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Thread: Oh....My....Gawd!

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Oh....My....Gawd! Posted: 1/10/2008 10:05:27 AM
The mind boggles it really does!!! There is nothing at all funny about this posting or the one about the stalker and I am amazed that people find it unbelievable or think it is a joke. A possible stalker? Not only a definite stalker but also one with some serious mental issues. Alarmed? It would be absolutely terrifying! What is it in this posting that can be considered to be a joke? Because what man would move to another state after meeting a girl once? There are people that will move anywhere to be near someone they have a fixation on and without ever having talked to them let alone met them.

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 81 (view)

Oh....My....Gawd! Posted: 1/9/2008 5:58:21 PM
This post is something that everyone should read before considering going on a date with someone. I came across a post tonight which suggested that married and taken people and those looking to hang out or friendship should be banned from POF. What a totally inane posting taken in comparison to content of the post I have just read. It is something I have already come across and actually think it would be a good idea if there was a way of making it possible. Rather than banning someone because of their personal relationship status surely it should be that there are individuals, such as the one this woman had the misfortune to come into contact with that should be banned. I imagine it would be almost impossible to do because there would be nothing to stop them from reregistering with a different profile and doing exactly the same as they had done before. However, there is something to be said about there being somewhere someone could be reported to because of their conduct that could then be monitored and to be fair it would not be reasonable to ban someone on just one persons say so but if it were the case that several people made the same comments that actions could be taken and even if at that time it is something that prevents just one person falling foul of this individual it would be worth it. What's more, the fact that there are many other dating sites and that they could even re-register on the same site again, the chances are that person would no doubt only behave in exactly the same way as they had before and if reported in much the same manner as before they would end up getting banned once again. The question in my mind right now is whether this man has been reported for his actions if this is where he met this woman? It is really frightening to think that even though a restraining order could be put in place against this man having any contact with this woman, there is nothing to stop him from doing what he did to someone else on here!!!

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 199 (view)

Online Dating Guide for Men: Part Deux Posted: 1/9/2008 10:45:45 AM
I am actually laughing out loud at the moment. I have never been to this site before and I have just posted a couple of messages and then seen the date the original message was posted. Sure feel like a dumbass right now!

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 192 (view)

I do NOT want to be your friend! Posted: 12/22/2007 7:15:11 PM
The lady does not feel it is a real date unless the guy pays????? Well if that is the case she would no doubt be more than willing to make the vow to honour and obey too. At a time when women were expected to honour and obey it was also expected that a man would pay when he took a lady out! I see absolutely nothing wrong in going dutch when meeting someone on a date and the dates I have been on have never been any less of a date because we have split the bill and to be honest I have never gone on a date expecting that the guy would pay. I'm sorry but in this day and age I think it is a ridiculous thing for a woman to say. I am by no means a femanist and love having doors opened for me and being treated like a lady and I love a man to be a man. If two people met and dated and the relatioship developed into something more it would be unreasonable to expect the man to keep on paying for everything surely? If you started living with someone it is surely something that when it comes to household bills etc that both salaries would be taken into account. If one earned a lot more than the other then it would be something that would automatically be taken into account and be proportionate to what each person earned at the very least. If someone suprised me and had decided to whisk me off for a romantic weekend in Rome then it would be a totallly different scenario because it might well be that he could afford to do that but it wouldn't be something I would be able to afford to do . I leave it at that! x

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 191 (view)

I do NOT want to be your friend! Posted: 12/22/2007 6:25:59 PM
You are quite right! What's good for the goose is good for the gander. When it comes to relationships the same rules have to apply to both men and women. You have made a good point. How can you be friends with someone who has basically rejected you? You can remain friendly with someone by all means but it does not stretch to still going out with one another. You can remain friendly in the sense that if you see each other out somewhere you can still say hello to one another. If there is any man out there who has a woman who just wants to be his friend and nothing else that when they go expects him to pick up the tab should be kicked straight to the kerb because she would definitely be a user. Friends are friends and you would never go out with a friend expecting them to always pick up the tab.

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

POF liar or not? Posted: 12/22/2007 6:03:56 PM
Hi you have mentioned about naming players. It is something I have been thinking about recently and it is just a shame there isn't a way to stop these people causing the grief they do. On every site you can report offensive or inappropriate behaviour, perhaps there should be another section that someone could report on relaying their experience with someone who was a player. It wouldn't even have to visible to anyone on the site. However, if a person received several reports along the same line, i.e, obviously a player their membership could be terminated. That is obviously putting in very simple terms but something along those lines. Of course they would just go and join another site and are no doubt already on more than one site anyway. I still think it is a good idea though because even if it avoided one person from getting caught up with a player it is better than nothing. If every site did the same thing, it wouldn't matter if they changed their name because they would soon be caught out again.

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 134 (view)

My ex is on POF!!! Posted: 12/21/2007 9:51:00 PM
You have certainly had a lot of response to your predicament. A lot of different answers too from both male and females. It is a difficult one because there is a part of me that would hate to see this guy doing to other women what he has done to you and as you have found out something he has done t o other women on more than one ocassion . From your post I have little doubt that it would only be something you would do with the best of intentions. I would be sorely tempted to say something to this woman without going into details as such but you will have to accept that it might not be appreciated and as some of the posts have said end up being labelled as a bitter ex! However, if you did and even if you were labelled as a bitter ex there will surely come a time when he will no doubt do the same to her that he has done to you and also others before and she will remember the message you sent to her. It's a real toughie this one but as a woman I think I would appreciate someone suggesting a bit of caution based on their personal experience. I would like to think that I would be able to see whether it was genuine or not. To be honest I cannot really say either way whether it would be something I would or would not do until I found myself in your situatoin. Plenty of thoughts but no answers I'm afraid.

Joined: 1/19/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

a common situation, with a answer i cannot find. Posted: 3/9/2007 2:28:40 PM
Hey Hun! At the end of the day there is only one peson who can decide what to do!!! That's You! You have asked a question and all any of us can do is give you our opinion! We can only tell you what we think about the situation. It would not matter what anyone said, what advice anyone gave you or even if anyone told you what you should do, at the end of the day you have to decide what to do for yourself! Some very valid points have been made, one in particular! Be careful of becoming an emotional crutch! She is obviously not over her ex - that is for sure. She is not going to be able to move on until that actually becomes the case. Whilst there seems to be a good connection between you, the fact that you have only met just the once is something of a worry. To be totally honest with you, with no disrespect to her whatsoever, looking from where all of us are sitting, it would appear that she is avoiding seeing you! I cannot help but think that she is very far from over he ex-boyfriend and no matter what she has said about them never getting back together, there is a part of her that still thinks it might be possible, if that is the case, it is why she is keeping you at arms length. If she did ever get back with her ex it would hardly look good if she had been seen to be dating anyone else. I say that, not because it would be something that he might have a problem with but, because it might be something she thinks about in her own mind. I don't know quite how to explain it but it is almost like she wants him to know that she has not been able to get over him, so much so that she couldn't even date anyone else. It could even be that she would tell him that she did go on a date with someone but nothing came of it other than friendship because she was still in love with him. There are so many if's, buts any maybe's about the whole situation. What really matters is what YOU think of the situation YOU are in at the moment and how it makes YOU feel! x x x

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