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 Author Thread: Any bias if a person doesn't own a car
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Any bias if a person doesn't own a car
Posted: 3/4/2012 9:05:25 PM

It depends on the reasons... If he is irresponsible with money or lost his licence due to DUI, I might not consider him... but if he lives downtown and just has better things to do with his $, I would date him.


I feel the same way. I do not have a car (and boy, do I miss it!), but I live right on the subway line and I cannot justify the expense to myself since I live at such a convenient location. I certainly wouldn't hold it against someone if they felt the same way, although they would have to live somewhat nearby for me to seriously date them...I don't want to travel on transit 90 minutes each way to see someone all the time.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Asking for rent money after 2 weeks? Am i in the wrong?
Posted: 3/1/2012 3:17:31 PM

The OP is the one in dire need of learning a lesson here. You do not loan/give people money in hopes that they will like you better. if he HONESTLY was doing these things to be a good guy then how ever she treats him after that is meaningless. He was not doing it to be nice. Point blank.... he paid her bill and expected that she would fawn over him in appreciation. That is UNETHICAL. When she did not fawn over him he had a hissy fit and took the money back. he did not stand up and take the money back by telling her. He secretly took the money back. Tell me, how does him loaning her 200 pounds translate into her having to be romantically interested in him?


I agree that the OP has a history of spending far too much money on women, although I believe that it stems from poor self-esteem rather that the belief that he is purchasing a romantic partner. Many men throw money at women because they don't really believe that they have enough to offer them as a person, and they compensate with cash. And certain women will take advantage of these insecurities, and it is very unfortunate. But I disagree that any gift should be given selflessly and without expectation if behavior supports the idea that the recipient is using someone for financial gain. In this instance, the lady did not even have the wherewithal to be polite to the OP after the rent was paid. And her behavior, as portrayed by the OP was downright rude.

That being said, she might have lost interest as soon as he paid her rent because she no longer respected him. She may have perceived him as weak due to his payment, and she could have lost interest immediately. If that were the case, the fact that the OP rescinded his offer may trigger her to pursue him again. But the OP hasn't posted in some time now, so I guess we'll never know.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Asking for rent money after 2 weeks? Am i in the wrong?
Posted: 2/29/2012 10:13:38 PM
You know, I really feel for the OP because paying the rent is exactly the sort of thing I would have done ten years ago. And I would be sorely tempted to do it again, if I was dating someone that seemed genuine and needed help. But this girl turned cold as soon as her rent was paid, and if she was able to put a deposit on a dog and can therefore assume all of the financial responsibilities of having a pet, she definitely could have paid her own rent.

I'm really shocked that so many of you aren't thrilled that he got his money back. She needs to learn that she can't treat people like crap. And for all those that think her situation was genuine and it was merely a coincidence that she dumped him a couple of days after he paid her rent, maybe someone can tell me why she didn't offer to return the money when she dumped him, since she knew that he forked over a lot of money for her benefit. Any person with a shred of integrity would have offered to return the money as soon as possible and make repayment arrangements with the person ASAP. I, for one, am delighted that he got his money back. She used him, plain and simple. If he had done nothing, that woman would have continued to try to dupe other men into paying her bills and then kicking them to the curb. Maybe this way she'll learn a lesson.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
no replies!! aaarrrgggghhhh
Posted: 2/18/2012 8:50:09 PM
twelfth_dimension, you're my hero!
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Alcohol
Posted: 2/11/2012 8:42:04 AM

There is no correlation between alcohol consumption/habits and alcoholism. An alcoholic can have one drink an hour, one drink a day, one drink a month or a year and still be an alcoholic. Heavy drinking can be unhealthy to the body but does not absolutely denote an alcoholic.


Really. So, a person can have nothing more than a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve every year, and in your mind they can be an alcoholic? If alcoholism isn't somehow related to alcohol intake, why is it called alcoholism? Why not test babies for it at birth then? If you don't need to drink to be an alcoholic, wow, so many people out there must be "functioning" alcoholics and not even know it, since they've never had a drink! All those ten year old kids wandering around as alcoholics and they don't even know it...how will we get them all into treatment?!

Sounds like you're one of those people that scream alcoholic at the first hint of a****ail being consumed. Bet you're lots of fun at parties.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
post op
Posted: 1/20/2012 6:57:00 PM
Based on many of the opinions expressed here, I think it is perfectly obvious why someone who is transgendered would hide the fact that they've had surgeries. No one wants to be defined by their past or by the person they might have been before. Sounds like typical homophobia to me. Why can't someone be judged based on what they've become, not who they were?
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/18/2012 11:16:02 AM
Hey, great suggestions everyone! My problem is that I seldom remember to take photos when I'm out doing things, but it doesn't mean that my friends don't have photos of me that I haven't seen. I'll have to ask around...it's a great suggestion! And okay, I'll take out the picture of my dog and the reference to her being the love of my life, lol.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help! I'll make the changes you've suggested and let you know how it goes. :)
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 31 (view)
 
post op
Posted: 1/18/2012 10:56:06 AM
I really don't think there's anything wrong with it either. She was honest enough to tell you upfront, and she sounds like she is now comfortable in her body and enjoying the life she probably spent most of her life wanting. If you're still a little weirded out, maybe talk to her some more about her experiences. Talking about it should de-mystify the process and make you feel more comfortable. Conversely, if you're unable to shake the feeling of discomfort after talking to her about it, tell her honestly and then move on .
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
No idea what I'm doing wrong...
Posted: 1/17/2012 7:47:27 PM
Hey all,

Okay, so I've got a profile that I THOUGHT was pretty good. I mean, good grief, I had a friend help me with it, and then I made the stupid mistake of paying $40 for the Match.com people to fix it up for me! But I really don't get many responses, and I refuse to believe that it's because I'm a hideous monster. But maybe I am...I'm not sure. All I know is that I am not getting any decent responses and I'm not sure what else I can do. Any thoughts would be appreciated! And please be brutally honest.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 83 (view)
 
special delivery
Posted: 1/16/2012 6:14:14 PM
Maybe she read this thread, lol!
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 725 (view)
 
Name the number one thing keeping you single..
Posted: 1/15/2012 8:23:19 PM
I don't feel like I have anything to offer anyone. Which category does that fall under?
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 61 (view)
 
special delivery
Posted: 1/14/2012 7:34:11 PM

Like I said before, a true gift comes with NO expectations of payment in any form.


How is acknowledgement the same as repayment? How is he supposed to know that she even received them? You must be quite the martyr if you walk around handing things to people and then not even wait to know if the gifts were received or welcomed. He didn't give her a kidney, and she's not a registered charity, so I don't know what makes you think there's something wrong with wanting to know how your gift is received.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 51 (view)
 
special delivery
Posted: 1/14/2012 6:56:14 PM

How do you know she wasn't ignoring him? If it was an unwelcomed gift then it is not a gift.


That's ridiculous. Did you ever get a gift from someone that you weren't expecting? Does that make it unwelcome? How on earth would you know that it is not a "welcomed gift" if no one ever tried to give you one? You're really overreacting here...it's some flowers. He didn't send her his severed pinky finger--he sent her some flowers. No matter the situation, any gracious person would say thank you. If she then instructed him not to send her anything else or not to contact her and he STILL went ahead and ignored her wishes...that would be a different situation. But he went on a good date with her and thought he'd do something to brighten her day. There is no reason to believe that she couldn't thank him, even if it was by email or text. The chick sounds spoiled and rude. Too bad he wasted his money.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
special delivery
Posted: 1/14/2012 2:43:22 PM
She WASN'T ignoring his advances. They had just gone out on a date the night before.
 goldilocks013
Joined: 10/18/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
special delivery
Posted: 1/14/2012 2:34:45 PM
I'm really surprised that everyone thinks that this gesture was over the top! I mean, okay, two dozen is a LOT of roses. And I have no idea what the card said...the OP could have written something really inappropriate. But I'd friggin' LOVE to get roses after a date! I think it was a really nice thing to do! And, as long as he's sure that she actually received them, he has every right to expect an acknowledgement of some kind, sheesh! The chick sounds downright rude and ungrateful. Basic manners dictate that if someone gives you a gift, you say thank you. Even if it's "thank you, but I don't want to see you any more", the guy deserves to hear it from her after going to so much effort and expense to do something nice for her. It's broads like her that give the rest of us a bad name.
 
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