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smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Can I get a profile review please. Posted: 6/12/2008 12:36:34 AM
I just wanted to add a couple of comments to your question. I think that your profile is a little dry & too serious, as I had a hard time understanding what you were trying to convey. You might also try changing the wording so it flows together better. If I were you, I would delete the part about the business not working out as some woman would take this as you're unsuccessful. Which doesn't necessarily mean this, but this is how it comes off. I would have liked to see a more "positive" & upbeat attitude in your profile. Finally, when I see that someone is separated & still married this is a real"turn-off" to me and I won't contact them. Sorry, but I believe in finishing something before starting something else. I hope that this helps you!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Single Parents Posted: 6/12/2008 12:03:48 AM
Hello Sean, It sounds to me like she is just playing games with you. If I were you I would tell her (next time that she calls) to come to where you live, so you can help her and I would stick to my guns. If she refuses, then I would cut her loose until the babies are born and have a DNA test performed to see if you're the father. If you are the father then contact a lawyer to find out your rights to these children. Unfortuantely there isn't much you can do at this point as you can't control another person's actions. I don't think that you have an obligation to her at this point ,unless she is willing to be near you and receive good pre-natal care. Otherwise ,I wouldn't send her a dime! Just my two cents. And good luck!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Am I wrong, you make the call... Posted: 5/31/2008 12:01:37 AM
I think that you are wrong to just assume that she was going to pay for your sprite. I think that you said it all when you said "I think nothing of it". Well, I was wondering if you were the one always doing the paying, if you'd still think that way. Maybe she has had people use her in the past and so she's kinda touchy on the subject. In my opinion, (unless its a date) irregardless of who invites whom out-everyone should pay their own way. Personally, I think that you should always treat people the way that you want to be treated. And if you really like her-offer to pay for your soda & ask her out again. If she refuses, then at least you'll know that you did the right thing. Just my two cents!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Why men don't talk about their feelings (an explanation, warning, it's a long one) Posted: 5/24/2008 11:46:03 AM
I agree with AppleGeek, some people have gotton off the subject somewhat with some negative bashing of the other sex. And I think that very reason is why the divorce rate is so high! One man wrote how maybe men don't talk too little and in fact that maybe women talk too much. This statement says to me that the man is right and that the woman is wrong. This is not the case at all! I had to do a research paper for one of my classes awhile back on the differing communications styles of men & women. They are so different in their approaches and some of that has to do with their upbringing and the morals & values (or lack of, that their parents displayed to them or taught them). For example, men are suppose to be tough & not sensitive and not cry or they are called "sissies". I think that this is a mistake , because I find sensitivity to be a good quality in a man, but I have rarely found it in my male relationships. Also men are more blunt & direct and to the point and woman (being nurturers) are more soft-spoken and tend to care about others feelings & have a tendency to be more careful in our words to one another. When men comment to a woman on a certain subject & the woman neither objects or agrees with him, but says very little-the man automatically tend to just assume that she agrees with him, when in fact she isn't voicing her opinion one way or the other. I could go on & on, (I don't want to get accused of talking too much! Ha!), but the point is no one sex (man or woman) is right or wrong)-they're just different and if we're ever going to get along in male/female relationships we ought to quit the bashing and learn to understand & communicate effectively with one another. In order for this to happen, both men & woman have to put forth the "real effort" to really understand one another. Just my two cents.

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Why Do Men Overlook Good Women? Posted: 5/21/2008 8:29:47 PM
I thought this section had some really good comments in their posts, but I have to agree with mthomjmark. I also think that too many woman & men are too much into looks. I think this mind set is a mistake, because there are many ways to be attractive to someone, such as you might be attracted to their personality. I know some men who have contacted me and I can tell by talking with them that they didn't bother to read my profile, only looked and commented on my picture. Still other men have told me certain things about my profile, showing me that they were interested in my personality and not just hung up on looks. This is the man that I'm searching for! I have known many men & woman that I thought was good-looking, only to discover they left a lot to be desired in having anything likeable or good about their personality-then they were no longer good-looking to me. In my opinion, some people might be missing out on true happiness because they only look at the outside and not is whats on the inside. Just my two cents!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

NO replies, NO messages and Only the Oddest fish in my net Posted: 3/17/2008 3:14:23 AM
Hello susanjzb, I think that you were just being honest about Pamela Pretty and I agree with your comments. I thought that her profile came accross to me as kinda critical & judgemental and the remark about" if a guy can dance "might make some guys look elsewhere. Also I thought her profile (wording) sounded kinda negative. Although she is an attractive woman there is more slim pickins at our (middle age) and the picker you are about someone-the less chances that you'll have. Although we all have some traits of "must haves", if you she has too many (such as looking for perfection) then she might just be setting herself up to receive less emails. However, it is her choice. Just my two cents!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

NO replies, NO messages and Only the Oddest fish in my net Posted: 3/17/2008 3:02:34 AM
Hello jimjim947, Come on now "I can even fake sincerity if needed". I can't believe that you wrote this in your profile. Were you trying to be funny or are you serious? Nobody wants someone that is fake or insincere! Would you? This statement was a real turn-off to me, and I can't imagine that a woman would contact you after reading this in your profile. And you might try taking some more flattering photos. The one with the magnifiying glass in front of your eyes actually made me nausea. This is a dating site, not a freak show! Good luck!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

New to this and I could use some help. Posted: 3/17/2008 2:38:35 AM
Hello Konstantine84, I don't see a thing wrong with you or your profile as you're as cute as you can be. However, you're way too young for me and too far away! Ha! Seriously, it looks great to me. You might try being romantic about your first date with a potential woman. Try describing where you would take her and be very decriptive about it like flowers on the table and candles lit and maybe a glass of wine. Let your creativity shine. Ladies come and get this nice man as he won't last long! Good luck to you!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

HELP! Please review my profile. Posted: 3/17/2008 2:32:34 AM
Hello Mercymelove, I think that your photos are about average. However, the first one is too close up (I think) to be flattering. And the second one is the best one of all but it looks like that you are mad. I suspect that you just have some photos displayed that don't do you justice. If I were you I would try having someone take some more photos of me and try to look unposed and natural as possible. Your profile is fine and if I were you I would try letting your personality shine through a little more with putting a personalized touch in it. I don't mean to offend you but just my two cents! Good luck!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Looking for a review Posted: 3/17/2008 1:59:31 AM
Hello Ruthie, I thought that you have a nice profile and that it was adequate length. Not too long or too short.However, like someone else suggested ,I would consider using your last photo as your main or primary photo, as the one with the towel covers up your mouth. Otherwise, it looks fine to me! Good luck!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child? Posted: 3/15/2008 5:31:33 PM
Hello spitfire6844, I don't think that it should raise red flags when a middle-age woman has a child and becomes a single mom. Because I was married to my son's father when I had my ten year old son and we got divorced when he was only two. I never planned it that way-sometimes thing between two people just don't work out. My son wasn't an accident and he was "planned for" so no mistakes here. And my first husband made me a widow at age 36 and he couldn't have children. So I had my son when I was 39 and turned 40 the next month. Sometimes things just happen!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Would you date a middle aged woman with a young child? Posted: 3/15/2008 4:57:41 PM
I totally agree with "breathlesshush"! And yes, I would date a man (if I liked him) irregardless of whether he had children or not. I felt the need to respond to this subject because I am also a single mom of a ten year old son and I am 50. I have been on this site for about a year and I have already experienced many negative replys from men saying that "they don't want to be a daddy" and "they want alone time with me" and even had one email recently where a guy told me that he didn't care about my having a young son "because he could take care of himself". I am still trying to figure out the meaning of the email because my son is only half grown. This is my opinion on the subject, as woman & men it is our "free choice" as to whether we want children or not. I'd much rather see people not have children, than have children and not take care of them. However, since I already have a son a potential mate would have to accept my son in order to have a relationship with me. Period!!!And I would be accepting of a guy that also had children living at home. I also didn't plan to be a single parent but it just turned out that way due to circumstances beyond my control. Another thing that I've found out about some of the men on this site is that they don't want children because they want 100% of the womans time and are unwilling to share. In my opinion, only a selfish or very self-centered person would feel this way! I also see a "red flag" when I read a man's profile that says that he doesn't have any kids and that he also doesn't want any. I "won't" respond to this guy's profile. However, for the guys of you that are open-minded and have a big enough heart to allow someone else's child into your life-my hats off to you! You are a "rare & special" guy and that is the man that I'm looking for. I, myself, want the "family thing"! If you don't- then it is your loss! Just my two cents on the subject!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

distance... 30 miles? Posted: 5/6/2007 2:50:30 PM
No, I would not let 30 miles keep me away from a potential life partner. I think that it would be nice to find your soul-mate right next door-but don't think that its going to happen! Ha! I only accept and reply to emails within my state, because out of state relationships are hard to have physical contact. Which I feel is necessary for a healthy relationship. Now with this said, I would like to tell you that I have emailed guys from my state (maybe 50-100 miles away), and they refuse to talk with me because they say that this distance is to far. This comment makes me wonder about them as having realistic expectations and whether or not that they are willing to put forth some effort in a meaningful relationship. Then I know that they're not the person for me. I have also talked with some men that for some reason or other (vision problem), expect for me to come (drive to their town), because they're unable to. Usually I see a red flag about this as to whether or not this relationship will be a two-way street. In other words, are they willing to give and take in the relationship and not just one-sided. Because I am looking for a two-way relationship. When I met my son's father I drove eight-hours one way to meet him and it was worth the drive. We maintained a seven month long-distance relationship and then we eventually married. If I hadn't been willing to travel, then we'd never met. So I say go for it and what do you have to lose but some gas money. To me this isn't a big deal, because I would like to find a meaningful relationship! I say go for it!!!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 205 (view)

I figured out the girls on POF Posted: 4/24/2007 11:21:42 PM
Hi gravity vortex, I was just recently thinking that about some of the men on this site. They look in the mirror and see a 9 when in reality they are a 3 or down. Are they really facing reality when they weigh a whopping 275 lbs and want a weight & height proportionate woman? I don't think that these guys can get a barbie if they aren't even close to a ken. I assume that these men are the ones who have the bad eye site and need to look in the mirror again and face reality!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Because you don't give them a picture on the FIRST hello, they block you? Posted: 3/12/2007 11:24:38 AM
NotAPlayerRU, first of all, I do understand where your coming from and I don't blame you a bit for not posting your photo. Is your choice! I have also had men block me and refuse to even say hello because I don't have a pic with my profile. Although my reasons are different from yours, in that I don't have a scanner to upload one. And Kinkos's won't do it for me, because it is a professional photo and they don't want to be sued due to copyright laws. I am usually behind the camera, instead of in front of it, and don't presently have any regular snap shots. Now with that said, my two cents on the photo subject. I often respond to guys without a photo, because I am more interested in their personalities, than their looks. Although,there does have to be a mutual attraction, I agree. Some men on this site take it to an extreme and assume that you are dog ugly if you don't post a photo and to me this is the wrong assumption as I am very attractive. If a guy asks me for a photo right away before even saying hello to me then this is a red flag to me that he is shallow and hung up on looks too much and doesn't care about her personally, just concerned about what she looks like so that he can have a worthy trophy to show off to other guys. I usually am not at all attracted to this type of guy, which is several on this site. Now, if I at least spoken several times to a guy and I like him and we have something in common and he asks for my picture, I will mail him one. The funny thing to me is that the uglist and overweight guys seem to be the pickest and it makes you wonder if they ever look into the mirror and are honest with themselves about what they really look like. However, I find myself to be a kind person and don't like to hurt others feelings, but come on. You can't expect a Barbie doll, if your not even close to Ken. You'll never get your fantasy. And you will be on this site years from now still looking. Thats fine with me. Also another of my opinion is that sometimes a guys photo is a deterient to me, because he is so ugly I don't know if I could actually bring myself to even look at him during dinner, much less kiss him. HeHe! Once again, you go girl because you have my support!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

Why is it so hard for women to accept a single older dad? Posted: 2/9/2007 3:38:53 AM
justme, you took the words out of my mouth. I was thinking the same thing when I read the single older dads post. He is not only rude and tackless, but like you said he also isn't slim, attractive or handsome either! This man seems (like a lot of them) to be only looking for a fantasy. Single older dad, you need to face reality and don't expect something if you don't have something in return to offer. Sorry to be rude, but you openned the subject!!!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 1303 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 1/24/2007 11:18:30 AM
I totally agree with you fifi47. I don't have a pic with my profile for several reasons besides mainly not having a way to upload one. But I am like you, if the guy is too shallow to respond to my profile because he is just looking for a model type or barbie doll, then he is not for me. I understand that there has to be some mutual attraction to begin a relationship. However, if I have a man asks for a picture of me right off the bat, then I see a red flag, that he is all about looks and probably doesn't care about the women's personality. I think that the part that I find ridicoulous and funny is that the least attractive guys are usually the pickest. I wonder if they ever look in the mirror at themselves. And if they do-do they face REALITY! I think that the biggest problem is that some guys (not all) just ASSUME that because you don't have a pic with your profile, that you have to be dog ugly. However, to make assumptions is wrong and you fellows could be missing out on a nice and pretty woman, because of this judgements. Good luck to all in your search!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

women go on dating sites to tell guys, they have no time... Posted: 1/18/2007 3:15:53 PM
Normally I don't post many messages on this site, but this one I had to respond to. I am a single Mom, a full-time student and work also. I really don't have much free time and in my case and I am not blowing guys off. Some woman might do this-but give us good gals the benefit of a doubt. These times are hard, with such a fast-paced society and everyone (including employers) expect so much of you. Although I haven't dated for awhile, because didn't know how I would fit that into an already busy-busy lifestyle, I still get lonesome for a male companion. If a woman if truely interested in you she will eventually find the time for a date. However, with this said, don't expect for her to call in work or flunk a midterm test just to meet you, pronto. But just don't assume anything, or you could lose out on a great lady. Some of us woman REALLY are BUSY!!! Online dating takes time and I believe that its important to have patience with people, woman & men. Some woman like me really are sincere! I really am BUSY!!!

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Can Physical Attraction Grow? Posted: 1/14/2007 1:59:35 PM
Hi goodguy302006, I can't speak for other woman, but no, I don't look for physical attraction in a man right away. I'm inclined to look more to his personality and whats in his heart and what he has done with his life so far ( His goals and ambition in life). Although there has to be some chemistry there for both of you to connect in some way-it doesn't have to come from their outward appearance. Haven't you ever met someone who you though was very nice looking-but they had a shody or lacking in personality and suddenly they no longer appealed to you or vice versa? I think that physical attraction can grow-but it usually takes time. The only advice that I can give is to tell people (men & women) to just be realistic in yourself and others.

smileforme49

Joined: 1/7/2007

Msg: 1285 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 1/13/2007 5:46:08 PM
I don't have a pic posted with my profile because I don't have a way to upload one. However I do find it interesting that most guys want a pic right off the bat before hardly speaking to me. I do find that this is kinda shallow and makes me think that they are just too hung up looks and so I'm not interested in them. What I find partculiar is that they really don't seem to believe me when I tell them the truth about why no pic. I think that they are suspicious and expect for me to be ugly or creepy and maybe have a large wart on my nose. Ha! This is not at all the case with me. Another thing is I do understand wanting to see someones pic as I respond to both profiles with or withou photos. However, what I really don't understand and what dumb founds me the most is when I see a pic of a really large (huge) guy and in his profile he says that he is looking for an attractive and slim woman. Or he isn't that godd-looking (borderline creepy) and he wants an attractive woman. I think that some men are looking for a fantasy instead of facing reality and being realistic about thier looks also. Also seeing a pic isn't a sure fire way of securing an honest person because some of the photos could be taken years ago. I prefer the guys like me that are willing to take a chance and try and be interested in their personality instead of being hung up too much with their looks. Sometimes it is a determent to me to see a guys photo because of his looks! However, not too many things in life don't involve some kind of risk. Although I am not beautiful, I am not ugly either and I figure that a lot of guys that won't respond to gals withou a pic is losing out in getting to know a wonderful woman! I hope this response will helps some guys to look in the mirror for thirty minutes before posting their profile. Good luck to all!

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