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Thread: Do You Think People Are Possessions?

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Do You Think People Are Possessions? Posted: 10/28/2009 11:42:33 AM
In a relationship, you still have that freedom to do whatever.... within reason (like no cheating, etc). If there's trust in a relationship then there's no reason to worry... But yes it would be nice if my man asked me why i'm late, i tell him and then him maybe make a comment in response and then leave it at that, no third degree kind of thing. But, what I do ask of my man, is that if suppose to see him that day or he's suppose to be home at a specific to just give me a call saying going to be late or have to cancel for whatever reason may be.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Best friend was hitting on your spouse. What would you do? Posted: 10/28/2009 11:25:15 AM
Yes i would tell. If i didn't say anything and let it happen, it doesn't look good on me. Also, my partner deserves better friends then that... Friends who wouldn't hit on their friend boyfriend or girlfriend... a friend who does that to you is not a real friend. Then there's the whole want what you can't have thing.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 80 (view)

Why do men with kids respond to my ad? Posted: 10/28/2009 11:20:18 AM
I just read your profile... the guys with kids who message you are not too smart.. Must be blind, can't read or gods gift to the earth and hope you ignore the fact they have kids (like others have mentioned before).. Nothing wrong with you not wanting kids but you are at the same time limiting your options in the dating pool. But hey to each their own i guess. But maybe should put pictures up that aren't so "sexy" kinda "revealing"... to me your profile is vague on who you are... your main focus seems to be don't want kids or anyone with, don't need to go in great detail cause as you expierence the guys ignore it.. so less about the no kids thing and more of who you are and your interests and ya But good luck in your search

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Does exclusivity applies in FWB relationship? Posted: 10/26/2009 7:26:28 PM
Exclusive DOESN'T go with FWB.. whole point of FWB is to have that itch to be scratched WITHOUT commitment. It sounds like the one girl thinks it's an actual relationship.. I think good idea to check every now and then that they know it's just a FWB thing and they haven't developed feelings.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Does Sex Change How you feel ? Posted: 10/26/2009 7:16:34 PM
Everyone is different (duh) If sex is important to complete the relationship, then those people will want to have sex soon enough to know if want to continue on or not... if sex is bad then one of two things will happen, will drop you like a hot potato OR try to "teach" you but if not teachable or just not willing then well it's a bye bye kind of thing. Sex is good they will continue. But, if sex is only what both want from each other, then doesn't matter when it happens. Those women who want a relationship and make guys wait do it not only cause she likes him but wanting to know if he's in it just to get laid or if he actually interested in more.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

why do the little things make such a big difference???? Posted: 10/12/2009 4:12:03 PM
Little things can sometimes make a big difference. Unless she offers, you should assume as the guy that your paying. Also, if your going to pay regardless, then should make no difference if she left her purse in your car or not. So yes you are over reacting. Til in a relationship, i generally do expect the traditional of which a guy pays for each date. Once in a commited relationship, then i will start to offer to pay. But, I guess it all depends if the guy is traditional or not when comes to paying for dates.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Why do girls say they just want friends Posted: 10/12/2009 3:54:40 PM
I think it's better to be just friends first and see if anything comes out of it... If just friends, then can be yourself and no pressure to impress, to get the other person to like you more then a friend... also just want to be careful with own safety and from feelings getting hurt. Some people start as friends and then end up as lovers.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Isn't it easier to just say you're not interested? Posted: 10/12/2009 3:34:42 PM
Yes it's much better to just straight out and say it, so the other doesn't have to waste their time anymore but you know what we're all human. Alot of us don't want to hurt the person, so just ignore, drop off face of the earth, continue contact, play the "i'm not ready for a relationship right now" card, etc.. It happens, it sucks but not much can do about it.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

18 too young to date 19-21? Posted: 10/12/2009 3:30:52 PM
There are such women out there who prefer younger men. Nothing wrong with that as long as their over 18 and not young enough to be your son or brother. I personally prefer guys who are same age as me or no more then 6 years older then me. Yes, age is only a number.... technically but there should be a limit.. and be 18+(if your a much older person)

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Dating in a new area Posted: 10/10/2009 2:41:01 PM
Agrees with Rushluv

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Need advice Posted: 10/10/2009 2:38:50 PM
Agreed with others. Just wait til she has everything sorted out. What you fear will happen since she's currently depending on her ex to support her.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 151 (view)

Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse Posted: 10/10/2009 2:31:13 PM
I would NEVER dirty dance with a guy when i have a boyfriend (whether he's there or not), but i would clean dance with a guy.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Young engaged woman needs advice... Posted: 10/7/2009 4:19:10 PM
Like others have said your negitives outway your positives. The fact you have doubt, unsure about things and can't bring yourself to pick a date, those are signs in themselves. - He drinks 3X/wk. To me is one step towards becoming a alcoholic and if he can't cut down on that now, what makes you think he will when married? nevertheless when have kids? - bad with money. That personally would make me be hesident.. good to be financially secure. - His desire to hang out with his parents can get annoying. Very close with family that's awesome but he needs to learn can't always be hanging with them.. i mean to me it defeats the purpose of moving out, when spend good chunk of the day with the parents. - put him at near 300 lbs. Chances of him fixing that problem, is probally not high. Seems he see's nothing wrong with his weight, therefore, won't fix it. - sex uncomfortable . Sex to me is what makes a relationship whole. Sucky or lack there of, is not good. Alot of people in this case would cheat. DON'T MARRY HIM!!!

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

met skanky woman off this site Posted: 10/5/2009 5:02:02 PM
Click on a picture of a girl who are covered up and not in a "slutty" pose? Maybe also try to make sure you ask the important questions before making the decsion to meet or not.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

why do woman see men as just friends Posted: 9/21/2009 2:56:56 PM
There's nothing wrong with being a "nice guy". Just keep being yourself, get to know the women of interest, show your interested in more then just friends.. If both find out stuff about each other that like in a potential partner then great if not, well we can never have too many friends. Sometimes no one finds that connection once meet up in person, it happens. Nothing can really do about it. Like someone has mentioned it can seem have all these things in common and what not when talking online but then when meet in person it can be a totally different story.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

My ex told someone I sucked in bed. Can it be true? Posted: 9/19/2009 2:19:24 PM
Like someone else has already mention and i agree, she faked your whole relationship so yes chances are that she was faking in bed. But don't let this effect your self-esteem, just cause she didn't find you satifying, doesn't mean another girl would feel the same. And just cause she thinks you suck, doesn't make it true.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Am I on the right track? Posted: 9/18/2009 12:19:36 PM
If you two haven't met yet, then I think your getting ahead of yourself. Nothing wrong with only wanting to date one girl at one time but doesn't mean you can't talk to any other girls if they message you. But, with that said, don't expect her to hide or delete her profile already.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

She's just not that into me? Posted: 9/18/2009 12:13:21 PM
I too, when interested in a guy i would try to make time for him when he asks or if can't then pick a later date to get together. Try again next week, if gives you the "i'm busy" card, then just give up.. chances are she's not interested in you. Both men and women don't want to hurt the other if don't have too..... well most men and women anyway.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Tough one.... Posted: 9/18/2009 12:06:32 PM
I think that it's best to remain a friend right now, til she has everything sorted out with this pregnancy and the boyfriend. It's just not the right time to get romantically involved again. She's confused.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Shy, Disinterested, or Boring? Posted: 9/18/2009 11:56:32 AM
Pay attention to the body language if can't tell by how she talks to you on if she's interested or not. Just cause a person is quiet, shy, sucks at conversation doesn't mean their a bad person and can't be a great person for you... All talking does (other then a way to get to know someone) is make there be no awkardness with the silence.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse Posted: 9/18/2009 11:48:58 AM
Dirty dancing i wouldn't do it's disrespectful, however i would do clean dancing with another guy if my man didn't want too.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

should I tell His wife he's cheating? Posted: 9/18/2009 11:33:04 AM
She does have the right to know. But, people can get the wrong impression of your true motive. So, if your going to tell, be prepared for all that can happen in result of it.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Boyfriend wants a break..Help! Posted: 9/17/2009 9:37:04 AM
This is hard to tell what could happen... I think it's rare for those who take a break actually get back together. Cause the time could make the love stronger, realize what have and what not BUT it could also give you time to think about things and realize that the other person is not what your actually wanting in a partner or that not wanting a commited relationship after all. You only see him once a month. So why can't you not wait a month?29 days out of the month you don't see him anyway, so what's one more day. Also find it wierd he needs a "break" when 29 days a month you two don't see each other anyway. So, really only thing can take a break from is the verbal contact, which is also wierd but maybe it's just me.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Right girl just not right time? Posted: 9/15/2009 7:41:41 PM
To me, this is kind of hard to answer. Because since we don't know her, we don't know how well she can handle stress or juggle a few big things all at once. If she's the type that can't handle stress well and has shit load of school work to do and she waited so long to finally go to school, then can't blame her for wanting to focus on school only. Come on, she doesn't even have that much time for her friends, so i wouldn't take this personally. To me, she is interested, just doesn't have time for a relationship with anyone right now. Yes, she probably should of told you just friends from the start due to the schooling but she thought maybe she could juggle school and a relationship but soon realized she can't. It's really up to you in the end if you want to wait and hope it was worth waiting or just move on.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

arguments in a relationship...needed or not? Posted: 9/15/2009 1:25:19 PM
If the arguement leads to throwing things, a fist a swinging and putting each other down, then no it's not healthy. If it's a arguement is the opposite of what i said above, then healthy... No one is perfect and people bound to have some differences, which cause an harmless arguement.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Tired of being clueless. Posted: 9/15/2009 1:20:13 PM
Person #1 sounds like a jerk! worthless piece of sh!t when your two first dated he clearly knew he was treating you badly and didn't care.. so why would he suddenly now. I bet you, he's lonely and haven't had any luck with the ladies since you two broke up and started to talk again. Just cause you two have history doesn't mean you have to go with him. Also, how do you know this new him isn't an act just to get you back and that it won't go back to the way it was before? DON'T get back with him, very bad idea. Person #2 sounds like you don't really know him. I would get to know him, take things slowly. Don't get into a relationship til you both agree that you know each other well enough to become offical. If you know what you want and don't want, then ask the questions you need to ask in order to see if he has what you want. DON'T SETTLE!!!!!!

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Ex Was still messaging women Posted: 9/15/2009 1:07:08 PM
6 pages of messages? hun, if it was an innocent thing and were only friends who he had made before you or just on for the forums, there wouldn't be 6 pages, not even close. Maybe you two became exclusive too soon, before really knew each other. I know the relationships i jumped into pretty fast have in the end came and bit me in the @$$. It's possible the more he got to know you, he began to realize your not exactly what he's looking for in a girlfriend, this sounds like a make better friends then lovers situation. If i discovered that the man i was in a relationship was still actively on POF, it depends on some things. If he made the appropriate changes, Examples: Looking for Long-term to Friends or Hang out or Talk/e-mail, Relationship status Single to Not single/Not looking, delete what he's looking for in a romantic relationship and state how he's in a relationship but new friends are welcome, if was honest and told me he's still going on just for forums or talk to friends he made before we met, let me read any of the messages IF i wanted too and didn't actually meet them... then it wouldn't bother me. I myself like to come on POF just for the forumns when i am in a relationship. The fact he updated his picture and rest of profile and he has 6 pages worth of messages, hid this from you, it screams GET OUT!... He's probally settling for you til something comes along thats better. It's disrespectful. Just move on, you deserve better.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

tough one - some advice would be nice! Posted: 9/14/2009 5:57:13 PM
You aren't married. Shouldn't put your life on hold. Go out, live your life.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

I have an SO, so why am I back here? Posted: 9/14/2009 9:13:37 AM
If you really love her, then you wouldn't of went on that date, wouldn't of exchanged contact information and would of told her that you got a girlfriend back home. There's a difference being just friends with the opposite sex and just going out just as friends and going on an actual romantic date with the opposite sex. If your not happy in the relationship anymore, feel there's something(s) miss, then break up and move on.. What's so disrespectful, selfish is when a guy stays in a relationship just until he finds something better. Don't use her, that's just not right. Also, with all these doubts and what not, would be a VERY bad idea to get married. Sometimes people do grow apart, its a sad part of life.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Just wondering... Posted: 9/14/2009 8:53:27 AM
Just ask her. Point out you notice she updated her pictures and what not. I personally like going on here for the forums even when in a relationship, forums ONLY by the way. Since she still has an active, updated profile after 4 weeks of dating you, then i don't think she ment what she said. Cause if she did, i don't think she would update her pictures, nevertheless still have her profile visable for everyone to see.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

unique divorce problem Posted: 9/14/2009 8:44:31 AM
You say you want to take things slowly but your moving in with her already? the fact you will be sleeping in the basement and not her makes no difference. Don't have to live with her in order to help her out with her kids.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

is there anything such as a woman being too shy/plus self hate Posted: 9/13/2009 9:28:45 PM
Agrees with what Misssweet38 has said

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Help me to understand! Posted: 9/13/2009 6:38:06 PM
Like others have said, he will continue to repeat this as long as you allow it to happen. When get a chance you should sit down and talk to him about this and see if you can find out what's really going on. If he won't answer your question(s), like avoiding, then just move on, he's not worth it... If a guy is 100% interested in you, he wouldn't do this to you... he will make time to see you, talk to you, will keep his word, would actually tell you if he has to cancel for whatever reason, etc.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 398 (view)

Justifying Cheating? Posted: 9/13/2009 6:33:09 PM
There's no justifyable reason for someone to cheat. If not happy with how their being treated or lack of something they want then break up and find someone new.. DONT stay with current relationship and find someone new to give what your lacking... A poster on here talked about a guy she knew stayed in a relationship because she was ill and he had good health insurance. Well to me i don't think she forced him to stay, nevertheless pay for her medication and related. Maybe he's not entirely happy in the relationship but still cares and has a heart and doesn't seem to mind doing this for her. Not always a bad thing to put others before yourself.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 172 (view)

Toilet seat up or down- Relationship downfall? Posted: 9/13/2009 6:23:36 PM
Why making such a big deal about the toilet seat/lid? it shouldn't make or break a potential relationship. I personally like it if he left the seat down, don't care if the lid is up or down. It would be nice not having to look before seating down and even more nice cause he didn't put the seat back down when finished. If worried about the toilet spitting up on the seat, then make sure before leaving the bathroom that there's nothing on the seat. If it was his place, then i let him do whatever concerning the seat/lid, if it's my place then i would ask if he would do it my way... then when comes to sharing a home, well i guess it's something to discuss.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 105 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/13/2009 6:14:05 PM
I'm getting the impression that he didn't think this way before, that wasn't til his mom got into his head. It seems his mom doesn't like you and is trying to break up your marriage... why she's all of a sudden doing this now is beyond me. If he's like " IF divorce this, IF divorce that ", to me he's either seriously thinking about it or already made up his mind and just waiting for the wrong time. Try talking to him, hopefully will get somewhere... but if he's a mama's boy then well good luck, cause chances are he will believe everything she saids and do whatever she says. To me your marriage is slowly going down the toilet simply because he has let what his mom said get to him, he actually believes it. Seem only person he listens to is his mom and apparently can't think for himself. So, your options are try to make this marriage work OR just leave cause you don't deserve this.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 114 (view)

Strong opinions on pot smoking here and abouts; why? Posted: 9/13/2009 5:45:35 PM
It smells, it's illegal and well people can do stupid shit when high, which applies to alcohol too. It's just not my cup of tea. I prefer not to date someone who does drugs, soft or hard. I don't mind getting drunk every now and then but if a guy has to be stoned or drunk every time we're together then he's not worth my time and shows he can't be sober around me, which would make me sad and not good enough to spend time with sober... but i do know i'm good person and deserve respect by being sober, among other things.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

is it possible to fathom that a guy wants sex AND a relationship? Posted: 9/10/2009 6:43:16 PM
There's no rule on how long you should wait before having sex. Sex doesn't gaurentee a relationship, nevertheless a successful one. I can't say i ever fell in love with someone after having sex with them.. But generally I wait til I feel I know them well and long enough or it just feels right.... like the right time i mean. I think this " damned if you do, damned if you don't " statement applies to both men and women... sometimes just have to take that chance and hope for the best.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Has any body ever told you that you're a bad kisser Posted: 9/10/2009 4:39:34 PM
It can be a deal breaker if you want it to be... To me the phyical stuff is part of what completes a good relationship. I have come across a few guys who in my oppion are bad at kissing and other aspects of the phyical, sexual stuff. It was a deal breaker for me. They didn't have that many good qualities, like enough for me to make the effort to try to teach them how to do kissing and whatever better... But, only works also if their willing to learn cause well you can't force them too. So, you can stick it out alittle longer and try to show her how to kiss better OR make it a deal breaker and move on... But, if she has a sh*t load of great qualities, then take the time and effort and if she still doesn't get it.. either accept it or move on.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Girl is still hung over her ex Posted: 9/9/2009 9:03:19 PM
Well I assume the break up with her now ex happened recently, so it's understandable that she still has strong feelings for him... something like that can't go away that fast. It's best that just stay friends, let her know that not only your still romantically interested when she's ready for it but still going to meet other people in the meantime. You can't pass on any girl you come in contact with, just cause you have hopes of something happening with this newly single women. I doubt she would expect you to wait. Just keep on fishing, IF ment to be, then it will happen when it's suppose too.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Please Help! I'm lost Posted: 9/9/2009 8:51:48 PM
Do what you really want to do. Don't let others control what you should and shouldn't do. Who cares what they think. It's your life, take your chances, you got nothing to lose.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

OMG, I'm embarrassed and dont know how to handle this.... Posted: 9/9/2009 8:48:13 PM
Tell her before you meet, how you feel about it and leave the ball in her court on if she still wants to meet now or wait or just move on all together. If only have one not so pretty tooth for right now, then i don't see it as a problem.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Why can't some women let go? Posted: 9/9/2009 8:30:06 PM
This does apply to both men and women. But, I think the reason why can't let go as don't have what you call "closure". I HATE it, when a guy suddenly cuts off all contact with not a word. He's not interested fine but would it really kill him to tell me why before going on his merry way? Just like relationships are learning expierences, well so are dates.. I know every guy is different in what he does like and doesn't like but i still would like the guy to give me some ideas of what liked and didn't like, so that i can continue the good and depending on what the bad is, work on it.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Why does every girl I talk to close their account? Posted: 9/9/2009 7:59:59 PM
Like many others have said. The girls may of met someone and decided to close their account while in a relationship with the guy. Also could be that have no luck so decided to get rid of their account or suddenly has no time for dating right now. Their can be many reasons. Don't take offence to it. Just move on.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

What ever happened to Girl Power? Posted: 9/9/2009 7:53:28 PM
Alot of women don't have a problem with initating or keeping in contact going BUT sometimes we back off abit to see if he's really interested or not and once we know for sure interested then it's all good. Another reason we sometimes back off abit is cause we don't want to scare you off.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

QUIET PLEASE Posted: 9/9/2009 7:45:59 PM
I agree with what DeeplySoulicious

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

whats the problem with a breif message? Posted: 9/9/2009 5:51:50 PM
That short one sentance may work on some girls but not all... Alot of women want to recieve a message that's at least a paragraph long or alittle more. Stating alittle about yourself, actually show that you read her profile and lastly ask some questions so can get to know each other better..

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Problem with Black Women Posted: 9/9/2009 5:46:35 PM
It's simple. The black women you have message just simply is not interested in you. Not much can do about it but move on.

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

To those outgoing guys Posted: 9/9/2009 4:24:18 PM
Well, I think main issue is being able to be talkitive NOT so much the shy part, alittle of it but not all. I am a open book, have no secrets, don't mind telling him anything he wants to know... just sometimes i can't pull information out of that book and verbalize it to the guy... I have been talkitive before with guys i met, just not all. I know I don't have to justify myself on here, but i want to.. to try to make things clear.. Just didn't feel like writing a novel lol

sweet_n_heart

Joined: 1/31/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Is it a turnoff when... Posted: 9/8/2009 9:53:41 PM
Not a turn off. There's alot of women who also don't drink and know that don't need booze to have fun.

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