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lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Question about pseudo blowjobs Posted: 2/22/2009 10:05:00 PM
Honesty is a good thing but the TIMING was really bad.......

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

is it true that guys like bi-sexual women? Posted: 2/22/2009 9:49:40 PM
is it true that all guys like the same thing ? OMG !! I personally wouldnt want to marry a Bi chick, but most guys I know would love to date one. I think if you want to be with a pervert who just wants to see you and another woman together, go for it.....if you want a serious relationship, then dont tell him until about 3 or 4 dates.....if he is open minded like me it wont bother him even if hes not into that......but if you tell him the first date, sex will be the only thing on his mind and he will be wondering every single day when he will get his 3some.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

An Ex started calling again - What does it mean? Posted: 2/22/2009 9:44:23 PM
My first guess would agree with reply #1 but after reading your post again I guess there is a possibility he still has feelings for you and wants to stay near you but you better be careful if you take him for his word. If he says he only wants to be friends, then you have to make a choice. Either let him fade intot he past, or give him a chance to be your friend.....I mean NO SEX and maybe even date another guy just to check if he is really serious. It doesnt have to be a guy youre into, just someone to date a couple of times. If he is cool with you dating another guy and not having sex with you, then he is a true friend. If he has a problem with any of that then you will know what his real motives are. Remember sometimes guys (and girls) dont want to be with you, but they dont want anyone else to be with you either, its immature and possessive. If he shows any signs that he doesnt just want to be your friend, then let it fade into the distance or you will get hurt again.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

whats the point Posted: 2/22/2009 9:33:31 PM
Like response 2 said, chill out. But I feel for ya I was there for many years......maybe you should do what I did. Look in Vietnam, they have LOTS of wonderful sweet and conservative old fashioned girls there who are faithful. American women just dont cut it when it comes to marriage material, thats a fact.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

he hurt me but i still love him Posted: 2/22/2009 9:30:22 PM
First of all my 12 year old neice writes better than that. I think I know what your problem is. You are so focused on men that you cant focus on english. You are the type of woman that jerks like this look for. If someone else told you this story what would you tell her ? Go ahead and chase down a freaky guy like that ? Get some self esteem, and grow up. He doesnt care about you, the more time you spend with him the worse your life will get.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Long Distance Relationship that works Posted: 2/22/2009 9:26:06 PM
I met a girl on plentyoffish who lives exactly 12 hours in time zone difference. In case you dont know what that means, its the EXACT OPPOSITE side of the planet. We have been talking for about 2 years now, I flew out to see her a few times, and she just got her approval to come to America, and we will be married in a few months. Thanks plenty of fish, youre the best site and youre free, please stay that way for those who have not met the one yet. My advice to people who havent found the one yet.....most of you are limiting yourself to the ones who live near you. I know its hard to go outside that barrier but if you take away all the limits, you just might find someone who is exactly what you are looking for. My advice to men who are sick of dating someone who becomes your rival......look in Vietnam, theyre conservative, simple, friendly, and therye not gold diggers like thailand and phillipines. My advice to women.....quit going after bad boys, and complaining that theyre bad.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

push to meet or be ok with it?? Posted: 4/9/2008 3:17:57 PM
UPDATE: I recently posted on this thread about my situation which is similar to yours. I have been talking with someone on the other side of the planet for a year now, and have been making plans, then changing them and trying to meet her. I wanted to let you all know that it finally happened, and I flew for 36 hours and we finally got to meet in person. We had a wonderful time, and got each other promise rings, and are now talking about a finace visa. You think 1400 miles is hard ? try 14,000 miles !! If you really like each other, why let distance be a problem, just keep in mind one of you has to relocate if it works out. Our divorce rate is 50-70% depending n what state you live in. Why settle for "good enough" just because someone lives close to you, then become part of that statistic ? If you found someone who you are truly compatible with, and one of you is willing to relocate, then why not give it a shot ? you only live once !! make the best of it !!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

push to meet or be ok with it?? Posted: 3/17/2008 2:51:08 PM
I am in his shoes. Not his literal shoes, but I have met someone who lives VERY far away, and I plan to see her as soon as I can. When it comes to flying, you don't exactly want to go through all the airport crap for a 2 hour date and go back home. In order to leave for say a week, you have to get things in order, and as you try to do that new things come up to slow down the process. I think he is fortunate that you have patience, and I say, if you believe he isn't married or playing a game with you, stay patient with him. I am the type that will look ANYWHERE to find someone who is really good for me. I think people that settle for crap just because they live close by are good divorce candidates. If you REALLY know him and you REALLY like him, it should be worth waiting for. If he is sincere then he wants to meet you as bad as you want to meet him !! GIRLS: DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS !! ( I always put that in my posts, friends have a way of being negative and overprotective) I know that with some guys, "busy-ness" can really mean that they just dont have time for you or are not that interested. I honestly dont see that as the case here. And I feel like I want him to come when it works out well for him to come, and when he wants to come, and not feel like he has to pull it off sooner because I am pushing him. I say trust your heart/gut. I am so glad the girl I have met expresses her desire to see me as soon as possible, but gives me respect and understanding when plans move up because of things beyond my control. I plan to see her now in about 3 weeks, and we have been talking over 6 months.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

A bit of an update... Posted: 3/17/2008 2:31:42 PM
So, your best friend said it is going to end badly.......well when you consider the odds, the average person has 20 relationships before marriage, and 50% of those end, she has a good chance of being right, and will say "I told you so" but if you take her advice, you will miss out on some excitement. Also, you might even prove her wrong. GIRLS: NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS !!! On the other hand, I would be leery about someone who just stopped talking to you with no explanation. Are you sure financial problems were the only thing he was working on? I tend to agree with your friend on this one, but I still say: DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS !!!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

children and the right to access Posted: 3/17/2008 2:21:55 PM
Some good advice in here, I hope it has an effect on you. But your second comment has me wondering. I think something very important is at stake here. Are you what could be called Father Material ? I mean are you a good example for your son? 1. Are you paying child support because it is the right thing to do regardless of what she does with it? 2. Are you willing to fight for a good cause or do you look to other people for advice and direction? 3. Do you know how to ignore verbal attacks? I am wondering why after having a relationship with you, she doesn't think you are fit to be a father figure for the son you share together. She probably knows you better than I do, after 10+ years together (12 year old son/ split up 2 years ago) so, all I can go by is what you have posted but I made 3 points that I dont think you have a grip on yet.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

I've lost that loving feeling Posted: 3/17/2008 2:01:53 PM
I agree with the poster that said you need therapy. We had a lot in common and the same family values........He wanted marriage or nothing and he left. Is that the same family values you have ? Anyway, I do not think it is normal to have the feeling you don't need a s/o. Some people take it to the extreme and can't live without someone.....anyone!! just someone please love me !! but you're on the opposite end of the scale. It is not normal to be 34 and have never been in love. I do not think there is only ONE person make just for you, if that was the case, and he died of a childhood disease, you would be left alone for the rest of your life. You might be able to find men who are not into cuddling, and wouldn't mind not holding hands while watching TV (that would be most of us) but to not have feelings, to walk away from a 5 year live-in relationship and never even think about it again is not normal. As another poster said, you had a bad childhood that lead to your first marriage, you did it to get away from your family. But independent is not the word for you. IMHO. Then again you say that you are happy with who you are, so if you are also happy with your condition, maybe you should just stay independent. You don't have to do what all of your friends are doing. If you can live without love, then go ahead and do it. But I think in reality everyone needs love. You never experienced it when growing up, so you have a numbness. If you got some therapy, maybe you can get in touch with the feelings that are buried deep inside you. I don't think you are doomed, but I wonder if you will take the advice of the people you have asked, who tell you to talk to a professional ?

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

detach...with love Posted: 2/22/2008 1:57:49 PM
I think I will say something about Freds post and hope to redeem men out of the idiocy he has left us with. I agree that it is better to detach in a loving way. I have remained friends with many of my ex girlfriends. I would like to say that Freds views expressed are not necessarily the views of all men (disclaimer). There are some in both genders I might add, that are not mature enough to handle the fact that sometimes 2 people just don't mix well and are not made for each other. When you find out the one you are separating from has that kind of immaturity you simply thank yourself for getting out of it alive, and let them be what they will be.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

Is life all about choices? Posted: 2/22/2008 1:51:22 PM
Your life today is a result of the choices you made yesterday. If you are ever in a situation where you "have no choice" it is still a result of previous choices. But if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

If you know a person, does loyalty matter? Posted: 2/17/2008 9:32:51 PM
Interesting question, it is something I have explored my entire life. This thread is in the "relationships" column, so I will first address it that way: YES IT IS VERY IMPORTANT !!! But I read the way the OP worded it and I assume it is meant to be in all parts of life. I don't think I ever had a friend I could trust 100% so I understand what you mean by only trusting them with what they are really capable of. I look at this part of the forum to be about relationships, and if I am going to marry someone, they must be faithful to me, and I will be faithful to them, otherwise, why get married ?

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Love will come to you if you just wait? Posted: 12/6/2007 10:58:14 PM
Here is the thing: You are just thinking about it so much. I have found that the times that I was thinking about it too much, then it would never happen. Seems it still hasn't happened....are you still thinking about it? No, but seriously, thats the stupidest advice anyone ever gave me. I actually fell for it, and got myself doing other things, and occupying my time with hobbys and you know what happened ? NOTHING !! so I quit ignoring my desires, and went out and met women !! Ok, I probably havent met the right one yet, but I get dates now !!!! Why ? because like some of you people said, you have to make an effort for anything in life to happen. My mom gave me that advice once a long time ago, and I have heard this many times by.....women. Ok, lets see.....men do most of the asking, and are the aggressors (traditionally, and most of the time still) so its EASY for a woman to say she met someone without looking......When I was in 1st grade, girls used to chase me to kiss me, but that was 1st grade......things are a bit different now......do nothing, and get nothing.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

Does a dying person still deserve love? Posted: 12/6/2007 10:42:50 PM
Ok, first of all, everyone deserves love equally, yet by some philosophies no one "deserves" anything. Second, we are all dying. Some sooner others later, but we will all die, and are in the process of it now. Life is temporary. Which leads me to the conclusion that romantic love is temporary and for the living and not yet dead. Life is like a TV episode, its fun, and can take you anywhere, then its over. Love is for giving and not taking, so if you are the one dying and someone loves you, just let it be.....

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 79 (view)

prefer not to say...WTF??? Posted: 11/25/2007 5:58:01 AM
This is about the funniest thread I have seen yet. I am one of the biggest privacy advocates there is, so YES I respect a persons privacy about these issues. However, this is a place that puts you in a spotlight. When its election time do you say to yourself "do not judge people so any candidate is fine"? This is a place where you will be scrutinized, and judged. Don't like it? Tough, thats exactly what this site is for. That being said, I can and will judge you by what you say. Anything unanswered will be assumed to be the worst. I am not getting any younger and am not wasting my time with guessing games or any games for that matter. SO, you have your face pic on a public site, but no one knows your address. If they were neighbors and recognized you, they would already know if you had kids. They probably would know if you smoke. Whats the big deal telling a stranger if you have kids or not......do you keep them chained up in the closet? Do you take them out in public and show every stranger walking by that they exist ? If you have prefer not to say in either kids question, I will move on. Just as you have a right to privacy, I have a right to assume the worst. No problem, we are both happy, and never met each other. :p If you put prefer not to say in any other category than kids....I cannot think of any excuse. Body type? If you prefer not to say then I prefer not to see it either. Drugs? hmm go to rehab, check the no box, and maybe I will talk to you. If you prefer to keep everything a secret until I have half a year invested in you, I prefer to keep on fishing !!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Do You Ever ... Posted: 10/29/2007 6:24:07 AM
Wow, thats depressing.....Yes I have wished I had someone to call, to share something interesting with, but I refuse to sit around on a Saturday night watching the sands fall. Life is still a wonderful thing, you came into this life alone, not being able to speak, or share information with people, and when you die, you will also be alone in your journey to whatever comes next, so whats wrong with living alone? Wow, if I read this post twice, I would need an antidepressant...

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Friends who play games.... Posted: 9/16/2007 10:25:07 PM
You are right that she is not really interested in him, but she is a control freak. If he were to figure that out they would no longer be friends, and it would probably be the best thing he could do for himself. It seems they have been back and forth for so long it is a part of their lives, like an old pair of boots that you can't throw away because they're so comfortable. There is probably nothing you can do except to say things here and there that lead him to his own conclusion about her controlling him. You cant spell it out for him, he has to come to the conclusion for himself. But you can ask questions that lead him that direction

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

why cant men say what they mean Posted: 9/16/2007 10:15:11 PM
hmm interesting.....since when do women say what they mean ? I have to warn you, since you are so young, a LOT of men will say what you want to hear. They dont then change their minds, then reveal the truth. There is a reason they say what you want to hear, and I think you can figure that part out.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Are nymphomaniacs interested in having sex with almost any man? Posted: 9/16/2007 10:05:00 PM
This thread is too funny !! I cant believe the camera guy has so much trouble reading a dictionary!! Sorry I never insulted anyone here before, but holy crap !! No way I am STILL LAUGHING !!! No, but seriously, I had a GF that was one, for real. She was totally normal, except she could never get enough. Everyone has some sort of mental illness or another, it doesnt make us all lunatics. One illness does not make another necessarily. Imagine someone addicted to coffee, will that person not care what kind of liquid it is, and try to drink everything? I think you could describe it that way. BUT the incredible desire could theoretically cause some nymphomaniacs to go for more than one man, but thats up to the individual, and not part of the mania.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Breast implants Posted: 9/16/2007 9:49:44 PM
So much great input here. First I agree with comment 9 that said people with low self esteem tend to be promiscuous. That would explain the reason both of them were hard to keep monogamous. I happen to know a wonderful woman with implants, but I would guess this is a rare thing. Just a guess !! Dont bite my head off, I am not PRE judging. I also have to agree with the post about the survey done that shows that MOST men prefer what most women naturally are. This idea that men like big tits comes from sitting in front of the tube too much....and dating men with mommy issues. Yes there are a few normal men that like em huge but I would call that a rare case. Most of all I have to agree with howbigisyourlove about what is REALLY important, and what is superficial never lasts.... I would assume that anyone who has surgery on any part of the body that relates to sex, would want more sex than someone who never thought about surgery. It just makes sense that if you're not thinking about it, you're not thinking about it. Personally I would rather have a woman with an A cup than fake C's. I am more of an ass man anyway

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 185 (view)

Falling asleep during a BJ Posted: 9/16/2007 9:35:23 PM
Sounds like you need some hands on training.....I would be willing to coach you on how to be the best !!! Lol actually I only fell asleep during that once, it was after being awake for 3 days straight. I have been woken up that way many times, but only fell asleep once, and it would not have happened if i wasn't dead tired !

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

I'd do her, I wouldn't do her.... Posted: 9/16/2007 9:26:02 PM
Wait a minute....you used the term "unfair" and I wonder.....should we pass a low that everyone has to become an "equal opportunity dater" ? Should we give someone a chance, even though we are not interested in them for ANY reason ? Maybe after we get people to date people they are NOT attracted to, we can cure homosexuality !! Is it unfair ? I believe ALMOST ANY woman can be attractive if she works on her image, and lives a healthy lifestyle !! Is it unfair that a man doesn't like cellulite, or a woman doesn't like a beer gut ? I think not....I think it would be unfair to expect someone to live with your mess that you created yourself !!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

I'd do her, I wouldn't do her.... Posted: 9/16/2007 9:22:01 PM
I was about to agree that it is not gender specific, then I saw what " Wishes Granted" said in post #6. Yes women make the decision just as fast, but it is more than visual for them. I have to admit, yes us men ARE that visual. But I also have to iterate on this fact: Men will make that choice instantly if he "would do her" but that does not mean he actually would any time, any place in any condition. Thats where men get separated. Most men will have sex with ANYTHING as long as their friends wont find out !! Other men, like myself, might see an attractive woman and think "I would do her" then get totally turned off as soon as she speaks.....so for a lot of us it is instantly "so far she is do-able" OR nope, no way never !! then again I heard fat chicks are like mopeds.....they're a lot of fun until your friends see you on one.....

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

Is he two timing me? Posted: 9/16/2007 9:04:49 PM
Wait a minute.....am I the only one that thinks it is strange that you are having "great sex" but have no idea where he lives, and its NOT a one night stand ??? I just do not see the priorities the same I guess......if you have no idea where he lives IT'S NOT A RELATIONSHIP !!! If you have no idea where he lives, then you have no right calling it 2 timing !! its JUST SEX !!! I don't care if he has 10 girlfriends, if there is no commitment, then its not 2 or 10 timing. I sometimes wonder what some people think when they act like one type, and want the rewards of another. You are having an affair, simple as that !! you have a phone number and no address, and you wonder if he is seeing another woman ??? IT DOESN'T MATTER !! Until i read the part about not knowing his address, I was going to say that women are pretty good at premonition....and if you think he is cheating he probably is....Or he really is a busy guy....but it wouldnt be cool to accuse him, or spy on him, and you should just ask him straight up. But since I read that part, I just wonder what you are even thinking....

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 65 (view)

What do you think about women gamers? Posted: 9/6/2007 8:52:00 PM
Feel like moving south about 1500 miles ?? I would love to have a girlfriend who is in touch with her inner child, and likes to do fun things that we can do together, besides shopping and gossiping.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

why does my race car driving scare men off? Posted: 9/6/2007 8:49:04 PM
Some very good input in here, I wonder, since you have not replied to any of them, did you ever come back to READ the input, or were you just venting? The biggest one I think you should check out, is the fact that I can tell what kind of car you drive, but have no idea what your face looks like. Until I see your response to the postings in here I will assume you are not coming back to read the input and have just vented your frustrations, blamed men, and went your way. Of course its easier to think everyone else has a problem, than it is to make personal changes, but sometimes we need to face facts and grow up. I had just recently responded to a woman in my state that races dragsters. She was quite hot looking, and actually had facial photos on her profile. She talked about OTHER interests too. To be honest with you, even if you lived in my very city, I have no idea what you look like, but I do know that you spend a LOT of time with men, and none of them are taking you out.....

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Do men consider whats in the background of their photo's? Posted: 9/6/2007 8:39:31 PM
I was wondering the same thing about women !!!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

If it's meant to be, it will happen Posted: 9/6/2007 8:06:20 PM
Ok, I have a question for all of you think REALLY think if something was meant to be it will be. Does that mean I can sit on my couch the rest of my life and watch everything just be? Automatically? Hows this for an idea.....if it was NOT meant to be, it will not be, but there are MANY options in life. I believe some things were NOT meant to be, but we can make a lot of GOOD choices in life that are all acceptable. I just don't understand people that forget about the human choice element, as if we are powerless against our fate. As if no matter what some people will have success and some will fail, and effort has nothing to do with it. HELLO !!!! Oh, and one more thing. Life is a journey, not a destination.....who cares about "destiny" ?

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

DO MEN TAKE BREAK-UPS THE HARDEST????????? Posted: 9/6/2007 7:54:45 PM
I would have to say both sexes deal with it pretty much the same ways.....I have seen both sexes out with new dates right away, or even BEFORE the divorce......but- You don't hear about many women doing a murder/suicide or stalking the ex near as often as you hear about men doing it. I think when women do irrational things it is more out of jealousy (I think women have more jealousy issues) but men do it out of real hurt, which most will not admit to even having in the first place. I have to admit that the reason I have never been married, is because I was smart enough to see that none of the relationships I have had so far were marriage material, and I would not do well in a divorce. I would probably handle it better than a lot of men, and wouldn't hate women or end up abusive, but it would hurt me badly. It would probably take me a long time to get back into dating, and that is not healthy, so I will wait until the rightone comes along, and if it never happens, so be it !

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

girly girls Posted: 8/17/2007 5:15:37 PM
My assessment on this is based on experience. I have dated a few tomboys, and the reasons for breaking up were never because it wasn't working out with us, it was always geography. I have moved a lot in my lifetime. When I have dated girly girls, there is always the complaints about men, and they make me feel like an alien. Girly girls are impossible to please, not because of who I am but WHAT I am......because I am male. Besides a woman that can go out and have fun and get dirty is......FUN !! I have had many wonderful times with "daddys girl" and tomboys, and have yet to meet a girly girl that is understanding that men are different than women, and want to stay that way. I do not want to be feminized !! Don't get me wrong about all this, if I met a girly girl that let me be a man, and liked me for being a man, then great !! I dont want to masculinize a woman. Live and let live....be and let be !!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

can you just tell????? Posted: 8/17/2007 4:48:23 PM
I hate to put it this way, but if anyone could "just tell" they wouldn't be here. What I mean is, if anyone ever experienced "finding the one and only" they would be with that person right now, and not on here. I have heard it said that you cant really tell if someone is perfect for you, but you can tell if they are totally wrong. In the real world there is no perfect. Every good relationship has troubles, but the love for each other makes it workable, makes it work, and brings you through the hard times. There will be compromise and give and take. I think that sort of feeling has to develop and does not happen by chemistry. Chemistry is just a good starting point.....

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

self fulfilling prophecy Posted: 8/17/2007 4:43:51 PM
I am afraid I have to agree with both hypno cat and realist. You see, I have seen how confidence works in life, and I can also see that when we are dealing with other peoples wills, our own confidence is only one of many factors. You can be the most confident person in the world, and yet there will still be people that you cannot satisfy. As far as the example given by the OP, it is a major factor. Lack of confidence is not only self fulfilling, but unattractive as well.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Do people really want friends Posted: 8/17/2007 4:37:58 PM
OP if your profile said you were looking for friends, maybe you would have better luck finding friends.....someone who is looking for friends might be scared of someone saying hi that has a profile saying they are looking for long term...... But on the other hand, this IS a dating site. I feel most people that say they are looking for friends are looking for more, but want to take it slow, and want to make rejecting 99.9% of the population easier to do. This isn't necessarily being dishonest, but they are here looking for "friends first" or a pool of friends to pick from.....or there are others like myself that are new in town, and only want to make some new friends locally.....

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

2nd Chances Posted: 8/17/2007 4:26:14 PM
My first thought is "insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results" but thats where there is either hope or loss of hope..... In other words, you have to do something different. It sounds like you seriously need counseling. You both have issues you need resolved. His issues are noted in your posting, he has to learn to deal with anger, and become less selfish with his time. You issue is the fact that you bottle everything up, and don't have what it takes to voice your opinion. Whatever the reason is, you both need counseling if it is going to work. If one or both of you refuse to get a 3rd party to mediate between you, it is probably going to fail.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

I really need help going about this situation. Posted: 8/2/2007 4:50:11 AM
He should know.....I am sure he knows the tank top wasn't there when he left the room then suddenly it was and he hid it. Even if it was innocent, he should have explained it instead of hiding it. But I still think you should talk about it. Maybe he did have someone else over, you are not in a committed relationship. Maybe his last GF came by for some remenescing and he didn't want to hurt your feelings or jeopardize what is beginning to happen. whatever it is you should get him to be honest about it, and let him know that you appreciate honesty. It might hurt your feelings, but you should get over it. Its not cheating.....yet ! One guy said it could have been his sisters.....likely excuse, and that would make it incest.....lol!!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 197 (view)

Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ??? Posted: 8/2/2007 4:40:24 AM
I don't think it is intentional and I dont think every time it happens it is because the guy is an A$$. I personally am more into the butt than the chest. Its not a big deal for me, yet I have found myself not being able to control my looking sometimes if they have a shirt that shows cleavage and wear a necklace with a charm hanging between them. I cant explain WHY I look because they might not even be attractive, but sometimes it happens. I am usually very polite and conscious of these things, but there are times when it is really hard not to look !! Its like when you drive down the freeway and you see a car rolled over. You really shouldn't stare at someones demise, but you do anyway !! I guarantee if men walked around with part of their stuff showing, you would catch yourself glancing down more often too. I cant believe how many MEN here say a guy is a jerk if he looks at you there......come on now, lets be real, I know for a fact that some women sometimes dress to lure that kind of look.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Why are so many middle-age men in the online-dating-world into motorcycles? Posted: 8/2/2007 4:29:10 AM
Because we can finally afford them :p

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

How easy is it for a guy to find no-strings sex? Posted: 8/2/2007 4:27:18 AM
I have never had a one night stand that started at a bar. But I have had many times that I felt used and was just a piece of meat. The no strings part? I have to agree that it doesn't exist. The times that I knew it was going to be a one night stand, they always came back at a later time for more, and it slowly became a regular thing then it was a half relationship. I say half because those types want to own you but not have to answer to you. They want to put you on the shelf until they want you again. I am a pretty easygoing guy, so I guess it is my fault I let it happen that way, but hey I had my fun too...... There have been other times a woman pretended to want a relationship, rushed into sex, and didn't call again for about a month then wanted to do the same thing. Gee I wonder was it a month or 28 days.....

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Why Do I Get Rejected If... Posted: 8/2/2007 4:06:47 AM
You're right you ARE gorgeous......I need more information. What type of guy are you looking for? I don't think many church boys are into metalheads..... Also, are you playing hard to get ? or do you come off the wrong way when you are truly interested? You are only 19 and have plenty of time to find plenty of fish !!! Keep that in mind. Your comment "I fail at life" shows me that you might be unconsciously sabotaging yourself. Learn to relax , and have more confidence in yourself.......

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

A connection before meeting? Posted: 8/2/2007 3:49:21 AM
This is an interesting topic. There have been many marriages that started this way. So just because "we used to do it a different way" doesn't make this inferior. I see this as a good way to meet a lot of people in a short amount of time, and who has a lot of time these days? Who is looking for a potential mate in a club or bar these days? You have to spend a lot of time at the bar to meet someone compatible..... Now, is it possible to establish a connection? Depends on what you call a connection. I don't think it is wise to say "I love you" to an online persona, but you can tell if you are potentially compatible based on goals, desires, physical attraction (provided they have up to date pics) and whatever else you find important. Once you have figured out that this person has potential then it is time to meet. I do not know why some people want to talk online for long periods of time when internet people are the same as people you meet in other public places. You will never know what the person is REALLY like until you know them for a while. This means in person. It is too easy to fake who you are here. You can fake it in person too, but the signs of lies are easier to detect, besides: Who is looking for a partner to type with and talk about fantasies ? The whole purpose of all this is to meet someone in person !!!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

How many times do you let someone blow you off before you let them go? Posted: 8/2/2007 3:37:27 AM
I have to say it is a comprehensive issue. The first thing I would say is how long have you known each other. This is important, you cant hold a total stranger down who might have been busy and does not value your relationship because you do not even have one yet. Be flexible. If the relationship is still budding, this is an important time to show your respect for each other. It is way to easy to walk away and it is important to show someone that you respect them and want to see them. Zero tolerance. If you are in an old relationship then a little bit of understanding is necessary. You have to give each other some space. In this aspect I have to ask you to define "blowing you off" did they at least give you a warning phone call and let you know something came up? If not then the respect you thought you had does not exist. Leave. If you did get the warning phone call in a decent amount of time, then be realistic. Don't let it keep happening, and make sure it is a decent excuse.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

How important is sex in a relationship? Posted: 8/2/2007 3:30:03 AM
@ what EZAK said !!! Well, I have noticed sex is kinda like pizza, even when its not that great its still pretty good. Actually I like a lot of the posts in here, like "if sex wasnt important we would all be just friends" The first time between 2 people can often turn out bad, or at least not that great. A guy can be nervous and not last long, or either one could be totally out of rhythm or used to the way someone else did it. I have always noticed that the more you care for each other the better it is, so if you are in a new relationship give it time. If time goes by and there are problems, I can't see continuing. Personally I have yet to complain or have a complaint. It surprises me that people are having issues in this department. If you care about someone you will find out what they like and take care of them.....This isnt rocket science, its sex !!! You don't have to be an athlete (trust me I am not one) to please each other !!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 361 (view)

So please tell me...what is it with (some) men that think younger women are better??? Posted: 8/2/2007 3:18:38 AM
Isn't it obvious? People get wrinkles as they age. I see all the theories and talk about stealing youth, preserving youth etc. Its a beauty thing. If a man is in his 50's andhe wants a "trophy wife" do you think he is going to show off a beautiful but slightly wrinkled woman??? You are talking about superficial people, not EVERY man is after a woman 20 years younger......the ones that are just want someone who is perfect. I didn't know it was all that complicated and psychological......

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Is this a lie? Posted: 8/2/2007 3:06:28 AM
Ok I have a few things to say: First of all you are extremely beautiful mind if I move to naples? Second, if you already had a few shots, can you be totally sure that "last drop" was really watered down? OR id it just seem that way since your throat and mouth are used to it. Third, you made a mountain out of a mole hill, and backed him into a corner, he may have thought it was an innocent lie at first then it became something much bigger when you caught him. What I mean is, if he watered it down, and is a nice trustworthy guy, he probably didnt want to be a party pooper, and you HAD to confront him on it. Well his first reaction was to hide what he had done.....and he lied. I cannot say if he would lie about everything just because he lied about this. Men our age know that women like to be lied to sometimes like when you ask "does this make my butt look big" ? Fourth, maybe you got an opportunity to see his true character. Maybe he is the type who would lie about anything, or just to cover his A**. I don't know this guy so you will have to figure that out for yourself. But I still have to go on thinking that it would have been better if you did not confront this issue. He would no have had to lie, and you could have had fun, and You would have known that he was willing to play along for your benefit. I honestly think he was doing just that, and it was not more than that. He wanted you to have fun, and he felt he had enough, and wanted to play along so you would have fun. Also you forgot to mention if he had to drive home that night........

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Are all men this confusing Posted: 8/2/2007 2:52:22 AM
I have a pretty good idea of whats going on. Women can be just as confusing , in the same way for the same reasons. I have learned that people want what they cant have, or at least a little challenge. Usually this happens when you are ALMOST everything they want. Men and women both do this. We/they want the company, want the companionship, and everything else, but are not quite sure if this is the right one, so we/they waver for a little while. Sometimes it is the fear of getting serious. Sometimes it is the fear of making a huge mistake. There can be many reasons, but it comes down to there being a small issue that is not big enough to end everything completely. The one thing that is almost impossible is to get someone to tell you exactly what that issue is.

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Curious Situation Posted: 8/2/2007 2:44:04 AM
Yes you got used, played. I have had this happen too, and it took a while for me to figure it out too. Us men are not used to this situation but it happens to women all the time. I learned to take it as a compliment and let it go. What else can you do? She used the "I feel comfortable with you" line to speed up the process and was not interesting in wasting time getting to know you better. It also had the side effect of making you think she was more innocent. A woman will never admit to this behavior, so don't expect an explanation from her , but look at what other women in this thread had to say......

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 145 (view)

Sex longer than a minute, does it exist...? Posted: 8/2/2007 2:37:39 AM
Is this a common experience for you? Because if it is I am glad I don't live there and eat the same food and drink the same water as men in your area!!!

lookingformygirl

Joined: 12/2/2006

Msg: 603 (view)

gun control in the usa Posted: 8/1/2007 9:09:17 PM
He's also got two very strong points that would logically lead to him starting this thread. As a foreigner, he's not "caught up in the myth" of firearms. As a Canadian, like I am, he's also pretty familiar with your society - as I am. We grow up as "virtual Americans" , and live in pretty much the same manner you do. lol I hear funny things like this all the time. I guess you haven seen my other post 1 page back......how many times have I heard that Canada is superior to America, then the same people talk about how America effects them.....interesting I do not find myself effected by Canada, unless I am drinking their beer !! Why don't you realize that different strokes are for different folks. I heard about 6 recent murders in Canada, and if those people were armed, maybe they could have defended themselves. When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have them. If you had read more posts, you would see the true facts about where the states hand out more carry permits crime rates drop. Australia had an increase in violent crime when they took away the guns. Why don't you look at the facts instead of spewing out the same old anti gun propaganda that only causes more problems?

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