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 Author Thread: Moving away for love
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Moving away for love
Posted: 5/6/2007 9:32:15 AM
Original guy
just a question, did you have a full and happy social life where you were? Were you sad to leave? just curious.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Moving away for love
Posted: 5/6/2007 8:06:47 AM

We live in an electronic age now folks. The world has become a smaller place, we can email, phone or go to visit anytime....just hop on a plane. It's no big deal!

I see this time and time again. Yes you can keep 'in contact' but it's not the same as walking round to your friends house and having a coffee, sitting at the coffee table in the kitchen and crying or laughing or sharing, it just is not the same. And what was a twice weekly meet for coffee can easily turn into a four line email once a month. I've seen it so many times, physical contact seems to be very necessary to continue relationships often.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Knowledge or experience- which would you prefer?
Posted: 5/5/2007 5:46:48 AM
If you had the choice of two partners, one with little formal education but who had travelled the world and had exprienced life in many ways, or an intellectual who had spent their life studying and teaching, which would you prefer to be your partner?
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Moving away for love
Posted: 5/4/2007 3:58:47 PM
This is so interesting, I posted this on the ordinary dating site post, but didn't choose my words carefully enough, and the whole world said yes of course I would. I kept trying to say 'but at this time in your life you have made a life and there is so much to lose', but eveyone just kept saying friends will be there for life. Interesting how a slightly different age range thinks differently.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Moving away for love
Posted: 5/4/2007 10:58:40 AM
At a later age (say late 40's) and having a very strong network of friends around you, who have been there through thick and thin, would you be willing to move a long distance away to be with a new partner? Bearing in mind that you would have no back up network, no friends or job in the new situation. If things went wrong, the moving back may well mean that you would not be able to easily get back what you had (ie job, social circle). How do others feel about this and does this limit where you search for your new fish?
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
too much pleasure
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:43:05 PM
Too long (for me more than 20 minutes of very gentle touching) and I'll smack you round the head too. And after I've come - you would definately get smacked round the head. 3hours? means you didn't do it right for the first 2 hours and forty minutes!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
The Law of Average
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:31:35 PM
I find this interesting. I believe many people have body mismorphia, and think /want to believe they are average when they so are not,or think they are huge when they are not (or vice versa).
But (as has been said on many threads before) often, the male of the species looks into a mirror and think (Fonz voice) 'Hey' even when he is sofa sized comfortable, yet often the female of the species will look into that same mirror and not see what is happening but will see a very negative image of herself. I have seen lots of profiles where the guy thinks he is 'average' and he isn't, and lots where the lady says she is big when she is average.
Average in reality is a statisic, so I suppose most will base it on the people they surround themselves with. If I was around supermodels all day I would have to say I was huge. I'm not, and although I am under BMI I'm also not athletic!
I agree with the full pic thing though, what is the point in hiding who you are, if you ever meet it's gonna come out!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 145 (view)
 
Respectful ethnic question
Posted: 4/24/2007 11:31:39 AM
Jordan


If you thought otherwise, why ask a question which included "racial" labels (African American and Asian) ?!


Because I didn't know and was interested, and because in today's politicially sensitive climate, one has to be soooo careful not to offend anyone, I tried to choose my words carefully, and failed dismally!

Maybe you would prefer anyone with a question to stay quiet and stay ignorant! That's obviously the way forward.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 158 (view)
 
Okay! That's enough of the expected ESP BS! Rules are, please?
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:22:59 PM
kbot7
all I can say is that you are saying we aren't straightforward, and I got confused with where the question was in your post! (And they say women go round the houses) ha ha
Sorry it's late here and there was just too much to sift through, but if you want straightforward, then be straight forward.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Married sex
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:18:21 PM
They say that if you want sex in the evening you start the foreplay in the morning! By that I mean with a little touch, a little 'I love you' a cuddle a glance etc. And I know exactly what she means, when I was married I used to try to explain to my husband that I wasn't and electrical appliance, there wasn't an on/off switch.
You are not alone, I think this is a big problem between many couples.
For some reason it can end up becoming very off putting if one knows the other is just desperate for it all the time, so make sure you don't always try and initiate sex every time you have a cuddle otherwise you'll start getting frozen out.
Good luck
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Noise, grunts and sex, why?
Posted: 4/23/2007 10:18:49 AM
Yeah well, actually the thread was cos the last one that I really wanted to know the answer to, got deleted, and that was do others make the same sounds when they are masturbating, for some reason the mods didn't like it!! ha ha
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Love hurts? SO DOES SEX!
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:38:46 AM
It could be any number of things, but I had the same thing when I got married (a virgin) when I was 19. It took about 6 months to consumate that!! And really, it did actually come down to his size. Probelm being the first time it really hurts, you then start expecting it to hurt the next and tense up and that starts up a cycle. Often it's about not relaxing and being tense.
Try and take it real slow, mess around a LOT, and if you can, and you do, try and have a little ( a lot??) to drink so you are more relaxed.
I didn't realise what it was till we finished 10 years later,( for 10 years I had hated sex with a passion and couldn't understand what all the fuss was about), and I slept with a guy , who was much smaller, and from that moment I lerved sex!
Otherwise , as others say, go to Doc, or change positions.
Good luck.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Noise, grunts and sex, why?
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:30:07 AM
Ok, a 'wow that's lovely' but not 'grunt groan, more more, give me more baby, yes that's right!' on and on and on!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Using Sex To Replace Love
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:28:04 AM
Definately. And probably because as many say, often women see sex in a different way to men. If the women is insecure in the relationship, she could well hope that by him having sex with her it means that he cares even if he doesn't show it in other ways. But as we know, sometimes it doesn't mean that at all. And I'm sure if you change it round (women/men) it probably works the other way round as well.
Solution? either talk, discover what feeling are really there, or find a more compatible partner who can give the amount of affection needed.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
sex - the best exercise?
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:23:37 AM
I'm with you on that rejected. If you just lie back and think of (insert country) then surely not. If you bounce off walls and go all night then maybe, but what kind of sex are they basing these statistics on?
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Noise, grunts and sex, why?
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:21:38 AM
From the forums it would seem that most prefer their partner to make noise while having sex. My question is why? if I gave you a fabulous cordon bleu meal I wouldn't expect you to keep grunting and gasping and saying 'give me more' I would see from your smile that you were enjoying it. So why do we feel the need to make noises when having sex? and do people make those same noises when masturbating?
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Do women really get wet panties without getting physical?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:30:28 PM
But also very often it's nothing to do with thoughts about sex. It's just the way women's bodies are, and they stay lubricated. Sometimes just overloading/over lubricating. It has to do with various things, time of the month, age, time of the day etc.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Dry humping
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:23:25 PM
I for one hate it, it's painful and can actually cause tears in the delicate vaginal membrane wall if there is too much friction and she doesn't get wet.
So all you guys, if she says stop, please stop!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
PEOW.... PEOW....
Posted: 4/22/2007 4:39:49 AM
Just a plain old little vibrator! does it for me - got a rabbit but quite honestly it hurts, they put some moulding added on the side that is supposed to give pleasure, no pleasure for me though!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Your not welcome in this family...
Posted: 4/22/2007 4:37:50 AM
Sometimes, particularly when it's the kids who won't accept you, it will take a very very special type of relationship to overcome this. For me, it broke us up many times (we kept getting back together) but it's very hard for someone to choose new love over family who have been there all their lives and will still be there after new love has turned into past love. Good luck if this is your situation, sorry I have no advice, except be strong in yourself and don't allow it to bring YOU down.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What Qualities Does Your Mr/Ms Right Need For You
Posted: 4/22/2007 4:32:22 AM
But isn't that the point, and why so many people get so pissed off because so many just look at the photos? The reality is, that we may have a shopping list of desired qualities in our perfect match, then someone comes along who has very few of them but we just go weak at the knees and amend our shopping list to fit the person? (or is that just me). I have never even met a person who has all the qualities I would like my mate to have let alone had a relationship with them, so it's a little pointless really saying they must have this or that.

And also, it's just marketing and a personal point of view. If I say I have a fab sense of humour, that doesn't mean I have to everyone, just to me and some of my friends. If I say I am kind and loyal, I am, but only to my standards not everyone else’s. So, I think really that's where the pics come in. I know I go against what a lot of people think here (those who bang on about superficiality about wanting a photo) but from life experience you can very often tell from a persons face whether or not they would be someone you would get on with. We have a lifetime of experience of getting to know looks, facial expressions etc that please us, lines that show the person is a thinker, or smiles a lot etc. For me nearly always it's the eyes, and from nearly all of my friends, I can say that I can see in their eyes that they are the types of people I would like to spend my time with.
As an experiment, get a few of your friends to describe themselves and then see whether that matches up to how you view them,,, in my experience it often doesn't, so self proclaimed qualities aren't worth an awful lot in my book. jmho
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Was it a test?
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:12:35 PM
Eno
It's true where loved ones are involved, things go haywire. Who knows what may have happened. You were there for her when she needed you as best you could be, which is a lovely thing. And well done, I have read on here many times that people wouldn't help their exes out of quicksand. What will transpie to be the real truth only the future can tell, but you did your best, and with what you know, that is all you can take from it. So take that, and fel at ease. Don't imagine stuff that may not be true. You may never know the truth, but you do know your side of it and that is good enough.

Like previous posters, I had smiliar experiences when my parents died and quite frankly, was not as nice as I could have been to people, but in the main, they were loving and caring and I will always be grateful for that.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Sexual conversations...
Posted: 4/21/2007 5:51:14 PM
crazyrocker


Nothing disgusts me more than a conceited woman that thinks she can hold out on having sex with a guy as long as she can....................


While I get what you say...... are you saying that the ONLY reason any man ever wants a woman is for sex? the ONLY reason? Isn't it taken for granted that if thing s get off the ground and it all works out then when you get committed and get together big time, sex is part of the deal? Why is that holding out?
This is a piss take yes?
I don't know how many times I have had messages that just say... 'wanna sh ag'
Are you saying as a women that that is disgusting to not jump right in and say 'ooh yes please, please given me a sh ag, that is so the only reason I want to meet a man, please baby please come on and sh ag me, this is my phone number and this is my address.
I so hope all men think like you, I can't wait to meet them! ha ha ha ha ha (I feel I should add NOT to that, you probably don't get irony!)!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Low Male Sex Drive - is he pulling away?
Posted: 4/21/2007 5:43:42 PM
You don't say how long you have been together. It is quite normal for it to be every waking second at the start and to taper off! And what's normal for one isn't so for someone else. The fact that he is cuddly is very positive. Not everyone has the energy for sex daily. imho if there was someone else or a big problem there wouldn't be the cuddling. But what do I know, I'm here!! Good luck!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
When should we have sex?
Posted: 4/21/2007 5:10:12 PM

I dont mean to be too abrasive - but I would suggest in your case the answer be NEVER.

Now that had me falling about!!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
When should we have sex?
Posted: 4/21/2007 4:54:03 PM
And the question is??????
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Respectful ethnic question
Posted: 4/21/2007 2:21:57 AM
^^^
welcome back Jordan :-)

societies standard of beauty? while I agree with you up to a point, it shouldn't be forgotten that very few people actually fall into societies preferred standard of beauty, whether they be black, white, whatever, short, tall, fat, thin etc. In reality look at what society states to to be the ideal of beauty? and then think of how many you know actually fall into this?
Otherwise why would the beauty industry / plastic surgery industry be such a multi million dollar industry. Even the person I would presume (maybe incorrectly) you would say fits the standard, would still not actually feel accepted, which is why so many many poor souls are going through such procedures etc to change their appearance, their face shapes, their body shapes, their hair colour etc. Then we come on to ageing, being over the 'standard' again is seen as negative, so billions are being spent of youth giving products.
Nearly every group in society, whatever their background or roots, can somehow feel marginalised in some way. You'll say it's your colour, I'll say it's my height, she'll say it's her weight, he'll say it's his hair. Yes it is wrong, but it is the way life is, there will always be some, for whatever reason are considered more acceptable than others.
And what may reach the standard today in society, tomorrow will change, either because of fashion or because the person in question justs get older.
So you talk of a few Blacks trying to whiten their skin? what about the few whites who have boob enhancements, face lifts, nose reshaping etc etc for the same reason?
This may be a shortsighted comment but their are hundreds of threads on here where people complain about some reason as to why their lives aren't as they wish - based on physical aspects, and maybe when the world stops judging from what we look like and starts seeing us for our character or skill then life will be better, but I can't see it happening in my lifetime that's for sure, not while we all have eyes.
Unfortunately I can't see how this is OT, as the original (or revised question) was are their any differences in how people from other races / cultures make love, socities preference never came into it.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 140 (view)
 
Respectful ethnic question
Posted: 4/20/2007 4:08:57 PM
^^^
your original post



know I'm not suppose 2 be offended, so I will just say this...it's a shame that someone has 2 even ask such a question like this, it just goes 2 show how much "race" still plays a major role in 2days society, especially in the U.S.
As an asian/blk femme, I wouldn't even want 2 be w/some guy who's "curious" about how the sex would be w/me, it's just plain stupid


I asked why you call yourself exotic when you say that race plays such a part in the US - ie - if it shouldn't why would you consider yourself exotic?

I asked whether you had ever been courious about what something was like that you weren't familiar with in response to your comment on anyone who was curious about you being plain stupid. (Though I appreciate that wanting sex with you just for that reason is dum)

If you have no interest and are not here to judge, then why do it? (or imply it with your wording)

My comment regarding not coming from the US was from your comment saying what a shame it was that race still plays such a major role - comma -(same sentence) in the US. Implicitly implying that the comment came from the US

I also have no intention of being mean, but was very frustrated that having reposted many times trying to clarify things, the result was continually reading similar comments to an inadvisedly worded thread. I had an interest, a question, which was not supposed to be inflamatory or racist, but was deemed to be by many, when in fact it was just an idle curiosity, (which I believe is felt by many but avoided by many more as today one dares not ask many questions for fear of offending).
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 138 (view)
 
.
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:45:46 PM
.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Intimidated by Tall Ladies?
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:37:39 PM
Malstyne

I've found that taller women are "bigger" everywhere. honest! Makes me go for the short ones.

Fool!


Offkilter72


I have been with a disproportionate amount of taller women in my life. I attribute that to the fact that I don't think of them as tall women first, but as women. One constant they all had was that they were being reminded that they were tall on a daily basis. "hey, you're tall!"" How big are your feet" etc... So you can imagine when they come home, they want to be able to feel vulnerable, feminine and protected to some extent.
It does seem that really tall men want the really small girls, and the really small guys want the really tall girls. That has never made any sense to me, but since when does attraction make sense?
As for me, I don't have a type, if they catch my attention and have something beyond that, then I'm good to go regardless of height or body

Finally - a sensible comment from someone!!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Intimidated by Tall Ladies?
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:36:14 PM
Dentedknight


Are men intimidated by tall ladies?




those men who are shorter than me or same height feel intimidated if I wear high heels


Girls. Do actually know men that become timid because you put on SHOES???? I think you girls are just looney. Basically in tape mode. Ya just keep saying intimidated over and over again hoping it will become true rather than realizing men are just plain old not intimidated when you are thier height, but rather that they just prefer shorter women and you just are never going to un-grow?



one date complained cuz I wore my go go boots on our first meet and he was a half an inch shorter than me with them on


Yup. So all men are the same. And when he complained how do we know he wasn't chiding you in a lighthearted way? I know I would. Not because I was "intimidated" but just because it would be incongrous, not bad.

Madness.


Maybe you are right and the word intimidated is wrong, but it is a truth that ' some' men find it difficult to deal with women who are much taller than them. Maybe the men who are insecure in themselves. I have certainly had men be quite unpleasant and almost aggresive with me, for no good reason (backed up by friends) and the only thing I have ever been able to put it down to is height! I have no problem with it, but to say it doesn't exist is belittling a something that maybe you don't have any experience of.
At the end of the day there are expectations of what is 'normal' and when someone goes against that, there will always be comments - right or wrong. In the end, we just have to accept that what is.. is.. and deal with it.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Why are women so hung up on a mans height?
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:28:54 PM
People will date who they are attracted to - full stop. Whether they be shorter, taller, fatter thinner. What difference does it make. To say because I want a short fat man, or I want a tall thin man means I am shallow, is so rediculous, it beggars belief! We all hear how some men are boob men or are bum men, some are legs men, some like them skinny, some like them dark skinned some like them light skinned. So what? If you are not those things, that's all there is to it. Nothing you can do. Just because you like someone doesn't mean they like you back. That's life. Deal with it and fish in a pond that you know has fish who will bite the bait.!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Would you give up your friends for your soul mate??
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:20:35 PM
How old is she? I wonder if age has anything to do with it?
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 112 (view)
 
why are some woman afraid of admitting that they like sex?
Posted: 4/19/2007 11:19:05 AM
I'm interested... for the ones who say they love sex and everyone should talk about it, (genuine question here) how would they feel if their mother or grandmother said the same thing with the same type of language? genuinely interested.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Respectful ethnic question...not
Posted: 4/17/2007 11:55:51 AM

do not feel this is a stupid question. She was sincere and some of "us " hear crap and wonder. Why is she taking a beating because she is curious and asks ? Give her and the rest of us who hear these stories a brake... yes it might be sterotypical, but it is out there. At least she asked for confirmation, and you have all set her straight, okay ? Now we all know there is no difference. Done, let it go and cut her some slack.


Thank you!!!

And thank you Rojo.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
dating some 1 with emotional baggage...
Posted: 4/17/2007 11:48:00 AM

Children, past loves/lives, exes are not baggage. They're part of your present life and your experiences.


In your experience and your opinion. If you are single, have never had children and have never been married then being with someone who has a couple ofyoung kids with demands (natural) and an ex that has to be dealt with regularly (because of the kids) constitutes baggage in my eyes, compare that with meeting someone who is single, no ties and no children or ex. What word would you use to explain the difference?
That said, I didn't say I wouldn't accept it, just that for ME, that is baggage.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
The Ladder Theory
Posted: 4/17/2007 11:24:01 AM
Leanne - that's just what I was gonna say.
Sure you can feel or think things but some lines are just not for crossing. I have a very very dear friend, and I fancy (or fancied ) her husband something rotten from the day I met him. Point was though, that he was her husband. I know he found me attractive as well, but the bottom line is that my friend comes first. Over the years we have flirted playfully together, whilst both absolutley knowing, that however drunk, however whatever,nothing would ever ever happen. No way at all. And now, even if something were to happen which meant they weren't together, there is no way I could or would ever go there with this guy, or him with me. Loyalty to a friendship.
Just because you think something, doesn't mean you have to act on it!!
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Would you give up your friends for your soul mate??
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:54:39 AM

U would give up anything for your soul mate. Thats what makes them your soul mate :D

But then,this is not a perfect world. So they dont walk around with soul mate tattoo's on their foreheads. And if they are your "soul mate". They will continue to be. And time and distance. Shouldnt be able to change that. So, couldnt hurt to take some time. In my humble and completely ignorant opinion, that is. To truly get to know a person. From afar, as so much as your able. I mean how long a relationship, are U talking about here ? And one more stupe question. Why cant your soul mate, come 2 U ? Just being nosey. But U brought it up. So Im hoping. That questions are allowed.




PS,.... quote "(or just a really gorgeous partner!!)" unquote ? lol.
yeah deep,deep,deep relationship vibes. Coming off of that statement girl :D Good luck with this.

PS2,... summin else that occurs to me. Whether being with your "soul mate" is a desirable thing or not. Kinda depends, on what kind of soul U have eh ?




I'd have to agree with this poster

If he/she was truly your so called "Soul mate" and your friends were true friends, then you wouldn't have to give neither of them up. You would find a solution to keep them all close to you, because none of those people are replaceable.

And yet again, it gets misunderstood.

IF the fabby love of your life lived a trillion miles away, and your loverly friends and your loverly house and your job and your social life and everything that quite frankly gave you your identity lived in this place, then moving that trillion miles to be with that person would mean leaving all those things and people. Yes you could keep in contact on the phone and email but that just isn't the same. It also means that that person ends up being 'everything' to you, and is that healthy? I suppose in fact what I'm asking is, is everyone just biding there time till the love comes along, and then goes off with them, or have / do they actually get on and make lives for themselves where they are?
My problem with giving it all up , is what if it doesn't work out? you are then miles away and alone, no security, no friends, not much at all.

Having travelled for a very good part of my life, I know very very well how friendships are affected by not being there to nurture them frequently. Yes they are still contacts but it changes and everyone moves on.

To the ones who say why can't the soul mate move to you - its exactly the same question for them.

And please don't anyone else comment on the gorgeous thing meaning good looking - I have explained that! (Collins dictionary - inf: extrememly pleasing/fine/good)
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
For the women - How to make a man a better lover
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:21:36 PM
In my experience it's always been the kissing that goes first. The first time you make out, there's loads, then it gets less and less until it effectively ends up with a 'are you ready' as I come in the door' and two minutes later it's all over. Or is that just me?? ha ha
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
The Ladder Theory
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:15:30 PM
So do you mean 'if' the guy finds her attractive! What if he just thought she was generally attractive but he wasn't totally attracted to her, then do you believe he could be friends?
I have many male friends, but generally they are much younger than me, I think they think I am attractive, but I don't think they are attracted to me. I feel the same about them.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
dating some 1 with emotional baggage...
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:11:49 PM
Past loves, children and exes are, bitterness ,anger and unwarranted jealousy are not.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
why are some woman afraid of admitting that they like sex?
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:47:34 PM
^^^^
What with just anyone??
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Would you give up your friends for your soul mate??
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:43:19 PM
Why don't people read threads? answer me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agh agh agh
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Majoring on the Minor
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:39:41 PM
The point is that something like only 10% of communication is through words, the rest is body language and loads of other stuff (inflection, tone, eye movement blah), so when people date people they have only ever written to but not seen, the likelihood of hitting it off is very small. Its hard enough when you have seen them, but to take away a huge aspect of attraction, surely makes it even harder.
I'm very confused with this refusal to accept that physical attraction exists and if it does then its 'shallow'. That surely leads on to many odd situations, 16 year old (or whatever is legal) meeting and falling in love with 80 year old - why not?. We all have a criteria of what we want, and to deny it or say it is superficial, makes me very suspicious of motive.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Would you give up your friends for your soul mate??
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:25:06 PM
It's funny this perception of gorgeous, I wonder if its a US/UK thing, for me when I said gorgeous I meant just yummy in every sense, not particularly beautiful, except to me. I think my cats are gorgeous and they are the ugliest things, but the seetest little buggers you could find.!!

Back OT
I'm 40 cough splutter. I have moved around a lot in my life and finally I have found a place where I am happy and have security and friends, a home and a job I love. What I am interested in is, theoretically, if you meet someone, a bit later on in life, do you risk giving up all you have built, to go and find love, and then if it doesn't work out, what then, you have burned your bridges in many respects. It takes years to build up a base of friends. I have been lonely for a lot of my life, because I have moved so much, and this is the first time in my life that I'm not. I am so happy where I am. But it restricts my search that's for sure, and I wondered how others felt about it.
(Oh and the keeping in touch by emails and so forth just isn't the same as going for a beer or coffee several times a week.)
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Would you give up your friends for your soul mate??
Posted: 4/16/2007 12:26:26 PM
I don't get all the posts that say ' No way would I give up my friends and family but I would make the move'. If you are really close to friends and family - I mean see them numerous times a week, then, while no you aren't 'giving them up' you also are not going to be the same anymore, so, for me the ones of you who said yes you would move are Yeses.
Maybe I should have worded it 'who would you choose to be with, your friends and family or your lover 300 miles away'.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Majoring on the Minor
Posted: 4/16/2007 11:17:46 AM
robin4wheels

I read moonfishes post as a response to the above post talking about pics. Maybe I was wrong. Did n't mean to cause any offence, just didn't understand why you took it as if he were talking about you.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Would you give up your friends for your soul mate??
Posted: 4/16/2007 11:09:42 AM
^^^
Don't really know why you added about great looking - when I said gorgeous I meant gorgeous person, not looks.

And I understand the sentiment of not giving anything up, but if you see your friends many times a week, and the love of your life lived 300 miles away, something would have to give wouldn't it? No you wouldn't say you aren't my friends anymore, but you wouldn't feasibly be able to see them in the same way.
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Would you give up your friends for your soul mate??
Posted: 4/16/2007 10:41:00 AM
If you felt that you had met your soul mate (or just a really gorgeous partner!!) but they lived a long way from where you lived, would you be willing to give everything up to move to be with them? Or would you stay where you were with your friends and home and job etc and give them up?

Do you limit your search to where you live?
 lookandlearn
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 81 (view)
 
why are some woman afraid of admitting that they like sex?
Posted: 4/16/2007 10:37:40 AM
And going back to a past posting of mine. If you ask around many older women, who have been married a while, you'll find a lot of unhappy women who want sex, but's whose partners (men) have lost interest. I know of five couples like this. The women are gagging for it (quietly and discreetly and they don't broadcast it) while their husbands have just toally lost interest. Another wrinkle in nature I s'pose, where our peaks for sexuality are at different times generally.
 
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