Five year celibacy in a married couple.... chat & forums.

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Thread: Five year celibacy in a married couple....

Joined: 7/16/2011

Msg: 31 (view)

Five year celibacy in a married couple.... Posted: 8/14/2011 4:59:32 PM
It would depend on where you live. You can look up the marriage laws in your state. In mine, you're not separated until one of you moves out of the house. You can't file for divorce until one of you has moved out. I am not in the legal profession, but simply Googled MD marriage laws. I am separated, but would not consider someone separated who was still living with their spouse, nor would I want to date them. IMHO Separation typically means you live in separate households. No sex, is no sex. But separation is under two separate roofs. Although there are some states that allow you to live under the same roof and file for divorce. There would be your exception, where if you filed for divorce and still cohabitate with your spouse, you could call yourself "Separated."

Joined: 7/16/2011

Msg: 7 (view)

What's a good introduction message to you? Posted: 8/4/2011 9:40:45 PM
A good introduction message is one that shows that you have taken the time to read their profile. If you mention even one thing they listed in their profile, that should help. I consider all vague messages to be spam and are completely ignored.

Joined: 7/16/2011

Msg: 29 (view)

celibacy 101 Posted: 8/2/2011 9:22:32 PM
I have been celibate since my separation after a 21 year marriage. Several things have really helped me stay on track: 1.) Prayer and Bible reading 2.) Avoiding sexual stimulators, such as visuals on TV or reading. 3.) Not putting yourself in a situation where sex could happen. Here are some examples: Go on couple dates, don't ever go back to their place or take them back to your's, don't kiss laying down, or with a close full body contact, or you can have a long distance relationship :) I applaud your decision! Nothing worthwhile is ever easy!

Joined: 7/16/2011

Msg: 48 (view)

Question for anyone presently practicing celibacy... Posted: 7/31/2011 9:04:49 PM
Hello, I have been celibate since my separation and will refrain from sex until I remarry. (My choice, and I totally understand if it's not yours.) My reasons are based on the Bible. The benefits are that it really filters out people who do not have the same convictions. One of the other benefits is that it just feels better that I have not given of myself to those who didn't think that I am worth the wait. Think of the sexually transmitted diseases you avoid, and the possible pregnancies. I also think it is much easier to get over a relationship if you did not become one with them through intercourse. Our skeletons become baggage in our future relationship and marriage. The less the better, right? IMHO. One issue I am having is that as soon as I bring up that I'm celibate, the skid marks seem to soon follow. But that's okay! I'm perfectly happy with my kids and myself and I'm in NO hurry to marry or find a relationship. I'd rather wait for the right person.

Joined: 7/16/2011

Msg: 74 (view)

If I say the word, celibacy... Posted: 7/22/2011 7:05:57 PM
I applaud your decision. I'm also celibate until I get married again. I was married for 21 years and things are very different from when I was dating 25 years ago. I have decided that not only do I want to wait, but I don't even want to get into a car with anyone who is not okay with this. So it is the very first thing I listed on my profile. If they're not okay with celibacy, then they don't even have to read past the first sentences to know to move onto someone else. This respects their time and mine. I also wouldn't want to get into a relationship and have the emotions flare up, only to find out that the no sex rule is a deal breaker.

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