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 Author Thread: A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 127 (view)
 
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:07:22 AM

Unfortunately this is no longer the case in this brave new world of our modern workplace. As numerous posters have already pointed out, all one has to do is to 'feel uncomfortable' in order for the one who caused you such great offence, regardless of whether it was intentional or not, to be require the gravest punishment. The offence doesn't even have to be actually directed at you for it to be actionable.

Oh I know, I just don't agree with the way the modern workplace is. At the rate we're going people are going to spend eight hours a day just refusing to say anything for fear of being reported for having a personality.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Sleep over's
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:55:08 PM
It's not like you're locked in the place while he's at work. Do what you want during the day and get back around the time he gets home from work. If you just don't want to stay there at all, then don't.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 124 (view)
 
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:46:47 PM
I would pull him aside and warn them that he is to keep personal conversations like that off of company property, and if you have an office dating policy, remind him of it. Beyond that, it's none of your business. It really bugs me that a man I work with can be flirting with me and bring up something vaguely sexual (which I have no problem with), and somebody else can complain and have him written up for sexual harassment. Women in general need to stop being such bloody pansies about everything that makes them remotely uncomfortable. Women at work have ****fests about men all the time, complaining about how all men are pigs and think with their little heads and on and on and on, but I guarantee you if a man started saying similar things every woman would have him written up for sexist comments.

In short, personal conversations are personal. That doesn't mean those conversations have to be had in a deserted air-locked room in order to be considered private. If I am having a reasonably quiet conversation specifically with another person at my desk, your ears are not invited to it, and I don't think you should be able to hold anything you hear against me.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
I think my teen daughter is gay..
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:24:58 AM

Every parent has every right to know what their child is doing online.
Ask any parent who's child has been harmed by an internet predator how trusting them worked out.

OP....just keep on keeping an eye on her doings....
and don't mention what u have seen.
You don't say how old she is....but if she is of the "dating" age....you're opportunity is with the normal "sex" talks one has with their children whether it be boys or girls.

I think if you don't trust your kids to be on the computer, then don't let them on the computer. At the very least inform them that you are keeping such strong track of them. It's just rude and disrespectful of their privacy (and a bad example to set for them to boot) to make them think you trust them, but actually sneak around to find out what they're doing.

She is very probably just curious. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the next thing she started looking at was male gay porn. If she actually is gay, you can either bring it up with her during the regular sex talk, or wait for her to come to you. There's not really a wrong way to handle her telling you, aside from freaking out and dousing her in holy water.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Fear of Date Rape.....
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:09:42 AM
I've had a couple of women tell me that they view every man as a potential rapist. While technically true, that's just downright bleak. If you're going to look at life like that, you may as well consider every person in the world your potential murderer and become a hermit. I'm always aware that a man could hurt me - but I don't assume they will.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How do you deal with being stereotyped?
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:47:15 AM
You can't get past a person's stereotype about you unless they are open to the idea - and usually people who have stereotypes in the first place aren't. I am 20 years old and have visible piercings - which basically means I have no idea what I am talking about and am not allowed to have an opinion on anything until I am 31. Just avoid the people who are stereotyping you, because changing their minds is nearly impossible and not even worth the effort if you do manage it.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
body type
Posted: 10/15/2009 11:32:35 AM
The only thing I think should be changed is the BBW/Big&Tall description. One, it's the only category that feels the need to remind you they can be beautiful, which is just annoying, and two, tall is redundant because there's already a height description - and a lot of big men are just short. The whole category should just be renamed to plus-sized or large or something like that.

Putting precise weights or making people follow the BMI isn't going to work, either - muscle to fat ratio means that the BMI is utterly useless for a lot of people. Plus, as usual, people will lie.
 snarfblatt
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/13/2009 3:10:31 AM
Sigh. Yeah, I'm pretty much done talking about this. If you think saying "it looks like my junior high web design projects" is being a know-it-all, well Christ, screw this. As for the entitlement, again, so what? Everybody feels entitled to not use something they don't like the look of. Most people wouldn't wear a free shirt they hate the look of if they can afford to pay for one that looks better, EVEN IF they function exactly the same way.

I'm calling it coding just because... that's what we've always called it. Call it something else if you want to. And I don't really know another way to say "we didn't use a software package". I went to a tech school, half our day was spent in the computer lab. And even if we did use a software package, I don't see how that means we can't make suggestions in a forum that is here to make suggestions.

Believe me, I would love it if people would learn. In fact, I think some might learn if the tags were placed for them and they'd go "Oh, that's how you do it". God knows the same people who can't place tags also suck at Googling how to place tags.

Did I say it will get implemented? I merely made a couple of suggestions, you're the one who got your panties in a knot over it. If they don't implement them, they don't, it's not like I'm the one I was suggesting them for. And pardon me if I'm old-fashioned - I've always thought that the wishes of customers should at the very least be considered if not used, even if it costs some income. I think leaving the site largely the same is a bit lazy. But if it does stay the same, whatever - I just think it could be better.

There you go, preview feature. Good idea.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:14:54 PM
I have looked at it from both sides - admittedly, a drop down menu for links would cut out some clicks, but they could still be organized in a better way that doesn't compromise that. That's the only feature I suggested that I could see having a negative effect on clicks.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:40:01 PM
Did I not say cleaning the site up would be a good idea? I don't want it to look like myspace or facebook, both of which I actually really don't like. Facebook is annoying to use. I have mainly suggested decluttering the place and making it easier to use in a couple of spots, like with formatting tags (you can't deny that a huge amount of people don't have the first clue how to use them) - all of those things would be better by many people's standards, and as people my age do use the site, considering our opinions wouldn't suck. It's not like I'm suggesting moving everything all over the place and turning into a facebook replica. Are you saying that something like dropdown links and buttons to insert formatting tags wouldn't be logical, or would confuse the average user?

Are you saying that none of the companies on that list have any sort of a customer base? Because any company with a customer base needs to cater to customers on at least a basic level.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:18:47 PM
If it was just the picture that looked a little different, it wouldn't be an immediate dealbreaker for me... as long as I still found them attractive, it wouldn't matter to me that the picture was a couple years old. Lying about age or marital status, no. Beyond the obvious moral problems there, that's just stupid. It's something that is guaranteed to be found out and at the very least shows that somebody is too stupid to come up with a decent lie, and that's just not intelligent enough for my standards. If you're going to lie to me, do it properly. It should be a good enough lie that even while I'm standing there being furious, I'm still thinking "Hey, that was a good one."
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Why This Holy Terror of I Love You?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:13:12 PM

I actually say it a lot. I say it to my kids, I say it to my friends, male and female.

Why ???

Because that is how I feel.

It doesn't mean I expect anything. And, I think, herein lies the whole entire problem.

She/he said they love me so :

>do I now have to reciprocate ???
>do I have to marry her ???
>what does it mean ???

At the end of the day, people have forgotten how to love and be loved without expectation.
That's is right there, reciprocation. I've been told "I love you" before and I was genuinely delighted, but I didn't say it back. To me, that's perfectly alright, and I'd like the same treatment in return. I'd rather get a thank you and a happy kiss in response than a fake "I love you too". If people would just stop overthinking the damn phrase so much, it wouldn't be such a problem. Bottom line: If it's true, tell them. If it's not, don't. If they don't say they love you too, the world isn't going to blow up.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/12/2009 1:57:21 PM
And to add to that, please tell me exactly how many companies you have ever heard of that don't cater to the whims of their customers? No, we don't actually pay out of pocket for the site, but it is our continued visits that make advertising here worthwhile. It just seems ridiculous to me to suggest that just because it works, it should be left entirely alone. It's such a weird "well just because you want it I'm going to say no" stance. Can you even tell me what it would hurt to update the site? In all seriousness, would it lose users? At worst, it would be a little time invested with little to no results, but I think negative results would be unlikely.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/12/2009 1:48:45 PM
Oh yes, how dare somebody use a site that is around to be... used. And how dare they want it to be easier. For shame. Exactly why does it matter if she feels entitled? Or if she's a software developer? She, and everybody else who is or potentially could be on this site, is a user. You could be a software developer, and it wouldn't matter to the situation... so I don't get your point. And I can tell you that she, I, and thousands of other people our age started learning how to build websites at least in junior high, and some earlier. No, we couldn't build absolutely perfect sites - I couldn't tell you how to build a forum from scratch, not anymore, it's been so long since I've done stuff like that - but anything we could build would be functional. Although once again, it doesn't matter, because we are talking about making a site better for its users.

I was talking about coding in the sense of text formatting coding, which I'm sure you knew. Actually, people like me and my sister know how to use format tags on our own, seeing as how we've been doing it since the third grade - I was saying that having the buttons would make it easier for people who don't know how to use them at, and would simply be slightly more convenient for those who do know how to use them. Congratulations, you know how to nest tags - lots of people don't.

Ha, that's funny, a "mere user". Users tend to be the entire point of a site. I think it's ridiculous to tell somebody to make their own site when all they are doing is attempting to make a perfectly good one better. I've suggested several ways that, like I said, would make this site easier to use for people who don't have a lot of internet experience, and simply more convenient for those of us that do.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:34:35 AM
I'm pretty positive I already responded to this... hmm. Odd. The gist of my response was that this site doesn't really have very good functionality a lot of the time. I've had to go around in circles looking for certain categories. Updates that could make this site much easier to use are things like dropdown menus for the links, so that when you click on Mail/Profile you would have a dropdown with things like Inbox, Sent Messages, View Profile and so on; having a row of small buttons on top of the reply box with buttons that automatically insert the code for Bold, Italics, Quote, etc. for people who don't know how to use them (and most people don't know how to nest coding at all); having it so when you click Reply on a post, it automatically quotes the text for you (people tend to expect this, and in large threads half the time it's impossible to tell who somebody was trying to reply to) - and then have a general reply box at the bottom of the page if people are just responding to the original post. Things like these are basic features on the majority of websites and for a place with this many forums, you'd think they'd have them by now. It would make it much easier for new users to figure out where things are. After all, a rising number of users doesn't mean a damn thing if they don't like using the site.

As for the "flash and glitz", I'm not talking about plastering the website in glitter. I just think little things like changing the color scheme would help - this horrible shade of powdery blue reminds me of sick babies (and no, I don't know why). It's dated. There are five different colors of font in a row at the top of this page, which looks tacky. The emoticons could easily be in a pop up box, or at least more organized. Even a different font. I don't really see what the big fight is against spending a day, tops, adjusting the look of the site.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Hickeys? What do you think?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:38:27 AM
I guess it could be a territorial thing - but I know when I give them it's mostly because I just needed something to bite and he was right there.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:23:53 AM

For people who whine and complain about the lackluster look of POF ... they've certainly been here for awhile. I guess FREE does trounce the look and feel of a site.
The reason I mentioned it is because while it doesn't bother me, within the next five years or so POF will probably be getting a large dose of internet savvy users who grew up with shiny, properly functional websites. This site looks choppy to me, but I can live with it because I remember when all sites used to look like this. My younger sister, who is only 5 years younger than me, sees me on here and comes out with "And what the hell is this thing supposed to be? It's like a baby website." To people like her, who have grown up with sleek, modern, up-to-date sites to use and don't even remember not having the internet, the look of the site will matter greatly to whether they use it or not. She'd be downright embarrassed to be caught using this site, and not because it's internet dating - because it looks sloppy. It's the same way that I wouldn't look twice at a brochure for a free service in person if it looked like it had been typed up on plain white paper in Times typeface.

It only makes sense to put in minimal work to update the place when the entire next generation of users is going to look at it and go "Oh please, I'll pay for something that's been modernized in the last decade, thanks, and then I might actually get results."
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Hickeys? What do you think?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:00:52 AM
I love getting them as long as I don't have to spend weeks on end finding creative ways to wear scarves and turtlenecks.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 120 (view)
 
FANTASY RAPE
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:59:27 AM

There needs to be a new law where the woman signs a waiver if anything goes wrong and she cannot accuse of rape. I doubt it though. The laws are ****ed up as it is.
It would be nice to protect men from the chance of a false rape charge, but the problem with this is that fantasy rape can turn into actual rape - all that has to happen is for a man to ignore the safe word and not stop when she feels is necessary. Which is why you can't just sign a waiver before hand and have everything be okay.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:45:09 PM
Very few people are fully straight or gay - most fall in between. I can't remember exactly how the Kinsey scale is numbered or which end is which, but say it goes from 1-7, 1 being straight and 7 being gay. Most people, when answering questions honestly, would fall in the 2-6 range, and the more central you get, the more likely you are to kick over to the other side after a bad experience. It's not necessarily a permanent switch, either. As somebody else said, I'd consider it an... excising of options, I think it was. The more off-center you are on the scale, the more likely you are to identify yourself as gay or straight, but obviously somebody on the 7 end of the scale could identify themselves as straight purely out of denial, while another 7 would gladly tell everybody and their dog they were gay. Another example, I could put myself at a three and call myself bisexual, but another 3 (although admitting they find the same sex attractive) could firmly identify as straight. Anyway, the point is that people don't really "turn gay" - the underlying attraction is always there, it's just the choice to act on it that occurs.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What are good ways to meet people if you've missed out on dating in college / school ?
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:31:12 PM
Well, the cooking class is a good place to start. For the most part, any sort of group or club where you know you'll meet people with the same interests as you. If you are interested in theater (not being in it, but watching it), some dinner theaters will seat single tickets at the same tables with the intention of giving you somebody to talk to, especially if it's a smaller place.

And for the love of god, don't stand in the women's self help section to meet women. That's just asking for trouble.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Perfumes, my boyfriend bought it and now there's an issue
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:39:16 PM
Try putting a spraying a small bit in your hair... it should hold the scent nicely. Also, your lower back, and right behind your ears (I mean right in the crease behind your ear). In that spot, he'll be able to smell it easily and chances are he's not going to fold your ear forward and lick.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
How long to keep it in My Pants?
Posted: 10/8/2009 2:26:02 PM


How is this accomplished, and why aren't you marketing these "extension exercies" to the masses?

You see, this is the problem with men. Even well endowed (and most "over endowed") men want a longer, more girthy, penis. I don't get it. Just be happy with what you have. There is someone out there for everyone. If I was the OP I'd be shattered and messed up, too, but please, get over it and continue on your search.

Feel free to google jelqing.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Over the line? Was there a line?
Posted: 10/8/2009 1:35:26 AM
You were pretty tactless in asking, but it seems kind of obvious what the truthful answer to the question was anyways. I don't think I'd ever ask during a texting conversation, especially not when we barely know each other - but at some point, yes, I'd ask, because I think the reasoning behind a marriage breaking up is important.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Does anyone actively work on the PoF site?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:30:18 AM

Here's an idea, if you think you can do it better, make your own site....just a thought

The site is free, better than the paying sites, and simple to use, and I would think that the search criteria is specific enough that you should end up with matches close to what you are looking for.

Just my $.02

Free, yes, but it looks like my junior high web design projects. It could be so much more professional looking with pretty minimal work. Even just organizing the cluttered links would make it look cleaner.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
unable tp msg some user?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:27:09 AM
I'm having trouble sending messages too... I reply to somebody, the "message sent" thing comes up, but the sent message isn't in my folder and the message in my inbox doesn't say it's been replied to.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Does it matter if he can dance?
Posted: 9/29/2009 5:42:34 AM
It doesn't matter to me even slightly, but then, I have about six left feet and have been known to trip over them several times a day. Him being able to dance might actually be a downside, if he expected me to go dancing with him.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
is havinga little acne a big turn off?
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:03:05 AM
A little? No. If I have to worry about popping seven when I put my hand on your cheek, yes.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 285 (view)
 
The shaving craze
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:32:58 AM

women should start growing back there hair, and stop trying to look like pre teens, its really a sick fetish


Oh yes, trying to look like preteens, that's what we're doing. Any guy trying to tell me to grow a bigger bush will be told to grow a bigger *cough*. I suppose you like women who don't shave their armpits or legs as well, then?

It's about cleanliness and smoothness. Hair traps scent, and that's not even considering menstruation. And I'd rather touch something soft and smooth than tangly and rough.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Biting/Slapping/Etc.
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:52:44 PM
I think they're referred to as kinky in a joking way by some (ie. me) who don't really think of it as out of the norm, but I do think a lot of people don't realize how many people do "kinky" things, and that's why they refer to it as such. If you asked my grandmother if bondage is popular, she would give a firm no. I'm sure people have always had rough sex, but I think that people are just more open about talking about their sex lives now, and I'm not talking about among friends. I mean, look at us here - hundreds of random strangers giving advice on blow jobs.

And I have to say that mothers that think their daughters tell them everything are suffering from wishful thinking. Every mother wants to think that she has an open rapport going with her daughter and that she feels totally comfortable talking about anything. Well, news flash, you don't. There is always a line. If you could sit on the private conversations we have with our friends, you'd realize just how much of the story you're not getting. Sure, there might be one or two rare mother/daughter relationships where literally everything is told, right down to a blow-by-blow account of the moans and the dirty talk and the brand of bondage tape used and exactly what size anal plug she uses, but I really doubt those one or two are posting in this thread.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Have you ever risked it when the pic just didn't do it for you?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:48:23 PM
I have, because I know that a lot of people just photograph badly - hell, I'm one of them. I hate being in pictures because they always turn out like crap. So I've done it a few times, and every time it turned out that I wasn't attracted at all, even though I tried to be.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:43:56 PM
Enough that I don't have to cover his expenses. It's one thing for me to cover the dinner bill on occasion - completely different if it's every time, he's constantly eating out of my fridge or borrowing a 20. If he has enough money left over after all of his bills and expenses to go out a couple of times or put money into savings for himself, I'm good.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What hobbies are turn-offs?
Posted: 9/24/2009 11:55:11 AM
Unless you're skinning cats for fun, I can't think of any hobbies that would send me running. It's more if it consumes all your time that it bugs me. My ex would come home from work and spend five hours playing World of Warcraft. That was not okay.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:31:56 PM
1) My name is not sweetie.
2) Once again, you recommend counseling for people who watch porn, yet somebody telling you you need counseling for control issues grates the wrong way?
3) If you're going to go off about "bashing", you're bashing half the planet's values by calling them cheaters, under your criteria. Therefore, counseling? Besides that, you don't need to know somebody to know they have a skewed view of the world. To use a popular example, I've never met Hitler, and yet I feel pretty comfortable judging him. Anticipating your hypersensitive reaction, no, I'm not comparing you specifically to Hitler.

Let's not pretend we're ever going to agree on a definition of cheating. I actually do respect your viewpoint - if you think that's cheating, that's your own problem, and you're the one who's going to have to find a man who agrees with that. Of course if it takes away from the marriage it's a problem - there is a point when it becomes an addiction. But you're saying that watching porn = addiction, and that's just not true. This is a genuine question - has it ever occurred to you that you might actually be overreacting? I mean, your first response to somebody disagreeing with you is to yell "BASHER!!!" You seem to have a bit of a hair trigger response to, well, everybody that disagrees with you.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:24:20 PM
Blokey, well we all have differernt perspectives, but others on these forums keep telling me mine are wrong and theirs are right. Whatever.

Why the hatred? Because people keep attacking me, making fun of my mother and how she raised me, mocking my beliefs, and telling me I need a shrink which I sure as hell don't.

I respect people who respect me. Some on here don't deserve my respect at all given their bad behaviours.
So you can recommend counseling for people who watch porn, but somebody tells you the same and oh no?

You consider some absolutely ludicrous things cheating (talking?!), things that apply to most of the people on the planet. If you're going to basically tell the majority of the population that they are cheaters, expect people to roll their eyes at you.

Were you ever cheated on? Using the actual, accepted worldwide definition of cheating.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 78 (view)
 
what makes women feel insecure about themselves?
Posted: 9/23/2009 10:21:28 AM
I hate it when people blame the media for everything. Yeah, a woman might have seen hundreds of images of skinny women being shown as the ideal figure... and then she started starving herself to be skinnier. But the point is, she fell for it. Which, yes, sounds very insensitive, but that's what happens. Just because media says "this is beautiful, that is beautiful" doesn't mean anybody has to listen. And of course we all "fall for it" to a certain point - otherwise, everybody would roll out of bed and go out in their pyjamas.

I do sometimes feel insecure about the way I look, but not in a lasting way. It's more of an "I woke up with three pimples and I got no sleep and WHY do I suddenly have a cowlick?!" sort of way. My real insecurities stem from my personality and accomplishments, because those are the things that I feel actually count for something.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:12:12 AM
I am of of this trend, that every time a guy post something about guy thing, someone would jump and claims that woman does it too. Sure, we know there some very small percentage of women who do some guy stuff some times. But why some women feel the urge to compete with men in EVERY area, even some shady fields.

Porn is guy things like buying shoes for oneself is girl thing.

There are too many PC police on this forum. There you go, porn is a guy thing, simple and easy. There is no explanation required.

Pfft, small percentage. Almost every woman I know watches porn. Even the ones that deny it (amazing what you can find by accident in people's search histories). Sometimes we recommend sites to each other. I got porn as a birthday present from a friend last year. I hate PC too, but like it or not, A LOT of women like porn, we're just better at hiding it.



The OP's behaviour is cheating, plain and simple. He has a wife he doesn't need to be looking at skanks. If he had any love or respect for his wife, he wouldn't be doing that. His behaviour is selfish.

Yikes! Red flag, Red flag. Control freak with a BIG self-esteem problem!
I'm pretty sure this is also the person who considers talking to single members of the opposite sex cheating. I seriously don't understand how viewing porn on a purely recreational basis can be considered cheating. I love my boyfriend, I love having sex with him, but that doesn't mean I want to get into a whole session for a quick fix.

OP, it's very likely just the fact that you were hiding it. That's the only time I'd get worried about a man watching porn. I mean, he doesn't have to show me the videos or anything, but if he goes to the effort of password protecting folders on his computer and clearing the browser history constantly, I'm going to be pissed.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why do men turn rude if you dont reply to a message?
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:14:04 PM
Just ignore those men. To be fair, they have probably been harshly rejected by more than a couple of women on here already and are just jumping the gun now when you don't respond, but I don't think that's an excuse. If I'm in a particularly bad mood when I get them I'll send something back (which is usually mean/true enough to stop them from responding again). But for the most part, ignore and delete.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
how do you choose when your a 6?
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:07:53 PM
1) I hope to hell you don't actually want to look like Pamela Anderson.
2) I don't think it counts as confident if you think people would be insulted by your interest in them.

Talk to the people you find attractive and let them worry about being attracted to you. Well, not worry - you know what I mean. There's no point lowering your standards to date people you think are in the same physical "league" as you if you don't actually find those people attractive.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
No Interest in Sex a Warning Sign?
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:19:54 AM

So you feel she owed you something back then? You weren't doing those things to be a good bf, you were doing it for hopes of having sex when where how you wanted it. I wouldn't fvck you either!

I'm sure he mentioned that only so people wouldn't start saying, "Well, she was doing all this stuff and you were doing nothing, so she was too tired." It's got nothing to do with him thinking he was owed.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
being asked out by text message
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:35:35 AM
I don't really think of dating all that formally, so being asked out in text message would be fine with me. It's not like he's proposing. People text things like that all the time: "Hey, want to go to ______ for dinner with me tonight?" It doesn't bother me when friends or family do it, so why would it with a date? Being broken up with through text message if you've been seeing a man for more than a couple of months is ridiculous, though.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Do you really read the page before opening an email?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:31:58 AM
I read the message first. If they have anything interesting to say I'll read the profile. Mostly because I care more about what they are saying directly to me than I do about what they are saying to the whole of POF.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Did I do something wrong?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:21:54 AM

I don't see the problem in calling someone out on a lie. He could have handled it differently.. "Oh yeah, forgot about that. I guess it didn't mean much." Something like that. But he chose to handle it like a jackass.

Sign of things to come.

This is what I think too. It's not the fact that it was a harmless little white lie- it's how he reacted to it. If I asked a question like that, it would just be an offhand question, I wouldn't be pissed because he took another woman there or anything. I don't think you did anything wrong at all.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why the duck lips?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:21:57 PM
You're not the only one who hates this. I think it's a flirty, look at me I have big sexy lips kind of thing. I don't get it.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
how long do you date before you're exclusive?
Posted: 9/12/2009 1:07:42 PM
She HAS made up her mind, it's just not the way you want it. I just finished explaining to a guy a couple of weeks ago that I don't rush into things, and he had the same reaction. You should put up with this as long as you're comfortable with it - if you need to be exclusive and be able to call her your girlfriend this early, then clearly this isn't for you. But, if you can handle "her idea of dating" for longer, and you think it's worth the wait, then do it.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Friendly, Then Ignored, Then Friendly?
Posted: 9/11/2009 10:21:25 AM
She might assume that because you're nice to her you have romantic interest. Or, she thinks she's developing feelings for you and is running away and then changing her mind. Or, there's a rumor about you going around that you don't know about. But most likely she either assumes you have an interest or she has one herself, and is trying to back off and is just doing a very bad job of it.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
My Boyfriend...
Posted: 9/11/2009 10:14:18 AM
If it's in stores, it could just be her trying to make a sale. She's saying the item is worth buying, and she's buying it for somebody she finds attractive (ie. not her brother)... therefore, saying she thinks the item would be a good purchase for an attractive person. Subconscious flattery...? I don't know what to call it, I just know it works. Of course, it could also be her way of keeping you at bay, it could just be a true fact that was the only thing she could think of to say, or it could be that she's one of those women who announces to everybody that she has a boyfriend.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why does it seem like the Canadian women here are so smart?
Posted: 9/11/2009 10:08:46 AM
I think there are intelligent and, um, less intelligent women on both sides of the border. I haven't noticed a particular trend either way. I do tend to see Canadians being infinitely politer, but I think that's just a societal thing - I can bump into a person in a bar and spill their drink, and they'll apologize to me and refuse to let me replace it. I also notice that in Canada women are very encouraged to be articulate and well spoken, or at least well written, but I can't speak for the USA so I'm not sure if it's different there. There are also a lot more people in the States than Canada, so maybe you just think you're noticing it because they outnumber us.
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Perplexed and perturbed
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:49:23 AM
I have met a lot of men who are now downright uncertain whether it's okay for them to date "traditionally". They hold open doors, they get yelled at for "thinking women aren't strong enough to open doors for themselves." They don't open doors, they're pigs with no sense of chivalry and don't know how to treat a lady. They seriously don't know how to handle this situation, and I can't say I blame them. The solution to the paying problem is to bring cash with you. When the bill lands, take a look at it and lay approximately half on the table (as close as you can get with the bills you have). Leave the rest for him. That way he can assume that you are willing to pay your half at least, and if it's really important to him that he pay the whole bill, he can insist on it (protest once and then let him have it, or offer to cover the tip).
 taal
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
A question of strategy...
Posted: 9/7/2009 11:56:04 AM
Maybe try finding five women you like. Or three. Whatever. Write each of them an individual message (no copy/pastes) and go with whoever responds. Narrow it down to maybe two (or more if you want), and go on a date with each of them. Chances are one of them will stand out, and the ones who are all the things you described can just be forgotten about.
 
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