KINGSTON ONT POF GET TOGETHER At Raxx Billards Bar and Grill ~HALLOWEEN BASH~ OCT 21st/06 chat & forums.

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Thread: KINGSTON ONT POF GET TOGETHER At Raxx Billards Bar and Grill ~HALLOWEEN BASH~ OCT 21st/06

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 105 (view)

KINGSTON ONT POF GET TOGETHER At Raxx Billards Bar and Grill ~HALLOWEEN BASH~ OCT 21st/06 Posted: 10/5/2006 9:11:44 PM
Hi all in Ktown, i have been invited by Welshgal, and the more I get to chat with her, the more positive i am about coming. i can either bring my little sports car, or if there are lots from ottawa wanting to go, my 06 Grand Caravan seats 6 as well as me. my son is moving, but i am not certain as to when... will post again in a couple of days for certain. My first pof event, out of town, not knowing anyone but Welshgal, even her only online ... but hey, add to that mix the halloween theme, I know its gonna be a blast. Steve Harper in Ottawa ... NO, not that one

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 36 (view)

are there any women still left who believe in honesty,trust,loyalty,and above all else communication Posted: 11/27/2005 10:02:18 PM
To c_deacon, I agree totally, but there is a positive side to everything Your observation that "to find someone that you want all that with, and they you, on the same level, at the same time, in the same way, is where the problem is.....in my opinion." is right on the money! Timing is so important. Your comments "Too many times we find someone we care about more than they do us, or someone cares for us more than we do them. Many times we still date and enjoy, trying to make it work or find the solution for the relationship to be equal, and it never happens." are quite true, but having had a recent experience, spending time almost daily with an absolutely lovely, very young woman, for 2 years, with no hope that she would love me anywheres near as much as I loved her, I did learn one thing I did not know before I met her. You can survive, thrive, and be happy in a lobsided relationship. I enjoyed, indeed loved, her company every moment we were together. She never uttered the dreaded "I care for you as a friend, just not as a lover", but it became understood, and I realized that I would rather have her friendship more than anybody else in my world, whether it was lobsided or not. And I think the potential you describe for getting hurt exists for sure, but only if you are unrealistic about the outcomes. I would have married this girl in a heartbeat, still would, but did not base any expectations on my dreams. She graduated, got a job far from Ottawa, and I miss her terribly. And, on topic of this thread, this sweet young thing was only 21, and hung out with me because she believed in "honesty,trust,loyalty,and above all else communication". One time we were talking about how 99% of girls her age would never even talk to an old fart like me, let alone go out with them. I told her many comment "I dont want to date my father". Her response kind of explained why she and I got along so well. She said, other than the age difference, she wanted to find someone like her father. She told me he had good morals, was honest, faithfull, a caring and loving man, and that if she wanted a lasting relationship, she would seek a man with her dad's qualities. Anyway, my 2 cents worth ... sorry folks, sometimes I ramble, but am really enjoying reading the thoughts, good and bad, expressed by folks on these forums Steve

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 34 (view)

why is being a friend SO hard Posted: 11/27/2005 8:24:00 AM
I agree wholeheartedly! I only hope that there are more like you, like noahtuesday (Bob), and myself, than there are of guys with the views of life, and women, of GuitarMatt; that women are sex objects and nothing more. You'll see if you look that I prefer younger company. Although that does not preclude sex, I make sure the women I persue know that sex is never the primary objective. I "hung out" with a remarkable and lovely 21 yr old waitress for almost 2 years. We weren't "dating" though; one night when we had planned dinner, a show, and some pool at the pub, I made the mistake of saying, innocently enough, "Its a date". Did I ever get sht .. apparently, among the younger female crowd, the word "date" in itself means sex. And yes, I was often the friend she came crying to when one guy or another treated her like sht. But you know, I'd rather be the guy she came to than her go to some other abuser who would just take advantage of her when she was most vulnerable. Also, as time went on, she began to be a lot more fussy about who she "dated", spent a lot more time with me, and in some small way I hope it was because of the love, caring, and respect she always got from me. She graduated college and moved away last year. I miss her. I miss the calls on my cell, that she was at my place, had 2 steaks thawed out and had bought a bottle of wine, but for me to pick up sour cream for the baked potatoes. I miss the calls at work,"I have classes till 5:00 and I have to be at work at 6:00 ...help!!" In the 2 years she slept over increasingly often. Sometimes she shared my bed, never specifically asked to, always welcome, but the decision was always hers. Pretty much when she was feeling really low, and needed someone who loved her to cuddle up to. In all of the 2 years we had sex only twice. And no, the sex did not end the friendship, the physical intimacy was a very natural extension of the emotional intimacy we shared. I miss her, and that friendship. Even though it was not about sex, I would not have given up her friendship for anything in the world. i will cherish that friendship as long as I live. It is possible, for sure. At my age, with my less than perfect looks, and my preference, I seek and find friendships far more often than any seriously potential lovers, and truthfully find these friendships extremely rewarding. Steve

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 30 (view)

are there any women still left who believe in honesty,trust,loyalty,and above all else communication Posted: 11/26/2005 3:16:59 PM
LOL, starreyedinid, Absolutely love your comment about scrawney guys, rings so true with a co-worker and buddy of mine. Its all I can do to get him out of the house for a pint or two, once a week. he is too obsessed with a) staying scrawney, and b) saving money. I'm out pretty much every night, partly because I don't have a g/f and don't like staying home alone, partly just because I enjoy it. Good food and copious quantities of beer see me a few pounds overweight, and sometimes spending more than I ought to. Guess I'm eventualy going to have to stop buying drinks for all the women in the pub :) My chum criticizes me constantly; but when, a few months ago, he told me of loosing $53,000.00 in Nortel stock, I could not resist pointing out that if he had spent that same money actually enjoying life, he would be a lot happier today. "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die" .. forget who said it, but it works for me.

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 28 (view)

are there any women still left who believe in honesty,trust,loyalty,and above all else communication Posted: 11/26/2005 1:41:35 PM
Hi, Shelly, Not a book club, you need to start a "club" here within POF of gals like you who are truely serious, and who do understand the important ingredients necessary to make a relationship that will last, because many women on here seem not to. And though this will seem terribly self serving, and I will be slammed for saying it, by both men and women, you might seriously consider changing your "age range". I honestly believe you will find far more serious, honest, loyal, and communicative men, like myself, if you are willing to consider an older man than you currently have as your upper limit. Even reading posts on these forums, you might find evidence that bears this out. I was shocked last week on a thread about "can men and women actually be friends(without sex)?" The number of men who blatently stated that ALL men ONLY want sex, those who assumed to judge us all by their own low moral standards and obvious lack of respect for women, absolutely disgusted me. Creeps like that certainly do not speak for me! If it is still there, check out the profiles, particularly the ages, of the guys who made those comments. I digress; but there are many women on here who say in their profiles thay want honesty, respect, and all the good stuff, but who seem to ignore someone who offers it, and who means it; in favor of the "bad ass guys" who offer more thrills, I guess. I assume, as a woman, you find the same true of many mens profiles. Sorting through the garbage to find that one treasure is hard, for both genders. Thats why we're all on a "fishing" site, with "catch and release" rules in effect. Good fishing :)

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 33 (view)

do any girls actually want nice guys? Posted: 11/21/2005 10:41:38 AM
Hey, Tony, Man, you got that right! Openness and honesty seem to scare the crap out of younger women. I guess they are just so used to being constantly lied to by guys who are only after sex, an honest man, with feelings, and not afraid to express them, just freaks them out. Honesty and sincerety are concepts they just cannot handle. Not all, mind you, but most. For the 4 or 5 young women I have real close friendships with, there are 50 who I would have liked to, but who seem wary.

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 331 (view)

Class action against Yahoo Personals and Match.com for fraud Posted: 11/21/2005 9:58:26 AM
Me too! Like a lot of guys who are looking for that elusive "perfect match", I have put profiles up on Yahoo, True, Match, Eroticy, and a few other more obscure sites. I have refused, however, to ever pay for these sites. When Quest went "pay", I went elsewhere, and ended up jhere on POF. From real, uncensored, non pay sites like Quest or POF, I have a prety realistic idea of just how few women respond to my profile. it sucks, but hey, thats life. Amazingly enough, on these other sites I have literally hundreds of women, the same ones I seek here at POF but do not "hook", all sending me winks and/or emails, all incredibly interested. My profile on all these sites is similar to mine here, so it is logical to expect a similar lack of responses. These same girls, here on POF, would not give me the time of day, so it is rather unlikely they would just because the site name is different. And, of course, for me to reply to these "sweet young things", I have to pay to "upgrade" my profile... not likely! It is so blatently obvious I wonder why they even bother. Its good to see somebody make them accountable.

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 9 (view)

Profile Feedback Appreciated :) Posted: 11/4/2005 7:15:47 AM
I agree completely, the purple shirt pic is the winner .. re: aprettyblonde32

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 16 (view)

Jennifer Teague, Missing, abducted, murdered. Posted: 9/23/2005 12:56:31 AM
Hi, Chriztina, I am a man, father of 2 girls, and I couldn't agree with you more, about not going anywhere alone late at night. I would like to talk about that, see what other women think. I was, for over 25 years, a manager at the old A&W Drive-In restraunts, even long before Wendys existed. It was company policy, and law in Ontario, that it was management and the company's responsibility, with regard to all female staff leaving after midnight to: a) drive them home ... or b) put them in a cab and pay for it .. or c) get identification of any customer, boyfriend, or anybody else driving them home. Around 1970, the Ontario Government, under pressure from your friends, the womens liberation movement, "liberated" Ontario women. Women were no longer considered a "weaker sex", they were equal to men. They now lost the right to a safe ride home, they were liberated! They now gained the right to be raped and murdered! HOW SICK IS THAT?? I am willing to bet that if Jennifer were told she had to get a taxi, or take a ride with her manager, on that lonely dark road at that hour, she would not have been offended; if somebody suggested to her she would be safer with one of the managers even walking her home, she would not have been insulted. For the past couple of years, I have been in the habit of giving rides home to young bartenders and waitresses I know, in a couple of local pubs. This began way before the Jennifer abduction and murder. Tonight I drove 3 girls home, from 2 bars; they are all terrified, and they all live within the city limits. I think it is time for the Ontario government ro re-instate the legislation requiring employers to take responsibility for the young {and old} women they employ; regardless of our ***hole premier who told the press yesterday that legislation was not needed. How many girls like Jennifer have to be abucted, terrorized, likely raped, then killed, before our government wakes up? I was pleased to hear McDonalds provides taxi chits for staff. If A&W were still around, and Jennifer was one of my carhops, this would not have happenrd. Within 2 days of the province dropping the transportation requirement, an "all managers" meeting in Toronto {where I worked at the time} set a policy that we would continue to safeguard the lives of our employees, regardless of legislation. Within a week, this was an A&W nationwide company policy. You have to realize, this was not in response to any abduction, but in anticipation of the certainty that if we did not take care, this is exactly what would happen. So the questions I have for you, and for all POF, especially the young women, is multifold: 1) Would you feel insulted if I, assuming I was your part time manager or even a co-worker, told you you would be much safer, even walking, if I escorted you home? I am 5'10", about 220 lbs. You are about Jennifer's size, 5'4 and 105 lbs. 2) Would you feel degraded if your employer required you to take a cab, or a ride with management, or asked proof of identity of some "regular" customer or boyfriend who offered you a ride? 3) Should the Government of Ontario re-enact the legislation forcing all employers to provide safe passage for their female staff? I love and respect women more than most men, but honestly do not believe it is belittling or degrading to point out that a young, tiny woman would be a lot safer with a big guy like me with her, in the circumstances like those surrounding Jennifer's abduction; than wandering the roadways on her own. I have a friend named Karen, joined me years ago as a Scout Leader, who used to intimidate even the toughest of my Boy Scouts, she is as big as me. Karen would be safe walking home from Wendys, most men would give her a wide berth. The truth of life is, though, that for every Karen, there are 25 "average" or "petite" young woman, who are a lot more vulnerable. As long as there are cheap employers like Wendys, who disregard girls lives because doing otherwise costs money, I think we need laws to force them to protect these valuable young lives. What do you, and the hundreds of young women here, think? Steve Harper in Ottawa

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 29 (view)

age differences...does it matter? Posted: 7/1/2005 8:44:11 PM
Hi, UlaLume, I have a question in all seroiusness. many girls like you say just that ... including the 20 yr old I am seeing right now. When we met abt 2 months ago, she felt the same way. Over that time, she has changer her opinion, at least about me. i asked her just why she felt the way she did, and she could not tell me, other than with me, it was different. Why do you feel this way... specifics, if you could articulate them .. What do you feel makes older men less than human to you, that going out with an older man is "shit" as you put it? Now, the odd time she talks about old boyfriends, in any comparison to me, i always come out the winner. Older men have a lot to offer young women, it just seems young women are conditioned by society to be afraid to find out Steve

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 28 (view)

age differences...does it matter? Posted: 7/1/2005 8:36:18 PM
Snowbird, You are aging extremely well, either that or you are posting pics from way back :) if you had said in your profile, 22 or 23, i would have never doubted you Steve

steveharper

Joined: 12/25/2004

Msg: 27 (view)

age differences...does it matter? Posted: 7/1/2005 8:33:27 PM
That is absolute rubbish!! What is it that you assume we "loose" with age, that we would have nothing in common. I am near 60, and date women in their 20's or early 30's, exclusively. Most times I am told by these young women that we have a lot more in common than they do with guys their own age, and thet certainly like the fact that older men have far more respect for woman than the young bucks who just want sex. Steve

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