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subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Festivals... Posted: 3/29/2007 10:19:11 AM
im just going to the wicker man festival because its on my doorstep. love the police though How can you support the wicker man and love the police.....from what I saw in the film if your mates find out they might kick you out of the village

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

If You Were The Judge.............. Posted: 3/29/2007 9:45:08 AM
Racist? Cut out his tongue so he cant express his racist opinion Yes, that's all well and good but what if he 'blacked up' and started to do black and white minstral impressions.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Should we be punished for circumstances beyond our control?! Posted: 3/29/2007 9:04:29 AM
You don't know what I wear when I go out so what the f**k you on about So the guy in the pic at the brum meet isn't actually you then? Or maybe it is you but your getting dressed is a circumstance beyond your control and you just have to go out in what your mum puts you in.....those were the days, I remember them well.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Should we be punished for circumstances beyond our control?! Posted: 3/29/2007 8:54:23 AM
Oh give over man, anybody that comes in here can see you do nothing but wallow in self pity for your own attention, and whilst I'm at it those bloody vvvvv's get on everybody's tits as does your constant copying of every 6 posts either side of what you ever have to say, and lastly, next time you go out try smartening yourself up instead of showing up in what you doss around the house in.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

If You Were The Judge.............. Posted: 3/29/2007 8:49:40 AM
Driving too fast causes accidents and I think anybody caught speeding on the motorway should be stopped and forced to reverse backwards until they reached the point where they started from and then set off again but stay within the speed limit .

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Should we be punished for circumstances beyond our control?! Posted: 3/29/2007 8:42:00 AM
Once again one of your 'this isn't self pity' threads happens to be just that, so ok you were late, didn't you have a mobile to let them know of your predicament ? Secondly,ok you were sick, but as the lady said they were looking for people they could rely on and the fact that you let them down twice was enough for them to believe you weren't. Thirdly, I'm sure the lady in question would be over the moon to see you have announced her full name on the internet and I hope she doesn't suffer a total invasion of her privacy because of a wanton act of selfishness all because you weren't up for the job and blamed it somebody else.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Commitment phobic Posted: 3/29/2007 5:28:54 AM
You know what? When I look back on my little life and the birds I've known, and think of all the things they've done for me and the little I've done for them, you'd think I've had the best of it along the line. But what have I got out of it? I've got a bob or two, some decent clothes, a car, I've got me health back and I ain't attached. But I ain't got me peace of mind - and if you ain't got that, you ain't got nothing. I dunno. It seems to me if they ain't got you one way they've got you another. So what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself - what's it all about? Know what I mean?

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Strange and beautiful Posted: 3/29/2007 1:45:23 AM
Mam called me barmy when I told her I fell of a gasometer for a bet. But I'm not barmy, I'm a fighting pit prop that wants a pint of beer, that's me. But if any knowing ba$tard says that's me I'll tell them I'm a dynamite dealer waiting to blow the factory to kingdom come. Whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not because they don't know a bloody thing about me! God knows what I am.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Tube bosses slam escalator ski stunt! Posted: 3/28/2007 2:46:30 PM
I used to go down the local newsagents and look through the tabloids searching for something interesting to talk about, but I lost my nerve when the proprietor accused me of eyeballing the top shelf material , but I wasn't , honest.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

I have a dilemma, not romantic but could use some advice Posted: 3/28/2007 2:29:24 PM
Sounds to me like you're on an Anna Nicole Smith trip but without the sexual favours, it's nice to see you want to make sure he spends his money doing the house up so you don't have to waste yours when you inherit it, good luck.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Playstation 3 banned from jails. Posted: 3/28/2007 2:23:06 PM
Oh I can't believe how soft this nation is getting , they'll be stopping slipping bromide in their cocoas next

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

i,m honest geezer promise Posted: 3/28/2007 2:08:33 PM
Some bloke that bred Japanese akitas Edit: I can't continue this conversation as it would be deemed as going off topic but you can rest assured I am ok now and my farts have started to make a noise again within the last two years

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

i,m honest geezer promise Posted: 3/28/2007 1:57:28 PM
I used to get bummed by quite a few blokes in the local public toilets when I was under 21 but since I came of age and they got boarded up I don't really feel there is a need to tell anybody

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

dogs Posted: 3/28/2007 1:48:22 PM
what u oner bout Did you mean whip your boner out? Well whatever you meant go with the google option get them groomed by a proper Japanese dog groomer

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Judging others on the way they look Posted: 3/28/2007 12:01:45 PM
I often find that if you judge a book by the cover well then you judge the look by the lover but I hope you'll soon recover but me I go from one extreme to another

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

15 kidnapped British sailors. Is this an 'act of war' by Iran? Posted: 3/28/2007 8:58:13 AM
Maybe they are going to let go 1 at a time... Good point there willow, as there's a limit to how many people you can get on a camel without the animal rights people sticking their noses in.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Someone messages you and you don't find them attractive...what do you do? Posted: 3/28/2007 8:44:00 AM
I usually arrange to meet up with them with a promise of giving them a good seeing to and then I don't turn up so they can have an equal dose of the disappointment I felt when I opened my mail.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Im Having a Spot Of Bother With An Annoying Spot.... Posted: 3/28/2007 8:34:22 AM
It has to be the aftershave or toothpaste option but in the mean time stop going down on blokes with hairy bollocks

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

15 kidnapped British sailors. Is this an 'act of war' by Iran? Posted: 3/27/2007 3:46:36 PM
Message 5 ....if you can get hold of a copy of Saturday or Sundays Telegraph it actually explains how the situation came about using pictures, but seeing as though I only bought the paper at the time for the Paddington Bear story cd as read by Stephen Fry, then unfortunately I can't remember the ins and outs of what went on

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

dead pets Posted: 3/27/2007 2:06:40 PM
I told my son straight that "vinegar" (he named it!!!!) had died How long did it take your son to get over the fact that he'd possibley just had his last vinegar stroke ?

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

How small is our world?!?! Posted: 3/27/2007 1:53:17 PM
sorry wrong thread

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

dead pets Posted: 3/27/2007 1:27:24 PM
When I was a child my father gave me a tortoise and I loved and cherished it and was over the moon to read they lived to a ripe old age so felt really proud to pass on the responsibility of looking after it on to my son. I checked up it on it last summer and feared the worst so to save my son any potential heartache I immediatly raced to the pet shop to get an identical one and hope my son would never know the difference. I took it out of the bag and handed it to the shop keeper and explained my dilemma but he just gave me a look of despair and informed me that it was rock......I hated from father for that.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

dead pets Posted: 3/27/2007 1:01:26 PM
Haven't you got a spare merkin lying around that you can slip in the cage until you find a suitable replacement?

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

dead pets Posted: 3/27/2007 12:57:12 PM
Can't you just stitch a length of cotton to its tongue and the other end to your sock and let it follow you around the room every time the kids are about ?

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

How small is our world?!?! Posted: 3/27/2007 12:47:19 PM
I once went to Africa on a safari holiday and was made to feel most at home by a tribe of pygmies on the congo. The thing that struck me was how much like Gary Wilmot the tribal leader looked and I told him so at every given opportunity but some how he failed to see the funny side. At first I just thought he couldn't understand me, but imagine how stupid I felt when I got home and realised I'd got him confused with Lenny Henry, I'm not surprised he didn't wave me off at the airport.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Hair disasters! Posted: 3/27/2007 9:57:44 AM
Yes...I entered mine into a race across a field but felt cheated when everybody else showed up with lurchers and I ended up having to buy another one before the kids realised it was missing.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

Tattos!! Posted: 3/27/2007 9:52:58 AM
and last but not least my fav its a tigers head in the shape of a butterfly on my lower back I also have a tiger's head but it isn't permanent, infact it disappears every time I wash my underpants at the end of the week

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

comedy names.... Posted: 3/27/2007 9:34:25 AM
I can't believe Eric Morcambe hasn't had a mention yet.... or Bernie Clifton

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Hitler...If He Won The War. Posted: 3/27/2007 9:16:58 AM
Sorry foxy...yes I was talking about pof in general and the timing of my post was purely coincidental...and now back to stove...me not you...unless you're not busy and want to pop round and give me a hand to drain my spuds

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Slavery Posted: 3/27/2007 9:12:44 AM
If I had the money I wouldn't hesitate in getting myself a slave and I'm not racist so I wouldn't care if it was little honky dude or regular buckwheat, because at the end of the day as long as you treat them right and they respect you for all you do for them then it's only the same as having a butler without having to fork out for some fancy clobber.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Hitler...If He Won The War. Posted: 3/27/2007 9:04:28 AM
And who wants millions of different varieties of sausages anyway? Well there are one or two ladies I have spotted on here that look like they're up for the challange and you can take that either as food gag or a sex gag , but to remain on topic if Hitler had won the war we would no doubt have a country with a large percentage of our womenfolk looking like olympic shotputting champions....oh hang on a minute....are you sure he didn't win?

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

What class would you define yourself as and why? Posted: 3/26/2007 4:25:55 PM
Good for you tan y ddraig, you scruffy ba$tard, I used to be exactly the same as you but without the dreads, the ginger tinge and I had a job....but I miss my rebelious streak.....and hair

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Cycling To School - Yes or No!? Posted: 3/26/2007 1:17:02 AM
I don't really think the cycle lanes will do much to encourage them to cycle to school as I think the biggest discouragement is the fear of getting your bike nicked or bits stolen off it so I reckon some money should be put towards cctv in the cycle sheds as most thefts come from within the school but in saying that some pleb will come along and say you aren't allowed to video children for fear of paedophiles getting hold of the tape in the same way we are now no longer allowed to video or take pictures of our kids in the junior football leagues.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Cycling To School - Yes or No!? Posted: 3/26/2007 1:04:43 AM
Of course it's a good idea, there are certainly a lot more little fat ba$tards at school than there were in my day and if you take a look around the playground in the morning they are usually just a 'mini-me' version of their parents.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

What little things get you excited? Posted: 3/25/2007 2:35:39 PM
The sound of sausages sizzling in a non stick pan sometime on a saturday morning in springtime somewhere in the south of somerset after a sunset that made the sounds of silence sound louder than a cricket scrubbing it's back legs until the sun sets on a new tomorrow

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Anyone ever met up from here and been dissapointed? Posted: 3/25/2007 1:42:31 PM
You're a bit of a dark horse midlandstaurus, I would give my right arm to try and arrange a foursome but as yet I haven't managed to spot 3 women I fancy.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Easter eggs Posted: 3/25/2007 6:16:16 AM
You can't give them early because the ghost of Baby Jesus will haunt you for a year and all the rabbits in the world will catch mixamatosis

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

lapsing from your own moral standards Posted: 3/25/2007 5:57:29 AM
but just occasionally i break them, i regret and feel disappointed with myself, sometimes feel disgust also Don't beat yourself up over such trivial matters mate, it was only a wank on web cam, you aren't the first and you wont be the last, but for God's sake make an effort and wear a clean vest next time.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

An old bath Posted: 3/24/2007 6:10:18 PM
Just take a dump in the bath, we all know it's something we have always wanted to do but there's a stigma attached to doing it in your own bathroom so it's a perfect opportunity to live out your fantasy

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Childhood Toys !! Posted: 3/24/2007 5:45:39 PM
bright orange with long twisted ears that were used as handles... omg this has brought back many memories So you've bedded Dale Winton, big deal, come back when you've had Mick Hucknall

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

hairy face Posted: 3/24/2007 10:21:20 AM
Perhaps you should just have a girlie night in and play with wax. That's a bit harsh georgiangirl, I didn't think she was implying her friend had a large Jimmy Edwards style moustache and suggesting she wax the tips would probably cause a strain on their friendship. I don't mind moustaches on women as long as they don't make that velcro sound everytime my knob goes in and out of her mouth, then again, I suppose I could always wax.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Hair of the dog Posted: 3/24/2007 10:13:32 AM
I think you will find that when drinking foreign beer such as stella, it is known as cheveux du chien, so if a policeman repremands you for being drunk in charge of a vehicle be it a car or a bicycle or bicyclette, simply answer all his questions in French (yes I know it's a Belguim beer but they don't have that as an option on my translator) and you should find he will let you off with a warning as he is unable to write anything down as he wont be able to understand you. Now once he has agreed to let you off always ensure you peddle off on the wrong side of the road for authenticity but watch out for the tricky ones that might shout 'goodbye ' hoping you answer in English like that poor geezer in The Great Escape when he was nearly home free on the train.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

How comes the Americans have more sucess stories? Posted: 3/24/2007 3:08:32 AM
How comes the Americans have more sucess stories? Because everybody that announces they have met the love of their life on the UK forums is back posting as a singleton 3 weeks later, feel free to mail me for a list of names or if you just fancy having 21 day shag fest

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

AM I TOO YOUNG??? Posted: 3/24/2007 2:43:59 AM
some young girls at the last Leeds one. so u gone down very well I don't think you were paying attention the guy said he didn't want one night flings Go for it mate and dont forget your ID and wear long pants just in case and maybe even grow one of those fluffy little tashes just to be on the safe side

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Idols. Posted: 3/23/2007 5:18:34 PM
I never saw it as entertainment either then or now, I just thought it was a great line to attract girls...... so how big are your tits love? Edit: It's ok, you could just mail me in private to say they are small

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

The book in you Posted: 3/23/2007 5:04:23 PM
'How To Find Happiness Deep Within' by Justin Farenuff...published in paperback, rolled up, bound by elastic bands and well greased

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Idols. Posted: 3/23/2007 4:58:30 PM
Bobby Davro or that guy that used to move his shoulder blades in time to the music on Opportunity Knocks, and I mean that most sincerely folks

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Advice needed.. Posted: 3/23/2007 6:49:09 AM
Oi!!!!! Come back mate I was joking, just don't ask people for advice and be yourself ,because if you start trying to be something that you're not on the back of someone elses advice then you are just heading for a fall. Rule number 1, ditch the self pity stuff, if they don't reply it's because you have nothing in common. Chin up and have a wank till you meet that special someone....I don't mean non stop obviously, make sure you stop for meals and work and when you're on the bus and stuff.

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Advice needed.. Posted: 3/23/2007 6:41:35 AM
Hi danster72, you are spot on, there's plenty wrong with you so I'll help by saying no 1 is your dress sense, no 2 your hairstyle in pic 3 and and no 3 that fence needs creosoting

subliminaldave

Joined: 2/9/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

comedy names.... Posted: 3/23/2007 6:22:59 AM
I found it unbeleivable that my local butcher was called Harry C0cksausage and that the greencrocer's name was Bruce Dapple and not forgetting the lady from the local branch of the BNP who went by the name of Olivia Ferkoffoam.

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