Loving hard, but not getting that love back? chat & forums.

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Thread: Loving hard, but not getting that love back?

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Loving hard, but not getting that love back? Posted: 1/27/2008 4:14:46 PM
I loved someone and he liked me I guess... but not love. Anyway I was glad that I realized that the relationship would never be anything that I hoped it would be. We weren't really together in a relationship, but we saw one another sometimes. .. a long distance thing... he said he would never be in love and didn't want to be in love. So we agreed to be friends and slowly we lost contact with each other. That was my last shot at opening myself up to someone. I can't do it anymore. I just come every now and then for the forums.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

stay if sex is bad? Posted: 12/24/2007 9:00:05 PM
I would just have to say if the sex isn't great but the relationship is great, then I would stay because the sex will get better with time. Sometimes the man or the woman isn't comfortable enough to state what they need or like... and if that is the case maybe the should know each other better before getting intimate. I feel that sex is more than the act itself. It is the culmination of what you have with the other person. I wouldn't want to be with someone that wasn't willing to take the time to know me ... and that is worth the effort... on both our parts. Part of sex being bad might be because something else is lacking... like trust, respect, and value.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

sexual contact = breast enlargement????!!!! Posted: 7/25/2007 8:18:20 AM
I agree with splitrock, you might just be a late bloomer. I read where some women put on a little extra fat in the breasts and grow way on into adulthood. You could be just redistributing your weight around your body and your breasts are the ones getting the weight. If your doc says you are fine, then don't worry.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

colonic irrigation Posted: 7/23/2007 5:20:43 PM
It used to be whatever ailed ya... take an enema. I worked in a nursing home that gave chocolate milk enemas to one of the patients there. If they had a cold give them an enema, seizures? give em an enema! It's just a bit of snake oil mentality I think. They put a new name on an old remedy that has no purpose.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 203 (view)

what's so bad about spanking your kid? Posted: 7/18/2007 5:58:46 PM
Spanking is just a big person hitting a little person. To resort to violence, means that you haven't the skills to parent your children. If you would not hit or "spank" your employer, employee, neighbor or friend, why would you do your kids that way? What good does it do? It doesn't stop the kids from doing whatever they do... they just do it behind your backs. I was hit as a kid. I got my arm broken by being man handled. I swore I would never hit my kids when I had them. I never did. My kids grew up well mannered. I raised them to say yes ma'am and no ma'am. When I had to punish them, I took away privileges. They had to earn them back. If their name went on the board, they knew they would lose something they liked. The didn't misbehave often.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 86 (view)

He Offered me $50,000!!!!! Posted: 7/10/2007 4:34:11 PM
Shoot! I'll take his money. I won't do no whoring either! He can give me all the money he wants to as long as I don't have to do anything for it. A fool and his money soon parts.. so they say! No really, this story doesn't even ring true to me. He might have made the offer, but he might have just been crazy and have nothing to back it up. Umm isn't it time to take Christmas down? Heee hee.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

Single or Divorced Parent? Posted: 6/4/2007 9:10:54 PM
I was a single parent because I did raise my daughter by myself. My husband--her daddy--never so much as EVER even sent a birthday card or Christmas card and never even called his daughter. He walked out of her life before she was 2 years old and she is 37 now and never knew him. She found him on People Search online. She paid for the phone number and address and never could reach him. He is still ducking her after all these years. He never once supported her. I did it with the help of my parents... she had a good life.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

400 Pound 7 year old Posted: 3/9/2007 2:17:45 PM
That is the same little kid that was on The Maury Show. She was like.. 200 lbs then.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Is it worth it or am I wasting my time? Posted: 3/4/2007 4:02:59 PM
Hi Seekn, You know, I think you know the answer to your question. He isn't the one if he needs all this attention from other women. And since he knows it hurts your feelings that he does this and he insists on doing it anyway shows that he has no real respect for your feelings. He is stepping all over you because you are letting him. You need to boot him out the door and make him know you won't tolerate this from him. If you don't you are going to be most unhappy.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Does God intervene in human affairs? Posted: 2/19/2007 5:06:09 PM
I was saved from being killed by a crazy boyfriend... he was violent and one day he took it outside. I was trying to get into my car for safety and he stopped me and had me back against my car with a machetti at my throat. Someone came flying into my drive with horn blowing... (I lived on a busy road) that truck came flying in and the guy left me to see what the person in the truck was blowing about... and I was able to jump into the car and take off. As luck or God would have it the road was empty of cars and I was able to speed out of my drive, but not without him jumping onto the hood of my car and he flew off because I didin't stop. I know God intervened because that road is always busy... and I never even saw the person in the truck... it had black windows. God sent whoever that was that saved me.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Open realtionships is it just cheating Posted: 2/19/2007 4:52:21 PM
What is the point in being married if you are going to spread it all around for "spice"... yeah you'll think spice when it starts dripping. Hope you wear a condom when you find that spice. It may not be cheating if both agree.. but it is definately disrespecting the marriage partner. Oh honey I love you so much, but I'm going out to boink someone else! sheeesh!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Open realtionships is it just cheating Posted: 2/19/2007 4:45:26 PM
I don't see a point in being married if you are going to bring other people into the relationship to sleep with. But that said, if both agree to it, then it isn't cheating. Cheating implys breaking the rules... and if they set the rules to include others, it isn't cheating. It's sick, in my opinon, but not cheating.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 109 (view)

is a relationship better without sex? Posted: 2/19/2007 4:42:41 PM
but hes already asked me to go to the bar with him next saturday... you aren't old enough to drink? Are you?

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 108 (view)

is a relationship better without sex? Posted: 2/19/2007 4:37:25 PM
If you wait on the sex and get to really know each other intimately without it, you can get so much more into one another, so when the sex does come to be more a part of the relationship it is an expression of love and not just something to do because you are together. Sometimes all a person knows is the outside and the superficial things, but they don't know and feel the deeper things about the person you are with.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Confidence versus arrogance Posted: 2/19/2007 4:32:14 PM
Confidence is attractive in a man, and a smidgen of humility goes a long way too. Good luck! Rain

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Men being the spiritual Leader in the marriage Posted: 2/18/2007 3:20:25 PM
Ms_Fancypants, you said it! Amen and Amen...if the man loves the wife like Christ loved the church the man will treat this wife well. And you are right, it is rare that marriages are built on this premise. A marraige takes 3 man plus God plus woman... If God is in the midst there will be no disrespecting of the marriage partners.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 154 (view)

Anti-black Racism in Religion! Posted: 2/18/2007 3:07:32 PM
Why do you bring up race? And why would it matter if Jesus was a black man? The bible says nothing about his skin color. We know that Jesus had "wooly hair" that is all we know. I know Jesus as the Son of God, so it matters not what you say about his decent. And it is believed that there is a black tribe that decended from Jacob (Isreal), but where is the proof? What does it matter anyway? Everyone of different nationalities and even ethnic backgrounds paints Jesus as either black, or dark, or a white anglosaxon... what does it matter? It wouldn't bother me a bit.... I know who my Father is and I know who my Elder Brother is. The bible says if you see one you have seen the other... Cheers!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Do you have a method for breaking Up or ending something that's not working? Posted: 2/4/2007 9:32:44 AM
Well, if the relationship isn't working for me, I just tell them. Maybe the relationship turns into something different than it started out being. I'm not going to stay into a relationship that doesn't have a chance of going to the alter.... not if they want the benefits of marriage without the ring... my opinion anyway.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 282 (view)

best ways to get even with your ex Posted: 2/4/2007 9:12:45 AM
I can't believe this thread has lived this long! The best way to get back at an ex... is not to! Getting on with your life and having a wonderful time is the best "get back" anyone can have! We shouldn't even be thinking of the ex in trying to get even with them... just enjoy life!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Reproducing Internet Images Posted: 1/30/2007 8:39:00 AM
I wonder how he would get permission when the forwards are going around cyberspace for who knows how long? I collect some myself, but I don't use them to make a profit... so I told my friend to ask a lawyer.... don't know if he will or not.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

How long does it take for gum to dry out? Posted: 1/30/2007 8:14:02 AM
I can't stop laughing!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Problem not connecting. Posted: 1/30/2007 7:50:54 AM
I had to put Plentyoffish in my favorites, because when I type in plentyoffish.com I sometimes, but not always, get advertisments, but when I click on my favorites it always comes up.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

HOW DO YOU GUYS FEEL ABOUT NANCY GRACE..DO SHE COME OFF TO STRONG? Posted: 1/30/2007 7:43:48 AM
I think she tells it like it is. She isn't a bleeding heart... and I think if she turned into one no one would watch her. It's about ratings, and she is probably directed to give a particular slant to what she reports.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Reproducing Internet Images Posted: 1/30/2007 7:39:59 AM
I know this subject is off the beaten path on a dating site, but a friend of mine said he got an idea about making calandars to sell on the internet. He plans to use pictures that he saved from forwards that he received though emails. He said he has lots of Hawaiian sunsets and ocean scenes and others that he wants to use. My question is: Can he do that? I didn't want to tell him he couldn't do it, because I don't know.... but somebody originally took those pictures before they got on the internet. Does the person that took the photos own the images? Or are those images fair game for anyone to use? I don't want to see my friend get into trouble... yet he thinks that they are fair game because they are passed around anyway. What do you all think? I'm really worried.... but I don't know if I really should worry, because I don't know anything about this subject.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Need your opinions on timing in dating Posted: 1/21/2007 8:37:52 AM
Mr. Morose, I tried to email you but couldn't because of your settings... but I think you just have to do what feels right. I think you would know how to pace yourself. l if you want a long lasting relationship, then really communicate. If you go too fast you might scare her off, then again if you wait too long, she may get tired of waiting. Listen for some cues from her. She will be the one to put the brakes on in a relationship. Ask her if you can kiss her... and go from there. Go lightly... its awful to go in for a kiss and the guy tries to choke you with his tongue. It's kind of like dancing... you need to lead some and follow some. Good luck!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 106 (view)

When dating a SOCIAL WORKER Why, do they lie and cheat SO MUCH Posted: 1/19/2007 9:12:47 AM
This thread is absolutely rediculous! The OP is stereotyping all social workers as cheaters because he has had a bad experience. That is like saying all men cheat or all women cheat... they all don't. Most are very honest people.. and if the OP is having problems with social workers, maybe it is him and not them. They can't all be wrong. It kind of sounds like a person that is fired from 3 jobs in a row and it is never his fault.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

a late night lament Posted: 1/18/2007 4:35:28 PM
If I can add one of mine??? Letter To Mama Mama dearest let me say What is on my heart today. Let my words of love, Be guided from God above. Mama you were the one Who rescued me when no one would, And stood me up on solid ground. You taught me how wear God's love For souls to wrap my arms around. Mama, God gave your love to me As a model of how I should be. My mother died just years before My heart was broken my soul was torn. So, when I was lost and lonely, You were the angel, who took me in. Mama there is so much I want to thank you for. You brought God's love to me, Which healed my broken soul, And that love made me whole. Mama you taught me Love is an action, It is something that you do, Because the essence of love Is not a feeling or emotion. You taught me to stop Dwelling on me, And to focus on those in need. No, I wasn't born to you, But just the same God gave me you. I am honored to call you Mom. Written September 15, 2006

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

a late night lament Posted: 1/18/2007 7:35:15 AM
Beautiful poem Thumper. Do you have any more?

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

women helping women in relationships Posted: 1/16/2007 9:17:19 AM
The woman won't listen to you. I've been there and done that.... twice in my life someone has warned me about a man I was with and I didn't listen. I felt she was trying to break us up. I didn't even listen when an unidentified caller told me that my husband was cheating on me. I didn't believe it... but he was. So... save your breath and let them all find out for themselves... we who should take the advice only see it as interference.... instead of the helpful warnings they are meant to be.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Love is NOT enough - Do you agree? Posted: 1/15/2007 12:22:39 PM
I basically think the phrase " I love you but I'm not in love with you" is used when a spouse or SO no longer finds you sexually attractive... He or she is looking and seen someone more attractive to the senses.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Forceful Silver Screen-type kisses. Women - Yes/No? Posted: 1/15/2007 12:13:21 PM
I'm not into theatrics.... definately not A. I'll just keep fishing, thank you.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

are you shallow? if so help me with this one... Posted: 1/4/2007 12:23:23 PM
Moon fish I don't quite know what to make of your post, because I think it is both shallow and ignorant of you to keep dealing with someone you detest so much. I think you don't like yourself very much either... because what you don't like in her is something you fail to see that you hate in yourself. If you have no interest in her and really can't stand her, just be honest and tell her. I am sure she would appreciate knowing just where she stands with you. I could almost believe you would lead her on, by being intimate with her and hating her at the same time. You didn't say that, but I have to wonder why you would keep bothering with someone whom you detest so much, unless you were getting something out of the relationship. There is always a pay off somewhere to stick with someone you hate. The sex might be good. What goes around comes around. You may really like someone one day and they will bust your bubble big time!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Christmas Holidays....tough on new relationships? Posted: 1/4/2007 7:44:37 AM
It was always a little difficult for me meeting the new family, when I didn't really know them, and still trying to fit in.... in that way it is tough. Sometimes I have been in relationships where we don't spend as much time together because we are both spending it with our families.... so either way it can be trying.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Ever change your mind? Posted: 1/3/2007 5:53:51 PM
It sounds like you got a dose of reality when you started playing house, and found out it wasn't for you. It can get annoying to share your space when you don't really want to. You might want to see someone when you want to, and leave when you want to. Kudos to you for being honest with her. It prevents heartache later on....that may end badly. Good for you! Maybe she will appreciate it later when she gets over being hurt. It happened to me once, I went across the country to be with the guy I was having a long distance thing with several years ago. Once we were together, I spent 3 days and nights and he got cold feet. I'm glad it happened though because i would have been way far away from my family and friends. But I also am glad he was honest enough to tell the truth than to run around and cheat on me or something. Besides, OP you weren't married. I think when you are not married... the same rules don't appy unless you have an understanding to be committed in marriage...and you hadn't done that yet... you have a right to change your mind when it isn't working for you. Making a decision to stay when you aren't really there emotionally is totally wrong when you aren't even married to the person. I wish you the best OP.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Dating the New Job Search? Posted: 1/3/2007 5:39:25 PM
No, I don't think so...not at all. If you meet someone out in public you still have to get to know someone. I know what you are saying, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as getting to know someone, and if we click we do, and if not, maybe I have made a friend. I don't think of it as losing out on a great catch or a great opportunity or whatever. I've made some great friends, but no romantic interests...and that is fine with me, because I am content with my life as it is...without anyone in it. Sure, I would love to have that person that adds to my life, but if not, I haven't lost anything. Have a great New Year!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Hypochondriac Posted: 1/2/2007 11:45:08 AM
She may have a mental illness, and if so, her pain is real to her. It is not made up.... I am sure she feels it very much. People who have a bipolar disorder often focus on what might be wrong with them. It can get very exhausting to stay supportive to someone who suffers from this type of illness. You do get tired of hearing about it... but the best thing to do is not react so much. If she won't seek out medical help, maybe she will seek out mental health... if not.... he must make a choice to either stand by her or get out of dodge. It can drive a sane person crazy. I've dealt with it myself... fortunately my loved one is much better now after years of psyciatrists and therapists, and just plain good handling and a wonderful understanding husband.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

How do know if you love him Posted: 1/2/2007 11:37:58 AM
I'm sorry you were raped.... if the b/f Shawn does not want anything to do with your baby maybe you have good reason not to want to be with him. Now, if you went in on some of the debt... you may be liable for part of it. But maybe you should go home to be with parents and not worry about living with a guy. Get your life straight.... first and foremost.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

Death vs Divorce Posted: 12/27/2006 8:36:51 PM
For me, divorce is very similar in feeling to death....just memories. I know they are alive, but I have no contact and don't even have a location on them....and don't care to.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

My BEST FRIEND is heading downhill, what do I do? Posted: 12/27/2006 4:54:51 PM
Hi OP, you really have to turn your back on him. As long as he has you for a crutch he will continue to do what he is doing. You and all his caring friends and family need to use some tough love and turn away from him until he wants some help. You asked what should you do? I say you do nothing until he truly is willing to help himself.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

My boyfriend makes rude comments Posted: 12/27/2006 9:42:35 AM
Lina you are a beautiful young lady. Get rid of that weight you have tied around your neck...you can do better finding a b/f who will adore you! Move on!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

How to deal with heartbreak of ending a marriage? Posted: 12/27/2006 9:34:43 AM
OP you are truly a piece of work. Your wife didn't even see this coming, from what I can gather about you so far. You didn't marry her yesterday, you must have wanted this kind of woman....you stuck with her for 24 years...so now you are changing horses in the middle of a raging river??? I hope you get EVERYTHING that is coming to you. I hope you can sleep at night...but if I were you, I would take very good care to protect your vital parts.... Man I wish I didn't have this gift of seeing into the future!!!!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Why do i Posted: 12/27/2006 9:21:29 AM
I don't know...I find the same thing though....but to a lesser extent. I have found one person not to be a know-it-all and demanding person. The last one really had a screw loose! He called himself "the comforter" that God sent. I'm not crazy, so why do I attract crazy acting men who think they are God's right hand man?

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Need input on a situation Posted: 12/26/2006 3:38:33 PM
I say you and your fiance confront the guy and tell him that he had better never lay a hand on you again or you will tell his gf. I wouldn't bother the gf right now...she is grieving...but I would tell her after if you feel obligated to because it is a friendship. Yours probably isn't the only A$$ he is grabbing either.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

what do these mean???? Posted: 12/26/2006 12:56:04 PM
Wow! Thanks! ........................................................................

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Internet Chat Lingo - what do these mean????[Locked - Redundant] Posted: 12/26/2006 12:44:33 PM
OK...I know what some of these abreviations mean...LMAO...Laughing my a$$ off, but what does IMO and JMO mean??? I see them all the time and I am at a loss to what they mean.

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 72 (view)

who is responsible law or women? Posted: 12/26/2006 8:11:01 AM
It depends on who you ask.....

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 57 (view)

Same ole faces keep appearing on dating sites...why? Posted: 12/26/2006 6:39:47 AM
Well, for me, I've been on here before. I've been on for about a year...I would meet someone and give it a try and when it didn't work out, I just come back with another s/n and either another picture of me, or my babies. I have a very compllicated life with obligations to an adult disabled child, so I cannot just up and leave her or just let anyone into my life. I would love to get married and have a life of my own, but that isn't possible....so I am mainly here for the forums and the company I get from the friends I have made here. Rain

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Friend turned business associate turned something else! Posted: 12/24/2006 7:49:26 PM
I am protected. And if you can track a bar code...I have that info also...from the uniform bar code council...or whatever it is called...is saved in my PC. I have other identifying numbers also....so I don't think I can get cheated. He has been above board all the way, sharing information. It is now that he has changed his tune and said he will no longer talk to us. Anyway I guess I will just leave this alone....thanks for the advice. Merry Christmas! Rain

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

Marriage is Boring Posted: 12/24/2006 3:03:25 PM
Ok Frogkisser...my b/f a couple of years ago was knick named Kermit!

*Rain*

Joined: 11/29/2006

Msg: 60 (view)

Marriage is Boring Posted: 12/24/2006 3:00:42 PM
OP why belabor the point that you are or are not alone...and what others do? To many marriage is not boring...it is what the two involved make of it. Some people are just into having another human being to curl up to at night. Go figure???

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