brain injury, chronic pain and fatigue etc etc . Haha!! Quicksilver217 is a liar and a forums troll!! Anyone who believes this pile of hooey must have contracted the brain injury!! Maybe Quicksliver got the brian injury falling down the stairs while scratching! Herpes is a reaccuring rash at most! Suck it up crybabies!! I believe I contracted both HSV1 & 2 in the one go - I then developed encephalitis or similar. My doctors refused to test because they did not want to be part of a court case. I was too ill to find less malignant doctors - so what should have been a test case for NSW/Australian law was lost. My doctors said that people should be free to spread this disease without liablility - needless to say, they at least still have their quality of life and unfortunately their careers. Well Chatty Cat - perhaps you may one day have the delightful experience of an 18 month migrain, loss of balance, loss of communicative skills, non-stop blisters, the distress of wondering if you are ever going to be able to hold a job again, be left with financial costs of thousands of dollars, be left unable to drive or care for your children. I would only hope a deliberate and knowing infector and the arrogant doctors who encourage men to spread this - deliberately could also have the same experience. Chatty Cat - I am sure you could suck up a similar experience, but to deny this thing is a mild inconvenience is hardly being a crybaby. As for being a "Forum Troll" - About the only thing that relieves my migraine is the thankfully blue screen on these pages. Reading short sentences such as most people write and the opportunity to think of others - offers me more relief than pain killers. I've been such an academic all my life, the experience of my time on here - something I would never have tolerated when well , has taught me soo much. For this part of my herpes experience - I am grateful. The biggest problem with herpes - is the arrogance of male doctors refusing standard medication unless they see your genitals and satisfy themselves that you have a current outbreak. A hideous vicious and unnecessary degradation for people who are barely able to have any quality of life at all without the script. Infect a doctor today ! Given the unbelievable arrogance male doctors exhibit towards women and their unbelievable hatred of intelligent or career women - it would be great if more women could return the favour of encripplement to them, see how these degenerate pompous creeps would like to have a career washing dishes and have their intelligence, humanity and dignity similarly belittled. These jerks can't even bear the idea that they don't have a monopoly on basic intelligence - some karma would be really good for them. My male doctor said I should be joyful about the experience and practice forgiveness - of course if he was involved in a car crash - which is about the same devastation I am experiencing - I am sure he would be really joyful and forgiving and not press charges against someone permanently, - permanently destroying his life. This pompous malignant creep said a "real Christian" would not want to press charges. His refusal of Valtrex in the midst of my suspected encephalitis deepened and prolonged my injury - then the monster refused my application of a travel refund - because of the script refusal - 8 months after infection I could still barely walk. Herpes - enough to needlessly cause me the loss of a trip of a lifetime, but not so bad, who expects to still be chronically disabled f----ing months later? Causing permanent and deliberate injury to others should be - and unless of course committed by men against women - is and should be a criminal offence. Infectors should be held financially liable.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Work problems, read for more info. Posted: 1/28/2009 6:04:43 PM
There are women who would think this relationship would be quite OK, its not as difficult as you might first think. Be bold, do something different and advertise your availability with a PO Box reply. Homely gals can be found at craft fairs, cooking courses, weekend college, church. Enlist the help of your local hair dressers, ask to put up your advert with them, resourcefulness pays.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

Why do women put themselves in this position? Posted: 1/28/2009 3:48:31 PM
Drama follows me. I try to ditch it...but somehow I'm in it or it follows me. Lol. This comment along with noting many of your friends have problems, makes me think you need to do some reassessment of what you will allow into your own life. I agree helping can be dangerous, but you have shown some considerable strength and heart. Sometimes subtle help can go a long way, be more careful about your choice of friends and consider upgrading your life to a better neighbourhood and education level. If you feel the need to be a rescuer, it could be that you are attracting unfavourable men in your life as well. I would suggest continue to be a friend, don't get mad at her, it will be a long process. The subtle things, the small things that a person does to reclaim their identity which she is in the process of losing - are the necessary steps that lead the way out. Give her a photo box, to keep the photos of the good times - give her photos of the two of you having fun out for a day somewhere. Into the box goes a pretty notebook - to record the "good times" , also into the box are some beautiful pages of self affirmations that the two of you have written and decorated together. Finally into the box, goes a pamphlet for the domestic violence hotline and a book on "verbal abuse" or similar. Something like this is literally a life line - it points out that the crazy making actions of an abuser - are not, imagined. It gives the tools to point the way out. Encourage her to keep a diary secretly, her own words are her greatest ally. Warn her though, that she will need to hide her diary, (and it will also help her when it comes time for her to press charges or for the coroner). Abusers don't handle anything that is a reality check...

Quicksilver217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Could you live with clone of yourself? Posted: 1/26/2009 9:46:11 PM
Damn - two of us and neither one of us can do the handyman job at hand - aaaaghhh! I think I would hope for the complement of myself - besides I am such a damn know all - what would there be left to talk about? I'm with Tiger on the always available sparring partner and fellow musician - that would be fun. I am certain each of us has clones or very similar running around somewhere in the world - and they would probably be just as independently minded - so the odds of us getting along are probably no better than the rest of the population. At least talking would be easier though.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

it makes me wonder did he Posted: 1/18/2009 5:29:44 PM
Congratulations for deciding to take your, life back into your own control and best wishes for you and your little one. You are asking the wrong questions completely - you need to be taking a good stock of yourself and your expectations for you and baby from here on. When our self esteem is low, we attract the worst in people - do all the things that build you up, the things that build success and cheating loser types will be a thing of the past. Make a stand that you will never tolerate an abusive situation for you or your child ever again - you are young and gorgeous - you deserve a winner. Take a deportment course, build your education, walk more assertively and you will find yourself in the winner's circle - don't give a loser the time of day. Get yourself checked very thoroughly for stds and I would advocate IVF for baby no.2

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

A true relationship that leads into tragedy Posted: 1/4/2009 7:31:13 PM
OP you were a support and a friend when Rosie needed you - take some real comfort from that. Realise too that she may well have needed some time for healing, odds are she has been through something that will take her time to deal with. These scenarios happen a lot in life, persist if you can to make contact - she may very well still need you as a friend but be prepared that your role may no longer be that of a boyfriend - things change. The other real issue, is the need to "rescue" , support is one thing, but seeking a relationship on the basis of someone to "take care of" might be a pretty unhealthy tragedy in the making. Be wary always of wanting to take someone's troubles on board as your own, baggage bites. People with injuries and low self-esteem eventually pick up and then find themselves very much changed from who they used to be - some partners then have trouble accepting and coping when the bird with the injured wing is now ready to fly.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 99 (view)

Some BLUNT Honesty -- perhaps some levity as well ;) Posted: 1/4/2009 6:58:48 PM
People tend to feel better if you hide things from them instead of telling them the truth, everyone says they want openness and honesty but in reality that is not what they really want. - "better to pretend to be surprised..." I can't believe this quote, only a bottom feeder would advocate behaviour like this and worst of it is, that these low life scum don't end up with their legs broken and their homes firebombed in retaliation. It is certainly what I wish I could do to the person that did this to me. The worst of H is not only the rejection as yet another potentially life changing person walks out of your life forever - it is fighting the daily illness and suicidal tendencies. H makes you feel there is no point living - all the more important that we encourage people to at least remain friends and support those of us who have effectively been left castrated and utterly destroyed forever.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Dumped too quick 4 having Herpies, or just lack of education? Posted: 12/31/2008 4:40:14 PM
I think honesty is really the only policy, how else can there possibly be trust in a relationship without it. By the same token, unless you are hoping to become intimate, choosing the timing to divulge the news is up to you. It is certainly an extremely distressing condition - one that has certainly impacted on my life very heavily. I think too, that with the help of doctors aiding the spread of this disease - most people will not realise they already have it. I would suggest going for a dual blood check up with your intended, IF you can find a decent doctor willing to check you both - and those human beings of such calibre are indeed a rare find in the medical profession. Good luck OP, the people who have joined the Herpes sites are a decent breed of individuals with a high level of responsibility - so the fact of them being on there has already weeded out the worst of the insensitive types out there. The other thing is that the members are scattered thinly across large areas of the country - you are going to have to be willing to either settle in a city or be prepared to travel and spend a great deal to find a partner. In the meantime H can be a get out of jail free card - you can, live independently and make a life for yourself without a ball and chain to drag after you. God Bless.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

tension with the EX Posted: 12/29/2008 12:12:12 PM
I disagree on contacting her, it seems she has done everything in her power to move on and put her loss behind her. If you wanted to convey your new realization do it via a friend, it will get back to her without your presence complicating things - it is never too late to say sorry, but yes it can dredge up pain too. You would also not be feeling "tension" if you had a girlfriend, remember that.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Bruised legs Posted: 12/28/2008 11:39:49 PM
Doing martial arts always left me with plenty of bruises, I also bruise ridiculously easily - I am glad I never wanted to be a model. If Iwas a drinker I could at least put it down to too much fun, but because I am always on the move and in a hurry, I just bump into things. Damn those coffee tables, the next one is going to be surrounded by pillows. Dining room tables would account for the thigh level ones and the only cure is a round table complete with Sir Lancelot to fend off attacking furniture....

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 73 (view)

Is marriage outmoded? Posted: 12/28/2008 11:15:29 PM
3 things I've heard about Australians: 1) The men there have been so pumped full of feminist ideas, that they don't even look at Australian women. It's almost reverse-feminism. 2) The Australians are very in shape, for the most part. 3) The Australians are a very happy people, and very fun-loving, at least, all the ones I've met and/or heard about. Well the reason the aussie males don't look is because they prefer the company of other males...(and no, last time I made this comment, we had a deafening silence from the Australian male...) I want to meet this Aussie male in shape...yes the one without the beer gut hanging over his pants that are real low in the crutch (problems fellas?) Yes the convict stock are just such a classy lot, not. The happy aussies are the unmarried ones. The ones that are marrying, are the ones who aren't necessarily upwardly mobile in their careers - more the country than the city dwellers. The thing that kills marriage is males expecting a wife to take over from where their mummy left off. I also can't think why on earth a man would ever want to marry at all unless he is religious - the government is killing marriage with their prohibitive and punitive settlements. Women just get the expectation of more work and less sleep and of course ill health. Single women are happier and healthier, the more educated the woman - the less likely she is going to want to settle for some sick paternalistic 1950s attitude at the end of her work day. Marriage also doesn't make sense if you have a career - you need to be mobile, marriage simply doesn't fit the modern lifestyle, it is not about moving on from messes, it just makes sense to live life to the full and not be carting around some half dead albatross with you. Lets face it, the married men quickly go saggy and they are frankly embarrassing to introduce to a new circle of friends - a career move should be seen as an opportunity to upgrade.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 76 (view)

Do you suffer from feeling out of their league? Posted: 12/23/2008 7:20:15 PM
Wealth, status jobs and health are transient things - they are not the measure of someone's value to you as a potentially loving partner. There is another aspect though of human categories and that would include the honest decent and hardworking types as opposed to the degenerates of the world. Unfortunately degenerates mix with the unassuming and moral people - degenerates should be considered out of every decent person's league. Education can be a matter of life opportunity, so tertiary qualifications really shouldn't come into it. However someone who choses to never better themselves when there is no learning disability, but through shear laziness or addictions - again they are below the league of the stayers and the tryers of this world. Apples really do deserve apples and good ones at that. Sometimes you really do, have to gently let someone know, they really aren't in your league as a potential partner, because it is the simple truth and to do otherwise is leading them on unfairly. We should be friendly and encouraging to everyone, but everyone really does dream of having someone of their own calibre for a partner in life.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Herpes Posted: 12/23/2008 3:05:29 PM
Herpes has destroyed my quality of life that much, leaving me with brain injury, chronic pain and fatigue etc etc . I believe the men who knowingly spread this thing to us clean living decent women just because it is no big deal to themselves - frankly I would like to see them have their legs broken and be left in a desert to die slowly. God curse deliberate spreaders who infect others without their consent in every possible way for the rest of their degenerate and selfish lives. Most especially the doctors who should know better - who encourage disgusting men to deliberately spread their disease to the uninfected and not tell partners may they be similarly cursed. May the refusal of testing and medical treatment for people infected or wanting to know their std status - may these disgustingly arrogant doctors be held criminally liable. I believe the nature of this seemingly "mild" disease is changing to a whole lot more virulent strain than is currently appreciated. Aids was also originally regarded as "no big deal" - hard to believe now that the thing has mutated isn't it? But as this pandemic spreads like wildfire internationally - with no tracking, no notification protocols and no follow up for those suffering complications of virulent strains - we are setting ourselves up for one very unhealthy world in the future - thanks Doc. Herpes may be no big deal to the men who seemingly get over it and their lives move on - ready to ruin another life. For decent human beings who refuse to destroy others - it is a very big deal indeed. How many suicides are Herpes related we will never know, how many victims of deliberate and nonconsenual infection later go on to commit suicide - their infectors will never know, and presumably will never care either. Some of us, feel there is no reason to go on living at all after Herpes - and some of us were in supposed monogamous marriages when infected - so a little kindness and humanity towards others goes a very long way.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Who are these people? Posted: 12/23/2008 2:57:44 PM
OP, it is no game - just simply a lifestyle choice. Some of us no longer believe in the fairytale and like to enjoy the nice part without the ugly developments that follow. There are no rules, many women today enjoy their independence, they've been burnt and eventually decide to just have fun without getting all serious (and infected etc) from here on. It is likely that the women who you have been seeing are achievers and are possibly wealthy - you aren't doing anything wrong, you just may not be in their league. Enjoy each day for what it presents - don't get so hung up on things needing to follow on, let go of expectations and be in the moment.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Your date is too quiet? Posted: 12/21/2008 7:23:32 PM
Sometimes people are quiet because of shyness, or they have finished a long shift and are tired. Other times it can be an expression of an unhealthy and possibly dangerous individual - it should be treated warily. If you are in doubt as to the cause, ask - if you suspect the person is a control freak of some kind, wanting to have some kind of edge because you have opened up and they haven't - move on. I agree if the person if uncommunicative it does not bode well for any kind of relationship. Big Red Flag.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Is there a TOO OLD standard? Or do emotions govern all? Posted: 12/21/2008 5:13:29 PM
It is just plain cruel that men go after women so much younger simply because the opportunity presents. Your health is going to deteriorate so much faster and sooner than hers. Right now you may be able to get off the couch and away from the TV for a few short breaks - but she really does have a life to live yet - you've pretty much used up yours by now. Even if you were the same age as her, you could expect her to outlive you by 10 years, you could expect to go senile probably at least 10-15 years sooner than her - you are condemning her to years of loss and sacrifice - just for the sake of a few good times. Do the kind thing - don't expect her to die for you before her time.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

He made me kill my baby.. Posted: 12/21/2008 4:49:21 PM
I understand your hope that someone will give you the words you need to hear, time does indeed ease sorrows, however sometimes not. What makes the difference in healing is your, decisions about self acceptance, self reliance and the will to get up and move on as best you can. From the postinsg I have read here over the years, (this subject is fairly common) the women who best answer in the positive to this situation (which I have not experienced) generally say something along these lines: 1. They admit that they had some growing up and personal self growth to do before becoming a mother. 2. They take acceptance for their decision as being their own choice. 3. They recognise that financial circumstances, family support, the child's probable future and their own needs were all vital aspects involved in making that decision. 4. They generally advise quite positively that circumstances do change with proactive attitudes and the determined say that they went on to have their desired child in much better circumstances. These strong and positive women decided to move forward. Sometimes we undervalue ourselves for all sorts of reasons - a counsellor and reading some self help books will all work to turn your life around. Make 2009 a year for you. Everytime you learn to assert yourself and uncompromisingly expect to be treated with dignity and respect at alll times - the better life will be for you and any future child. Do not open any door in your life that leads downwards, make better choices.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

wierd emails from old girlfriend Posted: 12/15/2008 8:35:25 PM
I agree with msg 16 & 18 - don't read anything heavy into it, and certainly don't buy into anything heavy either. It can be somewhat of a shock to meet up with someone you haven't seen in a long time - they aren't quite what you remember, things change!

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Not sure how to approach this... Posted: 12/15/2008 8:26:24 PM
Tell her you love a woman to make the first moves, and you like anticipation to grow, the most effective wall breaker is the man who will be patient enough for a woman to step a toe over the line without frightening her to bits...she does want to trust again, give her the space and reassurance to let that trust grow.

QUICKSILVER217

Joined: 11/22/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Attraction to a Client Posted: 12/15/2008 8:19:23 PM
She's probably hoping you will contact her, it is a fact of life - most people meet others through their daily interactions, not over the internet! I would suggest you take things more cautiously and a lot more slowly given there has been professional interaction, that way it would be less likely to rebound on your professional reputation. S-L-O-W-L-Y and be up front on saying why, but otherwise fingers crossed for you.

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