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OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Is the meaning the same for you fella's Posted: 12/1/2007 1:57:43 PM
"Hang out" is a rather loose term whose definition is very malleable and determinant upon many different variables. For the younger crowd, one can say hanging out means that they (1) are having sex without any conditions attached to it or (2) are just spending time with each other in a non relationship manner. Since non-relationship based sex is so prevelent, I have found that "hang out" often means sex more than anything else. For me, hanging out means that we go do things together without me having to worry about a relationship. Friendship might ultimately happen. There may be a desire or opportunity for sex...but that is not the overriding goal. In fact, sex is the last thing on my mind (in a hang out situation) because sex almost leads to a person wanting a relationship. Frankly, I do not like the vagueness of "hanging out" with a person. At least you know better what you are getting if you find someone wanting to "date" or something of that nature. Generally speaking, instead of trying to mind read...talk to the person!

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

What would you expect? Posted: 12/1/2007 1:46:54 PM
Why are you even asking for advice on this? You should have enough self respect to just walk away from that.

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

how do i tell him Posted: 12/1/2007 1:44:13 PM
Just be honest and talk with him.

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Raising a man as a single mother any advice welcome Posted: 8/12/2007 7:23:06 PM
In regards to him getting out of line, I would say that you stay firm with him and hold your line. In fact, do not worry about being too firm with him. In male psychology, he needs this more than you know.

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Are aggressive gals a turn-on or turn-off? Posted: 8/12/2007 12:35:07 AM
To answer your question bluntly, "YES IT IS A TURN ON!!!!!" I hate to "scream" with the caps, and it really wasn't directed so much at you as it is to a given mindset. It would appear that women are more and more trying to make men conform to the way women work and think. Think of it this way, what are women almost always superior to men at? Socializing! Women are the ones that pick up on subtle hints and cues. Women are the ones that try to keep the piece. Women are the ones that talk about their emotions and try to use words and feelings over anything else. But guys...what are we good at? Men deal well with the physical world. When one thinks of sports, men almost always automatically pop to mind. When people think of building, working out, making money, etc. a man is almost automatically pictured as the one doing this. When guys are playing sports, do you ever see them talking over their emotions? No, you see them slapping each other on the back and rump. When two guys are having beers or a group is watching a game, do you ever see them talking about how they feel? Again, no you do not. Men are predispositioned to aggression. We tend to do better when things are blunt and obvious. The other day a girl lightly punched me in the gut and then had me take her to eat. Whereas a woman would think that as rude, I thought of that as extremely sexy. In fact, her aggression towards me allowed me to assert myself a little more later on that day. By the end of the night, we were all lovey dovey. It is all a game. Get the man's attention, hit him with some dominance, have him thump his chest back, do this back and forth a few times, then hit him with some softness. Trust me, a guy will fall for it every time.

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Raising a man as a single mother any advice welcome Posted: 8/12/2007 12:16:53 AM
In your case, you seem to be doing the best that you can and have taken a lot into consideration. However, if the truth were to be told, 15 is too late in the game to be trying to polish up your son as a man. True manhood starts young....real young! The rest of this is not so much for you as it is for other women out there... I know so many messed up young men who never had a positive male influence in their life. I also know many young men who never had a male influence in their life and they are well adapted. Talking to them, I have found that the key seems to be whether or not mom (1) was stern and (2) had multiple boyfriends over. Boys need discipline and boundarys. Moreover, any young kid needs stability in their life. I cannot tell you how sickening it is for me to have a woman talk to me and then the next thing I know she is trying to have me meet and interact with her kids. I say it is sickening because I just met her and now I am just one of many guys that this poor child has been subjected to. Worse yet, these women will leave me with their children alone! Which, that brings up whole volumns of red flag issues to my mind. It is far better to wait long periods of time before you let your children even know about a new guy in your life. Keep their world solely focused to you and them. Be there for them...not the guy. I saw a post that was downing men because they did not want to be a positive male role model for these fatherless children. And, I have been approached personally to be a Big Brother, a mentor, etc. for these fatherless children. When I turned down these people, I received such a negative response that you would think that I was the deadbeat dad that they were trying to get me to fill in for. Just understand that it is unnatural for a man to take over the role of "dad" to another man's children. True, I know of many guys who have been more of a dad than the kid's own father ever was. However, these people are the exception and not the rule. Men and women have two different minds and two different instincts. But, getting back to your original post, kudos to you. Keep up the good work and talk to your son as often as you can. I think he will be okay.

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

What do you think about lower back tattoos? Posted: 8/11/2007 11:58:45 PM
Frankly, they don't call them a "Tramp Stamp" for nothing. Really, no matter how nice and all that you are, the cultural concensus is that lower back tatoos are trashy. Have I dated girls that had them? Yes, I surely have. Moreover, I would date a girl if she had one. The key to it all is that if someone made a comment about "tramp stamps" and she took offense to it...I would not be in her corner. Just realize that every action that you take has a responsibility owed up to it. If you decide to go down that path then do not take offense if someone downs people that has lower back tatoos. Better yet, don't get your man involved if you are hot and bothered over some negative comment about it.

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Unattractive Body and Love? Posted: 8/11/2007 11:47:31 PM
I have been told that I have a nasty habit for telling the truth. So, here it goes... Does your man probably think that your "wobbly bits" are a bit unattractive. The simple answer is "yes, he probably does." It is male nature to want a woman with the perfect body. Whether a man says it or not, there is always something that he doesn't really care for in his girl. For some, it may be a crooked tooth or a scar or even "wobbly bits" as you so colorfully put it. Is your man overlooking your flaws because you connect so well in other areas. The simple answer to this is a resounding "YES!" Again, it is male nature to overlook minor things in order to attain the major things that we want or need. Guys have historically been the "do-ers" of our culture where women are more of the socialites. Both men and women compromise but we vary differently in how and why we do it. I will tell you something else that you may not be aware of. The young guys are mostly interested in looks. As a guy gets older, the hormones stop raging so hard and we start to concern ourselves more with what a woman says, what she thinks, and how she holds herself. Have you thought that maybe your unhappiness is unattractive to your man? Do you realize how much a guy hates for a woman to point out her flaws, ask a guy his opinion, and then call him a liar afterwards? After a while, it starts to be a sore subject for a guy and the woman looks less and less attractive. Jack Pallance, a great actor who has now passed on, once said that "Confidence is sexy." My advice to you is to be more confident around your man. If your man loves you, and you love your man, then let that be a source of great pride for the both of you. Continue to work out and all if you are unhappy with the way you look. However, when you are around your man think about dressing sexy or being a little more adventuresome with clothing (or lack thereof). Let him know that you love him and that his love for you is all that you need. Trust me, guys need assurance too.

OutLaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Computer Shuts Down Window Posted: 7/9/2007 7:54:10 PM
Everytime I try to reply to a message, my computer gets an error about how there is corrupt data from the site's server, that I should contact the site's server for messages, and then it shuts down my window when I hit the "OK" icon. What is going on here?

Outlaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 110 (view)

why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks Posted: 4/14/2007 2:33:44 PM
I have to say that I have met more rude women online than I have in some other venue. I messaged one lady telling her that she had some lovely pictures...she replied "of course someone like you would not understand such things" along with a montage of other insults and then said "women should not have to be treated this way." The more I deal with online dating...the more I realize why some of these people are looking online...they'd get slapped or have a drink slung in their face for such an uncalled for attitude. So, I guess it is on all sides....a sad testimony to how our culture is going down the tubes.

Outlaw32583

Joined: 2/10/2007

Msg: 241 (view)

Why don't men like smart women? Posted: 4/1/2007 7:32:55 PM
You know, I have dated many intelligent ladies before. I have found that the ones that claim they cannot find/keep a man because of a hatred of female intelligence...often they have character flaws that have nothing to do with intelligence. Not saying that this is the case for you...just stating that this is a pattern that I have seen over time. I have no problem getting into a political discussion. I loved heated debates. I have no problem discussing philosophy and religion. The arts, music, architecture...no problem! Where my problem lies is when I open a door for a lady and she takes offense...where I pay for a meal and a woman claims that I have stepped all over her civil liberties...where my disagreement of her ideas is a form of "male oppression" or some other BS. I have come to have a certain policy...if a woman says she is crazy...I believe her! If a woman says tells me that she is smart and cannot keep a man because of her intelligence...I avoid her just like I do the self-labeled crazy woman. Why can people just be who they are? There is a saying that I teach in some of my classes...the first time something happens is just luck, the second time is mere coincidence, but the third time is a pattern and once you learn a pattern then you can predict, promote, thwart, and control what happens in the future. I'm not saying...I am just saying.

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