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 Author Thread: What is going on?
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What is going on?
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:57:37 PM
Online dating isn't dating. It's (in terms of percentages) a bunch of whacked people. There is no understanding...there's accepting. Accepting that behind a computer monitor anyone can be anything...until they step into the light. There's nothing wrong with you. In time...what will be will be. You do not need someone to define you. Why they pretend...why they lie...why they run is of no concern to you except that in their stupidity they help you realize/ accept/ come to terms with...online dating isn't dating. Good things come to those wait. Wait...and enjoy that time...it's your time.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
help me please
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:46:13 PM
Love finds you...you don't find it! Focus...on getting back or getting to...where you desire to be. You'll find that it's been waiting on you all along.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How do you turn off the butterflies?
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:38:39 PM
You don't...they fade over time...acceptance follows.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Can you really stay friends with an ex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:34:14 PM
The answer is no.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
The dreaded rommate-boyfriend situation - HELP!
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:31:28 PM
Your comfort level in your home is your business and any concerns that you have are automatically justified. You do not need a consortium of strangers to justify what you already know. It's your home and your feelings are an entitlement. Make them known. Anyone who may become offended by your feelings does not have your best interest at heart.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Quite the story---Need Advice
Posted: 12/16/2012 4:41:18 PM
"So I ended it. Because of the lies."

It started out with a lie...what goes around comes around. Stop the pity party and be glad you're still standing. You're a boy...GTFU
 anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do women's athletic tights lie?
Posted: 12/10/2012 10:30:43 PM
"To rephrase the question in more explicit terms, I want to know if athletic tights nowadays are like push-up bras for the butt."

Google it then. Your a 32 year old dude from LA?
 anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Ex keeping tabs on you 4 1/2 years later?
Posted: 12/10/2012 10:17:01 PM
" He said he chose to erase me from his life including asking people to delete me off fb etc (no big deal as I moved on) But if he's holding this grudge "

Because if he didn't...he would have to be honest with himself. It continues because if it didn't...he would have to grow up.
 anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
ring on right hand
Posted: 12/7/2012 7:26:20 PM
+1 msg 26

Additional reasons:

Economic Independence (relates to women out earning men).
Gay and Lesbian Marriage. (signifies the marriage was legalized).
Family Heirlooms.
Infidelity. Married men and women don’t have to resort to hiding their wedding rings in order to cheat on a spouse; shockingly, many people believe that switching a wedding band from the left to the right hand is a code that signifies an openness to cheating on their mate or spouse.
Differences In Culture.
Left-Handedness.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
I am not attracted to my girlfriend anymore...
Posted: 12/6/2012 4:14:13 PM
You are a 28 year old man. I'd take that crap one time and one time only. I would not bring it to a forum. Man up!
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Should I tell him???
Posted: 12/5/2012 4:49:02 PM
"It is killing me."

That would say it all for me.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Do we see ourselves clearly???
Posted: 12/2/2012 5:53:32 PM
"do you think it is true that most people do not see themselves clearly???"

The personality is composed of the Real Self and the Ideal Self. Your Real Self is who you actually are, while your Ideal Self is the person you want to be.

The Ideal Self is an idealized version of yourself created out of what you have learned from your life experiences, the demands of society, and what you admire in your role models.

For example, your parents are medical doctors who are respected and admired in the community, and experience tells you that in order to be happy, you need to be smart and have a high-paying job. Your Ideal Self might be someone who excels in science subjects, spends a lot of time studying, and does not get queasy at the sight of blood. If your Real Self is far from this idealized image, then you might feel dissatisfied with your life and consider yourself a failure.

To answer your question though...no most people do not.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Going home for Christmas...
Posted: 11/28/2012 3:20:48 PM
You already know what you're going to do dude. Stop seeking justification and get on with it...damn.
 anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
A man that doesn't drive
Posted: 11/24/2012 4:37:06 PM
Dude...you live in Mundelein...you need a fricking car. Just like you do in any of the Western burb's.
 anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Just found out my girlfriend has been sleeping with my friend for almost a year
Posted: 11/17/2012 7:47:43 PM
Phuk her...stomp a mudhole in his azz...do it on the 6'oclock news if you can. You will feel better.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
LADIEs: Why are short guys such losers
Posted: 11/15/2012 5:16:48 AM
"Why are short guys such losers"

Woody Allen, 5'6"
Beethoven, 5'3-3/4"
Humphrey Bogart, 5'8"
Bono, 5'7"
Andrew Carnegie, 5'0"
Tom Cruise, 5'8"
Phil Collins, 5'6"
Danny DeVito, 5'0"
Dustin Hoffman, 5'6"
Elton John, 5'4"
Al Pacino, 5'6"
Joe Pesci, 5'5"
Martin Sheen, 5'7"

There are plenty more, but I think you get the idea.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How open should I be when updating my Bio?
Posted: 11/9/2012 12:19:58 PM
After reading your posting history...I'd say be 1000% open.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What would you do
Posted: 11/8/2012 8:58:12 AM
the questions is "What would you do"?

Man up. Accept that she want's something or someone else. Pack your shat and move!
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs...
Posted: 10/11/2012 9:08:29 AM
"When him and i were in a relationship together he would push me around"
He's not a man.

"he went so far as to be drunk and high tooo bring home another girl! Ya while i was there...and told me to go to my bed and shut the door."
He's not a man...He's a disrespectful male.

"He lives with a registered sex offender"
He's a very troubled disrespectful male.

"Sooooo i feel obligated to let him stay with me , even though while he is here he does nothing but push me around. Someone give me some advice im going crazy."

Don't let him stay with you and allow the children to see him push you around. Kick his azz to the curb and move on. You'll have a better life without him. The children need him...that is true but missing him will hurt a lot less than the hurt they endure seeing him drunk, stoned, pushing Mommy around and bringing strange people to your house. I'd have his butt arrested if I were you anytime that he started getting physical.
You should feel more obligated to protecting the children than trying to accomidate him.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 439 (view)
 
Short Men
Posted: 10/9/2012 12:10:38 PM
"1. Why women don't like short guys?"

Huh?

"2. Do Short guys ever stand a chance of dating?"

Tom Cruise 5'7"
Woody Allen 5'5"
Al Pacino 5'7"
Ben Stiller 5'8"
Michael J Fox 5'4"
Richard Dreyfuss 5'5"
Roger Daltrey 5'7"

Confidence.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 128 (view)
 
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/9/2012 11:55:29 AM
"Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?"

Absolutely...it is reflective of a good many things. Guests at my home are greeted with a neat, clean comfortable environment. Dirty sheets...forget it. I'm getting a room.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Break-Up
Posted: 10/9/2012 11:46:25 AM
You should do what you think is best...for you.

A few things that you mentioned...I've decided my current relationship should not continue, her dad just kind of tolerates me, I don't feel respected or appreciated, it's like she just expects me to adopt her way of looking at things, I know it's going to be ugly, and get on with my life.

You should do what you think is best...for you.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
dont see her often
Posted: 10/9/2012 6:41:15 AM
"should i email her and take my chances that way"?

OP I think that you know better and maybe that's why you posted this. Man if it doesn't work out it could be a huge problem in so many ways. Email is not something that I would really consider discreet.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Not Again!
Posted: 10/9/2012 6:16:45 AM
At least half of my dates stick their tongue in my mouth during the first kiss. It could be a hello kiss, or "oh I like you" kiss. Doesn't matter if children are nearby, it always happens in front of people on the street or in a restaurant.


There has to be a common variable among these guy's. Once you learn to spot it you can avoid it. You may find it as a type-o in their texts or emails, or in the way that they speak example: where's it at vs where is it? I aint busy Friday vs I am not busy Friday. It could be anywhere but it's there. Once you learn to spot it you can weed out the undesirable characteristics of potential mates. Manners can be easily spotted...good or bad.
 anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Trading one addiction for another
Posted: 10/8/2012 8:10:45 AM
Trading one addiction for another

OP judging by the title that you chose for this topic it appears that you may already know the answer.

An addictive personality refers to a particular set of personality traits that make an individual predisposed to addictions. People who are substance dependent are characterized by: a physical or psychological dependency that negatively impacts the quality of life. They are frequently connected with substance abuse; however, people with addictive personalities are also highly at risk of becoming addicted to gambling, food, pornography, exercise, work, and codependency,

Wikipedia
 anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Trying a 2nd or 3rd time again with an ex
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:14:24 PM
"Have you tried again with an ex girlfriend or boyfriend"
Once...it was worse the second time around.

"Do you agree that after a while, we tend to only remember the good things about another person/relationship, & forget the bad things".

That's basic Psych 101. I think the difference is as you get older you simply become more experienced and accept that if it smells of poop then it must be poop.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
A question for people looking for Long Term Relationships only.
Posted: 9/25/2012 11:28:38 AM
A question for people looking for Long Term Relationships only.

"Do you find it more effective to date more than one at a time, and narrow down the field, or is it better to date only one at at time? "

IMO dating more than one lady at a time does not work in favor of developing a LTR. Having said that I'll say this...when I was 35 I usually dated several ladies at a time, but I was not looking for a LTR.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Uncertainty stage depreciation thread :-(
Posted: 9/25/2012 8:35:31 AM
I think I need to address it, but in the correct way...

If he's the right guy and feels the same way about you that you feel about him then there is no need to bring it up. Bringing it up is you expressing how you feel but could (depending on how he feels) have an undesireable outcome. IMO it would be so much better to let what is going to happen...happen naturally. If he is or is not seeing others you'll know it soon enough. Enjoy the ride...hope for the best. If he's the one you will be glad that you put your needs second and allowed him time to bring it up. IMO
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Boyfriend moving then not moving for his kids
Posted: 8/10/2012 12:08:29 PM
Plenty of sage advice has been given in response to your post. It can be hard to do, but you will be doing both of you a great favor by taking that advice. I'm betting that the parents would consider the $200.00 and investment in your future and not spend a minute worrying about getting it back.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Ex's Songs
Posted: 7/18/2012 3:53:16 PM
My guess is that everyone who has ever been in a relationship can identify with the question. Therer are certain songs that remind me of certain people even though we never actually decided together that any particular song was our song.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How do I tell a friend I like his daughter?
Posted: 7/18/2012 2:28:14 PM
I must be missing something. I can't see why you are concerned.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Review for a technical guy looking for a classy girl?
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:47:58 PM
Some of the suggestions that you get may sound silly or down right odd.
Try to keep in mind that those suggestions were solicited and are coming from unbiased sources. If the suggestions you are given are dismissed too quickly then an opportunity may be missed.
I see a ton of opportunity with your profile ( I am in Marketing) and that isn't a slam in any way. Your profile is actually ok except your not getting the desired results?
I assume that anyway since you asked for a review.

1. Slowly read your own profile as there are typeo's.
2. The picture with you and your 2 friends - the first few times I looked at it I thought you were the guy in the Black shirt. Go ahead and laugh but your primary picture has you in Black with shades on so I would be willing to be that this same oversight has been made by others. Add or change the heading to refer to you as the one on the right. Hey man it's not my day for guy's but your betting looking than your friend.
3. Your primary pic is not your best pic. It's a good pic but just not as good as the one of you standing alone and you really should consider making it your primary pic. You have nothing to loose by considering some or all of the suggestions that have been made on this thread because you can always change your profile back. How would you feel though if you relented...changed the primary pic for axample and as a friend of mine said this morning...
Viola.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
As many reviews as possible please
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:02:51 AM
Dating but nothing serious and the for: dating does limit your views.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
question / situation
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:12:24 AM
I believe in tipping and am generally considered a good tipper. I have a friend who is a horrible tipper. When I'm out with ths particular friend and he's picking up the tab...I make sure that I am the last person to leave the table and I leave a generous tip on top of his. No problem.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 136 (view)
 
Middle aged man, new Camaro
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:55:37 AM
Ditto...Janet_Always
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Personal Safety
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:34:21 AM
OP even if his intentions were honorable an adult (grown up and fully matured) male would know that this is going to be unacceptable to most women and should be to him as well. Doesn't want to be interviewed is a pretty lame excuse. Meeting in a public place is the only option.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Why is it so important for you know when we had sex last?
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:15:09 AM
"Why is it so important for you know when we had sex last?"

I don't recall ever having asked that question. If I did it would have been during one of those conversations two people have once they have gotten to know each other and the conversation being one of those following having just been intimate with her asking that question of me. Then I might ask.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Enlightenment required for single father of 2
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:58:17 AM
" I have a question for you........I've always been curious as to what men consider to be "casual dating"? "

Casual Dating
"A casual date is an evening, a meal, or a get-together of some kind in which there is no expectation of further commitment on either side. Although one side may desire a further relationship, it is understood that both parties are free to sample the company of each other and are as equally free to terminate any sense of relationship as well."
-Daniel Zauber, dailyprincetonian.com
Casual dating is the 'getting to know you' phase.

Taken from the Urban Dictionary.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Safety for bdsm
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:42:39 AM
"My questions are there other submissive girls or masters who can give me pointers on how to find what I am looking for?"

Google bdsm sites and look for forums that cater to your interests?
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Friendship issue: not on the same page?
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:31:48 AM
"So, was I wrong in my reaction or is she in the ditch for not seeing the problem with the situation?"
You stated how you felt and from what you wrote here you did it in a respectable manner. I don't see how you can be wrong.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Profile review request
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:35:26 PM
OP...looks better man.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
please review me
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:26:31 PM
I just reviewed your profile and it looks ok to me. You could add some pictures of you with a big smile, maybe a full length shot and mix it up a little with some pictures of you doing different things. IMO
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
How does a city slicker date in a country world?
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:44:50 PM
mysterioustallmn...too funny, also all too often...true.LMAO
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Think I could use a profile review
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:51:21 PM
Your profile looks pretty good. It's pictures. They tell a story. What story do you want your pictures to tell?
I have an idea. Your primary picture is a little fuzzy...primary pic needs to be the best pic. The one of you in the red shirt with you wearing that big smile...make that your primary picture as a quick adjustment and see if there is a change for the better.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Input on improving my profile sought from anyone, no restrictions but please provide honest feedback
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:40:00 PM
OP I think your profile looks good. I do suggest that you add several more pictures. The one that you have is ok but you might consider editing it and bringing your image closer to the viewer so that they can see you. A good head shot, a full length shot and some variety shots. Shots with no hats, no shades...shots that promote YOU.
Good hunting
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What would you do?
Posted: 7/16/2012 12:36:04 PM
"GUYS: You dumped a girl and are putting yourself out to date again. What would it make you feel if your ex contacted you out of the blue? What would you do?"

Actually this happened...so I'll play along. She contacted me (we had not had communication in a year) just wanting to talk (hmm). We were never able to just talk. As I suspected it didn't take long for the truth to come out lol. She needed this and that and missed me, but really needed this and that. This was a person who over medicated herself with prescription med's (mix in a bottle or two of red wine) and would become physically violent. When I told her that while I felt for her situation I wasn't going to send her anything the always colorful verbal volley began. I hung up and blocked her phone number.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Profile review request
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:56:47 AM
OP the guitar pic is a little dark but is also the best one you have up, the picture with the street lamp behind and above you needs to be replaced. The first thing the eye is drawn to is the glaring light above your head and your face is not visible enough. The picture of you holding the beer is ok but without the shades would be better and you really should romove the verbiage referring to "I'm not a drunk". Add more pictures.
Your marital status shows married, your looking for hook up, you joined POF on 7-9-12 and you say that you are a BBW. Your wants or needs coupled with how you refer to yourself will slow the process.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Am I worthless?
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:31:36 PM
"maybe im just not good enough?"
In my opinion no one is worthless...period. Remain true to yourself and great things will come your way. Doesn't mean it will be easy and doesn't mean you won't get hurt.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Does anyone mind giving me some feedback?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:58:36 AM
OP I just took a gander and your profile and it seems fine. The only thing that I noticed was the picture in front of the vineyard has a heading that say's 3/12/24. 24?
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do i really fit in?
Posted: 7/14/2012 6:20:39 PM
"Do i really fit in?"
Yep...you just don't know it yet. The day will come soon enough when you realize that you are setting the standard not meeting it. Be yourself and the world will come to you...make damn sure you are ready for it.
 
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