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 Author Thread: Has Anyone Here Found Love on POF?
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Has Anyone Here Found Love on POF?
Posted: 6/15/2013 2:53:38 PM
Not I... But, I found a few friends, though.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/8/2013 3:10:19 AM
... Just keep breathing, that's all. ;-)
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Do other guys have this fear?
Posted: 6/3/2013 1:13:59 PM
I'm not a guy, but I am shy (at times ;)). What do I do when feeling shy, but also wanting to interact with someone? I ACT like I'm not shy. Sometime's it's just gotta be done...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Head Games
Posted: 12/27/2012 7:44:49 AM

I believe some have the intention of playing games. You chat with someone a couple of times and it seems to be going well and they drop off the face of the earth. Did they meet someone better? Who knows because they don't communicate? You chat with someone and they agree to meet and you never hear from them again. Someone clicks they would like to "Meet Me". I respond with a nice e-mail and never hear from them. There seems to be a real lack of communication and honesty in the world today.

I've had all of these scenarios you claim here as women playing games... I've had em all happen with men "... dropping off the face of the earth after chatting a bit", they've "agreed to meet and I never heard from them again"... all of these things I've experience with men on this site. That's not me playing games, and I'm not sure it's even them playing games. But, I'm nearly positive "I" shall remain the game-player in your eyes.
Oh, and Paderic? Speaking of Foreigner, I'm a tad "hot-blooded" today...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Always Invisable?
Posted: 12/26/2012 4:20:10 PM

Personally I'm not very bright,so it doesn't hurt my feelings for the other person to do the thinking and the picking. I'm a dumba s s when it comes to dating. The majority of women I date are usually wingnuts,so unless all women are wingnuts, I either like those types, or I just suck at picking.

Your sense of humor makes up for anything you may lack, at least, as far as I can tell... :)
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 53 (view)
 
First Date No Connection - How Long Do You Stay?
Posted: 12/10/2012 9:23:29 PM
By far, the best answer thus far:
Holy shit. All these numbers, policies, strategies, techniques, etc. Just pick a damn place and meet. Some of you have turned something that should be so simple into pure drudgery.
It's astounding to read of so many repeated bad experiences. Getting a good idea of what someone looks like before you meet them is rather easy these days. If you've been duped countless times, you probably have yourself to blame somewhere in the equation, and need to go back to "square one".
POF celeb?? I've never heard of a more knee slapping hilarious concept in my life.
Thank you, pig o'mine.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Being shy, does it lead to anywhere?
Posted: 12/4/2012 11:31:10 AM

I dont know...I think confidence can be visible through shyness. You dont have to be outspoken to show your confidence.

I like this way of thinking about it. I say be who you are, initial shyness and all.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Why women can't say NO!!!
Posted: 11/25/2012 2:30:17 PM

... Something that I have not seen expressed here is that some women actually can't say "No". Specifically, women who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse are frequently conditioned that saying "No" to a man is not an option. These women will frequently actually say "Yes" to things that they are not comfortable with. It can lead to self-destructive decisions and relationship self-sabotage...

Valuable insight, here, on a very complicated aspect of this topic. Thanks campfires.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Why women can't say NO!!!
Posted: 11/25/2012 2:20:24 PM

But this is how some women communicate. A failure to understand that is your problem.

Thank you for using the qualifier, "some" before the word women. Some men I've known have similar communication stumbling blocks. And, sometimes we forget to listen and only hear what we want to hear or what we tell ourselves.
I can say NO!!! ... But, I prefer, "No, thank you." ;) Even more than that, I prefer clarity, illumination and discussion over vagueness, generalizations and assumptions. If someone doesn't understand what I'm saying, it's my responsibility (for lack of a better word) to help them understand. I can't expect them to, *poof* "get it" without some articulation on my part. I'm weird like that, tho.
Good advice: Don't take it personally. And, remember, being bitter is, well ... being bitter. Makes one bitter, not better.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Why women can't say NO!!!
Posted: 11/22/2012 8:50:52 AM
I'd like to say this: "NO!!!"
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 43 (view)
 
The dreaded 50
Posted: 11/18/2012 2:09:35 AM

Did someone call me?

Mountain Lion..?
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
The dreaded 50
Posted: 11/16/2012 7:15:26 PM

Well, I'm not a cougar (wrong sex entirely). I wish they would come up with some nifty name like "cougar" instead of just calling me a "dirty old man". (smile)

How does "panther" sound?
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is he interested?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:41:55 PM
I believe you may over-thinking fact that he didn't pressure you for sex. He sounds a tad respectful, maybe..?
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is he interested?
Posted: 11/14/2012 6:37:32 PM

You are definitely over-thinking this.
Also, stop with the text crap.
Texts are great for "Pick up some milk while you're in town".
Text are terrible for being a point of contact for a relationship.
He invited you over, you had a great night. He didn't take advantage and he basically said "See you later".
Let him have a few days to do his thing and then if he hasn't called you by thursday, you call him. (NO TEXTS)...

SVRJB is correct about texting relationships. This kinda stuff takes voices, at least. I'd broach the subject out by say something like, "I've got a question for you..." And, then ask him the question... "Do you wanna have dinner again? or just meet for coffee..?" Whatever... I've not pinned him as a bad, player dude yet, myself... But, then again, I don't know him. :)
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How does a woman who is disabled present herself correctly?
Posted: 11/14/2012 12:20:46 AM
May I suggest a profile review? I think more details about you in the "About You" section could help. Stay positive about your disability as best you can. Have you learned or gain anything valuable, or insightful from your experience? I'm not suggesting putting it in your profile, I'm just saying that when I expect a negative response to something, I usually get it. I know... it's easy for me to say this, not so easy for you to do, is my guess, but try for a positive spin, somehow.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 71 (view)
 
turns out he has a different name
Posted: 11/12/2012 1:46:40 AM

Am I the only person who is not tempted to look in other people's wallets, inspect their email and browser history or check cell phone texts?

No. You are not. I'm with you on not being tempted to spy...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 90 (view)
 
The sex sucked and the person you've been dating is...
Posted: 11/10/2012 11:52:18 PM

...I wonder why each one did not discuss it, ask questions, come to an agreement as to learning, experimenting, practicing, and, whenever it was not mutually compatible, specifically working together to make it better next time. It doesn't sound, to me, as if both parties had deep enough feelings for each other to CARE if each was satisfied, and, if not, what EACH could do to improve things.

I know, right? Discuss things, explore, teach, practice, rehearse, branch out... talk about it.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Friends! I Want More Than Friendship!
Posted: 11/10/2012 11:39:41 PM
He said to call. So call him, already.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 1440 (view)
 
Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 11/9/2012 10:04:14 AM
Yes, I do feel like that sometimes, but hey, I like me. I'm pretty good company. And, these two posts sum it up nicely for me (except I'm not so sure about god—I have nature, tho):

But alone is relative---I have friends, family, dogs, God. Very blessed I am!
It is much better to be alone by yourself than alone in a relationship or marriage.


Exactly. Many of us might be single forever - but almost none of us are going to be alone (unless you live somewhere that there are no living things for miles). And I'll take single any day over being in a relationship I want out of...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Lost my love of my life because of her son, or am I wrong?
Posted: 11/9/2012 12:14:49 AM

In my opinion, there's three sides to every story; His, hers and the truth.

Yes. In the words of Don Henley, "There's three sides to every story baby... there's yours, there's mine... and the cold hard truth." Hard to find it sometimes.
I think IgorFrankensteen's reply is right on the money, as well.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 621 (view)
 
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2012 6:23:20 AM

Most women can get laid whenever they want. Maybe just not by who they want.

Now, this statement makes some sense.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
When do you want to hear I love you
Posted: 10/24/2012 8:39:15 PM
That depends. Do you love her?
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
too good?
Posted: 10/21/2012 10:33:07 AM

Mundus... only you could pull off this kind of arrogance and still be attractive. ;)

Or... still be standing up...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 147 (view)
 
'Younger' older women. Why?
Posted: 10/18/2012 11:00:13 AM

...Now the recruting billboards appear to have young kids in uniform.

Maybe it's not just me, but, I swear, a couple of the local police officers in my town look 13 years old...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
dont see her often
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:56:58 AM

should i email her and take my chances that way

Don't do it at work. Doh!
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Why do people hate their exes?
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:20:43 AM

I heard somewhere the opposite of hate is love.

I think the opposite of love is indifference, not hate. Indifference means you really don't care, have no concern...disinterest.
To hate someone is to still have strong feelings for them.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 244 (view)
 
Online dating working for you?
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:08:14 AM
I'm serious about that comedy writing thing, Mae.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Should I ask my friend if I can date her ex husband?
Posted: 10/15/2012 12:49:08 PM
Is your high school best friend still in your realm of best friends? You say you lost contact and it's been 20 years since then, and that you two best friends reconnected post divorcees. Are you still good friends? Do things together? See each other or talk to each other often? If not, were I in your shoes I'd say nothing... for now, anyway. Are you looking to marry this guy? Want him for long term? Or, do you just wanna go on a date with him? It's just dinner, at this point... no worries.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 56 (view)
 
I almost missed a gem.
Posted: 10/9/2012 9:03:14 PM

@Boondock...
Are you deliberately trying to be an arse?

This is a rhetorical question, huh? :)
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
You just say those things.... why would she say that.
Posted: 10/6/2012 11:06:43 PM

When someone says that, it means your behavior doesn't match your words.

♪ Ding ♪
In-congruent behavior... actions don't jive with words.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Rude Girlfriend. What gives?
Posted: 10/3/2012 11:40:14 PM

Tell her you feel disrespected and whct specifically bothers you and if she doesn't agree and won't change then dump her.

I'd do something like this, for sure. ... but, if it doesn't "feel right", then it doesn't feel right, and may not ever feel right. Is that something you can happily live with? My neighbor is kinda like this, but instead, she dumps me to focus on her man...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
He has two profiles and with two different intentions
Posted: 10/3/2012 4:54:23 PM

...my online dating theme song, "send in the clowns"


"♫... don't bother... they're here"
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/2/2012 7:31:37 AM
I sometimes mix up my son's & my dog's names. I've got cousins, Michelle and Melody, and damned if I can ever figure out what to call 'em when I see 'em. I know who each one is, but I bounce thru a lot of Mels & Shells before I settle on the right one. They get it. My son's last two girlfriends names were Ashley and Allie; Now, he's engaged to a woman named Abbey. Wish me luck.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 128 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/30/2012 1:42:07 AM

I am all for equality of the sexes when it comes to transportation......so, if I have a car, so should you......if I have my own place to live, so should you.......if I have money in the bank, and self sufficient, so should you......end of discussion!!

Geez... a bit harsh, but I get what you mean... but, "end of discussion!!", really? Oh dear... I might be down a rung... Now, on self sufficiency, I'm with you 100%. I say if one can pull his or her own weight equally in the dating game by being self sufficient, by not expecting, or asking the auto (or house, bank acct.) owning person to provide, share with them these things... then, no problemo. If I plan a meet-up with a guy and he arrives at said place at said time, pays for his own drink, doesn't ask to stay at my place, or if I know of a transient hotel nearby, departs by his own means, not asking me for a ride, or lamenting on all his misfortunes in life... and trying to compare his to what mine may or may not be... (harsh, yeah, I can be too) Then, what do I know, care... about a car? At least early on, anyway. Not saying I can't appreciate how these inequalities can create huge issues for a couple considering an exclusive relationship, quite the opposite... It could be where my "end of discussion!!" begins.
Full disclosure: I have a car—you need one where I live... on the edge, in the sticks, over the hills.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What to do ?
Posted: 9/29/2012 1:32:53 PM

... It's bad enough to be punished by a woman whom has cheated on you and never wishes to see you or speak with you ever again. Even after I provided for her , her whole life . She never had to go out and work once. I made sure we were warm , fed and had a roof over our heads. Now it seems that every woman out there is trying to punish me along with her.

Your above statements seem to contradict the one below:

So this man decides to move on...

It does seem clear, that although you've decided to move on—good job... a biggie right there—I doubt that you actually have moved on, completely, with that move onward. Therapy can always help. Getting some legal counsel is also good advice. And, focus on what you want, need, like, can't live with... instead of trying to figure out why "... every woman out there is trying to punish me along with her." Pretty broad statement for someone just six weeks out of a LTR... No one is punishing you (well, maybe the ex, i dunno) but, you're kinda doing a fine job of that on your own. Don't do that! Be nice to yourself once in a while. You deserve it. And perhaps, ease up on the "looking for a relationship" mindset. Figure out what exactly you mean by that... and, is your definition possible..?
Tough journey you're on. Hang in there.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Love Yourself First
Posted: 9/28/2012 9:05:52 AM

I believe that people need to learn to love themselves first before entering into a relationship. Not that it is easy because you have to deal with your flaws and that may be difficult. One must learn unconditional love for themselves before loving someone else. Am I wrong?

I believe as you believe, and what you believe makes perfect sense.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 9/27/2012 6:34:45 PM
It would depend on how I felt about the man, really. Basically, I dislike false advertising (for lack of a better phrase at the moment), and I'm more of "really, this is me... nobody's required to like me" type person... And prefer that in a man, too.

....padded bras, girdles, ass shaping panties, fake eye lashes, make up, on and on and on.....shall I go on?

Just so ya know, I don't wear any of these "body enhancer" things... I would hate to surprise anyone... What you see is what you get, I always say.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 340 (view)
 
What about long hair on a man..Is it attractive or not? and WHY
Posted: 9/27/2012 3:56:46 PM

What about long hair on a man..Is it attractive or not? and WHY

Yes, depending upon the hair and the man it belongs to... Not that I find short, even shaved, or bald unattractive—never. Any hair length can be sexy—again, it depends on the man.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
new opening line..
Posted: 9/27/2012 3:50:54 PM
My thoughts? WTF? Listen to the pig, he knows...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Did I blow it?
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:44:09 PM

I texted her back telling her that I understand that I was being stupid and that I would give her some space and that I would back off for a little... and I havent heard anything since... I really like this girl and Im really upset right now.

You may wanna back off for a long time... "for a little..." ain't gonna work, in my view. You gotta give her space—clearly she's asking for it. Pressuring & pestering (her word) will push her away. Chill.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 178 (view)
 
Life without love/Relationships
Posted: 9/24/2012 9:28:01 PM

So, don’t make finding a partner the end all and be all of your happiness. Get out and find things you love to do, enjoy your independence, spend lots of quality time with friends, and learn to like yourself and your life the way it is now. Happy, secure men are sexy men! =)

And (can't resist), to quote another song, "I second that emotion..."
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Indifferent, torn, and venting
Posted: 9/24/2012 2:45:24 PM

@holycowcowcow
Once again, your attitude is the kind that creates stigma against those with mental illness. MANY people suffer clinical depression & anxiety. YOU might even one suffer from a mental illness one day, & your words will come back to haunt you when you're discriminated against & no one will consider a relationship with you. Most people with anxiety & depression recover with help, & can lead mostly normal lives. Are you also predjudice against people who walk with a permanent limp, or who are missing a finger, or had a cancer operation, or have M.S., or Crohn's disease, etc...? Good luck finding your "perfect" person...

Thank you, Smudgefizz.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 176 (view)
 
Life without love/Relationships
Posted: 9/24/2012 12:17:42 AM

Whiskey,,,,lots of it. A river full of willing fish, and me tossing feathers at em. And a real good sense of humour. Ya just gotta laugh.

Ha ha ha. This works for me, too... except mine is an ocean of fish with me tossing bits of dead fish at em... Be happy with yourself, find things in your life to be grateful for and figure out how to make yourself happy. Do something new, a new activity, event or such. Who knows what you'll find. I am happily alone, myself—that's not to say I don't feel lonely sometimes or miss the physical intimacy and closeness of another, but I keep busy, have other social outlets like, theatre, hiking, local history and, up until recently, my dog. Keeping my occupied w/other enjoyable things keeps things in proper perspective for me. Plus, being in a relationship wouldn't preclude my involvement in these activities. You know the song: "... No, you can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait..." Exercise helps a lot, too.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
What are your intentions for being on this site?
Posted: 9/23/2012 12:15:45 PM
I'm here for the experience... insight, ideas, discussion and sure, dating. It's more about the experience of exploring people and their ways of thinking, and how they relate to others... A relationship? If it happens I'm not opposed but, for now, pof is mostly a virtual expedition for me.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
friendship, relationship, both or nothing at all
Posted: 9/21/2012 10:32:03 AM
I'd call him and ask him to meet up for coffee, a drink... something low key, then I'd just ask him where he at with me. That's what I'd do if I were in your shoes. If I didn't know his phone # I'd opt for Muted's advice:

I think a better option is to drop him a line saying you’re planning to attend a public event you think he might be interested in, no obligation. If he shows, you have a chance to chat again. If not, nothing lost.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Times out sign in every 3 minutes?
Posted: 9/20/2012 6:39:29 PM

It doesn't save the message 100% of the time...


Then I would suggest user error on your part. I have never had it fail and post much more often then you. I do use FireFox I have no idea what browser you run. 3 mouse clicks and it takes under 3 seconds.

I use chrome and use the browser back arrow to find my post... I browser back & copy my post and then log back in, paste it in & post. Works every time... every annoying time I'm auto logged out... sometimes within minutes of logging in... but, I'm not bitter. Venting, but not bitter.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
weird to be direct with someone?
Posted: 9/20/2012 6:27:50 PM

is it weird to just send a direct message asking if she still wants to continue hanging out?

May I suggest a direct conversation, in person. I'd opt for an over-the-phone candid conversation over a text message, to be sure. "Sorry, been super busy with..." qualifies as communicating in my book, plus you guys barely know each other, it seems.
Listen to bucsgirl:
How else are you supposed to know what she's thinking if you don't ASK? Forget about being the "that guy", you need to do what's right for you and piss on what anyone else thinks. You'll get more respect for not trying to fit into what you think everyone else wants you to be. Most people like those who are direct, that way it's all out on the table and people don't have to try to guess what's going on in their head.

Personally, I've never been good at mind reading or fortune telling... Ask if you wanna know for sure. Other than that, keep an eye out for incongruent behavior... as in, do her actions match her words? And ask yourself the same... good luck.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
The two reasons why men propose
Posted: 9/20/2012 6:01:06 PM

I'm mortified -- had no idea I was supposed to do this -- where is that written down?

Can't be certain, but I may have seen you out in the yard drinking beer before...
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 646 (view)
 
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/20/2012 2:34:22 PM
Every guy? Wow. I'd say if you're tired of being used for sex, then in the words of Nancy Reagan, "just say no"—or, "no, thank you" (my preference) when they ask. Men want sex... yes some from women, even. And, women want sex from men. I know I want sex... sure, more than sex even, but just sex can work in the right circumstances, but If I'm looking for just sex, I'll be upfront with a man, rather than lead him there with the prospect, or promise, of a commitment or relationship. I like to know what a man wants with me, and if it's sex only, I say thanks for being straightforward and candid with me. Whether I respond with a yea or nay is my choice.
 livingwithadog
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 67 (view)
 
cock rings are they good or bad?
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:55:31 AM

Granted. And sometimes the uh-hem depends on the ring (smiles). The ladies over at my local womynsware find Laid penis rings from Norway quite pleasing.

I'll make a note. Thanks.
 
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