Are you willing to relocate for LOVE? How far would you go for LOVE? chat & forums.

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PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 152 (view)

Are you willing to relocate for LOVE? How far would you go for LOVE? Posted: 5/17/2007 11:51:36 PM
Yes, I will relocate for love. And that was one of the reasons I came to this site -- looking for love. I think I found it. And as soon as I can get jobs set and house sold, I plan to move to be with him. Met him here months ago. So we will see where this new adventure will take us.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No Posted: 3/15/2007 10:04:23 AM
The silent treatment is NEVER a method for dealing with issues. Most of us want someone that will communicate with us, and that is so key to any healthy relationship. I've had a nice pof guy tell me that he was more used to a different type of gal, and I can understand that and realize that I'll never be the ballerina of his dreams. I respect his honesty, but we both recognized that there wasn't any chemistry on that first date. Yet others think it's just fine to withdraw and disappear, even after a great time together. I prefer to know up front. And I will respect you enough to tell you the same thing. Why are we so afraid to just be honest with each other and talk? It would give us all some closure.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

telling her you care Posted: 2/26/2007 7:54:17 PM
Sounds like commitment anxiety. Whatever it was that you two had, was all that she ever really wanted. The moment you pushed further, she ran like a scared rabbit. Going deeper and bonding more -- the natural direction for a loving relationship -- doesn't seem to have been what she wanted with you. And you can't make someone love you more. It only makes them run further and farther. You'll have to let her go and give yourself some time to mend over this.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

A guy changes his attitude after the first meeting Posted: 2/4/2007 11:20:32 PM
Good for you, Sweetie! You deserve to have only the best!! And there IS someone like that out here for you in the pond.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 97 (view)

During intercourse? Posted: 1/26/2007 9:37:09 AM
And don't forget either the tennis coach or the handy-man with that counter-swerve... wait -- I gotta go measure my counters....

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

any suggestions? Posted: 1/25/2007 1:50:46 PM
Is this your "I'm meeting you for the first time in my life" date or actually another meeting with the same person? Because those are different things. If I'm going to meet you for the first time ever, I'd like it to be really casual, and I want to be able to see your face, hear your voice, and remember your words. Some places are just too busy or noisey for that, but I also don't want to be alone. I am a girl, and I want to feel safe and secure in my environment. If this is the second or third time we're meeting and our first formal date, you can always ask me for some ideas. I like being able to share in the special times with my special someone. That way we'll both have good memories, and it'll be something we both enjoy. Who knows -- my ideas may be crazier than yours, or include wine on a bearskin rug in front of the fire... You'll never know unless you ask... Some of us gals have great imaginations and can come up with memorable and inexpensive dates....

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

November 22 1963,, The Day Camalot Ended Posted: 1/17/2007 7:21:30 PM
I was home sick and watching TV. As a kid I loved watching parades, and in my book seeing the President was just as good! When the shots rang out I started crying immediately. My grandmother and neighbor tried to console me, but I knew even then that something horribly evil and final had happened. I realized it wasn't just some movie with props but real shots. I know that people aren't perfect, yet the charisma that JFK had, even reached my child's heart and soul. I felt that I had lost a friend that day and I think we were all a bit bewildered by the events. It's as if a certain door to evil was opened up that day. It seemed in a short time we saw JFK shot on TV, then Oswald, and Bobby, ML King, and later our boys at war and Kent State. Yes, we lost innocence that day.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

What would you say is the number one reason a women would reject a guy for? Posted: 1/17/2007 12:27:05 AM
It's ATTITUDE. Have you ever noticed that by the time you get to middle age that some of your 'traits' are showing on your face? If you are a bitter person, you kinda look that way? It isn't the fact that you're handsome or not handsome -- but that your features are now screaming out "I'm a negative louse who will try and tell you some glib story" -- and it's all in the lines and features of your face? champ -- i will send you the photos of my ex-husbands (of 8 years each) and you'll see that even average guys get the girls. ripponfalls - <div class="quote">and if you dare to express an opinion that runs counter to their own... good night, Irene. thanks and good night to you, too (I'm Irene and I really don't mind a counter opinion -- just ask my ex-husbands....) I grew up watching Cary Grant and Clark Gable and then saw Jeremiah Johnson (Redford) -- now I'm SO confused I don't know what my next guy should look like and who to reject... I still say, it's attitude. how you treat others, how you treat your date, your mother, the cleaning lady at work. Graciousness. gratefulness or lack of it. manners. hygiene is important too (kinda hard to sleep with a sewer rat after a while...)

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 58 (view)

Are you better when you are in a relationship? Posted: 1/15/2007 8:23:44 PM
My life is full and busy and complete ...... BUT I find that another person enriches my life. Their ideas, their exuberance, their joy to match mine. A shoulder to lean on, my shoulder should they need it... I seem to have an inner part that just naturally focuses on a mate and sharing. And when those puzzle pieces fit together, it seems like heaven on earth... So yes, I'm better when i am in a relationship.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Valentines Day Gift Idea: ROMANTIC!! Posted: 1/15/2007 4:47:32 PM
Hmm, seems we are just overflowing with posts from the gentlemen. Maybe the soaps are more of a woman-thing, eh? Is it because they don't think of soaps as romantic? Because showers are just utilitarian? So how do most guys pick their shower suds in the first place??? Thanks for the info, ladies!

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

friends with benefits.... Posted: 1/14/2007 4:05:39 PM
My friend is someone I lived with last year for about 3/4 months. We broke up, didn't talk for 2 weeks, and then he contacted me again. He regularly txts me, calls me, asks how i am, and (although at time I think it's too nosey) wants to know who i'm seeing and how it's going. On the other hand, we've gone hunting together, and when I got just too turned on out in the woods, he was willing to help me out in that capacity, too. He hasn't asked me to spend the night or give him a booty call... So I would have to say that he's a FWB. He's always been the one to bring me take-out if I'm home sick with a migraine and too sick to cook. We can't live together, but i'm not sure what i'd call our relationship besides friends.....

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 245 (view)

What triggers you to run... Posted: 1/14/2007 2:44:24 AM
[I concur with all of those, and will add one of my own... Constantly asking for more pictures] LOL - I asked the guy I met on-site for about 3 dozen photos -- wanted to see his face, his eyes, expressions, and some of family. Some folks have tons of grumpy shots & often they ARE grumps. Anyway, glad he didn't run!! triggers for me -- Anger - I refuse to fight or yell or scream or have it done to me. I run away. I think adults can talk. Abuse - I had an ex that hit and if I see signs of it in a man, I don't stay around. Substance abuse - I won't continue dating someone that drinks too much or does prescription meds, either. How triggers affect the present---- I asked one date if he wanted cream in his coffee and he said, "no, just some baileys" not realizing that my ex used to start his day that way and continue through baileys, beer and pot.... It didn't make me run, but we did have a discussion! Poor man had no clue that my heart skipped a beat at his joke.... At least he was man enough to hang around and talk about the effect of his joke (due to my past) and we could laugh about it later. And it's truly refreshing to find someone who communicates!!

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

What do you have to do to get a woman to stay ? Posted: 1/14/2007 12:59:47 AM
EB99 -- I too am a veteran. I'm a woman. Somehow, after reading all your posts, it doesn't seem you believe that a blonde woman could be capable of being a veteran of the US military at all. yet I am. I also run a full computer department. Have for years. I've worked non-stop since I was 16, and some years I worked 3 jobs. I've also been around the world. helped the poor. Worked in soup kitchens. Played guitar for the homeless. yadda yadda yadda None of the above makes me a better person. it makes me interesting, and adds to my personality -- but i have to HAVE a personality to start with. A long time ago I read that George Washington used to re-write an etiquette book in notebooks. this was a book common during his time. Why? He did it to improve his personality. Now, if the Father of our Country thought that etiquette could improve his personality -- that manners were part of what 'make the man' -- maybe I should read some of this stuff myself. I think this is part of the key of what is missing now-a-days. Self-improvememt. Not just saying "hey, I'm happy with how I am and you need to change to accommodate me" but saying, hey, maybe I have some rough edges that need to be knocked off or sanded down. Being GRACIOUS to others. Learning to be CONSIDERATE to others (at ALL times -- even the cleaning lady/man, the cook at McDonalds, etc.) Manners and politeness. Your last few posts were a bit strong and seemed to be out-of-touch with what has been going on in this thread. They certainly sounded angry and hurt. something that you need to have taken care of, and counseling is always a good start. You want a woman to stay -- just remember that a woman will stay if the atmosphere is healthy and inviting. If they keep leaving, then check the atmosphere. Is it healthy? Is it inviting to them? Do you treat them with respect? do they treat YOU with respect? consideration? Are you gracious to each other? I wish you well as you search for someone to partner in life, and I pray that you exorcise your demons.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

How to make a Poem out of e-junk mail Posted: 1/14/2007 12:33:29 AM
there's music in those long diatribes of words and images sent by strangers into our boxes.... Just need to tune the guitar to the right note and use it as the key to unlock the song....

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Is being a 'player' a personality trait or a phase? Posted: 1/8/2007 1:13:33 PM
["I saw a bunch of ticks on that player."] OH WOW, maybe that's what kept me from "doing" that player. It was the "ticks". Unfortunately for the good captain, he didn't get any. (In plain english -- we didn't sleep together, have sex, and some kisses were all he got) I did have enjoyable time sipping brandy & hearing about life in Greece (if he was actually telling the truth about that -- which I have my doubts) when he kept his hands off me. why I went with the player? It wasn't the uniform -- I had been the military. It wasn't the because I was lonely. He was interesting, had seen the world via ship. And I ? Well, I just wanted to know why he was like that. Still don't know.... I think he must have been "drawn" that way..... But he had no aversion to taking to his berth a new woman and knew that he could be choosy on the cruises.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Is being a 'player' a personality trait or a phase? Posted: 1/5/2007 12:00:09 PM
I've met lots of players, and one of the things I've noticed in these guys is that they seem to have a self-confidence you don't often see. And the compliments flow like... well, to me they flow like 10w-40 oil, but I guess syrupy is another comparison. I was on a cruise and the Capt's 2nd was hustling all the ladies. I was the "lucky" one to go to his cabin at night. I wanted to find out what made that player tick -- didnt work. He showed me photos of his family and kids back home, made outrageous promises, even inviting me back for a free cruise and a berth in his cabin. I declined and at sunrise went on my way. I never got a 2nd invite, although I DID get lots of attention from him. He was suave, learned, dashing, gorgeous in uniform... And I still don't know what makes him (or these guys) tick. Sure, I fell for them at first, but I'm not cut out for that kind of thing. Maybe they do outgrow it sometime, but I have a life to live, thank you.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 295 (view)

Why are older women not into younger guys??? Posted: 1/1/2007 3:57:11 PM
Champ it still boils down to the initial chemistry and attitudes. I'm in my 40's and dated a 30 yr old for a time. I thought he was older because of his maturity, attitude, and the way he treated me. he thought I was younger and close to his age. we were both surprised to find out how wrong we were -- by 15 years! I've gone out with men in their 20's, but most are not into LTR and unfortunately, I'm not so good at rock-climbing anymore. hiking and biking and skiing is another story.... I long-term dated a 69 y.o. local guy -- didn't realize he was that age. We rode our bikes all over, and we had some awesome times. the breakup wasn't age but the usual communication issue and problems with self-centeredness and unrealistic expectations... (I thought age meant maturity and I was wrong.... ) I've had chemistry with all sorts of ages, but I haven't had a 19 yo ask me out. Came close one summer, but close isn't the same thing... At this stage of my life I'd like a partner to share with in life, and age is totally irrelevant. Share the sunsets, share the travels, the meals, the pleasures, and hopefully halve the pain when that comes at you. And remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. May we all find our match in 2007, no matter the age.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

HULK WANT WOMAN Posted: 1/1/2007 3:06:07 AM
Golly -- I read the WhOLE thing and LIKED IT!! But i agree on the restrictions. how can i tell you that I liked it when I live more than 75 miles from you. Even in the not-so-distant-past when i lived in Pensacola i couldn't have warned you that i was coming for a visit!! ease up on the restrictions and let your public write you! Never know -- your next contact could be related to the CEO of the next job..... I'd ask you to re-write mine, but hey, i'm not as funny as you in real life (unless I'm with my cousin and he makes everyone seem like a comic). Besides, my dog likes it and I have to live with him....

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

help me out here...please!!! how can he last?? Posted: 1/1/2007 2:11:39 AM
I hope by now you've been able to take one or two of the suggestions back to bed with you... From experience -- my first husband had the same problem. we tried for six (yes 6!) years to overcome it. We finally stopped having sex after that. And divorced after that. He never wanted to see a therapist, or a doc, and often said he was so insecure in bed because I had dated lots of guys before him but he had only dated 3 or 4 women.... And as you probably noticed, there are other areas in the relationship that get affected by this, too. Good luck in talking to him and in whatever decision you choose to make.

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Help! I cant have sex for more than 10 minutes with out getting raw and swollen! Posted: 1/1/2007 1:58:19 AM
If you haven't seen a doc yet, ask your pharmacist. Sometimes they seem to have more advice and know more products that are helpful. Your doc can screen out problems, but I like my pharmacist for getting the best advice on products. it can also be the hormonal changes during the month. See if you stay wetter at different times of your cycle. Our bodies are really complex, and even the lunar cycle can cause changes in your response. In the meantime, try some new positions. I have a couple of favorites and seem to be able to stay naturally lubed a lot longer that way without any additional help. Good luck!

PurpleCollie

Joined: 12/6/2006

Msg: 25 (view)

BootyCall With Ex? Posted: 12/14/2006 11:20:39 PM
So much depends on where the two of you are "at" in your separation/break-up. I've called a guy I used to live with and we're still friends after the breakup. He's called me from time to time, too. Neither of us gets angry if our schedules conflict. Just seems that one time or another you just need a breathing human being instead of your right hand. If you have a no-strings relationship with an ex, and they don't want to get back together with you, then a booty call is great. If either of you are still fighting feelings of attachment, etc., then run (don't walk) in another direction fast! there's no right/wrong answer here and so much depends on where your head is at (and the ex's head, too -- and I'm talking psych here, not physically!). Just listen to your gut and follow your true instincts. Good luck!

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