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1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

my son is wanting a daddy figure Posted: 7/19/2009 11:32:44 AM
i am happy being single. i thought about big brothers but where i live do not offer the program and no, i am not going to get involved with a man just for my son to have a dad. i do not have any male members of my family that lives near me because i thought about that too. but i have thought about the ymca there is one close to me but i work during the day and i live in the country 8 miles from town so my son cannot walk there. i appreciate the suggestions.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 318 (view)

How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked.... Posted: 7/19/2009 9:42:21 AM
i'm no barbie but i did put up a sexy pic. try putting up a sexy pic. and see what happens.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 1 (view)

my son is wanting a daddy figure Posted: 7/19/2009 9:36:51 AM
i need some help here. my 13 yr. old son has been really acting up lately. when i asked him why he said he is sad because he does not have a dad who will take him hunting or fishing or do the things guys do together. i feel terrible. his real dad has not been in the picture for years and i do not know what to do. he is really depressed and i wish i could get some answers as what to do about this situation so if you have any suggestions i would gladly appreciate it. i cannot kill a living being so please do not suggest i do this because i just cannot.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 44 (view)

Underwear - The New Relationship Indicator? Posted: 7/19/2009 9:25:32 AM
commando absolutly. i go commando so i would like my guy to do the same. no tighty whites. or speedos. yuck.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 47 (view)

IS BEING OPEN FROM THE START WRONG AND WHY? Posted: 7/19/2009 9:21:08 AM
i personally appreciates someone who is honest and open from the beginning. too many times i have been burned from lies and deception in the beginning that i have a hard time trusting people who cannot be honest from the start. i am an honest person and i do not like to be deceived so i extend the same courtesy.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 143 (view)

Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice in Dating scary music swells Posted: 6/21/2009 11:00:15 AM
being a pro choicer i think that is up to the individual. i could date a pro lifer if they did not want to force their opinions on me. i would not force my opinions on them so i would like the same consideration. abortion is an issue people have lost their lives over. medically speaking, life of the human embreyo does not begin for 14 weeks after conception. the fetus does not have a brain until this time.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 56 (view)

Infidelity Posted: 6/21/2009 10:54:05 AM
people cheat for different reasons. they could have a sex addiction(a very really mental illness), it could be the values they were taught, it could be a host of different things. if a person wants to change i think they can but it is a question of whether or not they wish to do so. i, myself, was involved with a cheater and he is my ex and he still cheats. he has a host of mental issues to deal with but i doubt he ever will.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 83 (view)

ever think about giving up and just be happy and single? Posted: 6/21/2009 10:47:46 AM
i have been single and happy for about 3 years now. i really don't mind it. if by chance i would meet someone that would be cool but if i don't that is okay too. i am my own best freind. sometimes i do miss the the physical part but that is pretty much it. i lead a fulfilling and happy life with me and my kids and our pets. some people can be happy by themselves and others are not happy at all. it depends i suppose on the person.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 55 (view)

I'm the Other Guy Posted: 11/4/2008 9:44:34 PM
my good man keep your penis in your pants and leave this woman alone, she is married and if she had any intentions of leaving her husband she would have already. don't be an idiot. she has her cake and is eating it too. she is a player and don't let her play you. there are plenty of single and avaliable women out there go find one.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

after the love has gone Posted: 10/26/2008 9:14:02 AM
honey move on. all the old issues and resentments will come up again and let it go. be happy with yourself and find someone that will make you happy. this is not the person. go luck and happy fishing.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 175 (view)

Grandma, show us your new tattoo! Posted: 7/9/2008 8:58:35 AM
i work at a biker bar that does tattoos and i have seen a lot of women in their 40's and 50's get one and if they are done right and not gaudy why not? the tat artists at my work are dying for me to get one and if it wasn't for my fear of needles i would have a few of them by now. you go girls in our prime of life.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Doubt in realtionships Posted: 7/9/2008 8:53:02 AM
she is trying to play two sides of the fence. don't get caught up in that game. i started dating someone who did that and after 3 dates i just broke it off because i cannot play games. too old, too wise. leave her alone. may be hard at first but in the long run you are better off.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

i hate being alone Posted: 7/5/2008 9:56:29 AM
having been single most of my life with a few relationships thrown in here and there let me tell you i have appreciated being alone. not lonely though. i can always find something to do and i learned to love the most important person of all-me. there are times i get lonely hence my name but for the most part i am a happy person. i would like to meet someone to round out my life but if that does not happen i still have my best freind and confidante around-me. learn to love yourself first and the rest will happen.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 36 (view)

when your love dies Posted: 7/5/2008 9:45:13 AM
wow. heavy forum here. i too have lost several loves in my life but i think the most devestated one was when my oldest son's dad died. even though we were not together at the time a part of me never stopped caring for him and i had always hoped he would get his s**t together but that never happened. i am still very close with his family and i still think about him alot. he died very suddenly of a heart attack bought on by his drug use and it really devestated my oldest so much that he joined border patrol and dea so that he can combat the very drug that killed his dad. take your time dating. we all need time to heal and when you finally do you will make wise choices instead of doing one out of desperation. take a class and learn something you always wanted to try. join some org. that will help you keep busy. remeber an idle mind makes idle hands. good luck and i hope you will find someone who appreciates you for you.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 52 (view)

Dumped, devastated and don't know why Posted: 7/5/2008 9:35:10 AM
i know how you feel my freind. but unfortunatly these things happen but you are a good looking nice guy and you will find someone who will sweep you off your feet. and good choice about the harley. i work at a biker bar and harleys are numero uno here. get an easy rider and forget about this girl. too many fish in the sea. p.s. american guys can learn a lesson from you scots.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 174 (view)

You are alone because you don't love yourself! Posted: 6/27/2008 8:41:19 AM
my problem is not that i don't love myself, my problem is i love myself too much to just settle. i could have had a number of prospects but i keep looking for that special someone who will sweep me off my feet. maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high because men and women alike are afraid of ending up alone and just settle. if you truly love yourself, you will find that even if you are alone it is ok because you can be your own best company.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 430 (view)

Are women satisfied with American men? Posted: 6/27/2008 8:34:15 AM
i would be satisfied if i could just find one man! but i think that women in the u.s. want to find their knights in shining armor. but you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince. some women are lucky because they find them when they are young some of us women, like myself, have been looking a lifetime and are still single. it is not that american men are superior, most just see women as their equals, unlike the muslims(no offense to you muslim men out there) women are like cattle, they are second class citizens who mean nothing more than a peice of commodoties to them. so i guess that when it boils down to it, american men are great, i just wish they thought more with their heads on their shoulders instead of the one between their legs.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

Death.....by broken heart...? Posted: 6/27/2008 8:24:17 AM
i actually knew a mother who died from a broken heart. her youngest son died in an automobile accident and she expired exactly 6 mos. from his demise. quite sad actually. the dad lost both his son and his wife in 6 mos. he became an alcholic. the best way i have found to get over a trumatic relationship breakup has been to keep busy. do anything you can to keep your mind off your failed relationship. travel, build a new interest, join a club, take a class, anything to think of the what if and what wases.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 50 (view)

Broken Hearted...need advice, please? Posted: 5/30/2008 10:06:45 AM
No, leave him alone. My last boyfreind said the same thing and now he is with a psycho but he is happy so more power to him(i say she is psycho because she sent a naked pic. of herself to me. ich.). just let him be. if he wants to contact you he will. just move on with your life. find someone who can appreciate you. it is hard but in the long run, you will be better off.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Broke the no contact rule Posted: 5/30/2008 10:01:27 AM
You did the right thing. It is okay to feel something for this person and her family. I still talk to my ex's mom all the time. I went to my ex's funeral and i cried because not only was he a father to my oldest son he was still my freind. just don't expect something out of this because you will be setting yourself up for a lot of hurt. it is okay to be a human with feelings. your next girlfreind will be lucky to have such a caring man.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 200 (view)

Could you ever forgive an affair Posted: 5/30/2008 9:56:36 AM
Hell no do not fogive him. So he can do it again and again to you? Why would you want to put yourself thru something like that? There are other fis in the sea, hence P.O.F. He is being honest with you for once in his shady life so let it go. I know it is had. I have been there. But do it for the sake of your kids, and don't bash their daddy either. They will grow up hating the both of you so for your sake and their maintain a civil relationship with their Dad. You will be glad you did.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 140 (view)

Pedophile or not? Posted: 5/27/2008 8:48:50 AM
having a junior high school daughter i am highly disturbed by this forum. i could never go with someone who was a pedophile because even though they say they have turned their lives around i could not trust anyone who did this and having been with an alcoholic, the urges are always there. and what bothers me the most about this is the fact that his children do not want anything to do with him which brings me to the conclusion that he sexually abused his children when they were young. if i were you i would run not walk to the nearest exit. this man sounds like trouble with a capital t.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 78 (view)

My new theory on why people disappear after a great date or dating Posted: 4/9/2008 1:32:52 PM
i can agree on some of it but not all of it. having been on supposed great first dates i must say i wasn't attracted to the person i dated. i am always polite and kind and it is not that your theory does not hold any bias, it does, but perhaps the person was not attracted to you in the first place. and did not want to hurt your feelings. i know because i have been there. i cannot stand to hurt anyone's feelings. it is not that i don't have a backbone it is just i know i hate having my feelings hurt and i do not want to put anyone in that spot. think about that for a little bit and mix it in with your theory. there are actually nice people out there who do not want to truly hurt someone.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 39 (view)

why cry???? Posted: 4/9/2008 1:17:56 PM
cailin. i just want to tell you i do agree somewhat with you. i have been devestated by many men in my life, i have picked up the pieces and moved on. i have been used and abused. but there will always be a hole in my heart because of this. it took me over a year to get over my last boyfreind and i have to tell you i will never put myself in that position again. he truly betrayed me and he wasn't the first but he will be the last. i am the mother of 3 kids and there is a difference in the way a man and a woman loves versus a mother and a child love. an adult relationship takes your breath away, it makes you feel complete, it make you feel comfort and it makes you feel safe and secure. i always wanted this tender, sweet relationship but unfortunatly the men i have ran across do not, but i do feel for the people who have loved and lost. i hope someday you will experience this love and perhaps then you can understand why so many people feel this way.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

Can you make love to someone you are not in love with? Posted: 4/6/2008 7:42:23 AM
making love to someone is just that. yes, you need to be in love with someone to make love to them otherwise it is just sex. and sex is not as good as making love to someone because you need those emotional binds in order for it to be fufilling and satisfying. sex is just a motion you go through and i find it not fufilling and kinda empty.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 153 (view)

Poke Me & Die Posted: 4/6/2008 7:36:32 AM
you seem like you have some major issues going on here. you are a control freak who has to have everything your way and he is a jellyfish with no backbone and he needs to get one. i was struck by your last comment that you give and take. where did you give? you demanded that he do something and you expect him to do it. a relationship is a lot more than that and you need to learn a few things about them before you can have a good one. a-do not demand he gives up his freinds just because they are female. if he loves you this should not matter. b-you need to learn how to trust. it seems to me you have a few skeletons in your own closet so you feel that because you can't be trusted you cannot trust another. c-listen to your partner and talk with him. you need communication in order for a relationship to work so open up those lines of communication and you will see a lot of difference in your relationship.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 63 (view)

How important is emotional support to you? Posted: 3/30/2008 10:15:12 AM
i feel that being sympathetic and offering a shoulder to lean on is very important in any relationship. if the person i am seeing is cold and selfish then yes it is a deal breaker for me. i want someone who is kind and understanding not cold and uncaring.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 34 (view)

only time at her apartment Posted: 3/30/2008 10:09:58 AM
sounds funny to me. does she have his home number? i think he is married and he is using her as his mistress on the side. i would buy tickets to a concert or to an upcoming event and tell him she would like it if he accompany her. if he refuses then he is definatly married and she should break it off a.s.a. p.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 42 (view)

Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple? Posted: 3/30/2008 10:04:13 AM
i prefer neither. i prefer someone who is just themself. i guess i would have to say i prefer someone who is simple yet complex. i have dated people who said their life was simple yet they had so many issues i could not beleive it. and i have dated people who said they had complicated lives and they were not so complex.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 28 (view)

What is so wrong with wanting to be celibate until you're ready for a relationship? Posted: 3/27/2008 9:40:29 AM
there is absolutly nothing wrong with waiting to have sex until you are in a relationship and a steady one at that. i have not had sex in 2 yrs. because i am waiting to get involved with someone before i have it. casual sex is empty and i get a lot more enjoyment out of it if it is with someone i care about. i applaud you and the girl you end up with will be a lucky woman.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 288 (view)

Fake Pictures Posted: 3/27/2008 9:36:12 AM
amen! i have been there. if you lie about how you look then what else are you going to lie about. and those that have pics. up that are more than 5 yrs. old also are lying to themselves. i try to keep a pic. that is no older than a yr. old up and that way men know what they see is what they get. my biggest gripe is men who do not have pics up and you ask them to describe themselves and they describe someone totally different. and then you meet them and they look nothing like they discribe. bogus. at least i can go on here and say yep that's me and not my sister or my daughter .

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 35 (view)

Happiness - The Rules Posted: 3/27/2008 7:59:01 AM
i have lived by ever single one of those rules for many years. remember the glass is half full not half empty. optimism is the way to live. without it it would be a dark, grey world indeed. be true to yourself and honesty is always the best policy.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 69 (view)

My Husband Broke My Heart Posted: 3/27/2008 7:53:09 AM
first, please check for sexual abuse on your daughter. i know it is hard to think about but there are obvious signs pointing in this direction. second, if he did sexually abuse your daughter please have the guts to turn him into the authorities. and get your daughter into counseling a.s.a.p. third, quit thinking about this creep. i know it is hard, but move on. you and your daughter deserves so much better than this pervert and let him alone. busy yourself with something. and move as far away from this man as you can. beleive me it will be the best thing for your daughter.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

Having a Right to be Mad.? Posted: 3/27/2008 7:44:47 AM
the past is the past. what good is being angry about it, it will just eat you up inside. i question why she wanted you to delete her email. she obviously was still guilty about cheating on you, did not know how to tell you, and need to get this off her chest. so now the truth is out and do not go back to this woman. she obviously cannot be trusted. take what she says with a grain of salt and move on.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 293 (view)

Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they? Posted: 3/24/2008 7:59:41 AM
and this is why i do not sleep with anyone on the first date or the second or the third. because i will not be some man fantasy and toyed with. men give some credit to us women. we are humans with feelings just like you men, yet you seem to think that we are merely conquest in the boudiar and this goes for some women that i know too. i think that if sex is what you are after go to booty call or make sure that the other person just wants it too. yes, i get it and they ain't getting it!

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 312 (view)

Soulmates? Do they / can they exist?? Posted: 3/24/2008 7:53:50 AM
i use to think so. i thought i had met mine until he screwed me in the end. so i have my doubts. i think your soul mate is your better part of yourself because ultimatly in the end you are whom you are left with.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 87 (view)

who can you trust Posted: 3/24/2008 7:47:05 AM
sorry about that my friend, but you cannot trust anyone but yourself. be true to yourself and that is the best you can do. it is tragic that people feel the need to lie. i do not trust anyone until they give me a reason to trust them and still, i need more proof than that. i have been burned one too many times to trust anyone but me. take what people say with a grain of salt. the proof is in the pudding so to say. it is not this site but the whole world unfortunatly so snap out of it and find someone you can trust.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR Posted: 3/23/2008 3:37:24 PM
everyone handles loneliness in different ways. i do not know one person besides the crazy guy that lives in the cave that likes it. the subject of the movie was lonely and did not know how to deal with it. plus if you remember she was lame and felt like she was unattractive and tried to prove her sexuality. i have known many people like this and some of them had unfortunate endings yet some sought help and closure before things spiralled out of control. we all have our demens, some more so than others. we need to learn acceptance and compassion. and when to ask for help. you cannot help someone who does not wish to be helped.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 53 (view)

obsession on going out Posted: 3/23/2008 3:26:53 PM
hmmmm. sitting at home watching the same crap on t.v. or reading the same book that has been written a 1,000 times or going out meeting new people, experiencing different things, etc. if money is a problem then there is a 1000 different things to do without spending a lot of money. go to the beach, go to the zoo on free day, going to your local park, going to a forest preserve or state park, etc. what good is saving all your money if you are going to die tomm.? i am not saying to blow it all but life is an adventure, go out and live it.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 85 (view)

All alone on Easter Posted: 3/23/2008 3:20:45 PM
i know what ya mean. i have spent the past 2 years of holidays alone. i make them special for my kids but to me it is just another day. just think of it as another day and it is easier. you will find someone may take yrs. but do not give up. and sorry about you mom ray.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 41 (view)

Why the lame let down just be straight with me!!! Posted: 3/10/2008 3:23:26 PM
honey, don't stress it. chalk it up to experience and move on. this is why i am having a hard time getting into a relationship because i am too old and maybe just a bit too proud to go thru the bad breakups again. move on and find someone who will appreciate you for you and leave the jack ass alone you are better off.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

I never saw this coming. Posted: 2/27/2008 1:45:59 PM
i was there once. went out with this guy and he would never give me his home number only his work number which i though was odd. went out on a few dates and i asked him if he was married. he told me a little and i told him to get lost and not a little. this is why i do not sleep with men on the first few dates. for this reason alone. good luck and the next time a man will not tell you where he lives or give you a home number beware.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

what do i do? Posted: 2/27/2008 1:39:44 PM
let it go. at least you found out what kind of person he was after a few dates and didn't get sucked into a relationship that would end in definate disaster. give yourself some time and jump back into the saddle. don't talk to him and go and pamper yourself. get a haircut, buy some new clothes, go out for an evening, take up a new hobby or join a group. keep busy. and i guarentee in no time you will say who? what was his name?

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

why does a man do that Posted: 2/27/2008 1:34:34 PM
my heart geos out to you. it will take awhile but after the storm blows over you will fell better. if you can go to a psychotherapist and talk to them about your feelings and they will help you get through the rough spots. learn to love yourself and do not feel like it was your fault. he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. hugs and i am hoping the best for you.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Final closure Posted: 2/27/2008 1:29:05 PM
wow. i have been there. i did the same with my ex and i ran into him and his new bo at a bar and not only is he dating a real psycho(she sent me naked photos of herself and it was definatly not a pretty sight) but he looked really old and sounded even older. i do not know what i ever saw in him and i must say that for the first time i saw him for what he really was a pathetic old man trying to recapture his youth and that is sad. good luck to you and to all of us who has been there and done that . we are all soooo much capable of doing better and finding someone who appreciates us for us.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Tips for getting over being dumped Posted: 2/27/2008 1:18:43 PM
some of that is very true except the being angry part. anger get you nowhere except with bitterness in your soul. you are right though it is their lose not yours and you do deserve better than a swift kick in the teeth. this world is angry enough though without adding to it. it is ok to be sad and hurt. but do not let it connsume you and i agree that it is good riddance to the other person because they were unworthy of you to begin with.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 263 (view)

Best songs for strength and for mourning/pain Posted: 2/27/2008 1:09:31 PM
wow lots of great songs on here but the ones i find for heartache are american girl- tom petty / bad love- eric clapton/ fool in the rain- led zepplin/ still the same- bob seger and the silver bullet band for songs of encouragement anything by eminem (crazy i know)/ yeah-usher, lil jon, ludacrious / don't stop believin'-journey/margaritaville-jimmy buffet/ and for really oldies somewhere over the rainbow-judy garland. hope it was good selections

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 32 (view)

This painless pain Posted: 2/27/2008 12:57:50 PM
wow do i know that ever so well. happened not once but 3 times. and the last was the worst we broke up 2 yrs. ago and i still cannot get over it. i am moving on but it has honestly made me very cynical of men and kinda bitter. trying to get over that too. the one before that took me 5 yrs. to get over and i hope this one is not going to take that long. i am not getting any younger but i am getting wiser.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 38 (view)

Just a question..........Do you believe? Posted: 2/26/2008 8:28:52 AM
i believe that once a relationship is over it is over. i have been down that road one too many times and i will never put myself in that situation again. there is no truth in that saying if they really wanted to be with you they would never have left in the first place. move on. do not look back. that is my motto and i am sticking to it.

1lonelymama

Joined: 12/26/2006

Msg: 264 (view)

Ex wife is best friend but women see her as competiton Posted: 2/26/2008 8:08:35 AM
i understand completely what you are going thru. i was freinds with my oldest son's dad till the day he died and alot of my b.f. felt threatened by that including my youngest kids' dad. my ex-b.f. of late was my freind til he had a new woman in his life and she told him he could not be my freind anymore and he accepted that. sad. i am not threatened by someone who is freinds with their ex. i think it is a good thing not a bad because you have a history and even though you remain freinds this should give a person a sense of responsibility and be happy they found someone who is so loyal and so open about their feelings.

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