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 Author Thread: Double standard on Oral?
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 726 (view)
 
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:19:05 PM
Would you bemoan the guy who goes down on you once, only to find you should have showered before hand? While hygiene should not be an issue, picking out toilet paper with your teeth should not be either.

There are good ways, and bad ways to do everything, and when one thing comes up, say lets take a shower together. Or suggest this or that, never refuse to do something, or be negative that just makes hurt feelings, and someone feel rejected.

There is no exact right, or no exact wrong, but if you are creative, appreciative, and loving each moment you share together will be closer than the next.

my 2 cents
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 104 (view)
 
WSRFR Asked a good question, Can men and women be friends 'after' having sex?
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:04:46 PM
Doesn't it depend how the relationship started or ended to see if a friendship can follow?

I mean I became friends with a woman who I wan't really attracted towards, who threw herself at me, and we did some naked play, but not sex. Afterwards when I wanted to remain friends she barely talks to me cause I rejected her in a way. So I see that friendship not lasting. However, I have many ex girl friends whom I am still friends because the relationship was a mutual split, and we ended on a good note. We were friends in the begining, and are still friends now.

The only ex girlfriends who are not friends are the ones who hurt me a lot, or were unreasonably cruel, manipulative or needy. One must decide at the time of breakup if you want to move on, or if losing that connection is positive or negative. Granted new girl friends get very jealous of old girl friends, and you will always have those things to deal. However, some people are more mature than others, and can cope with the emotional feelings in a more adult way. Everyone is different, and it is better to not beat yourself up about their inability to handle the situation, being an adult doesn't always mean people act like one. Nuff said.....
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Doesn't want sex, but only talks about sex?
Posted: 11/14/2011 6:39:29 AM
Everyone is right it is a game, and is not just reserved for young verses old. I dated a woman who did this all the time, it was like this big duality with her. She turned her head on the first date, and didn't kiss like all good catholic girls do. We dated for several months, and the theme was reoccurring talk the talk but not the walk. It was fun while it lasted, she was ultimately too immature so I had to move on.

Recently I met another woman, who is closer to my age, again the same theme she didn't want it to be about just sex, and yet her mind kept going back to that point. We talked for several weeks; we went from just friends to meeting. We met at my house, which is something I rarely do, but wanted to see if she would actually drive all that way to meet me for a change. We talked, gave her a tour of the place, watched a movie, and she asked if she could spend the night since it was a long drive home. I obliged out of courtesy, got ready the spare bedroom, only to find her molesting me half through the night. This time I refused her, told her I wasn't ready at this point in our relationship. She went back to her bed, I assumed to sleep, and when I got up she was gone. Of the few times I have seen her online, she doesn't talk to me, and if she does it is for a minute if that.

So my advice is if you like her, see how it plays out, let her play her game, and go from there. However, if you don't like games, and that is not your thing move on. I was not a psychology major, and I don't need to figure out women who do this, only know it happens a lot to me online. I don't know what the difference is between meeting someone online verses, in RL yet there is a major difference in mindset.

Games, well games are games, and women play games especially the ones who make a point to tell you they do not. Lastly, while this is a fun game, just know they like to be the ones calling all the shots, they like sex talk, or sex play on their terms, and expect you to be the man in everything that follows. As long as you do not initiate it, it is game on.

Have fun....
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 584 (view)
 
Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/28/2011 10:15:51 PM
Different strokes for different folks, you like it random, and exciting so you say with different people. Good for you, if that works do it. For myself, I prefer the emotional connection, it is not cliche, if you know what you prefer.

Have I had sex on the first date? Yes. I am not being a hypocrite either, just saying that everyone has their own preferences, and you know what works for you. Through life experiences we have found what we prefer. In my experience any kind of meaningful relationship based solely on sex or primarily sex will ultimately fail. Simply because it is not enough to connect two people no matter how great it is or isn't. No one thing can be, be it having all the same favorite foods, hobbies, or music. The fact remains that people are beautiful in the complexities, and finding what that perfect combination is or secret formula is what most people seek. This compatibility is what makes a lasting connection, in my opinion. You have your opinion, I have mine, while we may not have to agree, we can still respect each other, and go on our own merry way.

Capiche?
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/25/2011 4:58:59 AM
Hopefully you broach this subject prior to the first date, so then the apparent expectations are laid. Generally my rule has been a hug or kiss on the first date only, and you have to play it by ear cause everyone is different. Have I done more on the first date? Yes, but as a rule I try to avoid it for so many reasons I cannot go into them all now.

The cliche is 3 dates for sex, but I usually let it just happen when you both feel it is right. It may be several months, or longer for some people, and others need a commitment in order to be emotionally ready. There is no magic one size fits all rule we can use for your situation. If you both have great communication skills talk about it, you never know how you both feel about something until you ask.
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Women who play video games
Posted: 7/25/2011 4:45:43 AM
Lastly I did drop by unannounced, she is moving from one place to a new place, I stopped by to see if I could help. She invited me in to see the new place, then started to play computer games. Didn't anyone consider, that drop ins can be brief,and they can involve face to face talking?
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Women who play video games
Posted: 7/25/2011 4:38:49 AM
I have a profile cause I am looking, things have been going south for a while since she has wanted space. The age difference is no big deal cause we have been friends for years, just never dated. There is a lot of background, and facts I left out for a reason, but there again everyone should know this.

I wanted a woman's point of view about video games, and why I asked.

Whether it is video games, or texting, or any other number of things that people seem to get immersed, they all are rude. Please stick to the main question, and not get side tracked on the few background details which are only stated for clarification.
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Women who play video games
Posted: 7/25/2011 3:45:31 AM
There are tons of threads of guys who play, but few if any of women who do. I have a gf who I seem to compete with her online roleplaying games. Good example, I came over to her house the other night, first thing she did was fire up the video game, and proceeded to play, and ignore me the whole time. I pretended to seem interested, and asked lots of questions about the game, but mostly I was trying to keep the silence to a minimum.

Granted I stopped by unannounced, but at first she seemed welcome to my presence, but then proceeded to ignore me for the game for the next hour. I finally said I was tired, and left. I haven't spoken to her since, I figure if she wants me she will call otherwise I will find other ways or other women to entertain myself.

BTW, she is 37, and I am 47 if that helps any.
 
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