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 Author Thread: Workplace dicipline
 Wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Workplace dicipline
Posted: 2/19/2013 7:17:53 PM
As noted, it varies depending on workplace. For six years I worked for a state agency. Civil service employees were virtually impossible to fire, as I learned when an outgoing governor forced me to hire a new employee into a position created just for him through a rigged hiring practice, yet when I tried to dismiss him after the new administration came on board found myself mired in years of hearings and appeals. But since I was a will and pleasure employee, when my time came I was simply asked to resign and had no recourse.

Now I'm the discipline dude as chief of staff of a large adventure resort where the payroll ranges from a low of thirty employees to a peak of 450, depending on the season. Many of our staff not only work here but also live in employee housing and socialize here as well. We're not just a workplace but also a community, so a lot of flexibility is involved in striving to be consistent and fair in disciplinary actions.

I have four levels of discipline: the "hand on the shoulder" talk, formal verbal warning, written warning, and dismissal. Depending on the severity of the infraction, I could respond at any one of those levels regardless of whether lesser levels had already been utilized. Threaten or commit an act of violence and you're gone. Show up a few minutes late and you'll probably just get the hand on the shoulder, unless its a chronic problem. For infractions in between I investigate all I can then sit down with the employee with a level in mind, but often they can move up or down the scale depending on how they respond to the issue at hand. My goal is to assure that inappropriate behavior doesn't continue, and I'll dial up or down the discipline as needed to achieve that goal.

Hand on the shoulder chats are only recorded in my memory. Everything else is carefully documented. Verbals get tossed at the end of the year. Writtens and dismissals stay in their file indefinitely, although if a written is more than a year old its possible to have another written without a dismissal.

Sexual harassment is a whole different animal here than it would be in a more conventional workplace. Flirting, innuendo, dirty jokes, and fraternizing between co-workers are all common, but no still means no. If someone indicates to a co worker, whether verbally or non verbally that the others behavior is offensive that behavior is to stop immediately. If it doesn't, I become involved, although the need for that is rare. We're a tight knit community. Everyone helps everyone else be a productive member of the community. Couples form and break up. People live together, marry, have children, have affairs, divorce, and still keep working here mostly harmoniously.

I have to make a lot of judgment calls, but I strive to be fair and have yet to have a dismissal challenged. Hope I didn't just jinx myself.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 78 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/30/2013 3:16:29 PM

Sorry, Wax. I ignored no data. I merely pointed out that the data you reference does not show what you think it does.


No, you've just demonstrated that you define science differently than scientists do, and thus reach conclusions completely at odds with accepted scientific practices and principles.

Believe what you choose. Just don't pretend you've got a scientific basis for disbelieving science.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 1/28/2013 2:07:08 PM
Sex isn't (or shouldn't be) something you allow or give away. It should be something you both choose to do because in both of your judgment it's the right thing for the two of you to do right then.

Do what feels right to you. If a man will think less of you for being true to yourself he's not the man you were looking for anyway.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Relationship sex vs spontaneous sex
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:57:00 PM
I gotta disagree on this one.

Two primary points: first, if you take lovemaking seriously, you can't help but improve with practice as you each learn the nuances of what works best with each other. I can't think of any woman I've ever been intimate with that I haven't become more adept at giving her pleasure over time. Second is the emotional component. There's good sex and bad sex, but true lovemaking transcends any purely physical sexual experience, at least for me. When I'm in love and in tune with my partner not only are my physical sensations greatly enhanced but it's almost as if I can feel what she's feeling as well. Merging emotional and erotic intensity creates far more mind blowing sex than any one night stand could ever hope for.

Sure if a relationship goes bad or hits some rough spots the quality of the sex suffers along with it, and I won't pretend I haven't enjoyed some really nice one time encounters when single, but at least for me true lovemaking trumps casual sex hands down.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/25/2013 10:49:08 AM

We should all train ourselves, however much effort it takes, to be equally attracted to everyone.


So...with that approach what makes your certain special someone special? And should that training extend beyond the physical? If on your first date you heard that she thought the Constitution wasn't worth the paper it was written on and our government wasn't liberal enough would that affect your interest or have you trained yourself to ignore that component as well?

Shared chemistry is a huge joy in a relationship, in my view, and that means on an intimate level all of us are drawn to some things, turned away by others. I'm an ardent believer in equality in the workplace, in government, in all our daily dealings with each other in society. But I have no problem at all with individuals being as "unfair" as they want to be in who they become intimate with so long as they're honest. I'm all for gay marriage, for example, but have zero interest in having a mate of my gender. I'm all for everyone finding fulfillment, and if what fulfills someone is having a mate with six fingers on their left hand and they're patient enough to wait until they find that mate more power to them.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
drink and smoke, frequency vs amount
Posted: 1/25/2013 10:26:58 AM

I agree, but blasting someone because they smoke or are overweight in a public forum is just rude.


I agree but it's part of what makes the forums so interesting. Amazing the number of people who have forum posts full of prejudice, judgments, and rudeness yet if you peek at their profiles you read about how happy go lucky, open minded and accepting they "are".

Eliminating the teetotalers, there are so many shades of grey when it comes to alcohol use that fall between an annual sip of new years champagne and drinking your breakfast every day. To some extent the same is true of smokers, although those able to partake occasionally without becoming addicted are more rare than occasional drinkers are.

Personally I have no problem acknowledging that I partake in both, then sharing the details early enough in conversation to let us part ways early if that's a deal breaker. Fortunately my current flame is tolerant of my light tobacco use, but I was sure to let her know early exactly the extent of my habit.

It's always irritating when dating sites try to cram us into categories we don't comfortably fit, but that's what profile text is for. The tobacco/alcohol/drug use categories never bothered me much, but I got pretty fired up when they made me define what kind of relationship I was looking for before letting me read my mail. It still sticks in my craw. For me, this is a social setting. I'm here to meet people. Right now I'm happily involved and have no interest in dating, but still glad to make new forum friends. When I was dating, sure I harbored the hope that maybe someday I'd meet my happily ever after,(and I hope I now have) but I could also enjoy a good dinner and conversation or other casual date as well. I wasn't LOOKING for a serious relationship but quite open to one if it felt right, as it does now. So I felt obliged for a while to devote a long paragraph in my profile to say I didn't fit any preset category but was open to anything from a new internet pal to a lifelong mate, making the best of life as best I could without rejecting some new contact just because they didn't fit some predetermined mold or trying to force a new relationship into a bad fit for both of us.

But I digress. It's a simple matter to share early on in dialogue the extent of your drinking and/or smoking, and for those who find any use at all unacceptable I'm sure the check boxes are helpful.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
How would you improve the human body?
Posted: 1/25/2013 9:32:57 AM
Eliminate addiction.

If a substance has a desired effect for a given time period, fine, but let's disconnect the craving for a substance just to meet the desire for the substance, whether medicinal or recreational.

So many good people have come to ruin through addiction
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Is it rude to put physical preferences in your profile?
Posted: 1/25/2013 8:15:33 AM
I wrestled with this for along time. I have definite dealbreakers on some things, preferences on others. Early on I was pretty explicit and caught a lot of flack for it, even getting called misogynist, which I thought was nuts. In the workplace and my friendships I don't discriminate at all based on appearance, but when it comes to someone I'll be intimate with I reserve the right to be as picky as I choose.

After much trial and error I settled on a statement along the lines of "I'm attracted to a fit, outdoors oriented woman who will join me on at least some of my adventures. If you think hiking up the 500 foot hill behind my home to admire the view sounds like fun, or an ideal vacation would be a three week river camping trip through the Grand Canyon, we should talk!" That combined with a picture on her profile allowed me to narrow the field as well as could be expected just from what I write on my profile.

It saves a lot of trouble on both sides if we're all clear about what we're looking for, but there's no need to be judgmental or rude about it. In my case I'm unusually turned off by a lot of makeup (which is my odd trait, not a judgment), and I spend a lot of time engaged in strenuous outdoor activities that are all the more fun when shared with someone special. While I'm certainly impressed by all the right curves in all the right places, a dazzling smile, eyes you can fall into, etc.... none of those are critical to me, so no need to put them in my profile. I can figure out soon enough if I feel attracted, and so many aspects of attraction just can't be put into words.

I'm currently a month in to a new relationship with a woman I met on green singles, another dating site. She was just as positively explicit as I was in her profile. Our first two dates were long hikes, the second through eight inches of snow ending well after dark. We're in that wonderful joy of discovery stage, both thrilled that we find so many of the same things exciting. Had we not both been clear in our profiles about what we were looking for we might never have met.

But an important part of that clarity was getting our point across without putting anyone down. How someone expresses theirself tells much about their overall attitude, and that's an important trait.

Finally, it's certainly true that many don't even read profiles. Despite stating my unavailability clearly up front, that I'm only here for the forums, I keep getting regular messages of interest. Apparently it's not just guys who don't bother to read!
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 199 (view)
 
Strap-on
Posted: 1/22/2013 2:26:00 PM

people may think I'm close minded..and i really am not but this is one area i must say is a definite and not negotiable NO..


There's nothing close minded about personal boundaries and preferences. The close minded here are those who pass judgment on others for THEIR personal boundaries and preferences. I'm always amazed by the number of people who can't tell the difference.

It's absolutely FINE to find this or that act personally unacceptable. It is NOT fine to condemn others for enjoying things you wouldn't personally want to do. I have zero interest in being sexually intimate with someone of my own gender. I have zero problem with two consenting adults of the same gender (or different genders) enjoying whatever sex practices work for them. If they're happy, I'm happy for them.

As for the topic at hand...

Been there, done that, enjoyed that, would enjoy it again in the right circumstances, but it's not essential to my fullfilment. More of a fun variation if we're both in the right frame of mind.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why do guys add me as a FAVORITE & then never msg me?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:52:25 AM
Lotsa reasons, many already mentioned here.

They don't fall within your restrictions
They went through and saved several profiles worth another look but now's not a good time to start something (maybe three women caught their eye and they don't want to juggle three conversations leading to possible dates at once)
They like to look at your pictures
They like to follow your forum posts
They're intending to show your profile to a friend you seem a good match for

Whatever. Saving favorites is a tool here. Different people use the same tools different ways. If someone favorites you and they look interesting, that's a perfect icebreaker for you to use contacting them first.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Is there such thing as too many sex partners?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:39:58 AM
How many partners she's HAD means nothing. How many she HAS is what matters.

Being at the same level of commitment to each other is important. Your individual paths to get there is not.

The only other concern would be if she's the type to be obsessive about your past THAT could be a problem, just as you being obsessive about hers can create a lot of angst you don't need.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 316 (view)
 
Natural and hairy women?
Posted: 1/21/2013 9:10:03 AM
I'm drawn to the natural look - ideally no makeup, let hair grow where hair grows - but am far more turned off by a lot of makeup than hair choices, whatever they might be.

I think it's really a matter of personal preference, but I do note generational differences. On another thread that hit on the same topic a young woman tried to make the claim that somehow those who shaved more were more evolved than those who didn't, which is nuts in my book. (no pun intended) It does seem like for the most part younger folk are more into shaved pubes, older not so much, but there are certainly exceptions. Here the OP is in his twenties seeking hair, whytewater is a tad older and likes shaved.

To each their own!
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/18/2013 3:00:36 PM
Wax, LC, thank you for taking the time to dive down into the weeds to provide scientific answers.

As a long time veteran of these debates, I decided a while back that I would no longer play amateur scientist to argue with those who think they know science better than scientists do. I don't argue with the 'list' of experts who say smoking is bad for my health. I don't argue with the 'list' of experts who tell me flossing helps me keep my teeth. And I'm not going to argue science with those who reject the very long list of science organizations endorsing AGW when there is not a single reputable science organization rejecting it.

I have never claimed to be a scientist, but I understand both the scientific method and how it is practiced today. I've monitored the results of that method as it pertains to global warming for a couple of decades now. I've seen the science evolve, fill in blanks, refine predictions. I've seen challenges to that science made and met. I've seen blatant efforts to discredit legitimate science made by those with blatant ulterior motives, all the while accusing the entire science community of various fantastic ulterior political and financial motivations. Those accusations NEVER stand up to any sort of independent scrutiny.

Climate change is happening. Human activity is the principle cause. The evidence is overwhelming. Those who want to argue CO2 lag, solar flares, volcanic activity, supposed antarctic ice sheet growth, or whatever other pin pricks some people try to poke into the massive balloon of scientific evidence are free to do their own research, write their own papers, subject themselves to the peer review process. Science DOES involve repeated efforts at falsification, but the process of falsifying is far more involved than posting opinions on a dating site discussion forum.

Everyone is, of course, free to believe whatever they choose. But choosing to disbelieve the basic concept of AGW means choosing to disbelieve the scientific method as a valid means of performing science. That's not a belief I'm about to embrace.
 Wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/15/2013 7:46:09 PM
Gentlemen. Legitimate science consists of theories developed through diligent application of the scientific method. Look it up if you don't know what that entails. The organizations I listed would not endorse any scientific theory unless they were convinced it represented valid application of the scientific method. Exactly zero comparable science organizations have rejected AGW. If any of you have competing theories you're welcome to submit your findings to any peer reviewed journal and see how it stands up. Merely throwing out unsupported claims that the vast majority of the science community is more interested in politics than science certainly is NOT legitimate science.

The scientists in the seventies knew plenty. That's why most of them then did not support the cooling theory. Scientists today know more. Scientists tomorrow will know more yet. That's how science works. Co2 as a greenhouse gas was proposed before evolution was. Research and observations have only strengthened that position ever since. AGW isn't a fad, isn't a temporary position. It certainly isn't a political movement, any more than nuclear energy, space travel, or computers were. All represent scientific progress that political leaders responded to, not invented out of whole cloth.

So feel free to accept or reject whatever you want. Just don't claim a position as representing legitimate science unless you're prepared to put it to the test of scrutiny from legitimate scientists who DO believe in the value of the scientific method.

(Edit) while I was typing kk did us the courtesy of sharing a nice definition of the scientific method. Unfortunately he seems to think al gore was the first person to propose the concept of AGW. That's ridiculous I'm not even a scientist, but went to see al gores rather mediocre movie with pen and paper prepared to take notes, but didn't hear anything I hadn't already learned through monitoring the journals for the previous decade or so, as I was a latecomer to the issue. Al gore isn't a scientist and I would never cite him as an authority. I, like he, simply cite scientists who ARE authorities.
 Wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/15/2013 5:41:30 PM
Oh come on Paul, your reading comprehension is better than that.

The co2 lag has been explained to you many times, most recently here in this thread. It is not ignored by any of the groups I listed. It's understood. If you had any real interest in understanding it you'd research it yourself. Google is your friend.

Read my last post again. I made no claim that no scientists differ with the majority. I said that those who differed were unable to make a convincing argument to their peers. There certainly are dissenters. But they, like you, are unable to put together a compelling case.

The global cooling theory was based on the proven cooling effect of particulates in the atmosphere. The warming effect of co2 was already well known but the concern was that we were putting so many other pollutants into the atmosphere that there would be more cooling than warming. It was never a majority position. No science organizations issued statements endorsing it. But Newsweek picked up on it and brought it to the attention of the public. If we were to have a really large volcanic eruption ( like Yellowstone) it would create a cooling effect that would interrupt the current warming trend for a year or two, but then the warming would resume.

All of this is easy to research. Almost as easy as reading what has already been written in this thread.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/15/2013 1:28:43 PM
All right, rpl, for the sake of argument I'll avoid reference to any organization specifically formed to investigate climate change, pro or con. Never mind that the IPCC has consistently UNDERESTIMATED how soon we would see what results, as witness more rapid ice sheet loss, sea level rise, and global temperature rise than their early predictions indicated. Never mind all that. Let's just look at national and international science organizations whose principle focus is NOT climate change, have strong track records in other aspects of science, and never the less have issued statements endorsing the human role in a warming planet. Here you go:


Academia Chilena de Ciencias, Chile
Academia das Ciencias de Lisboa, Portugal
Academia de Ciencias de la República Dominicana
Academia de Ciencias Físicas, Matemáticas y Naturales de Venezuela
Academia de Ciencias Medicas, Fisicas y Naturales de Guatemala
Academia Mexicana de Ciencias,Mexico
Academia Nacional de Ciencias de Bolivia
Academia Nacional de Ciencias del Peru
Académie des Sciences et Techniques du Sénégal
Académie des Sciences, France
Academies of Arts, Humanities and Sciences of Canada
Academy of Athens
Academy of Science of Mozambique
Academy of Science of South Africa
Academy of Sciences for the Developing World (TWAS)
Academy of Sciences Malaysia
Academy of Sciences of Moldova
Academy of Sciences of the Czech Republic
Academy of Sciences of the Islamic Republic of Iran
Academy of Scientific Research and Technology, Egypt
Academy of the Royal Society of New Zealand
Accademia Nazionale dei Lincei, Italy
African Academy of Sciences
Albanian Academy of Sciences
Amazon Environmental Research Institute
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Anthropological Association
American Association for the Advancement of Science
American Association of State Climatologists (AASC)
American Association of Wildlife Veterinarians
American Astronomical Society
American Chemical Society
American College of Preventive Medicine
American Fisheries Society
American Geophysical Union
American Institute of Biological Sciences
American Institute of Physics
American Meteorological Society
American Physical Society
American Public Health Association
American Quaternary Association
American Society for Microbiology
American Society of Agronomy
American Society of Civil Engineers
American Society of Plant Biologists
American Statistical Association
Association of Ecosystem Research Centers
Australian Academy of Science
Australian Bureau of Meteorology
Australian Coral Reef Society
Australian Institute of Marine Science
Australian Institute of Physics
Australian Marine Sciences Association
Australian Medical Association
Australian Meteorological and Oceanographic Society
Bangladesh Academy of Sciences
Botanical Society of America
Brazilian Academy of Sciences
British Antarctic Survey
Bulgarian Academy of Sciences
California Academy of Sciences
Cameroon Academy of Sciences
Canadian Association of Physicists
Canadian Foundation for Climate and Atmospheric Sciences
Canadian Geophysical Union
Canadian Meteorological and Oceanographic Society
Canadian Society of Soil Science
Canadian Society of Zoologists
Caribbean Academy of Sciences views
Center for International Forestry Research
Chinese Academy of Sciences
Colombian Academy of Exact, Physical and Natural Sciences
Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization (CSIRO) (Australia)
Consultative Group on International Agricultural Research
Croatian Academy of Arts and Sciences
Crop Science Society of America
Cuban Academy of Sciences
Delegation of the Finnish Academies of Science and Letters
Ecological Society of America
Ecological Society of Australia
Environmental Protection Agency
European Academy of Sciences and Arts
European Federation of Geologists
European Geosciences Union
European Physical Society
European Science Foundation
Federation of American Scientists
French Academy of Sciences
Geological Society of America
Geological Society of Australia
Geological Society of London
Georgian Academy of Sciences
German Academy of Natural Scientists Leopoldina
Ghana Academy of Arts and Sciences
Indian National Science Academy
Indonesian Academy of Sciences
Institute of Ecology and Environmental Management
Institute of Marine Engineering, Science and Technology
Institute of Professional Engineers New Zealand
Institution of Mechanical Engineers, UK
InterAcademy Council
International Alliance of Research Universities
International Arctic Science Committee
International Association for Great Lakes Research
International Council for Science
International Council of Academies of Engineering and Technological Sciences
International Research Institute for Climate and Society
International Union for Quaternary Research
International Union of Geodesy and Geophysics
International Union of Pure and Applied Physics
Islamic World Academy of Sciences
Israel Academy of Sciences and Humanities
Kenya National Academy of Sciences
Korean Academy of Science and Technology
Kosovo Academy of Sciences and Arts
l'Académie des Sciences et Techniques du Sénégal
Latin American Academy of Sciences
Latvian Academy of Sciences
Lithuanian Academy of Sciences
Madagascar National Academy of Arts, Letters, and Sciences
Mauritius Academy of Science and Technology
Montenegrin Academy of Sciences and Arts
National Academy of Exact, Physical and Natural Sciences, Argentina
National Academy of Sciences of Armenia
National Academy of Sciences of the Kyrgyz Republic
National Academy of Sciences, Sri Lanka
National Academy of Sciences, United States of America
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
National Association of Geoscience Teachers
National Association of State Foresters
National Center for Atmospheric Research
National Council of Engineers Australia
National Institute of Water & Atmospheric Research, New Zealand
National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
National Research Council
National Science Foundation
Natural England
Natural Environment Research Council, UK
Natural Science Collections Alliance
Network of African Science Academies
New York Academy of Sciences
Nicaraguan Academy of Sciences
Nigerian Academy of Sciences
Norwegian Academy of Sciences and Letters
Organization of Biological Field Stations
Pakistan Academy of Sciences
Palestine Academy for Science and Technology
Polish Academy of Sciences
Romanian Academy
Royal Academies for Science and the Arts of Belgium
Royal Academy of Exact, Physical and Natural Sciences of Spain
Royal Astronomical Society, UK
Royal Danish Academy of Sciences and Letters
Royal Irish Academy
Royal Meteorological Society (UK)
Royal Netherlands Academy of Arts and Sciences
Royal Netherlands Institute for Sea Research
Royal Scientific Society of Jordan
Royal Society of Canada
Royal Society of Chemistry, UK
Royal Society of the United Kingdom
Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences
Russian Academy of Sciences
Science and Technology, Australia
Science Council of Japan
Scientific Committee on Antarctic Research
Scientific Committee on Solar-Terrestrial Physics
Scripps Institution of Oceanography
Serbian Academy of Sciences and Arts
Slovak Academy of Sciences
Slovenian Academy of Sciences and Arts
Society for Ecological Restoration International
Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics
Society of American Foresters
Society of Biology (UK)
Society of Biology, UK
Society of Systematic Biologists
Soil Science Society of America
Sudan Academy of Sciences
Sudanese National Academy of Science
Tanzania Academy of Sciences
The Wildlife Society (international)
Turkish Academy of Sciences
Uganda National Academy of Sciences
Union of German Academies of Sciences and Humanities
University Corporation for Atmospheric Research
Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution
World Association of Zoos and Aquariums
World Federation of Public Health Associations
World Forestry Congress
World Health Organization
World Meteorological Organization
Zambia Academy of Sciences
Zimbabwe Academy of Sciences

Now let's look at the list of nationally or internationally recognized science organizations that have issued statements challenging the human role in a warming planet......

Oops, there aren't any.

Certainly there are independent scientists with dissenting opinions, most of whom differ on the degree of human influence, not whether there is any at all, but not one of them has been able to sufficiently impress their peers with the quality of their science to elicit a single statement from a single national or international science organization disputing the human role in climate change.

I did my best to purge the above list of any organizations directly associated with the UN or whose principal focus was only climate change, but I might have missed one or two. It's a long list.

However you want to define legitimate science, it's hard to believe that so many science organizations would endorse an indefensible scientific position, while NO organizations challenge it, other than the smattering of controversial lists circulated by groups who clearly DO have a specific anti AGW agenda.

'nuff said
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
FWB whats going on??
Posted: 1/15/2013 11:15:25 AM
Ya know, if you don't approve of a FWB relationship, don't have one. No need to pass judgment on others who do find fulfillment within that context. I never understand why so many feel so compelled to condemn two people for doing something that works well for them. What business is it of yours? FWB, gay, mixed race, may/september, polyamorous - who cares so long as no one is getting hurt?

Sure it can be a juggling act sorting out your respective degrees of FWB emotional involvement, but marriages and other committed relationships aren't immune from those challenges either. The key to it all is good communication, which is so easy to say yet often difficult to accomplish. But if you're truly friends, you oughta be able to talk. None of us here can guess what's in his head and heart. Ask him. Tell him how you feel. You'll both be better off for it.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/15/2013 9:13:49 AM
Yeah, there have been times when I've tangled online with people I suspected to be part of a concentrated climate change denial movement, but I don't think that's the case with these two, who are regular contributors here on all sorts of topics. I am more suspicious of those who pounce on any news article that in any way references climate change or global warming and fill the reader comment sections with disinformation, yet you never see them contribute on any other topics. Over the years there have been one or two trolls here doing exactly that.

I do know that for a time Exxon was offering cash rewards to anyone who could get a peer reviewed article published questioning the human role in a warming planet, yet often denialists try to use a follow the money argument to question legitimate science.

But I also recognize that there are people who just genuinely don't believe the overwhelming weight of science supporting AGW. Whether they think it's some shady conspiracy or latch on to a single point like CO2 lag or that a single paper contemplating the potential for cooling rather than warming due to particulates was published decades ago and even though it never was widely accepted somehow they argue that scientists are flip flopping on the issue.

So sure, there may be some people out there who actually get paid to play ostrich and vocally bury their heads in the sand, but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt before accusing them of having dishonorable motivations. Some people just see the world through different lenses.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar..
Posted: 1/15/2013 6:47:28 AM
We all have our filters, and it's nobody else's business what they are. Although some general assumptions generally apply, you're dating a person, not a category, and an exception to the rule could well be an exceptional person and date.

I've dated younger, older, same age. I put more emphasis on interest in the outdoors and fit enough to enjoy the same outdoor activities I do, but that's just me. That shrinks the pool of older prospects, but doesn't eliminate it. I'm 54, and have a 64 year old cousin who runs ultra marathons. Were she not kin she'd be an ideal prospect. The woman I'm seeing now is 48 and our first two dates were long hikes.

All I'd suggest is figure out what qualities are important to you and choose accordingly. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone else, and you don't need us to tell you what should matter to you. Know yourself, trust yourself.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
No sex before marriage - turn on or turn off?
Posted: 1/14/2013 2:53:52 PM
No sex before marriage makes about as much sense to me as no conversation before marriage.

I call bogus on the claims of "no such thing as sexual compatibility". As one who has stayed in close touch with several ex significant others, I know that it's the combination of any two people that determines how well they match up, both in and out of the bedroom. Some people have taboos that are essential elements to others. Some like it rough, some gentle. Sure it's important to know your own body and set as a priority pleasing your partner, but how that all plays out between any two people just can't be known until you've spent intimate time together.

Now if sex just doesn't matter that much to you, nor to your partner, then I can see it being low on the priority list for choosing a mate. And/or if both of you place more value on waiting than exploring the sexual aspect of your relationship it's not my place to question. But before I ever make a lifelong commitment I want to be confident we align intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/14/2013 2:27:37 PM
Funny how I can take a many months break from the forums and come back to the same folk saying the same things. Paul keeps pretending he has never heard the answer to the CO2 lag question, even though he keeps getting the same answer every time he asks. KK keeps accusing others of practices he's far more apt to use himself.

I'm grateful others are stepping up to provide the science answers. It saves me the trouble of digging up citations to provide to those who think they know more about climate science than climate scientists do.

I would point out, though, that the diminished CFC's leading to shrinking the ozone hole were the direct result of a successful cap and trade system, as was the solution to the acid rain problem. And that the concept of cap and trade was developed by the Reagan administration, about as far removed as you can get from a hippie conspiracy.

As pointed out, it matters little what happens in any particular back yard. It's what's happening on a global scale over statistically significant time spans that really tells the tale. Climate change is happening, and will be happening to a much greater extent, so our ability to adapt combined with whatever steps we can muster the will to take to minimize our negative impacts will determine how comfy of an existence humans will have at the end of this century.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
If Change is good, then why does Climate Change scare me?
Posted: 1/11/2013 2:58:10 PM
Tons to learn from the natural world.

First and foremost, we aren't special. We're critters just like every other critter, and far more have gone extinct than survived. Some went extinct due to their own mistakes, some via external factors. In global life history terms, we haven't been around all that long and are still in the process of sorting out whether there's a place for us here.

We strut and fluff and act like we own the place, but the planet doesn't care. Ultimately it will "win". It's up to us if we want to play on the winning team.

What we can learn from other survivors is to find and foster our niche, not seek to conquer all. Adapt. Change. Move if need be.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Resigned to being single or determined to change that?
Posted: 5/1/2012 8:14:29 PM
I'm neither resigned nor determined, simply happy with who I am and open to whatever the future has to offer.

I learned long ago that if I focused more on what I didn't have but wanted rather than savoring what I did have it didn't bode well for a new relationship. Any time I"ve actively pursued a relationship it just seemed to get us off on the wrong foot and we never recovered. Other times when I've just focused on living a full life I've found that when opportunity presents itself we start out on equal footing and by carrying that equal give and take through the early stages of the relationship it builds a much stronger foundation.

Dunno if that makes any sense, but it is what works best for me. I'm good with a living a fulfilling single life but ready for more whenever the time comes.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Dating Ages
Posted: 5/1/2012 7:20:30 PM


And I've got a feeling the OP will be directed to one of the "age is just a number (or NOT)" threads in which mothers and fathers of young ladies list their reasons why that particular OP should man-up and date women and not girls. But I could be wrong


You do realize that his preferred age range pretty much corresponds with the age most women go through menopause? Not exactly pre-pubescent.

But I have no doubt you're right. There will be no shortage of others who will line up to condemn him for preferring women likely to have younger grandchildren than he does.

And I admit I'm a bit over sensitive on this topic. I've dated women younger, I've dated older. My longest serious relationship was with a woman a number of years older than me. My second longest relationship was with a woman quite a bit younger, and THAT'S when I experienced surprisingly vigorous disapproval from a number of women friends. I was in my thirties, she was in her twenties when we met, but you'd think I was a child molester based on the reaction I got from some women. Even now, 13 years since we broke up, I still get occasional grief over that relationship.

But despite all those negative external perceptions, that ex and I remain good friends very glad for the time we had living together. Life circumstances took us in different directions, but the only regrets either of us have are the few hurtful things we said to each other in our final months together that we've long since forgiven each other for. We talk periodically, have cheered each other on in subsequent relationships, and if one of us is in the other's neck of the woods we get together for lunch or a river trip.

What happened between us was between us. We neither got together nor broke up because of our age difference. Why others felt compelled to pass judgment on us I have no idea. I continue to pay no attention to age, nor to what others think of who I choose to date. Not that it matters but my last attempt at a relationship was with a woman one year older.

So yeah, I confess that the memories of negative reactions from others to a relationship that we were both quite happy with colors my opinions on this thread.

I've discovered I'm outside the mainstream when I judge the quality of other relationships by how happy they both are with each other and little else.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Dating Ages
Posted: 5/1/2012 5:28:45 PM

It is fine to do so when they ask us for our opinions.


Fair enough. Our respective opinions have been registered.

I've got the feeling the OP will find himself a fine woman in his preferred age range and I wish him the best in his search.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Dating Ages
Posted: 5/1/2012 4:35:52 PM

We have as much right to object to someone else's preferences as they have the right to have those preferences.


Not in my view. I guess we'll just have to disagree.

I won't tell you what music to listen to, what food to eat, how to wear your hair or what movie you should watch. Don't tell me who to date.

I think we all have the right to be as picky as we want to be about who we want to date, and it's not for anyone else to critique our preferences. If we limit ourselves too much we may not date much, but that's our own choice, and not the concern of anyone else.

Personally, age isn't a big deal to me, but other things are, and I make them pretty clear in my profile. You can object to them all you want, but frankly, your opinion doesn't matter a whit any more than my opinion of who you should date does.

But I suppose if you think it's your right to tell everyone else what they should and shouldn't like I can't stop you. Just don't expect many to take you seriously.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Dating Ages
Posted: 5/1/2012 2:35:25 PM
Most men are taller than most women. Your height example isn't analogous to age.


Preferences are just preferences, and don't have to be analogous to each other. Equal opportunity, fairness, etc... don't apply when it comes to deciding who to date or mate.

Some people have strong feelings about beards, height, weight, hair, tattoos, ethnicity, religion, political preference, music tastes, make up, income and who knows what else, including age. It's not for any of us to judge someone else's preferences unless we're evaluating them as a prospective date for ourselves.

I'm sure all of us know happy couples who from afar appear to be a mismatch yet to each other are just right. I'd be the last to tell them they shouldn't be happy with each other, and I'm not about to judge someone else's stated preferences here.

I object to men who set higher standards for the women they date than they set for themselves.


So I guess every woman who wants to date a man who makes more money than they do is objectionable? I should reject any woman with bigger breasts than mine? Since when is youth a higher standard than experience? Differences in age are just differences. I wouldn't want to be 30 again even if some women who would date a 30 year old wouldn't date me at 54.

Once again, what gives any one of us the right to object to the preferences of someone else, so long as they're not crossing legal boundaries?
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Dating Ages
Posted: 5/1/2012 10:32:15 AM
We all have our preferences, and it's not for someone else to tell you what yours should be. Likewise it's impossible to generalize about the preferences of all others.

Certainly the more you limit your options the smaller the group you have to pick from, but that also means not getting messages from as many women you have no interest in. There are women who are attracted to men older than them as well as plenty who aren't or that don't want to date a man more than a few years older.

If you're new to the internet dating world the best advice I can offer is to present yourself as honestly as you can and not put any more restraints on who can message you than you're absolutely sure you'd never waver from. And if you're going to be active in the forums I'd suggest not listing any restraints whatsoever, as many of us correspond privately to follow up on forum thread discussions. I don't find it that big of a deal to either politely decline or choose not to respond to dating inquiries from women who are clearly a poor match.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 435 (view)
 
George Zimmerman (watchguard) is in FBI custody!
Posted: 4/23/2012 2:45:16 PM
I've stayed away from commenting on this case because there's far more I don't know than do know about it, but what the heck here goes:

What we do know is that a man with a gun killed a young man with no weapon of any kind. Exactly how their confrontation played out we'll probably never know. But based on the above it strikes me that some sort of charges are warranted.

I don't know if race was a factor. I do know that carrying a gun is NOT a normal part of a neighborhood watch program, nor is pursuing a person of concern. And the way this incident played out does not appear to be consistent with the intent of any "stand your ground" legislation, even if the Florida version of that legislation does appear to have been a factor in Zimmerman's initial release. I expect Florida will do some tweaking of that law as a result.

I do think it should be possible to seat an impartial jury. Sure just about everyone has heard something about the case, but a whole lot of us are fully capable of passing judgment based on actual evidence presented and setting aside media hype.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Natural Body Odor
Posted: 4/20/2012 2:24:47 PM
How sad that the OP has received no like minded replies yet, and has even been told that preferring natural scent over manufactured scent is a 'fetish'.

If it's clean, the scent should be subtle, perhaps not noticeable at all until your nose is within inches, but I too find a woman's natural aroma far more enticing than anything out of a can or a bottle, and that includes anything rose scented.

I'm pretty sure every other mammal responds the same way. Back when bathing was a rare treat, somebody invented perfume to mask our natural stink. These days most of us can shower multiple times a day if we choose, and for me at least, that eliminates the need for any sort of artificial scent.

Natural is my favorite by far, and if some lingers in my beard it just keeps a smile on my face until my next shower.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Who Killed the Electric Car - documovie -What if it not dead
Posted: 4/20/2012 2:11:50 PM
The electric car is far from dead. In fact a recent study shows that electric cars are being adopted quicker than hybrids were when first introduced.

For many consumers, they don't make good sense right now, but as battery technology and charging options improve AND as gas prices continue to rise they'll become more and more attractive.

Likewise, the 'greenness' of electric cars will steadily improve as the nation continues to shift to cleaner electricity supplies. When I bought my Prius in the Fall of 2003 coal supplied over half of the nation's electricity. Today coal is down to 45%, and looks to continue to drop. Five states now produce over ten percent of their electricity from wind.

The bottom line is that both the economic and environmental bottom line of owning an electric car will only get better in the years to come. It's up to each of us individually to decide when to make the change.

I agree with Paul that the true environmental footprint has to include ALL impacts, starting with materials continuing through construction, use impacts, and ending with disposal/recycling costs. I disagree with him that no one includes those impacts, as quite a few footprint analyses do just that.

So the smart thing to do is keep driving what you've got until it either wears out or stops being economically viable, then consider all available options and pick your next ride based on whatever values mean most to you. I didn't buy the first Prius version because it as a four door sedan not suitable for my hauling needs. When they came out with a hatchback I bought one of the first available in the state, as I can sleep in it, haul a couple of kayaks in it, or a bundle of 10 foot 2x4's if need be. Eight and a half years and 189,000 miles later it's still going strong, still giving me 500 plus miles per tank, and having tracked every drop of gas I've put in it I know it's achieved 52 mpg lifetime, through all conditions.

I hope to get many more years out of it, and whenever the day does come to replace it will look hard at whatever pure electric options are out there.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Obama can't get a break!
Posted: 4/15/2012 2:04:09 PM
I doubt this episode will have any impact on the election, unless it balloons into a far larger scandal. It certainly reflects poor judgment on the part of the SS and military personnel involved, but as faux pas go, so far it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal. I expect those who deserve it will be disciplined and more care taken in the future to prevent a recurrence. Come November the whole thing will be old news.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/15/2012 1:59:48 PM
My guess is that there are more women hesitant to send a first message than there are men who would think negatively of a woman who did. And those women who have shared negative experiences from initiating contact sound just like the men who have complained of the same problems.

If I get a first contact from a woman I'll look at her profile and base my decision whether to respond on the combination of how appealing her profile is to me and how much effort she seemed to put into her message. That and how busy I am at the time, how open I'm feeling to starting up dialogue with someone new, and all the other factors I'm sure others of both genders incorporate into their thought process.

I'm not impressed by one sentence notes. If she seems otherwise appealing I may well try to draw her out more. Otherwise I'd be one of those who just reads and deletes, just as many women do when the guy writing them doesn't pique their interest.

But as I hope has been made clear here, we men don't mind a bit when a woman gets things started.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Being stood up
Posted: 4/2/2012 10:36:01 AM
I was stood up for my very first internet date and since then have always confirmed the day of. No, you shouldn't have to, and people should honor their commitments or let you know up front if they can't, but I'd much rather take the extra step than find myself inconvenienced, frustrated and maybe angry after being stood up.

Living in a sparsely populated area most of the time a date involves a fair amount of time and travel just to get to the meeting spot, so it only makes sense to make sure it's actually going to happen.

Not to mention that keeping the communication going right up until the date can help improve the odds it will be a good date.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
a theory about why men are less picky about who they would have sex with
Posted: 3/30/2012 10:01:55 AM
Like Igor, I rebel against generalizations. I know women more and less picky than I am.

But I certainly do grant that there are very different factors at play for men and women when it comes to sex. Most of them have been hit on here, with an amusing number of posters quite certain they have THE answer.

To some extent, we're sexual animals driven by the same instincts we've always had. But we're also cognitive, so rational thought is a factor as well. I think all of us grapple with immediate urge vs. potential long term implications. Those long term implications include potential pregnancy, STD risk, potential for emotional involvement, and potential judgment by peers and society.

I don't think "inny" vs. "outy" is all that great of a factor, but I do think ejaculator vs. receptor may well be. It's one thing to release bodily fluids, another to receive them. I've even heard the theory that sex partners actually absorb elements from each other that help create a long term bond, with that process accelerated for women via semen if no condom is used.

I think all of us are hormonally driven to at least some extent, and most of us have times when the urge for sex threatens to over rule rational thought. I've seen this in both women and men, and certainly experienced it myself. At 54 I find myself far less likely to let my penis dictate my decision making than when I was in my twenties, but the sexual attraction vs. implications of sex dynamic is still very real.

We've all got filters. None of us would have sex with anyone under any circumstances. Some of those filters are individual conscious choices, some more gender specific. I don't think any one simple explanation applies to every one of us.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
All of the above ... ? Nope.
Posted: 3/29/2012 5:25:12 PM
I'm not going to delve into whether Obama ever clearly stated he 'wanted' gas prices to rise, but the simple truth is that we have two choices: keep gas prices artificially low as long as we can and then face a very rapid increase when supplies are no longer able to meet demand, or gradually increase prices in order to reduce consumption and buy us enough time to develop and transition to whatever the next transportation fuel will be.

Chu clearly realizes this. Obama probably does, but stating it explicitly costs him votes.

We're not making more oil. We only have so much, and we've already exhausted the easy to reach, inexpensive deposits. Consumers repeatedly demonstrate that the ONLY way they'll reduce energy consumption is by responding to higher prices for energy. If electricity is cheap we build 'all electric' homes and pay little attention to how much electricity we use. When gas is cheap we buy gas guzzlers and drive them down the block instead of walking and avoid public transportation.

So whether Obama ever said gas prices need to rise or not, I'll say it right here, as I have before. We can either make a smooth transition to our next transportation option or do it the hard way. I prefer smooth.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
All of the above ... ? Nope.
Posted: 3/28/2012 5:51:24 PM
Three interesting articles crossed my inbox today:


Climate change may cut profits from oceans by trillions

[LONDON] Climate change could reduce the economic value of the services the oceans provide to mankind by almost US$2 trillion a year by 2100, according to a study presented at the Planet Under Pressure conference this week (26–29 March).

The analysis, conducted by the Stockholm Environment Institute (SEI), relates to loss of income from fisheries, tourism, ocean carbon sink, and those related to sea-level rise and storms.

This figure presents loss at a high greenhouse gas emissions scenario — under a lower emissions scenario, the damage would be US$612 billion a year by 2100. Even looking to 2050, the estimated loss is US$106 billion and US$428 billion depending on the level of emissions.


http://www.scidev.net/en/agriculture-and-environment/planet-under-pressure-2012-2/news/climate-change-may-cut-profits-from-oceans-by-trillions.html?utm_source=link&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=en_news


IPCC predicts rise in extreme climate events

[LONDON] Climate change could mean unusually high temperatures occurring much more often in most parts of the world by the end of the century, according to a special report on extreme weather events from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

"A hottest day that occurs once in 20 years is likely to become a one-in-two year event, except in the high latitudes of the northern hemisphere, where it is likely to be one-in-five years," according to Sonia Seneviratne, a climate expert at ETH Zurich, which is part of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology.


http://www.scidev.net/en/agriculture-and-environment/planet-under-pressure-2012-2/news/ipcc-predicts-rise-in-extreme-climate-events.html


Arctic Sea Ice Hits Maximum Extent for 2012

Sea ice in the Arctic has reached its maximum extent for the year and is starting to melt with the onset of spring. At 15.24 million square kilometers (5.88 million square miles), that extent was slightly larger than last year's record low maximum, but continues a downward progression in the region's sea ice. The last nine years have seen the lowest maximum extents recorded by satellite.

NEWS: Arctic's Old Ice Vanishing Rapidly

Ice extent is declining year-round, but the downward trends for winter months are less steep than for summer, largely because most of the Arctic Ocean still gets covered in ice every winter as the sun disappears north of the Arctic Circle. However, the more that the summer sea ice minimum declines -- and last year's extent essentially tied 2007 as the lowest on record -- the harder it is for the winter maximum to reach historical levels, because there is a smaller base on which to build.

Of particular concern is that the ice is declining in volume as well as extent. This winter, ice was only about 10 to 30 centimeters (4 to 12 inches) thick at most, according to Walt Meier of the National Snow and Ice Data Center. “So it will all melt away very quickly," he says -- and as it melts away more completely, so it becomes harder for it to reform, creating what NSIDC Director Mark Serreze has called an "overall downward spiral."


http://news.discovery.com/earth/arctic-sea-ice-reaches-maximum-extent-for-year-120328.html#mkcpgn=rssnws1

Oh, and for good measure, I ran across this citation for those who like to cite "climategate" as proof of any sort of wrong doing on the behalf of climate scientists:


Debunking Misinformation About Stolen Climate Emails in the "Climategate" Manufactured Controversy

The manufactured controversy over emails stolen from the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit has generated a lot more heat than light. The email content being quoted does not indicate that climate data and research have been compromised. Most importantly, nothing in the content of these stolen emails has any impact on our overall understanding that human activities are driving dangerous levels of global warming. Media reports and contrarian claims that they do are inaccurate.

Investigations Clear Scientists of Wrongdoing

Six official investigations have cleared scientists of accusations of wrongdoing.

A three-part Penn State University cleared scientist Michael Mann of wrongdoing.
Two reviews commissioned by the University of East Anglia"supported the honesty and integrity of scientists in the Climatic Research Unit."
A UK Parliament report concluded that the emails have no bearing on our understanding of climate science and that claims against UEA scientists are misleading.
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Inspector General's office concluded there was no evidence of wrongdoing on behalf of their employees.
The National Science Foundation's Inspector General's office concluded, "Lacking any direct evidence of research misconduct...we are closing this investigation with no further action."

Other agencies and media outlets have investigated the substance of the emails.

The Environmental Protection Agency, in response to petitions against action to curb heat-trapping emissions, dismissed attacks on the science rooted in the stolen emails.
Factcheck.org debunked claims that the emails put the conclusions of climate science into question.
Politifact.com rated claims that the emails falsify climate science as "false."
An Associated Press review of the emails found that they "don't undercut the vast body of evidence showing the world is warming because of man-made greenhouse gas emissions."


http://www.ucsusa.org/global_warming/science_and_impacts/global_warming_contrarians/debunking-misinformation-stolen-emails-climategate.html

Having studied climate science for a couple of decades, I know one should never take any one report or paper as the 'truth', but these are just what crossed my email in ONE DAY, completely consistent with countless other documentation that demonstrates anthropogenic climate change is real and will have significant costs attached to it.

Nudging up our electric bills to minimize those costs seems like a sound investment to me.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Russian woman
Posted: 3/28/2012 7:23:01 AM
I have a neighbor who has been happily married to his Russian bride Olga for over ten years, and yes, they met online. I also have two other friends who suffered the heartbreak of marrying foreign women who dumped them after getting established as US citizens. I don't have any magic words of wisdom to assure the former rather than the latter.

As for sorting out purely financial scams, you've already received good advice. Unfortunately scammers are getting more sophisticated. A female friend of mine spent months corresponding with someone posing as a US military officer stationed in Afghanistan. He sent a variety of pictures that turned out to be elaborate fakes that even had the right insignia for the unit he pretended to be with. They talked on the phone. Only at the end when he asked for money did her suspicions arise and detailed research revealed the scam.

My rule is to be clear up front that I won't spend any money beyond my personal travel expenses until after a first meet, and personally I'm not interested in traveling to Russia so she'd have to find her way here to meet me, but that's your call. As noted, ask whatever questions you need to to make sure your messages from her are not scripted. I busted "Svetlana" years ago when she went on at length about wanting to watch me get ready for work in the morning, including watching me shave. Um, does my picture look like I'm a man who shaves?

Don't just research her pictures online. Also her name and any other significant information she's shared. It's been a while since I've looked, but I know there are sites dedicated to outing scammers. Find them and use them.

Good luck!
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
All of the above ... ? Nope.
Posted: 3/28/2012 6:31:13 AM
Yes, Match, I realize you think you know the law better than the Supreme Court does, but they have ruled on this matter so if you don't like it the clear mechanism in place is to lobby Congress to change the law and elect a president who will support such a change.

Many laws get applied in ways beyond whatever crisis of the moment spawned their original passage. When that's done inappropriately if enough people squawk about it laws are changed.

In this case there is massive evidence that increased carbon in the atmosphere warms the planet, causing significant harm. The fact that CO2 is beneficial in some applications does not preclude it being a pollutant in others. The same could be said about many other chemical compounds. Taking steps to reduce our carbon impact makes rational and legal sense.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
All of the above ... ? Nope.
Posted: 3/27/2012 10:20:09 PM
Pardon me for interrupting, but I actually have some on topic thoughts.

Coal is the dirtiest, most expensive energy source we have. All this action does is tell the coal industry to clean up its act. Not too long ago my state was littered with billboards touting "Coal: clean, carbon neutral coal". Now the EPA is saying "OK, prove it."

For the eight years of the Bush administration we kept hearing about the promise of "clean coal" technology. Now the Obama administration is asking for that promise to be kept.

Even if you ignore climate science, study after study has shown that if you include health costs, coal is more expensive than any other energy source. That's why Ontario made the decision to move away from coal, and why many proposed new coal plants in recent years have been rejected by the states and communities considering them.

And that's just considering coal generation. Here in WV coalfield communities have much higher incidence of cancer and birth defects. Thousands of miles of streams run orange, acid, and devoid of even insect life from acid mine drainage. Flash floods are common due to lack of vegetation. And year after year dozens of miners die just doing their jobs.

It takes incredibly fuzzy math to ignore the many costs of coal beyond simple extraction, transportation, and combustion, just as it takes incredibly fuzzy science to ignore anthropogenic climate change.

Coal will be with us for a long time to come. This EPA action ignores existing coal plants, and only applies to new ones. Just as prior air quality legislation grandfathered in existing plants, so does this action. But what it does do is nudge us toward the inevitable future beyond coal. That's why "all of the above" still applies to an energy source that continues to supply over 40 percent of our electricity, and will long after Obama leaves office, whether he gets re-elected or not.

Future historians will marvel at how reluctant we were to give up such a dangerous, expensive energy option. This is a baby step in the right direction.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 329 (view)
 
Facial hair on men over 45 - make them look older or younger - why?
Posted: 3/23/2012 6:46:05 AM

unless you are trying to attract a man........a womans opinion is what you need.


Really? Then I guess all you women will stop wearing makeup because I find it less attractive?

What matters most, male or female, is that we pick the look that makes us FEEL attractive. What will make us attractive to others, more than anything else, is the confidence we exude if we feel good about ourselves.

Sure, many of us are turned off by certain appearance factors in others. But I'd much rather be with a woman who felt attractive looking the way I found her attractive than one who changed her look just for me. By the same token if a woman doesn't like a beard she shouldn't go out with me.

Two people happy with themselves are more likely to be happy with each other, and I'm happiest with a beard.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 165 (view)
 
Men, Does every woman REALLY taste different?
Posted: 3/22/2012 3:37:13 PM

Well dayum! I guess all that prepping to be extra clean down there is just a big waste of time then?!


Pretty much. Just be as clean there as you are on the rest of your body.

I've noticed subtle differences from one woman to another, or with the same woman depending on if she's been exercising a lot, is on her period, if we've had sex recently, or she is freshly out of the shower, but I've never been deterred. Once my saliva mixes with her fresh juices it's all good.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Other good FREE dating sites?
Posted: 3/22/2012 2:25:43 PM
The only other functionally free site I know of is O K C u p i d. It has different features than POF, so you'd have to figure out which suits you better. I like their extensive question and answer section that lets you get a much better sense of someone than a short profile does, but you have to pay to get access to the more sophisticated search functions and there are no forums. Pics are better there, overall numbers less.

The problem is that the number of members affects your odds significantly, unless you have a special interest area and use a site that focuses on that area. I keep a profile on greensingles because of my environmental interests. In terms of what I seek the numbers may be way less but the quality is way higher on average, and although it's a pay site you can simply buy credits for a certain number of messages, not pay again until you've used up your credits, and retain full access to all the site features in between. You only pay for the first message you initiate with someone. Subsequent communication with that person is free. That works for me, as I'm selective about who I message.

There used to be a site called lavalife that worked the same way, but had so little members I found it essentially useless. I have no idea if it still exists.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Erasable Mitt Romney in 2012
Posted: 3/22/2012 2:12:10 PM
Of the various Republican candidates who have had their moment in the sun, Romney scares me the least. He reminds me a bit of Bush Sr., who essentially tread water while in office.

I'm sure he'll tweak his campaign strategy once it's time to focus on the general election. If he doesn't he won't stand a chance. Every modern candidate does. He strikes me as essentially a moderate with Republican leanings. Obama is a moderate with Democrat leanings. I don't anticipate any huge changes should Romney get elected. If that election were held today I think Obama would win, but there is ample time for either to get credit or blame for things they don't deserve between now and then.

I voted for Obama and will again. Having read "The Audacity of Hope", I've found everything he has done to be consistent with the values he laid out in his book. I don't always agree with him, and often ponder whether Hillary would have been able to accomplish more, but I'm more content with him than I would be with Romney, even if more content with Romney than his Republican competitors.

The "etch a sketch" comment is consistent with how I've viewed Romney all along. He's been walking a tight rope trying to woo enough of the radical right to get the nomination without committing to much that's all that radical. Once he gets the nomination he'll focus on the areas he diverges from Obama the most, plus whatever the polls tell him are opportunities to win key votes in key states. My state will vote for him, so neither candidate will pay any attention to our issues.

Honestly I expect this to be more of a ho hum election than the last was or the next will be. I'm sure voter turnout will reflect that.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
better than sex, chololate and alcohol? can't live without it?
Posted: 3/22/2012 9:27:25 AM
Yes, the internet is the equivalent of the cotton gin, the steam engine, the automobile of eras gone by, and we're still sorting out how powerful of an economic, social, and personal tool it can be. I expect future historians will look back on the advent of the internet as a crucial development point for our species.

Now on a personal level, of the four options, I'd rank alcohol as my lowest priority, followed by the internet. As for chocolate and sex, I've gone longer without sex than without chocolate, but if you told me I had to give up one of them for the rest of my life.....I sure hope I never am faced with that dilemma!
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Lottery winner still on food stamps.
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:05:27 PM
While y'all are fighting over fuzzy math, did anyone notice that she has now been cut off from benefits and new legislation is being pushed through to make sure this doesn't happen again?


(CNN) -- A Michigan woman who won the lottery but continued to receive food assistance from the state government has had her benefits pulled, officials said.

Amanda Clayton hit it big playing the Michigan Lottery. Like many winners, she used her $1 million prize to buy a new house.

But the Lincoln Park, Michigan, resident continued to receive money in another form -- $200 a month in state food assistance, according to CNN Detroit affiliate WDIV.

Her story made headlines, and on Thursday, the state's Department of Human Services announced that she is no longer getting the benefits.

According to Michigan law, welfare recipients must report any changes in assets or income to the agency within 10 days.

The department "relies on clients being forthcoming about their actual financial status. If they are not, and continue to accept benefits, they may face criminal investigation and be required to pay back those benefits," Director Maura Corrigan said in a statement.

She said the agency supports new legislation that would verify whether lottery winners receive state benefits.

"I thought that they would cut me off, but since they didn't, I thought, maybe, it was OK because I'm not working," Clayton, 24, told WDIV when it asked whether it was appropriate for her to receive the money.

A state lawmaker is trying to stop such assistance, which is not illegal. He says the food assistance should not go to those who have found riches through the lottery.

"We need to continue to protect our taxpayers' dollars ... and taxpayer dollars should be going to those who really do need assistance," Michigan Rep. Dale Zorn of Ida Township told HLN's Vinnie Politan on Wednesday.

In October, Clayton walked away with $1 million in the "Make Me Rich!" lottery game show. She also bought a car, WDIV reported.

After taking a lump sum and paying taxes, the unemployed woman said she ended up with just more than $500,000.

Asked if she had the right to the public assistance money, Clayton answered, "I kind of do. I have no income, and I have bills to pay. I have two houses."

Zorn said the state House has passed bills on the matter. One would require a state agency to conduct an assets test if a citizen wins more than $1,000 in lottery earnings. "That will trigger whether or not the people are eligible to receive public assistance."

The legislature has not approved any final measures.

Clayton told WDIV she had wanted to continue using a food-assistance card until it is cut off. "It's hard. I am struggling."



http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/07/us/michigan-lottery-winner/index.html?hpt=hp_bn1

So if she won in October, and already received her march money, that means she got a maximum of $1200 that she shouldn't have. In the grand scheme of things that's not much, and the article doesn't mention whether the state will try to get even that back from her.

I don't think it's right for her to have received assistance, but it seems like the loophole in the system that allowed that to happen is being fixed. Time to move on to the next 'outrage'....
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 414 (view)
 
are the gas prices killing you yet
Posted: 3/8/2012 6:19:51 AM
I don't count my Prius as an electric vehicle. It's just a highly efficient gas vehicle that stores some energy in its battery, but the source of that energy is gas. I do love it and it's been the most maintenance free vehicle I've ever owned. I've tracked every drop of fuel I've put in it and have averaged 52 mpg in over eight years and 186000 miles. You're right that honda's hybrids haven't been quite as popular or successful, but I don't believe that $5000 battery replacement cost. I know I can pick up a used Prius battery on ebay from a wrecked Prius for about $500 should I ever need it and doubt I ever will.

I agree that mass transit will play a greater role in the future, but it won't be much help in sparsely populated areas like WV. Of course one potential consequence of higher energy prices may be more people moving to more densely populated areas to shorten commutes and ease access to services.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Have Gas Prices Changed Your Search Criteria?
Posted: 3/7/2012 10:19:26 PM
Nope, just makes me all the more grateful I bought my Prius over eight years ago! Distance is always a factor, but more from a time management and practicality standpoint than due to gas expense.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 411 (view)
 
are the gas prices killing you yet
Posted: 3/7/2012 7:05:43 PM

So in WV what type of electric car will do.


Oh I don't presume that the electric cars currently on the market are ready for the majority of the driving public to make use of. They're about as useful as the radioshack TRS-80 computers were three decades ago, but look at the computers we have now.

I do know a few folks here in WV who have electric vehicles that they're quite happy with, but they're geeks who get a kick out of the technology as much as they look for reliable transportation.

My argument is to look to the future, as gas keeps getting more and more expensive and if we don't come up with an alternative we'll be facing serious shortages.

So if not gas, what? We could convert to natural gas vehicles, but doing that on a grand scale will not only require developing an extensive infrastructure to support it but quickly drive natural gas prices out of reach as well. Hydrogen faces even greater challenges.

We already have an extensive electricity infrastructure. Electric motors are simple, require little maintenance, and last much longer than internal combustion engines. We may well change how we make electricity, but we're unlikely to stop using electricity nor are we forced to keep generating it from finite fuel sources.

The remaining challenge is better battery technology, and a lot of research is going into creating just that.

So my bet is that 20 years from now electric cars will outnumber internal combustion cars on our roads. It might happen sooner.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Off-Grid Living?
Posted: 3/6/2012 4:28:14 PM
Yup, Paul, that would be the "WV" in wvwaterfall.

I know Northern AZ well. I've made eight trips to the Grand Canyon, each of them over three weeks long. A few of my profile pics were taken there last April. Yup, water is scarce, but it sure is pretty country.

As for this.....


From having exchanged emails a few times, I don't think that we are so far apart politically as you may think.


Shhhhh.....you're messing with my street cred. I've got a reputation to maintain, and so do you....
 
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