Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Anyone else growing old alone?
 capn_america
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Anyone else growing old alone?
Posted: 8/22/2012 5:52:18 AM
I've had it, with this piece of shit ****ing website.

See all you ****heads in the funny papers, I'm out.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
ahould i be alrmed if he needs to take a shower at my house before our first date?!
Posted: 8/21/2012 9:50:48 AM
im too embarassed for him to talk right now maybe the long silence will let him know how uncomfortable he has made feel

ATTABOY! Way to make a relationship work.
All this because of a shower, and without knowing anything, or without working towards, trying to find out, or whatever, ANYTHING........

Do people still see relationships in 2012 as being normal and balance? Or are examples like this not BLATANTLY obvious to anyone else?
"I dunno what's going on, but let's just pretend itm not there. Maybe it will go away".
People DESERVE to be unhappy in this day and age.....
I mean, I agree, okay, guy shouldnt ask for that, its innapropriate.
But your going to flush him just like that? That's it, because he asked that?
Good thing he didnt admit to nicking your car then...
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 71 (view)
 
What was the turning point?
Posted: 8/21/2012 9:45:43 AM

We were at a party and he shit himself....Literally!!! He was walking around with this shit stain on his shorts..I told him to go clean up and change..he looked at me and said, "No". I got in my car and left.
That was the end of that. Every time I think of that I still get so disgusted. It didn't matter that I loved him or sometimes now miss him even to this day. That was not only my turning point but my breaking point.


I understand how you feel, girl....
After all....he was...the SH*T......
 capn_america
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Religion and sex....
Posted: 8/21/2012 8:36:52 AM
The cool thing about religions is it's made for sinners, not saints. Monasteries are made for saints.


Actually, Statues are made for saints, more than monasteries. Monasteries were made for men who got scared of women, turned gay and decided to...um...."meditate amongst themselves...."

Know what all Saints have in common? Their all dead...
I'm Catholic. Pretty devout one at that. But what people don't seem to catch, is that your beliefs and views of religion have to evolve at the same time as the years.
So, I won't start stoning people who decide to get an abortion. I'm all for that and the pill if it prevents greater evil of a 13 year old kid having a kid. I think Embryo research should continue to help guys who died, like Christopher Reeves, NOT die in the future. I think a bunch of progressive stuff, and that's cool, and all christians should remmeber that whatever their views on life, we were put on here for two goals; to be happy, first and foremost, and to fight evil.
I dont see why religions of all types and shapes can't go hand in hand, and why in any way it should interfere with relationships. Only time they do is when someone let's them.....,.


I say "Oh God!" or "Jesus!" when I'm having sex!


Well HOT DAMN! A fellow Church gower! We in the same religion my friend!!! ;-)
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Jerry Springer and Transsexuals
Posted: 8/21/2012 5:44:31 AM

Jerry Springer and Transsexuals


Two things you NEVER want to meet in a dark alley....

 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 64 (view)
 
What was the turning point?
Posted: 8/20/2012 7:47:38 AM
All traumatic, numerous occasions, not the least of which is being shot at and firing back.
Needless to say, my outlook on life is much different now than it was 15 years ago. Now I cherish life and just want to live out a happy quiet one with a beautifull woman and peacefully pass away in my sleep at 95.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Anyone else growing old alone?
Posted: 8/20/2012 6:27:41 AM
LOL Haha, you must be new here...
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Anyone else growing old alone?
Posted: 8/20/2012 5:32:27 AM
With the pathetic quality of human beings in general?
Several times I've trusted a woman with my heart. Biggest mistake I ever made. The only good thing I got out of it are two beautifull kids. And I have to get on her case every week just to make sure they brush their teeth regularly. I even have to buy them soap and shampoo because mommy doesn't buy it with the money I ALREADY pay to her with child support. Prefers to drink it off...
So am I growing old alone? I haven't said yes yet (God, I can't be the ONLY decent person left on earth) but it sure as hell is starting to look likely...
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 109 (view)
 
What is the respectable ,maximum amount will you spend on a date.
Posted: 8/20/2012 5:21:29 AM
Know what makes me laugh?
When you read someone's profile, date her, and realise most of the hobbies and activities listed on her page are usually paid for by someone else's money....
 capn_america
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Not sure what all of this means
Posted: 8/15/2012 11:42:27 AM

With all these contradicting statements and advice it's really hard to keep anything in perspective except no contact is a definite


I'll try to be brief.
You seem like a nice enough, straighforward enough person. The kind of person who goes in a store, buys something and expects to get what he purchased for, without looking at the price tag.

From what I can read, her type of person is NOT like you in the least. She looks at the price tag, and says it's too expensive. Then looks to the object and says "But I WANT it!". Then turns at the price tag and says it's too expensive....
If no one drags her away, she'll spend the week there.
That's basically what seems to be her mind. I dont think she's not "into you" as much as she has ZERO idea of exactly what she wants. Give her time.
<
But honestly, I dont think it'll help much, unless SHE changes. And that takes time, usually years. She's at a place where she has no idea if she wants you, says she does, and MEANS it, and the next thinks its a bad idea. She's looking at the price, then looking at you, and if no one drags her away, this could last for years, know what I mean....
So remove part of the equation; remove yourself. Once that is done, either she comes back to the store to buy...or she'll find another store. Either way, it's better off that way. I personnally would not repeat the experience of dating someoen so indecisive, but its your call at that time.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
younger guys what do u think of girls desire for older men
Posted: 8/15/2012 9:51:21 AM
I think it's a myth perpetuated by older men to look cool...
Hell, if its true, WHERE ARE THEY! lol.

Ah, I guess I'm not "old" enough yet...
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Burden of Proof...
Posted: 8/15/2012 9:50:31 AM

What if you saw them listed somehere like "cheaterville.com"?
Or would you keep denying it until you actually caught them?


I think it all depends on trust levels with your girlfriend. If I trusted her enough and she denied, I would believe her until I caught her.
If I wouldnt trust her to wash my undees, well, probably wouldnt last so long.
Anyways, proof is easy enough to get if you know how. I'm a pretty good detective, but that's besides the point.
Just trust your instincts I guess.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Not sure what all of this means
Posted: 8/15/2012 9:48:04 AM
Either she's honest or she met someone else. Flip a coin. Liars are everywhere.

Regardless, I'd go no contact. Do you really need to add to the problems of your life by dealing with someone who doesnt know what she wants? There are more balanced people out there.

Just my opinion here son. I dated a girl like that once, and tried to "heal" her. In retrospect, I should have just walked away and never look back.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Monster Children
Posted: 8/10/2012 11:31:00 AM
I see the same thing in all the dating forums. People want to take more than they give. Men want a woman who brings home money, but still does the housework. Woman want a man who is strong and confident. But get upset when she can't have their way. Casual sex, easy divorce and online dating make it worse, because there's this expectation that the "perfect" man is out there and you just need to keep looking.

Your perfect man doesn't exist. Real men don't shrivel up and roll over whenever you expect them to. Equality only means you respect each others spheres of responsibility. The same way the government doesn't interfere in matters of religion.

When it came to disciplining the boys, my wife did her share teaching the kids good table manners and not to use foul language. But serious matters were left to me. And when I decided I needed to take one out to the garage for a father son talk, that's how it had to be. My wife expected nothing less.

If I was going to raise a child not my own, it would have to be the same way. You can't expect a man to be a man only when it suits you

My approach as well. I think the problems with single parents and "problem children" when it happens, has a lot to do with a parent trying to "assuage the guilt" he has over the break-up/divorce/seperated parents "pain" that might have been inflicted on the child, by giving him whatever he wants. Or legitimately, people who were mistreated in their own childhood and want to give their kids what they never had. But they don't hold back, which is also a problem.
If you want your child to behave normally, he needs structure and consistency. A set of rules that are in place, that he can't break, and no exceptions.
One of the problems my ex has with my kids, is that they often enoughget into arguing with her over trivial stuff. "Go to bed. NO!" that type of stuff. She gets mad at me when I tell her I dont have that problem. I tell its because when they did that to me in the past, I carried her by the shirt collar to her bed, told her to go to sleep and if I heard one word of her yelling, I would come back and tie her up to her bed and put a dirty sock in her mouth. Needless to say, she was so scared she didnt say a word.
Now that she's older, she automatically goes. The only words that come out are a beautifull smile and a "Good night dad" and a kiss. Perfect! Mission accomplished.

People need to stop trying to be friends with their kids, and start acting like their parents. As much as it IS shocking to admit, you DO have authority and the right to enforce it. If you cower in fear in front of your kid, chances are your still going to be doing it 20 years from now, wondering "what went wrong"...


If this is typical of the problems that have you describing these kids as monsters and the little girl as a whore there is something wrong with you regardless of whether the mother needs to grow a spine and take her kids in hand.



I agree with part of this view. No kid should ever get name called, kids are kids.
However, some kids are born sometimes, with what my sister says is "The devil in them". No matter what you try, they wont listen, and they will grow up causing trouble. Its a very rare thing, but it happens. I dont think I'd have the patience for children of this kind at all.
I agree that it doesnt make the kids nor the mom less than human. It does however, make them less than desirable for someone who would be considering a traditionnal "normal" relationship.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Monster Children
Posted: 8/9/2012 8:41:56 AM

capn: no, i mean LEGIT mental problems. i dated a woman who had a child that was diagnosed bi polar and i think adhd. that didnt go well. met another women who had a child with mild autism. didnt date that one.


Yeah, no, that's something ELSE entirely. Children with legit mental problems is another ballpark. They ARE rare however, compared to King Children... I don't know if I'd be able to date someone who has kids like that either.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Monster Children
Posted: 8/7/2012 6:52:48 AM

many of the children these days also have mental problems that make it all even harder.


That made me lol. I dont think the kids themselves, often enough, have the mental problems.
Yesterday I was at the corner store bying cream for my coffee. Young mother is there with her kid. Kid is yelling at her to get a popsickle. She admonishes him with a finger " no no no, that's not very nice, my sweet..."....and hands him the popsickle.
WHAT? Kid WON. That's what a lot of people don't realise. "I have trouble listenning" or "It's just a phase" or etc etc or whatever.....
People seem to forget that as parents, THEY are the boss, and their kids will become either EXACTLY what they let them be, or THEM.........
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
The Last Post You Need To Read About Attracting Men
Posted: 8/6/2012 1:50:13 PM
Im not even going to bother commenting on it except to say that I dont get it, and dont care to try.
I dont think a girl has trouble attracting men, I rather think its the other way around, especially on here, unless she looks like Roseanne Barr.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
AM I being dishonest?
Posted: 8/6/2012 1:46:36 PM
Nope. People just say mean crap.
Ignore and move on to the next.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 157 (view)
 
Quirks & habits that make me cringe!
Posted: 8/6/2012 1:38:12 PM
Most people know how I am with germs from other people so they are cool about not touching my food, but some people are clueless.
"Oh that burger looks awesome what is that chicken? " **Grabs the bun and looks at my chicken sandwich*** SERIOUSLY? WTF.
Or at a dinner, they insist on grabbing my pizza or cake for me, and touch it all over while doing so, usually after petting a dog or something.


That whole thing actually makes me laugh. And happy my folks taught me manners. Cos for me the funny part isnt the fact that men apparently do all the above, its the fact that they are ACTUALLY reaching into plates or otherwise "private properties" of ladies who at this point are basically complete strangers and thinking that that`s fine. My ex had the nasty habit of trying anything that was lying around on my plate without asking me until at one point I slapped her hand and said `Like you know....F*** OFF! I don`t play around on your plate and don`t fondle your breasts in front of everyone either, so I`d appreciate if you kept what`s yours as yours and what`s mine as mine, unless you have the politeness to ASK ME first.".
Needless to say she was insulted LOL. But I mean come ON. Where do people get the sense that it`s okay to DO these things? Ever been in high class restaurants and see a husband with his spoon fondling his wife`s crème de Brocoli to see if it`s "hot enough"?
People need to learn manners again. Slowly but surely its a dying phenomenon....


Guys who do this:
Me: "I am not interested in a relationship, we are just not compatible"
his response "can we be friends?"
Me: "sure"
him: "That's cool, And being friends first is the best way for us to begin a real relationship"
me: "No, you're not getting it.



Gwaha, that`s classic stuff too.I used to think I was single this long because I was nutz or something. No, it`s just that I`m too picky, THANK GOD! :devil:
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Monster Children
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:59:50 AM
It's monsters that I have a problem with.....I don't want to give her the 'don't call again treatment', but I don't know if the anger is going to be worth it, when I mention the problem I have with monsters? Any one else been here? What did you do?


It`s becoming the norm. Somewhere along the line a lot of people have forgotten that kids are supposed to listen to you, not the other way around.
I have two kids. Like all kids, they can be a handfull at certain times. But they KNOW, that if I raise my voice, they went too far. They know that when I tell them something, I expect it to happen in a second or else there are consequences. And once they are older, I`m hoping they will appreciate the fact that I tell them no sometimes.
I`m not their friend, and will never be. I am their father, and my job is to raise them. Good if we are friends, but that`s not my primary concern. My primary goal is to make good people out of them and make sure they have good lives, good jobs, lots of opportunities to be happy. If that means making them kneel in front of a wall on occasion, so be it.
That`s something a lot of parents have forgotten. Some of these monster kids, I`d tie up to a bed with a chain, lock the door and conveniently forget the key in a sewer somewhere...


I personally dont think i would walk away from a man because his children were misbehaving


You obviously never met children like described above,then. I`m probably the most patient person on Earth, and told myself the exact same thing you do, once. TRUST me....you can get to that point. Some kids are just plain evil. WHY? No idea. Society, upbringning, bad karma, you name it, I wondered and wondered....my conclusion was just that; that some kids are just evil.


What did I do?? I ran away as fast as I could. Dude you dont need that drama in your life. For anyone to blame the enviroment is just so wrong. What the Problem is, BAD PARENTING! Which is really sad. Its as simple as that, bad parents or should i say bad parenting.
im a single dad who took his kids away from their mother cause of bad parenting on her part. Parents in my view should put away their personal issues and PARENT their kiddo's.


Thats the story right there.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
is it real?
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:52:29 AM

have had one date on here and that was a joke, was curious if anyone has dated real people


It`s all fake. Everyone behind all the nicknames is actually 90 y old men and women. I`m the only one legit on this site
What a question.
Well, I`m sure there are some people who found love for real. I`m sure they account for about 0.001% of POF population.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What is the respectable ,maximum amount will you spend on a date.
Posted: 8/6/2012 7:50:52 AM
There`s a minimal and maximum amount?
Wasn`t aware. I spend what I feel like spending when it happens. It depends on tons of factors, namely what we decide to do and how we decide to do it. But I don`t hold myself to any number. If I feel like spending money, I do. If I don`t, I don`t.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
ignoring texting game
Posted: 8/6/2012 6:54:36 AM

How do I respond to his text now?

Burn your cellphone and tell him to call you or visit you if he's serious.
Contrary to popular opinion (GOD, people are becoming pathetic) texting someone back and forth is NOT being in a relationship. If it is, I'm going to hang myself and will officially consider myself excised from humaniy. Because they suck.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/6/2012 6:37:01 AM
Jagger is apparently immortal, but I'd bet on a girl with a higher set of morals and high self esteem that didn't sleep around to not give me an STD


Any of those left? Really?
Because, call me nuts, but I kinda enjoy the not-promiscuisness of the world...
I'm sure I'm part of a small minority of people who wont have sex in the first date, let alone the first 2 weeks or month of dating. Depends where it goes. But I have a tendency to value my partner more if the number of sexual encounters she's had is smaller than my daughter's age number. Which is ironically the same with me.


Very good assessment of the war of roses that is going on in the US between the genders


Which is a d*ck of a war, but whatever....
too much arrogance on both sides for both sides own good. Both are wrong anyways, so no one will win the war-t.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Ever had someone of the same gender come onto you?
Posted: 8/6/2012 6:31:25 AM

Ever had someone of the same gender come onto you?


ALL the freakin time..........
I guess I must be a very attractive guy for even gay men to hit on me.
But hey, I take it as a compliment, instead of being offended. Nice to know if women continue on disapointing me I got a fall back plan
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 49 (view)
 
I don't think I'm ready for this type of commitment...
Posted: 7/27/2012 1:32:38 PM

Eureka!! I found a solution to the problem that you both should be pleased with....

Let him do you doggie style from now on... that way he can have his dog and eat it too!

It's a compromise you should both be able to live with :-)

I almost forgot to mention.... you don't have to spend any money on a leash.. he can grab you by the hair from behind.


LMAO Oh God that was gratuitous....................I can't say I hate it
 capn_america
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Shallow Jerk or Honest and Decent?
Posted: 7/27/2012 1:21:46 PM
Yah, I know I quoted myself...I didn't think you saw it the first time.
And I asked a question.
Who's the shallow jerk? The one who writes the nice letter or the one
who sees nefarious plots?

Ohh...you answered...you see yourself as the shallow jerk.

Which also proves my point.

The OP answered me just fine as well.
Not sure why you're going on and on. The question was pretty simple to me.

Your right. I give up. Your right and I'm wrong, and I'm a shallow jerk who interprets nice letters as conspiracies. All is well in the world. Hope you feel good.
Have a nice weekend.
 capn_america
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Shallow Jerk or Honest and Decent?
Posted: 7/27/2012 1:01:52 PM
Your point would be interesting if we were talking high school. I can't access the OP's profile, but I'm guessing
she's not in high school and she is actually talking about adults.



Um, dudette, you just quoted yourself and commented on something you yourself wrote. That little bit up there was something YOU wrote, not me LOL. Your the one who said that.
I'm telling you that grow people in their 50, 60s or even older act like teenagers all the time.
You obviously never seen a grown up old lady with a handbag full of stuff she just stole in front of my face at the pharmacy yelling at me that she never took anything.
When I wroked there, that used to happen once a week.

or a guy I used to know, 56, who used to try and pick up women whenever he could...with his wedding band on.


He wrote her a nice letter, you interpreted it as a nefarious plot.
So who's the shallow jerk?

AND I didn't interpret it any way. I said it was POSSIBLE. I never said it WAS the case. I said I THINK I would be right. But that doesnt mean I AM. I said it was POSSIBLE.
POSSIBLE.

Should I write it again? I'm looking for the big flashing lights emoticon, because I don't think you noticed it. OP obviously has, she answered me just fine in a much more respectfull way.
And by the way, calling me a shallow jerk is acting like a teenager.
Which proves my point
 capn_america
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Shallow Jerk or Honest and Decent?
Posted: 7/27/2012 12:38:52 PM
Your point would be interesting if we were talking high school. I can't access the OP's profile, but I'm guessing
she's not in high school and she is actually talking about adults.


LOL Seriously?
And I suppose the 50% of married men pretending they are not (look itup, its public knowledge) of men on this site....are all high school students?
I'm not talking real world life here, which is usually very different. I'm talking about Internet Dating Website here. Land of the Free for all and the Meatmarket. People don't give a damn. People don't act with courtesy, and people don't, often enough (as was proved in many threads about "I met him/her and she was nothing like her pics") tell the truth. If you meet someone from work and date him/her, obviously you had the time to know them. Someone from a website is a stranger, who can basically be ANYTHING. From Little Miss Crumpet to Hannibal Lecter...
And there are VERY screwed up people in the world, who can do anything. Recent events these days point this out more sadly than I can, which means you have to be very extra special carefull on a website.
And all of a website population needs to be 18 and over. So no, adults can be VERY shallow and selfish as well, ESPECIALLY on the internet, whereas in their every day lives, they might not be.
They just hide it.


In which case, I still believe the guy was attempting to be nice and the girl friend was just thinking she was
saying what her friend wanted to hear.


Like I said, very possible. But the point is moot, as we'll never find out, like OP stated, she wont follow the friendship route.
Too bad,I would have bet 10 on me nailing it right


Crap, I got fast-posted by OP. Oh well. I still write cool, don't I? Huh, huh? ;-)
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Shallow Jerk or Honest and Decent?
Posted: 7/27/2012 11:46:12 AM

Not everyone is as desperate, disrespectful or morally elastic as you were.


Hey brother, like I said, it was another LIFETIME ago. I'm very different now, I've actually grown respectfull towards women. On the other hand, free attacks on my own character instead of the actual subject of the post kind of piss me off against men and turn me into a desperate, disrespectfull and morally elastic b*stard. So lay back will ya?

On what basis ?

On gut feeling and the position of the sun in the sky at midnight.
I still have a right to an opinion without justifying myself, right? This a free country STILL, right?

Yes you could. He might have actually been totally genuine.

Wow. A real Sherlock Holmes. I mean, it's not like I admitted I could be totally wrong, you had to point out I was probably RIGHT to say I might be completely wrong.
You know, it's very true, we don'treally take the time anymore to tell ourselves stuff that really isnt worth telling ourselves. We should do it more often.
Here I got one;"The more it snows, the more there' snow."
......
...
...
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Near our breaking point.
Posted: 7/27/2012 11:35:19 AM
Umm, has anyone else noticed how similar the "two" OP's write in the same style, phrasing and punctuation? Even the outline of their story is similar. I think we have been "trolled" with another polarized style thread in mho. lol

Iffy


Possibly. If it is, shame on them for having no life enough to write (or cut and paste) such a huge text for the simple sake of being stupid trolls.
If it is authentic, then we're helping two people. Nothing to loose, you know?
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Shallow Jerk or Honest and Decent?
Posted: 7/27/2012 11:32:46 AM

The main thing with dating is to protect yourself..emotionally..you have to play the defense a bit...just, be aware, take everything into consideration..watch for hints..watch someone's patterns..people usually "show you themselves" pretty early on..either by revealing something they've done they think is funny but is actually really jerky, how they interact with others..etc..stuff like that.


...and that's sadly something too many people forget. It's a good thing you acted that way, for your own sake. I dunno, I'd tend to stick with my own hypothesis, not because it's mine, but in light of re-reading your post again, I feel its the one that makes the most sense and is most consistent with many attitudes of people on this website. Which doesnt mean I couldnt be entirely wrong, you know?
But another lifetime ago, I swear, I couldhit ANYTHING lol. Married women, girls with boyfriends, sad, happy, lonely, desperate, whatever, you name it. Anything goes, as long as you get that cookie, you know? Not saying this in a proud way, just saying it as what it was (was part of the healing process LOL). But manipulators are usually so good, that even inteligent people will fall prey to them. I realised how I was the day I met a girl better at it than I was, you know? She took me on a boat, and I ended up sinking to the bottom. Lesson learned.
But your doing good, keeping your eyes openned is the best thing you could do.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 138 (view)
 
Friends after a break up. Is it possible?
Posted: 7/27/2012 10:57:21 AM

As far as this weekend though.....NO! I'm NOT busy! Will you wear the maid outfit?


I'll EVEN wear the frufru's this time.
Just go a little bit easier with the hip-thrusts; last time your metal studs really did a number on my bum.
But it was FUN, let's do it again...
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 136 (view)
 
Friends after a break up. Is it possible?
Posted: 7/27/2012 10:41:19 AM

Edit again to post 141: I remember when I had "hundreds" of people that I "was cool with"............ahhhhh......the memories


........at the same time?
You busy this weekend, darlin? I just want to play friends............. LOL
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
I don't think I'm ready for this type of commitment...
Posted: 7/27/2012 10:36:10 AM

Yeah but once all the kids are gone, what will you feed the dog then?


Well she's still young' plenty of time for more kids. What's 4 more after all?
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Shallow Jerk or Honest and Decent?
Posted: 7/27/2012 10:34:06 AM

"Well, at least he was nice about being a completely shallow****ead who could only feel "the grand spark" for somebody who looks like a Laker Girl. "



Actually, your friend is possibly right on the mark. Granted, I don't know the guy, and I don't know you, and etc etc. But if I was that guy, didn't want to have you as a serious girlfriend, yet still wanted the chance to f*ck you when I feel like it if I'm not getting any in the near future...then that is EXACTLY what I would write to you. And you know why? Look at the thread; MOST people think it's nice and sweet and your friend needs and attitude adjustement.
While there's a chance that most people on the thread are right, there's also a chance all of them are WRONG and that your friend is right. Which is something you might want to consider. I would suggest your friend knows you better, and how you act with men, yourgeneral level of "sensing" the opposite sex and how well your relationships work out, then us. I'd suggest maybe talking with a different friend to see if you get the same opinion.
But as an ex-player, I'm telling you, letter like that; I got you RIGHT where I want you. You didn't take him up on the friendship thing, andhe probably left it dead. But I wouldnt be surprised if he gets in contact again with you in the near future.
Take care dudette
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 132 (view)
 
Friends after a break up. Is it possible?
Posted: 7/27/2012 10:14:06 AM

so i say yeah, exes as friends are a great idea. as a man its always good to keep women around that youve had sex with before. always the opportunity for more sex later.


And THAT my friends, is the reason men stay friends with exes.
STOP! I know what your going to say, and you don't want to sai it. " But for me it ISNT that".
I'm sure there are some for which this is true. For MOST it isnt, and they probably dont even know it yet. Cudos to people for whom this is true.
But MOST people just want to keep a back-up...."plug", in their schedule...............
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Do men really care if a woman has an orgasm????
Posted: 7/27/2012 10:00:18 AM

Nice guys finish last because they make sure their women come first


LOL Actually, her getting off is what gets ME off. As suck I think it's a win/win
Although on a sad and little self pity note, I don't rmemeber how that works anymore. I hope its like riding a bike
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
I don't think I'm ready for this type of commitment...
Posted: 7/27/2012 9:58:26 AM
LOL 8 kids...
I mean I love kids, but 8?
I'd have hung myself long ago
The dog is probably to get ridof a few of the kids who get restless
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Near our breaking point.
Posted: 7/27/2012 9:56:40 AM

Well, it all comes down to needs vs wants.

Girlfriend: if you want to get married, it is your right to want to have it with someone who shares that value. You have the right to have it. But the real question is: do you want the big day, the marriage, or all the commitment the couple should be? Do you wnat it of need it? Because, what you have with your boyfriend, its pretty near the vision of a marriage: love, communication, willingness to be togheter, to share life, engagement. Even if you are not engagged in the "proper" way with the ring and everything, you seem both to be engaged toward another. You have to decide what you want the most: THE wedding or having someone who loves you, whitout the marriage. Coz you can't have both with this man.

Boyfriend: you love her, that is for sure! I can understand you are not ready to move in with her yet. At 25, I was not ready either. Why not start with weekends togheter at your place or hers, then 1 week. You will see how it goes. Coz loving someone and moving in with someone: its a do or die. The everyday life can be a deal breaker for some. And its honest from you to be real about your views on marriage. Don't do something of that importance just to please another.

Bottom line: you are still young: appreciate each other, what you share, what you have. Then, you shall see. Would he be ready to move in? Would she wants the wedding more or him more?

Good luck!


I couldnt have said it better than this.
Bottom line, for ANY relationship towork, you have to WANT it to work and be willing to stick to each other. Beyond the actual situation, we have two people posting their problems on POF and waiting for advice to SOLVE them. None of them wanting to leave each other and both of them caring enough to work towards it. THAT'S a good thing.
My advice, take a deep breath both of you, relax, and let things flow. Don't pressure yourself, don't ask yourselves so many questions, just enjoy each other and what you have. If the issue of moving together is scary, just do it part time; my sis did it with her bf for almost two years.Living together is a learning experience.
Anyways, your guys will do fine. I can tell.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Revealing your relationship goals in dating!
Posted: 7/27/2012 9:51:34 AM

All men are looking for sex. Absolutely.



I disagree.
Even though it's equivalent to shooting myself in the foot, Itsbeen so long since I've had sex, I don't even rememberhow it worked.
I THINK it involves 2 people getting naked and 9 months latter something pops in front of your door, but details are sketchy.
And, I'm the kind of guy that could walk in a bar and walk out 2 hours latter with a beautifull girl coming back to my place to get her brains screwed out (lord knows I need it right now...)
Yet, Idon't.
Basically, I got principles, and I don't want flings.
So the statement, while generally accurate, isn't true


Wanna f*ck?

lol just kidding.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 83 (view)
 
32 yr old male. Been on site over a year with no luck. Need a little help.
Posted: 7/27/2012 8:46:30 AM

I'm perfectly happy with my profile. Its called honesty and nothing misleading


Know what dude? Dont be surprised. This site is the ultimate meat market; it doesnt matter if your interesting and you have likeminded activities; if they find another guy out there with better looks that sounds richer and a better catch, even though there's like an 50-70% chance that the profile is actually one made by a fake married guy or just some obese cluck, then girls will go for it. While this is not true for ALL women, and it isnt true for MOST POF forum members (we're actually stopped hoping to get a screw in the next 15 minutes, and most POF forum people ACTUALLY mean something they say, when they say it) it's true for MANY who write up profiles on here. I been on here for over 4 years, and I have yet to get an actual date. Oh, I've set up as many as 30; all of them pretty much no-showed for X or Y reasons. I usually get as far as telephone, where I make a helluvan impact; that's when the lying usually starts. Like @I have a rendez at X time at X place@ which is oddly enough the same time we were supposed to meet up.
At this point, I dont stress. I figure, their loss. I know the type of catch I am, and my exes know it as well. It's good enough for me. I'm still busy trying to fend THEM off anyways
Anyways, bottom line is, it's basically a row of the dice, and nothing more.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Advice?
Posted: 7/27/2012 8:04:11 AM
My earlier advice still stands, Wnm2231.

You know, its fine to put your son's needs before your own. Actually, scratch that, its NOT. This is a common misconception. Because your son's needs are going to mirror YOUR needs eventually.
Right now he's just a baby, although babies are still very good at picking up the moods of the people taking care of them. As such, it wouldnt surprise me growing up that your kid feels that resentment and ends up having some animosity towards his father. Towards which you obviously arent sure how to act.
Now granted, seperation CAN be messy, but you have to think of yourself as well. And if you still keep the father in your life, visiting rights or something, like I am myself doing, and you do it in a certain way...listen, it was a mess 10 years ago, but now, ME, my ex, and MY KIDS as well all agree that this is the best decisions we could havemade, and we're very happy the way all of us are living. My daughter told me last week that she agreed that it was better that I had seperated with her mom than seeing us fight all the time for no reason. Context might be different for you, but it might end up that way. Decision is your own, but someone who cheats on me, no matter how remorsefull said partner is after the fact...I wouldnt buy it. Instant end.
Like the old saying goes "Fool me once, shameon you. Fool me twice....shame on me".
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I don't think I'm ready for this type of commitment...
Posted: 7/27/2012 7:02:07 AM

It feels like a battle between emotion and logic. Has anyone got their boyfriend/girlfriend a puppy and had a great experience with it? Did it really improve your relationship and bring you closer?


If you feel you need a puppy to improve your relationship, then probably there isnt much of a relationship to improve in the first place.
I suggest you re-evaluate it carefully.
Also, you'd risk getting fine because your NEW boyfriend ( a few months is still new) wants you to PAY to buy HIM a puppy, even though you arent allowed and risk getting caught?
Your call, but not a very hard one to make, is it................................
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is her profile fake?
Posted: 7/27/2012 6:44:26 AM

Should I think her profile is fake??



If she cant meet you then does it really matter?


Pearl of wisdom right there dude.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Advice?
Posted: 7/27/2012 6:38:41 AM

Sometimes I think I want to leave him for good, other times I just want to forget everything and move on. Has anyone else been through anything like this? What was the outcome?


Reminds me of my ex who is pregnant with her third child right now and still with a profession BS who hasnt had a job in his life and cheated on her twice as well when she was pregnant.
So I'll tell you the exact same thing that I told her (and she is STILL with the guy; people are just freakin stupid that way sometimes).
And what I told her was: " I'm surprised this relationship still existed the MINUTE you found out he cheated on you twice, regardless of the fact you were supposedly on "break"".
There.
'nuff said.
Get your act together, dudette. I'm sure you can do better.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Should you keep up with girl who ignored your text earlier?
Posted: 7/27/2012 6:23:32 AM

This is getting common


Your right, it is common, so I'll give you a common answer;
Deal with it, or flush her.
But enough threads about this particular bit.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Winning?
Posted: 7/27/2012 6:09:24 AM

This attitude of "winning" a woman or girl has always bothered me.


LOL That actually exists outside of movies? Honestly, I've never even known any people who went by that attitude. Although I don't know that many barflies or professionnal gigolos (besides myself, NATURALLY)....

I sure as hell am not the type to be assumed into any of these retarded attitudes that people have on Valentines day, like where they "think" the guy has to buy her some peice of jewelry.

Well, it probably helps propagate the fact that the attitude of winning, if it was ever big, is "passé"...

When I get jewelry or flowers from her, then I will do the same thing, but this assuming people into a role or stereotyping the guys that way is totally bs.


That being said, there is a big difference between giving a gift from the heart, and then doing it because of obligation. I am never "obligated" to anything. I find nothing wrong with giving a give to a girl with the idea of bringning a smile to her face; the gift and the price tag will depend on the girl. But I have EVERYTHING against pampering, especially if said girl wants it to be that way; I dated one princess LONG ago, and it turns out I had to burn down her kingdom.

The woman I have been seeing most recently gave me a stupid look on Valentines day when she didn't even get a card from me, let alone flowers. When I asked what her problem was, she said, "I just thought you might have gotten me some flowers." I said, "Do you remember the last time that one of us bought flowers?" She said, "No." I said, "Well, I do, it was last summer, I bought them for you, you didn't get me anything for Christmas, or Valentines day, so when you buy me some, I will buy you some." They have jobs, so get out the money and buy the guys everything you think they should buy you.

Very mature attitude dude. Does not reek of the 5 year old at all...Sorry if it sounds crude, and although there is truth in what you say, I'm sure you could have discussed this differently and with less of a mean sounding tone. This is one of those things I talk to with a girl I want to date BEFORE I actually date her. Actually its usually something you get a vide for right off the bat. That's when you decide to continue or not.
That being said, most of my exes spent WAY more buying gifts for me than I did for them, usually....not because of a lack of effort on my part, but because I completely SUCK lol. I'm so unimaginative for that kind of stuff its not even funny...
The mom of my kids way back when spent almost 200 bucks on dvds, clothes and weights when we were together one Christmas (12 years ago it WAS a lot of money). I came back with a couple books and a necklace. ALthough my price tag was a lil bit higher than hers....I still think I sucked LOL. I had less stuff. So I had to bring her out to the restaurant at Xmas that year LOL.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What do you think about this?
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:45:19 AM

IMO i don't think this is a good sign.. i think it sounds incrediably selfish


It does and it is. However...everyone can change. Just because he made that decision at 19, doesnt mean the same applies at 30. In any case, I wouldnt judge someone so quickly without knowing the circumstances. I'm seperated from my ex with which I had 2 kids, and I was 22 back then. I considered doing this myself. Personnally I couldnt, but it wasnt by THAT much of a far margin.
Yet I still consider myself to be a decent person. I dont think this guy should be considered anything less.
Also, it depends on where you want this relationship to go; if were talking long term objective of starting a family, perhaps this is something you want to have in-depths discussions on.
If the goal is just short term satisfaction and loose companionship, I dont think this would be much of an issue.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Friends after a break up. Is it possible?
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:56:36 AM


I can "get" why people can't be friends with exes,


LOl I can't be friends with exes. I seperated from my ex and we have two kids together. We have a, let's say a good working relationship, but to call it friendship would be an exageration.
And we shouldnt confuse, in any case, actual friendship with just "comfortable enough to hang out". Some of my exes we split on horribly bad terms, and I would never want to see them again. Others I'm on good terms with...but I simply have no interest in gettng back to them, either because we dont share similar interests, or because past experiences tell me I wouldnt be able to be myself with said person because of shared history.
All this without any kind of animosity. So I understand how Abmccray can say that he doesnt get it; I dont get how someone CAN remain friends with an ex, and pretend like none of the 1, 3, 6 months or 1, 2, 6 years of history never happenned, or that that history makes you closer somehow lol. Really, I don't, I never understood that, I'm not sure if I ever will.
We're all different bro, some of us just don't think that exact same way.
And that's fine dude, it's what makes us unique.
I'm not sure about the numbers tho, but I'd venture that the people who can actually manage to pull a relationship of friendship with their exes, is FAR inferior to the number of people who can't, for whatever reasons. So such friendships are indeed possible, but I think more the exception than the rule.
 
Show ALL Forums