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Thread: My boyfriend is the only friend in depression

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

My boyfriend is the only friend in depression Posted: 6/6/2010 7:44:33 AM
I don't think your b/f over-reacted at all. In fact, it is you that is inconsiderate. Do you really think his friend wants to be meeting 'new friends' while in HOSPICE CARE?? Unless the friend asked your b/f to bring you around -- then stay away and don't be asking to 'tag along'. Especially if the person hasn't communicated with anyone for several years... Do you really think that YOU are that interesting and entertaining or special that she would ignore the fact that she hasn't been interested in talking to anyone since her accident ???

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 338 (view)

rich man poor man and how they treat you Posted: 4/18/2010 7:36:04 PM
As my momma used to tell me: "Its just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor man.." All to say, men are men.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 108 (view)

They Run Away Posted: 3/29/2010 8:09:36 PM
@The original OP Sorry ... I would run run run if I met a guy with 5 kids. Not only can I imagine the chaos in that household which is frightening..... but I am really not interested in helping to support someone else's kids -- or supporting you so that you can support your 5 kids. Sorry. Kids aren't cheap.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 107 (view)

They Run Away Posted: 3/29/2010 8:05:56 PM
@Guyd I'm with the other posters -- it ain't your looks that is holding your dating life back, but your attitude towards others, and in particular, women. Perhaps when you were 'banging all those women' in university, you may have looked a little deeper to find they had personalities and maybe even some feelings. I dare say, I try to refrain from dating a guy who refers to 'banging' women. I don't think you are much better than those women you are criticizing. Second, with all your troubled tales with women in the past, there is one common denominator -- YOU. You may gain a little insight as to 'why this continually happens to you' by looking at your own conduct and attitudes. And finally, I'm turning 41 ..very soon and I was in a bikini the other night. As well, I will be wearing one shortly when I take my trip south (as we Canadians do). I don't put a picture up because I am really here only for the forums and don't want the 'shallow men' to email me asking me rude questions. However, in my real life ... I date here and there ..and will even date those who are not models. The reality of dating over 40 is that most individuals have become pretty settled, solidified values, attitudes, life, routines, and it is difficult to mesh 'two of those kinds of people' together. Quite frankly, I much prefer to spend a night at a close friends place catching up ..drinking..laughing .. then the unfamiliarity and getting through the initial uncomfortableness of 'trying to get to know someone' new on a date. And even those 'non-model' types, are just as bad as the model-types -- they are always on the lookout and will jump at the next best ... I'm too old and know I'm just fine on my own to let some guy disrespect -- in any minute way. Yeah -- my shit stinks but I am NOT putting up with your shit either.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

Ummm..I hope that this is the right place to ask this??? Posted: 2/20/2010 8:04:07 PM
Yup! How astute of you!! To the poster who thought "aroundness" was cute and ORIGINAL. He was not being original.....Jerry Seinfeld was on Oprah the same day or day before and used the EXACT term to describe his wife. Please see my earlier post.

RAINY mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 132 (view)

Bachelor's Degree superiority complex... Posted: 2/14/2010 7:23:31 PM
OP, Education is a "signal" to employers that an individual and/or job applicant has a certain ability. Without benefit of more information, the employer requires 'something' to base their hiring decision and assign a price/wage as well as before investing great expense in training etc. Thus, Education is the 'signal' (Michael Spence, 1973). For a cursory understanding of the whole theory, check out Wikipedia... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_%28economics%29 (Note: Please do not use Wikipedia as a reference for any of your term papers!) To relate it to dating, I approach it in a similar fashion... Education sends a message to me with respect to a potential dating partner. A person's educational achievements (or lack thereof) tell me they are or will be productive and will be compensated in kind with a decent wage, they can finish 'something', they are curious/interested, they are motivated, etc. etc. Before investing my time or energy in this relationship, I will use 'education as a signal' and use it like a potential employer would. I don't have unlimited emotional, time, and other resources so I am going to put what I do have for the greatest and most "certain" return (I hope!) Yes, I will agree there are the 'one-offs' that fall outside of the curve (i.e. the Bill Gates, Steve Jobs) and who do well without formal education, but let's be honest -- they are the Exceptions! In a similar vein, I will also use a criminal record, as a signal too -- and I don't care how much you say you are 'reformed', I will simply not be interested and will not pursue a relationship with you. Don't underestimate the value of that piece of paper. It says a lot about a person with only three words "Bachelor of ...." Can your "resume of experience' send the same succinct message? Just something to think about and a different way of looking at education. Fortunately, I have both - the experience to go along with my Master's of TP.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Being unemployed and trying to date...... Posted: 1/6/2010 3:39:29 PM
Maybe you should focus on finding a job instead of finding a girlfriend. I would question your judgment and your priorities...... just saying.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

judging over schools.. wow Posted: 12/29/2009 4:36:35 PM
^^^^^^^^ what he said. I could sorta understand if she actually WENT or GRADUATED from the school....

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 7:42:12 PM
I vote that you should stay with him, but insist he remove his profile and pics off ANY dating website. I love it when you women keep these idiots around and off the market! That is, just one less idiot or a** that I could possibly run into or have contact me on a dating site because he is throwing his tantrums with YOU! Fool Fool Fool!

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 178 (view)

What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months? Posted: 10/8/2009 7:24:00 PM
It sounds to me like the grass wasn't sooo green after all. You were put on the back burner while she went 'exploring' and now, you're being moved to the front burner again. Of course, if you allow her to do this, she will repeat this again again. Keep moving forward. They are an 'ex' for a reason. You deserve better.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Sex with ex who has a boyfriend Posted: 10/8/2009 7:10:24 PM
Am I getting or missing something ... this man who was at one time your bestfriend, ..and now is with your ex? If I read this right, it would appear that your 'old best friend' didn't have a problem taking your 'seconds' or worried about how you might feel -- so why do you care about him? Or did you feel horrible that you fell for her ...O-N-E M-O-R-E T-I-M-E.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

I like her,....but.. Posted: 10/1/2009 5:05:58 PM
1. I'm quite a quiet guy & she is very outgoing, so she often ends up in situations which I get dragged into where I think "WTF am I doing here.?" 2. She can be rather patronising in her attitude towards me and this really pisses me off, talking to me like I am ten years old does not resonate well. So you generally like hanging out with this girl, but there are two problems. Before cutting her loose entirely, ..why not COMMUNICATE your feelings to her and give her the opportunity to stop patronizing you, (from your perspective). Maybe she doesn't even realize how she is talking to you and/or how you feel. Her mind-reading ball is BROKEN! With respect to your first problem, grow some ka-una's and stop 'allowing' her to drag to places. Alternatively, you can again COMMUNICATE this issue and work out a compromise of sorts. Why does everyone want to break up so quickly? Is there no such thing as working on a relationship....

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Meeting her other suitors? - wtf Posted: 9/20/2009 9:38:12 AM
I'm trying to understand why you stayed for the evening? Why didn't you just drop her off with the take-out, and politely excuse yourself given she had made other plans without informing you. Instead, you stayed? Wow!!

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

A Fish from the Pond lands in the Fryer -- eer, Big House. Posted: 9/1/2009 3:11:33 PM
This story was taken from the Ottawa Citizen. The lady met him on POF. http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/Conman+sentenced+years+Internet+dating+scam/1951201/story.html Conman sentenced to 3 years for Internet dating scam By Andrew Seymour, The Ottawa CitizenSeptember 1, 2009 2:02 PM OTTAWA — A “not overly attractive” but “very polished” career con man who preys on vulnerable older women he meets through Internet dating sites has been sentenced to three years in prison after defrauding an Ottawa florist. Duncan James Ryan, 48, admitted Tuesday that he defrauded Carole Ferrari of $7,800 in July 2008 after portraying himself as a labour lawyer for Air Canada who had connections in the Canada Revenue Agency that could help resolve a tax issue involving the woman’s business. Court heard Ryan met Ferrari, who had recently separated from her husband, on the online dating site, plentyoffish.com. It was just the latest scam for the con man, whose own brother described him in court documents as a “nuisance, predator and manipulator” who has “left a trail of victims, hurt and pain” wherever he has lived. An Ottawa police officer told the court Ryan is wanted in cities across Canada for committing similar frauds, including Calgary, Red Deer, Halifax and the Niagara region. At the time of the Ottawa offence, he was on parole after serving 27 months for fraud and theft convictions in Nova Scotia. His criminal record includes 17 convictions for fraud, as well as multiple thefts and breaches of probation or other court orders. Ryan once stole the money his siblings gave him to pay for their mother’s funeral, court heard. Assistant Crown attorney Felicia Tippens said Ryan was a “compulsive liar” who was “on some kind of a spree defrauding women” and needed to be locked up. “The Crown submits he will continue to dupe innocent individuals into parting with their money,” said Tippens. In a victim-impact statement filed with the court, Ferrari said she felt “emotionally violated” by Ryan’s deception. “I’m a successful, intelligent, middle-aged businesswoman, making sound financial decisions all the time,” she wrote. “My only hope, in the future, that others can be spared this kind of hurt and turmoil in their lives.” A pre-sentence report said Ryan expressed no remorse for his actions, instead presenting a “compelling tale” of how he was a victim of the criminal justice system and Ferrari, who he claimed had charges filed against him after he broke up with her. Ryan, who represented himself, told the judge he didn’t want to read the pre-sentence report, but later argued with some of its findings. In particular, Ryan claimed he had a degree in criminology, even though his purported school had no record of it. “Even in front of a judge as I am about to sentence you are maintaining a lie,” said Ontario Court Justice Célynne Dorval before sentencing him to 36 months in federal prison. “You lie about everything in life. Absolutely everything,” she said. “I think you are at the point where you believe your own lies.” With credit for 60 days spent in pre-sentence custody, Ryan now has 34 months left to serve.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

My first actual online meet Posted: 5/31/2009 2:49:50 PM
But I would have been perceived as a beyotch if I said yes I minded the friend and the movie ..Instead, you just looked stupid, desperate and pathetic to allow a guy to bring someone else on a first meet date. I'd rather be the beyotch -- or in other words, .. a self-assured, independant, with a sound dose of common sense. But I agree with some of the others, there are ways to decline without coming off as a beyotch.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Dating a widower who's spouse only recently died Posted: 9/25/2008 4:38:43 PM
Friends and I were discussing this subject the other day. Generally speaking, men get over a relationship and into another one very quickly. Men really can't be alone for long. I've known several men who have lost a spouse (or broken up from a serious relationship), and within a month were in a new (serious) relationship. On a personal note, I have this really great male best friend, ..who I have considered marrying in the past -- and who continues to ask. My response to him, "I want to marry a guy who is not going to be bringing a date to my funeral. " This guy (and most I know) have no difficulty in mentally boxing up a memory, and placing it in the far cobwebs of their mind. NEXT! ...From my experiences.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

What if you were warned? Posted: 9/14/2008 8:51:38 AM
The whole point of my post was not about me, it was about being warned, and would everyone pay heed to a warning, or believe the excuses? I would like to be warned about a child, previous marriage, current girlfriend, jail time etc. which he may not necessarily be forthcoming about. (I would like to think I'm astute enough to figure out the affair in short order, but a guy can 'hide' children, marriages, jail time) . I DON'T need to be 'warned' about a guy who is going to 'treat me like sh*t' or try to 'con me' . I CAN figure that out quick enough -- and point them to the curb. That is, women who 'warn me' about a guy who was nasty to them, is ridiculous. They allowed the guy to walk over them, and/or gave them money etc. I'm not them, and I don't let a guy treat me like crap nor would I ever give a guy money. Ever!

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Played again... Posted: 8/24/2008 5:10:08 PM
I would start looking at what the common denominator is in the situation(s). Uh..YOU. How do i stop this from happening again?What are the signs that someone is a player? Instead, I would ask the question: Why am I such a fool and/or why can I be continually fooled? Then it wouldn't happen again.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Did I overreact? Posted: 8/24/2008 5:03:56 PM
Yes, you did! If this is how you treat someone after four months together, ..and all your 'hurt', I would hate to see how you would handle a relationship that lasts gasp 6 months, or maybe even a year. Drama-boy.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Bizarre behavior Posted: 8/16/2008 12:28:42 PM
I had just read the forum thread "Inappropriate Preliminary Conversation" and thought there might be a connection. I was going to post a response to missmewsc and say that some men never grow up, at 19 or 50, they will make inappropriate comments (especially where sex is concerned).

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

Unbelievable Posted: 8/10/2008 7:58:41 AM
It seems that everyone is assuming alot and quick to point and blame the woman. The OP doesn't provide alot of details of that 15 minute walk. In 15 minutes, I've had men drop a number of bombs on me and/or lied prior to meeting--- i.e. I'm married, I like to &&^ in bed and could ya' give me a (&^% , I live with a woman but I'm in the process of separating etc. etc. ...or the guy is just an a* and says inappropriate things. And so when that happens, the guy doesn't deserve an extra ounce of my efforts or breath to explain why I don't plan on seeing them again. Regardless, ..if you didn't have dinner as planned, I think it was pretty clear 'what happened' and there is no need email and ask.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Does Paxil? Posted: 8/4/2008 6:25:37 AM
Does Paxil (the psychotropic drug that is for depression and anxiety) prevent you from being able to fall in love, or develop strong feelings for someone? [/unquote] My guess is that whatever anxieties, challenges and fears that she is experiencing and the reason she is taking the meds for--is what is preventing her from developing strong feelings for someone. Its not the meds themselves, but all the reason(s) she is taking meds. Just a thought.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

Please just say 'no' ... Posted: 8/3/2008 7:25:22 AM
OP, You have the answer, before you even ask the question. That is, if you have to ask us whether or not we are attracted to you, ...we are likely unattracted to you. If you're not feelin' it, ..its not there, so save your breath.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

His mobile is switched off! Posted: 8/3/2008 6:42:15 AM
You might want to do a thread search with keyword, 'disappearing' . But to save you reading through the previous threads .... he is no longer interested and can't say this in person, so instead, he just disappears. This often leaves women without proper 'closure' and missing some of the stuff they have left at this disappearee's place. My advice? Do not call, do not send text or email. Start dating someone else and when he realizes you must be seeing someone else, chances are good he'll call you.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

How inconsiderate! Posted: 8/1/2008 5:38:48 PM
Are you really that naive to think that he is not going to have other girlfriends? Do you really think that you can be 'just friends' and live together after a year of being together? Why wouldn't he think to invite his new girlfriend over? You're friends, right? My question is -- why do you still want to be with this person after he was so inconsiderate. And yes, you would be lying if you say, you only want to be 'just friends'. You thought after all this 'hanging out' and 'getting along' was a start at rekindling the relationship. Reality Check....he's got himself a new gal and didn't miss you ...uh a beat! Go your separate ways.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

have you ever dated a biker and should you tell potential relationships about him Posted: 8/1/2008 5:29:05 PM
1. What business is it of future dates who you dated in the past? And, 2. Why would anyone care that you dated a biker? Uh .... I bet Maxime Bernier, Foreign Affairs minister might have wanted to know about Couillards past boyfriends. He lost his job because of it. http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20080610/Couillard_affair_080611 And anyone who would want to date any member of bike gang etc. truly has rocks in their heads. Sheesh, you would hate to 'hurt' these people ..cause they know people who can 'hurt' you. Of course, then you cry 'victim'. They are criminals and don't have a moral compass of sorts. They are only nice when things are going their way. You really want to hang out with one?

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 119 (view)

Married for 2 Years and she wants 1 Year away to be free and Independant Posted: 8/1/2008 5:19:25 PM
OP, There are various ways to put it -- She wants to keep you on the backburner, in case things don't go well (on her own). She wants to keep you as her security blanket, in case things don't go well (on her own). She wants to have something to fall back on, in case things don't go well (on her own). She wants to go out for a look-see, to see if there is anything she is missing, (and if she finds nothing) have the option to return to you. in case things don't go well = doesn't find something or somebody better than what she has now. Good luck.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

What is with MOTHERS Posted: 7/30/2008 5:24:16 PM
He keeps telling me to give her time to come around and warm up to the idea, but honestly is this normal? Is what she is saying normal for a mother of an independant 21 year old? Ummmm this doesn't sound like an independant 21 year old who is still living on the spoils of his mama. Did you not say that he is living in his mother's attached apartment? Unless he is paying rent, that place is hers and she can come and go as she pleases.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

He said... She said... Posted: 7/30/2008 5:14:34 PM
He couldn't understand why she was upset. She couldn't understand how he couldn't understand why she felt like she'd been played. Everything they'd discussed hinged on chemistry. The chemistry was there. The actions that followed confirmed everything they'd discussed. Maybe YOU felt the chemistry, and HE did not. I'm surprised that at your age, you haven't figured out the men don't necessarily have to be 'full of chemistry' to execute..... Or maybe on second thought, there WAS chemistry, but you bored him to death with chitchat or dribble later in the week and the sex would NOT be enough to bring him back for a visit. Its a toss up. What do you expect 5 minutes upon meeting and having sex? Happily ever after? And phone, texts, msn etc. do not substitute for the real life conversations.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

back away or warn Posted: 7/26/2008 7:48:53 AM
Now I am a delemia. I know he has used this site and others, to pick up women both in past and in present how do you warn other women to be careful of him Really OP, Give the sisters some credit. It aint hard to figure out the players, the cheats, the married ones. Just because YOU ignored the warning signs, doesn't mean others will.....so there is no need to 'warn us'. We are quite capable of screening out bottom-feeders on our own. As well, we need to come across these losers once and awhile to test our spidey senses and keep'em at peak performance!!

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Too soon to move on? Posted: 7/18/2008 1:38:31 PM
OP, A wise friend once said to me: "The best way to get over one man, is to get under another. " It usually works! Don't waste your time 'being alone' ...lotsa men and new friends to meet!! Get going!

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

How Long after the first meet should you say if your interested in that person or not? Posted: 6/22/2008 4:28:21 PM
The world doesn't stop because of ONE coffee date. And if yours does, .. then you need to find somethings to do! Honestly... people work, have real-life friends, have children, school ..a whole endless slew of OTHER things to think about --Other than how a coffee went with someone. You really need to back away and give someone alittle time to mull over 'the meet'. sheeesh!! I've met a few guys like yourself ..and yup, done before it even got started.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Please share your views (Punta Cana in August) Posted: 6/21/2008 6:57:24 PM
OP, You might want to consider that August is major hurricane season in the Carribean. "The Caribbean hurricane season lasts from June 1 to November 30. In the past 125 years the Domincan Republic (DR) has never been hit by a hurricane in June, the first month of the hurricane season. Records show only four tropical storms or hurricanes have affected the DR in July. August and September are the months when most hurricanes have hit. " The prices are usually cheap, but its chancy. But all that aside, the DR is

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 119 (view)

Thorny Issue Posted: 2/24/2008 9:15:17 AM
OP, The best advice I ever got was from my dad: "Only lend as much as you can afford to lose." It saves alot of aggravation and hurt. If you can't afford to lose it, don't lend it!

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF? Posted: 2/23/2008 1:25:37 PM
emphase, ...but when she was at my place, she started asking how much was many of things I owned and I spotted her gold digging tendencies VERY quickly. Ummm maybe she was thinking, I hope this guy didn't pay more than $20 bucks for that piece of junk. She was only asking to confirm in her mind. Nobody wants to date a fool. You're 24....what priceless antiques do you have????

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

should I tell Posted: 2/21/2008 7:01:04 PM
when I asked him if he was divorced he said no they are in the proccess sorry THEY all SAY they are in the process..... I guess some women are still falling and/or believing that line.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 80 (view)

One night stands?? Posted: 2/5/2008 3:37:58 PM
Op, Your profile states: "I believe you get back what you put into a relationship. ...Some qualities I'm looking for in a guy are honesty, loyalty, humor, ambition and intelligence. " I'm thinking this one-night stand guy is not honest, and not loyal. Or do you think he would be 'with you' ? Because a guy holds your head when you puke does not make this guy anything special. I would look for some other more redeeming qualities like which you first outlined in your profile above. If he does it with you---he'll do it to you. What do you think this guy is 'putting in' this relationship with you, and what will you get in return. Ummmm probably starts with an L like uh, ...LIES. RM.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

What's a girl to do? Posted: 1/23/2008 10:03:23 AM
We dont talk alot any more..there seems to be distance between us (Not just the physical distance, but emotional as well) ..And the problem is???????? The more distance, the better off you will be. He's inconsiderate and cheap. Geez, he couldn't even think of a DVD that you didn't already own. There is a correlation to how a man feels about you and what he purchase$ for you. What should I do? Dump him, and find someone else.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 169 (view)

Will successful women date a less sucessful man? Posted: 1/22/2008 6:06:16 PM
Uprock82, women have got confused and with there new and exciting financial independance and are getting money success and happiness all mixed up... 1- you dont need alot of money to be happy 2- women will be struggling with this for along time to come..as men are bieng de valued in are society by them Sorry, but women today are not 'confused' with their financial independence. Women are quite aware that when you have financial independence, you do not have to put up with the crap that our mothers or grandmothers had to put up. We can walk out the door, or put their stuff out the front door. And men, you know who you are...... And I would disagree with 1 , ...money can buy quite a bit of a happiness. :-) I think women are starting to catch on that you don't need to be in a 'relationship' or be with someone ...to be happy. Suppose that has left a few men alone,.. feeling unwanted, and undervalued.

Rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

How long do you wait for I love you Posted: 1/16/2008 6:10:36 PM
OP, On your profile, it states you are looking for "Dating". Did you just change this? Because if you have been 'dating' all this time, I'd would be a little hesitant to be professing my undying love to you when you are also dating on POF. However, if you've been 'single/not looking' all this time, and been in a committed relationship for the last 4 years---and your boyfriend, hasn't said "I love you" then I think ...walk out the door. Don't even bother having a discussion with him. Really, what's the point? You already know the answer. You're a clown for stayin' ....as you so aptly described. RM

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Women With No Heart Posted: 1/12/2008 7:35:31 PM
Se la vi. The proper spelling is: C'est la vie. It is french for 'that's life'. Uhhh now what was the topic...oh yeah, women with no heart. And the problem is..?

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Guys are you tired of payiing for everything although your woman makes just as much or more. Posted: 11/1/2007 3:10:33 PM
I dunno OP. Once upon a time...... I dated a guy who would eat at my place alot and would drink my wine, juice, perrier$, and beer. Not once did he get up off his duff to do the dishes even after I cooked. Not once did he offer to contribute to a grocery bill or bring something to cook (me?)---and really, he ate ALOT!! (And as an aside, I really think he was beginning to expect me to cook for him, not to mention he would eat the rest of my dinner at a restaurant so I got no doggie bag..uh lunch the next day.) He would stay over and I was constantly cleaning up after him and doing laundry, mine along with some of his stuff. He would use my nice shampoo and conditioner (check out the $$ of women's shampoo/conditioner at the hairdressors next time) when he stayed over. It all goes without saying that I rule in the bedroom so he wasn't 'paying twice' shall we say. One day, he looked across the table at me for $20.00 to split drinks and an appetizer. The End. And they DIDN'T live happily ever after. The moral of this story... 'men (and maybe a few women) can be so oblivious to what they are in fact costing or consuming in a relationship and only see what is coming out of their own wallet.'

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Ummm..I hope that this is the right place to ask this??? Posted: 10/15/2007 5:46:27 PM
Uh ...what to do?? Has online come to this, that we don't trust 'real' life to meet a decent guy? Sheesh ...get going gurl! Go have some pizzza! ...he said " I enjoy your aroundness" I was thinking " What "aroundness" is he talikng about?" He must have been watching Oprah today. Jerry Seinfeld said that is what he liked about his wife, Jessica. Her 'aroundness'. Ummmmm kinda cheesy that he didn't waste anytime stealing that line....... eeeer uh ..what was he doing watching Oprah? On second thought...... RM

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

girlfriend hacks into boyfriends email account Posted: 10/13/2007 6:45:43 PM
I think she committed a felony and should be prosecuted. Of course, you would. We would expect no less of an American --so litigious and all. Let's tie up a justice system with these sorta things now.... good golly. RM

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

sex.....with someone who does not like my body type.... Posted: 7/27/2007 7:02:53 PM
This thread reminds me of an analogy a friend used once, Like Mopeds,...BBW's are fun to ride until your friends catch you on it. Sorry. RM.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

What AM I To Think? Posted: 7/17/2007 3:55:27 PM
Uhh, doormat comes to mind. You show people how to treat you. Count your blessings that she has left --- and hope she doesn't change her mind. RM.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Guys in PRISON on POF? WTF? Posted: 6/2/2007 8:14:29 AM
Well we now have the answer to those threads about men disappearing after one date. They only had a 'day pass' .

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 465 (view)

over 30 and still living at home Posted: 6/1/2007 3:52:53 PM
So, a hard-working person who simply hasn't found a job high-paying enough is a "loser"? You just made my point! You lump people who live at home for economic reasons with a bunch of demeaning stereotypes. The difference between those of us who live at home and those who try to compensate for their own lack of self-esteem by bashing us is that our situation is not permanent. However, the bashers will be just as ignorant, hateful, mentally lazy and prejudiced long after we become more successful. CWLiberal: A hardworking person is not a loser. However, ... if a person can't find a job, chances are they are a loser. Especially given the very low unemployment rates, retiring boomers, high productivity/economic growth to name a few. (I'd hate to be categorized as 'ignorant or mentally lazy'.....) If a person can't live within their means, ...chances are they are a loser. I prefer people who can manage their finances (whether very little or very big) and their life. It is kind of indicative of such things as their planning, decision making capabilities and/or judgment. From what I've read on this thread---most people are choosing to live at home because it's 'nicer' and for 'economic reasons'. As some have mentioned, credit card debit (uh, that would fall into living beyond one's means), student loans (I guess the repayment amount of $50 dollars per month over 15 years is tooo much?), child support/takin' to cleaners..ooops, spousal support (so because of your [poor] decision-making, your parents are now responsible for YOUR [decisions] responsibilities??). Apparently, as the previous poster pointed out, some don't much like to live alone--um, how about a cat, dog, fish maybe? If this is the case, I would hate to have to go out of town on business or for personal reasons cause my 'honey' can't be left 'alone' (read needy). It's not that we have 'superiority complexes' ..we have those 'grown up' thoughts. Kind of like when you were 16 and didn't quite understand what your parents were talking about and didn't think they knew what they were talking about until you got older and got some experience.....well, atleast some of us got some experience (while others just got older). Lucky for some that to 'become more successful' isn't difficult or far to go. When you're at the bottom, there is nowhere to go but up.

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Spousal Support Posted: 5/16/2007 1:02:24 PM
Many doctors, lawyers and accountants can thank their low waged wives for supporting them through college. Then once their career takes off they say bye, bye with secretary, babysitter, co-worker. Meanwhile the wife had put off her own education and career choices to support her husband. It's called 'freedom of choice' and 'being accountable to those choices and/or risks that we take'. Women have the choice to foot the bill of their boyfriend/husband's education, or invest in their own education, or maybe even put those monies in an RRSP for a guaranteed return later on in life. But oh, no...they choose to send their sweeties to university instead. ooops, guess the 'investment' didn't give the return that was hoped for...similar to when I put my money in a poor mutual fund or stock. I'm out and I don't go to the courts looking for a way to recoup my poor investment (or man) choice. You would think after all these years of men doing this, women would have caught on and stopped paying....and would stop complaining. In a similar vein, ..there are choices' being made to stay home with a sick child. Maybe, in a relationship, you could uh..'negotiate' that each of you will take time off work on alternate occasions when the child gets sick? or to pick up a child or take a child somewhere. That is, so 'sacrifices' are equally distributed. What a novel idea!

rainy mondays

Joined: 2/17/2007

Msg: 435 (view)

over 30 and still living at home Posted: 4/27/2007 6:28:09 PM
Anyone living at home who is over 25 (and has healthy parents) has problems. You can make up your lame sorry-a$$ed reasons and excuses why it is 'the best thing' at the present time. So you have to eat kraft dinner, live in a hole in the wall, are in financial ruin and have the remote to that TV your ex-wife now owns.... Guess what? You stand up and face the consequences of your poor choices ...instead of running home to mommy and daddy. Thats is what growing up is about-- you make a sucky choice in marrying (or living with) the wrong person, ....you go through some hard financial times ..and you learn not to make that mistake again. Instead, people run home to mom and dad, without experiencing the consequences of their actions or choices... and do it all over once again. Life is full of the 'deserved' and 'undeserved' crap. It speaks volumes to how you choose to deal with it. Do you run home to parents....or do you choose to become a stronger and wiser person for it? Yeah...many would simply to choose the easy route cause mom's cookin' certainly beats Kraft dinner, eh? If you truly want to help mom, .. get yourself a cheap basement apartment, a case of kraft dinner and send your mom a cheque each month. What does living with 3 friends, or for that matter....3 cats in a basement..or alone do for you?? You learn to grow up ....and growing up ain't always sh*ts and giggles. I have a whole lot of respect for the guy who offers to cook me some KD haute cuisine for a special evening over the guy who has to sneak me to his room.

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