I'm seperated three years, should I just lie about it already? chat & forums.

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Thread: I'm seperated three years, should I just lie about it already?

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

I'm seperated three years, should I just lie about it already? Posted: 5/26/2009 3:58:56 PM
I know that in any relationship, there are two people in it (or trying to get out of it) and neither is to blame for all problems. But, in many relationships, one of the people IS responsible for a whole lot of the stuff and the other person is a nice person. Once that person is divorced and out on the market, they will not last long before being snapped up. If you date separated people, because so many others are hesitant/reluctant/totally anti dating them you greatly increase your chances of getting a good one before someone else snaps them up. (You also run the risk of getting eaten alive by a monster, too.) I say tell the truth but work on the way you tell them. I know that on a profile you have to give your status....it may be that you have to use another venue, in addition to the internet, until you can be truthful in saying you are single.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Girls, truth, and control Posted: 5/13/2009 12:28:44 PM
lol...if someone has a potty mouth and you want to talk to them about it...aren't you just begging for trouble?

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Things that women don't realize. Posted: 5/13/2009 12:24:21 PM
buzzy9876, you gave us a joke: What is the difference between your job and your marriage? After ten years, your job still sucks. Your joke would be a lot funnier if you wrote: What is the difference between your job and your WIFE? After ten years, your job still sucks. And one last note. Your joke, in its orignal form, is inaccurate. After ten years, many marriages still suck.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

coming out Posted: 3/4/2009 9:46:35 PM
Good lord, brother. If you are as close to your family as you say, you are either one phenomenal faker or they already know you are gay. They are probably making all those remarks just to call you out!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

How do I deal with drunks? Posted: 3/3/2009 7:41:39 AM
Is there something you are doing to attract such people?

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Advice needed: She says she can't get over her perfect ex Posted: 3/3/2009 7:31:42 AM
You can't talk someone into loving you.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Help!! Posted: 3/3/2009 7:30:35 AM
All I can say is that when I am doing two things at once, the thing I really want to be doing gets the attention and the other thing is just a distraction. When you are talking with him and he's distracted, whatever else he is doing is more important to him at the moment. Pick another moment to talk to him or...consider that maybe there is no moment when you are more important to him.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

on a date in the nightclub and he talks to another women Posted: 3/2/2009 3:47:08 PM
1. Meeting someone at a bar, even prearranged, is not a date. You are still a free agent. 2. I didn't realize a pinch on the butt was the international sign for "come on" or I'd use it, trust me. 3. A pinch on the butt to communicate to someone to "come on" MIGHT not fall that far out of the realm of being "trailer park". 4. You already left the bar but happened to go back in...doesn't that kinda settle the cab question? 5. You had no intention of hooking up with each other. That doesn't mean he had no intention of hooking up at all. 6. I bet he got a ride that night, don't worry.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

End game in the selection proccess? Posted: 2/27/2009 7:45:01 AM
I assume that by a certain age people have enough experience and intellect to figure some things out about themselves and others. If not, I am probably not dating that person. Also, by that age, I'm assuming a woman does not assume that if she has sex with a man he is going to marry her or that it means they are going steady or they are exclusive or however you want to term it. Knowing that, as any intelligent woman of a certain age does, if she chooses to have sex without a commitment, then I assume she is good with doing that and it is what makes her happy. Are we to say that unless we are willing to commit, we shouldn't have sex? What if you commit, then have the sex and it's not that good...are you stuck or can you break it off then? Isn't that disingenuous? I'm not saying I'm an advocate of "test driving", I'm just saying that sex is a major issue of compatibility that one would do well to consider before considering making a commitment. Then, if one makes a commitment, it can be with full knowledge and then doesn't that commitment stand a far better chance of being adhered to? If a woman is still thinking like a high school girl, well, again, we are probably not dating. I hope not anyway. :)

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 124 (view)

Instant Magic - anyone else find it? Posted: 2/26/2009 6:10:11 PM
Instant magic? It's easy to find... Just go to San Antonio, go to the Rivercenter Mall on the Alamo entrance side... There's this little shop that sells magic tricks...the actual trick is only $5...To learn how to use it is $25... Instant magic... Oh, wait... You meant in a relationship...it's pretty similar...its an illusion, too...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Have a good life in a breakup e-mail Posted: 2/26/2009 12:52:49 PM
You know, it's really hard to say. What I question is the yellow smiley face. Is it always sincere? Nobody could genuinely be that cheerful all the time. Sometimes I swear it is being snarky.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Are women so much better at spotting matches? Posted: 2/26/2009 12:48:12 PM
I think that women choose the men with such infrequency that, when they do, it does take on a certain amount of import. The woman is a little more vested in whether it will turn out to be a good match, i.e, confirmation that she makes good choices, and so she takes steps to assure that it is deemed a good match and that she was correct in her selection of a man. This is so closely tied to human beings' need to be right.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Breakfast as a first date! Posted: 2/26/2009 12:45:11 PM
I only buy breakfast after the first date, not as the first date.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Most romantic gesture ever.... Posted: 2/26/2009 12:26:55 PM
We were in my truck and had just pulled into a parking lot so she could get out and get into her car. I turned the radio down to say goodbye. She reached over, turned the radio back up, and started kissing me. We kissed for about 5 minutes then she turned the radio down said goodbye and hopped out!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Silent Sex Posted: 2/26/2009 12:12:51 PM
Just put some good music on and turn the volume up really loud, if they want some noise. But, seriously, you said they say they can see you responding in ways other than vocal, so the music along with the expressions might be enough for them. Or maybe the loud music will give you some "cover" so that you can experiment with becoming more vocal.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

sending someone one of the roses you are allowed to send each 30 days Posted: 2/26/2009 12:07:16 PM
You know, you might want to think twice about doing that, though, this voluntary de-flowering of oneself. I know when I see a profile and a woman is de-flowered, the delicate sensibilities I inherited from my grandmother get all bent and I just can't help but think the woman is now damaged goods.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

My parents having sex.... Posted: 2/24/2009 11:38:54 AM
R-ish, are these words familiar to you: "Can these questions actually get any friggin stupider???" Taken straight from your History. Some posters are derogatory, some are hypocritcal, some are both.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

My parents having sex.... Posted: 2/24/2009 9:53:49 AM
Renaissance-ish, you wrote, "Just a note to the few A holes in here that seem to make judgmental comments about the topics people post in here ... if you dont like it then pi*s off and find something you are interested in" Sir, if you are trying to censor what others write here, then aren't you doing exactly the same thing as those you are criticizing. So, then, should you be taking your own advice, too? P.S. To answer the question in your profile, delete your profile and start a new one and this time be more careful when you are giving your age, or the year of your birth, whatever it asks for.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Give it to me...no, really, I mean it... Posted: 2/21/2009 3:54:08 PM
Recently updated my profile... Appreciate the brutally honest critiques... As well as the flattery...(should there be any) lol So, I need at least 200 characters to add this post...in order to maintian the highest quality messages...hahaha

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

The new normal?????? Posted: 8/25/2008 11:01:02 PM
Hey RM1950: Your paradigm is full of shift. Not you personally of course but your thought process... How can you define a FWB situation to look exactly like dating? And not want to call it dating? What's wrong with calling it dating? From a previous post: " to the dating paradigm that rings true to me, the one that some call FWB, with real feelings and real care and concern, real time spent together, and, oh yeah, sex, which to most people I know in the real world is the main difference between dating and friendship." This comes from your profile: #4: That she understands the difference between a relationship and friendship. To me, they are very different, and the friendship that develops in a relationship, is a consequence of the romantic connection. For me, romantic love never comes from “friendship first”. Having a dating situation masquerade as FWB doesn't make it FWB. So, therefore, your paradigm is full of shift...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Where is it Posted: 7/29/2008 8:14:32 PM
ok, others have described its location... take your other hand and press down just behind her pubic bone... Can't do that? Use your chin... Once she succeeds, slow down, don't remove anything, rest, take a breath, begin again...repeat...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Women and feet ? I dare you to check this out ! Posted: 3/13/2008 12:51:02 PM
So when men are not looking us in the eyes, they are probably looking at our feet? Yes, that's the ticket... Of course that's what we're looking at...what else could it be???

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

an easy way to purge bad memories Posted: 3/11/2008 6:18:51 PM
If I am not mistaken, there are already many varieties of that pill out there. Are you sure you are quoting from the same article I read? Here's the link: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43210-2004Oct18.html

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

an easy way to purge bad memories Posted: 3/11/2008 6:00:12 PM
Here's another twist on the trauma issue: Would you take the pill to help you deal with the emotional issue associated with the bad event? In other words, you do NOT lose the memory of the event but the emotional aspect is in some way "reduced" allowing you to deal more effectively with the issue... BTW, this is a quote from the original articel..."the research has suggested only that the emotional effects of memories may be blunted, not that the memories themselves are erased." I can think of several cases where this would be really helpful...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

True happiness Posted: 2/27/2008 7:52:18 AM
Adding to the discussion... These are NOT original thoughts by me but rather from Dennis Prager and his book, Happiness is a Serious Problem... (which is fantastic, btw) 1. We have a moral obligation to be happy. To your friends, your family and your SO. They are not the cause of your happiness. But they can be the cause of your unhappiness. If you are unhappy, you make everyone miserable. 2. Happiness is a decision. Happiness is a choice. You choose to be happy. Just like you can choose to remain sad. Acting happy leads to feeling happy. 3. Expectations lead to unhappiness. What is better? A gift received which was expected? Or a gift which was a surprise? Goals are good. Expectations lead to unfulfilled hopes/dreams. I don't NEED someone to make me happy. I want someone to SHARE my happiness.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

thanks in advance for the review Posted: 2/22/2008 12:24:56 PM
No worries... As for the one girl who said...an isolated incident doesn't disprove the theory. And hey, its just my opinion as well... In addition, I just looked. The photos are much better. Lose the 1st sentence. Most everyone on POF is looking for the right one. No matter whether they say dating, friends or LTR... Its redundant... It will also throw red flags up for you when you disclose what we both know you have to disclose. Capice? It is a process. Keep hackin and slashin. Work in some humor. I know its there because of the single ply comment. This is not the place for serious. This is best foot forward...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

thanks in advance for the review Posted: 2/22/2008 12:10:25 PM
I took a look at your profile and it's pretty funny, sure, but doesn't say much about you. Doesn't have to... It drives home the point that I'm fun, have a sense of humor, I'm different, I'm original and you will not be bored... Then those who read have an option: 1) find out if the rest of me is "good enough" or 2) or not... 'Cause if they don't like what I have shown them, its best they just keep on goin... Back to you: Better. Trim the interests. You have 5 things that say virtually the same things. Computers, etc. Cats and Dogs. What can't make up your mind? jk Say small animals or pets. CONUS? yeah, i know what it means. Will most women? 1st date: why not just say "hey, lets do something completely different. Let's go fly a kite, for real..." or something like that. The rest of it is just normal, nice guy, not very different, not very attractive stuff. Make sense???

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

thanks in advance for the review Posted: 2/22/2008 12:01:53 PM
Depends on what YOU want... I read it as if you are actually attempting to attract someone you might like to get to know... What are "coffee dates" for? What are 1st dates for? For that matter what is the email exchange and phone conversations for? To find out more about the other person to see if there exists a reason to go forward...or not. Do a test... Keep it like it is and do whatever it is you do, contact women, whatever. Then change it and see if there is a difference. I have $20 ready to say it will be dramatic... Arrogance is not attractive. (photo with shirt off falls into the category.) Self-deprecating humor is good. I can't tell you WHAT to write, it must be you. But you certainly can package things differently to be more attractive and still be you... Good Luck!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

thanks in advance for the review Posted: 2/22/2008 11:35:22 AM
Way. Too. Long. Way. Too. Much. Information. Way. Too. Desperate.... Lots of issues here: State you are single then spend a paragraph telling how you're not "single" really. Women will not respond positively to this info. Whether its on your profile or not. No one wants to be the rebound girl... KISS... No, its not for stupid. Its for super simple. Make it that way and keep it that way. The quote about your photos and how good looking you are? wtf? Girls can't make that determination themselves? Sounds really arrogant. I couldn't even read the whole thing because its boring... You say you like to fish, right? The profile is YOUR bait. Use it wisely to attract what you want. Good Luck!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Scientists' row over G spot nears a climax Posted: 2/22/2008 10:12:32 AM
Well if that was an option, I think the men's profile should read "Knows how to find a women's g-spot" ........Seems to me like they'd be the men getting all the mail I think I'll run a test... a) see if anyone notices and b) what sort of response it elicit's...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Wanting HIS nipples sucked?? Posted: 2/21/2008 8:30:28 PM
gf that enjoyed inducing pain to them playfully so it's a reflex for me to jerk away... jldude, you're making it WAY too easy... She did: nipple play He Said: jerk away

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Wanting HIS nipples sucked?? Posted: 2/21/2008 7:35:39 PM
I'm just a male lesbian! Suck away!!!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Inviting a Guy to Join My Partner and I Posted: 2/20/2008 2:30:41 PM
I suggest reading Penthouse Forum... Seems to be lots of letters with this scenario... At least, that's what I've heard...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

I am geeting nowhere on POF..I would like some feedback Posted: 2/20/2008 10:48:09 AM
First the disclaimer: I am not a gal... Now the advice: Forget what the women have told you about your profile... Seriously. Its about attraction, not pedigree. You stated at least 3 times you were an addiction counselor. Who cares? You don't do that anymore. You even mention something about personality types. Great you're smart. But it is attractive? You say you're funny and give a little line about "Don Knotts" and then you point out how you created it... I'm thinking wtf? Humor is humor, funny is funny, doesn't matter who gets credit. Want to show your funny side? Write your profile with humor built all through it. I read your profile and think boring. If you aren't getting the results you want, look at the packaging. The POF profile is nothing more than a marketing piece about you. It should only give sufficient info as to bring curiosity into the mix. The details are for discussions. Such as the 50/50 stuff. The conversing over "all manner of things". You don't need to say "my friends say", cause unless they are actually saying, its cheap and doesn't add anything... Don't say you're funny, be funny, don't say your attractive, that's what photos are for... Tell a story that shows who you are or what you want. It sounds like you are attracting SOME women, but what are you doing with it... 10 dates in 4-5 months is not so bad... If NONE of them get to a real 1st date or a 2nd date, maybe a little introspection is in order. Is it a real date or a real interview? If you are asking lots of questions, you could improve your skills. As an analyst, formerly, its about eliciting responses from open ended conversational style information gathering, right? Same here, social dynamics. Good luck!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

As men, its our job to let women know ... Posted: 2/19/2008 7:57:14 AM
if they have to ask then your doing it wrong Hunter has it exactly right... In addition, I'm just a tad skeptical of the women on here stating just tell them you are hitting on them... That's "nice guy" stuff which gets you stuck in "friend zone". In spite of what you gals are saying, you still like the "bad boy" image. Someone who challenges you instead of the a$$ kisser. It turns your attraction button on...and you ALL have one!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Clean freaks leave it outside the bedroom door please ~ Posted: 2/19/2008 7:38:34 AM
Well, OP, if you're takin a poll, I don't feel squeamish about being "dirty"... It's the first step towards not having sex, if you ask me... Here's the sequence: Not in the morning because "I'm not clean"... Have to get up to clean up - immediately... (ooh, how I detest this!) (please spare me the hygiene reasons, ok? I understand it in some cases doesn't mean I gotta like it when you come back all clean AND dressed...) Not with clean sheets... Not now, I just got dressed... Not now, I just got home... Not now, I just put my pj's on... Not now... Not...ever... And, yeah, Andy was formerly married...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 185 (view)

The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously! Posted: 2/17/2008 12:30:46 PM
^^^^^^^^ Way TOO funny! Thanks!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

What makes you want to date a woman continuously? Posted: 2/16/2008 2:14:50 PM
Do we have fun together? If we are laughing and having a good time, I would like to see someone again. If not, then most likely, not. The "worst" date I ever went was an agonizing dinner discussion of her ex. Argh! When will the check ever get here! The "best" date I ever had was totally spent laughing and playing. Wouldn't you want to go out with someone again if YOU had fun???

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

The elusive big o! Posted: 2/16/2008 2:07:51 PM
Hey Nut, There are a variety of responses here so you'll have to sort out which to use and what works best for you. I DO have an opinion though. Girls were a mystery to me physically until I read "she comes first". Two parts to this book. 1st is the anatomy lesson. I suspect you will learn more about yourself from this section than all the other books combined on whats going on down there... 2nd is the "how to" . Even though the author's intention is to teach guys how to give orally, it works magic manually as well. Since this book, let's just say everyone is happy... Good Luck!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Is your old trigger working? I think mine is broken! Posted: 2/16/2008 8:51:37 AM
Well, SunRay, here's what I have to say about that: I'm just barely eligible for this forum but I can tell you that some women in my age group, not all by any means, just some, seem ready for the retirement right now. I feel young at heart and want my date to feel the same way. So, keep it up, girl!!!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 92 (view)

What really excites your date after 45 Posted: 2/15/2008 2:24:51 PM
I don't describe my car I sneak up and look in the window if that doesn't work I get a waitress give her my camera phone and have her take a picture and compare it with the one that I saw..if everything is then ok....I have coffee.... Something I need to add to my list!!!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed. Posted: 2/15/2008 10:30:28 AM
Ok... Let me get this straight. You aren't being pleased by the man in your life because its not the style you prefer. You want to tell him "his" style isn't suitable for maximum enjoyment for you. And you're worried about scaring the hell out of him... Is this the gist? I read your profile, well, the 1st part. Says you're a writer. Write an erotic story with you as the main character and him as the secondary character. Tell him its a fantasy. Gauge his reaction. THEN ask him if he would like to play it out. If he turns up his nose, you know he's not the guy for you. If, on other hand, he is immediately stimulated by the thought... You just never know...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

What really excites your date after 45 Posted: 2/15/2008 7:24:31 AM
Here's the deal... I feel like I'm still 16, maybe 21, so I would like to find out if this gal is young at heart also. Some of my "best" 1st dates were at game places. You know, arcades, air hockey, pool, etc. We play, laugh, tell stories, be competitive, really get to know each other. Whether we are a good match or not, whether we go on a 2nd date or not, we BOTH have fun. Its a mindset. I've had the coffee shop 1st meets also. Girls tend to feel safer in this environment.

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 99 (view)

why do men get the bame for being bad inbed! Posted: 2/14/2008 2:43:25 PM
What exaxctly does a woman do during sex majority of the time? The answer is nothing? Were the ones doing all the work. Boy have you been with the wrong women In fact I only had sex with one partner. Oh. LOL

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 98 (view)

why do men get the bame for being bad inbed! Posted: 2/14/2008 2:33:48 PM
"Get it up - get it in - get it off, get it out" LMAO Otherwise known as the Four Get's!!!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

We have never so much as kissed and its driving me crazy!!! Posted: 2/14/2008 1:00:04 PM
ROTFLMAO!! Yeah, but Cowboy, she obviously needed some help.... OP - You will not be acting if indeed you want a kiss, right??? Imagine it, feel it, then communicate it with your eyes... I KNOW you can do this! And you better report back...

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

We have never so much as kissed and its driving me crazy!!! Posted: 2/14/2008 12:29:38 PM
I have a much different suggestion... You wish to know if 1) he has the ball$ to be a man and kiss you and 2) if he will take the initiative without you being the aggressor, yes? Tell him sometime before you go camping not to get any big ideas. You do not kiss on the first campout... Plant the seed of desire in his mind with a takeaway. Then do the following at the campout. Try this (BTW, it ALWAYS works!). Give him a good strong wiff of your pheremones. Get real close to him, almost touching but not quite. Your a woman, you know how to do this... Look into his eyes with desire... Put your face right into his AS IF you were going to kiss him. Your lips are so close... Your nose is touching his... Inhale... Don't let him kiss you... Then back away... He WILL want to kiss you. He will NEED to kiss you. Do it again. His lips will seek yours out... Promise

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Men not making plans or attempting to make plans on Valentine's Day? Posted: 2/14/2008 12:00:39 PM
umm......if you want to have V.D. with your guy.................call him and tell him you would really like to see him tonight. No disrespect to my brutha "Cowboy" and his really good post regarding the 12 year old inside of us but if I haven't been dating the women, exclusively for 6-12 months, there is no Valentines Day. At least on MY initiative. If on the other hand, she wishes to see me, ok... Rain states it very simply. Don't wonder, don't fret about it. Act! Happy Valentines Day POF'ers!

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 121 (view)

foreplay Posted: 2/12/2008 8:44:32 PM
We're simple creatures. We'd fall for that line. You ARE my brutha from another mutha... I must be the city version with short hair! Andy

andy_stitzer

Joined: 1/17/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Review my profile, be honest please Posted: 2/12/2008 8:40:43 PM
I think you'll like the response much better... You could maybe be a little more specific than female with an iq over 80. Don't you know what you like or have desire??? C'mon, any lady, even 65 is ok??? You know that's not true. Just a little more effort... It reads much better. More fun, more personality, more original AND still you. Keep your emails short and sweet too. Always remember the tease... Good luck!

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