With anyone, really, displays of emotion are going to be a risk. Even with friends.

i recently meet someone and I think she was a bit put off that i could show my emotions, ...

I've had people tell me that they thought I was an arrogant **stard the first time they saw me. They changed their mind after getting to know me better. Confidence and arrogance can easily be confused for one another

You can't SEE a person's depth and soul, so you haven't a clue whether or not they have any!

....... can't just say hey I had fun, but I don't really feel any connection, etc.

One group of women want a guy that's going to coddle her when she's sad and be the sponge that just absorbs all her negativity. Others want a guy to be macho to the point of insensitivity and callousness, so THEY can be the doormats, and have something to **** and moan about.

why is it that you lose yourself when it comes to women?

why is it that you lose yourself when it comes to women? Being a door mat and doing whatever the girl wants is not attractive! Being a yes dear, no dear kinda guy is not attractive! Be a man! Speak your thoughts.

What ever happened to the Alpha Male?

Also, do they talk about his mom?

I imagine that his father was coping with so many different things when mom left and the child wasn't falling apart,

I'm new to dating after a long marriage;

There are people who ARE emotionally unavailable. I ended my last relationship because the man was not showing any signs of affection..no kissing, touching, hugging, etc. I have no idea if he couldn't or just chose not to...it's hard for the one doing the ending. I'll never know if didn't want me or did but couldn't show it. No closure for me...I'll be forever wondering.

I'll never know if didn't want me or did but couldn't show it.

The answer, for me, was twofold: first I had to face and feel the pain... not theorize, intellectualize, understand, gain insight to... or any of the other methods... but go down into the pit of being abandoned and feel it.

Why is it so hard to meet someone that is good hearted and attractive???

There's a fine line between being a "nice guy" that has no luck with women and just being a regular guy with a nice heart. A lot of guys' problem is that they play a perceived role and never stop to be themselves. As a result, they get left out in the rain because they're trying to be something they're not, and women pick up on that, or simply aren't interested in the game they're playing with themselves.

Attractive people are cursed from the start in most cases. They grow up receiving more attention, getting vain compliments thrown at them and having lots of unwanted and undeserved attention lavished on them. As a result, you get girls that don't understand what it means to put others first or how to have proper etiquette, and you get guys that are narrow-minded and have no boundaries. For those few of beautiful people that do grow up to have an equally beautiful character, I've found in my experience that many of them have some sort of emotional or mental issue that has kept them at a distance from others. Hence, I get a lot of unwanted drama. There's a small percentage of people that have exceptional character to match their beautiful physical selves, and to that I think they owe most credit for those that have supported and taught them as they grew up.

Friends, family, especially your parents, are important in becoming a better person, especially when the world throws lies and snake oil at you when you're barely old enough to understand why. I'd like to think if I found a girl like that, that one of the first things I'd do would be to thank her parents and friends for helping her along the way.

There's a fine line between being a "nice guy" that has no luck with women and just being a regular guy with a nice heart.

Actually, when he contacted me I was determined not to respond and the only reason I did was to make a sarcastic remark about the missing rose.

I couldn't be any happier when I found that special person here, but it almost didn't come to pass because of a POF rose???

When a relationship ends, both partners experience turmoil and loss, but the one who is left feeling abandoned bears the brunt of the pain. Why does it hurt so much when someone leaves us?

Loving and wanting someone who does not love us back engenders a deep personal wound. Rejection hits a raw nerve whose root begins in childhood. It arouses our abandonment issues. Abandonment is primal fear, the first fear that each of us experience as an infant. It is the fear that we will be left, literally abandoned, with no one to care for us. Abandonment's wound is cumulative. It contains all of our losses, disconnections and disappointments from early on, the death of a parent, a teenage breakup, being out-shown by a sibling, these experiences make us more susceptible to heartbreak when we are abandoned as adults.

The abandonment wound, stored deep within the limbic brain, is easily triggered. You feel its raw nerve twinge when you fail to get recognition at work, a friend forgets to invite you to a party, or a date you thought was special did not call back. When being left is the trigger, core abandonment fears erupt. Stress hormones course through our bodies, compelling even the strongest among us to feel desperate and dependent. However self-sufficient we think we are, we suddenly feel we can’t live without him/her.
Being left also kicks up our control issues. The breakup wasn't our choice. Someone else cast us into this aloneness by choosing not to be with us. We feel at loss of our personal power to compel another person's love. "I must be unlovable and unworthy for him to discard me like that." Abandonment is similar to other types of bereavement, but its grief is complicated by rejection and betrayal. We turn the rage against ourselves, accounting for the severe depression that accompanies heartbreak. When we blame the breakup on our supposed inadequacies, we abandon ourselves. We automatically think to ourselves, “There must be something wrong with me that makes me not worth keeping.”

We emerge not only disconnected from self-love, but with a heightened fear of abandonment. If one person can discard us, we fear others will do the same to us in the future. Rather than dissipate, this fear tends to incubate. Its insecurity burrows deep within us where it sabotages our relationships. The fear of being left makes it more difficult to let go. The rejection creates nagging conflict; closure remains incomplete. We feel unjustly dismissed and we long for an opportunity to vindicate the hurt. We are left alone to grapple with the broken pieces. Mixed with our rage is a desire for our ex to come back to take away the hurt and rejection.

The paradox of abandonment is the tendency to idealize the abandoner. He or she emerges in our imaginations as a powerful figure. We assume she must be very special to have caused this much torment simply by being absent. The intense craving is confusing to our limbic brain. Stress hormones course through our bodies, causing a heightened response to anything related to our ex for a long time. An important thing to understand is there are five universal stages that accompany the loss of love: Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting. As we make our way through these stages of grief and recovery, we build self-esteem, resolve fear and self-doubt and restore the spirit.

The Five Stages of Abandonment are: 1. Shattering: Severing of love-connection, devastation, shattering of hopes and dreams. The emotions are shock, panic, despair, feeling you can't live without your love. 2. Withdrawal: You're in painful withdrawal of love-loss, as intense as heroin withdrawal. The emotions are yearning, craving, obsessing, longing for your ex's return. 3. Internalizing: As you try to making sense of the rejection, you doubt and blame yourself. Idealizing the abandoner at your own expense, narcissistic injury sets in and fear incubates. 4. Rage: Reversing the rejection and having retaliatory feelings. Displacing anger on friends who don't understand or are critical of the abandoner leads to more unhealthy action. 5. Lifting: Rising out despair, life begins to distract you. You begin to open to love again and all its possibilities. You “SWIRL” through all the stages over and over until you emerge out the end of the tunnel a changed person capable of greater life and love than before.

But since most people in general are somewhat brainless,

Can a pretty girl have brains too?

If all that was accomplished was sexual attraction,then sex will be the only outcome. Then there's the issue of what to do with the other 23 hours.

When people are in love or speak of carnal affairs, many are giddy or couples that are love behave like teenagers.

...then I found out it was one week before we met that she took her own life.

I am getting older and want to settle down soon myself.

Take care of yourself and let my brother and my dad take care of the funeral arrangements......So dont make much sense to me if they were married.

His wife killed herself in their own bedroom int he bed and I went with him to the Police Dept. an

I guess for those who cannot move from point A to B, those stuck will experience the out-of-control blow-ups that Phoenix described.

Why Are Women's Brains A Wee Bit Smaller?

they all want to date brad pitt, or models.

To others does it seem that some woman enjoy being pursued to the extent that men lose interest?

is being thin an issue

when is it ok to let your heart go

They are so busy trying to prove that they are independent and smart and strong

I'm absolutely astounded at the number of people who are critical of a teenager for not being able to be perfectly composed while trying to improvise an answer while in front of millions of people,

Oh good grief! 3 pages on a lapse in manners!

Seems to me, a slightly clueless guy who needs a little instruction in some of the finer points of manners

…effing perfection, optimum health, at least ONE PhD, and a 6 figure income, 6'4", full head of hair and athletic build. He should have a stable full of purebred Arabian horses, a garage full of classic cars,

Well my question is, if an ex gets upset and such to see that there ex is moving on (or atleast attempting too) how can you tell if she is jealous or upset about it?

Sorry Freude I did the seach...I was gonna say the great minds thing but you got me beat all to heck in the smarts department!

Came across below article:

Excuse: Men tend to compartmentalize their feelings.

If I share myself physically, I am emotionally hooked. However, men can just walk away. It doesn’t bother them as much.

Fact: Men may be more reluctant to commit, but when they do, they commit deeply. Statistically, it is women who do more of the breaking up, letting go, and moving on. It takes men longer to get over it. Research studies state that men suffer more from the breakup.

Recent observations have made me think about this.

I'd just like to ask you guys about your experiences with breakups - do you think there is any truth in the assertion, "It takes men longer......"?

Just a little on the clueless side.

She should have let him know that her standards dictate that acquaintances and new/casual friends should call first, and actually SPEAK to her( not just leave a "hey I'm coming over!"

Integrity, pride, honesty, respect....You teach them, not school

Too many parent's toss their children's education and knowledge onto the schools and they fail to realise that half of what a person learns is at home...