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Thread: How Do You Know that When is Now?

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

How Do You Know that When is Now? Posted: 1/23/2007 9:57:56 AM
Well first of all, you got married way too soon, no man should marry before he is 28 or 30 yrs old. Then you compounded the problem by getting a woman pregnant not once but twice? I hope anyone else reading this (younger males) learns from your mistake. There is no answer to your question. You took wedding vows when you got married, at the time I'm assuming you meant them. You now have a wife and 2 young children who are counting on you to be a "man" and live up to your obligations. Simply being selfish is not a good enough reason to leave someone. The answer is you need to grow up, and appreciate what you do have - instead of what you don't. But having said that - if you have to go, you should give everything you have to your wife - EVERYTHING, tell her how you messed up and that she will be taken care of until the kids are 18 yrs old. The grass isn't greener over here, (dating sucks) but heh I'll let you learn the hard way, and with an ex and two kids your going to be a real prize for some woman. And since you do such a good job lying to yourself, I can see it now. You're going to end up lying to every single woman you date.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Guys...help me please understand. Posted: 1/22/2007 11:15:26 PM
To OP - the painful truth is you are not long term relationship marrying material to him. Move on.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Why would a man say maybe if you ask him out? Posted: 1/22/2007 11:12:50 PM
He's not playing a game, he just doesn't know how to say no without hurting your feelings.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Is he using me? Posted: 1/22/2007 11:05:45 PM
Sweety (and I honestly think you are a sweetheart) you are MUCH to young to be getting so seriously wrapped up about a guy. You should be dating!!!! Having FUN!!!! You are soooo young, learn to love yourself - do things that make you happy that don't include men! Take dance lessons, join an aerobics class, live your life! Get laid - when you feel like it - but not to get love! DON'T GET PREGNANT, insist on condoms 100% of the time. You should not be thinking about having a serious relationship until you are 24-26, and the man should be a minimum of age 28-30.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

The Game...how do I get rid of it? Posted: 1/22/2007 10:52:15 PM
I'm surprized he put up with "your" game for so long. Lots of good advise on this thread, you were the one guilty of playing games. If you could only see it. - ie: you shouldn't be on a dating site if you are not interested in meeting men for dating.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do guys do this? Posted: 1/22/2007 10:43:09 PM
Usually I'm all sweaty and hot - because I'm like a wild animal and very passionate. I don't feel comfortable being sweaty and hot. So I need air and space. It's got nothing to do with the woman I'm with.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

don't say that to me. Posted: 1/22/2007 10:36:35 PM
Every person on pof has had that heart broken by the opposite sex. Including me.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

I am about ready to give up on love... Posted: 1/22/2007 10:32:26 PM
dude you need a serious slap in the head. You do not get married or into a serious relatiosnhip with a woman until you are 28-30 yrs old. You should be focused on getting laid and having fun.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

What do you think?? Lost and confused Posted: 1/21/2007 4:47:52 PM
Has he introduced you to his friends and family? If the answer is no, he's not into you. (after 4-6 months you should have met his friends by now). Does he take you out for dinner/dancing/movies? Or does he just come over and have sex with you? Is he nice to you, or does he speak down to you and make you feel small? Lastly, You have to make yourself more desireable, start getting out and have a life of your own and do things that will make you feel better about you. That way you wont worry so much about him or whether he needs or wants you or not. He just simply will - cause you will be sooooooo irresistable. I can tell from reading your post you don't feel lovable, and that is your main problem.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Intentions:FIB or relationship, how can you tell? Posted: 1/21/2007 4:40:18 PM
There's a few different things to understand to fully answer this question for you. 1) Women generally like to be "swept off their feet." Now stay with me and think about this for a minute. Just who do you think is capable of "sweeping you off you feet?" A "nice" guy with little or no dating experience? Or a guy with game and a lot of experience? In a way women through their romantic expectations set themselves up for the player to come in and give them thier "fantasy". Fantasy men: Rockstars, Moviestars and Sportstars have women throwing themselves at them everyday - they can get away with being "casual" about sex, people and relationships, and then their women cry when they turn out to be "jerks" or "users". 2) Asking how do you tell if a guy is just interested in sex or a relationship, is a bad question. You are in effect asking the wrong question. More to the point: All guys love sex, (the good ones looking for long term and the bad ones looking for FWB). Men think about sex every single day, it's genetic. Either you understand it and accept it or you will always struggle against it. The better question to ask is "How do I know I am with a good man worth having sex with?" A good man has a life and has goals, will call you once a week (more when things get more serious) has good relationships with his ex g/f's, and his family, treats you with respect and is nice to others, a good man is confident but not full of himself and arrogant, a good man does not live at home with mommy, and most importantly a good man is comfortable with himself and shares himself with you. Just look for red flags, look for lies. Be up front about what you want - long term. Don't give it up too soon, but don't end up being one of these bitter jaded women who thinks that all men want is sex, and making your guy wait 3 or 4 months. It's not all that we want, it's just a big part of it for us. btw women with sexual/men issues - are a huge red flag for me, it means you have a very poor history of picking good men. Maybe it's more about you than you care to admit. Go back to my first point and really think about that.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

female players Posted: 1/20/2007 12:15:05 AM
"my question is how do i cross over from being a player to being "date-able"?" You have to grow up.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

How should you say no thanks? Posted: 1/20/2007 12:09:56 AM
Why do women always say they want to be "friends" first, yet can't handle just being friendly to a guy? The fact is it's not about him, it's about you. You need to build up your self esteem for one, do something with your life and start to appreciate people for more than just their looks. It doens't hurt you to be nice to people, and you know what - that hot guy who is really into you - is going to see you being nice to "average" guys and think - wow that girl is totally hot. Being nice to people just makes you look better. But heh you'll never see that because you are too worried about what other people think.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 492 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 1/20/2007 12:04:07 AM
When you become a "hot" guy you will get "hot" girls. The criteria for a hot guy is not the same as a hot girl.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Girls, is it just me? Posted: 1/19/2007 11:56:05 PM
No, it's not just you. Come-here-go-away boys like that drive me UP A WALL! Quite honestly a lot of women do this as well. Regardless its a huge red flag and what it means is the person is screwed up, run far away!

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Gift giving in the early stage of a relationship Posted: 1/19/2007 11:52:44 PM
Just take her out for dinner/dancing and stop agonizing over it.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

My suitation (looking for insight) Posted: 1/19/2007 11:48:55 PM
Also one last thing I can't help but try and help you out bro, you have to learn how to attract a woman. Women are romantic creatures, romantic in that they need to feel challenged in order to get you. Don't make yourself so available. Hold back until you think you can't stand it anymore, and then hold back a little bit more. One life lesson I can pass a long to you about women is that you can never go to slow, but you can go to fast and appear too eager - and then lose her. Once you've given her a taste of how much fun you are - Don't call too soon. Give her the chance to miss you and to wonder. Now for your present circumstances... If it was meant to be she will call you, probably not for a while, but thats ok, because she will always be wondering, what if???? and by then you will have found someone better - trust me - there's always better. Never forget that a man with money, power and status is the "prize", that's why so many women complain about not being able to find a good man, because most men don't understand how to empower themselves.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

My suitation (looking for insight) Posted: 1/19/2007 11:37:06 PM
You are not half the man you will be at 30 yrs old. You just can't see it, you suffer what most males suffer from at your age, you think you are at your peak. Well you are not, you are no where near the man you will become. A man should never think about marriage or finding a significant other until he is about 30 yrs old. The women you will get at 21 is nothing in comparison to the women you will attract and keep at age 30. Imagine your g/f now, only imagine her more sexually experienced, better looking and sexier. The quality of people you attract in your life is DIRECTLY attributed to the person you are and who you become. Right now you should be focused on having fun, getting laid, experiencing life, getting a good career and building income. Did you know if you save $100 per month at your age you can retire a millionaire? You have a lot to learn about life bro, don't blow it. No serious relationships until 28-30 dude - don't make that mistake it will ruin your life. How to deal with it? Fill your life up with doing stuff. Go out with the guys and play hockey or volleyball, take karate lessons, work out and get buff, take dance lessons, make yourself a better man and fill up your time with things you enjoy doing. Love yourself first and you won't worry about being alone - because you will be having too much fun!

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Why do professional athletes always have hot wifes. Posted: 1/19/2007 11:25:21 PM
okcupid nailed it. Men all know it, yet most women are in constant deniel about it. Rockstars, Moviestars and Sportstars. Mick Jagger is a very ugly man, if he was not a rock star, if he was flipping burgers at Wendy's you think he would ever get laid? Yah right. Mick Jagger has had more sex than pratically any man alive. Women give it up for money, status, power, always have always will.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

why do guys tell women they are attractive but the woman is still single? Posted: 1/19/2007 11:13:59 PM
When a man says he only wants to have sex with you, it means that he's not into who you are as a person. Usually it's because you're just not that fun to be with or maybe your a drama queen, or maybe your a nag, or maybe your a witch - or just plain old boring. So no one here can answer the question for you, maybe a male friend could be straight with you, because most of your female friends are just going to BS you and tell you all men are pigs etc...

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

should i let it go? Posted: 1/19/2007 12:27:38 AM
Move on with your life, this is not healthy for him or you. Honestly you are still very young, you will go through massive personality changes from here to about 30 yrs old. Do you still listen to the same music you did at 15? Well thats only a 4 yr difference. This is the time in your life to explore and have FUN. Date, travel, have wild sex, and a lot of it! So when you do settle down you will be a woman of the world with experience. A woman should never settle down until she's about 25. A man should never settle down until he's about 30. And those ages are a minimum.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 87 (view)

Birthday Sex = is it wrong? Posted: 1/19/2007 12:17:51 AM
You should have got her drunk first, and don't ask, just do.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Has money, but you wouldn't know it. Posted: 1/19/2007 12:13:11 AM
The next time you see him - give him the best sex of his life ever. You have an amazing man there, don't lose him.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

would you marry this man Posted: 1/18/2007 11:55:04 PM
omg my head hurts!

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

What can I get him for Valentine's Day? Posted: 1/18/2007 4:41:13 PM
"I dated this girl once? And she turned out to be a prude... we stopped dating..." hahahahahahaha thks for the good laugh.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Why do married men stare at you when they are with their wives? Posted: 1/18/2007 4:29:51 PM
I've had married women flirt with me at work - what's the difference? You should count your blessings, there will come a time when no man will look at you. Short men and fat / ugly / old girls - try walking a mile in their shoes.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

What do guys really think? Posted: 1/18/2007 4:25:21 PM
The same reason why most women like a man who is taller than them when they wear high heels - preference. At least you could lose a little weight, men can't do anything about how tall they are.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Talked about himself the entire time... Posted: 1/18/2007 4:23:58 PM
Tell him to relax, tell him that you wouldnt be talking to him if your weren't interested.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

guys, how soon can you tell if it will be worthwhile? Posted: 1/18/2007 4:21:05 PM
If there is chemistry on the first date there will be a 2nd. Do you smile, do you laugh at my jokes, are you having fun, do you look into my eyes and flirt a little? All things that lead to a second and third date.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

how to tell your guy about a past abortion Posted: 1/17/2007 10:19:25 PM
Don't tell him, he doesn't have to know every little sordid detail about you. Leave it in the past where it belongs and move on with your life. Good luck sweety!

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

It says Friends...what do you see Posted: 1/17/2007 10:18:20 PM
Why are you on a dating site looking for friends??????????? Seems kind of creepy to me to be looking for friends online.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Is he lying? Posted: 1/17/2007 10:11:43 PM
Yup he's fooling around. Ok my best advise: 1) Stop asking yourself why??? You will just make yourself crazy. There is no answer. 2) Get the hell out of dodge and don't look back. Liers lie, it's what they do. Sorry sweety, it sucks!

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

why do men go for the ditsy thin girls? Posted: 1/17/2007 10:09:12 PM
Actually at your age men go for anything that breathes. Me Personally? I can't stand ditzy... annoying as hell.

Adventurousman007

Joined: 1/13/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

controlling men!!! Posted: 1/17/2007 9:54:52 PM
Actually women are far more controlling than men. I have a lot of male friends in relationships and the wives decide everything. Where their going to live, what color the carpet is going to be, when they have sex and when they don't. They even tell you what shirt to wear. Give your head a shake girl.

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