3 words you don't want to hear during sex chat & forums.

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sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 244 (view)

3 words you don't want to hear during sex Posted: 6/10/2009 8:15:33 AM
"I don't swallow!"..... "don't bite it!"...... "are those warts?"..... "could be gangrene!"..... "p*ssy smells rancid!"..... "you like headcheese?"..... "into water sports?"...... "I'm feeling nauseous!"..... "foreskin tastes cheesy!"..... "I'm gonna spew!"...... "could be vaginitis!".... "Suck! Don't blow!"...... "menses just arrived!".... "ever consider enlargement?"..... "can Grandma watch?"..... "harder Mr. Softee!".....

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Nair Posted: 6/9/2009 8:20:02 AM
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the vet. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some 'Nair' hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. The lady went to the drug store and got some 'Nair' hair remover. At the register the druggist told her, 'If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days.' The lady said, 'I'm not using it under my arms.' The druggist said. 'If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days.' The lady said, 'I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer.' The druggist said, 'Stay off your bicycle for a week.'

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

3-year old logic.... Posted: 5/28/2009 4:29:49 PM
A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS GRIPPING ON TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITTING HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR AWHILE." BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE 'POOP YET." MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?" BILLY SAYS: " IT WORKS FOR KETCHUP! "

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Foreign Cars Posted: 4/29/2009 2:31:54 PM
The horny housewife went to the grocery store and notices a hunk of a bag boy. She goes through the aisles, puts groceries in her basket, and then goes to the cashier that has the hunk of a bag boy bagging groceries. The woman pays for her groceries and waits for the hunk of a bag boy to bag her groceries. He asks her if she would like to have him help her load the groceries into her car? She readily agrees. The horny housewife seductively whispers in the hunk of a bag boy's ear "I have an itching cooter." The hunk of a bag boy answers, "Maam, you'll have to point it out to me, ya know, all those foreign cars look the same to me."

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

MEN - really are from Mars!..... Posted: 2/16/2009 3:39:19 PM
MEN - Really are from Mars ........ One night, a woman said to her boyfriend, 'I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table." So, he climbed into bed and very slowly and politely said: ' Honey, would you please pass me the pu$$y?

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Spelling is Important!.... Posted: 1/28/2009 3:18:51 PM
PLEASE TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT SPELLING IS IMPORTANT!!! The following is a letter written by a 3rd grader: Sticker Story..............Hores I like hores. Hores have other hores frinds. Hore like carots. You wouldn't think they coud, but they can put thir legs strait up. Hores make you feel good. My dad wants a hores but my mom says no. When I am 16 or 20 I will buy my own hores. Spelling Is Important!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

If Men & Women Swapped Genitals.... Posted: 1/5/2009 3:48:49 PM
If Men And Women Swapped Genitals" Part I Top 10 things men would do if they woke up and had a vag-#na for a day: 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do the splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes... BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orga-sms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too... And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vag-#na... 1. Finally find that damned G-spot. ==================================================== "If Men And Women Swapped Genitals" Part II Top 10 things women would do if they woke up and had a pe-n#s for a day: 10. Get ahead faster in corporate America. 9. Get a BJ. 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat. 7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal. 6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently. 5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orga-sm. 4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem. 3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks. 2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement. And, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up with a pen-#s... 1. Repeat number 9. ===================================================

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Reindeer Facts Posted: 12/18/2008 9:14:59 AM
REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME... According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

One-wish Genie.... Posted: 4/26/2008 11:40:14 AM
One to make you laugh!!! A woman was walking along the beach when shestumbled upon a bottle.She picked it up and rubbed it,and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed womanasked if she got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope, sorry three-wish genies area story-tale myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'llit be?" The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "! I want peacein the Middle East. See this map? I want thesecountries to stop fighting with each other and I wantall the Arabs to love Jews and Americans andvice-versa. It will bring about world peace andharmony." The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, bereasonable. These countries have been at war forthousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in abottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THATgood! I don't think it can be done. Make another wishand please be reasonable." The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I'venever been able to find the right man. You know, onethat's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helpswith the house cleaning, is great in bed and getsalong with my family, doesn't watch sports all thetime, and is faithful. That's what I wish for .. agood man." The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head andsaid, "Let me see that f#ckin' map again."

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Send me jokes! PLEASE! Posted: 4/2/2008 9:15:40 AM
Just want to wish you successful surgery, then lifelong happiness, laughter, and good health!....... A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's your occupation?" "I'm a Lady of the night," she says. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". "No, that still won't work. Try again." They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?" "Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year." "Chicken Farmer it is."

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Actual Court Case? Posted: 3/13/2008 8:29:50 AM
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET12659--- A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick," and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it." "CASE DISMISSED!!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Sex on Mars..... Posted: 1/6/2008 9:09:48 AM
The year is 2222 and after accumulating enough frequent flier miles, Mike and Maureen land on Mars. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick. "I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen. ''Why?" he asks, "What' s the matter?" "Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!" "No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long. "Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it looks like a long pencil, it's still pretty narrow...." ' ''No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was damn good. How about you?" "It was horrible," he replies. "All I got was a headache. She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Hotel Astor...... Posted: 12/1/2007 4:54:32 PM
The Hotel Astor hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all trains at the Penn Station and announce in a loud voice, "FREE BUS TO THE HOTEL ASTOR." Enroute to the station he kept repeating to himself, "Free bus to the Hotel Astor". Upon arriving at the station he became nervous and confused and started yelling....."FREE AS AT THE HOTEL BUSTER, I mean, FREE HOTEL AT BUST YOUR ASTOR, I mean, FREEZE YOUR AS AT THE HOTEL BSTARD, I mean, BUST YOUR AS AT THE HOTEL FREEZER, FREE HOTEL.......AS BUSTER.........I mean, AW, FCK IT, KISS MY AS YOU BSTARDS AND TAKE A STREET CAR.......I QUIT!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Christmas Carols For The Disturbed...... Posted: 11/29/2007 11:56:21 AM
Schizophrenia --- DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? Multiple Personality Disorder --- WE THREE QUEENS DISORIENTED ARE Dementia --- I THINK I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS Narcissistic --- HARK, THE HERALD ANGELS SING ABOUT ME Manic --- DECK THE HALLS AND WALLS AND HOUSE AND LAWN AND STREETS AND STORES AND OFFICE AND TOWN AND CARS AND BUSES AND TRUCKS ! AND TREES AND FIRE HYDRANTS AND...... Paranoid --- SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO GET ME Borderline Personality Disorder --- THOUGHTS OF ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE Personality Disorder --- YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, I'M GONNA CRY, I'M GONNA POUT, MAYBE I'LL TELL YOU WHY Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS...

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Problem occurrence after hooking up a microphone..... Posted: 11/19/2007 9:04:11 AM
Thanks to all of you for your advice!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Problem occurrence after hooking up a microphone..... Posted: 11/15/2007 4:27:58 PM
Would anyone have any idea what may have happened to cause the following problem and what needs to be done to resolve it? I have a HP 864 Media Center computer. I purchased a microphone to use on the computer. The microphone is a General Electric PC Microphone detached laptop mic ( 98950 ). The computer was turned on and working normally until the microphone was plugged in. At that point the screen immediately went black and got white zig-zag vertical lines across the screen. The homepage with icons on it has disappeared and I'm unable to restore it. Would anyone know what happened from my explanation and what needs to be done to resolve the problem? Could there have been a compatibilty problem between the computer and the microphone? Is it a problem that will require a technician needing to correct it? Thanks to anyone who thinks they have an answer to resolve it!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

After the rain..... Posted: 10/30/2007 11:40:18 AM
After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping the mother runs to the yard in a panic. "Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?" she says as she shook the older boy in anger. "We wer e playing 'church' mommy," he said. "And I was just baptizing him...in the name of the Father, the Son and...in the hole-he-goes."

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Italian Divorce Court.... Posted: 10/1/2007 11:56:40 AM
ITALIAN DIVORCE COURT Angelina and Giuseppi were standing before the judge In divorce court. Angelina says: "Your honor, we beena marry 25 years Ana Giuseppi he always picka his nose Ana when we maka love He a never letsa me on topa. I justa canna taka dis nomore." The judge listens solemnly And then addresses Giuseppi. "Giuseppi, is disa true ? You always a picka your nose And you never let Angelina on top?? What have you gotta say for a yourself?" Giuseppi says, "Well your honor, itsa true. I picka my nose a lot and, yeah, Angelina, I tella her she'sa gotta be onna DA bottom. Itsa all go's aback to when I'mma a younga boy. My poppa, he's a very smarta man. I always do ev'ryting he'sa say. My poppa one day he says, "Giuseppi, I gotta tella you DA two main secrets Ofa hava successful life: Number one, You always keepa your nose clean. Ana number two, You never screw up."

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Female Comebacks..... Posted: 9/21/2007 8:52:37 AM
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together OK ladies......have a field day adding more comebacks and comments to the list!.....lol

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Little Rosie..... Posted: 9/18/2007 12:37:59 PM
Little Rosie came home from school and with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Rosie went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut. " Relaxing with a hidden smile, Rosie's Mum asked, "Really small was it?" Rosie replied, "No... salty!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Redneck Love Poem..... Posted: 9/2/2007 6:59:39 PM
REDNECK LOVE POEM SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE; SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO. PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER. I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER. SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL, BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, "THERE'S TROUBLE STILL. YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YO' MOTHER, BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO' I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER. BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY. MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE. YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Hung over man at breakfast..... Posted: 8/28/2007 5:45:42 AM
A man gets up hung over one morning to find his wife in the kitchen at the stove. He looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one of his socks in the frying pan. "What are you doing?" he asks. "I'm doing what you asked me to do when you came to bed last night, very drunk," she replied. Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, "I don't remember asking her to cook my sock...

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Brothel..... Posted: 8/27/2007 4:36:54 PM
THE BROTHEL The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," he replied. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row -- too expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie questioned the man "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked. The man replied, " South Carolina " "Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina " "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's Attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance." The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain: 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Being screwed by a lawyer.

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Karen & Irvin..... Posted: 8/4/2007 2:48:30 PM
The beautiful Karen knew that Irvin had relatively little experience as a lover and she was surprised when he parked the car in a dark and romantic spot, then swept her into a passionate embrace. After several minutes filled with kisses, he drew back rather proudly, and asked, "How was that?" "You know, Irvin," she confided, "you're the first man I've met whose kisses make me sit up and open my eyes." "Really?" he said, quite obviously pleased. "Yes," she admitted. "Usually they have the opposite effect!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Three Nuns...... Posted: 8/2/2007 5:22:16 AM
Three nuns go up to Heaven. St. Peter meets them at the gates, just like he meets all these other ***holes in his jokes! They're all standing in line waiting for him to tell the joke! St. Peter says, "All right, I'm going to ask each of you one question. If you get it right, the bell will ring and you may pass through the pearly gates. The first sister steps forward and St. Peter says, "Ok, sister, name the ten commandments." She names them correctly, hears the bell....ding, ding, ding.....St. Peter says, "Fine.You may enter." The second nun is asked to name the twelve Apostles. She does so, hears the bell.....ding, ding, ding....... and she is allowed to enter. The third nun steps forward and St. Peter says, "all right sister, tell me what Eve said to Adam the first time they met in the Garden of Eden?" The nun paused and stood there pondering the question. After a minute of thinking, she says, "Wow, that's a hard one!......ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Internet Explorer Script Error..... Posted: 8/1/2007 3:05:16 PM
thank you veevee....I appreciate your help!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Internet Explorer Script Error..... Posted: 8/1/2007 7:00:22 AM
Hoping someone can inform me of how to correct and eliminate a problem I'm constantly having as of late. Whenever I log on to my homepage, and at times when I click to open certain e-mails, I receive a pop-up box that reads: Internet Explorer Script Error with info about the error and a message that asks, "Do you want to continue running scripts on this page? Yes or No?" I always respond no, but it does nothing to stop the message from reappearing. Has anyone had this problem and can you tell me how I can stop this from occurring? I also suspect that this problem may be the reason I'm unable to defrag my computer, but I'm just guessing. Thank you in advance to anyone who can help me!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Drunk..... Posted: 7/19/2007 4:56:24 AM
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and says.."Can I help you sir"? "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it"? "It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's manhood hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself "? Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out.......... "Holy sh*! My girlfriend's gone too!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 22 (view)

In Your Pants ... revisited Posted: 7/18/2007 4:28:51 PM
more additions to the "in my pants" game.....classic oldies from the 1930's, 40's & 50's.... 1930's titles..... Singin' The Blues......in my pants! The Party's Over Now......in my pants! Everything I Have Is Yours......in my pants! ( with the exception of my American Express Gold card, of course! ) The Touch Of Your Hand.......in my pants! Keep On Doin' What Your Doin'.....in my pants! Blow, Gabriel, Blow........in my pants! I Got Plenty O' Nuttin.......in my pants! They Can't Take That Away From Me......in my pants! ( don't tell Lorena Bobbitt that! ) Snake Charmer........in my pants! The Very Thought Of You........in my pants! 1940's titles..... Careless.........in my pants! ( oops! thought it was just a fart didn't ya? ) I Hear A Rhapsody......in my pants! ( more like the sound of you breaking wind! ) There'll Be Some Changes Made........in my pants! ( talkin' bout your underwear or a sex change?! ) This Is No Laughing Matter........in my pants! ( I sympathize with you! ) Woody Woodpecker..........in my pants! ( OUCH! ) I Love You So Much It Hurts......in my pants! ( and now I'm taking penicillin for it! ) It's You Or No One......in my pants! ( how many times has anyone heard this line from their significant other?! ) 1950's titles...... Jan & Dean The Little Old Lady ( From Pasedena ) .....in my pants! ( litlle ol' ladies need lovin too! ) Gene McDaniels Tower Of Strength......in my pants! Patience & Prudence Gonna Get Along Without You Now.....in my pants! Fats Domino Whole Lotta Loving........in my pants! Ricky Nelson Just A Little Too Much......in my pants! ( how many ladies really think that's a problem? )

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Two Priests...... Posted: 7/13/2007 7:54:20 AM
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look" says the first nun, "its a soap dispenser". To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood....sure enough he drops the second bar of soap. The third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several More tugs, then yells! "Mary, Mother of God - Hand Lotion too!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Olympic Wrestling Competition...... Posted: 7/10/2007 5:09:35 AM
The Americans were wrestling the Russians in Olympic competition. The match was deadlocked going into the heavyweight contest. However; the Russian was undefeated and had never lost a match before in his life. In fact, he always got his opponents in his famous "pretzel" hold and no one ever came close to beating him. Well, thirty seconds into the match the Russian got the American in the "pretzel" hold and the coach couldn't even bear to watch. Instead, he turned and walked away from the mat, not wanting to see what he thought was inevitably going to happen. Suddenly, there was a tremendous roar from the crowd and the coach looked back and saw the referee raising the Americans hand in victory. The coach rushed back, hugged his wrestler and said, "How'd you do it? How'd you beat him?" The kid said, "Well coach, I just saw these two big balls dangling in my face and I just sunk my teeth into them, You know coach, you'd be surprised what you can do when you bite yourself in the balls!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Little kid with a lisp...... Posted: 7/9/2007 11:09:42 AM
This little boy talked with a distinct, funny sounding lisp. One day he decided to ask his mother, "Mommy, why do I talk like this?" His mother said, "I don't know honey, why don't you ask your father?" He decides to do just that. He asks his father, "Dad, why do I talk like this?" His father says, "I don't really know son. Did you ask your mother?" Not getting an answer from either of his parents, he decides to ask his school teacher. "Teacher, why do I talk like this?" He poses the same question to a policeman, a fireman and the local grocery man. No one can give him a definitive answer to his question. Finally, he's dejectedly walking down the street one day when he sees the mailman delivering mail. The kid decides to ask the mailman and with a pronounced lisp asks, "Mr. Postman, why do I talk like this?" and the mailman, in an annoyed manner and with the same unquestionable lisp shouts, "HOW THE F*CK DO I KNOW!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1081 (view)

"Under The Sheets"..... Posted: 7/7/2007 4:42:45 AM
Ok.......so use a song, movie or book title to begin with and end the sentence with "under the sheets"! Have fun with it! Bobby Vee Take Good Care Of My Baby....................under the sheets! ( anything she desires! ) Don McLean American Pie..............under the sheets! ( and oh how I love eating warm pie! :0) ) Will Smith Gettin' Jiggy Wit It.................under the sheets! ( sounds kinky to me! ) The Four Lads Moments To Remember................under the sheets! Journey Open Arms..................under the sheets! ( and open legs too, of course! ) The Byrds Turn! Turn! Turn!..............under the sheets! ( why I didn't know you knew so many different positions! ) Lisa, Lisa & Cult Jam Head To Toe...................under the sheets! ( my favorite position to be in! and/ is how I will cover you in kisses! ) Mary J. Blige Family Affair................under the sheets! ( sort of like incest is best or the more the merrier, I guess! ) Shaggy f/Ricardo "RikRok" Ducent It Wasn't Me..................under the sheets! ( ok.......then who the hell was it? ) Bobby Brown Humpin' Around.................under the sheets! Bell Biv DeVoe Do Me!........................under the sheets! The Fixx One Thing Leads To Another...............under the sheets! ( and isn't it so much fun! ) 10cc The Things We Do For Love...................under the sheets! Bon Jovi Lay Your Hands On Me.....................under the sheets! Frankie Valli I Make A Fool Of Myself..........under the sheets! ( you're not the only one Frankie, so do I! ) Herman's Hermits I'm Into Something Good..............under the sheets! ( I'm sure you are you lucky b*stard! ) The Animals Don't Bring Me Down................under the sheets! ( the idea is to keep me UP! )

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Cowpoke...... Posted: 7/7/2007 4:21:37 AM
A Texas cowboy walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The elderly woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist. She said that she and her widowed elderly sister owned the store and that there were no males employed there. She then asked if she could help him with anything in particular. The cowpoke said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a man.The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could do so with her and be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism. The old bronco-buster agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it?" "The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister." When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, free room & board, and $3,000 a month plus living expenses."

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Conversation among STD's....... Posted: 7/6/2007 4:13:46 AM
There were four sexually transmitted germs hanging around and talking one morning inside this promiscuous womans body. One of the germs pointed out that every night at precisely 5 o'clock, the woman would always have sex and it would always be with a different guy. The woman had developed a case of the clap and was taking penicillin as a cure. So, the germs were aware of the situation and were discussing their fate against the penicillin vaccine. The first germ said, "I'm going to hide in her liver. The penicillin will never find me in there." The second germ said, "I'm going to hide in her lungs. I don't see how I could possibly be found in there." The third germ said, "I'll hide in her brain. I doubt that penicillin gets into the brain!" Finally, the fourth germ said, "Aww, you guys are all full of sh*t! I'll tell you something. When that 5 o'clock pulls out of here tonight.........I'm gonna be on it!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Towel...... Posted: 7/5/2007 7:15:30 AM
A middle-aged Jewish couple were having difficulties in the bedroom. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decided to consult their Rabbi. The Rabbi listened to their story, stroked his beard, and made the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm." They went home and followed the Rabbi's advice. They hired a handsome young man and he waved a towel over them as they made love. It didn't help and the wife was still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they went back to the Rabbi. "Okay," he said to the husband, "try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they followed the Rabbi's advice. They went home and hired the same strapping young man. The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man got to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon had an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm. The husband smiled, looked at the young man and said to him triumphantly, "See.. you young schmuck??? THAT's how you wave a towel!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Homer & Daisy...... Posted: 7/4/2007 4:44:07 AM
A young farm couple, Homer and Daisy, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem was their nooner: it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do. "Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the fields with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Daisy's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time." They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while until one day when Homer came back to the doctor's office. "What's wrong?" asked the Doc. "Didn't my idea work?" "Oh, it worked good," said Homer. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Daisy'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home agin." "Good, Homer. So what's t he problem?" asked the Doc. "Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain't seen her since huntin' season started!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Mother/Daughter Three-some..... Posted: 6/30/2007 7:00:04 AM
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked okay for a 57-year-old. We drank a bit, and a had a bit of a snoggle and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double. "What's that?" I asked. "It a mother and daughter threesome," she said. I said, "No." We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night. I went back to her place. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

In Your Pants ... revisited Posted: 6/28/2007 12:24:11 PM
how about a few more just for sh*ts & grins........ The Supremes My World Is Empty Without You..............in my pants! The Temptations The Way You Do The Things You Do...............in my pants! It's Growing........................in my pants! The Jacksons Enjoy Yourself.................in my pants! Michael Bolton Missing You Now..................in my pants! Three Dog Night Eli's Coming.................in my pants! Elvis Presley A Big Hunk O'Love...................in my pants! Peggy Lee Is That All There Is.................in my pants! Donnie Osmond Soldier Of Love.....................in my pants! Simon & Garfunkel I Am A Rock................in my pants! Sonny & Cher All I Ever Need Is You.................in my pants! Whitney Houston I Have Nothing....................in my pants!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

BACKWARDS....... Posted: 6/10/2007 5:15:04 AM
I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for college & high school: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then... You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then.. You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

In Your Pants ... revisited Posted: 6/9/2007 12:03:13 PM
Mike & The Mechanics' All I Need Is A Miracle................in my pants! Stevie Wonder Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing................in my pants! Bryan Adams Can't Stop This Thing We Started...............in my pants! Carpenters I Won't Last A Day Without You..............in my pants! Daryl Hall & John Oates Maneater.................in my pants! Did It In A Minute.................in my pants! REO Speedwagon Can't Fight This Feeling..............in my pants! Babyface When Can I See You.................in my pants! Michael Jackson Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough...................in my pants! Cheap Trick The Flame....................in my pants! Jackson Five I Want You Back..............in my pants! Chicago Baby, What A Big Surprise..................in my pants! Glenn Frey The Heat Is On.................in my pants! Marvin Gaye Let's Get It On................in my pants! Sexual Healing.............in my pants! What's Going On............in my pants! Pride and Joy...............in my pants!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1183 (view)

"In My Pants"......revisited........ Posted: 6/8/2007 8:21:51 AM
Author Thread: In Your Pants ... revisited Track this thread en garde Joined: 11/5/2005 Msg: 1 view profile History In Your Pants ... revisited Posted: 6/7/2007 301 PM Okay, so this was new to me, and I went a little crazy. Sheesh, the Beatles alone crack me up with the possibilities. Love Me Do ... in my pants I Want To Hold Your Hand ... in my pants A Hard Day's Night ... in my pants You've Got To Hide Your Love Away ... in my pants Ticket to Ride ... in my pants We Can Work It Out ... in my pants All You Need is Love ... in my pants Get Back ... in my pants (for the broken relationships) Don't Let Me Down ... in my pants Come Together ... in my pants And I Love Her ... in my pants Gonna get worse before it gets better if this isn't deleted. sportyd Joined: 12/12/2006 Msg: 2 view profile History Edit Post In Your Pants ... revisited Posted: 6/8/2007 807 AM well, seems it's guaranteed to get worse if I add to the post.....lol.....and I thought people who visit this thread are suppose to have a sense of humor.....hopefully some people will get a few laughs for as long as it can stick around!........ Sandy Posey What A Woman In Love Won't Do...........in my pants! Terry Knight & The Pack I Who Have Nothing...........in my pants! Trini Lopez Puff ( The Magic Dragon )..........in my pants! Gloria Estefan Love Toy...........in my pants! I Want You So Bad..........in my pants! Olivia Newton-John You're The One That I Want.........in my pants! Bread Baby, I'm A Want You...........in my pants! The Association Happiness Is.............in my pants! America I Need You............in my pants! Pat Benatar Hit Me With Your Best Shot............in my pants! Kenny Rogers Something's Burning.............in my pants! Martha & The Vandella's Love Is Like A Heat Wave...........in my pants! Beach Boys I'd Love Just Once To See You..........in my pants! How She Boogalooed It.............in my pants! Cat Stevens Can't Keep It In.............in my pants! The Grassroots Where Were You When I Needed You...........in my pants! James Taylor You've Got A Friend............in my pants! The Supremes You've Really Got A Hold On Me.............in my pants! The Bellamy Brothers You Ain't Just Whistlin' Dixie............in my pants! Tom T. Hall Sneaky Snake.............in my pants! B.J. Thomas Hooked On A Feeling............in my pants! Charlie Rich The Most Beautiful Girl..........in my pants! Vicki Carr Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You............in my pants! It Must Be Him..................in my pants! Tanya Tucker You've Got Me To Hold On To............in my pants! Makin' Love Don't Always Make Love Grow...............in my pants! After The Thrill Is Gone................in my pants! Anne Murray You Won't See Me................in my pants! Frank Sinatra It Gets Lonely Early.............in my pants! Coasters Poison Ivy..............in my pants! Sam The Sham Wooly Bully..............in my pants! Last BUTT not least! Shine On Harvest Moon............in my pants!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

In Your Pants ... revisited Posted: 6/8/2007 8:18:07 AM
well, seems it's guaranteed to get worse if I add to the post.....lol.....and I thought people who visit this thread are suppose to have a sense of humor.....hopefully some people will get a few laughs for as long as it can stick around!........ Sandy Posey What A Woman In Love Won't Do...........in my pants! Terry Knight & The Pack I Who Have Nothing...........in my pants! Trini Lopez Puff ( The Magic Dragon )..........in my pants! Gloria Estefan Love Toy...........in my pants! I Want You So Bad..........in my pants! Olivia Newton-John You're The One That I Want.........in my pants! Bread Baby, I'm A Want You...........in my pants! The Association Happiness Is.............in my pants! America I Need You............in my pants! Pat Benatar Hit Me With Your Best Shot............in my pants! Kenny Rogers Something's Burning.............in my pants! Martha & The Vandella's Love Is Like A Heat Wave...........in my pants! Beach Boys I'd Love Just Once To See You..........in my pants! How She Boogalooed It.............in my pants! Cat Stevens Can't Keep It In.............in my pants! The Grassroots Where Were You When I Needed You...........in my pants! James Taylor You've Got A Friend............in my pants! The Supremes You've Really Got A Hold On Me.............in my pants! The Bellamy Brothers You Ain't Just Whistlin' Dixie............in my pants! Tom T. Hall Sneaky Snake.............in my pants! B.J. Thomas Hooked On A Feeling............in my pants! Charlie Rich The Most Beautiful Girl..........in my pants! Vicki Carr Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You............in my pants! It Must Be Him..................in my pants! Tanya Tucker You've Got Me To Hold On To............in my pants! Makin' Love Don't Always Make Love Grow...............in my pants! After The Thrill Is Gone................in my pants! Anne Murray You Won't See Me................in my pants! Frank Sinatra It Gets Lonely Early.............in my pants! Coasters Poison Ivy..............in my pants! Sam The Sham Wooly Bully..............in my pants! Last BUTT not least! Shine On Harvest Moon............in my pants!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Mafia members son...... Posted: 6/8/2007 5:00:27 AM
A young man, the son of a Mafia member, graduates from college. He has given hints to his family that he would like a gold watch and chain as a graduation gift. At home, after the graduation, his father presents him with a box. He unwraps and opens the box and finds a gun in it. He says to his father, "Hey dad, you know I was hoping for a gold watch for my graduation. Why did you give me a gun?" His father says, "Well, you see son, now that you've graduated college, you're going to go out and get a good job, then you'll get married, buy a big house with nice furniture, you'll have expensive cars and have nice children. Then, after you've been married for about fifteen years, one day you'll come home from work and find your wife in bed with another man. And what are you gonna do? Take out your gold watch and say, Hey buddy, your time is up!?"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1176 (view)

"In My Pants" Game...... Posted: 6/7/2007 12:33:26 PM
Author Thread: "In My Pants" Game BleedingRain Joined: 5/21/2007 Msg: 1 view profile History "In My Pants" Game Posted: 6/6/2007 9:05:07 PM So I think most people have likely played this game before. I think it's a pretty amusing way to pass time while you're bored. How it's played: Write the title of whatever song you're listening to, and after that, add the phrase "in my pants". Some times it ends up being rather amusing. Shall I start? Before The Goodbye...in my pants. storm300x Joined: 5/31/2007 Msg: 2 view profile History In My Pants Game Posted: 6/7/2007 128 AM im lost without you.... in my pants now was funny thats is what happens when you are listening to R&B SlyKnight Joined: 1/21/2007 Msg: 3 view profile History In My Pants Game Posted: 6/7/2007 433 AM Second Great Depression... in my pants. ~Anicca~ Joined: 5/17/2007 Msg: 4 view profile History In My Pants Game Posted: 6/7/2007 444 AM Ticks...in my pants sportyd Joined: 12/12/2006 Msg: 5 view profile History In My Pants Game Posted: 6/7/2007 609 AM John Lennon......Double Fantasy album Cleanup Time.......in my pants! Hard Times Are Over......in my pants! Foreigner...... I Need You......in my pants! Waiting For A Girl Like You.....in my pants! Don't Let Go......in my pants! Bachman, Turner Overdrive...... You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet......in my pants! Second Hand.....in my pants! Givin' It All Away......in my pants! Blown........in my pants! Takin' Care of Business......in my pants! Don't Get Yourself in Trouble.....in my pants! Thank You For The Feelin'......in my pants! Hold Back the Water.......in my pants! Blood, Sweat & Tears...... My Days Are Numbered......in my pants! Somethin' Goin On.......in my pants! The Doors........ Light My Fire.....in my pants! Take It As It Comes.......in my pants! Cream........Disraeli Gears album Blue Condition......in my pants! Crystal Gayle....... I Still Miss Someone.........in my pants! Lee Greenwood Think About The GoodTimes.......in my pants! Skylark What Would I Do Without You.......in my pants! Styx I'm Gonna Make You Feel It.......in my pants! Three Dog Night Easy To Be Hard......in my pants! Pablo Cruise I Want You Tonight......in my pants! Elton John...... Dirty Little Girl.........in my pants! Social Disease.......in my pants! Jamaica Jerk-Off.......in my pants! The **** Is Back......in my pants! Air Supply Making Love Out Of Nothing At All.......in my pants! Every Woman In The World......in my pants! Bee Gees You Know It's For You.......in my pants! Tragedy........in my pants!

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The Attractive Secretary...... Posted: 6/6/2007 7:00:17 PM
When the attractive secretary failed to appear at work for the third straight day, her supervisor telephoned her and demanded an explanation. "I'm very sorry, but I won't be in today," she sighed. "Well," he said, "you must not be very happy in your present position". "On the contrary," she panted. "I'm very happy. That's why I'm not coming to work!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

82nd Army Airborne...... Posted: 6/5/2007 8:50:28 PM
This Polish guy joins the 82nd Army Airborne to learn to be a paratrooper. So, he goes through weeks of intense training learning to jump, hit and roll. Finally, it comes time for the real test.....Graduation Day!......the jump that counts! Twenty guys go up in the plane and everyone is real nervous and scared. The drill sargeant tries to calm and reassure everyone, and he instructs them on what to do one last time. The sargeant said, "When the buzzer sounds and the green light goes on, everybody stand up and form a line at the door. When I say jump, you jump......count 1, 2, 3....pull the rip chord. When you get down there, there will be a jeep waiting to take you back to the barracks!" The buzzer sounds, everybody forms a line and begins jumping. When it is the Polish guys turn, he jumps....counts 1,2,3, .......pulls the ripchord, looks up and nothing happens....he's plumpeting to the ground and yells out in disgust......."why that f#*king liar! .....I bet the jeep ain't down there either!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

The phone booth..... Posted: 5/9/2007 6:40:19 AM
A drunk was staggering down the street and felt the urge to relieve himself. He came upon an empty phone booth, tottered into it and sank to the floor. He pulled down his pants, took a dump on the floor, and when he finished, he raised from a squatting position, struck his head against the dangling receiver and heard an angry operator's voice saying, "twenty-five cents please........twenty-five cents please........please deposit another twenty-five cents for the past three minutes!"......the drunk picked up the phone and yelled into it, "screw you lady.....you don't even furnish toilet paper!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Date at a carnival...... Posted: 5/2/2007 5:27:07 AM
A young man takes a beautiful young woman out for a date at the county fair. They ride the rides all afternoon. After they finish the last ride, he asks her what she would like to do next. She smiles coyly at him and said "Get Weighed". The young man takes her over to the "Guess Your Weight" booth and they play. When they are done, he asks her what she wants to do now. She gives him a strange look and says "Get Weighed!" The young man think this is strange, but wanting to show her a good time, complies. This pattern repeats itself several more times, until the young man finally begins to question the woman's sanity, so he drives her home and drops her off. The young lady walks into her house, and her mother asks her how her date at the country fair went. "It was WOUSEY!!!!"

sportyd

Joined: 12/12/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

WHAT'S YOUR BEST LAWYER JOKE??? Posted: 4/27/2007 6:42:44 AM
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. * * * How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney. * * * How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. * * * How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories. * * * How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? * * * How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company. * * * If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper? * * * What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet. * * * What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. * * * What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor. * * * What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners. * * * What does a lawyer use for birth-control? His personality. * * * What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. * * * What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. * * * Why does California have the most lawyers in the country and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites? New Jersey got first choice.

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