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nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

advice to help a friend Posted: 11/21/2009 4:33:23 PM
Tell him how you feel about the situation and let him take it from there. Of course, if they are both on the rebound, at least they aren't hurting anyone except themselves. Edit : Oh yea, sharing a car. That sounds like buddy at work who's ex drives him to and from work on a regular basis, and gives him a 'ride' every now and again too. Did I mention, she has a boyfriend she lives with, oh yea and that other guy she's been spotted with? :laugh:

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Signs of Testing Posted: 11/21/2009 4:22:33 PM
Who cares whether she's testing you or not. You're testing her, so where's the problem even if she is? Is this highschool still where testing is needed?

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

If 2 people have difficult schedules, how to ask for date in different ways? Posted: 11/21/2009 4:00:37 PM
How about just ask them what is a good time for them to go out, THEN figure out what to do? I agree. If scheduling is becoming an issue, plan a week ahead, ask them when would be good for them, and try to work your schedule around it. If it's that hard to get together for a first meet, imagine the agony of trying to go on an actual date. As for the original question, change up your wording so it doesn't sound as repetitive. Other than that, I see no issue with asking for a mutually agreeable date more than once.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

How quick should I move on here? Posted: 11/3/2009 5:37:49 PM
Yes, do what you are doing. Don't ask to meet in your first message to them. If you do get talking to someone, some will want to exchange numbers before meeting, others will be more willing to meet sooner, and some never want to meet and spoil their fantasies. How soon is dependant on when you feel like doing it. When I was single, I've met within a couple days to never (usually a distance or incompatibility or both problem). There really are no rules or etiquette, just common sense and whatever you can make work for you.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Making an Excuse to Party on Halloween - Roadblocks if any? Posted: 10/30/2009 3:07:05 PM
Happyrebel - Costumes, karaoke, huge block type party and a free ride home , wish I could go, sing a song for me will ya! Trick or treating with the kids and then a relaxing night in watching horror movies with the g/f for me. No partying this year even if I was single, I'm broke. Too bad too, I've been growing my hair since April so I could've even pulled off the mad scientist this year.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Unapproachable...? Posted: 10/29/2009 9:09:18 PM
The possibilities are endless. Although that is partly a play on what you write in your profile, it's also true. It could mean extremely extroverted or extremely introverted. Either you are putting off that you're too good that they would never have a chance or you keep to yourself and look like you want to be left alone. Or it could be something else altogether. Do you normally go out alone, or are you often with a large group? Do you keep to yourself, or are you chatting it up with everyone because you know a lot of people? It could also have something to do with how you carry yourself. Your profile says athletic and roughly average height. I'm not athletic, but I am slightly taller, I can either make myself look bigger or smaller depending on how I present myself. It can be intimidating or unapproachable depending on how I wish to present myself. It's really hard to even guess without knowing who you are, or seeing you out and about.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

75 Mile Message Limitations Posted: 10/29/2009 8:57:12 PM
Too many complications to set yourself up for a long distance relationship. I mean if it happens by 'accident' that's completely different, but to go out of your way to look for a ldr on the internet is ridiculous unless you are looking to relocate anyway. Note : By 'accident' I mean you happen to meet while she is visiting your area or vice versa, and there is no denying the connection and giving it a shot. Also ldrs suck for all the reasons pointed out above, and only few are actually worth it.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Friendship into relationship. Posted: 10/29/2009 6:52:13 PM
Never worked for me (and all for the better, my female friends knew better than I in those cases). I've had it work the other way, relationship to friendship, but never friendship to relationship. This is really the point of dating though. When dating, while getting to know each other in a friendship sort of way, there is a common goal of finding a relationship.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Haunted Houses Posted: 10/29/2009 6:43:16 PM
I know a lot of females who are into stuff like that, I also know a lot who don't. Sort of a coin toss the way I see it. Personally, not a huge fan of the whole 'shock' scare tactic, I prefer the fear of the unknown. When I know there is something there set to scare me, it's just an embarrassment when it makes me jump because I was caught off gaurd for something I was ongaurd for. (edit excuse the tangent :) As a kid, I hated scary movies. I couldn't even watch Ernest Scared Stupid, until I watched it to the end and found out what the stupid troll looked like, but it didn't give me nightmares or anything. Jeepers Creepers was another movie that freaked me out until the end when they spoiled it by showing the creature. I was laying in bed and I could here someone watching Bram Stoker's Dracula, the music and thought of what the movie was about gave me nightmares for a week. Of course, after actually watching the movie, I realized it wasn't actually a horror movie, but a love story. As I grew older, I grew braver, but I can admit there is one great movie I can never watch again. Even as an adult, I had nightmares for 3 nights in a row after watching The Omen. It's a love/hate relationship, but that's the kind of scared I like!

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

First date flake. Posted: 10/28/2009 3:28:16 PM
Way to not put out on the first date. FAIL!

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Getting my friend out of an abusive relationship Posted: 10/28/2009 3:24:12 PM
D'oh! If you've told her your feelings on the subject that is all you can do. You can't make anyone change their mind. The majority of people have to find out the hard way, and won't learn until they do.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

how old is to old ? Posted: 10/28/2009 3:22:15 PM
Depends on your standards. Some will say 18-80, in which case 81 is just too old

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Youre what every girl wants... youre such a good man. Posted: 10/28/2009 3:18:55 PM
It's because deep down they know they aren't worthy of your love. At least that's what I've always convinced myself of anytime that happened to me in the past. It's a great ego boost if you can convince yourself it's the truth.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

May be dumb question.... but need a girls view! Posted: 10/23/2009 3:43:49 PM
May be dumb question But I don't see any question marks. How can there be a dumb question if there are no question marks? No one can tell you what was going on in her mind. If you feel you missed an opportunity than all you can do is prepare yourself to better handle it the next time an opportunity arises. Worst case scenario, you get rejected and have to live another day.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Im depressed and I dont know why before meeting a girl Posted: 10/21/2009 2:45:50 PM
OP, the problem is in your head, I didn't even bother reading the whole thread just because it's so obvious that you lack any sort of self esteem. If things like this cause you to become depressed, seek therapy. I agree with nexthyme and everything she says in her post.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Ex girlfriend Posted: 10/19/2009 1:55:21 PM
Give yourself time, get over her, and move on with your life. Don't play games to try and get her back, because it will just drag out the inevitable, her getting a new b/f and you being hurt. Get out, enjoy life, and move forward.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

is it wrong to have a profile on here after you meet someone? Posted: 10/18/2009 1:19:09 PM
My profile is hidden, status is changed, and if you click it, you will see that I clearly state I'm in a relationship. I kept the body of my profile up because I put a lot of time and thought into it, plus for those who do happen to click on it from the forums. I highly doubt (hopefully never) I will need to use this site for dating before I would definitely have to go back and re-write it, but until my profile no longer suits me, it won't be changed. I don't think it'd be right to keep an open and looking profile, no matter how good it was for my ego. Of course, personally, I don't need that kind of boost, I'm too full of myself as it is, but even if I wasn't, it'd just look weird.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Can I get a reality check? Posted: 10/14/2009 5:49:46 PM
Although I usually like to go against the grain, and against the flow. I'm going to have to go with the grainy flow and agree that you should be able to date your age or younger without any difficulties. That being said, age is just a number, I've met some people who are <50 and look and act 70+, and I've seen people 70+ who look and act <50.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

how long should i wait to start dating? Posted: 10/14/2009 5:39:16 PM
Depends on how long 'fairly long' is. Given you are 19, 1 year could be fairly long relationships. Hell, 6 months could be. Depends on how the break up went. You were sick of her, she was sick of, it was truely mutual and no hurt feelings, etc, etc. Which leads to the next point, depends on how hurt you are. A lot, a little, none. The point is, there is no set time, and depending on various factors, beginning to date again could be tomorrow, or it could be 5 years from now. But really, you are 19, don't worry about dating so much, go out and have fun. If you meet someone along the way, just take it as an added bonus.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Really interested second try? Posted: 10/14/2009 5:23:01 PM
I have to admit, I have taken an hour to write a message before. My average time was probably around 30 minutes for an initial email. But more often than not, most of that time was either spent carefully wording things to say what I actually meant without completely rambling, or just complete rambling. Of course, I didn't send out many messages, was more here for the forums, but it was fun when I did and I still ended up with a ~90% reply rate. Not profile review forum, but your profile sucks, your 1st date idea is creepy, and your pictures aren't that great. It doesn't matter how much sense your 1st date idea makes to you, if you don't get any replies because of it, you will never have a chance to explain why it would sound reasonable and not scary as all hell. On Topic : I wouldn't bother sending a second email until you can figure out how you want to write a decent profile and decide whether you can change up your 1st date idea or not. Profiles are hard to write. Take some time to find yourself and writing your profile is so much easier. Took me roughly a year (or maybe longer, I don't remember) before I figured out how to get this whole system to work for me. It's not for the weak at heart...or stomach.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

how do i go about getting a nice girl ??? Posted: 10/14/2009 4:51:50 PM
please dont worry about what you say i can take it and will be thankfull of your remarks Ok then. A fairly straight forward 5 step program. You may notice that Steps 1-3 pretty much co-exist. Step 1. Quit being a whiney douche. Step 2. Grow some balls. Step 3. Get over yourself, you're not as special as you think no matter what your mother tells you. (Don't take that as literal as it sounds, because I can hear the retort coming that you don't think you are special. Well you shouldn't think, you should know and be able to proclaim it to the world - more acceptably done in a joking manner! It, moreso, is something I just like to say that can have many different meanings. In this case, grow up, quit sucking on your momma's titty, and trying to seek attention and pity.) By doing these you will find that you have more confidence. Step 4. Quit lying. As it has been said before, I will reitterate, you aren't just looking for a 'nice' girl. There is more to it than that. You are lying to us, and possibly to yourself. Step 5. Probably the most important step, however nearly impossible is Steps 1-4 are not completed. It doesn't matter how often you go out, you have to actually go out of your comfort zone (since currently you seem very insecure) and talk to people. P.S. The sideways picture makes you look lazy. Too lazy to edit and flip the picture the right way before uploading it. Getting some better pictures in general wouldn't hurt.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

How do you approach a group of girls dancing? Posted: 10/12/2009 10:07:46 PM
You make yourself noticeable -in a good way - and let them approach you. The less effort you put into actually attempting to break up a group the better it is. This is why it is never a good idea to go to the bar/club in hopes to pick up by yourself. It's hard to look like you are having fun all by yourself, also hard to approach a group of people unless you have a certain way about yourself. I've only ever met a few guys who could do this and not get snubbed. It's possible, but you have to have a certain way about you, which you don't have obviously. Hell, I know one guy who could walk into a bar across the country from where he lives, by himself, and be friends with half the bar by the time he walked out. Anyway, back on topic, anyway you look at it, a solo guy looks creepy. Be with your friends, but be social. Make your presense known, those who may be interested will notice, but don't chase it too much. There is a fine line there but if you enjoy your time out with your friends, it won't matter so much if you pickup or not.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Female friend said that she couldn't do it Posted: 10/12/2009 9:15:18 PM
I had one of my best friends ask me to set her up with one of my friends, and I just couldn't do it. It wasn't anything against her, just none of my single friends would be a good fit for her. Nothing against her or them, just I wasn't going to set her or them up for failure. I've also had guy friends ask me to set them up with one of my female friends, and I couldn't do that either, for reasons that I couldn't really tell them. It's not that there was anything particularily 'wrong' with them, but it takes a special person for some people to find a match and I knew I just didn't have any friends that would meet the particular requirements, and it was these types of guys that always ask me for help. So, it could be you, it could be them, it could be any number of reasons. I wouldn't really read into it too much though. On a sidenote, I am dating one of my friend's friends, and my friend never thought that we would be a good match at all and would have never thought of hooking us up. Proof positive that finding your own special someone by making your own moves and advances usually works out much better anyway.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Why does Hey, Gimme' Your Number work and respect doesn't? Posted: 10/12/2009 9:01:08 PM
You are trying too hard and not being yourself when you pretend to be polite. You put on a facade for women you are really interested in. It should cause problems. Be yourself all the time, and don't treat those you are really interested in any different than you would anybody else. You may hook a person who prefers the fake you over the real you and only cause hurt in the end.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Probability Vs. Reality Posted: 10/10/2009 6:45:20 PM
A boy goes to his father and asks him, "Dad, what is the difference between probability and reality?" His father replies, "Go ask your mother, sister and brother if they would screw Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and see if you can figure it out." The boy finds this odd, but goes on anyway "Mom, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replies, "You bet I would. We could pay off the mortgage, put on an addition, send you kids to college and university! Imagine what we could do with a million dollars!!" Then the boy goes to his sister, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The sister replies, "You have to ask? Of course I would, he's so hot!" Finally the boy asks his brother, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The brother replies, "Hell yeah! Get a sweet a$s car, with a kickin' stereo. Fvcking right I do it for a milli!" A couple days later, the father asks the boy, "So what'd you figure out?" The boy replies, "Well there is a probability that we could have three million dollars, but the reality is we're living with two whores and a queer!" ------------------------------------------------------------- I laughed

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

First Contact Posted: 10/10/2009 6:34:46 PM
Ahhhhh... no cupcake, it's not us, it's you... We do message the men we want... I was going to say, it was quite the opposite for me compared to the OP, 90% of the people I had conversations with contacted me first. I mean I sent out my fair share of initial contacts, and received replies to most of them, but the majority of them never went beyond that first email and reply (nor were they meant to). You just have to figure out how to make the site work for you so you are more appealing.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Flirting, or just being her usual sweet self? Posted: 10/10/2009 6:22:40 PM
It's her personality (especially considering the first meet hug), but ask her out anyway.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

How to rekindle an old flame Posted: 10/10/2009 6:11:51 PM
Been there, done that. An ex is an ex for a reason. You will always have your past and it will always have some sort of effect on the future. You are not the same person inside as you were three years ago, and neither is she, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself. Get over it, quit living in fantasy land and move on. Until you do so, you will be stuck and will possibly miss someone great.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

When to ask a girl out? Posted: 10/9/2009 10:07:56 PM
Never! Don't do it man! Getting involved with some you have a lot in common and a definite connection with is just bad news. I say you break it off before you even get started!!!! Run, man, RUN! Ok, but seriously, what is holding you back? Why have you waited this long? Where is the hurt in going for a coffee or at least asking? So when? Whenever you feel is right. If you feel you have a lot in common and a definite connection you shouldn't be asking us when, you should be asking yourself why you haven't done it already.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

I think my friend wants me Posted: 10/9/2009 7:46:35 PM
Why in the world are you waiting for "eventually". When she said, "What if the person we are supposed to start dating is each other?", if you were really interested you should've said, "Well, let's go on a date then." Quit playing these childish guessing games with each other. Edit: VV she wakes up and finds your penis inside her. BWAH HAHAHAHA...of course that could also end you up in jail, so I'd be careful with that one, but f'ing hilarious none the less!

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

26.m attracted to older women...should i act on this, or ignore? Posted: 10/9/2009 7:42:42 PM
He'd never heard of the Smiths, the Cure, or the Sex Pistols. Holy sh!t! That's sad that he had never heard of any of those, he should've got at least one, even if it was just the name. On topic : Age is only a number. That is all.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

how long to date someone new? Posted: 10/8/2009 7:12:45 PM
A serial dater as defined in the urban dictionary : One who engages in the process of systematically dating an obscene amount people in short span of time. This definition encompasses but is not limited to internet dating, bar dating, long distance flirtations, phone service dating, blind dating, expiration dating, match making, one night stands, friends with benefits, and personal ad surfing. Can be considered a politically correct alternative to word "player" both with and without a negative connotation. No, you are not being a serial dater, just someone who hasn't found what they are looking for, and have noticed before investing any serious time with any one particular person.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

What to do if she just had bad relationship? Posted: 10/8/2009 4:30:40 PM
When a man leaves a woman, she is left to deal with a "him-shaped void" (I didn't make that one up, it's David Deida). She can heal on her own, or she can meet a greater man. So it really does all come down to penis size after all. Well, I'll be.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

women at the grocery store Posted: 10/7/2009 8:11:18 PM
Don't do it. That doesn't mean you can't say a friendly hello, perhaps try to strike up a friendly conversation. But asking them out while your on the clock, not a good idea, unless like previously suggested, they are repeat customers and you talk with them regularily.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

wondering what girls really see Posted: 10/7/2009 8:01:48 PM
Say you're a nice guy with lots of cash and watch the emails come pouring in. Don't forget to mention you have a big penis too! That always helps! Edit : VV Oh, speaking of which, I had to take down those pics and no more updating, the g/f didn't want me to spread them all over the internet anymore. Sorry.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

What's my next step? Posted: 10/7/2009 7:57:22 PM
I'm going to go against the grain and advise you not to call her. In fact, lose her number completely, go find an underground bunker and live in solitude the rest of your life. In all seriousness, I'd suggest evaluating what kind of friends you have that you have to ask a bunch of strangers to verify their advice on such a simple (almost - I say 'almost' to give the benefit of the doubt - ridiculous) question.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

a coward living a lie Posted: 10/7/2009 7:50:44 PM
If you can't be her friend, then don't. Cut it out! You will be the only one hurt in the end. Plus you'll look like a jacka$s for trying to get furthur by being her "friend". The sooner you break it off, the better. Either that, or get over yourself and genuinely be her friend. Of course, to do that you would have to let go of you two ever being together romantically.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

why do they call it going commando? Posted: 10/7/2009 7:44:01 PM
Well since it's already been answered, I'd have to say, because it makes you feel like you're living dangerously and on the edge, like a commando...especially if wearing pants with a zipper!

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

What should I do with this woman? Posted: 10/4/2009 6:41:23 PM
You're 18, which means you started dating when you were 15 or 16 (depending on when your birthday is). Either way you look at it, a majority of highschool relationships don't work out. The majority of people don't find 'the one' in their first long term relationship. A large number of people have extreme difficulty moving on from their first real relationship, so if you are trying with some success, you are doing well. Keep trying.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Do you like me? Posted: 10/2/2009 4:41:00 PM
It sounds too much like highschool (hell not even highschool, this one dates back to middle school) to me. Personally, I'd slap a buddy (possibly even b!tch slap him) if he asked me to deliver it for him. But hey, I'm just a guy who finds that approach completely ridiculous for an adult. Give 'er a shot and see how it works

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Do you really mean it? Posted: 10/2/2009 4:29:26 PM
It's basically a money grab line. It should really read "If you want to say 'Hi', feel free to drop me a line! If I'm interested, I'll respond but otherwise it's a good ego boost knowing someone is interested in me." For me these lines at the end of the profiles are just blank filler words. They might as well say 'blah blah blah' because it has about the same meaning. It's a line that states the obvious. It doesn't matter who's profile you come across, unless they have a set restriction that you would be unable to send a message to them, you are welcome to send them a message. My advice for you is not to put any value on lines like that. If you are interested in someone, message them, whether they have that line or not. Oh, and P.S. drop the self pitying and whining, be confident in who you are, it'll help a lot.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Starting the conversation Posted: 10/2/2009 4:11:58 PM
No because ...I'm a pansy Drusurfer06, way to totally try to rape this guy's thread. Ever think that maybe she was replying to the original poster, and not your whiney a$s? It's no wonder women don't respond. Anywho, back on topic. This thread has been beat to death, but since I don't get on here much anymore, I will reply anyway. But since I'm lazy, I'm not going to put too much effort into it, because I just did a similar response on another thread. Write for the sake of writing, read their profile and refer to something in it. It doesn't have to be long (the longer it gets the more entertaining you have to be, which takes practise), but make it something actually worth responding to. Keep it light and have fun!

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

I really dont understand... Posted: 10/2/2009 4:04:44 PM
Dam, I missed this place. Some guys asking why no one responds, the others asking why they only get short responses. I do really miss the nice guy vs bad boy threads we used to have before the responses were limited. Man, she responded, don't complain. If your only sending simple messages, you get simple responses. Hell, she might only be responding because your questions are easy but really isn't overly interested if at all. But you are actually getting responses, which is really surprising for a 19 year old. Internet dating is like my grade 12 English class. At the beginning of class we had to write a 1 page essay on some topic in like 15 mins or something. It was to help us learn how to write proper essays better, practising. Basically what we learned to do was write a page long essay in a short period of time, writing for the sake of writing. It helped us learn how to bullsh!t basically because there was very little thought put into them. (Sidenote, it sucked for me because I wrote really small). Anyway, it's like internet dating because you don't have to really spill your guts (like putting thought into an essay) to make it a lengthier and possibly more entertaining message. Also, the more you practice the better you get at it. Finally, if you are writing for the sake of writing, it's more fun, and then you care less about what kind of response you get. Dating is not a serious business at the worst of times, and it definitely shouldn't be at 19. Have fun with it, who knows you may even make someone laugh (which, by the way, is a good thing from my experience)

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Will Love Find Me Posted: 9/22/2009 9:39:38 PM
Stop looking for it. It's even clear for your Hollywood fantasy. Look at almost all romantic movies like the one you mentioned. Neither of the two main characters are really looking for love in the person they find, when they 'magically' find it. When they did find it, they went after it. That's how I met my g/f. Wasn't really looking, just enjoying life as I knew it, but then I saw it, and I went for it. Remember, even your favorite Hollywood stars in the movies were dating around.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Age differences Posted: 9/22/2009 9:32:20 PM
My g/f is 5 yrs older than me and it seems to be working out just fine. But like it's been stated, use the thread search function next time.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

question about dating in your early twenties Posted: 9/22/2009 9:29:52 PM
Double Cabin, making me laugh, just like old times in AAGirl. Back on topic. You're in your early 20's, it's party time and you want to have philosophical discussions on the 2nd or 3rd date? You are worse off than a single parent. It takes a special kind of woman to appreciate and enjoy that, and from what I've seen, they are few and far inbetween. Not saying you should dumb it down for them, because you'll get annoyed with that quickly. Be yourself, but maybe save the 'heavy' talk for a little while later. Although it does seem to be a quick way to weed through them, it could also be a little early breaking into it, could be seen as getting too personal too quickly (depending on what you are discussing), even for those who would normally enjoy it. I like this thought : Remember you are on a date and not study time for Philosophy 101!!

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

flirting/chatting a girl up for a shy guy Posted: 9/22/2009 9:10:50 PM
Just quit your job and ask her out. If she says no, you'll be too embarrassed to go to work there anymore anyways. If she says yes, you won't have to worry about dipping your pen in company ink since you no longer work there.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

when you are in a bar or club.....? Posted: 8/14/2009 6:11:54 AM
First of all, congratulations! Unlike a lot of shy, low self esteem guys you are still trying to approach girls. That is the first step to recovery and building self confidence. Secondly, head over to profile reviews, just for the sake of internet dating. Your profile seems quite desperate, especially the last line. Back on topic. When getting shot down, instead of taking it as an ego hit, laugh it off. Dating/trying to get dates shouldn't be discouraging, rather it should be fun. Keep approaching. Talk to them like they are your friends. Don't treat them any different than anyone else you might meet. Smile, laugh, at least act like you are enjoying yourself, even if your insides are wrenching from fear or nervousness. You'll still probably come off as nervous (seems most women have a keen sense to detect that ), but that's ok, because you are putting forth an effort. The guy you go out with is shyer than you, that's excellent. That's one way I worked to build my confidence. A shy guy can be a great wingman, because he makes you look less shy. Approaching a group can be tough, because of pack mentality. Unfortunately, to talk to one girl in a group is not only near impossible, it's downright rude. So you either have to catch her while she's alone, or approach the whole group and while making sure you focus on who you are interested, make sure you involve the whole group. It sounds tricky because it is. It is also not highly recommended for shy guys. Really it boils down to practice. Practice talking to strangers everywhere you go. Striking up a conversation in the checkout line at the grocery store. Smile and say hello to strangers walking down the street. The more you practice talking to strangers, the easier it will be to approach women in the club. So, now you've got a number. Instead of asking is she's still interested, have a plan. Invite her for a coffee sometime (suggest a day and time, preferably as soon as possible). Hell, instead of texting, actually call. If you get a voicemail, leave a message. Be assertive. It does take a while to build confidence, but you have to put in the effort. Just keep practicing. Good luck!

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

If He haven't asked you to arry him Posted: 8/14/2009 4:05:24 AM
Nine years? He'll NEVER marry her. Not always true. A friend of mine didn't get married until 10 years after they started dating. I wouldn't suggest an ultimatum unless she truely desires marriage that badly that she's willing to sacrifice a 9 year relationship only to have to try to find someone else who's willing to sign a piece of paper. I know if I was handed an ultimatum that'd be the end of that.

nocatchyname

Joined: 1/15/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Girls wants to bring friends on our first date? Posted: 8/14/2009 2:52:58 AM
WAHOO!! The more the merrier. Social networking with females is never a bad thing. Maybe things won't click with her, but will with one of her friends. Go out, have fun. Why do casual first dates have to be so formal that you can't just hang out and have a great time? Hell, if you're really worried about it, bring some buddies along.

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