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 Author Thread: Did I Blow It?
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Did I Blow It?
Posted: 5/12/2013 7:18:06 AM
No, you didn't blow it. If she really wanted to meet you she could have come to the adoption event. It would have been beautiful if she had also adopted a pet! You had nothing to do with her closing her account, & she didn't give you any notice either. You did the right thing by keeping your commitment to the shelter.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 57 (view)
 
CONFUSING INTENTIONS
Posted: 5/12/2013 7:11:28 AM
I ignore the profiles for friends. This is a dating site & I'm not looking for friends.
IMO, "looking for friends" means that they are looking for meaningless sex with no commitment. I don't see what else it could mean by looking for friends on a dating site. IMO, those profiles are a complete waste of time, for me.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Women Pushing 40...Or Over
Posted: 5/12/2013 7:04:36 AM
I don't see it as having fewer options. I don't have a NEED for a man. If the right one comes into my life, that's a beautiful much appreciated experience. If it doesn't happen, that's ok too. I have a career, children that love me, pets, interests & hobbies, a friends.
As far as us being easy prey, at 48, I've been taken advantage of, lied to, used for sex, & had my feelings hurt many times. At this point now, where, if a man if worthy of me, he has to prove his intentions. I don't rush into sex, if that's all he's interested in, or if he gets to touchy feely when we don't even know each other, I'm out of there. I've learned from my past experiences & I've earned that a real man who really loves & wants a relationship with a woman will demonstrate that in his words & actions. I can get meaningless sex anywhere. I don't because I value myself & I'm worth more than that.
Those who are easy prey either haven't learned from their past experiences, are desperate, or are refusing to see the red flags.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Girl finds sexual activity nasty...
Posted: 4/13/2013 3:48:26 PM
This post is all about YOU! You have not shown any consideration for this girl, or for her well being, her feelings, or what is best for her. This is all about what YOU want, it's all about how YOU feel. It's all about YOUR needs. It's all about that YOU want sex, so she should have sex with you, right now, after only knowing you for 1 month.
How insensitive of you to put all of this pressure on any woman, especially a virgin, who is clearly not ready to give herself to you after only knowing you for a month.
You saying she views sex as "nasty" puts all of the blame on her, when you are completely insensitive, self centered & inconsiderate of her & her feelings. She obviously isn't ready, & still you persist, which makes her more uncomfortable & pushes her away even more. You should have continued to date her for a few months & let things happen naturally. She is probably waiting to be in love, & you are looking at this as a physical act to satisfy your sexual needs.
I'm not a virgin & I wouldn't have sex with a man after only knowing him for 1 month.
Leave this girl alone, move on & date someone who will have sex with you right away, as this is the only thing you are interested in.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 116 (view)
 
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/13/2013 3:01:41 PM
Why are you texting I LOVE YOU's, before you met her, or even spoke to her?

Nothing was going to happen between me and her that day.
It sounds like you thought you were going to get laid.
So, she brings her badly behaved kids on a date with a complete stranger, for all she knows you could have been a criminal or a sex offender. A 3 year old & a 5 year old still drinking out of bottles?
She needs parenting classes, but they probably wouldn't work because she has lacks common sense.
She was wrong to bring the kids on the date, but I still feel sorry for her. She is young & lonely, you got her hopes up, she really wanted to meet you. She didn't have or couldn't afford a sitter & she used bad judgment bringing the kids, but it's really sad that you didn't even give her a ride home & she had to take the kids home on the subway, that's just sad.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
question
Posted: 2/24/2013 1:06:12 PM
Why hurt women and decieve them into believing your something that your not
If you knew how he really was, you would not have gone out with him, so he lied & misrepresented himself. Welcome to the world of online dating.

started cutting into me being very rude, obviously he felt the need to put me down and show out in front of everyone
He is very rude, has no social skills or dating ediquette, he needs to learn how to act, & he is obnoxious. He humiliated & disrespected you. You didn't say if he followed you out of the club or called to apologize, he doesn't sound like he hsa enough class to act like a decent person.
He does not deserve you. Your needs require a gentleman who will treat you with kindness & respect. Chalk this up to a bad experience & keep dating, there is a gentleman out there for you.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:38:49 PM
If he is sincere & wants to be with you, he will make the time instead of giving you all these excuses, & disappearing.
If you are looking for a man to date casually, on ocassion, with no strings attached, then go out with hm again but don't expect a comittment or any regular contact.
If you are looking for a boyfriend or a relationship, then he is not worth your time.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Red flag or honest mistake?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:31:18 PM
I would say red flag. They want to know how you are going to react when they become all touchy, on the 1st date when they don't even know you.
These types of guys are looking for quick sex with no strings attached, & are extremely disrespectful as they repeatedly paw you though out the date.
This is way too much information too soon. If he was a real man & a gentleman, who wanted to get to know you as possible relationship material, he would never ask you this.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Recently Had A Bad Date
Posted: 2/24/2013 11:13:18 AM
I decided to be honest with her and bluntly say "Honestly I had lousy time tonight."

You were very rude & insulting. You need to learn how to act on a date. There was no reason for you to be obnoxious & to end the date on a bad note.
She probably had a scowl on her face because you have a bad attitude & who knows what else you said to make her feel uncomfortable. You need to learn proper social ediquette.
You probably act this way in other social situations- as well.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
my horrible funny date story of the day
Posted: 2/17/2013 5:35:55 PM
There are a lot of people who misrepresent themselves, & a lot of liars out there. She was both. She is still involved in her ex & not available to date, now she's playing games. Sending you those videos is weird, a huge red flag. Who knows is she's stalking her ex, or what kind of dysfunctional relationship she has with him.
Write this off as experience move on & keep dating. After this experience, I would ask if they are still involved with the ex before you go, screen future dates in a nice way, without going into to much detail about this experience.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
last minute requests
Posted: 2/17/2013 5:19:11 PM
I need a couple of days notice, a week is better. He should text to confirm a few days before the date. That is courteous, respectful & shows he's still interested & available to go out as planned. Plans can change & things come up.
I was asked out on a date by a man in RL, he asked me to go out the following Saturday night, then I never heard back from him. I asked him to call or text a few days before. To me that's just common courtesy.
The week went by with no word from him. He texted me at 8pm the next Saturday night, saying he was figuring out what to do. I was already in my pj's, after not hearing from him all week, I thought the date was cancelled, as he never contacted me. He was rude to text & expect me at the last minute & expect me to jump.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Rushing too fast
Posted: 2/17/2013 5:00:41 PM
i did not commit to exclusively dating him now. I feel im not ready

You are not ready. Stand your ground, don't let him push you into a relationship you're not ready for. He doesn't even know you yet. And you don't know him man yet, but from what I see so far, this is a big red flag right here. Follow your gut instincts.

He told me he has never been this way with any woman before
I don't believe that. He didn't suddenly become this way. He has done this before.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 188 (view)
 
Are women with crappy cars a turn off?
Posted: 1/30/2013 6:09:31 PM
Don't be self conscience about it at all! The only thing that matters is that you have a car! It's better to have an older car then to be broke & buried in car payments you can't afford!
Ppl shouldn't be so judgemental, & if they are then that's red flag! Sometimes there is a reason ppl are driving older used cars. Maybe they are living within their means, can't afford the new car payments, live close to work & can't justify paying $400 a month to drive 10 miles a day. There are many different possible situations & reasons.
If someone is going to be that judgemental, then they are not worth your time, so don't worry about what they think.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Why misrepresent oneself??
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:58:07 PM
I fail to understand what a mere number (age) has to do with someone being attracted to you or having things in common with you

It's the whole point that they are starting what may turn into a relationship with a big lie! I dated a man who told me was 48, I was 42 at the time. He looked young, he never smoked, worked out everyday, no gray hair he was bald. I found his drivers license, laying in plain view, & he was 60 not 48! That's a huge age difference, even when confronted with the truth, he continued to lie & deny.
He turned out to be a compulsive liar, he lied about everything, his entire past history, the number of kids he had, who he was related to, his past membership in a motorcycle gang, even if it was a lie that made him look bad to others, he still misrepresented himself in a way he believed made him look interesting & respectable to others. Everything that came out of his mouth was a lie. Everything. He would attempt to cover up lie with more lies. He would incorperate me into lies he told other people, riduculous lies of things that never happened.
It's a giant red flad & a bad personality trait. If he lies about something so basic as his age, will he be honest about anything? In this case, no. He was a pathological compulsive liar.
So that's the problem, you are starting out with a lie & it only gets worse.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Why misrepresent oneself??
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:29:38 PM
Ppl think that if they meet you, you will fall in love with them & not mind the fact that they totally misrepresented themselves.
You will talk with them, & see the person on the inside, & never mind about those extra 50lbs and the mouthful of snaggle toothed yellow mess in their mouth they call teeth. The problem is, physical attraction is important to most ppl, as they don't want to be revolted by the other person.
If he was honest about the way he looked, you never would have met him. Then he still lies, this is a very disappointing situation, but it happens all the time.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Ignoring Red Flags
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:22:23 PM
Always do the meet & greet, the 10 to 30 minute meet to see if there is enough attraction to go on a date. So many problems & situations could be avoided if ppl did this.
Be careful of a guy, like that one you mentioned, who brings up sex. Not only is it extremely rude, but you are still strangers, & that shows his intentions are to use you for sex then kick you to the curb.
Watch out for man claiming to be sooo busy, he can only see you when he's at work, & claims to be busy on the weekend nights, that's a sign he is married, or has a live in g/f.
Be weary of any man who after a 1st meet wants to come over to your house or have you go to his, instead of taking you out on a date. That shows his intentions are to have sex with you, & that he is too cheap to take you out on a date. Very bad sign. A cheap man always has other bad traits, including but not limited to, being extremely self absorbed, selfish, inconsiderate, telling lies so you have to pay his way, I forgot my wallet, etc.
Just trust your intuition, so far you are doing ok!
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Trying to read the unasked question
Posted: 1/26/2013 10:09:54 AM
If a man can't take the lead & ask me out, then I'm not going to be a good fit with him. Why these men would suggest these places, then not ask you to go, is ridiculous! If a man can't suggest a place then ask you to meet him there is just crazy to me. I wouldn't waste any time on a man like that. You have been talking & communicating, so there should be no problem.
Maybe they are looking for a woman to do everything for them, or they are cheap, so they are waiting for you to ask them, hoping you'll pay for them or something. There is something really wrong & I wouldn't waste any time on a man like that.

Refer back to the post by :You make it entertaining", she has good advice about the meet & greet.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 138 (view)
 
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/26/2013 9:52:36 AM
I think a lot of it depends on the area where you are living. Believe it or not, even in this day & age, in some places, interracial dating between white/black is still not accepted.
Families & friends frown on it, & some will be disowned by them if they participate in it. If you're in a more liberal area I think it would be easier, than in a more conservative area. Where that area is, I'm not sure. I didn't read your profile so I don't know where you live, but I have a friend from Detoit & she told me interracial dating is common there.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 156 (view)
 
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 1/26/2013 9:35:25 AM
If a person really wants to be with another, they will make the time. They say they don't have the time, because they don't want to make the time. If they met the right person, their busy schedules would suddenly open up to see them.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Should I Be Suspicious?
Posted: 1/26/2013 9:30:12 AM
No, you shouldn't be concerned with his not dating for 5 years. Why is this even an issue?
You haven't even met him yet, & you are already looking for a problem, issue or a reason for there to be something "wrong" with him. Why aren't you looking at the nice things about him, & instead focusing on a non issue? If I was going out with him, I wouldn't even think of that. That is just plain silly.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
I think I have doen something rather stupid
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:54:59 AM
It hurts to be rejected. Leave him alone, don't contact him again, erase all of his info so you won't be tempted. People who have been rejected have lashed out in many worse ways than that, so stop beating yourself up over this. All you did was send him a message that wasn't mean in nature, no big deal, just don't do that again.
Who knows what his problem is? If he didn't like you, why did he spend 8 hours with you? Maybe he's out for sex wth no strings attached, maybe he's a player, maybe he's married. The possibilites are endless. Move on don't waste any more time. There is a nice man out there for you, you just haven't met him yet...
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Drinking While On A Date
Posted: 1/26/2013 6:38:37 AM
It's fine to have a few drinks on a date. It helps you to relax, & calms the nerves. I don't drink that much, usually 2 drinks max, any more & I feel sick the next day. As long as it's a few drinks, in moderation, there's no harm done. It's unattractive to be drunk, especially when first impressions are so important. I don't want to see anyone getting pulled over on the way home, or being impaired when it's time to leave. You're having dinner too, absorbing the alcohol, so you're just fine having a few drinks.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is it me or is he just a flake?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:04:30 PM
Should I just break down and try to call him?

NO! You have already done too much texting! You also texted him late, waking him up.
I think you tried too hard, next time be a bit of a challenge, men love a challenge. At least give him a chance to breathe, & stop all of the constant texting!
You were the one doing all the persuing, Next time, back off, let him take the lead, you don't have to chase him. If he wants to be with you, he'll find a way to spend time with you. Men love a challenge, & you chased this guy down. When a woman persues a man, it leads to a broken heart. Learn from this & next time don't chase the man down.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Am I unreasonable?
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:43:36 PM
I did not think such a shirt was appropriate for a fist meeting, maybe cleaning out the sewer, He drinks like a girl.

That's so funny!
He's a drunk. Who sends a text at 2am? That's also very rude & disrepectful, I would be angry if I got a text at that hour, waking me up.
You have a right to be picky & to reject this drunken bottom feeder.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Is her profile fake?
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:36:46 PM
Everyone has a cell phone, & he said she can't even meet you for coffee, so why is she even on here? Move on, probably a fake profile anyways.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Should I just leave her alone?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:19:09 PM
When you met, it seems that she didn't either find you attractive or feel any chemistry. That's ok, it happens all the time. Moving on was the right thing to do, if she really wanted to go out with you, she would have said yes, not maybe.
Her asking you for rides, you are not a taxi. I would cut ties completely, let her find somene else to chauffer
her butt around.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 64 (view)
 
How to easily find fake profiles
Posted: 1/22/2013 5:59:25 PM
Thank you for posting this. I wonder about the people who put up fake profiles, I mean, don't they have anything else to do? Are they that bored or pathetic?
I had a young guy on here who contacted me, he had these model like pics, I asked him to send a few other pics, he claimed he didn't have anymore, so I suspected he was a fake.
They ruin it for the sincere ppl on here who honestly want to find someone. I wish they would stay off the site.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Walking in on a date in the bathroom?
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:38:22 AM
He has serious boundry issues, but why did you sleep over at his house of you don't know him very well? I wouldn;t tolerate anyone walking in on me in the bathroom. Why didn't you lock the door? The only one who ever comes into the bathroom with me is my cat, lol.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 210 (view)
 
Am I the jerk or was she? My worst first date...
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:32:29 AM
First of all, I think it was a mistake asking her out with your friends there. You should have taken her out on a date just the 2 of you.
She shouldn't have invited her friends along, & it was wrong of her to ask you to drive far & out of your way to pick her up.
The story gets worse as it goes on. You pay for everything while she ignores you.
In this case, you are not the jerk. She didn't even sit by you after you paid for way in. She was rude & ignorant. She used you like you are a taxi cab for her & her friends. You treated her like a true gentleman, & she was very rude, disrespected & ignorned you. You were in the right to leave.
Many years ago, I got set up on a blind date with a guy, who turned out to be about 5 feet tall, I'm 5'5, & he claimed he was a male model. He was very arrogant & totally in love with himself. I drove, we went to a bar, & he left me alone by myself & didn;t say one word to me. He went off & ignorned me. His friend, disgusted by his behavior, told me he was hitting on another girl. I had enough, & I got in my car to go home. I still remember him runnng after my car, yelling at me to stop, that he needed a ride home.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 111 (view)
 
What is a man to provide for you?
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:05:42 AM
The kinds of things for a man to provide are, love, stabilty, security, being there when you need him, doing what he says he will do, that alone helps to build trust. Also, friendship, being there to talk to. Be kind, & a nice person.
I also like getting small tokens of appreciation especially on special occasions, like my Bday, that is an absolute must. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it's important that you show your love & appeciation for me in that way. I love getting flowers, I do a lot for my man, & it's nice when he shows that he appreciates me too. Flowers are an inexpensive way to show love & appreciation, & means so much to get them, there is something so special about that.
As far as financial, I don't need a man to support me, but if we co habitated, I would expect him to contribute. I'm not going to financially support any man.

Men seem to think that if a woman has a child still living at home, she is looking for a provider.
I agree with this, I've had this experience. They couldn't be more wrong, but this is often the assuption. I provided for my 2, raised them by myself without child support after their father abandonded the family.

 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Need help getting over her.
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:45:08 PM
You're young & this is your first break up. Nothing hurts more than that. You're going to fall in love & have your heart broken a few times, this is a normal part of life. Everyone goes thru these things, you're not alone. Not every relationship is going to work out. That's ok, because ultimately, it will lead you to the love of your life.
Stop all contact with her. Stop calling, texting, remove her from facebk. Trust me, time will heal your broken heart. Give yourself that time to heal.
In the meantime, hang out with your friends, get involved in a hobby of don't have one. Start an excercise program, it will improve your mood. When your thoughts drift towards her, force yourself to think of something else.
Your driving yourself crazy contacting her all the time. You can't force someone to love you.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/4/2013 5:01:44 PM
Your age settings are whatever you feel comfortable with.
Mine are from 26 to 60, because I have made several friends on here, from all age levels, & we correspond frequently.
IMO, after age 30, an age difference of a decade really doesn't make a difference. I don't think a 51 year old woman is too old for you, if you are comfortable with that.
I think she is telling you her age, to see if you're ok with it. If she thought you really were too young for her, she wouldn't have sent you the message. She wants to make sure you're ok with her age.
Your settings should be wide ranging, see who contacts you & then decide if you want to respond to the message.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
sexy texts,...how much is too much?
Posted: 1/4/2013 4:32:49 PM
I would not return the text when he starts sexting.
Tell him you don't appreciate that kind of talk (text). If he stops the contact, that shows he was only after sex, not a loving monogamous relationship. In other words, you're ok to have sex with but not good enough to be a g/f. You are better off without this type of guy.
I gave a man my number, I met him thru work, & I expected him to call to ask me out for a date. Instead, he started sexting. I was so disappointed, completely turned off, & my opinion of him reached rock bottom. I ignored him completely. After a while, he texted, is something wrong? I texted that I don't appreciate messages like that, & I'm a relationship girl not a sexting or casual sex girl. He didn't bother me after that.

Edit, I thought you meant text messages to a phone, not messages on here. If that happens on here, just delete/block.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Moving on after 3 Strikes
Posted: 1/1/2013 3:27:51 PM
OP is upset over being single 18 months?? I have been single for 5 years. If you don't want to make another mistake, don't rush to relationship...hold out for the right person, not the available person.

I totally agree. 18 months is nothing OP. I've been single & celibate for years. If I don't meet anyone worth dating, that's ok. I like my life, I'm ok being single. I'm alone in that respect, but not lonely. I also have my kids who live with me & I work full time, so I don't have time to dwell on not being in a relationship. If I get involved it has to be the right man. Hold out for quality. And don't make the amount of time you've been single an issue.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Moving on after 3 Strikes
Posted: 1/1/2013 3:18:07 PM
You have to get out there & start socializing. If you don't have a hobby, get involved in something you think you will enjoy doing. Message me if you want to start gardening, I can help you with that.
We've all made mistakes in relationships, if anyone denies that they're lying. If you meet someone new, look for the warning signs. If you see them, you'll know it's time to bail & not get too involved. Dating is always a risk. Just because you've made mistakes in the past, doesn't mean your future is doomed. As long as you learn from your mistakes, you'll be ok, & maybe meet the right man for you.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Being stood up
Posted: 1/1/2013 2:11:59 PM
When was the last time you had communication before the date? I would have texted, are we still on for 4pm?
I advise that for any future meets, so they know it's still on. Unfortuately, some ppl are Aholes & ay say yes! Then not show up. It's a dating risk.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Not sure if I'm overreacting to this situation or not
Posted: 12/31/2012 3:32:45 PM
was tagged in a picture where he was a groomsman at a wedding and she commented on how his pants made it look like he was "packing."

A agree, totally inappropriate, & why is she on his facebk?

I could hear her screaming at him through his phone and he looked very concerned and more or less had to talk her down to get her calm.
It sounds like an argument with a jealous lover. He has serious boundry issues. He shouldn't have parents on his facebk, & him living in a bad neighborhood to be near his students is not normal neither. He sees them enough in school & shouldn't be socializing with parents or students on his free time.
There are some huge waving red flags here about this guy. I would preceed with extreme caution if you chose to take the relationship to a deeper level with him.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Dating younger men
Posted: 12/30/2012 2:26:46 PM
I would love to date a younger man. I get all the much older men messaging me, in their 50's & 60's.
I'm not attracted to older men at all. Most have beer bellies & gray hair.
I had one younger guy contact me, he claimed to be in is 20's. too young for me, & I suspect he had a fake profile.
A man in his 30's or maybe early 40's would be perfect for me. I don't look or feel my age, & I'd love to date a younger man, who has hair, is in shape & attractive.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Should I ask him to marry me.
Posted: 12/30/2012 1:06:19 PM
Why would you ask him to marry you? He says you're friends. He doesn't desire you sexually. I don't understand why you think marriage is a good idea. Most married ppl have sex, by the way. Am I missing something here? Are you desperate or lonely?
If you want to marry, then you need to move on from ths friendship & start dating men who desire you, who have the same feelings towards you, this man doesnt have feelings for you.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How would you interpret this scenario?
Posted: 12/30/2012 12:10:40 PM
Why does that make you feel uncomfortable? You are making a lot of drama out of a friendly gesture.
Are you interested in her? If so, go back, & give her your phone number on a piece of paper. If she calls you, ask her out on a date. What is the purpose of this thread?
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
My Ex-Girlfriend Had A Kid
Posted: 12/30/2012 11:51:01 AM
but for some reason she could never say that she loved me back... I always told her that she was probably just scared to say (because she had been hurt by somebody else before).

She didn't say it because she didn't love you, & you're still in denial.

told her that i was willing to help take care of her kid, and she said that she does see us together,
Now that she has this huge responsibility, the bio Dad doesn't seem to be in the picture or paying child support, now she loves you?

This relationship has run it's course. You are not allowing yourself to get over her. You keep torturing yourself & you refuse to let go. You must let go! Allow your broken heart to mend & move on to a nice girl who loves you back! One day you'll look back on this & you'll be glad you're out of this mess. Start a family of your own, stop trying to play Dad to her child. She doesn't want you.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
should I stop trying?
Posted: 12/30/2012 11:33:28 AM
Stop wasting time & move on. A man that wants to be with you will find a way, & nothing will stop him. Are you the one who is always calling him & making the plans? If you are, stop contacting him, give things a rest. Start dating someone who is interested in you & wants to spend time with you.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
boundries with friends
Posted: 12/30/2012 10:35:49 AM
Your friend needs to get out & make her own friends. You're not obligated to invite her anywhere with you. Making her way into your circle of friends is weird.
In my 20's, I was friends with a girl, we are still friends to this day. I met many new friends through her. I never hung out with any of these ppl, but I saw them when I was invited out with her. Your friend has serious boundry issues. You're not making your way into her circle of married friends! Doesn't she have her own friends? She has the nerve to complain when you go out for a nice dinner, then she doesn't have to go! She has no right to control what you choose to do!
I would distance myself from her, stop the invites, & for damage control, ask your friends to not accept her friend requests on facebk. If you want to end this "friendship" as them to defriend her. Explain to them you feel uncomfortable with them inviting her, & ask them not to do that anymore. You need to distance yourself from her.
She has a husband, they are well off financially, but very cheap. She is all out for herself. If she really cared for you as a friend, she would have helped you out or offered to help you with the deductable because you've done so much for her. Her actions prove right there she is nothing but a user.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Can't get a word in edge-ways ...
Posted: 12/29/2012 9:37:20 AM
Interupters are a huge turn off & pet peeve on mine!! They interupt because they have bad manners & are not listening to anything you have to say! You try to say something, then they interupt & go one about how that reminds them, of something related to them. It's all me me me. I get so aggravated with ppl like that!
Maybe the guy was just nervous, but more likely he has terrible commuication skills, or non at all. Maybe that's why he's single, from going on babbeling like that, completely turning off all prospective dates.
I hope this is not the norm, if it is, we're all going to remain single!
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 204 (view)
 
No sex in a long time .. good or bad?
Posted: 12/29/2012 9:25:59 AM
I haven't had sex in 4 years.
I'm a relationship girl, I need that emotional connection. I'm not going to be used for sex, then thrown away like a piece of garbage afterward. If we're intimate, we truely love & care for each other, & we are in an exclusive relationship. I don't just have sex with anyone, if it's meaningless sex, than what's the point?
When I'm out, & a man makes it obvious he's out for casual sex, sex with no strings, a hook up, it makes me recoil. That is not for me.
I haven't been out there on the dating scene, meeting new ppl. I go to work 5 days, then I stay home most weekends. I like to be home. If I got out more I would possibly have a b/f.
I don't want to be hurt again, I don't want my heart broken again. I just want to meet a decent guy who wants to be in a relationship with me. To be my friend & my lover.
A nice guy, that I find to be physically attractive, that will love me, is that too much to ask? Is there anyone like that out there for me?
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 176 (view)
 
36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 12/26/2012 1:34:36 PM
Go for it! I would!
It can work if both people are on the same page. By that I mean have things in common, have a desire to make it work & have a strong desire to be together. Don't worry about him having kids, maybe he doesn't want any. Neither or you knows what the future will bring. Just focus on the here & now, and girl, have fun!
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Invited to Holiday Dinner???
Posted: 12/26/2012 12:42:42 PM
The host was making a joke of her dogs that vomited a little on the couch and was joking that I threw up on the couch and why did I do it. She yelled at me because she tipped over my egg nog that she told me to put on the small stool with hers. It was one thing after another
Does she think it's funny to humiliate you like that? You don't have to take that abuse from anyone.

it was difficult to add anything to the conversation without being nudged by her. We got into a conversation about eating right and I just commented that "eating right is important to us" and I was nudged.
She's so rude, ill mannered, controlling, condesending, & you should have nudged her back hard. She treats yu like you are a social misfit.

it was expensive for the dressing which included anchovy paste and capons, something I will never use again.
I would have told her I won't be making this, its too expensive. I wouldn't even know where to buy capers, whatever they are.

The host ripped off the lettuce garnish and one person besides myself had some.
She's disrespectful & a liar, as you found out when no one ate this expensice dish.

Why do you call this person your friend? Be nice, find out where te New Years party is, go to the party, get email addresses & phone numbers from those you like & would like to see. Put them in your phone book so you won't lose them. Then get together with the ppl you like & distance yourseld from this loser. For some reason, she feels she has a license to abuse you. When you see her, be cordial, take the high road, but don't let her close to you again. She needs to learn how to act.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 95 (view)
 
A question of money
Posted: 12/26/2012 9:21:16 AM
I had a date about two months ago where he asked me out and we agreed to go to a diner. He insisted then he was not hungry, ordered water, but still wanted to sit and talk and seemed unconcerned about the fact we were eating up a 2.13 pr hour employee's time. When it came to pay I looked at him, he looked at me, and I pulled out my money and left a 10 on a 4 dollar tab. He told me he would have paid but he only had a 100.

He meant he only had 100 pennies. What a miserly cheap, lying, inconsiderate, ill mannered, undateable idiot. Who ever invites pays, that's basic manners & ediquette. I hope you didn't waste any more time with this guy.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Mixed signals!
Posted: 12/25/2012 10:59:36 AM
However we have remained close and on good terms, and have met up quite a bit since
So after he slept with the co worker, you took him back & now you are a FWB or a FB. It's never a good idea to involved with a co worker. It's also very incomfortable to have to see that person on a daily basis in that setting after a break up.
Lose this guy. Get out there & meet a nice guy who wants a relationship & will be mature & faithful. This guy is a user & a player.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 89 (view)
 
A question of money
Posted: 12/25/2012 10:44:51 AM
The guy is a weirdo, I hope you dropped him. He offered t pay & told you to put your wallet away, then complained about it. You did nothing wrong.
I had a date with a guy in my profession, I thought he was blue collar/working class like me. He asked me out to dinner, he picked the restaurant, which was a nice place. All he did during the dinner was brag about his family's wealth, that he doesn't have to work but does out of boredon, he's really a millionaire, etc. That was a total turnoff in itself. He was very rude & obnoxious.
Then he called me up & complained about how much money he spent on the dinner & drinks.
I never went out with him again, what a bad mannered azz & a weirdo too.
 
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