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 Author Thread: What's Going Through His Mind?
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What's Going Through His Mind?
Posted: 9/25/2012 10:34:40 AM
If he does not contact you, stop worrying about him. There are numerous possibilities. I lean toward what Tall said above. His idea of a good time probably has to do with the two of you alone, and possibly reasonably sober. If you don't remember what happened, you were drunk. That is not attractive to some men.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How to set up a date/ meeting?
Posted: 9/24/2012 10:50:56 AM
Just send her your number and ask if she would like to talk on the phone. If you enjoy talking to her on the phone, ask her if she would like to meet. Simple. By giving her your number, you give her the opportunity to block her number when/if she calls.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Photos of Kate
Posted: 9/22/2012 11:14:31 AM
I agree that they deserve their privacy, even though they are celebrities. They should not reasonably expect to have any privacy unless indoors, and even then they would have to be aware of the lengths paparazzi will go. The monetary rewards of such a photo is astounding. It is most likely legal, but depending on your view, may be morally repugnant. These photos are worth so much because there is a huge demand/market for them. Apparently, many people have no qualms with buying the magazines and newspapers/tabloids that publish this type of photo. In my opinion, they share the responsibility for the paparazzi's behavior, just as a person buying illegal drugs shares the responsibility of the deaths of many people due to the drug trade. It is one thing to take photos of celebrities when they are in public, and doing so in a respectful manner, and another chasing them down or in some way invading their privacy when it should be reasonably expected.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
The age old question: Can men and women be just friends?
Posted: 9/18/2012 3:25:52 PM

At one point he said "all of your male friends have thought about having sex with you". (Wow...really don't agree with that one!)


I agree. Especially in your age range, if they are heterosexual, they have thought of what it would be like to have sex with you. That doesn't mean they have any intention of acting on the thoughts. I disagree with him as to the assertion men can't be "just friends". It's certainly possible, and many women have such friends.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
turn offs or red flags in first conversations
Posted: 9/15/2012 11:53:35 AM

What are some of the red flags or turnoffs you see in the early messages, phone chats or first dates.


Messages - Poor grammar & short messages

Phone chats - Asking about personal finances (Do you have a mortgage?)

First dates - Theoretically, a feeling of being interrogated. I just want to enjoy each others company. If we like each other, we can discuss more important issues later in the dating process.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Am I on the back burner?
Posted: 9/12/2012 4:24:22 PM
You're not even there. You're on the buffet under a Sterno (burner).

JK - It doesn't sound like you are a priority. If you are wondering, it most likely means you are not getting what you want out of the situation. It also likely means she is not interested in you to the degree needed for a successful relationship.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Gentlemen: how should I manage my expectations?
Posted: 9/12/2012 3:37:44 PM
3) Is it too early to have the "exclusivity" talk by date 5..or 6


I don't think so. I would love it if a woman I cared for felt the same about me and had this discussion fairly early on.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Gentlemen: how should I manage my expectations?
Posted: 9/12/2012 3:22:54 PM
1)For a man, once you've passed the intimate/sexual phase, do you still like to "look around"? Or is it sign that you may be becoming exclusive?


I would have stopped looking around well before that "phase". I could not build the emotional attachment I want to feel with someone before being intimate if I was seeing more than one women. I don't know if that is very typical, though.

2)After how many dates/encounters do you really start to consider yourself in a relationship status?


Ideally, we would be dating exclusively from the beginning, for the reason stated above. I wouldn't go on many dates with a woman who did not feel the same way. As for a relationship, I don't think I would keep track of dates. I would simply do what felt right for me, and for her.


3) What can I do, as a woman, to make him stop looking around and commit to me? I know this one is maybe a bit too much...but any suggestions are appreciated.


He has to want to do that himself. You can be YOU, and if he values you to the extent you would like him to, it will fall into place without undue influences in either direction.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Give this one a spin.
Posted: 9/12/2012 12:16:05 PM
The main problem I see with your profile is you seem apologetic and not confident enough about some aspects of your life. Keep it all positive. Don't use terms such as 'hopefully".
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where am I going wrong?
Posted: 9/12/2012 12:04:19 PM
Hi,

You do need better photos. In your primary photo, you seem to stiff, and your hands are together. That could be seen as an unwelcoming sign. You are also sitting on a toolbox. Women are likely to appreciate a guy who can fix their car, but it's not something likely to be seen as romantic. I think you should downplay your geekiness and mechanical skills, and concentrate more on the outdoor activities you enjoy. Use the self timer on a camera or have a friend take more photos of you. It can be done.

Your user name should be changed, too. "Backroads" might be construed as "backwards". It also brings attention to the fact that you may be more inaccessible to a woman closer to metropolitan areas.

Take out the first two lines in your profile.

Have fun and good luck,

SpringsDiver

Random Tip - Possible Reasons you were Added as a Favorite

1. They like your photo and profile, and think you may be a match.

2. They consider it a "wink". They may be shy or "old fashioned". The ball is in your court.

3. They are using the feature as a bookmark of profiles that interest them.

4. Your forum postings interest them in one way or another.

5. They like you and plan to write you, but may be too busy at the moment.

6. They want to share your profile with someone else.

7. They want to message you, but can't due to some contact restriction. By adding you as a favorite, they may be hoping you will message them.

8. Something in your profile intrigued them. They may simply like the humor or the layout.

9. It could also have been for any number of nefarious reasons.

10. It could be for many other good reasons.

If in doubt, and if you like what you see, send them a message! Thank them for adding you.


Disclaimer: The Random Tips truly are random. They come from a number of tips I have entered into a text program, and are inserted randomly into my messages. They are meant for anyone reading the posts, not just/necessarily the OP.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What can I do to make my profile better?
Posted: 9/11/2012 11:43:40 AM
I think your content is good. There is quite a bit of emphasis on religion/Christianity, and that could limit the responses somewhat. Coupled with the description of yourself as a "born again Christian", it could be taken that religion is the main thrust of your life. While there are many religious people, there are fewer that are this focused on one aspect of their lives. I'm certain it is important to you, and believe you should stay true to who you see yourself as being Just realize it may not be what many men are looking for. It only takes one person, and you may get lucky and find him. If religion is the overriding concern, you may have better luck at a site dedicated to Christians.

Your description of other activities and interests is good, in my opinion. You seem interesting and have some sound goals.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How To Make A Firm Yet Graceful Rejection
Posted: 9/10/2012 5:27:31 PM
I didn't read all of the replies, so forgive me if any of this is redundant. I don't think you can do anything better than what you have been. Unfortunately, there are men, boys, and women posing as men on here that gain pleasure from being difficult. No matter how polite you are, they will find a reason to be obnoxious. They may feign ignorance in order to obtain this goal. There may be the rare individual who will attempt to convince you to communicate with them after an initial rejection because they truly feel the two of you might be compatible. For the most part though, those who don't take "no" for an answer are trolling for trouble, in my opinion.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
In need of a review please
Posted: 9/10/2012 8:49:29 AM
Hi Dan,

Your profile is not terrible (but not too good either), and you are not ugly, in my opinion. Some better photos might help, especially ones not taken by yourself with a camera phone. Please see the tips further down. In your lists of interests, you have three things related to racing. That will tend to draw attention only from women who love racing, and that's too limiting. If you can show that you have a wide range of interests, including those women tend to like, you will have a better chance. One last thing, make certain you spell out all words in your messages, and try to avoid terms like "reckon".

Now for some specifics:


I like all things outdoors from hiking to flea markets. Nothing like a good bonfire at the house with friends and laughing the night away. I do like to go out on the town once in awhile and love all types of music. I like the little hole in the wall places but dont mind going to the popular places around the area.


Good


As far as my hobbies, yeah there aint enough space for all of them on here. The main ones i reckon would be cooking, working with wood, racing and shooting pool. I do have another big hobby but i think its kinda dorky but im really good at it and have won a ton of awards for it. (just ask and ill tell ya what it is)


Using "aint", "reckon", "kinda", and such terms will limit interest in your profile and will cause many women to click "NEXT". Capitalize all "i's" and use the best grammar possible.


I work which from reading some of the womens profiles on here is not that common of a thing LOL. I own my own place and have my own wheels which there again is not to common i guess LMAO.


Don't worry about what others may or may not have. Putting down the competition is tacky.


Im just looking for honesty and someone who cares about life, it to damn short to fight and fuss all the time. I just want to have fun and enjoy good company, is that to much to ask?


Again, watch the grammar (I'm, it's, too) Don't be generic. Try to be outstanding. Stay positive in all respects.


ok im done for now if i have sparked your interest please shoot me a note.


Just delete this.

Later,
Dan

Happy fishing!

SpringsDiver


Fifteen Fishy Photo Tips

These may not all apply to you. They are general recommendations gathered from numerous forum postings.

(1) Your primary photo should be a close up of your head/shoulder/face. It will be seen as a thumbnail in search results and elsewhere. Don't forget to smile!
(2) Wearing sunglasses in your main photo is against the rules, and keeps us from seeing your eyes. Caps and hats generally are not a good idea either.
(3) If it is not in sharp focus, don't use it. Don't settle for mediocrity.
(4) Cell phone and Web Cam self-portraits are less likely to flatter and are overdone!
(5) Save the bare chests and cleavage for intimate moments with that special someone!
(6) If possible, take photos outdoors in a nice setting on a cloudy day (better lighting).
(7) Photos of children are best left out of the public realm due to safety concerns. They can be shared later.
(8) Consider keeping your pretty/handsome friends and family out of the photos, as viewers might be more interested in them! If you do have photos of them, do not black out faces! That's very tacky!
(9) Rotate your photos periodically, using different ones as your main photo.
(10) Some people do not like seeing all of your toys, your bathroom, beer bottles, etc.
(11) Your photos should be recent if possible, or clearly dated so as to not falsely represent yourself.
(12) Photos with your ex cropped out, with their arm remaining, are tacky. Photos with your ex are even worse! Viewers want to see you, and only you, for the most part.
(13) If you only have one photo, you may be suspected of being a fake. Add some more.
(14) Add captions to all of your photos.
(15) In addition to the primary closeup, have at least one full-length photo.

 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Wedding present for my ex step daughter?
Posted: 9/10/2012 8:21:35 AM
Grace,

Since they have made little or no effort to maintain a relationship with you, I don't think a present would be expected or even desired. It wouldn't be likely to hurt anything, so I believe you should buy a simple gift if it makes you happy. I don't believe you should feel any sort of obligation in this circumstance.

The point Import made about her not wanting you as part of her life seems valid as well. This may or may not have something to do with you personally. It may be that she feels it would be too awkward trying to maintain a relationship with her father's ex. Maybe it would be best to let her go.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Challenge: Try not to read my whole profile
Posted: 9/6/2012 11:09:42 AM
I don't think many woman are going to read the entire profile. There is too much to turn them off early on. You come off as being very obnoxious, IMO. I agree with Janet's assessment.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Can you help me with my profile?
Posted: 9/6/2012 10:01:03 AM
MUCH better.

Best of luck to you!
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Can you help me with my profile?
Posted: 9/5/2012 12:11:56 PM
Hello Melissa,

1. You need more photos.

2. Please get rid of anything that sounds negative (all of what you don't want or do).

3. Don't start as many sentences with "I".

4. use paragraphs and try to inject something that makes you seem like a fun person to be with.
I hope this helps!

SpringsDiver

Random Tip - Profile Format

Generally speaking, viewers prefer that profiles are in paragraph form, as opposed to long lists. Use three or four paragraphs. Write about yourself, your interests, and what you are looking for in a relationship/partner. Try to avoid cliches and overused expressions. Try to keep everything positive!

Disclaimer: The Random Tips truly are random. They come from a number of tips I have entered into a text program, and are inserted randomly into my messages. They are meant for anyone reading the posts, not just/necessarily the OP.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Does my profile come off as too nerdy?
Posted: 9/5/2012 11:53:42 AM
Hello,

You do need some better photos, IMO. I will post some tips below. You also need more in your "about me". try to get 3-4 paragraphs. As for being a Geek and wanting to find a Geeky woman, your profile is okay. You have not overdone it in any direction.


I'm not totally sure what I'm looking for on here.


This is a bad way to start. Women like confident men who know what they want.


I guess I'm open to all possibilities whether it's making new friends,dating, or finding that special someone.


delete all of this for the reason given above.


I think I'm a nice guy and I'm looking for a nice girl. I'm also a little shy at first but I open up pretty quickly.


"Nice guy" is the kiss of death. It's better to show by your actions what type of person you are. Being shy is usually not seen as being positive, either. Delete that.


I enjoy watching movies and I can't wait until the NFL season starts. Go Giants :) I mainly listen to 80's rock but I listen to a bit of everything besides rap.


Good


If there's anything else you want to know just ask.


Delete. They know to ask if interested.

Best of luck to you.

SpringsDiver



Random Tip - Search for Yourself

In order to see what others see when viewing your profile as a result of a search, you can search for yourself. You will have to sign off of POF, otherwise you won't be able to see your own profile.

If you are a man, in search options, select you are a woman searching for a man, and enter search criteria that would be most likely 'find' your profile.

If you are a woman, select you are a man searching for a woman.

You can also check out your competition, if so inclined.

Disclaimer: The Random Tips truly are random. They come from a number of tips I have entered into a text program, and are inserted randomly into my messages. They are meant for anyone reading the posts, not just/necessarily the OP.


Fifteen Fishy Photo Tips

These may not all apply to you. They are general recommendations gathered from numerous forum postings.

(1) Your primary photo should be a close up of your head/shoulder/face. It will be seen as a thumbnail in search results and elsewhere. Don't forget to smile!
(2) Wearing sunglasses in your main photo is against the rules, and keeps us from seeing your eyes. Caps and hats generally are not a good idea either.
(3) If it is not in sharp focus, don't use it. Don't settle for mediocrity.
(4) Cell phone and Web Cam self-portraits are less likely to flatter and are overdone!
(5) Save the bare chests and cleavage for intimate moments with that special someone!
(6) If possible, take photos outdoors in a nice setting on a cloudy day (better lighting).
(7) Photos of children are best left out of the public realm due to safety concerns. They can be shared later.
(8) Consider keeping your pretty/handsome friends and family out of the photos, as viewers might be more interested in them! If you do have photos of them, do not black out faces! That's very tacky!
(9) Rotate your photos periodically, using different ones as your main photo.
(10) Some people do not like seeing all of your toys, your bathroom, beer bottles, etc.
(11) Your photos should be recent if possible, or clearly dated so as to not falsely represent yourself.
(12) Photos with your ex cropped out, with their arm remaining, are tacky. Photos with your ex are even worse! Viewers want to see you, and only you, for the most part.
(13) If you only have one photo, you may be suspected of being a fake. Add some more.
(14) Add captions to all of your photos.
(15) In addition to the primary closeup, have at least one full-length photo.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I'm a quiet girl, why can't men initiate
Posted: 9/4/2012 12:40:21 PM
I can relate to what you are saying. I tend to be a listener more than a talker. IF something interesting is being discussed, I am more likely to offer my opinion or observations. Unlike some people who seem to want to be the center of attention, and rarely stop talking, I am content to listen, think, and speak if the urge arises.

I do enjoy being around intellectual women who are very conversant. I don't care about hearing a lot of "small talk". I also don't want to be around a woman who never shuts up or pauses to take a breath. There has to be a balance, and I think that is what is missing in your situation. As others have mentioned, it is not pleasant to have to carry a conversation without input from others. If they are not discussing something that interests you enough to contribute, there may be a problem with the type of men you are choosing.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Coast to Coast Walk - England
Posted: 9/2/2012 12:20:02 PM
That's a great accomplishment, LilliMarleen! It says a lot when two people are able to accomplish what you and your man did, and do so without being at each other's throats.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Am I Missing Somthing?
Posted: 8/18/2012 11:10:10 AM
Eileen,

I'm a person who pays close attention to what someone says in their profile and in their posts. From reading yours, I sense that you are an exceptional woman. As such a woman, you most likely adhere to a stringent vetting process where men are concerned. In other words I think you set high standards, as well you should. Men who meet these standards most likely have garnered the interest of other women, and may thus be very selective themselves. I don't doubt that they would have a wonderful time dating you. My theory however, is that they may have dated another woman they felt even more comfortable and compatible with.

I don't buy that they would not show interest in other dates because you were not affectionate enough, though it's a possibility. We can only guess at their reasons. As mentioned, it is possible they did not think the dates were as nice as you did. The activities you describe sound like a lot of fun to me. I don't think you should worry too much about it, as I am certain there will be other men who are interested in you and the right one may come along soon.

SpringsDiver
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Do guys always want a response?
Posted: 8/16/2012 8:32:41 PM
No reply is fine for me. I have received initial contact messages FROM women asking me to please at least respond with a "no, thanks". In such a case I will respond in a polite as manner as I can if I am not interested.

Edit to add: ^^^^ The response from LiterateHiker would be a good one, in my opinion.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
One year later..
Posted: 8/12/2012 7:10:51 PM
SammyLeigh,

What I am going to say is not to hurt you, because you are obviously hurting enough and I have a strong tendency to try to help when possible. I don't know you of course, so this is just a "feeling". In reading your profile and your post, I get a feeling that you have self-esteem issues. I think you should learn to value yourself more, and that in turn will allow you to value the qualities of a good man and reject men without those qualities. Do whatever you have to in order to like yourself. Then, you will be better prepared for a quality relationship and will be less inclined to hang on to one that is not worth hanging on to.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
FAVORITE
Posted: 8/12/2012 6:46:15 PM
I have not read all of the replies to your post, so there may be some overlap. Here are some possible reasons.

1. They like your photo and profile, and think you may be a match.

2. They consider it a "wink". They may be shy or "old fashioned". The ball is in your court.

3. They are using the feature as a bookmark of profiles that interest them.

4. Your forum postings interest them in one way or another.

5. They like you and plan to write you, but may be too busy at the moment.

6. They want to share your profile with someone else.

7. They want to message you, but can't due to some contact restriction. By adding you as a favorite, they may be hoping you will message them.

8. Something in your profile intrigued them. They may simply like the humor or the layout.

9. It could also have been for any number of nefarious reasons.

10. It could be for many other good reasons.

If in doubt, and if you like what you see, send them a message! Thank them for adding you.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Can I attrack the right guy with my profile
Posted: 8/12/2012 6:42:30 PM
Hi Miya,

Even though Electric has some good points, I like what you have. It's short and sweet. Add some more interests. Change "their in Trinidad" to "they're in Trinidad". It wouldn't hurt to make it a bit longer.

Springsdiver
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Would girls be cool with a foot fetish?
Posted: 8/6/2012 8:58:26 AM

Import - I think the shoes were supposed to be located over your shoulders !


Over his shoulders works well. ;-)

OP - I think it comes down to the extent of your fetish. In my opinion, most women don't like extremes of any type.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
What's your favorite type of meal to eat?
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:09:11 PM
^^^^^ MsMicki,

There is a restaurant in Boone, NC called the Boone Inn that does the same thing. They keep bringing re-fills, too. The Amish family meal sounds awesome.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
In need of a profile review
Posted: 8/1/2012 12:25:48 PM
Marie,

You're a pretty woman, but your photos are not doing you justice. The main photo and the "fishface" photo, especially. Your about me is too short, IMO.

Edit: ^^^ What he said.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Skin Deep Beautie
Posted: 7/31/2012 10:29:54 AM
LilliMarleen - Reading and writing are essential skills in online dating, and you don't seem to possess, either.

Start there.


+1

I'm guessing this is the overriding reason you may not get responses, OP. Your grammar as evident from your post is atrocious. It shows either a lack of education or a lack of serious intent.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
What's your favorite type of meal to eat?
Posted: 7/31/2012 9:45:01 AM
A meal cooked on the grill. BBQ chicken, grilled steak, or even hamburgers and hotdogs if out swimming in the springs. Corn on the cob, cole slaw, macaroni or potato salad. I love a turkey, on Thanksgiving or any other time. The leftovers are great, too. I'm happy with simple sides such as mashed potatoes (need I specify home-made) and whole-kernel corn.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Views-> No messages??? Help with a review please
Posted: 7/30/2012 7:47:37 PM
SocaWarrior,

You have done a good job with it for the most part. I've got a few suggestions.


If you can't read at least part of this, you're not the right person for me anyway. If you stop at the fact that I'm black, you're definitely not the right person for me. However, if you have an open mind and are willing to try new things, we will get along great! What's the worst that could happen?


This paragraph sets a negative tone, in my opinion. Keep it positive!


In case you are wondering,


Delete. This sounds a little condescending.


I really wish others were more open as well. Don't judge based on skin colour as to not miss out! ;)


Try to rephrase this so it's all positive OR delete it. people don't like to feel they are being preached at.


I have a passion for travelling, hoping to run with the bulls in Spain shortly! I've done Atlantic Canada, a few US spots and most of the Caribbean; next step is Vegas and Europe after! I have a good sense of humour and try and show it often. :) I speak English, French and a very small amount of Spanish (currently trying to get better).


Very good.


The next thing I should mention is while I'm young in age; I'm very settled in life. I have my career and I know what I want for the future. I'm looking for someone who also knows what she wants. Also, she has to be understanding and independent.


Good


I'm giving this site a serious shot to see who it can bring into my life! I will leave it at that for now. Message me if you're into good conversation and up to meeting one of the good guys. :)


Delete this.

Try to come up with a specific date idea.

Best of luck to you.

SpringsDiver

Random Tip - The First Date

The "First Date" ideas are a very important and often not given due diligence. Being creative and showing that you have put a great amount of thought into first date ideas, might be just what is needed to persuade someone to send you a message, or reply to a message you send. Writing that "We can decide that later", while quite possibly true, does not show the level of thought and enthusiasm that is often appreciated the most. Neither does saying that "we can meet for coffee".

When writing about ideas you have for a first date, be very descriptive so that the viewer may visualize being there with you, talking and laughing. Write it in such a way the viewer can just about smell the food cooking or hear the waves lapping at the shoreline. Write it so they may feel the excitement of new possibilities.

Disclaimer: The Random Tips truly are random. They come from a number of tips I have entered into a text program, and are inserted randomly into my messages. They are meant for anyone reading the posts, not just/necessarily the OP.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
May I have a profile review? Thank you.
Posted: 7/30/2012 7:09:49 PM
Hi,

I suggest some better photos and a rewrite of your profile that will show a little more of your personality. As it is, your profile does a good job of portraying what you want in life, but in my opinion it doesn't help much when it comes to portraying your personality.


My goals in life is to become a physician and I like studying about the human body and sciences (at my own pace). Eventually I'd like to get on the business side of the health industry. I was pursuing a career in the Army until I decided to return to school to pursue a career in medicine.


It's great that you are ambitious, but I don't think your goals should be the first thing someone reads. It's important to consider that the first two or three sentences in your profile will show in search results. They should be upbeat and exciting. Along with your primary photograph, this may be your only chance to catch the viewer's interest.


I'm unique in that I'm well travelled and versed in different regions of the world. My taste in music range from trance, instrumentals, reggae, rock, world, Hawaiian, 90's hiphop. For those that like musical instruments, I'm planning to buy another ukulele soon so I can start playing again.


travelled=traveled
hiphop = hip hop or hip-hop

Mention a place you have travelerd that is exciting or interesting.


I'm a bit of a nerd and a jock but don't really fit in either category. My jock part is valuing fitness and I work out nearly every day, but I refer individual sports like MMA and ocean sports. I prefer watching UFC over team sports, but I have a few teams that I like such as the Lakers, Sharks and Steelers. However, I am a bit of a geek where I do enjoy intellectual activities such as computers, science and history.


I don't think you should indicate nerdy behavior at all at this point. Don't discuss what you are not. Simply state what you enjoy and leave it at that.


I grew up mostly in the Pacific Islands and well travelled. I am fluent in Japanese and speak bits and pieces of various languages to get by. My last overseas trip was doing a volunteer trip to Honduras at a rural medical clinic and I'll be doing another one in Lima, Peru in the winter.


travelled=traveled

This is a good paragrph.


Someone I am looking for: I am looking for an interesting, intelligent, affectionate person. A good conversationalist is always a plus.


Rephrase this. Delete "Someone I am looking for:" Some people do not like reading that you are looking for someone intelligent because it is subjective.

Best of luck to you. I hope this helps.

SpringsDiver

Random Tip - Possible Reasons you were Added as a Favorite

1. They like your photo and profile, and think you may be a match.

2. They consider it a "wink". They may be shy or "old fashioned". The ball is in your court.

3. They are using the feature as a bookmark of profiles that interest them.

4. Your forum postings interest them in one way or another.

5. They like you and plan to write you, but may be too busy at the moment.

6. They want to share your profile with someone else.

7. They want to message you, but can't due to some contact restriction. By adding you as a favorite, they may be hoping you will message them.

8. Something in your profile intrigued them. They may simply like the humor or the layout.

9. It could also have been for any number of nefarious reasons.

10. It could be for many other good reasons.

If in doubt, and if you like what you see, send them a message! Thank them for adding you.


Disclaimer: The Random Tips truly are random. They come from a number of tips I
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Women : Hard to figure out :-(
Posted: 7/28/2012 10:24:20 AM
Women are looking for a balance of many different qualities. They may be looking for someone who has achieved some measure of success in life. That has to be balanced with a thoughtful and caring manner, and time to spend with each other. They are looking for a man who takes good care of himself and has high self-esteem, yet it has to be balanced with a sense of humility. They want a man who can be sensual and passionate, but yet at the same time value them for so much more. They want a man who has his own interests and desires, but is also able to share in their interests and understand her desires.

I agree with the poster above regarding your profile. Take out your last name ASAP. better photos could do wonders (or not). Keep trying, but realize the odds of success on a dating site are slim.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Help! I've fallen for an Italian man!
Posted: 7/28/2012 9:21:16 AM
Jumping without a safety net below is more than most people will be able to do. It's a lot to ask of someone to believe in you enough to take a chance, and I think it's especially difficult for someone to do so when you have not actually met. If I am reading your post correctly, you have communicated a great deal, but have yet to be together in person. Being the romantic person I consider myself, I like to think it is possible to know a great deal about a person based on letters and phone conversations. I too find myself feeling what seems to be love, yet deep down I realize it takes much more for true love to develop. I don't think it is possible to know someone well enough before meeting and spending much time together for these feelings to be love, as genuine as they may be.

It may be beneficial with you to accept his feelings as genuine, yet realize they are based on what the two of you have experienced together at this point. Realize that these feelings may be completely different when you are actually together, but at the same time don't rule out the possibility that true love will prevail. I don't see a benefit to you telling him his feelings of love are not real, or something of that nature, if you are doing so.

My advice is to try to keep your own feelings in check while at the same time not entirely discounting the possibility that all will progress as you would like it to. Cynicism is not likely to serve you well, in my opinion. If you feel there are going to be many more chances for you to find what you desire in a relationship, and you think it might be better to let him go, than do so. If however, you feel this is a man unlike any other you have known, a man likely to be unimaginably compatible with you, don't let him go. Believe that love has no boundaries and it likely won't. Believe that it does have boundaries, and accept that you may never find it.

I hope I understand the situation you are in correctly, and wish the best for the two of you.

SpringsDiver
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Revealing your relationship goals in dating!
Posted: 7/27/2012 3:08:40 PM
Stary Cat - Cus going by the profiles in POF....
Answer A is a woman.
Answer B is a man.


I would be more inclined to say both were women, or more likely the same woman.

LOL!
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Suspect in Florida butt-enhancement death now charged with manslaughter
Posted: 7/27/2012 2:18:19 PM

U make it -How can people be so stupid????


This article gives additional insight. Jeeez!!

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/crime/fl-toxic-tush-manslaughter-20120726,0,2437647.story

Nothing I read that occurs in the Miami/Dade area is likely to surprise me too much.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Going back to his/her place
Posted: 7/27/2012 1:19:54 PM
It depends on the context in which the invitation is offered, as well as factors the others have mentioned. In "middle" age especially, I don't think such an invitation should automatically be construed as an invitation for a sexual experience. However, it seems there are many illogical people in the world. I think it best to go into such a situation expecting only what has been discussed, be it dinner, watching a movie, helping with a project, or whatever. If something naturally develops, so be it.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Suspect in Florida butt-enhancement death now charged with manslaughter
Posted: 7/27/2012 10:10:41 AM
F.S. 782.07 (Florida Statute) - "The killing of a human being by the act, procurement, or culpable negligence of another, without lawful justification according to the provisions of chapter 776 and in cases in which such killing shall not be excusable homicide or murder, according to the provisions of this chapter, is manslaughter, "

Source: http://www.flsenate.gov/laws/statutes/2011/782.07

The woman mentioned in the OP, Shatarka Nuby, died. I believe this is why there is a charge of manslaughter. The other victims did not die. The charge is appropriate, IMO. The ignorance of a victim (extreme in this case), does not excuse the alleged behavior of the person charged.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Revealing your relationship goals in dating!
Posted: 7/27/2012 8:52:28 AM
I am not likely to be interested in someone who says they do not know what they want in a relationship. I feel it best that a person has a good idea of what he/she wants, yet at the same time incorporate a degree of flexibility within their desires. An inflexible person is not likely to be an enjoyable partner, in my opinion.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Making my profile say Wow.
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:35:23 PM

OP - Somewhere out there is a great guy who will not only want to introduce me to new things, but will also like to try some adventures that are new to both of us. He will not only put up with my wacky moods, but he may even think they are cute, (even if he won't admit it.) The man I would like to meet is confident and self assured, but isn't**** with an over-inflated ego. I am looking for a guy who can keep me on my toes both when it comes to intellect and energy. There is nothing that I won't do to support the people I care about, but if I think you are wrong I will tell you and I hope that you would do the same for me. Are you a man who is filled with surprises? When you hold me in your arms, are you the type of man that will make me feel safe and warm? Have you made it all the way to the end of my profile? Then what are you waiting for? Drop me a line and let's plan our next adventure.


That is so much better! It's hard to believe it was written by the same person.

OH, wait.... IT WASN'"T

A quick Google search showed as much.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Tattoo on the vajayjay...
Posted: 7/25/2012 2:55:21 PM
Igor Every time I'd look at it, I'd picture the tattoo artist crouched over her with a buzzing skin puncturing machine. I'd expect to see "Clyde the Ink Guy was Here," written along side it. Not really romantic or erotic for me.


LMAO!

I'm with Igor. If a woman had such a tattoo before we were together, I don't think I would care for it but I also would not likely dump her because of it. I would always discourage a SO from having a procedure done that would potentially have adverse health consequences. It would of course be her decision, but I would not be too happy if she decided to have this procedure done, especially if a man were to do it.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Making my profile say Wow.
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:05:49 AM
Hello Shyanna,

I can see a slight possibility of your profile appealing to a "country" boy in Oklahoma. There is nothing wrong with you being a "country" girl if that is how you see yourself. However, by portraying yourself in that light in your profile, you are limiting the number of men who might reply to those who find the country lifestyle lifestyle interesting. They are certainly around, but as I said you are automatically limiting the possibilities.


Howdy, My name is Shyanna.


You just lost many men with the "Howdy".


I plan to use that degree to open my own Half Way House for people that are just getting out of prison.


This can be discussed with someone you are in a relationship with, but is not likely attract men.


Right Now, I have a job at Wal Mart working with Customer Service.


You are being too specific. It could become a safety issue.


Right Now, I don' have a car because the bus system is cheaper on me to get to and from work . I am a bigger women and Please don't ask me to change how I look because that just a big turn off. I want someone that will love me for me .


Delete all of this. Concentrate on positive aspects of your life and what you want life to hold. If you keep any of it, say simply that you "use public transportation".


Yes, I am country and I love country music . My favorite artist are Dolly Parton, Johnny Cash, Patty Loveless and this is just to name a few.


I am not familiar with your area, but I hope there are a lot of people who identify with "country", because that seems to be all you are offering.


Hope to hear from you soon.


Some people see statements such as this as being a sign of lack of confidence.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

SpringsDiver
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Just want to know how others feel about my profile
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:52:18 AM
Fifteen Fishy Photo Tips

These may not all apply to you. They are general recommendations gathered from numerous forum postings.

(1) Your primary photo should be a close up of your head/shoulder/face. It will be seen as a thumbnail in search results and elsewhere. Don't forget to smile!
(2) Wearing sunglasses in your main photo is against the rules, and keeps us from seeing your eyes. Caps and hats generally are not a good idea either.
(3) If it is not in sharp focus, don't use it. Don't settle for mediocrity.
(4) Cell phone and Web Cam self-portraits are less likely to flatter and are overdone!
(5) Save the bare chests and cleavage for intimate moments with that special someone!
(6) If possible, take photos outdoors in a nice setting on a cloudy day (better lighting).
(7) Photos of children are best left out of the public realm due to safety concerns. They can be shared later.
(8) Consider keeping your pretty/handsome friends and family out of the photos, as viewers might be more interested in them! If you do have photos of them, do not black out faces! That's very tacky!
(9) Rotate your photos periodically, using different ones as your main photo.
(10) Some people do not like seeing all of your toys, your bathroom, beer bottles, etc.
(11) Your photos should be recent if possible, or clearly dated so as to not falsely represent yourself.
(12) Photos with your ex cropped out, with their arm remaining, are tacky. Photos with your ex are even worse! Viewers want to see you, and only you, for the most part.
(13) If you only have one photo, you may be suspected of being a fake. Add some more.
(14) Add captions to all of your photos.
(15) In addition to the primary closeup, have at least one full-length photo.

 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do I sound like a bi T ch?
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:38:16 AM
Hi cmie,

I agree that the profile seems to portray a lack of warmth.


So don't try. Do it like never before.


This, I like.


Women and men give it a try without putting any efforts into it.
We judge each other too soon looking at people like they are pieces of meat with benefits. When you do so, you become a piece of meat yourself and will be treated accordingly.


This, I don't. It sets a tone of negativity.


About me:
I wanted to be taller than I am.
I have leveled mind and analytical thinking.
My brother fought for me with 5 jerks.
I don't own jeans.
I wear dresses and skirts deliberately, I am a woman.
I speak what I think.
I like my place to be clean.
I drive standard.
Sometimes I drive others crazy.
I cook at home mostly.
I like to cuddle.
I prefer cats to dogs.
I can read eyes easily.
I will ask you hard questions.
I can spot a man among boys. Boys are not men.


I'm not fond of lists such as this. I find it is much easier to get a feel for a woman's personality if she writes in paragraph form. There is much in the list that leaves me thinking "So?!!" What is the relevance?

Dresses and skirts can be very provacative, sensual, and at times even practical. I would have to wonder about a woman who does not ever wear jeans, though. I would wonder if she somehow thinks a woman is less of a woman when she wears clothing that is extremely practical, and also can be very provacative and sensual.

Good luck.


Best of luck to you.

SpringsDiver



Random Tip - Mutual Interests

Interests listed in the appropriate section as one or two words can help to make a connection. If someone searches POF profiles, and in the search criteria adds "Scuba diving", and you have that listed as one of your interests, they may come upon your profile. If you have "I love to Scuba dive" listed, your profile won't be found by the same search. Keep the listed interests as one or two words.

Disclaimer: The Random Tips truly are random. They come from a number of tips I have entered into a text program, and are inserted randomly into my messages. They are meant for anyone reading the posts, not just/necessarily the OP.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Any Photographers Out There?
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:46:41 AM
There is a site called Photocamel (.com) that I recommend. It has different forums for different types of photography/subject matter. After registering for free, you can upload your photos and members will offer constructive criticism. You may want to add a watermark to any photos you believe are especially good before uploading them.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Dirty messages
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:20:25 AM

OP -Ok so i found a girl that seemed nice on her profile


As alluded to above, you found a person portraying themself as a woman. This does not seem like something a woman looking for a LTR is going to ask right away, if at all. You have a web business, so I would expect you to be aware of the deception that is common on the Internet. I'm with the camp that does not believe this is a legitimate contact.


Landra - Um... sure.
Assuming she really is a girl.


Not likely. Good advice from Landra. I would not waste my time talking to her, as a poster has proposed.


SSS -Nice girls/girls with good morals and values don't send messages like that. And it's not flirty. It's offensive that she would ask that.


This, too.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Posted: 7/14/2012 9:05:21 AM
Hi Melissa,

You write well. What you have is fine for the most part, but some more would be better.


I would love to travel to Greece, Europe, Ireland, and Moscow! Are you up for the challenge?


To me, this seems too much like "Do you have the money to spoil me with expensive trips?". I'm not saying that is your intent, but to me it doesn't look too good.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Am I misreading his behavior?
Posted: 7/13/2012 12:28:36 PM
OP - I felt I owed him an apology because I told him two months ago that he could expect a call from me and I never called.


I agree with that.


OP - Are you suggesting that it's not possible for a man (not this man specifically) to be shy, awkward, not good at conversation, and be sincerely interested in a relationship?


No, not at all. The fact that he seems to have shown little interest in you when exchanging email and texts is what made me consider sex to be his main intent.


OP - While I realize men pursue sex, I'd hate to trivialize them to the point where any and all of their actions must be about sex and acquiring sex.


That's refreshing.


OP -I guess I have always assumed that when *anyone* is interested in someone, you want to know more about them. You engage in conversations. You look forward to learning more about them. You look forward to talking to them.


I strongly agree.
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Am I misreading his behavior?
Posted: 7/13/2012 11:46:42 AM
1. He shows little interest.

2. He wants to date you AFTER the other woman did not work out.

3. The conversation is not good.

It makes me wonder why you are/were interested in him.


Why keep my number so long?
Why text me and hassle me about not calling him?
Why say you can't wait 7 days to meet me?
Why make it a point to ask me 2 or 3 times at lunch if we were still on for Saturday's date?
Why do all of that when everything else about his behavior suggests he's just not that interested?


Sex, sex, sex, sex, and sex.

He's hoping for it.


>OP -what leads a guy to actively pursue dates themselves but not actually pursue the on a personal level.


SEX (LOL!)
 springsdiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Can modern photography really be considered art?
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:51:32 AM
It doesn't matter what tool or tools someone uses to create a photograph. What matters is how the tool is used. Absolutely photography is art. There are many different elements of art, many of which are part of a photograph. Just as a painter or sculptor may decide on the medium to use and develop their skills to utilize elements in different ways, photographers have many different types of media and techniques at their disposal. What is chosen and how it is used can determine to what degree people think of it as art.

The advent of digital photography has certainly made it easier to take a multitude of pictures with little consideration for all of the artistic elements. It has also made it possible for a photographer to control artistic elements in ways that were at one time more difficult to control. For example: At one time in the not too distant past, photographers had to switch to a different type of film if they wanted a film with more or less sensitivity to light, or if they wanted a film that rendered colors in certain ways. With digital photography, those choices can be made by turning a dial on the camera or choosing a menu option. This relative ease of changing different components allows for more creativity and more artistic expression. It also requires significant thought.

If there are one hundred photographers photographing one subject , you can be assured the resulting photographs will vary greatly. There is unlikely to be two that are the same. This is due to artistic expression (as well as different skill levels). As with other forms of art, different people will have varying opinions about the artistic merit of the photographs, but they are all art. Many of the works now considered to be great art were dismissed at the time they were created, and that could well be the case with any photograph.

In addition to the production of a photograph, there is the post-production. For example, a photograph may be changed digitally by using programs such as Photoshop. There has been many debates about the merit of photographs altered, but it certainly is another avenue for artistic expression. Just as painters have painted in different ways (abstract,impressionistic, cubism, etc), photographs can be digitally altered in a myriad of different ways and for different purposes. It's another tool for those people with good imaginations.
 
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