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 Author Thread: When he doesnt want to touch anything but your nipples
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
When he doesnt want to touch anything but your nipples
Posted: 1/20/2013 2:56:14 PM
Are u saying he wont give u oral sex? Hell, if u cant verbalize it here, Im sure u aren't able to tell him, and therefore u are not being pleased.... How about u tell him he literally needs to kiss ur ass......LITERALLY...KISS....UR....ASS...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Why Is It So Hard To Meet White Guys...
Posted: 1/20/2013 2:44:43 PM
Well, I have never dated outside my race, but lately I have been up to the idea. Most of my girlfriends date white guys. Any ways, white guys hit me up ALL THE TIME. I looked at your profile, I don't see anything wrong with it. And the thing about having natural hair and wearing tight clothes is BS!! White men who are into black women, are into black women because they like the way black women look. Men in general like things that are DIFFERENT. I mean, and I hate to sound crass, but if u have ever watched gay porn, u will see that men are in to all types of shit, and as a woman, it has help me let my inhibitions come down. Men are what they are, but trust me, u don't have to change anything about u, and u don't have to advertise that u like white men, thats stupid!! If u see a guy that catches ur eye, then make ur presence know.
 _passionflower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What does my ex want for us? I am a little confused!
Posted: 1/20/2013 6:56:32 AM
Well, the more I read ur responses, the more I see u are in love and delusional and u are sounding desperate. I mean, its one thing to want to be with this woman, but its another thing to just sit back and do nothing. You need to either get with the program and start dating other people or break up, because ur going to make urself sick obsessing over her....and we all know that is not going to end well...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
You know you should run, but yet you stay
Posted: 1/20/2013 6:12:17 AM
Well seeing how u knew this from day one, I would say this is ur fault....Its not like he was deceptive and lead u on...u knew from the beginning and chose to be a part of this mess....You can stay, u can go....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What does my ex want for us? I am a little confused!
Posted: 1/20/2013 5:50:07 AM
OMG!!! This is me and my guy....check out this song called "Im Stuck" by the band, The Heavy. The whole album is good. As far as ur situation goes.....IDK, its a hard nut to crack. Your head says to STOP, ur heart says no....The thing is that u guys are in an open relationship even tho u may or may not want to be in one. She is being honest with u to a certain point... My guy is honest with me and it breaks my heart, but how can I be mad? I on the other hand have been deceptive, I don't want to tell him about my "play dates", WHY???? Because I only want to be with him. He has told me to date others, yet he wont let me go. He gets jealous sometimes and demanding. We see each other 2-4 times a week...IDK....Im stuck too.....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How do i move on or better yet get him back
Posted: 1/18/2013 10:34:52 AM
Well it seems as tho u are all about making excuses....Contraception if used correctly, CORRECTLY, is 99% EFFECTIVE, so there is less than a 1% chance of it not working. And sweetie, birthcontrol has been on the market for a LONG time, so that right there says that it is VERY EFFECTIVE when used CORRECTLY. The bottom line is u want this guy, and u will make any excuse to get and or keep him....trust me, I been there...I loved a man so much I got down on my knees in the dirt and begged him to stay. So u can save all the BS. You will do what u want to do, but no one here is going to co sign on u throwing ur life away because u want an "ideal" family. Loving ur child, going to school, and focusing on ur well being is all the excuses u should be making. Anything that gets in the way of that is BullShit!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How do i move on or better yet get him back
Posted: 1/18/2013 10:16:30 AM
You can go back and forth on this for years....I was married to a womanizer for 16 yrs, with him since im 18 yrs old, and every 2 yrs like clock work he would tell me he had a baby on the way by another woman....He never cared for those children, he just deposited his sperm and left those babies like shit in a stool....Yet, I felt like me and my kids were special all the while I stayed and started adapting to the bullshit...I eventually started cheating....So the moral of this story is if u accept him and his warts and u know what lies ahead and ur OK with it, then go for it....But if u want to save ur self some pain, I say move on. Its ur choice....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Helping to keep a New Years' Resolution...
Posted: 1/18/2013 8:11:31 AM
You sound like a control freak.....Im sorry, but I think if u keep pushing this issue new cracks will start to emerge in ur relationship...... And stop coming the the forums for advice on ur relationship, thats so damn tacky!!! If I were her I would be pissed that ur putting her business out for the world to see.....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Helping to keep a New Years' Resolution...
Posted: 1/18/2013 7:50:50 AM
Look dude, stop trying to change her. You made a line in the sand, ie, your boundary, so now that she has "crossed" ur boundary, instead of doing what u said, which is not to deal with a smoker, but instead u try to make her change for u. Bottom line is u have boundaries, she crossed them, now stick to ur guns and stop making new boundaries, stop drawing new lines in the sand!!!! Or leave her be and let her focus on what she needs to do in order to graduate, and just deal with it if u feel she is worth it, but STOP NAGGING HER!!!!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why do women think all men are stupid?
Posted: 1/17/2013 10:32:41 PM
I think the same thing when I look at some womens profiles....I think they are a bit high strung, but at least they are putting it out there for u men to know. FAMILY FIRST!! Isnt that the basic core of most people.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
drink and smoke, frequency vs amount
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:48:44 PM
Im an honest person, however I have a hard time with the truth, for its subjective.....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
drink and smoke, frequency vs amount
Posted: 1/17/2013 9:23:56 PM
just put socially for drinking, and occasionally for smoking....stop over thinking it.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Being played for a fool.
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:43:22 PM
^^^^^ Its called girl power and we girls have to support one another....Just like u guys up hold the bulls-h-i-t you lay on women, we have to uplift each other when the wolves come a'callin!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Being played for a fool.
Posted: 1/17/2013 6:34:55 PM
Oh my sweet lady....Online dating is full of wolves in sheeps clothing.... I fear u may be in over ur head....If u chose to stay with this, ur going to have to get ur sea legs about u and learn that not everyone has ur best interest at heart. You have to protect ur self, and that means listening to ur gut instants. I know ur instincts may be a little rusty considering u have just come out of a relationship. What I would suggest for u is to meet and greet with a few men at the same time. In this way u will see how different men behave. Right now u don't have anyone to compare this jerk to, so u may feel this is normal, but it is not. But the thing is, even those of us who are experienced still fall for these wolves, so don't feel bad. I feel like a fella will come along, u seem like a sweet person, good luck.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Chatting between setting up a meeting and the meet up
Posted: 1/17/2013 4:32:03 PM
u have to keep the sexual tension going, if u drop the ball, then there isnt any anticipation.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Cold turkey conversations..
Posted: 1/17/2013 4:30:07 PM
4-5 days in my opinion is too long to be emailing. If ur feeling the girl its best to get the number and or ask her out.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
does honesty really matter
Posted: 1/17/2013 4:28:41 PM
Ur truth may not gel well with their truth, ie "perception".....I find it best to stick to safe subject and get a feel for the other person and then proceed from there.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Drunk Dialling/Texting..
Posted: 1/17/2013 4:07:56 PM
Drunk texting/calling is for amatures! Its like blaming it on the alcohol when u hook up with random people. I just dont buy into that type of thinking. If ur a sober whore, u will be a drunk whore. If u play games when ur sober, u will play games when ur drunk...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How do I handle being stood up
Posted: 1/17/2013 4:04:31 PM
I was stood up once. It was when I first joined this site after being single for 2 yrs. We had emailed, texted, video chatted, and talked over the span of a wk. We set a date to meet....I got dolled up, and the jackass flaked on me! I was so pissed! I of course sent him some msgs going off on him, he never replied. After another week, he hit me up asking me if I was "OK". Any way, he goes on to say that I must have been really upset and obviously didnt have a boyfriend because I had been so passionate and emotional when he stood me up. Well, he asked me out. I let him sit on ice for a day, and then I told him the time and place. Well, I STOOD HIS ASS UP!!! He called and called, I sent his ass straight to voicemail. After an hour, I answered his call, and he was all to ready to meet me where ever I had suggested. I did meet up with him, and he was/ is a good man. We went out for 6 months, but I messed it up because I was torn between two lovers...he left me alone, but I do miss him....So, the moral of the story is REJECTION IS GODS PROTECTION!!
 _passionflower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Too old? No - too young
Posted: 1/17/2013 2:14:29 PM
^^^^ My gma told me not to step in S_H_I_T that already stinks, so Im go ahead leave this issue alone. Good luck, lady!
 _passionflower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Too old? No - too young
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:10:56 PM
Curviest, u are projecting too much of ur insecurities at the possibilities of an older/younger "hook up". Dont dismiss it because u are not secure enough to try it. I have dealt with some young fellas, and I truly enjoy them, their stamina, and their need to prove themselves. Todays young men are not like yesterdays young men, these guys could teach u a little something, however in defense of the older guys...I appreciate their gentleness and experience. So the moral of the story is ALL men have something t0 bring to the table, u just have to appreciate each for who and what he is.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Are we turned off people who remind us of our worst traits..?
Posted: 1/17/2013 11:28:20 AM
well, if ur theory holds weight, this would explain why I always deal with concieted, selfish, self absorbed, depressed, cash strapped whores.....Im attracting myself.

This transparency thing dont feel so good...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Where are the men who want a new family?
Posted: 1/16/2013 5:01:31 AM
If they are like me, they will accept children, but they just don't want to have any more. If the guy Im dealing with has kids, I will accept them, but bottom line is, Im not birthing anymore babies....AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR ALL THAT!! LOL


My man told me God made young girls to have babies for a reason.....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why do people wait so long to take a chance?
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:55:52 AM
^^^^ I must say this is the 1st time I've seen u be so raw in ur emotion. More emotion, and less words on a page...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
ready for the next step but the other person isn't? what to do?
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:47:13 AM
My best advise is to give this dude ur ass to kiss. When it comes to this push/pull relationships its all about control. Neither of u is ready to surrender because neither of u trust the other. When he acts out, u pull back, when u act up, he comes running, and the cycle continues. As long as u don't show his ass any attention, he will come running, but as soon as u let ur guard down, he pulls back.....If he were serious, and if he loved u, he would CLING to u, not pull back. Men inlove are worse than women....they want the whole world to know. Don't waste ur time, I know its easier said than done, but I JUST, JUST ended this type of relationship. And the more he treated me like shit, the more I ran, bent over backwards, and adjusted to the bullshit. Homegirl, DONT DO IT!!!!! Let his ass go or play him the way he is trying to play u....Trust me, he's trying to Jedi mindtrick u.....
 _passionflower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
If POF allows one to select not looking for date, why some people can't accept that in here?
Posted: 1/15/2013 4:30:19 PM
chatting inquires being/getting involved emotionally, chatting with out a physical connection is useless....AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR ALL THAT!!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What's wrong with women these days
Posted: 1/13/2013 10:08:22 PM
Trust me, its not just women, but men act this way as well. And its not just the young ones, the older ones act just as flaky...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
What's the real problem? Tired of banging my head..
Posted: 1/13/2013 8:03:40 PM
go to baggagereclaim.com. this website is SO helpful!!!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
how much
Posted: 1/13/2013 10:13:20 AM
But my philosophy has always been I DONT DRESS FOR THE WEATHER, I DRESS FOR WHATEVER!!!! I always keep my nails and toes clean, so its not like Im doing anything extra. I groom weekly, so again, Im not going above and beyond. I think we as women have regularly scheduled maintenance that needs to be done regardless if we have a date or not.....just basic hygiene.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Relationship Apathy
Posted: 1/13/2013 5:10:53 AM
Im naturally a healer/fixer as well. Its like I want their pain to go away, so I absorb it, yet it leaves me feeling overwhelmed with emotion and I have no place to dump it, but back in their laps, or internalize it, and we all know, they don't want that shit back... thats why they gave it to me, so they could feel free. I do want a man who has my back, who cares about my well being, who genuinely wants to hear my boring stories, etc. When u figure it out, please let me know...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Relationship Apathy
Posted: 1/13/2013 4:40:15 AM
I've been keeping up with the thread becasue u seem like the male me.....your thoughts, concerns, and the fact that you are really trying to figure it out. I dont have a lot of money, but I seem to attract and am attracted to men with even less money, or when they get access to money, they hardly ever spend it with or on me. I find my self resenting them, but mad at myself more for allowing myself to be so damn gulible. I hate that I have a big heart. I hate that I like sex. I hate that I need/want a man..................yet, I get back up and dust myself off, and love, love, and love some more. UGH!!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
She wants to be just friends. Is there a chance for more?
Posted: 1/12/2013 6:21:15 PM
I was like this with a guy. He wanted a relationship, I was not attracted to him, but I liked to hang out with him as a back up. He wasnt having any parts of that, so he changed his number and left me alone. I completely understood, however I was a bit pissed, lol. But I understood his motives. He didnt want to be my friend, and I didnt want to be his lover...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Relationship Apathy
Posted: 1/11/2013 4:23:09 PM
A man inlove doesnt give a damn about being vulnerable or have a fear of being hurt. I feel " some" men use the excuses you mentioned as a way to keep women at bay. I think it has to do with fearing that they are settling and something better will come along. You see some of the ugliest people who are in commited relationships. And if truth be told, I feel the apathy comes into play when men/women are dating too many people at the same time and when the time comes to "pay the piper", they take and run for the hills....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Relationship Apathy
Posted: 1/11/2013 3:55:38 PM
Yes, I suffer from apathy, only because those I have dealt with "lose intrest" after a couple of magical weeks/month and realize they want their space back...
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How do I make her feel like the only girl in the world?
Posted: 1/11/2013 3:36:59 PM
Like the song in the movie "Grease"....be "Hopelessly Devoted" to her!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where will this relationship go?
Posted: 1/11/2013 8:11:03 AM
She's insecure, and sounds like a manipulator....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
just wondering
Posted: 1/10/2013 5:40:48 PM
My advice is to get out there and start dating. Its no time like the present, and dont read into too much of these forums. Just get ur sea legs and start living again!!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Walking in on a date in the bathroom?
Posted: 1/7/2013 10:49:38 PM
personally, i feel naked if im in the bathroom by myself. when im in the tub and hes on the toliet, im happy. When im brushing my teeth and he's in the shower, im happy, when im taking a dump and hes in the shower, im happy.......i like doing the bathroom tango!!!!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Can 2 people truly fall in love in a long distance relationship?
Posted: 1/7/2013 10:28:04 PM
I dont see why not....a lot of men are getting caught up in this new phenom of being emotionally invested with one lady, via texts and talk, while laying beside another lady.....and his response is, " but baby, im here with u!!!" TOTAL RUBBISH!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Should I mind my own business?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:43:41 PM
I think u should stick ur nose all up in his business and make ur presence known. Stop hiding in the shadows!! Let us know how all this plays out....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
When is it time to hang it up?
Posted: 1/4/2013 2:55:37 PM
This has been my motto since I was in my early 20's and Im sharing it with my daughter's. " I DONT DRESS FOR THE WEATHER, I DRESS FOR WHATEVER!!." Of course there are times when I have to tone it down, but for the most part, I dress how ever I please.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Have you lost a close friend because of a relationship choice?
Posted: 1/4/2013 2:51:33 PM
I have had my family relationship strained because I stayed with an idiot. My family was supportive and also gave me hell...But they were right in the end, he was a loser!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Is she asking to much to soon?
Posted: 1/3/2013 5:02:32 PM
she wants u to carry the child and she wants u to propose to her??? im confused, who is the girl and who is the "boy". seems to me like she is the "man" and u are the girl, and her actions are not going along with her words....she is still confused.....she should know her place at this point in her sexual career, lol. Is she Ellen or Portia????
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Should I feel guilty?
Posted: 12/30/2012 8:13:23 AM
look, its really about u and ur conscience. i have done exactly what u have done, and i have felt exactly how ur feeling now, but it doesn't change how u feel for this other girl. obviously ur not a total sociopath, for u are remorseful. just keep ur mouth closed or tell her, ur choice..... be kind to ur new lady friend, and good luck!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Did i dodge a bullet or loose out because im disabled ?
Posted: 12/30/2012 7:23:44 AM
he's "grooming" u as his next mark. he sounds like a psychopath and u are feeding into his bullshit. he's testing to see how badly u want him. he's actually assessing ur weaknesses and insecurities, and ur showing him ur hand. he's a master manipulator, and ur on ur way to being played. u are falling for an illusion, and once he gets what he wants from u, he will abandon u. u are a part of the trio he is working with. right now u are in the grooming stage, he has one girl whom he has already abandoned, but keeps her around unless the other 2 don't work out. he has one he is about to abandon, but she don't know it yet, and then there is u, the one he is grooming......continue on at ur on will, but u have been warned!!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
In need of advice on dating someone older than me.
Posted: 12/27/2012 5:48:09 PM
its not that serious unless u make it serious. i prefer younger men....
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Dating a recovering addict.
Posted: 12/24/2012 9:15:37 AM
In my experience, I feel like you may need to take out more time for yourself, but thats my opinion. I have 1st had experience with this situation, and its really up to you how u handle it. For some people its therapeutic to tell every one they deal with that they are an ex addict, and for other's they wait to disclose that kind of info. Its really a personal choice. In the mean time, u have to focus on u. I hate to say this, but u have to be VERY SELFISH when it comes to ur recovery, meaning NOTHING and NOBOBY can come between u and ur sobriety. If u are triggered in any sort of way, u must pray, just call out the name of the LORD. You will also have to have adopt other ways of coping with stress. Hobbies, prayer, sponsor, etc. Relapses happen,......its not a sin to fall down, its a sin to stay down. So just get back up and keep it moving. I have 12yrs clean, it is possible. Good luck!!
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Dedications
Posted: 12/24/2012 9:04:05 AM
" It Don't Hurt Now", by Teddy Pendergrass
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Lengthy first messages
Posted: 12/23/2012 10:40:08 PM
I look for humor. I dislike long ones, for I feel obligated to return a long reply, when I may not be feeling them like that. Short one are ok, but I again, mirror their msg; if its one worded, I reply one worded. So in conclusion, I look for funny yet simple.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Rejecting someone nicely
Posted: 12/18/2012 12:19:08 AM
In the last 3 weeks Ive been called a D tease by 6 different guys. I know what the problem is, Im still involve with my ex and I cant seal the deal. I hate that crap too. Im ready to move on, but I look at these guys and I start to pick them apart in my head. And after a date or 2, I will just say, " Im not having sex with u".....that usually does it. No more walking me to the door, or car, or checking to make sure I made it home. They drop my ass like a hot potato! LOL. But its all good. I know once I get my ex out of my system I will be whole again. And as far as leading these guys on, if they weren't after my goodies only, and gave a damn about my well being, then they would have been more understanding, so really, I dodged a bullet!!
 
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