Patio get together June 7TH chat & forums.

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heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Patio get together June 7TH Posted: 5/17/2009 8:39:01 PM
Yay- finally a POF party that is close to me! Thanks for organizing this, Susanne- Blue Canyon rocks- I've been there once & loved it. I hope there will be more like this on the east side. Gas is climbing again, ya know!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 114 (view)

WHAT IS THIS SPARK PEOPLE ARE SEARCHING FOR? Posted: 3/15/2009 8:26:23 PM
I recently heard about the "spark "when I guy with whom I had exchanged 2 e-mails and one short phone conversation said he didn't feel a "spark" & was going to move on for that reason. We had never met! People expect wayyyyy too much from online dating! I told this dude that unless something had totally turned me off , I was willing to at least meet the person & didn't expect sparks to fly even at the first meeting! It takes a good while to really get to know someone. Online dating has ushered in the era of "instant soulmate"- it just doesn't happen that way 99% of the time! Since I've been divorced, the one time I really felt sparks with a guy right away, it was a total illusion! He turned out to be an alcoholic and a womanizer, but he sure knew how to make those sparks fly with lots of compliments and charm!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

Women question a man over 50 and not been married? Posted: 3/1/2009 3:05:17 PM
[However, once you close the mind, you stop learning. And you'll never change your opinion, because you'll never allow yourself to experience someone that doesn't fit your opinion. That's old-people thinking. It's not attractive.] Whoa there, Tom. I have not "closed my mind" nor have I "stopped learning" . You're being oh, just a tad extreme and judgmental here- and defensive, I might add. I'm entitled to my point of view & my likes and dislikes just like you or anyone else. And thank you for the compliment about "old people thinking". Said just because I'm not interested in never-married guys in their 50s , the group you are a part of. No discernible basis in reality, my friend...again, just extreme & judgmental.

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Looking for some opinons..tnx Posted: 3/1/2009 2:40:07 PM
Hi...MUCH BETTER!!! The humor is a nice touch -women love that!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Review my profile Posted: 2/28/2009 9:18:53 PM
Hi, My impression of your profile is that you are coming across as over-eager. It's a bit wordy and needs some proof-reading for grammar & spelling and I noticed a word left out near the end. Also the correct spelling is "then" not "than" in the sentence that ends "than great!" I don't like the photo you posted (sorry). Your mouth is open and you're not looking into the camera. I would post another pic with these problems eliminated and also 2 to 3 more pics. The more pics, the more responses ! I would take out the part about your son being your main priority because men will read that as they will be second banana. Also you have a couple of sexual references..that might not bring the kinds of responses you are looking for. Or maybe you are looking for those kind of responses-?!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Looking for some opinons..tnx Posted: 2/28/2009 9:05:22 PM
Hi, You are a nice-looking guy, but you need to add a little pizzazz to your profile to pique the ladies' interest. It's kinda bland & generic, eg: your interests listed are "sports..family..games..." Instead of sports, you could say golf & hockey , as you did in the body of the profile. Add a few more very specific interests to the list, too. Add at least 1 to 2 more pics. Add a little humor. Add what you are looking for in a woman- tres important! Nothing about that in there at all. Good luck!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Anybody's opinion Posted: 2/28/2009 8:48:32 PM
Hi there...OK , first of all, you have 2 sets of 2 pics that look basically the same- you need to delete one of each set to get rid of the repetitiveness. Also, definitely one of those to be deleted should be the one with you sticking your tongue out- that looks childish & will turn women off. You need to run spell check. Take out the words "I'm not too picky". That makes you sound desperate. Good luck!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

could someone review my profile please Posted: 2/28/2009 8:41:35 PM
I agree with the other 2 posters that you look too serious, even sad in your main pic. Also, the pic with you in the T-shirt saying "I don't get paid enough to be nice" seals the gloomy initial impression. Wash and comb the hair, put on a nice light blue shirt (no mottos on it!) to bring out you eyes and SMILE ! ! !

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Women question a man over 50 and not been married? Posted: 2/28/2009 8:05:29 PM
Both the never-marrieds and multiple-married send up the red flags for me. I have to admit...I will not date someone who has never been married by his 50s. The few people I know like this, male or female, had major issues. One I'm thinking of is a crashing bore and one has significant mental health problems. Married 3x or more says difficult to get along with to me, which may or may not be the case..just my opinion..

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 119 (view)

Herpes Posted: 2/21/2009 7:58:47 AM
m church, you wrote: "It's not a death sentance though Oddly enough, it can be.... it's rare, but it can actually be fatal.... http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/341142-overview Herpes encephalitis is the most common cause of sporadic viral encephalitis, with a predilection for the temporal lobes and a range of clinical presentations, from aseptic meningitis and fever to a severe rapidly progressive form involving altered consciousness. In adults, herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) accounts for 95% of all fatal cases of sporadic encephalitis and usually results from reactivation of the latent virus. The clinical findings and neuroimaging appearance are both consistent with spread of the virus from a previously infected ganglion..etc" Had to jump in to this discussion right here...., as someone previously posted, HSV ONE (the cold sore on the mouth kind) is the one associated with encephalitis, not HSV TWO (the genital kind). It even says HSV1 right here in your own post. So...your point is well taken, but not about HSV2, which you erroneously think you are addressing!

HeartbeatinginCleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 46 (view)

Has anyone tried It's Just Lunch? Posted: 5/19/2008 8:59:07 PM
I tried a similar service- don't want to say the name in case I signed something, but it did have the word "lunch" in its name. The owner was all charm & bubbles when he signed me up, but after paying (through the nose), he and his staff became either indifferent or rude every time we spoke after that. I was matched with mostly homely or overweight men. We had nothing in common other than age. One that I did find attractive proceeded to have 7 glasses of wine & then confide to me that he smokes pot with his daughter!!! The only other attractive one shmoozed me into thinking he was ga-ga over me, then abruptly said goodbye at the end of dinner w/no request for another date. A true passive-aggressive type. At $100 a date, this experience has taught me to say "pass" on these rip-off services. I can find the same kind of disappointment for free.

HeartbeatinginCleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Dating childless women & men..... Posted: 7/8/2007 6:56:26 PM
This is a different take on this issue- I prefer to date men who have had children, whether still at home or not. The men I have dated who have never had kids just don't "get" the parent-child relationship the way that someone who has had kids does. Plus, guys w/kids seem to be more interested in your kids & it gives you another thing in common.

HeartbeatinginCleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Divorcees and Social Invitations Posted: 7/3/2007 8:18:53 PM
I've noticed that since I've been divorced (years now), I don't get invited to parties, holiday gatherings, etc, nearly as much as I used to when I was married & we were invited as a couple. It's almost as if we are shunned just because we're single! Do the wives feel threatened by inviting a divorced woman? Do they feel that marrieds & singles don't mix? To make matters worse, none of the singles that I know ever give parties themselves! Most single women probably can't afford it. As a result, I often find myself alone on holidays or left out of parties given by my friends & neighbors that are married. Do other divorcees/widow(ers) have the same experience? And what can we do about it??

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

My children have become jackals Posted: 5/22/2007 3:46:39 PM
I have 16 and 20 yr old daughters still at home. Surprisingly, the 20 yr old is MUCH WORSE with disrespecting the house 's safety & cleanliness. She leaves the back door unlocked when she comes home in the wee hours- lucky we aren't all dead by now, murdered by intruders. She leaves shoes, mail, dishes, trash, etc. everywhere but where they should be. I just tried a new trick: shaming her. I put a note on each out-of-place item saying "Amy left this here". I put a note on the stairs saying " Amy: Lock the back door before you come up". It seems to be working...although I did find shoes in the living room this morning..... :(

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Ladies please help with profile reviews Posted: 5/22/2007 2:56:41 PM
Hi, Where do I start? Pics, I guess. The first one & last one are too far away & therefore, meaningless (the last one is like a speck in the distance). The closeup has you looking away from the camera & no smile. Try another close-up w/smile & look into the camera, daggone it! Also a full-length one, but closer up. And 1 or 2 more. Too many cliches..."treat a lady like a lady, girl of my dreams, baggage". Lose the cliches & think up some original things to say. I know you can do it! Too many "Must nots" at the bottom- makes you sound picky. Lose at least half of them. Also saw some spelling errors- do you have spell check? Happy hunting!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Welcoming advice on my profile... Posted: 5/21/2007 6:13:30 AM
It looks like there's a common thread- I'm not offering enough info about myself- or pics. I guess I'm a private person & kind of shy, too. So I don't like revealing too much at first.. but I'll try to add more!!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 107 (view)

I'll review and be honest Posted: 5/20/2007 7:36:01 PM
Hi- would you look at my profile & give me some constructive criticism? Not only do I not get many profile responses, I can't even get but one response for my profile review request !! (See "welcome your comments.." posted below. Thanks!!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

I would like a womans opinion Posted: 5/20/2007 4:02:02 PM
Hi Pete, It's a good profile, but my eyes sort of glazed over when I scrolled ahead & looked at the length of it. I would try to condense it because I think a lot of women would stop reading after the first paragraph or so & click off. Also, your facial expression is the same in the first 3 of your pics- I would take 2 of them out. And lose the ones showing scenery- it seems kind of aimless & not pertinent . Good luck!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Welcoming advice on my profile... Posted: 5/20/2007 3:29:21 PM
I've been on POF many months & get very few responses, but don't know why. One thought I had is that guys may think I have an old photo on the profile. I'm told I look younger than I am, but the pic was only taken 6 mos ago. I have a girlfriend on here that gets many responses, even with her glasses on! Another thought: she lists herself as "slim" which may be the key, since I can only say "average". I'd appreciate any advice you can give me!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

The Meet - Turn offs and deal breakers Posted: 3/24/2007 8:33:51 PM
Here's my turn-offs based on real experiences: 1. The guy says he is "athletic" or "fit" and he shows up looking like he's 6 months along. (Yet he expects you to be built like Barbie). 2. Blabs about himself the whole time and you're supposed to sit there enraptured by his endless "me-me-me " monologue. Oh, and he never asks you one question about yourself! 3. Putting his knee against yours under the table after just meeting you 10 minutes ago and then asking "What's wrong?" when you discreetly move your leg away. 4. When you part ways & he doesn't say anything one way or the other about seeing you again - if it's a no go, just say so & don't leave me wondering what's going on in your head!!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 177 (view)

Long hair on older women Posted: 2/15/2007 6:45:53 PM
OK, this thread stopped awhile ago, but I couldn't resist adding my 2 cents. I am an older woman (55) with long hair & have never liked really short hair on myself or other women- I just think long hair is more feminine & flattering. I look much younger than my age-most people think I'm in my 30s(!), so I feel long hair still looks good on me. However, I do have to say that when I see the back of someone w/long silky hair & then she turns around & she is at least in her mid-sixties or older & looks it, I do a double-take! The face just doesn't go with the hair! It's like that movie "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, if anyone is old enough here to remember that one!! The camera creeps on on the back of Baby Jane w/long blonde hair & than she turns around & (Scream) she looks like a skeleton!! Yes, I think when I start really looking my age, I'll go for a medium cut.

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Why do some guys send dirty jokes by e-mail? Posted: 2/12/2007 7:25:31 PM
Thank you rjb888 for the part about "he didn't even know me well enough to think that's OK". That's the thing- I'm far from a prude & we were exchanging really nice e-mails for awhile, then BAM- he hit me with the smut! Where in my e-mails did I indicate I would enjoy a dirty joke !?? Thanks everyone...classless, tasteless, ungentlemanly, immature, red flag- yep, ya'll validated my gut feeling & I've sent him to the e-trash! Next!

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Why do some guys send dirty jokes by e-mail? Posted: 2/7/2007 8:05:02 PM
This is before they've even gotten to know you or met you! Or they mention something sexual in their profiles or e-mails right off the bat. This turns me off sooo much. Aren't there any gentlemen out there?

heartbeatingincleveland

Joined: 12/3/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Guys mentioning sex too soon Posted: 2/7/2007 7:48:04 PM
How do other women out there feel about the guys who mention sex in one way or another in thier profiles as a goal? Or start sending you dirty jokes & alluding to sex in the very first few e-mails?? I find it a total TURN-OFF!! Aren't there any gentlemen out there?

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