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Thread: FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!

cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY! Posted: 5/21/2007 6:55:20 PM
If it were me, and it has been me on several occasions, to ignore the shit outta him for days on end. My ex never remembered or cared to remember my birthday and our anniversary. Those are only two days out of the year that are specifically for you and you should be honored on those days. I am sorry he didn't remember and most likely he is a very selfish person who doesn't really care about birthdays and anniversaries anyway. When his birthday comes around, do the same thing and conveniently forget his day.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

what to do what to do Posted: 4/21/2007 9:04:44 PM
I agree with sum1reel...he is keeping his options open on many levels. Are you dating exclusively? If you were, I would be hurt by his actions on POF. If you aren't dating exclusively, I would grab your fishing pole and start fishing for men in here as well. I bet that he would be jealous if you were looking for men.

cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Forcing the Ring Posted: 4/18/2007 9:53:50 PM
Wedding rings, engagement rings, I really dont think it makes much difference anymore....people are going to cheat whether they have a ring on anyway. There are lots of people out there who enjoy relationships with people who are otherwise committed. So to me, its the real character of a person, not the type of ring they are wearing.

cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Co-sleeping with kids as a single parent Posted: 4/18/2007 9:49:05 PM
My children have never slept with me....unless someone was sick or had a bad nightmare and ended up in bed with me for an hour or so. They were taught that their bed is their bed and that they need to sleep in it. No cosleeping with my children.

cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Should my lack of income be taken into consideration?? Posted: 4/18/2007 9:46:13 PM
In Michigan, all of your income for the past TWO years is taken into consideration.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Should you tell ? if asked if u slept with someone..... Posted: 4/16/2007 12:46:11 PM
Thanks a lot for the great support. Yeah, it was a nightmare soap opera and I am glad that I saw through everything and I am getting out. I know other women think, how could she have put up with this, but I simply loved the man and wanted things to work out. In the end, I was the one that was hurt horribly by these people. With lots of love from my family and friends, this will someday be just a notch hole on my belt of life. Now, I stay busy and I have reclaimed my social life and having a lot of fun in the process. Thanks again pouty!!! Cheryl

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Should you tell ? if asked if u slept with someone..... Posted: 4/15/2007 11:07:33 PM
Oh yes, the fact that he had these relationships during our separation had changed the course of our relationship forever. I couldn't get over this and was very hurt by what he had done. To make matters worse, during our reconciliation, one of the ladies that he had a relationship with and had actually moved in with was still contacting him by email and cell phone. She would tell him that the ball was in his court and whatever decision he made, she would wait for him. She would email him asking him if he and Cheryl were still hot and heavy. She waited for an opening to take advantage of, even though she had thrown him out of her house after a month of living together. When he left for the last time, it was within a couple of days that he was already contacting her. Needless to say, I was devasted by the games that my hubby and this woman were playing. Never again!!!

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Should you tell ? if asked if u slept with someone..... Posted: 4/15/2007 11:02:13 PM
I was recently in this situation....my hubby and I separated in July of 2006. We started seeing each other again in November and then decided to try a reconciliation in January. Although I didn't have any relationships during this time, including sexual partners, he had had several sexual partners during this time. Although I knew that he had been sexually involved, I did ask if he had used condoms with these women. The answer I got was this "they were all fresh from failed marriages themselves, so there was no possibility that they would have infections" and no that he did not use condoms. I didn't go along with this and had myself checked out at a clinic and I was fine. I did feel that it was my place to ask about protection. Subsequently, the reconciliation did not work and I am moving on in my life.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Is it to much to soon? Posted: 4/15/2007 10:36:16 PM
I love the idea of a mariachi band just for her. I would be very touched by the gesture and would probably invite you to come in and listen to the band with me and have a birthday drink. I am just a big romantic at heart.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Chivarly, ok well Romance?? Posted: 4/15/2007 10:26:37 PM
If it were me, I wouldn't care about the mess and my only thoughts would be rolling around in the rose garden on the floor, playing in the bubbles with you and just having good clean fun. Who cares about the mess, we can clean it up in the morning after a quicky, having breakfast and before we go to work. This type of romantic gesture would have me weak in the knees and I would be so very appreciative. Its nice to know that there are truly romantic men out there!!!

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Clean shaven men Posted: 4/15/2007 10:14:39 PM
While I like "clean shaven", I also love facial hair!!! I am a big fan of the 5 o'clock shadow and love to be kissing and have those whiskers tickle me. I love the "rustic weekend look". I love goatees, moustaches, full beards, I am a fan of it all. Bring on the whiskers!!!

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

shared parenting Posted: 4/15/2007 9:25:29 PM
Last year, I was in the same situation....my hubby and I had been separated and there was a long stretch of time that our son did not see his father. Well, out of the blue my hubby calls and says "I am living with this woman and I want to have our son come and spend the weekend with me". I said "absolutely not"!!! While our son was getting used to dad being gone and not seeing him, then finding out that he was parenting other children, upset him horribly. Later, I found out that my intuition was right on as the relationship lasted only a month and my hubby was thrown out of this girlfriend's place. After that, it was suggested that he sees his child on an occasional basis, at a park, restaurant or just going for a walk together to talk. On the other hand, if the relationship was to get serious and become long term with a committment or a plan for marriage, then he could get his child for longer stretches at his home and it wouldn't be right for me to deny this relationship. However, I didn't agree with the fact that he was on a rebound with this woman and selfish enough to want his child mixed up in all of his bad decisions. You have every right to put your foot down on this and to protect your child. Good luck, Cheryl

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Postnatal question... Posted: 4/15/2007 8:47:46 PM
You are experiencing what they call the "baby blues". While you are overjoyed by the arrival of your baby, you get to deal with the lack of sleep, pain, adjusting to your new family dynamic and the crazy mood swings. This passes over time and usually lasts about 18 years!!! LOL Just kidding, had to throw a bit of humor in there. As you start recovering and baby is sleeping, you will get your groove back and return to happiness. As the weather gets warmer, put baby in a stroller and go for a walk around the block, sleep when baby sleeps and if you have to limit visitors because your are tired...do what you can to take good care of yourself. Talk to your fiancee, let him know how you feel and dont just let him try to figure out how you feel. Keep the lines of communication open. However, if these feelings do not seem to go away or seem to get worse, you need to talk to your doctor about meds for PPD. Its nothing to be ashamed of and many mothers (including myself) go through this temporarily. Good luck and take care.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

How do I tell my 7 year old her dad's a jerk? Posted: 4/15/2007 8:38:10 PM
A nice confrontation with the ex is in order.....he needs to know that if he is NOT going to buy her anything, he needs to NOT promise her. Without making dad out to be a jerk, you need to say to your daughter, daddy must not have enough money this week because he had to pay bills or fix his car and hopefully this sooths her over. As far as telling her that dad is a jerk, isn't right. In time, she will learn that he is a jerk and she will make up her mind if she wants to see him, not see him and will be able to see through his little lies about the supposed pending gifts. I just asked my 12 year old son the other day, are we going to send your dad a card for his birthday and in his own little intelligent way said, "what did dad get me for my birthday"? He was very right. In the meantime, let your daughter figure it out along the way, with you lovingly standing by to help pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 256 (view)

Grandville, - April 13 - E3 Bistro Posted: 4/15/2007 4:35:50 PM
Ladies, Thanks for organizing the meet and greet. I met up with a couple of friends that I have been communicating with in POF; Dave and Hera1 (and Hera's friend Heather) and I had an absolute ball. I did not find the evening intimidating at all and actually felt comfortable and that the pressure was off, because everyone else was single and could talk to everyone so openly and easily. It was a great evening and I was happy to have the excuse of dressing up and getting out and meeting others. Thanks for an enjoyable evening. Cheryl

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 89 (view)

sense of humor Posted: 4/12/2007 11:48:51 PM
While a sense of humor is important to me, the ideal gentleman would be sensitive, compassionate, caring, honest, spontaneous and outgoing. Humor does tend to spice up life and laughing is the best medicine for good and bad times. You gotta be able to laugh at yourself.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

First Date Ideas... Posted: 4/9/2007 9:50:31 PM
All of the options are GREAT!!! However, I think option #1 is the best. During dinner, you can continue to build on your conversations that you have had on the phone, online, etc. and just see where things go from there. If there is that proverbial spark, you could then suggest to go for the walk and find dessert at another place - as you mentioned.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 231 (view)

My 14 yr old dating a 20 yr old and on the pill Posted: 4/9/2007 8:57:36 PM
Gawd Sam: I just posted, not realizing that the OP was Canadian. No, I am not too "dense", just underinformed. Come down here Sam, mess with my 15 year old daughter and see what the courts will do to ya here, only after what I would do to you first. Gawd, you dont have to be such an idiot!!!

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 227 (view)

My 14 yr old dating a 20 yr old and on the pill Posted: 4/9/2007 6:52:54 PM
By allowing her to have the birth control pills, she is allowing her full reign to continue this sexual relationship with this person. Secondly, this man is 20 and should be prosecuted to the absolute lengths that one can go. Maybe mom or dad needs to have a talk with this boy, letting him know that she is only 14, she could be parading around acting like she is older than she really is, especially if he thinks she looks older than 14. Let him know what will happen if he does in fact get her pregnant, when she has him sworn in on the paternity papers, he will automatically go to jail (charges brought on by the hospital) and she will have no control as to what happens then. Ultimately, she will be a single mom and dad will be in prison for statuatory rape.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Take back my cheating wife and restore the marriage??? Posted: 4/9/2007 6:47:49 PM
If you truly want her and she wants you back, I would suggest that you do some couple's counseling - while living separate. Put the divorce on hold for maybe a couple of months. If the counseling bit doesn't work, then you proceed with the divorce. I believe you should try to work things out, as long as you are both agreeable in making drastic changes in what went wrong in the first place. If there is plenty of a marriage/relationship to build on, then by all means work with the strengths and see the counselor about your weaknesses. I do not believe that love, alone, will fix everything, but that is a really great start. Good luck in all that you both do.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

To email the other girl or not? Posted: 4/9/2007 7:45:29 AM
Jlizzy: Use the anger to move on. Its easy to say and I have had to do this myself recently. Men are pigs....I told on my husband, but of course she/they didn't want to listen. They are just as sick as he is, defending him and fighting for him. Sending emails back to me. During our separation last year, one lady moved my hubby in after three days of knowing him online. They lived together for a month, when she finally dumped him back at the place he started at. The day later, THEY BOTH CONTACTED ME!!! She was complaining about him; spending too much time on the computer, leaving Mountain Dew bottles and cigarettes all over the place and the biggie that made her get rid of him was that he smoked in the bed before going to sleep - lest she smoked herself. He contacted me, because he missed me horribly and wanted to see me. I played into it, saw him and eventually reconciled by moving back in together with each other. During our reconciliation, this woman that dumped him still wanted him, she was emailing and calling him. My hubby and I had a confrontation about this and you guessed it, he left and went back to her. He was playing with both of us and I, therefore, will no longer allow him to bounce back to me again. I would like to tell her that if she streets him again, then she needs to tell him to go somewhere else and not to call me. The moral of this story is that just because they move onto a different partner, their spots and stripes do not change. So whatever bad behaviors he did with you, he will most likely do with her. Wish her luck, she gets the prize and you get the option of moving on and finding a new beau who will treat you better.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Are their any guys left who like chunky gals? Posted: 4/8/2007 11:10:19 PM
A little lonely: You said in your profile that your interests are "confident men", they want the exact same thing. Give it a try!!! Cheryl

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Are their any guys left who like chunky gals? Posted: 4/8/2007 10:55:52 PM
I am a very happy bigger woman!!! I believe that there are many men out there who enjoy women with a little extra something to love. I stay active and outgoing and would never just stay home and pine for someone to love me. I get out, get busy and enjoy life. Yes, I am a bigger woman, but that isn't going to keep me in the house. I have busy teenaged children and stay active with them. You need to love yourself, because if you dont, nobody will. If its your weight that bothers you, not to be mean or anything, get active and lose some weight - you will feel better about yourself. I walk the dog 30 minutes a day. Its not coming off fast, but at least I am doing something for myself and it lifts my mood as well. When you are happy on the inside, it shows on the outside. Of course, I have my doubts sometimes, but its their problem if they dont like me as there are many more fishies out there that will appreciate me for who I am.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Are their any guys left who like chunky gals? Posted: 4/8/2007 8:40:02 PM
You are stereotyping yourself....giving yourself a label. What about, I am fun to be around, love to do this, or do that. How about that you are outgoing and like to dance or enjoy art? If you label yourself as a "chunky girl" you will be perceived as a chunky girl. You are who you are, keep your head up, walk tall and enjoy being the beautiful person you are. In time, you will meet Mr. Wonderful who will love you for YOU. So, look in the mirror and come up with a new label and just smile. Try it, you will like it. I have done the same, got rid of the "big girl" label and I am much happier for it. Good luck, Cheryl

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 126 (view)

HES SEEING OTHER PEOPLE AND DOESNT WANT ME TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE Posted: 4/8/2007 8:23:51 PM
Unfortunately for Stacy, I am the winner here and my congratulations go out to you on winning the prize. You worked so hard for it, because you couldn't stay out of someone else's business. Good luck to you, my dear. Cheryl

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 118 (view)

HES SEEING OTHER PEOPLE AND DOESNT WANT ME TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE Posted: 4/5/2007 9:35:38 AM
Unfortunately, he is controlling you. I had it recently where I was separated from my husband (he became addicted to the online dating on POF and actually lived with one woman after knowing her for three days), he came back to me for a possible reconciliation and during our time together this hoe that he lived with was calling, emailing him and carrying on wanting him back. I had signed up on POF to see what all of the buzz was. While he was carrying on having conversations with women and talking to them on his cell phone, he was accusing me of seeing people just because POF was in the history in explorer. We have broken up and I feel that he controlled me, it was okay for him to see/talk to people, but was quickly accusing me that I was doing the same and I was not as I wanted the reconciliation to work. I told him to leave this hoe from Muskegon alone, but he refused and kept on. I wasn't going to be his wife in the middle of his girlfriends, confronted him and he left THANK GOD!!! Now, I am having a great time chatting with gentlemen here.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 364 (view)

Hello there...! First time on ..!! Metro Detroit area 40 something white male...... Posted: 4/4/2007 12:16:46 PM
Hi, I am Cheryl and I am a 39 year old single mom. I live in Holland. When I am not working really hard, I love to be out and about and have a good time. Having a ball here on POF. For more, check out my profile. Cheryl

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 107 (view)

!!!! Posted: 4/4/2007 12:00:59 PM
It seems as if you are more ashamed of your children than your dating habits. My children come first and foremost!!! If you have been in a long-term relationship with someone and there is a chance that there is a committment, it shouldn't matter what color your children or he is. It comes down to love and without love and loving everyone involved, then you should just walk away. To love me, is to love my children as well.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Women do talk to each other on POF Posted: 3/30/2007 10:11:43 PM
I have a couple of lady friends that I have met in here and its fun to talk about our dating experiences in here. Would be nice to know who the bad fish are though....

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Why are women so hung up on a mans height? Posted: 3/29/2007 9:58:31 PM
Since I am a tall lady at 5 feet, 10-1/2 inches, I have always been with men that are either my height or a little shorter. I do not mind this at all. Height isn't a problem with me, its the person that I am with that is the important thing. I think a really short man would have a bigger problem with it than I would.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

tattoos Posted: 3/29/2007 9:53:50 PM
I like tattoos as long as they aren't vulgar and are in good taste. I do not like the tattoos that run along the neck line, seems too ganster for me. A nice tribal tatt is sexy, but what's important it is a part of who he is and usually means something special or life-changing for him.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

My man is addicted to computer gaming. Posted: 3/26/2007 7:32:48 PM
Too late, we have separated and I am moving on.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Life after divorce Posted: 3/26/2007 12:07:02 PM
The best thing you can do during a time like this is take care of yourself first, a healthy and happy mom is the best thing you can give to your children. Equally as important as getting out with the kids and doing the typical kids thing, is to get out yourself and have a girl's night out. If its possible, are you able to move to be closer to family and friends? This is your life now, you can do with it as you wish and you have no one to answer to or to make decisions for other than your children and our children are always happily supportive of us. That's very powerful in itself. Someday, you will look at this as a minor bump in the pavement of life. Enjoy the possibility of the unknown and not only accept, but celebrate whatever good that comes your way!!! Yes, there is life after divorce!!!

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

I'm sorry. Posted: 3/25/2007 10:56:44 AM
Thank you live with verve, it was hard. I am moving on and starting anew. Our divorce will be final in a month or so and I know there is someone out there willing to spend quality time with a lady who really appreciates it. Might be a needle in a haystack and may take years, but I plan to enjoy the journey and wherever it takes me.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

My man is addicted to computer gaming. Posted: 3/24/2007 11:11:59 PM
Yes, true, but there has to be a balance between game, life and love.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 204 (view)

Why do Men make it such a big deal ....I AM A GREAT COOK! Posted: 3/23/2007 11:50:49 PM
I love to cook, but I also think it's sexy seeing a man in the kitchen cooking something up for me. Coming up with ideas for dinner every night is boring, but if my significant other had some ideas as to what we could have differently for dinner one night would be my hero!!! I think it is fun to cook together as well.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 119 (view)

What is the best benefit of a relationship? Posted: 3/23/2007 11:41:53 PM
My favorite parts of a relationship: 1) Spooning before you go to sleep. 2) Not the convenience of sex, but the MAKING OF LOVE. 3) Companionship. 4) Friendship, knowing you always have a date to the movie or dinner. 5) Partnership in life and responsibility. 6) Cuddling. This is just a few of my favorite relationship things....

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Rings Posted: 3/23/2007 10:34:47 PM
Maybe, within your budget, you could go and have a ring custom made for her. I know there are the kinds of jewelers out there that ask the questions, "is she classy", "what kind of job does she have", "does she dress up for work every day, is she a casual lady" and after that they are able to come up with a ring perfect for her. I would be absolutely thrilled with something my future fiance had custom made for me, it would definitely be the thought that he put into it, which would mean much more than just going to the store and picking something out because it fit into his "budget", and if he had a limited "budget", then what he picked out would be mainstream and something every other woman had on her finger.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Best place to meet women (other than bars) Posted: 3/23/2007 10:25:39 PM
You could always hang out at a bookstore that also has a coffee bar attached to it. So you could sit, drink your coffee and shop for women who are shopping for books. Its just an idea. I have seen lots of good looking guys relaxing in the big chairs perusing books before buying them and I am sure much is the same with women. Happy hunting.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

My man is addicted to computer gaming. Posted: 3/23/2007 9:58:00 PM
Thanks alot guys. Yes, it is an addiction and I have patiently tried pulling him away from this. I have even challenged him that if he got away from the game for a couple of days, he may be able to have fun and explore our relationship, i.e., intimacy, friendship, companionship. I feel that I was more than patient, yes he wasn't running around in the bars and was home when he wasn't working. But, he just wasn't putting forth any effort into the marriage. It hurt horribly when the man I truly loved was so distant into that game and just wasn't reciprocating my affections towards him. I spent a lot of time alone and doing my own thing. It's not my buisness as to why you are on here .But is he using the game as an outlet to escape from the real world[could be pressure from his job or family issues with you]. In an answer to this, we had been separated for some time (I built this profile during the separation, but had put it into hide mode when we were together and he put his into hide mode as well). When he left, I got back in here. He wasn't escaping from me as I would have been very happy to be with him if he would have just hit quit/escape or whatever to come and spend time with his wife. He is gone now, which he decided to do, and I need to move on. Its too late for us and the divorce shall be final in a month or so and with him here or gone, either way I am still alone.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

When do you get roses? Posted: 3/23/2007 2:48:10 PM
I think flowers anytime is good. If you have been chatting with a lady online for a while, headed into the telephone phase and you have hit it off, a simple bunch of flowers on the first real date would be great. I know that it would get my attention and I would feel very appreciative of someone taking that simple step into making me feel special. I have purchased flowers for men in the past and seemed that they enjoyed them as much as I have. Of course, the red rose means love, so you might wanna be careful with that one until you know your in love. There are web sites out there that explain the language of each flower.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Looking younger than you are. GOOD? BAD? Posted: 3/22/2007 11:22:56 PM
When you get older you will appreciate it!!! I am turning 40 in June and a 27 year old tried picking me up the other day at a gas station, thinking that I was 29. My profile pic is okay, but I look a lot better in person. I also love to have fun and I am always joking or charming people, so it makes me seem younger. All in all, its a good thing.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 114 (view)

Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move? Posted: 3/22/2007 5:29:32 PM
I believe these threads are for everyone to voice their own opinions on one thing or another. I chose this, because I wanted to put my hat in the ring as saying that I personally would feel like a whore/slut/loose/easy (pick your favorite) or perceived as one by giving into sex on a first date. My first post wasn't meant to ATTACK anyone at all and I truly apologize if I have offended you Dolly or any other woman here. I totally agree that there is a double standard with the fact that women would be perceived as loose if she has sex on the first date and men are not perceived as anything other than taking care of business. It is not fair. I believe there is much more to a relationship than JUST sex. But without a relationship or some sort of committment, sex is just that....sex.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 94 (view)

Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move? Posted: 3/22/2007 8:56:15 AM
Dolly, I was in no way implying that you were a "whore". I said that it was my choice to not have sex on the first date, because that is the choice I have made for myself at this time. I am sure that most of the people on this site are just looking for sex and they are getting plenty of it, because it is easy to say hi, chat for a few minutes, meet somewhere and do it. I feel that I am not here for that. My goal is to meet nice gentlemen who have some of the same interests and qualities that I do, to maybe develop some sort of respect first and then move into the actual sex act later. I am a very sexual person and enjoy it as much as anyone, but I feel I would rather be in love or at least close to a monogamous relationship with that person before doing the deed. Call me old fashioned. Is it totally wrong to protect myself and to hold myself to a higher regard?

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 84 (view)

what do you think of the Viewed Me section Posted: 3/22/2007 12:33:02 AM
I kind of like knowing who has checked me out and is flattering to see that there are so many in my "viewed me" pane. Not only did they see my pic, but they took the time to click and read my profile. Maybe they didn't say anything to me today, but they might tomorrow. I just check them out as well and if they have something in their profile that spikes an interest, I will send a little email and simply just say hi.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 26 (view)

How long does it take to move on Posted: 3/21/2007 11:55:03 PM
I guess it is safe to say that you can successfully move on when you no longer have feelings, longing or emotion towards your ex. I know of this guy who was separated from his wife, started dating very shortly after the separation (two weeks and the split was her choice) and between every girlfriend, he contacted his wife. He has obviously not moved on and was just using his girlfriends as human Band-Aids. If you feel that you need to date to get over your significant other, that might not be a very good idea and never ever seems to work out. Its just smarter to give yourself time to get yourself to that happy place again and when you feel good about yourself and have no reservations regarding your lost love, your MOJO will return and you will celebrate it.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 116 (view)

Viewed me but didn't write Posted: 3/21/2007 11:40:37 PM
I haven't thought too much of it and I have viewed some back. If there is anyone who thinks anything like me, sometimes I am seriously looking (emailing when I am really interested) and there are days that I am just grazing and just checking things out.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 113 (view)

Guys, would this boost your ego? Posted: 3/21/2007 11:27:44 PM
I say, Kudos to the dad who picks his child up from school, offers to do homework and gets him somewhat ready for bedtime. I say, let him have a key and enjoy the fact that this father wants to be an important part of his child's life. If not giving it to dad, maybe attach a key (securely) to your son's backpack on the day he is supposed to be with dad. You say you don't want your ex to go through your things, put a lock on the rooms that you don't want him in, say the bedroom, closet or whatever. My ex could care less about spending time with his son. I applaud this man for taking the time to be with his child. I would do whatever I could to support this relationship between father and son, which in turns makes things easier for you on the days that your ex has him, i.e., you can leave work a couple of minutes early and go get a mani/pedi, your hair done or whatever. This could be something that you enjoy for yourself as well. If your new guy is the good guy you know him to be, he will support this arrangement as well and maybe he can find something for himself to do during these visits. There are so many positives here...good luck!!!

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move? Posted: 3/21/2007 10:50:15 PM
I have this firm belief that if I do not respect myself and my body, who will? Then, there is the issue that if you don't put out on the first date they might not call you anyway. So, if I had the choice of sex or no sex on the first date and the possibility that he may never call again, I think I would rather the latter and at least I keep some sort of dignity and can still show my face in the profiles and not be viewed as an internet whore. That's just my opinion....for whatever it is worth.

Cheryl0667

Joined: 12/9/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

My man is addicted to computer gaming. Posted: 3/20/2007 11:07:54 AM
I don't believe that I sulked and confronted him already upset. I made little cute hints that I wanted to spend more time with him; brought him coffee and breakfast after work. However, when my attempts are constantly ignored or turned down, you get to feeling pretty bad and not wanted. I was always doing the initiating. I also work at home in the medical field, and wanted his friendship and companionship. I started this profile back when we were separated and had put it into hide mode when we were together, I was not actively pursuing relationships or "fishing" when he was home. I was committed to the reconciliation. However, he was still keeping in contact and "dating" behind my back, which I had found out when he was home. To be even more honest, he left me in the bedroom to see what was going on when our son was playing. This hurt very badly.

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