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 Author Thread: POLYGAMY?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 281 (view)
 
POLYGAMY?
Posted: 4/20/2013 11:23:44 AM
Oh good lord. The only people that enjoy polygamy is the men. The women in other cultures that have to deal with this type of lifestyle, often are very unhappy. A friend of mine from a country in Africa where polygamy is common, told me a story about her father having more than one wife. Her mother wouldn't talk to him for days on end, and apparently her mother even threw some stuff at him when he brought some other wife around. She was not liking it at all, and she eventually drove this woman out of the house. Only the men are served by polygamy. Women throughout history have been made very miserable by this time of marital arrangement. And this guy's acts of so-called chivalry, paying for things for you, etc., are all done to make you feel obligated. It's a form of manipulation.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Women Pushing 40...Or Over
Posted: 4/20/2013 11:16:10 AM
Wolfxusa66~

"Does a good whisky or wine turn worse when it ages? Au contraire. It was a 40-ish woman who literally made me stop and run for an ice pack to prevent overheating, not a young hottie. How many young ladies can have 10+ orgasms in one evening?"

Oh, so how many orgasms a woman can have is what makes her hot? Hmmmmmmm.....I suppose it's because it feeds that male ego.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Women Pushing 40...Or Over
Posted: 4/20/2013 11:10:02 AM
I am in my 40s, and I definitely think that there are fewer dating options. I guess I am not really interested in dating anymore as a result of all the BS I've run into. I've sort of gotten over the idea that I'll fall in love and grow old with someone. I am content to be alone at this point in my life. One can have a happy fulfilling life without a man.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Dating a sub who has a dom other than you
Posted: 4/20/2013 11:04:17 AM
OP

Dude, come on, this woman has issues. She is emotionally intimate with a man that won't F her, and the rest just unravels from there. Look, go find a woman that doesn't have a romantic life that is so complicated and fraught with potential drama of epic proportions. I mean talk about a fricken labyrinth. What the hell are you wasting your time for?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 129 (view)
 
Bf rarely wants sex
Posted: 4/20/2013 10:58:23 AM
you two have very different sex drives, but what i am trying to figure out is why you had a baby with this guy? shouldn't you have figured out that the two of you were not compatible before dragging a poor little innocent baby into the situation? you two don't belong together. you are not going to be satisfied sexually and emotionally by a man that only wants to have sex with you once a month. frivolous, vapid, clueless, and irresponsible are some of the adjectives that come to mind.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 89 (view)
 
It's been a year, he won't give me oral!
Posted: 4/20/2013 10:51:37 AM
OP

Look, what is most important to you? Sex or being in love with a great guy? I don't know, oral sex is great and all, but there are other things a person can do sexually that are just a great. If the guy doesn't like it, then he doesn't like it. Why can't you guys just have intercourse and call it a day, or are you only able to have an orgasm via oral sex? Is that really what the issue is here?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Me and my wife is seperated. She is seeing someone else and I want her back
Posted: 4/14/2013 9:16:23 PM
let me get this straight, your wife that doesn't love you anymore is seeing someone else while you are still living in the same house? why don't you ask her to move out? to subject a spouse to such a blatant display of disregard is really abusive. it's one thing to know your spouse wants out and is seeing someone else, but it's another thing completely to be subjected to it. i don't care what you might have done to tick her off, there is nothing remotely acceptable or justified in her behavior. she's rubbing salt in your wounds. furthermore, talk about trying to provoke someone! i mean, this is just cruel! please tell her to move out. this is so egregious i am literally shocked.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Girl finds sexual activity nasty...
Posted: 4/14/2013 9:05:55 PM
OP

look, if you don't have very serious intentions with this girl, than leave her alone. don't try to sleep with her if you aren't in love with her. sex is very serious to her. she is a virgin. she is from a different culture, and she probably has been infused with some serious catholic guilt. that being said, she probably doesn't think sex itself is nasty, but she probably feels that with you under the circumstances it is prurient. is it? do you just want to bang her because she's "hot?" just leave her alone if you aren't in love with her. don't mess around with a virgin, because if you sleep with this girl, if she falls in love with you, you are going to shatter her heart into a billion little shards of sadness. Not all cultures view sex the way western europeans and many americans do. a lot of men in this culture view sex as an entitlement after only a few dates. it's pretty sad that we've sunk to such a level, but it is what it is. the sexual genie is more than out of the bottle, but many women still prefer to have sex with someone with whom they are in love (myself included). if you pursue things with this woman, i think you will regret the outcome. like i said, if you aren't thinking about marrying her, then leave her alone.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
i cheated on my girlfriend once but i apologized and promised to change but she wouldn't come back
Posted: 4/14/2013 9:00:02 PM
well, you learned a lesson. i don't think there is anything you can do. i think it's best that you move on. obviously, it was more than just a conversation. it had to be something a bit more intimate for her to get so upset. she doesn't trust you, and she doesn't have the capacity to forgive. that says something about HER. personally, i have and i would give someone another chance if i really loved them. i personally have had male friends that cheated on their girlfriends but turned things around and have remained faithful. the old adage that once a cheater always a cheater isn't necessarily true. i think she was looking for a reason to break up anyway, and you gave her the excuse she needed to exit. if she can't forgive a phone conversation, what else can't she forgive? like i said, that says a lot. you probably got away from a potentially unhealthy relationship. i am not condoning what you did ( i am not sure exactly what it is that you did), but a marriage or serious long term relationship requires the capacity to forgive. it takes a lot of work! so count your blessings, move on, learn from your lesson, and don't mess up like this again.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:52:47 PM
i think it's best to just block someone that sends you a message asking for sex...that is, if you are not interested, lol! i suppose there might be some out there that would be intrigued by the queries of, "can we meet up so I can show you my privy member?"

I recently had someone message me, asking, "Are you good in bed." First of all, my profile clearly states that I am only here for the forums and that I am not interested in dating at this time. That being said, I thought about being a smarta** and replying, "why yes I am." And leaving it at that, but instead I just hit delete, and block. I just don't have any energy to even bother with an inane message like this. I mean, honestly, the guy was obviously just looking to get a rise out of me or something. The guy obviously wasn't serious, and he probably is bored and has nothing better to do than harass women on a dating site. Ugh.

So, yeah, the block button works wonders.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Women that Lie about their Marital Status. Separated/Divorced???
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:45:36 PM
i don't know, but from my experience, that is what men typically do. i've run into more married men on pof than i care to count. i got pretty hurt, so i just don't bother dating on this site anymore as a result. there are too many married men, and it just isn't worth the risk. i think paying sites might be a bit better.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Relationships Today
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:44:03 PM
it's common courtesy to call and say that you arrived okay. if i truly loved someone, i'd be calling him every night ( or hoping that he'd be calling me) to say good night. somehow the day just seems out of sorts if you can't say good night to the person that you love at the end of the day.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 58 (view)
 
CRADLE SNATCHING
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:41:03 PM
Well, I wouldn't date a younger man, but I feel quite comfortable dating an older man. I actually prefer to date men that are about 10 to 15 years older, but I do date men closer to my own age, too. Older men are more interesting, more attractive, and tend to have better manners. Younger men are a turn off to me. JFK was 12 years older than Jackie, so I don't see what the big deal is. But when an older woman dates a younger man, it's definitely a risk. Men are so visual, and I've yet to see a relationship between a significantly older woman and a younger man last for the long haul. Typically, the guy ends up leaving for a women that is younger or close to his own age.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Well I just said NO to a offer of friends with benefits
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:36:22 PM
Donj77

Most men are reluctant to enter into a relationship. The word MOST means the majority; it does not mean ALL. If you think that men and women are equally skiddish about commitment, then that's a new one on me! Lol! I'd say the number of books out there that have been written for women about how to get a man to commit should be evidence enough. Ya don't see too many books out there for men about how to get a woman to commit. I think the market place speaks quite clearly to the issue here that has confounded women for time immemorial - men are happy having sex, and women want a relationship. Period.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Paying for Sex-Can cost you your job?!
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:27:59 PM
Yes. As an attorney, he is an officer of the court, and for an attorney, breaking the law is a HUGE deal. Like with many professions, he is bound by a code of ethics, and one of those codes of ethics means that he shouldn't be breaking the law. If a pharmacist got busted for using illegal drugs, he could lose his license, etc., and this is really no different. I think you have a misunderstanding of what is involved with such behavior when it comes to professional standards of ethics. He could even get disbarred for this, which means he could lose his ability to practice law. So, yeah, I could see why a firm might fire the guy. Btw, I had a friend lose his law license for getting busted with cocaine. He was an addict, and he did go through rehab, etc.. Unfortunately for him, he also ended up spending a few years in jail, which hardly looks good for an attorney, who is supposed to be an officer of the court. In some professions, if you bring disrepute to your employer you can be dismissed, even if you don't necessarily break the law. One's behavior in one's private life can have professional implications, and this is not any different. Your friend knew the possible consequences of choosing to break the law, and prostitution is against the law - like it or not.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue- what would you do?
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:19:00 PM
It's done. He is not interested in you. I wouldn't call him again, nor should you seek any further explanation. It's done. Just disappear from his life. He might call you some time perhaps months down the road, but I wouldn't count on it. He most likely met someone else, and it could very well be that you were simply a rebound. Who knows? The fact of the matter is that he is not interested and there is nothing you can do to change that. Move on. Cry your tears. Pick yourself up and meet someone that will truly care for you. Don't waste one minute. Start dating right away and move on. That is the best thing you can do for your bruised ego and heart.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Well I just said NO to a offer of friends with benefits
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:47:28 PM
Muted Enthusiasm~

"Some black-and-white thinking there, Larissan04, leading to some false premises. Wouldn't one would have to ignore a lot of happy relationships and successful marriages to maintain those beliefs?"

In general, men are reticent about being in a relationship, whereas women are typically looking for one. You deny that this is true? Do you also deny that men have the capacity to separate sex and love/romantic feelings, whereas the average woman does not share this capacity?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 56 (view)
 
over 50 then look at this
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:28:04 PM
Sheesh....75k a year is really not that much money...most people I know make at least that!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Viagra And Divorce: A link?
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:26:36 PM
tnt144

The real reason a woman becomes uninterested in sex is because her man no longer thinks forplay is necessary. Men often think that female sexual responses are like that of men, well, they are not. While women enjoy looking at a good looking guy in the buff, it's not the same as when a man sits and looks at a naked woman. A woman that isn't interested in sex can be made to be interested in it. It's called seduction, hello!!!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 275 (view)
 
People who are here only for the forums
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:22:37 PM
I am only here for the forums. I've been on and off of this site while in between relationships. I am here only for the forums because I've come to the conclusion that the chances of me meeting the love of my life on this site are nil. There are too many players, married men, guys looking for a FWB, guys pretending to be looking for a relationship that are really looking for a FWB, and then there are the guys that can't communicate a succinct thought. There are men that are missing teeth, and men that describe themselves as "athletic" but walk with a cane. There are guys that consider themselves "smart," but have never gone to college. So, yeah, I am here for the forums, and I don't even check my inbox 90% of the time. Also, there are issues that I have as well. First of all, I am a bit under employed, and I feel that I really need to focus on my career. I don't think there are too many men that would be interested in dating a woman when her career isn't on track. I am not a bimbo, and I am not looking for a sugar daddy, etc.. So to answer your question, yes, I am only here for the forums.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Viagra And Divorce: A link?
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:13:27 PM
Well, why do people really cheat in the first place? It isn't all about sex. If someone is cheating, the marriage probably should have over a long time ago...so the real questions is, why do people stay in marriages that are no longer fulfilling their needs...viagra or no viagra...
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 122 (view)
 
What do you think about dating a stripper?
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:10:35 PM
See girls...this is how men see we women...we are either the girls that are fun to party with...or we are marriage material... so...OP, wake up and get a clue!

Here is what Cowboy said which illustrates the male view of women quite well...

"Little brother ran a strip club in Dallas (baby dolls) for several years. Had a blast dating the girls. Some of the funnest gals to go out with. Not marrying material. But to date? HELL YES! lol We partied Dallas to the ground I promise ya. lmao. Heck we would go to clubs with 5 or 6 strippers. It was a total blast."
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 121 (view)
 
What do you think about dating a stripper?
Posted: 4/14/2013 12:03:53 PM
Wow. You are so young! Good lord, get your life together, go to school, learn how to do SOMETHING, and get a real job! You are young, so you certainly can turn your life around; It's not too late! However, if you wait much longer, you will end up in a place you do not want to be. You can't be a stripper when you are 45, so if you haven't created some kind of career for yourself or saved up any money, you are going to be broke, washed up, and full of regret. You can't depend on some man to take care of you, and Mr. Darcy or Prince Charming is not going to walk into your strip club some night and whisk you away to some "castle" in Bel Air or something. A pretty woman with no marketable job skills is what is referred to as a bimbo. Don't be a bimbo. You have more to offer than that.

As far as school goes...you do not have to go to college. You could go to a trade school. You can take out student loans, which would cover the cost of living expenses in addition to your books and tuition. There are a lot of things that you can do!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
My guy is showing as being logged on, but he says he hasn't
Posted: 4/14/2013 11:55:20 AM
Nope. He was logged on. The question is, are you two in a committed relationship at this point? Are you exclusive? If so, then why does either of you have a profile on POF anymore?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 88 (view)
 
Well I just said NO to a offer of friends with benefits
Posted: 4/14/2013 11:51:24 AM
OP

You did NOT blow an opportunity. Sheesh, you know that a FWB type of relationship does not work for you, and you showed integrity by refusing to agree to such an arrangement. This type of relationship, if you can call it that, doesn't work for most women. The average women ends up getting hurt in the end.

I honestly don't know why it is that men don't want relationships and women do. I don't understand how a man can have sex and not feel any sort of connection at all. I guess that is what makes sex and dating so perilous. A girl never knows if the guy is truly interested or if he's just pretending to be interested so he can "get some."
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 257 (view)
 
Would you be in a poly relationship
Posted: 3/26/2013 7:32:04 PM
do you mean be with more than one person? like a relationship between three or more people? well, um, no i would not. there is no way.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Rejecting or being Rejected
Posted: 3/17/2013 1:38:52 PM
being rejected always sucks. no one likes it, but it's part of life. some people get really angry, but what is the point in that? i accept that it is a very common reaction to rejection, but it's probably best to deal with that on your own. unless someone was a major major jerk about it, there really is no justification for subjecting someone to a lot of anger. you can't make someone love you, and why on earth would you want someone to stay with you if they didn't really love you? i think you have to treat people with respect, and be upfront about things so as not to waste anyone's time or lead someone on. if you've been with someone a long long time, then yeah, you have to expect that there may be anger and a lot of hurt feelings to deal with. i suppose this is why so many people just slink away when they break up. it's probably just easier to avoid the other person's hurt feelings of rejection.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Online dating is there a chance?
Posted: 3/12/2013 7:37:34 PM
No, I don't think there is much of a chance of making a connection here. I think it's very hard to meet men in general, but online dating sort of gives men the impression that there are so many women out there and they are afraid that they might miss something. This is why I just don't date anymore. I have given up on the whole prospect. If I meet someone, great, if not, well, that's life! You have to realize that you too can be just fine by yourself, and most likely, if you aren't really looking, you will find someone. And yes, if a guy is truly interested he will make a real effort. Period.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 77 (view)
 
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/12/2013 7:34:32 PM
Oh I had to laugh out loud when I read this. Could you imagine someone standing you up, then actually trying to reschedule with you because you pretended like you said you were sorry for standing him/her up? Oh, I am not a vindictive person at all, but I did find this very amusing! Lol!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Wanting Out, but feel stuck.....HELP!!
Posted: 3/12/2013 7:30:12 PM
Well, while I do not believe in having affairs, I also do not believe that a marriage is something one should stay in if it is no longer where you want to be. I believe in death do you part, but I certainly would not want my husband (if I had one) to stay with me out of some sense of duty or obligation. If he was in love with someone else, didn't want to work it out, was unhappy, unfulfilled, wanting a new life, I'd want him to leave me. Divorce is very very difficult, and I do understand why people stay in a marriage long beyond the time that they should; however, at the same time, staying may be stagnating for both partners if the marriage is, in fact, over. If you are not raising children, or if the children are grown, it may be time to move on. You deserve to by happy and grow old with the person that you truly love. Marriage shouldn't be a "duty," and being a wife or husband shouldn't be a role in martyrdom. I think you should leave unless you are unable or willing to face the financial devastation that divorce can cause, but then again, how much is your happiness and your soul worth?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
URGENT.. Date in 1 hours. Should I go?
Posted: 3/12/2013 7:17:46 PM
I'd at least go, but if he is not being mindful of his communication with you, it is possible that he's just going through the motions and not really all that interested. I think this is something that you will need to gauge based upon how he acts if and when you do meet up. Good luck!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 153 (view)
 
Do men in their 40's want younger women?
Posted: 3/12/2013 7:16:08 PM
I do think that men in general prefer younger women, so in answer to your question, yes, this is with which you have to compete. Men are visual creatures, and they find younger women more attractive. I've known some very pretty women that are in their 40s, and with the age restrictions that some men place, they are very obviously screening out any chances of meeting the attractive woman over 40. It could be that they are interested in having children and want a younger woman for that reason, or it could just be that they are only attracted to younger women. This is reality. It sucks, but it is what it is.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
45 and feel so out of my depth about dating
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:40:37 PM
Lol, I just tried to check out your profile, but I guess I am too "old" or am outside your settings. I was curious to see what you had posted on your profile so as to see if I could glean any insights. Anyway, what exactly do you find so intimidating about a woman as opposed to a "girl?"
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Is he not into me?
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:37:22 PM
well, he isn't trying to sleep with you. you have only known eachother for 8 weeks. that isn't exactly a long time. maybe he is waiting? it is a sad commentary on our society when people are so used to having sex after about 2 months of knowing each other, but i guess that is where we are in our societal norms. that being said, i think if a man is really into you he will want to sleep with you - a lot - often. if a man really wants a woman, he is going to want to have sex with her. i am tending to think that he's not really into you, or perhaps if he has some serious performance anxiety. i don't know, but i do know that something is wrong with this picture.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Hugo Chavez, Murdered.
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:12:49 PM
outof controlman~

actually, Allende plopped down on his couch and shot himself in the mouth. there is an account of this detailed in the book, "the world was going our way," which is based upon the mitrokhin archives and written by an oxford scholar. mitrokhin was the archivist for the kgb, and smuggled 20 years worth of documents out of russia with the help of british intelligence. there is a ton of documentation that details the activities of the soviet union in over throwing regimes or interfering with the political landscape of nations all over the world. the only reason why we were in many of these countries was to counter their meddling. Allende was fully supported, manipulated, and worked closely with the soviet union. the CIA was involved in supporting a coup against Allende, but it's not like the russians didn't install him in power in the first place.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Hugo Chavez, Murdered.
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:04:15 PM
first of all, considering that stalin was responsible for the murders of about 60 million of his own people, i would hardly regard him as being a champion of the poor. the same goes for chavez. he took land from people without any compensation, and gave it to cronies, thereby creating a new class of poor and down trodden. venezuela now has about the worst inflation of any nation in this hemisphere, and the murder rate in venezuela has sky rocketed as murderous thugs have been given free reign. let's not leave out that chavez supported FARC, which is a terrorist organization that has been responsible for the kidnapping and ransoming of hundreds of people. i am sorry, but anyone that supports a group such as that is nothing more than a tyrannical thug. i don't see where you site any proof that chavez was somehow murdered or "infected" with cancer. just because he died at age 58 doesn't mean he didn't die of natural causes, i.e. cancer. there are plenty of people that have died of cancer in all age groups. i had an aunt die of cancer in her 50s, and i had a friend die of cancer at age 28 - he was the picture of perfect health. one of my close girl friends was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkins at age 22. she lived, but another friend i had ended up dying of hodgkins at age 36 even though it was caught at stage 2. you know nothing of what chavez's health, eating habits, lifestyle, smoking habits, etc. happened to be.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:45:42 PM
i'd ignore and move on. also, if the guy is on here, he's probably not happily married. his wife might not know that, but it's pretty clear that he's not happy and looking for something. there are a lot of married men on this site, so you have to be careful. some of them are right up front about it, others are not, so you have to watch for the red flags.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 421 (view)
 
skirt length when over 50
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:36:06 PM
i say if a woman has great legs then she should flaunt em! i've seen women that are in their 60s and 70s with pretty good gams, and i say good for them! most of us are not blessed with great legs, but if you are, they are certainly nothing to be ashamed of. if you got it, flaunt it!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 366 (view)
 
Facial hair on men over 45 - make them look older or younger - why?
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:32:06 PM
i think facial hair dates a man, but of course, it depends on the style. the mustache by itself if always very dated. it's just not in style at this time, but perhaps if a man is dating a woman who is older she might be into that. the whole goattee thing just says "white trash" want to be to me. i don't like the look, and the goattee is very 90s. it's done. over. period. men that are clean cut and clean shaven look more youthful. there are a few men that actually look good with facial hair, but they are few and far between (tom selleck, eric clapton, etc.). as a rule general rule it's probably safer for a man to be clean shaven.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
The New Prostitution
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:28:50 PM
i had no idea that these sites did this. i am not surprised, however.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/10/2013 2:48:16 PM
TrishaF2011~

"there is a huge difference between age discrimination in the work place and your accurate age being stated on a dating website. I understand that you feel age is a personal piece of information. Sadly, the majority of the people in this thread disagree with you, and do so with clear rationale. On a dating website, a persons age is basic information, just like stating where you live in terms of state or country. These things are basic. Personal information would be like asking for their drivers license number ( yup, saw a thread once where a chick honestly expected guys to give that to her so she could run a criminal check on them, smh) Your example of workplace discrimination is a poor one for this topic and it does not apply across the board. you are also misinterpreting personal information as basic information. If you feel the need to "hide" things about yourself that are basic, then you are then considered not trustworthy. I get that you do not feel that age is insignificant, the problem is that you also see lying about it to be insignificant and I would venture to say you feel doing so should also be inconsequential."

I acknowledged that on a dating site it was de rigueur to give one's age. My example of age discrimination illustrates that age is personal information that a person has a right to protect, imo. It was stated in a previous post that if someone lies about some thing as unimportant as their age, than they will lie about other things. That is why I brought up age discrimination as an example, because age isn't unimportant, age isn't inconsequential - age matters. I also noted that disclosing my age to people I do not know so indiscriminately is an uncomfortable compromise too me. I do realize that most people on this site also disagree with me, but I don't base my opinions or principles upon the popularity or approval of others. In addition, while it is most likely that a person met on a dating website will not cross your path professionally, there is a chance that the person might cross your path professionally. In fact, this has happened to me in the past. While age may not matter much in some professions, as I also stated previously, I worked in an industry where NO ONE EVER divulged their real age because it could literally RUIN your career if it was discovered that you were "too old." I personally knew people that lost work because of their age. Based upon the fact that age is significant to some people - a point that I proved - I certainly would not hold it against them if they did not tell me their correct age. I do not feel it is my business until someone is a significant part of my life.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/10/2013 2:33:32 PM
Look, if you really like her, then keep asking her out and see where things go. Some women, myself included, are pretty reticent about calling, texting, or emailing a guy when you first start dating. Maybe she is holding back a little bit because she is not sure where things stand with you. That being said, you are a guy, aren't you? If you want something, go after it!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 87 (view)
 
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 3/5/2013 7:31:27 PM
lostandfoundluv

Okay, you had me rolling on the floor with that one. LOL! Yeah, I'd love to see what he's doing with his shoe tree. Soooo funny!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Taking responsibility for your choices and your life.
Posted: 3/5/2013 6:51:26 PM
i think it depends on the circumstances. there are truly instances where people are conned, ripped off, or generally screwed over egregiously. in such situations, i do not believe in the "blame the victim" mentality. of course we are all responsible to the extent that we chose to be with someone, but to turn around and hold someone responsible for being ripped off, betrayed, etc., is ridiculous. i could hardly blame someone for leaving a jerk, but i would think less of them, however, if they did not. i think a lot of men do tend to have this kind of attitude in general. they ask a woman about her divorce or recent break up, then turn around and blame the woman for everything that happened. let's be honest here. anyone who has been through a divorce knows how difficult it can be, and often, many people end up being left in financial ruin due to a divorce, have hurt feelings, or end up with strained relationships with their children as a result. i don't see how that reflects somehow on the person left holding the bag. i'd say the person wasn't taking responsibility for the situation or his or her choices if the person didn't move on with his or her life and try to overcome the obstacles left in the way. i don't care what kind of naivety a person may have, there is no justification for a significant other to run up all the credit cards then split. i don't care how stupid someone is, there is no justification for another person to clean out the house the two of them once shared, than disappear. these types of scenarios happen to people, and i don't think it's fair to blame the person who has been victimized. such behaviors are inexcusable, regardless of how stupid, naive, or deserving the mark may have been. furthermore, if you don't want to know what someone went through in a past break up, don't ask! as for me, i don't talk about my past relationship with someone i am dating as a matter of policy. my past relationships are my past, and there is a reason why they are in my past: i have moved on.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 22 (view)
 
STD check anyone?
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:46:23 PM
my my my...what a way to start a relationship..oh wait...we aren't talking about starting a relationship but hooking up with a partner...sorry...my bad...anyway...you can catch plenty of STDs even if you use a condom...things like herpes, chlamydia...or a common yeast infection can be spread from partner to partner even with a condom...one can shed the herpes virus and not feel or show any symptoms...and one can get HPV from a guy....yes, even if you use a condom.. and guess what? men are only carriers! the vast majority of cervical cancers are caused by the HPV virus, and people are even getting throat and mouth cancer from being exposed to the HPV virus...i guess there is something to be said for monogamy...and no amount of checking outside of a full on std screening is not going to keep ya from getting something! check all you want too, but many stds are going to be invisible to the...cough....cough...naked eye...
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I need a womans help here
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:38:17 PM
look, you should have married her when you had a chance, but honestly, the outcome probably wouldn't have been much different. when you hook up with a woman this young, she will reach her mid to late 20s and start thinking that she missed something. a woman at age 18 just doesn't know what she wants out of life, and she has no real sense of who she is or who she will become. at the age of 18 the older guy seems oh so cool, but when she grows up and sees other men out there that are appealing to different aspects of herself, than she is going to want to explore that. my advice to you is to move on. if she comes back to you, than you will know that it was meant to be. at this point, the more you pursue her, the more she will pull away. you just have to let her go and you shoudl go work on yourself. go and become the man that you know you should be. push yourself to be a better person so you will be the kind a husband a woman will want to marry. make sure you will be able to provide well for a family, and make sure you are responsible and together. perhaps then she will find her way back to you and you will finally be ready.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Married
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:32:26 PM
when i was dating i was often approached by married men here on pof. there are a lot of married men on here for sure. usually they have no pic and have profiles that are incomplete or full of rather mundane blather. i even specifically stated in my profile that i did not want to be contacted by men that were married or otherwise attached. i think a person just has to be careful when doing internet dating or even dating in general. i also think that when we women reach a certain age, the pool of unmarried and interested men is much smaller. most people get married somewhere between the ages of 25 and 35, so when you are over 40 and female it's just more likely that the married men that are unhappy and looking are also going to be over 40 as well. welcome to dating over 40! just be careful who you fall for!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 83 (view)
 
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:22:28 PM
a man that loves women's shoes...hmmm...perhaps you should convince him that all of these shoes should be in your size and worn by you. maybe he should have been a shoe designer and missed his calling...who knows! but if he's willing to invest in a huge shoe collection...cough cough...worn by you...i don't see why this should be upsetting...you could have an endless supply of fine italian foot wear at your...um...toe tips...! does he have a nieman marcus credit card? that's all i want to know...lol
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 53 (view)
 
To accept children, or not to accept children? That is the question.
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:18:42 PM
do the men a favor, and stick to men that do not have children. you want it to be all about you, so perhaps you should look for daddy, however.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:08:42 PM
Trisha

I don't think age is insignificant. The incidence of age discrimination in the work place is astounding. It's common for people to be laid off when they start to approach retirement age. I've known people that were laid off in their 50s and were never able to find a job comparable to the one that they lost. In essence, their careers were over and they ended up working menial job that was far below their experience and credentials. They easily could have worked for another 10 to 15 years in their chosen field, but in our youth obssessed culture we place looks over experience and wisdom. Considering that age can have a huge impact in your life in this regard, why the hell is someone I hardly know obligated to tell me something as personal as their age? They don't know me? Why should I have to divulge my age to someone I don't know that well either? It's personal information that I should be able to share if and when I feel comfortable doing so. Of course, this isn't reality, and when you are on a dating site you have to put down your age. So, I do, but I don't like it. To me, if someone looks about the age they say they are, I don't really care if they come to me later and confess that they are a few years older. Honestly, who cares? As I said, I've seen wayyyyyyy to much age discrimination in my work life, so yeah, I don't think it's a big deal if someone is trying to protect him or herself in this regard. And I'd never....never ever ever tell someone at work my age. It's NONE of their business. I can pass for younger, so my coworkers are free to think that I am whatever age they choose. I've had people ask me, and I've had to come up with creative ways to avoid answering the question without coming across as rude...but honestly, I think it's RUDE for them to even think it's appropriate to ask!
 
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