Advice for a confused guy please... chat & forums.

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_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Advice for a confused guy please... Posted: 4/26/2009 7:25:13 PM
Honestly, I can't quite understand why you and/or your family and friends are so quick to assume that she ended the relationship previously soley because of finances. Is it not possible the the emotional stress your employment problems put on the relationship was more to blame? I get the impression you do have a very strong work ethic which is commendable at your age and you also seem very sincere and dedicated to those you love. Have you not considered that the woman you loved and who I hope was smart enough to love you, felt your stress and frustration over the employment issue? At your young ages and just getting started in your careers, losing a job especially while advancing in your career can put a tremendous burden on a relationship. I doubt you were as happy while financially struggling and even if bills were covered by your savings, I"m sure she felt your stress and concern also. If your doubt for her true feelings is largely due to her dating and being with other men while you were apart, I would step back a bit, consider her age and what her fears may have been over getting so deeply involved so young and try to see it through a different light. She may have needed to see what else was out there and frankly, better she did it while you two were apart then together. As long as she is faithful when you two are in a relationship, I wouldn't hold what happened during a break-up against her. If you two truly love each other, follow your heart and instincts, not what others think. Family & friends will always be quick with their opinions to a young couple and tho they may at times be right, no one knows your relationship as well as you and the woman you love.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

a decent question Posted: 4/16/2009 9:09:56 PM
Some women may be hesitant to make the first contact and hoping you'll notice them looking and show your interest by contacting them. They may also be unable to contact you due to your mail filters so you may want to check those.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

How do I regain the spark? Posted: 4/15/2009 9:38:57 PM
My quick take on this is that she either only wants a very casual relationship, moves very slowly in relationships or she's interested in someone else and just keeping you around in case it doesn't work out. Unless she's just waiting for you to make more of a move to get closer. Perhaps you're both waiting on each other or the sparks just aren't there. If you've never even had sex yet feel the spark is already gone, no offense but it doesn't bode well for the rest of the relationship I think.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Why is it that y'all get boned on clothes? Posted: 4/14/2009 9:47:51 PM
Was there a point to your post beyond attention seeking in the "ask a girl" forum? Just wondering...

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Ok ladies...can you help me on this one? Posted: 4/14/2009 9:46:23 PM
It sounds like she just wanted to relive some old memories and while the potential for it to turn into more may have been there, you're both no doubt better off it didn't, at least not that night. Just remember ex's are usually ex's for a reason and while you haven't expressly said it and I'm not sure, it sounds like you're questioning if she's still interested and if you should be pursuing something with her again. If that is what you're seeking advice on, I'd suggest giving it some time to really think about what you want and if one fun weekend was really enough to make going back to whatever you left before worth the trip.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

my married friend Posted: 9/2/2008 11:22:10 PM
Without a doubt, wrong. While what you two are feeling is understandable, she's married and this is something you two should have resolved before this point. I'd also be hesitant in trusting she's 100% sure of her feelings right now as even considering having a baby while feeling she's in a loveless relationship shows she's in an emotional mess right now. If her husband treating her like a slave makes you think it's ok to move in, wrong. The two of them made a choice and you didn't speak up before now. If you need something to tell yourself to avoid pursuing her while she's still married, consider possibly being the guy she may someday come to resent or feel wrecked her marriage. Do you really want that? If you care about her, back off and do not pursue her. I wouldn't even get together "as friends" until she figures out what she wants and goes about making it happen. Now that you've opened that dam, anytime you two are physically together it's highly likely, it could become intimate and you'll both likely regret it and have a lot of guilt over it later. If she's truly unhappy, she needs to put off the baby making, file for a divorce and figure her own life out before jumping into something with you. If you actually hope to be with this woman in the future, long term, step back and try to avoid influencing her choices while she sorts things out. :

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

how many still believe in uncondtional love? Posted: 9/2/2008 10:44:32 PM
As GPS said, not sure I believe in unconditional love except between a parent and child. Unconditional implies you would continue loving the person despite anything in life, including hurtful lies, unfaithfulness, no love reciprocated, etc. You sound like a romantic and that's a wonderful thing but at the same time, as others said here, be realistic, take it slow and let things develop as they will without trying to force or rush anything. The greatest and deepest of loves grow over time and pledging unconditional love to some girl you've only known for a week is likely to scare the life out of her or lead her to think you're just giving her a line. True love takes time, be patient and enjoy every moment as it grows.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

How good IS The advice on this site? Posted: 9/2/2008 9:40:44 PM
If someone is going to take advice and rely solely on that without even questioning the source of it, then I guess they almost deserve to be let down. Like anything else, you need to take what you read with a grain of salt, understand who it's being written by, what their motives might be and consider how much experience they've had with the particular topic. Really, I'd prefer reading the thoughts of many here who been in similar situations to watching Dr Phil or whoever else. At least people writing here are doing so not to make a profit but because they're trying to share and learn from their own experiences while helping others and creating a connection. As to why they aren't all in perfect relationships if their advice is so good. Quite simply really, we can always seem other people's predicaments more clearly then our own and suggest they take the steps to correct their mistakes which we didn't at the time have the strength to take. Love is blind and sometimes we need 20 people dropping a ton of bricks on our heads to accept what we know deep down to be the truth about something. I see it more as an affirmation then anything else and it's also of course always nice to know you're not alone.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

is this guy really just not that into me Posted: 9/2/2008 9:13:00 PM
I'd definitely move on, the guy's just not interested. As busy as he is, if he was really into you, he would at least drop a quick message to let you know how crazy life is but that he is still interested and would be in touch when he could. Sounds like he just messaged a few times when maybe he was bored, lonely or just fooling around but I wouldn't waste another minute on the guy. I know you're probably wondering if maybe you're just not patient, understanding enough, etc - You're NOT! He's just not that into you or dating. Whichever is the case, you deserve and will find better, just let go of that guy and move on.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Boyfriend on dating sites... Confused.? Posted: 9/2/2008 9:08:03 PM
If the profile was on a site like this and he was active on forums, I'd say it was understandable but if you two are exclusive and have been together three months, I see no reasonable reason why he's still have a profile, let alone be updating it. It may be that he's insecure and afraid of being left out in the cold if you leave him but if you've expressed how much it bothers you and he went and updated it and posted fresh new pics, it sounds like he's either trying to test your trust, make a statement to you that maybe he's not ready to be exclusive or really isn't that into the relationship and is still looking. In any event, I honestly wouldn't be comfortable with it at all either. To me, the purpose of a dating site is to meet someone. Once you have and are happy with that person, unless it's a site like this where you do make some same sex friends and have the forums which I think are great, there's just no reason to have the profile.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 23 (view)

wearing your heart on your sleeve, good or bad? Posted: 9/2/2008 8:42:48 PM
If a guy says he loves a woman, especially when they sleep together, or if a guy shares his feelings, tells a woman things, buys little something on his way home time to time, stuff like that they we are considered a wuss, weak, needy, or lets say not worthy material. But if a guy dosn't do these things then we are told we don’t care, we are scumbags and much more. So where does a guy draw the line between nice and bad? And is wearing your heart on your sleeve a good thing or bad thing? What is the equal balance? I think it could be debated very much as to whether it is good or bad to wear it on your sleeve. I do it and it's certainly resulted in a lot of hurt but at the same time, I'm being true to myself, who I am and my feelings and that's not really something I want to change, even if I could. As to the above, regarding a man sharing his feelings - this scenario can come up and be an issue for both men and women. I believe the reality is, if it's the right person for you, there is no need to worry about sharing things too soon, expressing your feelings, demonstrating how much you care and letting the other person know how interested you are. ALthough some people may be scared of by your doing so, I think those aren't the people we're meant to be with for whatever reasons. I think when the feelings are mutual and genuine, it's pretty much impossible to go wrong by just being yourself, opening your heart, mind and making your feelings known. If that other person feels the same way and is ready for love, it will all be well received and returned. If it's not, it just wasn't meant to be.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

is it really true? Posted: 9/2/2008 8:37:00 PM
As far as I know, women having the time to actually initiate any contacts on here is kind of rare given how many more men there seem to be then women. By the time you've gone through initial contacts you've received, there's rarely time left to even browse or search for guys, let alone send them an initial message so, if I were a guy here, I'd definitely make the contact and not wait for it to come. If you're questioning if it's best to wait for a woman you may be interested in to contact you first, I definitely wouldn't recommend it. She may never even see your profile if you don't send that message so why wait? Not much to lose by just saying hi.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

Women with ex's, ever regret dumping a guy? Posted: 9/2/2008 8:32:01 PM
Sorry to hear about your situation. I've honestly never regretted being with anyone nor breaking up with them later as I believe everyone comes into our lives at different times, for different reasons. Unfornately, some can be pretty painful but can also make us stronger and wiser. My ex husband was convinced I left him for another man tho there was no other, we simply didn't belong together anymore and weren't happy. The greener grass for me at that time was being single, not so much to date but just to be free. Whether things work out with your ex's new guy or not, I don't believe leaving one person for another is ever the right course and only tends to lead to failure and perhaps then regrets. I think what you're trying to find answers to may be impossible here as only your ex will know if she'll regret it as I think it truly depends on the individual and how they view love and relationships. Have faith that for whatever reason, you and your ex were no longer meant to be in time and as long as you remain positive and look towards the future, I believe in time you'll see the reasons why.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Think I could change her mind? Posted: 8/28/2008 9:23:16 PM
I've had feelings change with men I saw only as friends initially but who touched my heart and I made connections with in stronger ways. You don't mention how old she is but if sub 30, she may still think that lust is a sign of something stong when in fact, the feelings she described for you are really the ones that can last long term. I wouldn't give up hope but also wouldn't avoid going on with your own life. It may simply be that she's really just not yet ready to date, hasn't gotten to know you well enough yet or may have someone else in mind. It is hard to say but if she felt what she did for you and was so open with you about it, I personally wouldn't give up hope just yet. But as with anything else, follow your instincts, you're closer to this then any of us and should be a better judge if you just trust your feelings. I would maintain the friendship, keep it casual but not hide how you feel, just don't be agressive about it while giving her time to get to know the real you. Sounds like you really care for her, I wish you the best.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

how long after you were divorced or seperated did you start dating again ? Posted: 8/28/2008 8:50:36 PM
I started casually dating immediately, then fell into a 9 month long relationship after which I stopped dating completely for almost two years, until the divorce was 100% finalized, I'd had time to put the past behind me and truly felt ready to move on. While the love was gone from my marriage before I filed for divorce, there are stil so many unresolved issues to deal with, unless it was a very short term marriage. I really do think it's best to avoid anything serious initially. Just make some new friends, have fun and keep it casual. But do be honest with those you are meeting and do not mislead them into thinking you are ready for more then you are. And no OP, I don't think you're selfish at all, you're doing the right thing for you and a future potential relationship by taking it all slow.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 51 (view)

Dinnertime: Are You American Or Eurpopean? Does My Health Mean Nothing To You? Posted: 8/28/2008 8:45:11 PM
Countertops, dining tables and chairs were all meant for one thing only - sex. You want to eat, grab takeout and enjoy it in bed. Nuff said.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

personal questions early on..... Posted: 8/28/2008 8:30:07 PM
Given how sexually intense he was in an initial conversation, I'd say he did have only one things on his mind and when he realized his chances of getting it may be low, he quickly moved on. You lost yourself a player, nothing more. Be glad and move on happily to something better.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 81 (view)

Girls, If a guy said to you At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul what would you think? Posted: 8/28/2008 8:27:46 PM
I think you need to find yourself a very special kind of girl...(maybe one with a P.H.D)

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Damned if you do - Damned if don't Posted: 8/28/2008 8:24:09 PM
I really think this depends on the individuals and their ability to communicate. Some people may want to know the whole truth but once confronted with it, are unable to handle it due to unresolved issues of their own. I think ideally, the one we can truly open our hearts and minds to and give the same to them, is the one we belong with. If you cannot truly share yourself with your lifelong partener, what kind of partenership can that possibly be? To love someone is to accept them exactly as they are even if the truth is not always easy to take initially, it is a part of them.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 755 (view)

Is oral sex cheating? Posted: 8/28/2008 8:00:36 PM
Any action you wouldn't feel confident or comfortable doing right in front of your SO is without a doubt cheating in my book. For this question to even be asked is ridiculous in my opinion. Anytime you need to question if it's cheating, it most likely is and I always consider how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Birth Control Posted: 8/28/2008 7:57:51 PM
This should definitely be discussed openly with your GF and she needs to speak with her doctor to help determine what is the best choice for her. If she is also your age, she has so many options but only her doctor who knows her medical history could advise what would be best for her. Just be supportive whatever she chooses and realize that there can be some side effects with most any method initially and you do also need to use backup birth control for the first few weeks (ie. condoms). As others said, you definitely don't want to be considering a vasectomy at your young age. While it can be reversible, it's not like just going to get a shot or checkup. You have no idea at this point what you'll want in the next 10 years and with so many options, it's just not even worth considering doing unless it was medically necessary.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Matchmaking on PoF Posted: 8/28/2008 7:49:48 PM
I'm said I'm working on it damnit!!! Cut me some slack already, k? Perfection takes time. If you want to settle for just anything, I can come up with something right now but no, I thought you deserved more. And this is what I get for my efforts..... You want posts or matchmaking? P.S. Nice new pic, I'll use that to get back to work for you. O.T. Yea, what he said, Where's the update?

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 54 (view)

Matchmaking on PoF Posted: 8/28/2008 7:27:16 PM
I've tried with a few forum regulars already. Haven't seen a successful one yet but...that's not stoppin me! P.S. Still looking for that perfect guy for you RedC, isn't easy since you deserve the best so patience please!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Geographically Undesirable? Posted: 8/26/2008 9:11:56 PM
My guess would be transportation tho I'm not sure how that is in Chicago, I live outside NYC but prefer not to date guys in there since most don't have cars, I'm not too fond of cities and really don't want to deal with the traffic and hassles of it just to date.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 67 (view)

is sending flowers too old fashioned? Posted: 8/26/2008 9:08:57 PM
Never two old fashioned. Got two beautiful bouquets today from my favorite fishy and it was wonderful.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 31 (view)

Guys please help me get him to realize this. Posted: 8/25/2008 2:19:15 AM
IT WORKS! POF works ! It's a Miracle! I have found my Ideal Mate on POF! OP write me ! I'll do the vasectomy ! Hell, bring a wood-burning tool and I'll let you do it yourself so you are sure ! Just one question....and this is very important... Do you like PIE ? Omg Esad, how could you??!! I complimented you on that pie hours ago but did I get offered a slice? Nothing!!! Don't you realize all these other women just love you for your COC*K but I appreciate you for the pie? Can't you even see how shallow they all are? RedC even complimented you on it and you're just giving your pie away like it's nothing!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Why doesn't she get the message? Posted: 8/25/2008 2:15:12 AM
Because she's desperate? Why not just completely cut ties? You did the right thing, were honest about how you felt, it's her issue to deal with now, not your's so just cut off communication at this point.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

Bone graft pain and sex Posted: 8/25/2008 2:11:57 AM
If it's pain from the tissue they cut through, then aggressively pursuing some physical activity as soon as possible will probably be a help. Just go dancing as soon as the surgeon says ok I didn't realize that was what caused the pain. If that's the case, sounds like sex would actually be a great cure! Thanks for that post!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Have you ever been intermittently sexually repulsed by your partner? Posted: 8/25/2008 2:08:17 AM
I've noticed that despite being blind to so many other things going wrong in a relationship at times, when I get the feeling you mentioned during sex, it's a clear indication it's over and it's like a ton of bricks hitting me over the head saying "what the hell are you doing with this guy?" It's odd when just a week or so ago, doing the same thing, you were in exctasy yet suddenly it feels so very wrong with that person.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

How Does It Make You Feel When A Woman Can't Accept A Compliment? Posted: 8/25/2008 1:41:32 AM
Interesting, so if a guy I don't even know says "Wow, great ass" I should politely say thank you and be cool with that? Compliments about personality, ability, intellect, etc are one thing. When it's a compliment about looks, especially one that's fairly crass and it's fairly clear the one giving the compliment is looking to hook up and is eyeing you up and down, it really doesn't feel too complimentary. It just feels creepy so no, I don't take those well and perhaps the problem for some of the decent guys is that the players tend to put women on the defensive and depending on the situation, a woman may or may not take it so well. If the one giving the compliment seems genuine and is actually making eye contact and it's in a comfortable setting, then obviously, a thank you is the correct response. In a different atmosphere, he may do all the same things but if some player type came up a few minutes before him and said the same thing, it's not going to be received too well because her guard is up. So, blame your own genders for screwing it all up!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Giving Out Your Phone Number... Posted: 8/25/2008 1:31:44 AM
I agree with you about the "rules" and "games" stuff and a lot of women do consider things much differently now but at the same time, it is still a bit ingrained. Also, it's been pretty well established that most men do want or need the "chase" and that it somehow makes it seem like the woman is more "valuable" for lack of a better word (overtired at the moment). When I am truly interested, I do prefer a man gives me his number first, whether her or out somewhere as I am more comfortable with that for safety reasons and if truly interested, I will call. You have to bear in mind that a lot of women are worried about confrontation from a man if they say no to taking his number. You may be the kindest man on earth who would never speak an ill word towards a woman but most every woman has run into men who don't take no or rejection well and can get quite nasty so most of us (I think) do take the number to avoid any problems but also to avoid hurting the guy's feelings. I looked at your profile and am wondering if perhaps you're giving alot of women you meet while working your phone number. This may not be such an ideal place to be doing it as many may assume you do it frequently and may be a bit of a player or something. Hard to say since I have no idea what the women are like who you approach but generally, if the interest is truly there and they know there's no way you could ever get their number to contact them, they'll call. And yes, lots of fish out there so don't give up. Keep giving the number out and eventually one will bite!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Giving Out Your Phone Number... Posted: 8/25/2008 1:01:02 AM
No, there's no code and it's normally preferred that a man offer his number. I'm sorry to say this but maybe you're giving it out too often and not to women who are truly interested but rather just being polite? Another possibility is that a good number of women really don't want to make the first move as we repeatedly hear despite it being 2008, that most relationships which start with women initiating contact or pursuing a man, fail. And yes, lots of women will talk and flirt but that doesn't mean they're interested in anything more. They may just be having fun or being friendly.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

Why women like to ask men about their fears? Posted: 8/24/2008 10:47:03 PM
Cute but not quite what I meant.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Why women like to ask men about their fears? Posted: 8/24/2008 10:19:41 PM
what you are looking for red is a guy with lots of money don't you hon? You're going to have to do better then that to bait me sweetie.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Women that back out when they are challenged Posted: 8/24/2008 10:14:21 PM
so why cant a guy like me do the same to a woman to see what shes all about. Um....because you just come back here crying about it when it doesn't work? But hey, keep trying, perseverence is the mother of invention. Then again, you'd probably want to know what the mother would give in remind so never mind!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Why women like to ask men about their fears? Posted: 8/24/2008 9:46:05 PM
but bcs I know what you kittens breath, and am showing other guys what you are really made of, I have unlimited opportunities, though, won't care if some think I am shwoing off, have no reason for that, there is almost nobody here knows me personally, and most likely never will. thanks for remarks, but guys trust me, I am not looking for any advice, neither some have to come here and show how bitter they are I think you missed a step dear OP. If your goal is to show all men how evil and full of BS all us women are, wouldn't you be far better off posting in Ask A Guy where you would likely have a larger male audience? You clearly state that is your mission and you're not truly here seeking any advice so while I'd hate to point out that your hidden agenda is failing here, I think it may be. See all of us women already know, as does Mapt just what we're all about so why waste your awesome intellect and amazing insight on us?

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Women that back out when they are challenged Posted: 8/24/2008 9:35:29 PM
I have talked to girls in person and I asked them what they can bring in return and some of them just backed off and got all offended. All I did was ask a simple question. My guess is, it's not so much the question itself as the manner in which it is being asked. If you're saying it just like you're stating it here, without any clarification to anything specific, it could throw a person off. Now in a job interview, most people would readily answer that question and tell you exactly what they could do for the "business" A dating relationship is a quite different and if you are asking what she wants yet you two don't yet know each other well and you're asking her what she can give you...well, no wonder they're taken aback. It's almost like setting it up as a "well fine, you want this and think you're worth that..., what are you gonna do for me??" It's not a question people are normally asked in that manner when first chatting or dating. While it is discussed in other ways, it's not usually presented the way you seem to do it. I'm not saying this is your intent as I don't know you well enough, just saying that is how it could sound.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 137 (view)

At what age do females loss there sex drive??????? Posted: 8/24/2008 9:16:14 PM
I'm kind of hoping post mortem.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Women that back out when they are challenged Posted: 8/24/2008 9:14:21 PM
Can someone tell me whats going on? If you are going to say you want something...I feel you should cover all your bases. So basically you're just looking to vent about nonspecific things, make generalizations about women and complain about a girl closing a chat window. Or did I miss something? I do feel your pain and I'm here for you, really I am but asking us to tell you why a girl closed a chat room after saying she wanted to be treated like a princess is like asking us to break the girl code. I'd just really like to know why you kept the window open after she said that? Please reply before your post gets deleted for being what it is as I'm really curious!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 40 (view)

Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But... Posted: 8/24/2008 9:05:34 PM
I smell a Ms Popularity Award ! OMG!!! Did I win? Huh, did I? Please? (I'll understand if you give it to RedC or Clas tho I may write them some catty little msg later but...if I won, omg!!!) That reply is actually an excuse to post and say I LOVE that new pic Esad! Seriously, looks like it's off the cover of a cookbook or something and I gotta say, that pie is damn seductive! (This is me actually being serious by the way)

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 30 (view)

Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But... Posted: 8/24/2008 8:15:47 PM
^^^ Would appear someone has issues relating to other females. Not sure exactly where you thought you were being bashed by me or what got you riled up enough to accuse the females here of posting mindless stuff but your peace sign seems a bit out of place. Frankly, I could care less if I'm gettin' on your nerves as I completely lost interest in any thoughts or opinions you had the minute you started bashing the women in this thread with your remarks about their mindless posts. You can retract your claws now, I'd rather laugh and have a little fun then waste my time debating with someone like yourself. Good luck with that whole attitude thing.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But... Posted: 8/24/2008 7:57:54 PM
btw : I am actually serious, that it's not as odd as some people may think. Some "just friends" do that, but that theory got blown out of the water, given your history. Hey!!! Just what is that supposed to mean? Really...not sure if I should be offended or what? OP- You're asking for polarization of the thread which I'm pretty sure is kinda against the forum rules so you may want to be careful there. As for serious replies, what did you really expect when you ended your initial post with the emoticon you did? I don't know about the others but I thought you were kidding. I guess if you want serious replies but didn't get that, instead of pointing the finger outwards, you should turn it in and consider why you didn't get what you were seeking.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Boyfriend under lots of stress & pressure Posted: 8/24/2008 7:50:08 PM
I help him out finding leads for alcohol classes, community service, and jobs, but I think he gets a little annoyed with it because he is very independent and accepting help is like admitting that he can't do it himself. Most important rule of thumb when dealing with someone with drug or alcohol problems is to never be the one to do exactly what you're doing right now. If he really wants to clean up and straighten out, he needs to take those steps on his own. The more you try to lead it, the more he'll resent you and likely misplace blame for things and never take responsibility for himself. He needs to grow up and deal with his own issues and mess he created himself. You're his GF, not his caregiver but that's exactly what you're becoming. I'd also be careful he doesn't pull you into his problems even more. I understand you care about the guy but he's obviously got issues and needs to deal with those before trying to become serious in a relationship.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

Why women like to ask men about their fears? Posted: 8/24/2008 7:37:57 PM
Is this why you beaches are asking this question all the time? You want to taste waters ha? Or for what? Don't come with scientific theories about this to show your intellegence, come up with reasonable answers LOL!!! You moron, you actually probably met some really nice women who cared enough to know more about you, what makes you tick, etc and you assume she's looking for a weak spot? She was probably already getting a feel for how intense your anger issues are and was hoping to find a shred of humanity buried somewhere deep inside you. Lucky for her, she failed. Enjoy that lonely old age you're welcoming with you lousy, negative attitdue and hatred.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But... Posted: 8/24/2008 7:31:48 PM
I don't know, I prefer to greet a guy with an ass grab. Maybe I'm just not forward enough?

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Guys please help me get him to realize this. Posted: 8/24/2008 7:23:45 PM
Wow, I think she's actually serious. Thread history is really interesting.... Are you that desperate or just totally out of your freakin mind OP? You've posted threads about this guy crying over his fear of being single the rest of his life (I have this odd feeling, you're probably the one telling him he will be) And your replies to a thread about trapping a wealthy man by getting pregnant are sickening. Go get some help and do your **** buddy a favor by letting him get on with his life without your controlling , greedy, using self beating him down. Seriously, I feel sick just reading your opinions on things.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Guys please help me get him to realize this. Posted: 8/24/2008 7:15:36 PM
I have a ** buddy. We both want to be clean and healthy so we made it clear that we're gonna be in no one else but each other as long as we can Sounds good so far... nothing wrong with a ** buddy as long as it's consensual. The health concerns are good. he'll never find anyone. hes 25 still single Of course not!!! 25 is totally over the hill. his dream girl/wife does not exist So you're clairvoyant or something, right? he'll be very happy when he gets it done. Well of course he will because you think so. a vasectomy is reversible, for a female its permanent. i need my reproductive system just incase i bump into a rich guy i can have his baby and not work for the rest of my life like those celebrity ex wifes gettin all them good settlement. Ok, at this point I'm assuming this is a total joke because I cannot believe any woman would be this selfish, ****y, greedy or such a user. So I'm not even going to bother replying seriously. Nice job of livening the forums up with this joke tho.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But... Posted: 8/24/2008 7:06:53 PM
Smile real pretty at him as you gently slide your hand between his legs up to his crouch...now SQUEEZE real hard...until he gets the message. That only works if: 1. He's not into pain 2. She has incredibly long, sharp nails 3. She works out with one of those hand squeeze balls on a regular basis RedC - Not so much gentler, just wary of serving time. I do love men in uniform but it's hard to play with them when they're on the opposite side of the bars.

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But... Posted: 8/24/2008 6:36:25 PM
Another curious mind would like to know if you were talking to another guy at the time. Maybe Mr. Friendly got a lil jealous. I think I'd go with a nice 3" wedged heel pointedly slammed down on his foot while "accidentally" spilling your drink on his pants with one hand and an elbow to the chest. That combo is kind of a nicer, gentler way of making a point as opposed to the arm breaking thing RedC suggested. (that can leave too much evidence Red, you should know that by now). Or are we only hearing half the story here? Cmon OP, admit it, you went for the feel first, didn't ya? J/K!!!

_Red_

Joined: 12/14/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Bone graft pain and sex Posted: 8/24/2008 2:23:11 PM
It's for a posterior neck fusion, my 2nd. First time was with cadaver bone and titanium so not too sure what to expect with this one. Iam2anangel - If they could conceive a child like that...there's hope!!! Thanks to both of you for your posts.

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