If your girlfriend loses it and cusses you out do you end it? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: If your girlfriend loses it and cusses you out do you end it?

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

If your girlfriend loses it and cusses you out do you end it? Posted: 7/20/2009 9:59:46 AM
Id suggests that "she" immediately seek assistance from a qualified therapist dealing with issues revolving around a total lack of self-esteem and of control. your girlfriend finds out that you have another women you talk to and goes berserk and curses at you and calls you a dozen disgusting names I doubt it would be logical for me to allow someone to prevent me from sharing my thoughts within a conversation with any individual even if that person is of the opposite sex. I would be a total fool to allow anyone to control me. She needs to examine the reasons behind her need to manipulate her mate to a point of totally controlling him

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

is he still interested ask a guy Posted: 7/19/2009 7:03:07 AM
Do you truly care if he is still interested in you as a partner? Have you questioned yourself as to why you suddenly entertain the concept that this man is now possibly relationship material? You informed us that you were the one who ended the relationship years ago? Correct? At that point in time, did you not decide he was not a suitable life partner for you to build a life around? Why would things suddenly appear so different to you at this point in time in your life? Sounds as if your life is psychologically in a neutral mode and you are trying to grasp onto anything (even if it is a rejected lover from the past) simply to make your current life more exciting -- you are making a mistake. Move on once and foreall ~ in your mind and heart and change your phone number. You really should stop playing high-school telephone games at this point in time in your adult life.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

i am feeling that i may be too needy Posted: 7/19/2009 6:48:41 AM
Yes ~ you most probably are way too needy. Do yourself a massive favour and read the book from the early 1990’s "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", it should enable you to better understand the differences between what makes males tick and what makes females tack! In your post you state he loves you then you question his behaviour..... go get the book!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

Is no car going to hurt my chances of a date? Posted: 7/11/2009 6:13:45 AM
How would it hurt your chances of obtaining dates? When a person is attracted to another individual then part of the lure is to get to know and uncover what makes that person tick. Conducting ongoing conversations while in transit remains a comfortable method for many males to discover another person's life goals etc.....better than sitting at a bar! Driving is the perfect “manly” way for many males to discover a possible mate’s goals while doing a function that feels comfortable to them. If you want to feel less as of a burden then I suggest that you offer to chip in for the price of the gas ~ I seriously doubt most males will want you to drop cash for riding in his chariot (lol).

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

where is this going? Posted: 7/11/2009 5:45:44 AM
where is this going? NO WHERE ! You say within the lines of your post that "HE IS NOT MY TYPE...but HE ACTUALLY CONVINCED ME THAT HE WAS”.... (Wow do reveal how someone achieves such a stunt....via prescribed medication or mind control)? Honestly question how any person can convince another on what appeals to them or not. Sounds as if you're very desperate to be viewed by the outside world as someone within the security of couple hood. Your Romeo never verbally expresses to you how he feels when it concerns you within his life....and that in itself does not ring a loud warning bell? You don’t sound to be a fool yet you still remain in complete denial when it comes to admitting to yourself the obvious!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Need Advice Posted: 6/27/2009 6:24:30 PM
You can say it indirectly such as "I had such a good time, it was BEING WITH MY BIG BROTHER (pause, allow this to sink into his mind) I had a ball you have the same sense of humour!"

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Sex and Candy Posted: 6/26/2009 7:12:27 PM
You have a good sense of humour . . . mais..... Why do you toss around the phrase du jour "He is just not that into me"? Sounds to me as if you really may been watching one too many chick flicks as of late and are now trying to apply the horrid plotlines of those films to your own life. Surprise ~ Surprise ~ Bienvenue to 2009 where males have to be IN THE MOOD if they want to GET IT UP AND GET IT ON! How would this concept be hard for you to comprehend and grasp? Tell me; does inhaling fumes from the oil industry render someone into becoming totally inept at understanding the opposite sex?

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

POF Men Photo's Posted: 6/26/2009 6:51:53 PM
Have you thought that maybe they simply want to warn potential dates how truly CO- DEPENDENT they can be ?

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

I believed his every word...now I'm left with a broken heart Posted: 6/25/2009 1:53:58 PM
Has anyone ever told you “WHEN ONE LOANS MONEY IT IS A GAMBLE". Unless you are fully ok with the possibility of loosing those funds and never seeing your cash again then DO NOT LOAN ”. More importantly: Ask yourself why you would loan out money to someone whom you only recently met ONLINE! Are you that desperate to arrive at the point of trying to PURCHASE SOMEONE'S LOVE? Stop painting yourself as a martyr - LEARN FROM THIS MISTAKE. You are the only one who dispursed the money to a STRANGER and now you should assume the consequences of a foolish lack of good judgement. Self pitty will only make you repeat this mistake once again.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

what is a reasonable amount of time before making a committment Posted: 6/22/2009 8:00:20 AM
I would be interestered to know if men have a certain time frame in mind before making a committment in the relationship I believe it depends on the intensity and quality of the relationship at hand. Each relationship is unique. I seriously doubt there are established gender guidelines that deal with the issue of commitment vs. suitable time frame. It sounds to me as if you are more in need of branding your relationship with the title of exclusive relationship than the other party involved in this issue. I wonder why? Ask yourself if you may have co-dependency issues that are not yet resolved!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Should I go out with this guy? Posted: 6/22/2009 7:48:27 AM
I think your gut reaction is dead on. Don't waste any of your time, energy and personality on this person. Move on to someone who is not going to place you on hold for a month. It must have been one hell of a long assigment from work for him to have took that long to get back to you!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 7 (view)

I am from Phoenix, AZ and I smoke cigarrettes! Posted: 6/22/2009 7:43:12 AM
Raised in the city, I have never felt so rejected. Sorry but I think that you look for sympathy to avoid dealing with an addiction that is very unhealthy. You cast yourself as a perceived rejected martyr in the dating pool due to a disgusting habit. It is another excuse for you to remain an adamant smoker and buck the trend to quit. (I’ll do it in my own time-frame) DATING FACTS ARE (1) Smokers breathe is disgusting - even if you pop three packs of tik-taks an hour. When one dates a smoker it does reek when you attempt to kiss them. You are a pretty lady, it must be a shock for the men when they arrive at the point of kissing you. (2) Second hand smoke kills! If for health reasons I opt not to smoke then why would I go place myself in a situation where I am put my health at risk. You should try to respect the temple that is your body and seek medical help before you end up with an iron lung and no prospect for dates.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

Is a 15 year age gap embarrassing? Posted: 6/22/2009 7:15:30 AM
Embarrasing for whom? Ask yourself if one should take note of what other people have to say concerning relationships they hold? Question if opinions become more valid and ultimately outweight emotional feelings? If he is acting as if the opinion of others is very important and is uncomfortable with the current age gap then he is not as emotionally mature as his physical apperance would lead one to believe..... Dont you think that you deserve more than being simply his "Secret Special Friend"?!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

Why would a lady post a prego pic on a dating site? Posted: 6/21/2009 2:50:19 PM
Yes they have to know or they are SIMPLY CLUELESS -- either way -- its a waste of our time. They should post their prego pics on www.patheticdaycare.com

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Are men offended when asked for pic? Posted: 6/21/2009 8:15:45 AM
I also believe it strange and often unsafe to maintain conversations with faceless entities - especially when it comes to women holding on line conversations and slowly revealing themself to an unknown party. The policy of NO PHOTO NO REPLY should stand and be maintained to secure a level of safety. Some wackos will always place a fake photo but its doubtful they will have a series of pictures of some fake persona. You never know who is hidding out there in the wacky world of the web. Should someone request a picture - one should not be offended - they are being smart. If one has nothing to hide then they will comply with the request.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Is it me or him being odd? Posted: 6/21/2009 7:57:03 AM
He is not odd -- you are silly! Silly The situation is really very simple and clear. I cannot comprehend what part has got you so confused. His actions speak clearly. He is demonstrating that he is only interested in you as a friend – Good Morning etc…. He is overcompensating in providing you additional attention for having expressed his disinterest in you as a love connection. He does not want to totally crush your self esteem therefore he is trying to make certain that you feel loved, valued and appreciated as his FRIEND.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 9 (view)

Do men prefer to make love or have sex? Posted: 6/17/2009 5:53:36 AM
Is there something I don’t know? Is there a difference between the two? I thought that the true art to making love was including the wildness of sheer sex and yet include passion, commitment and sincerity into the mix.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

is it really love or just for comfort? Posted: 6/16/2009 6:55:29 AM
No or very little amount of sexual intimacy between partners of the opposite sex will often result with that relationship ultimately redefining itself as being “friendly acquaintances”. The union will redefine and establish new boundaries until it drifts off and deteriorates completely. No sex is a certified warning signal for truly having no relationship between a male and female.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

If you aren't sexually compatible first is it a huge mistake to be getting involved?. Posted: 6/7/2009 6:31:05 PM
Its not a mistake -- but it is a massive waste of time ! Check your calender its 2009 and I seriously doubt that you are still in high school going out on your first round of dates. I suggest you accept the reality that SEX is and will always be the foundation to a solid relationship for most heterosexual males and if you cannot handle that aspect of the male psyche then join a convent of nuns or purchase yourself a copy of the film " sex in the city " and start biatching against the male gender!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 13 (view)

Does posting you don't believe in casual sex stop people who ask you out from expecting sex?? Posted: 12/7/2008 4:51:49 AM
Un Spoken: My question to you is: Will it lessen the number of people wanting to "date you" or will it FILTER OUT the level of shallow individuals seeking a cheap short term thrill with no level of honest comitement?

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 6 (view)

Still checks out profile, but why? Posted: 12/7/2008 4:44:16 AM
Marianina There are a couple of expressed issues that sound concerning. (1) You remain silently "interested" in the behavior of a man that has clearly expressed to you his non- interest in being an active participant in a relationship. ...I'm looking for something more serious than him. I would like to have tried but he was worried about involvement. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The fact that he lands on your profile may indicate two things; (1) Physically he is attracted to YOUR TYPE -- "retain word: PHYSICALLY". (2) Currently not many candidates in your area do pop up on his list of potential POF females owing the same catalog of desired traits that he has listed as attractive; (Age, Sex, Divorce-separated status, etc.) There is a huge curiosity level on this site. You should not focus on every action of a new acquaintance as being an indication of a "sign of attraction". Unfortunately should you continue trying to second guess his behavior, you may end up being disappointed at having searched for something that will never materialize on his part! he was worried about involvement. You even hope to obtain replies within this post that may confirm to you that he is only gun shy yet truly attracted to you . . . Are you not?

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Am I going to make a bad impression? Posted: 12/2/2008 5:28:00 AM
Is Dave making you feel uncertain about your own personal selection for a costume? YES Is Dave trying to tell you that you'll end up being TOO ALLURING for the event? YES Has Dave a possible hidden agenda___ behind all of his unsolicited comments?- insert: jealousy ? Only you can reply honestly to this question. I do believe your ansewr is going to be another affirmative response!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 17 (view)

Would you be upset? Posted: 12/2/2008 5:17:50 AM
Why would you even focus on "possibilities" of the PAST ? If you feel that you CURRENTLY have a solid relationship with your mate then LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT - Enjoy every moment NOW and stop focusing on probablilities of the past? It does sound as if someone may be attempting to make you question & doubt the status of your current relationship. Could that someone be envious of your level of happiness? Who knows! (1) Dont devote much energy or time on trying to understand their behaviour! (2) Dont try to get even with them or even hate their warpped actions. Simply keep the focus upon your CURRENT happiness!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Why to guys change their location? Posted: 11/30/2008 9:25:42 PM
Angel Ever rent the DVD "Fatal Attraction" ? Maybe that's why????

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

For You? Posted: 11/30/2008 5:09:44 AM
How would a female lavishing an amount of attention on us make men feel less male? How does gender enter into the equation? Don't you believe that an act of kindness, a gift combined with attention make us feel apreciated? However, were no fools - we can often tell when a female is trying to purchase our affection via material objects! (After all . . . we invented the ploy!) As for romantic gestures ; Possibly the most effective remains the one that does come from the heart; Example - A handwritten detailing what we mean to you that is placed into an enveloppe ( * combined with the insertion of hockey tickets to a Montreal Canadiens game ! -- LOL)

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 4 (view)

oral sex versus intercourse? Posted: 11/29/2008 9:59:54 PM
........I always like to start with oral sex on my partner, I tend to get carried away and have to decide, while I'm performing oral sex, if I want to give up intercourse........... OK then ~ What you are trying to reveal to us is that you are a fun girl at heart ? My one question to you: (Q) Why do some people turn the simplest pleasure into a major drama worthy of being an entire 60 minute episode of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES ? Just where do you read fear of emotional attachement ? You're old enough to comprehend the simplicity of the situation: YOU suck -- HE cums -- HE satisfied -- He BYE BYE ! Fact is; After most men cum -- they are seldom into anything else (even a vagina) for at least 5 minutes.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

What if you need grooming? Posted: 11/29/2008 9:38:10 PM
On the first reply? Are you being serious? LOL ~ BLOCK ! For someone to supply their opinion on the first reply – they would have to own a massive ego combined with a false perception of their role in life. I doubt that any official Fashionista Guru for North America is currently lurking on this site. That first reply would end them up being their last contact with me … Permanent block! FYI: Men are not fools and this is no longer 1968. We often consult several points of reference to become informed on how to groom. Magazines such as Men’s Healthy, GQ etc. provide us with sound advice to educate the prehistoric men of the world with unibrows. (PS: I’ve met women with such a bushy feature on the forehead) Why would men ever need to entertain the opinion of an unknown from POF? I guess what it comes down to – is BEING TACKFUL…. An art in manners that is often learned with the advent of maturity.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

I finally figured it out Posted: 11/28/2008 6:22:26 PM
1001001sos Dude, - First thing first! You appearance is perfect so loose that “I am a looser” attitude. You appear to be a handsome man. When I read your profile, I found you to have a sharp witty sense of humor. However, a humor trait does not always appeal to females. Most women have dated and met smartasses who think they are humorous when in fact they are insulting! Therefore you may want to tweek your profile a little. Don't remove the humor but stop calling yourself a "Geek". I doubt being geek’ish is a hot turn on with the female gender! Also – Your listing of interests is specific: Do you believe most women comprehend the items enumerated on you list? I had no clue. Possibly restructure your interests and state them in terms that are more general! Example: MUSIC- MOVIES- FINE DINING- SCIENCE FICTION BOOKS etc... Now ~ Think of yourself as being in "TRAINING". You are sort of like ROCKY! If you want your current situation to change then you must do work to fine tune your life . When I read this post, I felt you had a strong identification with the role of being a victim in life. “Its out of my control”. That is not good for you and it's not good for anyone wanting to date you. You have to abandon this mentality immediately or you will continue to attract the identical situations back into your life. If you keep stating: "there has never been even one female that I know that was attracted to me" -- you are prophesying your own destiny. Do you truly believe women want to date a guy who views himself as a looser? Would you want to be with a female that will say "Nobody wants to be with me – Im such an Ugly Betty!"? Now start to work at making those changes happen in your life. Read the book the “Law of Attraction” by E. Hicks – This book will provide you to refocus your life and bring to your doorstep what you really desire out of life. You seem to have a solid basis to build upon! Good Luck,

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 8 (view)

whens the right time to say.....................or not? Posted: 11/28/2008 5:24:12 PM
Silky After viewing your photo with leather jacket on your profile page -- I doubt you have to mention anything. People will just know! ('not that theres anything wrong with that' -- to quote Seinfeld)

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

i dont understand? my husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore Posted: 11/28/2008 5:14:57 PM
Youpickthename Oh Boy ~ This situation cannot be resolved by any member of your family. No other person can get involved & inform your exe that his actions and behaviour is no longer acceptable to you and your child. You must take FULL CONTROL of this situation. (1) Tell him respectfully that you wish him well but you would appreciate if he maintains a reasonable distance from you and YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS ~ ASAP. (2) Inform him that it is difficult for you and your child to juggle financial responsibilities. You want to raise your child to become decent outstanding adult and he should not manipulate his child to be an informer by divulging your personal private information concerning the state of your life. Remember no child is stupid -- they always know when parents use them. His behavior is not providing your child with a healthy image of how to behave as a responsible adult. If he truly loved his child this behavior would stop immediately – its unhealthy and controlling. You have to seize the moment and tell him "Hell No, it ain't going to be this way anymore~`" You can’t rely on voices of individuals surrounding you to verbally fight your battle with this childish man. Good Luck,

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

Dad bashes son on 2nd date, what does it mean? Posted: 11/28/2008 4:40:03 PM
Tell your friend it’s really not ABOUT HER -- at all! Her focus should remain on the problem --> (father and son) and its not about herrself! If anything, she is an insignificant pawn in the father’s dysfunctional game to manipulate his family. The father wants to belittle the son to maintain control and remain the Alpha Male of that household. Even the concept of having the father drive (dady is desperately trying to maintain control - pure Alpha Male attitude) Everything you described screams a highly dysfunctional family. I would seriously wait prior to informing the son about his father's verbal bashing. At this point in time, it will not produce a positive result for the boy to be informed about his father’s betrayal. The son does not need his ego to be additionally bruised. If the father is willing to talk against his son behind his back to a stranger -- can you imagine at what level the father verbally blurts insults to his son when they are behind closed doors? The father’s attempt to trash the son's reputation BEHIND HIS BACK is a lame attempt to manipulate and assume control. The poor son is probably dealing with emotional issues surrounding his self-esteem and will have difficulty revealing it to anyone. Usually when parent bashes their child's reputation to new acquaintance it can indicate issues with control. No sane parent is going to emotionally crush their child without awarding them the opportunity to prove them wrong.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 19 (view)

Break UPS Posted: 11/27/2008 6:34:53 PM
Most female responding to this thread cannot wait to point out to all of us that men do the exact behavior. Big deal! – Youre missing the point. This gentleman is asking us how to resolve and deal with his current feelings of loss. Id suggest to you him to: (1) Concentrate on "present time" and focus on the priorities in his life – his own personal ambitions /goals. (2) Let go of the past. Attempting to warn another stranger (male) about the behavior of an exe is a temporary excuse to divert one's attention away from concentrating on the task at hand….yourself! The anger and resentment expressed in his post that harbors resentment toward his exe will slowly eat away at his energy and pride. (3) Find a hobby that he is fully passionate about. Try enrolling in a group with peers that enjoy the same pastime. Once a mind is occupied, one will become open to meeting new individuals and welcoming new possibilities into their life. One can create their own destiny if one desires. One can also destroy their future by living within the boundaries of the past!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

Is casual sex getting a bad rap in our society? Posted: 11/27/2008 9:03:52 AM
MAN HATTAN: I have no idea how long your relationship as been but rest assured that it is a new era and we must be carefull. Have you never heard of STDs? How about: Scabbies? Lyce? Herpes? Gonorrhea? Clamydhia? Genital Warts? Syphillis? One reason STDs spread is because people think they need to have sexual intercourse to become infected. That's wrong. A person can get some STDs, like herpes or genital warts, through casual skin-to-skin contact with an infected area or sore. You can get them all over your body on such regions as on your tongue, inside the mouth, Vagina, penis etc. Is it not better to have a full picture of a possible partners sexual history prior to jumping into bed with them? Does one really need the hassle of going into a clinic to verify if they have a symptom or worst yet – have been infected with HIV?

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Im confused? Posted: 11/27/2008 8:48:22 AM
I believe that HE did want to be FRIENDS -- and only friends. Could you have had a hidden agenda that you did not admit to yourself -- even to this day? Most men can pick up on this vibe! He may have also not owned adequate social skills to match his written words and thus found excuses to cancel your proposed rendez-vous. I doubt that I would invest so much of my time trying to analyze the behavior of an ONLINE ACCAINTANCE. I'd discard and move on!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 15 (view)

Could it turn into something more? Posted: 11/27/2008 8:18:54 AM
Uhhh? It would be nice if everything turned out like the screenplay "When Harry Met Sally" but men often won’t react to life and relationships in such a manner. Honestly, it sounds as if you’re turning into his good female confidante. A female pal with a feminine perspective to offer on life. However, you sound as if you still hope to arrive at another level with this man. Don't get trapped into believing this is going to evolve and flourish into THE great romance. Chances are -- it won’t! Live firmly in the present moment, cherish this friendship and be an shoulder for him to lean upon. I strongly suggest you start using the phrase you said below as your new life mantra! He's still very much into his EX & he does not want to lead me on in any way

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 5 (view)

what is really going on? Posted: 11/27/2008 8:01:30 AM
Can anyone explain to me what really happened? We can only take a guess but truly cannot explain his actions! You need to open up lines of dialogue with this person to arrive at & discover the root of his actions. If I were to place a betting guess - I would assume that he wants a "relationship" at all cost with ANYONE. His actions demonstrate the need to own the comfort of a relationship as a way for this person to feel whole ~ somewhat like a junkie needing a constant fix of crack cocaine. He may have found you to be too grounded to psychologically manipulate. He does sound as if he is emotionally dependant and you sound solid within your own identity & self esteem. (Q:) Do you really need the burden of a relationship that constantly revolves around fulfilling another person's emotional weakness' & needs? Hummm -- I did not think you did!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Need honest advice,do i give ' desperate signals to men? Posted: 11/23/2008 9:35:37 PM
OP: I think you are trying to tell us that you don't obtain a reply from men once you have meet them? I would honestly like to assist you with a valid response but you completely lost my interest after 20 minutes of lecture. Is there a way you could give us the abbreviated version of your post? Cause currently it reads like a long Danielle Steel novel. I doubt many people are going to attack such a wordy post. PS: In the future ~ spell check might be a good option to consider (it will make it easier for us to comprehend once we understand the wording)!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Am I over reacting? Posted: 11/23/2008 9:03:41 PM
Not to be mean but . . . YES ~ you over react BIG TIME ! ! ! The type of irrational behavior you describe in your post could honestly drive most sane men away. Take a "chill pill" with some wine. Scratch wine for what you may need is . . . BEEFEATER on ice! Get a grip & keep yourself occupied. Don't you have any hobbies , any circle of friends? You sound desperate & very " HIGH MAINTENANCE ". Once a secure male senses desperation within your tone &/or behavior; they'll run from you ASAP & even faster than if you had an outbreak of crabs! Oh and on a second note: I guess I'm just tired of guys saying they like me when they don't mean it. Do YOURSELF a huge favor and try hard to loose that horrible "VICTIM MENTALITY" demonstrated in your phrase above! Remember your past experiences are part of the past & you must NOW live a full life by focusing totally on "PRESENT TIME"! Good luck to you & hope you did not mind if I was honest & may have shook you up ~ just a little!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 14 (view)

Do guys really like the chase? Posted: 11/23/2008 3:44:13 AM
Do guys really like the chase? To be totally honest with you, as a young male, "the chase" is a somewhat novel & exciting dating game. However as males "mature" (aka: become older & hopefully wiser) they usually run out of steam and then it becomes tedious for them to maintain the same rapid swift pace of participating in "the chase". Males can slowly become "Geritol James Bonds" ! Females know more details on the chase ~ a recent book "The Rules" released in the mid-1990s delt with the topic. That specific book offended many men including myself. The average male will loudly deny ever having participated in "playing dating games" - (AKA: THE CHASE) yet most become participants in this social ritual at one point in time. Men often rant that they've never done such a thing. The female gender is often more coy at playing and orchestrating "the Chase". Rule of thumb; if you truly like the company of someone then do as you feel. Toss out the book and call them back if you like them. GO WITH THE FLOW of TIMING. Just be yourself and it will be easier for you to connect or disconnect.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 3 (view)

Im new to this. What do you think of my profile? Posted: 11/21/2008 10:06:22 AM
Q: Do you really think the first impression a female should have of you is one looking like a MOOSE? Are women in your region attracted to the "Bullwinkle" look? You seem to be a handsome man -- so why not retake the profile photo and highlight your features to ATTRACT A FEMALE as opposed to SCARING THEM OFF. The photo looks somewhat "frat house"!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

Any help appreciated Posted: 11/21/2008 10:01:25 AM
Just one small suggestion. The profile reads nice but . . . the main profile picture (uhhh) You should replace your current main photo with the one titled "Going to your cousins wedding". Now the look you cast in that photo sizzles!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 11 (view)

Take a look and tell me what ya think :) Posted: 11/21/2008 9:52:29 AM
I felt the same way about your profile as the person who made the comments in Msg 3. It appears as if youre "trying hard" to be everything to everyone. Also -- that photo ! Jeeez - your main photo is not even in focus. Ok ~ you have cleavage! Placing that photo as the primary image indicated to me that you believe men fixate upon your boosom. I'd alter the primary photo for one of the others. In my opinion the other images are more alluring; they reveal your eyes and how they'll cast a look at a potential mate. ~~~ Far more sexy!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 20 (view)

submissive??? Posted: 11/21/2008 9:43:32 AM
Everyone is different. No sexual practice is basic and "normal"! If it does not offend you and you are not "turned off" by his request then --- go for it!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 21 (view)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Posted: 11/20/2008 5:26:34 PM
Its a nice misguided sentiment to place -- INSIDE HALLMARK CARDS. Is it realistic? In my opinion -- NO. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder if anything it helps the eyes to wander!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 10 (view)

sub-dom fantasies Posted: 11/18/2008 8:49:07 PM
What's with the idea of being the boss at work and the slave in bed I detect a massive dose of sarcasms in the tone of that closing remark. It made you appear as a narrow minded & non imaginative sexual being. Why not explore various scenarios? Did you not know that it’s not always great to purchase same two scoops of vanilla ice-cream when Baskin & Robbins can offer you a wide variety that is just as good!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

Is it every ok to contact an ex? Posted: 11/18/2008 8:37:00 PM
Get over it -- Jeeez you only went out A COUPLE OF MONTHS ~ Why try to mold a normal fling into "the Great Romance of All Time" within your own mind? Simply move forward -- it appears clearly to me that he is trying to provide you with very subtle yet straight forward hints that he's NO LONGER interrested. ~~ GAME OVER! Have you noticed within your description that all the reactive actions eminate from you ? . . . so I kept the lines of communication open . . . I finally asked him As for your own "Harlequin" moment: I cannot get him out of my mind, I have tried, and other dates pale in comparison LMAO Sounds like pure dimestore "Cliche" catchphrases spewed by a potential sconered stalker. Do yourself a huge favor and MOVE ON'

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 16 (view)

What is right? Posted: 11/17/2008 10:23:26 PM
You should rephrase your question; Is it wrong to look for love only a year after.... because and NO it's not wrong at all! You have nothing to feel guilty about -- you are not cheating his memory. You will always have his memory to chersih but he would certainly not want you to live the rest of your existence on earth as if you were no longer living. If he loved and respected you -- then he wants you to be happy in the moment you are!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 12 (view)

Quebec Election...time to go? Posted: 11/17/2008 7:26:21 PM
We are really having elections ? Wow ~ imagine it will be held at the same time as the Santa Parade. How appropriate cause I believe in the Quebec leaders just as much as I believe that there IS a Santa Claus! Well I do know for whom I will vote --- Hillary Clinton . . . all the way!

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 2 (view)

What does it mean when a guys does this....? Posted: 11/16/2008 9:17:06 PM
SIMPLE RULES FOR MODERN DATING ~ 101 (1) Male likes Female. Attraction is affirmative. Male will ask female out for second meeting. Should connection be positive then male will attempt to arrange a second &/or third rendezvous. (2) Male does not bond with Female. Male remains socially polite upon initial encounter ~ sparing feelings of the feminine gender yet will neglect to pursue and may attempt to avoid all contact. * flirting is not an indication of true attraction - Flirting is verbal banter that will color a conversation between the sexes.

zentimes

Joined: 12/31/2006

Msg: 18 (view)

You want honesty? Posted: 11/15/2008 4:15:27 PM
Honesty ?~ LOL . . . on a site such as this? LOL ~ Have you not noticed that the majority of males are constantly searching for sexual gratification since the age of 14? Do you believe that men really want or truly need "friendship" from a female? Its a novel concept but hell no - We usually have a broad range of male buddies with whom we bond, watch hockey, play sports, etc... We really don't have that need to be fufilled by females. Therefore what can females really provide for men and bring into a relationship? SEX ! You may not appreciate my honesty but its a no BS reply! Women have this pre-programmed social desire to project themself as a pure & virginal person ~ ( Most hope they are a duplicate of Olivia Newton John character in "Grease "~ a good girl). Funny thing is the women on this site profess in the majority to not seek out any man on this site who has searched for an intimate encounters (LOL). Any male on this site who is not truly seeking intimate encounters with a female is either (1) in need of purchasing some Viagra, (2) Brain dead, or (3) Gay!

Show ALL Forums