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Thread: contacting my kids father

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

contacting my kids father Posted: 1/21/2007 11:37:45 AM
{Finally - to what I need an opinion on. He has legal restriction against him from contacting anyone under the age of 14 including his own children. Even though his contact was minimal -lately I have been thinking I should send him a letter and pics of the kids-. Let him know they are beautiful, healthy normal kids.....why am I feeling this??? He could contact me but never would. I don't think I want him to feel bad....or guilty. I just can't imagine what my life would be like to have no contact with them. I know what he has done and must face it. I don't feel sorry for him and shouldn't. My son (13)shows no caring on way or the other. My daughter (12) wants nothing to do with him. Should I send him something....what would you do? What would you say?} Let me understand....he could contact you but doesn't, or won't.....and he has pretty much written off the children by not trying to contact them either, whether before or after his legal restriction went into effect....and your children don't care to have contact with him. This is correct? If this is correct, then you have no reason to give him information about them and may even put you at risk legally for attempting to involve your children in his life, even on the fringe via information and/or pictures. Your efforts will not save him, or put him on the right path. It might even stir up emotions better left alone, where they belong, for all involved. Let's say you do the unthinkable, and send him sweet biographies and photos, and he doesn't respond, or responds in a way that you are not prepared for? How will that make you, or more importantly, your children, feel? You need to consider the whole picture. Put your effort on doing what you need to do, keeping your children safe, emotionally, mentally and physically. Regardless of how you feel about the man, you cannot dictate the feelings of your children, who are now old enough to make a few decisions for themselves. The man, for all intents and purposes, bears no reason to be kept as part of your lives. I know it is very difficult to phathom, I feel you still have mixed feelings for the life you once had with him that your children were part of, but it no longer exists. I think you are very brave for bringing this up. It takes a strong person to reveal infalliblity in their lives, when everyone wants to be seen as sparkling. Stay strong for your children, their lives are more important than anything else.

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 589 (view)

What book are you reading right now? Posted: 1/14/2007 5:18:24 PM
I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, which shocks the sensibilities with incredible impressions of life's richness and strangeness....about an accidental time traveler and the love of his life. Beautifully written and completely unpredictable...

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Can a smoker get a date with a non smoker? Posted: 1/14/2007 3:15:52 PM
I'm finding it more difficult to date these days because I'm a smoker. Don't do the illegal smoking, only the legal. Does anybody else (I know there are) have the same problem? Can the opposite sex tolerate us? I'd like some positive views about it. I know that there will be negative views also. I'm not much of a drinker, but, I don't mind dating a woman who likes to have a few drinks. Now, the people who like to get stumbling down drunk all the time are not for me. Can a man or a woman overlook the smoking and consider the person within and not the person on the outside? I know this works for both sexes. Your comments will be appreciated. I can take it or leave it. I quit smoking for a long time, now do it only rarely in certain social situations, if I am outside. I would never smoke in someone's house, even if I wanted a cigarette, and never smoked in restaurants or bars, even when it was permitted. It doesn't bother me, it's not an issue on if someone smokes or not, unless it's chain smoking, it leaves very little time for anything else, and you wind up smelling like a smoke stack.

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 135 (view)

Are women scared off by harleys Posted: 1/14/2007 2:58:48 PM
I love Harleys........well dressed Road Kings make me swoon.

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Trolling or looking??????????? Posted: 1/14/2007 2:50:38 PM
I am looking for someone. I would respond to anyone who actually had something to say, even if it was just a nice hello. I am not above responding to kindness or social grace. I probably wouldn't respond to anything hurtful, unless I was provoked into anger, but I'm a pretty laid back individual and understand that the world can be a hard, cold place sometimes, particularly when hiding behind the anonymity of this contraption. I don't seek attention, and am used to being ignored; however, I continue to be Holly Golightly, an eternal optimist.

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks Posted: 1/14/2007 7:03:42 AM
put some stinkin clothes on, you ain't all that and a bag o' chips Wow....is it lonely up there in your ivory tower? Or is the air just a little too thin? Your statement to Witty is exactly the reason why men and women are alone, it's a mine field out there. Social grace goes by the wayside behind this veil of anonymity. Would you combust if you were forced to say something nice?

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks Posted: 1/14/2007 6:50:58 AM
[/Holy cow! I look like an albino manatee in my posted pic! Why is it so distorted?? lol!] LMAO... albino manatee! too funny Blank Page Thank you! My job is done!

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks Posted: 1/13/2007 3:55:47 PM
Try to have fun, and just ignore those who are offensive. It's their loss. Holy cow! I look like an albino manatee in my posted pic! Why is it so distorted?? lol!

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 143 (view)

Why are you on POF? Posted: 1/13/2007 3:52:02 PM
Cause it's free !! Good answer!

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 142 (view)

Why are you on POF? Posted: 1/13/2007 3:50:55 PM
8. Bored....and want to be entertained.

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 134 (view)

Have you ever had a passionate kiss that rendered you unable to walk? Posted: 1/13/2007 3:45:58 PM
yes...I was 12. :) I hope to experience that again before I die!

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks Posted: 1/13/2007 2:55:14 PM
Marry me. lol!!!

Joined: 1/8/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks Posted: 1/13/2007 2:52:27 PM
So being a nice person and honest on here seems to be just a joke to these guys Here is something I found on internet dating and I was surprised, but after being on here it doesn't surprise me. I think the owner did a wonderful job on this site I have met some nice people, but I have met some very rude people. It's a shame people cannot treat people the way they would like to be treated. You can write anything on your profile, but the question is can you stand behind it???? I just don't know why people cannot be nice god for once in awhile, does it hurt that much to be nice! Just keep being nice, it's who you are. Being thoughtful and kind takes work, it's easy to be unkind and rude and hide behind a monitor. It's cowardly and immature. And it's a way for people to make themselves feel superior when they really have no substance. I have been on and off dating sites occasionally for the last 5 years, but I won't join a site where you have to pay a fee anymore because it's just not worth any price. I liked the premise of this site, too, but, like you, have found it to be much the same as far as the human species goes. I continue to be nice, and ultimately ignored, but it's still a silly, fun escape from the real world. Try to have fun, and just ignore those who are offensive. It's their loss.

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