Domestic Violence chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Domestic Violence

charleneann

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 285 (view)

Domestic Violence Posted: 7/3/2008 7:03:14 AM
How about some tough love here.... I was abused about the same way(rather not go into details).. after the abuse When I got home to my Moms.. with a small son from the marriage... I had to decide.. would I be a victim or would I heal and be strong for my son and myself.... My suggestion is you try what I did.. I joined martial arts... you need to join something like that.. you need to get a hobby or something that will change your environment.. for me martial arts.. helped me get over the shakes and rocking back and forth when ever people raised their voices.( YEAH ... He hurt me REALLY BAD for two and a half years!) It gave me the knowledge that no one else was going to repeatedly hurt me or have the chance even once anymore.. and when my son got old enough.. I taught him. You my dear need to take some responsibility for your actions.. you have classic signs... you need to break the cycle of violence... YOU KNOW THIS... I am going to ask a dumb question.. why are you on a dating site.. if your are needing time to discover who you are again.. you cant do that if you run into another relationship.. honestly.. you need ME time. I only ask the tough questions because honestly you need to ask them yourself, and I am just trying to help here. DO YOU HONESTLY THINK HE WILL CHANGE AFTER ALL THIS?... you know the answer in your head.. not your heart... NO he wont.. he likes the POWER over you. IS THE REASON YOUR HOLDING ON BECAUSE YOUR AFRAID TO BE ALONE... Probably.. he told you your dumb, ugly, stupid and no one will love you... TYPICAL abuser technique!!! Crushing yourself esteem helped him stay in control. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST... BUT THIS A JOURNEY YOU NEED TO MAKE ALONE HUN.. NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.. YOU JUST HAVE TO DECIDE TO STOP ALLOWING HIM TO HURT YOU.. EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND I WOULD GUESS SEXUALLY. MUCH LOVE AND GOD BLESS!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

This is too freaky!!!! Posted: 10/19/2007 12:42:31 PM
Keep the number and collect information on him IN CASE anything should go wrong hun!!!! Honestly.. be careful..... if he sees you as a blue plate special... he doesn't care about the fact your human... and to make it worst... the fact he would stalk you outside the store.. you should have a MALE MANAGER come with you to tell him NO THANK YOU next time he comes in... His behavior isn't normal...

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Does He have a slow death wish? Posted: 10/19/2007 11:07:17 AM
I walked away the minute he started the whole smoking thing..as minutes before he snapped at me about his sugar intake. I am not hurting the kids by NOT deciding, because I walked away the instant I realized what he was doing.... But I am worried about them, and what BS he is telling them. So I am out of the picture, They hopefully didn't get that attached to me.... and I am praying they're going to be Ok.. HE is an adult and can make his own choices... No one can change that, I just hope He will see the choices he is making are Selfish and hard on His Kids. I came here cause I needed to check my reality on this one.. I am fighting the fact I know he is using emotional blackmail involving his kids, and The kids getting hurt in this is what is KILLING me. chalk it up to protective nature .... Sigh... so will the guys assuming I am the bad guy.... Chill. I am not saying he is a monster.. I am not saying he doesn't need help.. I am saying I chose to not get myself tangled in with a man who I didn't know that well obviously and would lead ME as well as his family down a dark path... I have enough battle scars......I have survived that battle before. Thank you all for the support...

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Does He have a slow death wish? Posted: 10/17/2007 11:45:05 PM
If you think relationships are easy with or with out kids, I suggest you get your tubes tied. I am aware relationships are tough.. but why would you expect a woman to stay for someone else's kids? To sign on to a dysfunctional relationship, where you would take on raising children that would resent you for asking them to do homework, clean rooms and be normal productive kids???? To sign on for a man who would resent you for trying to take care of him? To sign on to adopting three kids when your mate has self inflected Illnesses because he doesn't give a crap???? I have a 19 year old son.. who is in college right now.. I have successfully raised a child, didn't date while raising him, didn't drink in front of him... and worked extra jobs to make sure he had what he needed.... so DON'T tell me about being a parent!!! To take these kids on CORRECTLY would mean a hell of a lot of sacrifice.... sacrifices HE isn't willing to make himself! Sigh* I am feeling like crap about the kids.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Does He have a slow death wish? Posted: 10/17/2007 11:26:43 PM
Not a question of leaving.... and I did contact his oldest to tell him that this had NOTHING to do with them, and everything to do with his Dad. I left it at that. I feel bad for the kids, and THAT is what is bugging the hell out of me. He made a big deal about introducing his kids on the second date.. which I tried to fight... not knowing where this would lead..... They seemed used to women being paraded through there lives.... Not my style. He won't even admit he needs to simply monitor his diabetes.. how can you convince him to get therapy? HE would just tell me I am the one messed up.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

Does He have a slow death wish? Posted: 10/17/2007 11:12:27 PM
OK,....Someone help me out... A nice man who has kids... and is diabetic.... so all of a sudden He starts to SMOKE.... and GETS pissed when reminded he shouldn't be eating sweets, drinking regular soda and forgetting to test his blood sugar and worse forgetting his insulin. He is looking for a woman to mother his kids ( great kids.. but they NEED structure and stability)... he is looking for a woman to MAKE him do what he has too... I decided to tell him.. HE needs to deal with his own issues before subjecting a woman to resentment because she TELLS him what to do.... Ladies are looking for a nice man who cares... but does he really care if he acts this way? He also tends to try the emotional black mail card... " The poor me, No one loves me syndrom"! No woman wants to be an Instant mother because he has slipped into an insulin coma or has gotten lung cancer... That isn't fair to ask of anyone. BTW three teenage children (11-15 years old) are involved here...also some bad parenting habits are a concern here as well...... Hate to think I am wrong on my gut feelings... could use some input here... Thanks!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Do you think a 20 year old dating a 17 year old is wrong? Posted: 10/9/2007 7:09:47 PM
Sigh* Just be careful.. her maturity level is different than yours and your probably looking at different things in life.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

I'm CrUsHiN oN sOmEoNe WhO iS aLrEaDy TaKeN! Posted: 9/25/2007 4:41:16 PM
ok... but YOU KNOW there is a relationship.. next time he does the flirt thing.. REMIND him he has a girlfriend, SEE what he says.. if he gives you the "SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME" line RUN LIKE HELL.. If he backs down.. then he isn't going anywhere, He just might say to you he NEEDS someone to talk to as well. BUT DONT GO AGAINST WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE TRUE!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

I'm CrUsHiN oN sOmEoNe WhO iS aLrEaDy TaKeN! Posted: 9/25/2007 4:39:20 PM
ok... but YOU KNOW there is a relationship.. next time he does the flirt thing.. REMIND him he has a girlfriend, SEE what he says.. if he gives you the "SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME" line RUN LIKE HELL.. If he backs down.. then he isn't going anywhere, He just might say to you he NEEDS someone to talk to as well. BUT DONT GO AGAINST WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE TRUE!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Smothering, personal time, and am I being unreasonable? Posted: 9/13/2007 6:02:53 PM
I think I understand why she feels this way.... IF you need time away like this your NOT the marrying type.. how could you be married and STILL Expect to have a full day and night to yourself.... Her reaction might be from the worry you wont be able to commit to a long term relationship....meaning there is no future.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 122 (view)

How Would You React? Posted: 9/11/2007 7:27:49 AM
Aren't you too mature to be raising a middle aged man who thinks he is a boy allowed to chase skirts? I read the first few posts.. I can't Believe you are still entertaining the thought of associating with this man.... if so Your accepting his treatment. So I wish you the best.. and I wash my hands of this...

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 100 (view)

Was I too passionate for a first date? Posted: 9/10/2007 11:28:29 PM
She did seem a little reluctant at my over zealousness because she did turn her head away a few times so I'm wondering if I may have carried things a bit too far? You just answered your own question... Change places with her, you basically used your body language to make her feel threatened. ... You were being aggressive in your attentions resulting in her being reluctant. No matter how much your feeling for her you need to Really understand that Slapping a women you just met on the butt is too far. YOU don't really KNOW the poor woman and your acting like she doesn't deserve common respect and decent treatment?!?! The minute she Turned away for the first time you should have down shifted to First gear.. now you may have blown it! I would suggest you see it from a womans point of view.. did you drive? She may have been worried she would be stranded... are you a Lot large than her? she may had been intimidated.... GEESH DONT YOU GUYS THINK... And men wonder why women get so cautious..... I apologized and told her that I'm not usually like that but that when I see something I like I go after it (in so many words). MEANING SHE HAS NO RIGHTS ... IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE YOU.. YOU WOULD HAVE ACTED THE SAME.. I THINK SHE SHOULD AVOID YOUR SELFISH SORRY ASS AND BE GLAD SHE DOESN'T HAVE A BLACK BELT YOU WOULD HAVE ENDED IN A HOSPITAL PROBABLY... I WOULD HAVE PUT YOU THERE!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 27 (view)

Living in a loveless relationship and cheating Posted: 9/6/2007 5:08:00 PM
AREN'T YOU DOING THE SAME THING UNTIL YOUR DIVORCED?????? Just being logical... your still married and your talking and looking at other women... so why are you doing it? Let me guess you met a woman who wants her cake and to eat it too, right??? Well....Aren't you doing the same thing in a way.... NO.. staying in a loveless relationship and cheating is VERY wrong BUT trying to justify by saying someone else is a shade worse than you... IS Stupid! Wrong IS Wrong!!! SHRUGS

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

I feel like I'm dying inside Posted: 9/6/2007 7:00:27 AM
I hate to say this.. but you weren't true to yourself. You when it killed you that he talked about other women.. you should have been honest!!! When he said He still loved you You should have questioned why he would say that and yet hurt you that way... You my dear were willing to except scraps of affect and love from a man who wasn't willing to place that precious gift on the top of his list. The reason it hurts more IS you now have to face the reality HE doesn't place you first.. and his "we can be together in the future is bullshit. I WANT YOU TO STOP AND THINK... YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU NOT MESS WITH YOUR EMOTIONS!!!! You need to know in your heart you are worth more than some ass telling you I love you so much I am going to date every other woman I can find but you!!!!!! Walk away and heal..... He is a user!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 110 (view)

Long Term Affair ... Will We Ever Be Together? Posted: 9/4/2007 6:32:31 PM
Reading some of the responses.... it is easy to see some women here have lost there moral compass, what the OP is doing isn't right. Socially or morally, she is doesn't see anything wrong. 5 years this has been going on.... sad thing is she might have exposed her kid to this guy.... while she has a husband.....Thats RIGHT OP SCREW YOUR KID UP TOO!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 176 (view)

Helping himself to my computer............... Posted: 9/3/2007 4:49:33 PM
EVEN IF she didn't sleep with him.. she trusted him in her personal space.. so it was up to her to protect anything she didn't want him rifling though....Unplugging a computer... was subtle... but she obviously didn't know him well enough to understand subtle hints didn't work.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 161 (view)

Helping himself to my computer............... Posted: 9/2/2007 4:40:27 PM
Let me get this straight.... You give someone free reign of your home, I am assuming after you slept with him.. and your upset about someone purposely touching your computer... You should be thankful he didn't call a buddy and ransack your house!!!! How completely dumb are you? He could have just as well looked up all your bank info and taken any valuables you have... not to mention peeing in your plants and dancing around in your underwear..... IF YOU TRUST SOMEONE ENOUGH TO LET THE ROAM YOUR HOUSE... YOU SHOULD BE OK WITH ANYTHING BEING USED IN THAT HOME... ITS CALLED TRUST and you HAVE heard of password protect I am sure????.. duh!!!! summary: YOU LET A MAN USE YOUR BODY BUT NOT YOUR COMPUTER.. THOSE ARE SOME F**KED UP PRIORITIES....

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 48 (view)

How Would You React? Posted: 9/2/2007 11:49:50 AM
You did not behave as a jealous child.. you behaved like a woman who was being treated impolitely.. he was passing notes to other ladies which is rude if he is escorting you and your guest. I personally would have smiled sweetly , and used the rose to wipe up a spill or something to that nature.. IT wasn't special to him, I wouldn't allow it to be special to me. I might have gone as far as to politely make arrangements for him to have someone else see that he makes it to his hotel room. I would have smiled politely said my farewells, collected my things and walked out. As for his fathers death... He should have passed on going out if he wasn't up to being in public. I would avoid dating this man in the future... your a lady and should be treated as such.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 59 (view)

Long Term Affair ... Will We Ever Be Together? Posted: 9/2/2007 11:31:16 AM
He chased after me. I had no idea he was married when the affair started. He gave me this sob story that his wife was horrible to him. The same lines many married men use. Let me say this.. ONCE you found out he HAD a wife you should have walked away.. that My wife doesn't understand me Bullchit.. should be answered with" that makes two of us that don't understand you NOW!!! Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya!!!!!"

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 243 (view)

Do you ever get jealous? Posted: 9/2/2007 11:08:41 AM
YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING... GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 24 (view)

Thought we were in a relationship Posted: 9/2/2007 11:05:04 AM
OUCH!!!!! I am sorry that happened to you... You are in the clear.. she has not been honest with you! You need to sit down talk to her and either end it or she stops dating and playing the field.. the fact she is dating others signals that you AREN'T the one.. or she would have stopped dating Others!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 75 (view)

3 in the morning and all is lost Posted: 9/2/2007 10:55:48 AM
I'm embarrassed for you. I realize there is a whole string of ladies sympathizing, but at the end of the day you will still be you and they will still be looking for the next big story they can subject themselves to. TOO TRUE... how many ladies here would actually date this man in the state he is in? I mean honestly.. your (OP) getting positive attention( for yourself) but in a very negative way. Whining and moaning about lost love and being screwed over... will make a woman want to help, but NOT one if them is stupid enough to place themselves in harms way to take you on in a romantic capacity. Get a therapist, work it out... and then when your healed and strong... try to meet the right one. starts to walk away when a question hits me like a ton of bricks WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON A DATING SITE IF YOUR SO MESSED UP IN THE FIRST PLACE?

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

3 in the morning and all is lost Posted: 9/2/2007 9:49:11 AM
Samfool, I am not trying to kick you while your down buddy, but you need to get some serious help. One the poetic phrasing... is just awful... you are opening up yourself to people who (me included) think you may just be a drama queen....you need to really just talk about your feelings, to someone trained, I would suggest a therapist.. as you said this has happened more than once.. you have unresolved issues and as for WHO.... That is scary.. You are looking to replace something you lost.. with something that doesn't exist. YOU need to help yourself, love yourself and care for yourself.. before you should even entertain the thought of another person entering your life. There is no magic pill, no one true love, no perfect person who will heal you!!!! That come with your own hard work and time! I wish you all the best.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 456 (view)

Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It? Posted: 9/2/2007 9:29:24 AM
One a first date you politely turn off your ringer on your cell phone then excuse yourself to the restroom IF you feel the need to check messages. Never interrupting the date... Also a cell on a first date is very important what should happen if that date turned criminal and you need assistance? FOR GOD SAKE...Take it with you just don't be rude about it and make sure it remains on.. for GPS.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 239 (view)

Do you ever get jealous? Posted: 9/2/2007 9:03:09 AM
Look, you cant hold a person who doesn't WANT to be held.. but that is no excuse for that person to disrespect you in public either... So I am out and someone starts to flirt with him, I expect him to politely turn her away. IF he doesn't it isn't jealousy, it is a sign that his disrespect for my feelings that need to be discussed and resolved, up to and including termination of the relationship. I wait to speak to him privately. No Anger.. and YES I will watch to make it clear to him EVERY slight he has managed during that incident.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 166 (view)

How to recognize an Abusive person? Posted: 9/2/2007 8:38:26 AM
they may start to be controlling... Change your hair , your clothes, you should look like this or that... They will try to isolate you, from friends.. family and social circles. They will say things just on the verge of hurtful at first to test boundaries... " you shouldn't have made that choice you have no fashion sense." The will also try to convince you THEY know what is best for you, trust their judgment over your own. Then they become more aggressive if you give in...and if you Hold your personal boundaries, They usually END the relationship.... as they know they cant get to you mentally. ABUSERS are generally cowards.... They will pick on those weaker than themselves.. but place them toe to toe with an equal or greater individual.... They usually lose the taste for a FAIR fight. LAST BUT LEAST.... IF YOUR BEING ABUSED IN ANYWAY... GET HELP! Anyone you makes you feel less than them, anyone who would hurt you physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually, anyone who doesn't respect you as a human with rights and needs... Is probably a varying degree of abuser.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 159 (view)

tell me girls is it shallow to not date someone because they have bad teeth? Posted: 9/1/2007 2:08:33 PM
ok.. umm no it isn't.... how someone cares for their teeth tells you how they care for themselves

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 92 (view)

I’m separated … is this a problem to get a new love… with out divorce???? Posted: 8/30/2007 7:16:48 AM
ok... look... as long as your separated.. your STILL MARRIED!!!! Most women want to know the man they are dating could actually pop the question. Your also legally still connected... and that could be a turn off, not to mention the fact there is a chance you are emotionally holding on since you haven't filed for divorce yourself! Clear your business and start fresh... don't make the NEW love of your life deal with your divorce and holding your hand through it.... That makes it seem that your not strong enough to handle your business by yourself, and it makes Her Think about how a divorce would go between you two before you are even available to marry.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 171 (view)

she killed my baby Posted: 8/25/2007 2:38:27 PM
I would like to be the first to say I am sorry.. I didn't know you were married, forgive me that.. and in a committed relationship.. she had no right to make a single decision on the life of your (both of yours) child...and as for changing your life... acceptance is a good thing and you have actually gone further.. in preparing yourself to be the best father you can be.... I applaud that! Just remember NOT EVERY MAN is like you and Many men in todays world have wounded and abandoned many a woman and child. Sad but true. That doesn't justify abortion.. but it explains the fear of pregnancy. All the best.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 33 (view)

Unlovable ???? Posted: 8/25/2007 2:08:53 PM
Roni... Hun.. you are being hard on yourself.. OK.. so you are having body image issues.. so do some things to change how you feel about your body hun, but in the mean time... straight out.. there are men out there who are ACTUALLY turned on by a robust body... I dated a guy long ago that fed me anything he could that was rich, and sweet.. and THEN I understood... when I found some mags.. at his place with BBW'S all over them NUDE!!!! I almost had a fit.... Not because of the mags.. but the fact he was trying to fatten me up.... AND I am NOT SKINNY.. by no means... YOU need to change some things.... walk a little more a day.. take the stairs not the elevator.. eat more fresh fruits and veggies.... drink water..... take small steps... make lasting changes.. and get into a support group, even if it is a group of ladies that want to lose... have someone who you can talk too....to be there when your not strong enough hun.. find a walking buddy.... and love yourself... sweetheart... life isn't easy, but you have to be happy with what you make of it. I WILL START... RONI... I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE... YOUR A WONDERFUL PERSON, YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART. WOUNDED, BUT A BEAUTIFUL HEART! YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES, A GREAT SMILE AND PRETTY HAIR. YOU HELP PEOPLE AT WORK, SOLVE PROBLEMS.. THAT MEANS YOU CARE!!! I KNOW YOU ARE HURTING AND YOU CAN ALWAYS CONTACT ME ... WHEN YOU NEED A SHOULDER .... Who am I? Just a plain simple woman who knows the fight you have, I am lonely too... I want to be loved like you do... I am not perfect.. HELL I am NO supermodel.. I am built like a cop ( AFTER A FEW DONUTS).. I cant date small or medium men.. I make them look whimpy and ill.... I play with guns and taught martial arts... I scare the hell out of my dates!!!!! COME ON... LAUGH RONI.... Just one smile at a time and you will make it through! RONI..HUGS from Los Angeles, CA. LAND OF BOOB JOBS, PLASTIC SURGERY AND BARBIE DOLLS... I KNOW YOUR PAIN!!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 45 (view)

Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive? Posted: 8/24/2007 5:27:12 PM
That big ass gun, is there to let some men KNOW I am not a push over, nor will I be bullied.. and there are bullies everywhere you go in the world..... AND Yes they do say stupid things because over the internet, I find they will say things they would NEVER think about saying to a lady in person!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 43 (view)

Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive? Posted: 8/24/2007 4:55:36 PM
I cant say I have toughened up.. but I have noticed an ability to see lines and bull chit increasing by leaps and bounds! I have gotten a shorter tolerance for the " HEY BABY's and the YOUR SOOO HAWT!" HAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! YEP! no mercy for those creeps!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 153 (view)

she killed my baby Posted: 8/24/2007 7:14:40 AM
Look, what this comes down to is OP is whining 4 YEARS after the fact.... that would most likely mean that he should get therapy for the lost he has been unable to deal with.... but he has no reason to accuse her of murder. He is the one who picked a (SO CALLED) Murderer to get pregnant without marrying her. He is painting her as evil and uncaring.. but this is one side of the story. Abortion is wrong.. no doubt about it... I myself am lucky it wasn't legal at the time I was conceived.....But Legally he has NO RIGHT to come in calling her names. ABORTION isn't the topic here..... he picked a topic to start a uproar.. yet has anyone heard from him again? Has he responded to any of this.... This obviously wasn't for help.. or opinions.. or stories of hope... NO, He knows from the responses that....He himself should respect the law.. even though Morally He can have everyone SAY " that **** wronged you... but remember HE HIMSELF said she was PERFECT!" Yet he didn't marry her... I have raised a son alone ( he is 18 and a strong upstanding young man).... I Wouldn't suggest it.. IT is hard on the child and the parent. FINE YOU WANT the child... YOU PAY FOR IT , YOU SPEND YOUR EVERY HOUR WITH THAT CHILD, YOU RAISE THAT CHILD without handing off to a mother (your own mothers included)... That is for fathers who say THEY WANT their baby and then walk away. I say there should be a program THEY need to take.. to expose them to raising a baby into a fine upstanding adult... MOST men in todays world walk away leaving the mother holding the bag... MEANING Society is holding the bag THAT is why abortion was made legal.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 137 (view)

she killed my baby Posted: 8/23/2007 9:50:45 PM
Leslieshan.. I applaude you and thank heavens some of us ladies still have some moral fiber as well as a back bone!!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 111 (view)

she killed my baby Posted: 8/23/2007 6:09:44 PM
I am curious..... 1. Why didn't you marry first? Then running away would have been a little harder. you weren't really thinking.. Maybe she freaked out that she was pregnant and you HADN'T married her yet.. She could have felt like a walking incubator. 2.Why should she be in prison for what she did.... it isn't considered LEGALLY a living person.. until the beginning of the second trimester. Life is precious... but Legally your talking chit! 3. You had sex TRYING to create life.. without being responsible PRIOR to its existence... sooooo Maybe IT was A GREATER POWER that saw you weren't quite mature enough to be a proper father. ALSO it happened 4 years ago.. get over it, or get therapy. Geeeeeesh. BEFORE you all start howling for my blood.. I don't believe in accidents.. or abortions, But then again I don't believe in a man KNOCKING up some chick before MARRYING her either... go figure.. I am old fashioned like that.

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

OFFERED 5 GRAND Posted: 8/6/2007 5:43:04 PM
YOU are aware that what your taking about is ILLEGAL!!!!!! You could get put into jail for that.. dont tell me your THAT STUPID? Ask any I.N.S. AGENT...... Good way to get your freedom taken away from you and to get a FEDERAL CRIMINAL RECORD!!! ON SECOND THOUGHT.. if your that dumb do it... in prison you wont be able to breed....

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 143 (view)

Cheaters aren't necessarily evil? Posted: 7/27/2007 7:54:52 PM
I DON'T FRIGGING CHEAT!!!! It is just excuse after excuse doesn't anyone take responsibility for themselves or actions anymore... One man told me his wife cheated which forced him to cheat on her.. I told him he was a jackass... that he should have divorced her sorry butt and then dated. HE WAS JUST AS BAD AS HER.. he had a choice.... sure... some would say her cheating made it easier for him to do it.. I say it just gave him a social excuse to do something wrong without consequences!!!! I refused to date him, told him he had LOW MORAL FIBER!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 37 (view)

Was I a jerk? Posted: 7/27/2007 7:26:39 PM
OK... First ...Why in the hell didn't you ask about her kids.. AT LEAST how many she had???? A woman says.." I have children.... " you ask these things.. you could have avoided the whole terrible scene. Really... She rushed it....usually meaning she is desperate and blindly stupid.. you could have been a predator... on the other hand you walked right into an ambush... she is looking for a man.. who will adopt.. SIX children.. I am sorry a woman with that many children better be rich or a saint...because dating her means an instant ARMY to deal with.... I honestly think you were a "jerk" to NOT assume the children were a HUGE factor and need to discuss them when she first mentioned it. You should have pushed for more information.... or were you looking for just fun?

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya???? Posted: 7/24/2007 6:20:44 AM
It is one thing to do it IF.. and that is a BIG IF she needs to do that to be healthier. IT is another thing ALL together if he just wants a hot girlfriend.. at that age.. if he hasn't learned by now there is more to a person than their weight and looks.... then he NEVER will. THE RING shouldn't not be dangled like a carrot... either way.. IF he had said.. HONEY LOSE WEIGHT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU.....that would be a health thing.... BUT come on.... I guess even though people get old they don't mature!!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

THERE'S A SPIDER IN MY KEYBOARD!!! Posted: 4/24/2007 2:47:42 PM
ok.. THAT is the only way ever you would hear me hit a high shrill scream like a little girl!!!!!!!! I HATE SPIDERS... Shivers at the thought..... I will tell you at 16 I leaped out of the shower and ran from the bathroom to run into three football players in our hallway on the way to the kitchen, my sisters friends SIGH ..... Thank GOD for fast hands and large towels.... and BTW they went into the bathroom, tearing the shower curtain, knocking stuff over... but they killed the spider.... and agreed to never tell anyone about what had happened at school. Thank Heaven for good honest men......

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

broke up and hes turning syco on me, will he ever leave me alone Posted: 4/24/2007 1:25:00 PM
With the additional pressure of a death in the family, and after 4 years together.. he may have snapped. You need to realize allowing him to stay several days was selffish and wrong of you IF you had no intentions to reinstate the relationship. He is ALREADY emotionally charged, so you brought this on yourself in a way... now to clean this up, I would suggest you talk to anyone close enough to reach out to him and give him the TYPE of support he REALLY needed. You now need to re-insultate yourself again. Protect yourself and the children.. stay with friends and have someone house sit to avoid damage to your property. Change your number and you might think of moving... restraining orders are only to set up a PRE- notification to law enforcement that this has been a problem and to arrest him instead of giving a warning. YOU need to take steps needed to make sure your safe.DONT go anywhere alone, have an adult to go with you for a while, be watchful he isn't following you, if he does drive to the police station. I would make sure your children's school is notified in regards to the situation so they are extra watchful of your kids. WE MAKE MISTAKES... now you need to start thinking before doing.. hope this will turn out as just something that wont leave scars... good luck. Things to think of..... IF you have kids.. did you think how confused they would be with someone they saw as daddy just dropping in and playing house for a few days? Are you willing to accept a portion of fault of this? What you did put you into this spot. Are you now taking steps to learn from this and to avoid putting yourself and the kids in danger?

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 111 (view)

Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !! Posted: 4/19/2007 6:10:28 PM
OK... the logical question is .." IF YOU MEET AND LIKE EACH OTHER.. WOULD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK?" Because for meeting the first time.. and your not that excited.. why would you want to travel that way all the time to get to know him... date after date.....DUH!!!! EVERYONE said the rest ... but I would suggest you ACTUALLY try dating closer to home.. like your own private butler.... since you want to be waited on hand and foot....

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 91 (view)

Is It Adultery?! Posted: 4/19/2007 12:56:59 PM
I would consider it emotional cheating, Your focus is NOT on the one you need to have it on, you care about that others opinion, happiness, you spend your time and energy on that other instead of your spouse. You should be working, talking and and making the relationship healthy and keeping your bond strong with your partner. Example: You talk to this other person for advice and make a decision in regards to something they have no business in... BLIND SIDING.. your partner with something that came out of left field because you didn't even mention it them. UNFAIR!!!! and just plain WRONG!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

why do all guys want cyber sex? Posted: 4/18/2007 10:57:48 AM
I think phone sex and cyber sex are scary thoughts...... I mean don't you get the cheese grater effect with the tiny holes on your phone.... and what about your keyboard buttons sticking because of .... ummm .... EWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! All joking aside her folks, Why do something like that with someone you don't know or trust? It is dangerous. They could record what you wrote and air it for others... They could use cam pictures for their own amusement as well as 1000's of their closest or not so close friends. Would you willingly hand out Blackmail material? Stop and think... IF your about to.. would you want your _____________ to see this... here are some examples... YOUR PARENTS, YOUR BEST FRIEND,YOUR SIBLINGS, YOUR SPOUSE (FOR CHEATERS), YOUR BOSS,YOUR CHURCH.... ANYONE ELSE YOU MIGHT BE THINKING OF DATING EVER.... That stuff will always jump up and bite you on the @$$!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 147 (view)

Knock them off their pedestals? Posted: 4/15/2007 4:43:45 PM
MDNinja.... ok.. .....DON'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK...WE AGREE.... a teasing joke is fine.. but the original post was about saying something that was negative to a woman, to KNOCK her off her pedestal... not nudge her off with laughter and a big smile. I am not saying you personally would do that.. just when the OP started this he was thinking of using that approach. To KNOCK someone, and take her down a peg.... That is what I was trying to get through to others as wrong. Sigh... I just think people are mean enough in this world, why would you want the trend of men coming up and insulting you as a come on line.... what IF every guy did that.. CAN YOU IMAGINE how messed up ladies would be then? ANYONE stop to think about that...

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 134 (view)

Knock them off their pedestals? Posted: 4/15/2007 12:24:51 AM
I don't advocate emotionally wounding people just to meet some personal agenda. Emotionally wounding someone is a lot different than teasing people and making them laugh and not take themself so seriously. I don't want to explain the differences so I'll just assume you know them. and then you say He trying to break her down emotionally, so that he has better chance at seducing her. Make up your mind.... emotionally wounding is different than breaking her down emotionally??? Both result in a serious emotional reaction. He isn't talking about joking with her, he is talking about making a comment that would make her feel bad.. BREAKING HER DOWN EMOTIONALLY.....Like "So your here because you can't get a date.." OR "So, I hear your the coldest bitch in the room..." ... So... I stand by what I said. It isn't seducing, or charming.. it is something to make her feel like she now has to redeem herself in his eyes and WORSE her own eyes........ a mean spirited trick.. I hope blows up in the face of ANY man doing that!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 127 (view)

Knock them off their pedestals? Posted: 4/13/2007 7:26:05 PM
Culturally it seems more acceptable for women to give tips on how to seduce men than it is for men to give tips on how to seduce a woman. Verb: seduce si'd(y)oos 1. Induce to have sex 2. Lure or entice away from duty, principles, or proper conduct THIS thread isn't about learning to seduce women but to verbally abuse them making then vulnerable to a man approaching her after she has been made to be feel less than she should. HOW hard is it to grasp that POINT!!!! For Christ sakes.. If you want to learn positive ways to break the ice I am fine with that, hell I applaud that, the fact you want to learn to POSITIVELY communicate with women is wonderful... but DON'T emotionally wound some lady just because your interested in her.. How many different ways can we say the same thing?

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

The reason women are hesitant to respond! Posted: 4/13/2007 1:00:02 PM
Get a sense of humor, LOL! And stop analyzing so much! You will be happier women. Was that a call for attention... Any man who will decide on a whole what will make women happy.... Ummmm CERTAINLY shouldn't be on a dating site... because if he understands women so well he would CERTAINLY HAVE a lovely HAPPY lady in his life...... Lip quivers in mirth... Eyes watering with laughter So what does FOOT taste like ? For a man who is saying NOT to analyze, your taking a stab at it yourself.. so please allow me..YOU sir are associating your OWN experiences with women and their responses to your possibly off shaded humor to this conversation... that is projecting.... Bites her lip as she smirks Some just have a dry sense of humor.. and some may be missing it.. but.... such a broad statement... TSK TSK.....

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 29 (view)

The reason women are hesitant to respond! Posted: 4/13/2007 8:41:42 AM
Shame on you Broward..... lol!!!! Married and drugs... geesh.. that would be a real winner.. every ladies dream. (Psst That is sarcasm in case you missed it) HAHAHAAHA!!! Nothing like going out with a man and getting pulled over and as he is arrested for possession of a controlled substance.. he turns and asks you to call his wife to post bail...... YEPPERS.. THAT IS THE MAN FOR ME!!!! NOT!!!!!

CharleneAnn

Joined: 12/25/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

The reason women are hesitant to respond! Posted: 4/12/2007 9:06:17 PM
I think we have all received those Quality messages!!!!! I politely respond with a large word vocabulary.... EVEN IF I have to look up a few new ones ... Just for fun. They are so confused.... They back off.....*WICKED CHEESY GRIN** Hugs and Prayers

Show ALL Forums