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Thread: Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 172 (view)

Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet? Posted: 3/14/2008 5:39:55 PM
Agreed! Meeting sooner rather than later is about the best way to go in my opinion... What's the point in spending lots of time emailing/texting only come to find out that there is no connection once you meet.

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 109 (view)

Ditched during the date Posted: 3/14/2008 5:34:21 PM
Hang in there brother...The connection/sparks must not have been mutual. One thing to consider is that some girls want you to move faster than that...maybe she was one of them.

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 375 (view)

How long should good sex last? Posted: 4/16/2007 6:08:11 PM
chickycheeka wrote: lol. omg. hahaha. how long is good sex supposed to last? are you serious.. you want a time? um.. 2 hours.. 42 minutes and 14 seconds. Not quite right.... sometimes it's 2 hours, sometimes it's 42 minutes.......and sometimes it's 14 seconds,,,, well maybe when I was in my teens anyway!!!!! --- But it was still good!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

dating with constant profile changes? Posted: 4/16/2007 5:56:27 PM
Seems to me that when two people find a connection that they should back away from the site a little while they explore it. Maybe even a little temporary disclamer in your profile that indicates that you aren't actively looking for the time being. I for instance have met people from here on a couple of occasions and that's what I did...only came around for the forums really. It gets a little distracting trying to be polite and respond to messages from new contacts while I am already exploring an interesting one. It also sends a proper message to the one you are interested in. Besides I think it is kind of rude to just ignore people. You can always remove the disclaimer if things fizzle out or if you two choose the route of more casual dating... My opinion on your situation though, is that it may not have been the guys' original intention... but you are probably now getting played.

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 61 (view)

would you date a person that used foul language all the time? Posted: 4/1/2007 4:32:20 PM
Nope not a chance...I also find it rather annoying they way some young women talk like a rap song if you know what I mean (pimpin this, biiatch that, ho you know)! I like women that know how to speak english...I shouldn't have to have a Ghettonary (Ghetto+Dictionary) handy in order to interpret what someone is saying! And I even listen to the hip hop fomr time to time..LOL Piece out biatchh!!!!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Why do women go for the opposite of what they say they're looking for? Posted: 4/1/2007 4:03:14 PM
An age old question....But I agree, it seems many do in fact fall for the opposite of what they think they want.

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

All she wants to do is watch porn,have sex ,watch sports and drink beer Posted: 3/23/2007 5:36:43 PM
Sounds like every guys dream!!! This has to be a joke right....ROFLMAO

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 102 (view)

Where would you rather have sex in a public place or in the bedroom Posted: 3/23/2007 5:32:47 PM
Bedroom sex is great but you have to spice it up every now then ..........agree? I agree... with the right person it's awesome anywhere! Keep it spicy!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 77 (view)

how do i have a real orgasam? Posted: 3/23/2007 5:06:18 PM
If this post isn't a joke, I think you ought to slow down and quite spreading yourself so thin... It's about quality not quantity. Find a guy that you can connect deeply with and learn to relax and trust him! Someone with experience should have no problems bringing you to a state of high arousal and leaving quivering and pulsating soon to be longing for more... If ya know what I mean!!! Remember a guy doesn't give you an orgasm, you do! He just helps you along the way and adds intensity.

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 161 (view)

WHY R OLDER GUYS SO SEXY???????? Posted: 3/23/2007 4:59:05 PM
Probably because you know that we know that you know that we can really take care of ya in the bedroom, on the dance floor and every other place that matters! Young guys just don't have the experience! And, most of us have outgrown the player days and the I gotta have every woman I see attitude... A lot of women are attracted to confidence and stability...

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 107 (view)

Biting??? Posted: 3/23/2007 4:49:07 PM
Thanks for reminding me!!! I haven't done this in like forever...time to do some more chomping!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Latest thoughts... Posted: 2/13/2007 7:43:20 PM
Way too long still! And to me your profile is just too "out there". You seem to be way too educated/analytical/rational/logical/cold! I am not jabbing at you as I spent a great deal of my life (too much in fact!) unbalanced in those paradigms as well. Remember as a generalization, women are not this way. They are primarily driven by warmth and emotion. Most also love some humor... find something funny, goofy, light-hearted to say. Something that demonstrates personality. In other words don't make it all too serious! You're not just an animal seeking a breeding partner are you? There has to be more to it than that if you are going to interest/attract women! In a good relationship, the woman will naturally bend some to connect with you on the aspects of your male psychie, but she also needs to know that you can do the same for her... You haven't demonstrated that you will or that you even know how! You are not working on a science project here, your approach to this will have to be way different than anything you have ever tried in your life! It's also time for superlatives, inuendo and.... (dammit! I can't find that other word I'm looking for)! It wouldn't hurt you to take an honest look at your persona and do some development! It's a long slow process, but what worthwhile things in life aren't! You need to learn how to relate and connect with some of the aspects of the female psychie (spelling?)... You need to come across as warm, intriguing, fun and as someone else stated earlier, a bit mysterious (at least some of them anyway)! Don't spell out everything so precisely, be a bit vague... Leave room for curiosity and misinterpretation! Yes, I know, your a guy and a scientist to boot...This is won't come naturally to you!!! But with time and lots of practice it is achievable! I will take the liberty to recommend a couple of other things that may help you. Take them or leave them, it will affect me none! 1. Review some other guys profiles, even some that are asking for help (like yourself)... Pick out some things or even ideas that match yourself and borrow them. Human beings aren't so different from eachother that other guys here don't have similar traits as yourself... I'm not necessarily saying to plagurize, but quite frankly there isn't that many different ways to deliver the same message(s)! After all, we are guys seeking girls....how many ways can you re-word that? It goes without saying that that was rhetorical, right? 2. Time to do some more reading...I heard some great advice before from some guys that are very successful with women. Read a few romance novels!!! Although I haven't gotten around to it yet, it makes perfect sense if you want to be able to relate well to the opposite secks! Many women are into them you know! I'll wager that there are helpful things to be learned in those books! It will give you an insight into female fantasy at the very least! You do understand that women don't daydream about fighting with a sword and shield; that's a guy thing!....They have entirely different things that they fantasize about! 3. Seek some advice from dating gurus/coaches...There is information plastered all over the net. Some good, some bad, some cheesey, some ETC. I won't make specific recommendations but do a google search as well read some forums out there. Someone will point you in a good direction! Anyway, that's my two cents! I'm sure that it is full of spelling/grammar errors but I imagine my points were at least well understood and that is what is important! Regards!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

Writing more than one person Posted: 2/4/2007 11:53:02 AM
I figure you should probably put more than one line in at a time but using the shotgun approach is a little cheesey! This isn't a mass marketing exercise is it?

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman? Posted: 2/4/2007 11:48:25 AM
I like independant women but if they are too strong it's a bit of a turn off.

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 273 (view)

Guys that cry.....Good or bad? Posted: 2/4/2007 11:44:38 AM
A guy should be able to cry every now and then...but he shouldn't do it so much that he becomes a Wuss :-)

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

IS IT OKAY TO DATE BOTH GUYS? Posted: 12/24/2006 5:24:00 AM
Dating two best friends cannot be good... It is almost as bad as a guy dating two girls who happen to be sisters! One or the other, make a choice or you may end up getting played by them...

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Should I tell her how i feel? Posted: 12/22/2006 8:16:34 AM
Just about everything Griffo66, Transmissionman, and JWA is right on if you ask me.... Adding in my two cents though -- A guy's job is to take the lead on several aspects of a relationship (or working on building one), but taking the lead on expression of feelings isn't one of them. As "THE" emotional half of our species, it is the woman's paradigm. It will creep her out and scare her away, especially a young woman!!! It is correct to show her that you're interested (in a fun way).... but let her lead with "spoken feelings" and let her draw yours out (in due time of course). It is one of the challenges women enjoy and are accustomed to doing.. And, no ladies, I'm not saying men should be closed off to this type emotional expression, just that they shouldn't be open books either! Don't live your life obsessing about this one other person...it ain't healthy! Like was suggested earlier, go find something that you enjoy and TRULY have fun doing, call or text her while doing it and suggest that "too bad she's not there because she'd be having lots of fun too" or something along those lines... It will spell out positives about you on so many levels! And, if you don't get some kind of a positive response from her...then odds are very low that you are gong to have an intimate relationship with this woman. Good luck man! Happy Holidays!!!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 143 (view)

When she won't do oral sex Posted: 12/20/2006 1:07:35 PM
[qutoe] I dont care that much for oral sex but if you are not willing to do it at least here and there once in a while, it means you are a selfish woman and not worth the effort. Men dont like selfish women. [qutoe] The point is, that if you insist that a woman do something she doesn't like or WANT to do simply because YOU like it, you're a selfish man and not worth the effort. Women don't like selfish men. Gorshkov: Wouldn't that suggest that they both need to grow some?.... Doesn't being in a successful relationship require both people to meet somewhere near the middle? Compromise sometimes... I guess you were implying that though, huh?

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

A woman's testing Posted: 12/20/2006 12:44:32 PM
Many of you seem to believe that every woman plays these games weather conciously or subconciously. I haven't met every man in the world so I can't claim to know for a fact that every man on the planet does a certain thing, not sure why you feel that the relatively small number of women you have had experiences with should represent every woman on the planet. That's about as accurate as saying the world will definetly end at 2229 hrs Dec 12, 2006,...oh gee look, already blew that one. Pasqual: No, these guys are not suggesting that all women are the same. What many of them are getting at is a belief (fairly common one at that) that women are genetically wired a certain way that is different than men; primarily in that they instictively seek out certain masculine traits, E.G. leadership, confidence, intelligence, resourcefulness, ETC. in regards to being attractive from a mating perspective. Think back to the days prior to our modern culture/ civilization. If a woman produced offspring with a man that didn't have many of these traits; the family wouldn't survive...there was no such thing as welfare back in the day... Evolutionary theory would suggest that women are wired to weed out men that don't posses "masculine" survival traits. Some of these traits are discerned through a woman's testing of the man; often the woman isn't even aware that she is doing it. Not all women do it, but most do... How it's done can be significantly different from woman to woman primarily because of the filters placed in front of their instictive selves developed based upon their own life's experiences... Life's experiences are one of the things that makes us all unique! Right? Different life's experiences means different filters placed in front of their instinctive selves which results in diffent ways of testing....Or rarely, a woman that doesn't test at all! Haven't women ever wondered why guys aren't typically that emotional? The Answer falls along the lines of the same reasoning. The differences between women and men are signifcantly greater than just hormones and body parts... Disbelieve in these concept if you like, but they are the belief of many people and you should at least respect them and understand where they are coming from! Peace!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

liked him very much,but was not prepared to put out.... so am I fridget or normal? Posted: 12/20/2006 10:43:51 AM
I think the second date is a little soon as well. But, as others have posted, make sure you aren't purposefully or even accidently sending out signals/body language that suggests that you are ready for the relationship to advance. That is unfair and very confusing/frustrating for the guy...and I'm sure it goes without saying that us guys get a little aggavated or even midly aggressive in that state... If you aren't doing that...and he is putting you in a "feel bad state"....then he's the wrong guy. If you are sending the signals, figure it out and stop sending them until you are ready for him to advance the relationship.

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

I must be nuts. Posted: 12/18/2006 9:20:27 PM
Well brother, from a hetero. males perspective... I think several things need work that may require a significant amount of time from you. Rest assured I am in the same boat, therefore I'm not just busting your chops! First, work on your wardrobe. It screams plain and ordinary. And, since you are trying to make an impression on women. Trust me, that isn't the one you are looking for! Second, learn to radiate a warm, friendly, confident smile; women crave that! I know, that is a difficult thing for a lot of us to do! But, with enough practice anyone can become natural at that! Third, like myself, you seem to be trying to win women over using your logical mind...women rarely will be atracted to that..well at least NOT initially anyway. That is a secondary trait in a three trait paradigm. You need to find a way to connect with them emotionally by being interesting yet not bizarre from a woman's perspective....It's hard to explain, but it's kind of like this... A woman doesn't enjoy turning wrenches and a man doesn't enjoy putting make-up on....It is genetic wiring; in other words a law of the universe that we live in. You can relate to that right? Anyway, that is my opinion in summary.... Try looking up the word Deangelo in Google. There is much to be learned from those materials... Best of luck!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

requesting profile review please Posted: 12/18/2006 2:18:27 PM
Wow Ladies! thanks for your prompt and positive responses... and the critiques as well! I made nearly every adjustment that you all suggested: Removed all of the emoticons except for the banana at the end -- had to have at least that one, added two more pics--deleted two, made pic #5 my primary, but I did leave the short hair/men & long hair/women thing for now...I think it helps illustrate that I am somewhat traditionalist. I must admit that occasionally I meet short haired women that I am quite attracted to. But, if I were to date them long term, I would secretly want them to grow it out at least to shoulder length. By keeping that line in there, at least there would be no big surprise later :-) Hair is there to sometimes be pulled, either while being just playful or during other un-named activities... How can you tug on a womans hair if there isn't enough there to get a handful of? Haha! And to you moonflwrs, I think your gorgeous!!! I wouldn't hesitate even for a second to date you, it's too bad for both of us that you live so far away! FYI.. the only reason my age range stops where it does right now is because I am a little apprehensive about giving up the option of having another child. Not saying that I am dead set on wanting one, just scared to close that window at this point! If the right woman comes along though, I'm sure that there will be no problem.... Are the two new pics ok? Thanks again ladies!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

just trying to be creative Posted: 12/18/2006 1:39:19 PM
I'm not really going to bust on you as I'm new to this too and this profile writing doesn't come naturally to me either. But, I think in general it comes across as a little dry-- don't take it personal as that is the same criticism I gave my own profile as well before I rewrote it this weekend. And, who knows it still may be. I put it up for review just a few minutes ago. So, we'll see... You may want to do like I am doing and consider checking into some of the material out there on being successful in this arena. Many of them cover topics like making a memorable impression, creativity, not coming across as needy, ETC... That is what I am just now venturing into. Based upon forums I have been to, reviewers have recommended a bunch of stuff out there from numerous authors, both male and female by the way. Personally, I'm going to get David Deangelo's material on this topic simply because I have read his book and listened to some of his interviews and seminars on successful dating as well as relating better to women... He has some really good stuff out there, but I must admit it takes a while to integrate this into your personality so that you come across as confident and congruent though... Best of luck man! Peace!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

requesting profile review please Posted: 12/18/2006 1:12:12 PM
When I first wrote it, it was way long, dry and somewhat abrasive to some folks I'm sure... I have since rewritten it and now am curious as to what impresion it would strike with people reading it for the first time as of now. Your feedback would be appreciated! thanks!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

rate mine please Posted: 12/18/2006 1:03:08 PM
HAHA...Nice one... That is classic RJ/SS..LOL Inside joke folks...the OP knows what I'm talking about. A little long though, the paragraphs need separated more as others have suggested... Good luck man! I'd like to hear how how much interest you garnish with your profile once you get it refined... Peace out!

Joined: 12/13/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Intimate Encounter suggestion/request Posted: 12/16/2006 8:58:23 AM
"Block users from making first contact that have messaged others for sex or intimate encounters ". Most people will not assume that this only refers to people, always looking for a good time. Most will assume that it blocks people who have only did it once. That is an awfully big assumption about the whole english speaking human population and one which I whole heartedly disagree with!!! I tend to take the same postion on this as the OP... and why would this site resist communicating/clarifying something a little better when it's so easy to add another line or two of text to this checkbox? There is a HUGE difference between someone who habitually lurks around here for intimate encounters and someone who may occasionally but rarely be interested in one while between relationships, that is simply human nature... We as humans are sexual beings but we are not all sex lurkers!!! By the way, how do I know if I have unintentionally done this before as I hadn't checked anything when I first signed up and sent out some messages? Does that flag me or what? And, comparing this particularly ambiguous point to crystal clear things like age difference and habitual drug user is a little out of line!!! That is apples to oranges. And to the OP: you may have to make a second identical profile... keep one hidden whenever you are using the other... In closing, a one or two line clarification of some kind around that checkbox would be a significant improvement...with minimal effort!!! Get-R'-Done!

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