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Author
Thread: It was fun being a Baby Boomer...until now
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
1 (
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)
It was fun being a Baby Boomer...until now
Posted:
6/10/2008 4:24:52 AM
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging Baby Boomers.
They include:
Herman's Hermits- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
The Bee Gees- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
Roberta Flack- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash- I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
Procol Harem- A Whiter Shade of Hair
Leo Sayer- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
Abba- Denture Queen
Tony Orlando- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Leslie Gore- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To
Willie Nelson- On the Commode Again
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
17 (
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Links in profile interest section question
Posted:
5/30/2008 2:06:06 PM
Otto Bonn, you rock! Thanks!
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
15 (
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Links in profile interest section question
Posted:
5/30/2008 12:59:54 PM
Exactly, not sure what the minimum Number is, but as of recent it was under 10.
FYI, I have seen as few as 3 profiles linked by a common interest.
Perhaps initially there were the needed quota, and then the numbers dropped off? (Thinking like a programmer here...)
A suggestion: provide the link when there are at least 2!
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
13 (
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Links in profile interest section question
Posted:
5/30/2008 12:39:32 PM
right next to where you enter them, it says "separate interests with commas"
Assuming interests are listed correctly, why are some links missing from certain interests? I had always assumed that when links were missing, there wasn't anyone else with that particular interest.
However, recently I noticed that another POFer listed the same musician in her interests section. Both of us have it spelled the same way, but this particular interest isn't linked. Why? Maybe this question is already answered somewhere? I wasn't able to find it in a search.
I can give you more details via PM if you want.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
18 (
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Smarts options
Posted:
5/23/2008 8:49:06 PM
I added Masters degree.
What is the difference between that and a Graduate degree? In the US they are generally one and the same--although I suppose a Graduate degree could imply either a Master's or a Ph. D. Oy, confusion!
I don't know yet if there is a need to break out college and university
Again, in the US, for all practical purposes, they are considered one and the same.
Instead of "Smarts", I would would simply call it "Education." There are some very smart people with little education, and there are also educated idiots!
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
140 (
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Domestic Violence
Posted:
5/23/2008 10:38:57 AM
OP, absolutely you are not alone. I, too, have been through this, as well as many, many others. You are not crazy for having the feelings that you do. You are absolutely going through the stages of grief--it is normal.
The best piece of advice I can give you without writing a book on this subject (which I could easily do), is to BREAK ALL CONTACT WITH HIM. The only way you can begin to recover and heal is through NO CONTACT with the abuser. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough. Otherwise he will start messing with your head again, and once he has you hooked, the manipulation will start all over. Once you have broken all contact, then the new phase of mending your life begins.
If you stay on track, maintain no contact and continue getting support and therapy, life will only get better and better. (Been there.) Hugs to you.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
13 (
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what should you do when people leave stuff at your place?
Posted:
5/23/2008 5:40:44 AM
I had a similar thing happen to me once. I really had done this person a favor since I was very short on space myself, and having his stuff there made me even more cramped. After keeping it for many months for him, the bum told me he didn't want it anymore. I asked him to come and get it anyway, but he never showed up. It was quite a lot of stuff and most of it not worth anything. Since he had found a nice apartment, I ended up delivering it all to his doorstep (covered porch) and leaving it there for him. He did not deserve the kindness, but it was not my job to figure out how to dispose of his belongings for him.
So, you always have the option of providing free home delivery. What a pain in the a$$ though.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
48 (
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Allergic to Work
Posted:
5/21/2008 6:43:42 PM
OP, she may have some great qualities, but she does not sound like the right match for you. It is ok to trust your instincts on this one and do what you need to do. Sounds like it is time to move on.
Btw, when I saw the title on this thread, I thought it was about allergies!
We actually have a "no lilac" aisle at work right now!
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
8 (
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ebay scam
Posted:
5/14/2008 7:02:38 AM
You didn't say how you knew it was stolen? Also, what actions did you take with eBay and what was their response? I haven't had any problems with eBay so far (*knock on wood*), but I check my sellers carefully. I also buy and sell with PayPal only. How did you pay for it?
From eBay US: "If members see an item on eBay that they believe is stolen, the best course is to contact law enforcement immediately. Under eBay's privacy rules, eBay’s attorneys will provide important records about pending and past listings with an official request from law enforcement officials. eBay will ask that members inform the police officer handling the case that eBay will be pleased to cooperate in the investigation, and ask the officer to contact eBay using eBay’s law enforcement-specific webform. The officer should include all relevant information, including the case number and any item numbers or User IDs."
I don't know what the Canadian policy is, but I imagine it is something similar?
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
192 (
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Slept with gfs mom and now she may be PREGO
Posted:
5/13/2008 7:23:50 PM
Is anyone else hearing Simon & Garfunkel here?
"...Hey, hey, Heeeyyyy, Mrs. Robinson...."
As a matter of fact,
The Graduate
played on AMC about a week or two before this thread started.....
hey, hey heeeeyyyy!
I can't believe this thread is still going.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
9 (
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A mouse nest in my grill!!
Posted:
5/13/2008 5:42:07 PM
i had the same thing happen to me but i didnt check the bbq before i lit it and had flaming mice running in all directions.
Mouse a la flambé ! Love it.
You don't say if the grill is gas, charcoal, or other
It's a gas grill. I don't know if it's a regional thing or a sign of the times, but everyone here seems to use gas grills. I grew up in the Midwest where everyone used charcoal. But I digress.
You'll know if you've missed anything too- the droppings have a very distinct aroma.
I'm considering buying new racks since mine are pretty worn out anyway. The thought of them sticking to my hamburger is just...@#%!!!
compared to some of the threads over in cooking (various weird foods and organ meats), this would have been mild.
Good to know. I figured the cooks would know the answer to this. I just considered this to have a particular "eeewww" factor.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
1 (
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A mouse nest in my grill!!
Posted:
5/13/2008 4:41:42 PM
We were all excited to grill today until we opened the grill and discovered a large mouse nest. Considering we had one of the snowiest winters on record, it should have come as no surprise that a family of mice made its winter home there. (Moral: do not leave your grill outside during the winter!!) We cleaned out the mess and hosed it down, but my question is, how do I sterilize it? It wasn't just the nest, but all the mice droppings...yuuuck!! My daughter thinks the heat from grilling will destroy any germs, but my son says he is never eating from that grill again! Suggestions welcome. (I was going to post this in the cooking forum but didn't want to ruin anyone's appetite.)
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
25 (
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Everybody look! Out of these 4 ways which have you found the most successful?
Posted:
5/12/2008 11:43:10 AM
online dating good for finding out the person you've been talking to actually married
.....and courting around 10 other women, telling each of them that he is divorced and they are the only one..... *ugh*
I vote for none of the above. I think the best option for meeting someone is through non-work activities within your community. That way you have a chance to get to know them on a natural level, plus you already have something in common--an interest or activity you both like to do.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
69 (
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Dag NAB it! Godfrey Daniel! Consarn it! Jeezit on a Cheezit!
Posted:
5/12/2008 7:01:22 AM
OP, in the future, consider not letting anyone who is a near-stranger stay at your place until you have had a chance to get to know the person better. I am sure you thought you knew this fellow well-enough and that he was above doing something like this, but it takes awhile to get to really know someone. It's easy to mistake niceness for honesty, but as you have discovered, they are not one and the same.
Also, have a place in your apartment where you can hide valuables. If he only took a couple bucks, consider yourself lucky. He could have taken your credit cards, or worse, your personal data, eventually leading to identity theft. Check to be sure nothing else is missing.
At any rate, don't beat yourself up for it. Chalk it up to experience. Live and learn.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
381 (
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Words And Phrases That I Despise !!
Posted:
5/9/2008 9:15:45 PM
We have a store here that is called Cum and Go
I had a friend that used to work at a convenience store called "The In and Out." No joke!
As they say in Vermont: "there you have it!"
Remember, avoid clichés like the plague!
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
341 (
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Best bumper sticker
Posted:
5/9/2008 9:00:46 PM
"VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS" ~ my all-time favorite!!
And for all of you who get annoyed with those "honor student" bumper stickers:
"My child was inmate of the month at the county jail."
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
31 (
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What is considered Physical abuse
Posted:
5/9/2008 1:51:59 PM
OP,
YES.
Without a doubt, what you did to her was physical abuse.
I am not in any way excusing her behavior, but you had no right to do what you did to her, even if she was out of control. Two wrongs don't make a right. It's always better to walk away.
Also, consider choosing your partners more carefully. It sounds like you picked a real winner.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
241 (
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted:
5/9/2008 1:19:40 PM
What about the lying part, does anybody feel this should be an issue or flag??
Dave, that is a HUGE red flag. I experienced something similar with my ex. After I caught him in the first lie, I was stunned, but I forgave him and let it go. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning, and I began to uncover one lie after another. Many of the lies were about things that would have never mattered anyway, if he had just told me the truth in the first place. In the end, I found out he had been cheating on me.
The problem isn't her age as much as the fact that she would lie to you about something so fundamental. If she will lie about her age to her fiance, she will lie about anything. I think you would be wise to part company with her.
Good luck to you. I really do understand the heartache.
~Real
One more note~sociopaths are usually charmers. Don't take "niceness" as a sign of honesty. My ex's daughter has said that she knows more about her father by the lies he tells, than anything else he says or does...
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
2 (
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SOUTHERN NEW HAMPSHIRE, VERMONT POF GATHERING???
Posted:
5/8/2008 9:41:51 AM
I'm thinking of getting a POF gathering together in Burlington in August. Everyone will be welcome, including our Canadian neighbors, if they are up to the adventure!
I know Burlington is a bit far for the folks in southern Vermont for an evening out, so why don't you plan an informal get-together for your area? Post it here, but send out e-mail invitations. The Vermont Forums have less action than a cemetery, so I doubt many have seen your post. Since a lot of people have mail restrictions (particularly male/female), ask everyone to spread the word.
I'll be posting here when I'm ready. In the meantime, I'm going to do some checking around. Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions??? A cruise on the Ethan Allen on Lake Champlain? Or an informal get-together on Church St?
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
13 (
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Is age really only a number
Posted:
4/30/2008 7:50:04 PM
It isn't so much about age as it is about being a "match" in terms of your maturity level, interests, and goals. Over the years I have seen many of these relationships end after the thrill wore off and they found they had nothing in common outside the bedroom. At 22, there was no way I would have been ready to settle down with a man who was 11 years older and had a child.
On the other hand, my mother's parents were very much against her marrying my father because he was 15 years older. Well, as you can probably guess, she did not listen! They had a very successful marriage, but it was also a first marriage for both and neither had any children when they married.
So the answer is that there is no firm answer. It's an individual choice.
Have no regrets. Just live and learn. Ask yourself what you really want, and then follow your heart.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
98 (
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Slept with gfs mom and now she may be PREGO
Posted:
4/30/2008 6:27:19 PM
OP,
This is a joke, right?
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
130 (
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Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted:
4/28/2008 8:05:42 PM
Wallflower, well said!
Also, msg 27 was spot on, as well as msg 58,64, 67, 84, 95, 98, 104. I'm with NancyG all the way!!
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
129 (
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Why can't I get over this guy?
Posted:
4/28/2008 8:00:37 PM
Karma, reap-what-you-sow, what-goes-around-comes-around (or whatever you want to call it) applies to cruelty, too. Show no mercy, and the next time you mess up don't be surprised if no one is there to show mercy to you. Think about it. (This is not for the OP.)
Peace.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
68 (
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Why cant we have a poke button????
Posted:
4/27/2008 1:48:26 PM
The idea of sending "pokes" and "superpokes" immediately conjures up images of (1) young school children annoying each other-- or--(2) very pleasurable adult behaviors which I will leave to your imagination.
Forget pokes. Facebook pokes are very dorky, but mainly, they are done by friends to friends. "Winks" on other paid dating sites are, IMO, completely useless and a waste of time. I am relieved they don't have them here.
I'd vote for "scratch and sniff" though. Maybe POF could institute the "feature of the month"? Scratch and sniff month, taze month...(yeah, kinda kiddish, but still..) The thing is to mix it up.
Ps--this thread is misplaced, I do think? I predict it will be canned, although it is a valid topic for discussion. It should be in POF Suggestions category.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
18 (
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Have you ever cheated at a blind date?
Posted:
4/26/2008 8:32:46 PM
By the subject line I thought this thread was actually about cheating while on a blind date...er...like excusing yourself to go to the restroom and then getting shagged by the waiter....sounded pretty kinky to me. (I think you need a different title on this thread.)
But to answer the OP's intended question: no. It seems rather juvenile to me to hang around a corner and then take off if you don't like the way somebody looks. I have found that almost no one looks like their picture (or pictures), and that much of that is largely due to the one or two-dimensional nature of the internet. There is much about a person's looks that cannot be conveyed by a picture or even a series of pictures and can only be gained "in person." That being said, I agree with Msg 2: there is always something to be learned, an experience to be gained, or even a friend to be made. I always stay and chat.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
309 (
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what's wrong with saying thanks but no thanks
Posted:
4/26/2008 8:00:51 AM
very little in the way of manners these days... I have replied to all (lots), and yet am rarely given the same consideration.
It works both ways. A lot of people get nasty and childish when they are turned down, even when it's done very politely. It is for that reason that many of us have just quit responding when we are not interested.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
213 (
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polygamist compound in Texas - 200 people removed
Posted:
4/21/2008 1:09:56 PM
FYI
There are Canadian Nationals and their Children involved.
Apparently when Warren Jeffs was on the run, he made the families in the various compounds (US and Canada) switch kids. Imagine that. Also, if one of the men leaves the group, they "re-assign" his women and their children to a new man. I am assuming this is why they need to do DNA testing to get the mess sorted out.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
61 (
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Gov.Eliot Spitzer in Prostitution Sting
Posted:
3/15/2008 10:40:53 PM
Check out this video from Larry King where he interviews a supposed former pimp and escort from "NY Confidential", one of the 7-8 escort services that Eliot Spitzer took down. The ex-pimp says Ashley brought them in $2,000/hour with 3 to 5 hour minimums, but he lost touch with her after his business was busted and he spent time in JAIL. He said he knew it was karma when he heard what happened to the governor.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/14/kristen.music.ap/index.html?iref=werecommend#cnnSTCVideo
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
49 (
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Gov.Eliot Spitzer in Prostitution Sting
Posted:
3/13/2008 8:37:58 PM
My criticism of Spitzer is mostly for his ridiculous choice of a dog for a prostitute to destroy his life with.
Ah, the double standard lives!
I got to see her myspace page before it went down. Don't listen to him^^. She's beautiful, and has a beautiful voice, too.
Speaking of dogs, anybody with ears the size of "Spritzer's" (sic) should have to pay double.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJUTuDG8XGA
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
41 (
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Gov.Eliot Spitzer in Prostitution Sting
Posted:
3/13/2008 11:00:26 AM
You appear to have any over zealous "mob" kind of attitude towards the guy...can you consider that you may be being a little stricter on him than you would be on yourself? You dad? Or son?can you consider that you may be being a little stricter on him than you would be on yourself?
Not at all. I simply believe that from the public's perspective, he should be held to the same standard that HE HIMSELF has held for others. "Mob" attitude is anti-prostitution, but my point really has nothing to do with prostitution, since that is not the issue at stake here. I think what you are seeing is my zealousness to explain my position, because I can tell that some are not "getting it" by what they are saying to me.
We love to throw self righteous stones at our leaders, holding them up to a bar that we wouldnt dare to against the men in our family.
You are talking about the Governor throwing stones here, right?
Listen, if you look at this whole issue at face value, you will not "get" what I am saying. Do some in-depth background reading and see if your own opinion changes a bit.
JMO--and--I am looking forward to the leadership of David Paterson.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
36 (
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Gov.Eliot Spitzer in Prostitution Sting
Posted:
3/12/2008 7:46:13 PM
Rather he prosecuted those who ran elaborate prostitution "enterprises," like the one of which he is now accused of being a customer.
Really. So it's ok to for him to use the services that he prosecuted? Maybe he was trying to put the others out of business so The Emperor's Club could have the monopoly on the call girl business? (Ok...kidding...)
You can say one is worse than the other--but it's all a splitting of "moral" hairs, so to speak. Now, whether prostitution is right or wrong depends on your own personal views and is a topic for another thread. But the point here is this: in most people's eyes, there is only a nuance between those who sell the services and those who use them.
Also, I doubt if you know who went to prison and who didn't, but I'd be willing to bet the heavy hitters did some time.
Anyway, he's in trouble for a whole lot more than being a john.
To re-rephrase what was said by another poster on this thread, this is an example of hypocrisy at its very finest.
On a much lighter note, someone left this great comment on "Kristen's" myspace page:
"Just put everything in perspective. At least Spritzer paid for a screw. You pay Wall Street Cons'r'us criminals to get screwed."
Check out her myspace page--user name "ninavenetta".
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
28 (
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Gov.Eliot Spitzer in Prostitution Sting
Posted:
3/11/2008 7:53:09 PM
Basically, this is a family matter. I wish the powers that be would have simply brought this to him in a discreet way and told him he needs to stop it, also told his wife and made sure it was kept out of the news.......and ended. Men are men. None of us are saints, especially around sexuality issues.
Tell that to all the people who are sitting in prison right now because he prosecuted them for the very same crimes he is now accused of.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, read up on the guy. Or refer to my earlier post for a summary.
Sorry, but the "boys will be boys" argument doesn't hold water here--unless you believe an elected official is above the law.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
19 (
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Gov.Eliot Spitzer in Prostitution Sting
Posted:
3/11/2008 9:52:13 AM
Why do people care that (another) politician has been caught with a prostitute? Well, this guy is no ordinary politician. To quote from today's Wall Street Journal:
As attorney general, Mr. Spitzer prosecuted cases ... including prostitution. In 2004, Mr. Spitzer indicted 18 people associated with popular "escort services" operating in New York City and its suburbs for promoting prostitution and related charges. That same year, he prosecuted individuals who promoted prostitution through tours in Asia, known as "sex tourism."
Last year, as governor, Mr. Spitzer helped pass legislation that toughened penalties for "sex tourism" operations and "sex traffickers" who bring foreigners into the U.S. and force them into prostitution.
In the same article, Rep. Peter King (Republican) of Long Island commented,
"I've never known anyone who was more self-righteous and unforgiving than Eliot Spitzer."
There is much, much more, but I think that sums it up pretty well.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
63 (
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Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough
Posted:
2/25/2008 10:55:47 AM
reading through the posts of the various women here, I can predict with reasonable certainity that most of you can look forward to a life of loneliness that perhaps your advanced degrees and 10 cats might compensate for. ... So don't blame your singleness on the lack of available partners. Blame it on your own social skills and misguided misdirected thinking about others.
Oh 'fer cryin' out loud, Mr. Eagle, the comment about cats was a JOKE. For the record, I was responding to an earlier dig about women and cats and having a little fun.
And that comment of yours...can I say....OUCH. When I first read it, I felt sorry for whomever you directed that comment at. But then I realized that stereotyping usually speaks for itself.
Remember--we're not all never-marrieds, wanna-be marrieds here. Heck, some of us have even been in happy relationships, are newly single (perhaps due to the death of a spouse), and are even starting a new relationship--and happy about it. Whadda 'ya know!
So, take your stingers off and lighten up.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
45 (
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Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough
Posted:
2/24/2008 6:39:03 AM
I find it amazing that so many women who find a lot of men unacceptable, seem to not mind serving, picking up and cleaning up after a bunch of cats, and becoming immune to the stink.
What? Sweet, cuddly, purrfect little creatures versus smelly armpits, hairy legs, and getting f*rted on? You go figure it out. Duh.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
16 (
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Is it really suppose to happen? When?
Posted:
1/11/2008 9:30:23 AM
Assuming that you are questioning why you are still single, some of the reasons I've found for perennial singlehood are:
1. Choice. Some people like being single.
2. Unreasonable expectations/extreme pickiness/seeking perfection in a partner.
3. Always looking for the next best thing. This can get pathological and, unfortunately, online dating has exacerbated this tendency to the nth degree.
4. Negative personal habits/character traits, particularly "blind spots" that derail a relationship that originally started well. (Look up Johari Window in Wikipedia.) This one is a biggie. If you find relationships are dissolving for reasons that are not entirely clear, seek feedback from family and friends and ask them to be brutally honest with you about what those habits or traits might be. I find that those closest to us usually know, but because they love us, they have learned to accept our faults and don't talk about it because they don't want to hurt us.
5. Slow to act/not making the new relationship prospect a priority. (Think Mr. Slowsky in the Comcast commercials.) This isn't derailment because the relationship never gets off the ground. I see this a lot with bachelors.
6. Just plain old bad luck. Yeah, that exists, too, although I wouldn't be too quick to blame everything on bad luck as that leads to a "woe is me" mentality.
Ok, I am sure there are others, so feel free to add to my list.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
19 (
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)
5 Golden Rules for Finding Your Life Partner
Posted:
1/9/2008 5:04:44 PM
Thank god they defined mench (sic), I had a different definition in mind.
Mensch
is actually the German word for
humans
, although it seems to have Yiddish roots. I actually worked with someone by that last name--very cool.
Random House Unabridged defines
mensch
as "a decent, upright, mature, and responsible person" and the American Heritage Dictionary defines it as "a person having admirable characteristics, such as fortitude and firmness of purpose." The Online Etymology Dictionary says a mensch is a "person of strength and honor."
A mensch. I like that.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
3 (
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)
More options for block first contact - has children
Posted:
1/9/2008 7:10:01 AM
This is a redundant thread and will probably be deleted but...the solution is simple:
just put it in the About Me section of your profile. If it bothers you that much, YOU CAN EVEN SHOUT IN CAPS the very first thing. Or just ignore the e-mail if you don't want to explain.
I see you are young and want children of your own--fair enough--but a block feature for "has children" is just not necessary, and, IMHO, just plain offensive.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
157 (
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)
Do you forewarn the next Victim ?
Posted:
1/4/2008 9:54:13 PM
pretending oooh lets warned people about these people , give me a break, if some of you had maybe a little common sense and stop ignoring red flags , things like this rarely would happen.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It is also naive to assume these con artists are easy to spot. As stated in an earlier post:
I wouldn't be so quick to pat yourself on the back as being too smart to fall for such a loser: snakes come in many forms and can strike even the most put-together who just had their backs turned at the wrong moment.
And about those red flags, I see them flashing when I see posts defending the creep that defrauded the woman of 10 Grand and paramoralizing why people should be hush-hush about it. It seems like a defensive mechanism for a guilty conscience.
JMHO.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
121 (
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)
Do you forewarn the next Victim ?
Posted:
1/2/2008 7:08:00 AM
I put my vote in for warning the next victim.
She may not listen, but when (notice this is not an "if" but rather a "when") her time comes to get conned, at least she will know you tried to warn her. Referring to him as a sociopath or narcissist will have more validity than "he will cheat on you and steal your money." Keep it short, simple and factual. Then move on.
Several years ago, I was in a similar position as the "new woman." His ex-wife and ex-girlfriend had considered warning me but opted against it figuring I would just see them as "the bitter ex'es." I so wish they had! Sure he would have sweet-talked and explained away what they were saying, but it would have helped me get out of the relationship much sooner than I did.
Of course, nothing speaks more clearly than a set of legal charges for fraud. I would pursue that above all.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
43 (
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)
Will he do this to me again?
Posted:
12/11/2007 8:48:58 AM
OP, to answer the question in your title, YES !!
I sense you are a compassionate and open-minded person. If I'm right about that, remember that this strength is also a great vulnerability. He senses this and thus has hooked you in with his BS. Otherwise you wouldn't have let him do this to you 6 times, right?
If you don't believe what people are telling you here, then start reading. E-mail me and I'll give you links and information, as well as all the "don't-date-him" sites where you can read what has happened to others. Knowledge is your friend.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
15 (
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)
E-mail and virtual relationships
Posted:
12/5/2007 10:47:08 AM
I'm not personally a fan of the endless emails...... send a few, talk a bit then meet. Other wise what's the point of being on a dating service?
Right on for the most part, except that some of us are here for online friends, too (in addition to wanting to meet that someone special).
I prefer to correspond for a bit before meeting. You can learn a lot about a person not only by
what
they say, but by
the way
they say it.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
78 (
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)
Forum Missionaries.
Posted:
12/4/2007 3:24:53 PM
Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still a retard.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel :grinch:
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
47 (
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)
Why do (in my case) men just disappear?
Posted:
11/19/2007 6:06:30 PM
and unless they email me asking why then I tell them the truth. If not..........I just leave it alone. I hate to hurt peoples feelings so I think the "no response" method is kinder
IMO that is quite different than just disappearing...the difference being that you respond and tell them when they ask, where in the OP's case, he refused to respond to her.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
38 (
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)
Why do (in my case) men just disappear?
Posted:
11/19/2007 4:52:56 PM
not exactly sure why some men do this
They (men and women) do it because they can. They can because the internet has dehumanized human relationships. Haven't you noticed how nasty people can get on these forums? These individuals wouldn't dare act this way if they had to see the individuals they are disrespecting. Before the internet, people primarily dated people they met and knew in their communities. If you got treated bad, the news of it would get around town and eventually come back to "bite" the offender, who would then acquire a not-so-savory reputation.
In the OPs case, the guy sounded infantile. It was a variation of the old "silent treatment": "I'm not going to tell you why I'm mad, because you should know, and I expect you to read my mind." It's baby-ish behavior.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
16 (
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)
Why do (in my case) men just disappear?
Posted:
11/19/2007 8:34:20 AM
Frau Blücher, LOVE the Hee Haw quote !!
OP, I have heard of this happening to many others. The disappearing "Houdini" act has become the de facto standard for ending online "relationships". It's rude, mannerless, and totally stinks. And, unfortunately, it's probably not going to get any better.
Sorry I can't be more encouraging, except to say, you are not alone.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
132 (
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)
He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted:
11/17/2007 5:33:26 PM
Had to chime in on this one. I dated a guy like this for a year, and guess what, we have remained friends. We don't talk very often, and the old flame is no longer there, but we do care for each other as we would for any good friend. He states he is in love with another woman (whom he calls his soulmate), and this doesn't bother me in the least.
In his case, I think his ability to remain friends after the dating relationship ended was a spill-over from the "free love" attitude he acquired growing up in the 60's. I can't say I've ever met anyone who could pull it off like he could, and I wouldn't know what to tell you about a younger person with that mindset.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
14 (
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)
was this wrong??? hard choice
Posted:
10/26/2007 9:35:34 AM
I had to chime in on this one because I had a relationship that ended for the same reason--not my kids, but his. The son kept getting in trouble with the law. Now, as an adult, that kid has spent more time IN a correctional facility than he has outside it.
OP, if it was driving you nuts, as you say, then you did the right thing by moving on. When you date someone with children, you are getting a "package deal." The situation with her children has most likely been that way for a long time and is not going to change--unless she herself wants to change it.
So I guess the question is, did she see you as overbearing and strict? Or did she acknowledge her need to change the way she was parenting?
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
545 (
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)
Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted:
10/21/2007 1:10:52 PM
I'd like to throw something out there to all of you people, forget the car, the house and the job, why not look for character? No amount of money can buy that.
While there are exceptions, a long-term pattern of unemployment, inability to hold a job, and living off of others reveals quite a bit about a person's character. "Must have a house" would be better phrased as "must have a place to live" (and that place is preferably not with his parents or on his friend's couch). "Must have a car" means he must be able to get around on his own and preferably have his own mode of transportation. "Must have a job" means he must be working or actively looking for work, if recently unemployed. Oooo such big expectations!
The bottom line is, there is no bigger turn-off than a man who can't stand on his own two feet and take care of himself.
realdream7
Joined:
2/5/2007
Msg:
533 (
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)
Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted:
10/21/2007 9:24:07 AM
I do not think women are being gold diggers in this case, it is just that in the dating world, a lot of women meet men who don't have a job or don't have a steady job at least and tend to use women to take care of them financially. Their statements in this case are simply to avoid the male gold diggers ...
This is spot-on. Think of it--if the woman has a job, car, and a house, why wouldn't she want the man to have the same?
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