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Thread: Men and FB not FWB arrangements

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Men and FB not FWB arrangements Posted: 8/28/2009 6:07:06 PM
Is it true that Men can sustain an on going fb arrangement, not an fwb, for a long time without getting ANY type of an attachment? Such as 2yrs or so. I can understand on a short term basis but after so long doesn't it just become a relationship of some sort?

mscharlotte2u

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

Friends with Benefits Posted: 8/20/2009 5:25:01 PM
I don't imagine he will cut her off completely unless someone else really captures his attention. He will keep her lingering. He'll perhaps say no for a while then give her a nibble in between until something better comes a long. Yes she may and or will get hurt in the long run, but both are enablers, both enabling each other to use one another. Her perhaps for the emotional need to be wanted and him for his need of sexual gratification.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 80 (view)

Is dating at 40 just a bad idea? Posted: 8/20/2009 4:55:20 PM
Personally the whole dating thing is a mystery to me. I haven't been on one in well over a decade and wouldn't even know how to act in one am sure. I would much rather just go and hang out with someone and see what happens but I suppose in a sense that is what dating is. The term dating just seems to have some pressure behind it.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 495 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/16/2009 4:36:44 PM
For me it isn't that I can't cook. I just generally don't have time to cook. I have good intention to cook with taking out the meat and putting it in the fridge to thaw out but by the time I get home from work to cook it I am too tired or by the time it will be done it's too late to eat.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Balancing dating and personal life when you crack 30 Posted: 8/13/2009 7:18:23 AM
My actual "scheduled" work hours is 10. But I tend to work anywhere up to 12-15 depending on if I work a day or night shift on occasion. I stick to 10 if I work a night shift. If I work a day shift, it is really easy for me to put in the extra hours especially if it's during the Holidays. Factor in my commute of an hour each way, heaven forbid any complications with rush hour, that can mount up to 2-3 hours one way. So a lot of times it leaves me too tired for much of anything else but perhaps a bite to eat if I am not too tired a couple of hours sleep during a work day. On days off I tend to catch up on errands and or rest..lol So for me, though I really like and prefer to do spontaneous things I find that my time is spread thin so I have to plan things and I HATE having to plan for things other than Doctor appointments on my days off since work is such a scheduled thing..lol so I guess I am doomed unless I miraculously get rich. I'd love to find a SO but realistically do not have the time to maintain one. Unless I can find one that isn't smothering and can respect that I am not available all the time but can be there when I need them which seems to be hard to do unless you are entering in to an FWB situation and that isn't always what I want. I would just want the companionship form time to time.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 146 (view)

If she has the condoms is that a good thing? Posted: 8/12/2009 5:22:50 AM
Taking responsibility is a two way street. We already have the responsibility of making sure we handle the birth control and unless we use condoms it does not protect us from STD's. I would like to think that in today's day and age, regardless of ones sexual activity, that Women are stocked in condoms for you may never know when you may need one. Much in the same way Men carry one just in case. Sometimes Men aren't always prepared. Because you never know when you may get lucky and it would suck to have to stop because no one had a condom. Just saying.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Age Boundries Posted: 8/12/2009 5:08:13 AM
I am really really young for my age I am assuming you mean maturity level and where you are in life as to what you want and where you are. But I am also going to guess that there are a large number of Women who are under 26 that are career and marriage minded as well. So as with any age group you just have to go through the motions and feel people out.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

A foolish problem for a young guy Posted: 7/29/2009 5:18:34 PM
Alright so I will consider sex on the first date, lol If the attraction and the passion is there lol I just have wanted to avoid the notion of one night stands... lol So what I guess I'm not accepting applications? lol Stay true to yourself. If that is not your thing, don't do it.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

A foolish problem for a young guy Posted: 7/29/2009 4:50:39 PM
I am same as you, when not in a relationship, sex is not a major issue in my mind, but when I am with a man, in a relationship, I want it all the time. I agree with this. I can go years without if I am not involved. But then when I am involved with someone and am a nympho..lol they can't imagine that I can be dormant for any amount of time.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

friends with benefits.... Posted: 7/28/2009 7:06:17 AM
I have a non conventional work schedule. Which makes a social life rather difficult for me. I have/had an FWB well I guess it was more so a FB for 2 yrs, I would have liked to have kept it going but it lacked the respect I desired. I found that though I was generally available for when he wanted it, he wasn't when I did. Despite whatever issues that was causing conflict, what made the arrangement of an FWB situation work, is that I don't have time to put in to a relationship. I barely manage to make time to see my own family. But then again it could just be that I have been single for so many years that I am just too scared to fully invest myself to anyone so this keeps me from doing so.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

The Four favourite questions guys love to ask.... Posted: 7/28/2009 6:43:38 AM
You forgot the hair down below question..

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

a man lies for sex Posted: 7/23/2009 6:41:07 PM
I'm sorry, but I hate to say this, but perhaps much like you have you are a few extra pounds he says he is looking for long term.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Male/Female Friendship Posted: 7/23/2009 5:41:47 PM
That isn't always true. There has been a couple of times I have had a guy friend that after time I became attracted to for one reason or another and it turned in to something else. Women do not categorize Men in that fashion. Not all Women view "All" Men as mate potential or just Friend potential. We tend to let things go as they may unless there is a strong initial attraction.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

some random songs and words Posted: 7/16/2009 1:32:32 PM
Addicted It's like your a drug It's like your a demon I can't face down It's like I'm stuck It's like I'm running from you all the time And I know I let you have all the power It's like the only company I seek is misery all around It's like your a leech Sucking the life from me It's like I can't breathe Without you inside of me And I know I let you have all the power And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts, in my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm lost It's like I'm giving up slowly It's like your a ghost that's haunting me Leave me alone And I know these voices in my head are mine alone And I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts, in my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time, then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this(x2) It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts, in my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 145 (view)

When the bill comes on a first date... Posted: 7/15/2009 8:24:34 PM
Avoid all issues and guessing, when the wait person comes to take the order, mention separate checks.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 110 (view)

Should foreplay be equal or mostly about her? Posted: 7/15/2009 8:10:31 PM
It should be 50/50 but I lost somewhere I think.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Bar set too high? Posted: 7/14/2009 6:37:37 PM
it's not too much to ask for....if you are hot. But....well, nevermind. LOL yeah exactly what she said, if you are hot, lets not forget if you have money. I'm not saying it can't happen but the probability of it is not likely. However you never know. Good luck! Sounds like a mail to order bride.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 6301 (view)

Old Souls......only Posted: 7/13/2009 10:59:17 PM
Lead me not in to Temptation for he will never see the light Free me from my minds damnation that it may be free of him tonight Madness is what it does to me to think of him in any way I've given what I could to him but he keeps pushing me away What ever Evil forces are at play I wish that they would STOP! For this man you've tried to force me onto clearly wants me not.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

If you had to chance to meet up with the one who got away Posted: 7/13/2009 5:58:11 AM
People change over the years. Memories and feelings of the past may resurface as you reminisce or see an old face or friend but it doesn't always mean that it will still be there or return to how it used to be. If they were as good as you remember, it won't hurt to meet up and see what happens. The past is the past, the person who you were with am sure isn't the same now as they were then, but if sparks fly again at least you can start something new.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Help with my Current GF Posted: 7/13/2009 5:45:46 AM
Get out of it while you can. If she can't appreciate the efforts you are making she will not appreciate you. She sounds like she may still have lots of issues to deal with from the previous relationship and you shouldn't be the punching bag so to speak.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Why is it so hard? Posted: 7/13/2009 5:39:22 AM
If you are interested, make the contact. Person of interest isn't going to know if you do not say something. Just the same if someone is interested in you they will contact you.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Paying for the first date. Posted: 7/13/2009 5:27:29 AM
Perhaps then it's just best to say when the waitress comes to take the order that it will be on separate checks.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

dating, bbw and the friends zone. Posted: 7/9/2009 7:32:30 PM
Well, I've always been plus sized, ever since childhood. In my late teens I lost 40 got knocked up then progressed to what seemed about 10lbs a year average after childbirth. I remember my Doc telling me that I had the type of body that would require constant diet and exercise because of my low metabolism. I went back to work full time when my son was 7. I work retail and retail is fast paced and you are always on the go, needless to say I dropped 30 easy. I still ate the same, I never ate a whole lot, I just stored everything. Obviously after a while I flat lined. This past year, I started seeing a Neurologist for my Migraines. He prescribed me Topamax. Well, one of the side effects is that it increases your metabolism. Needless to say, eating the same as I always had and actually I have had to snack at work because it burns it so quick, I have lost 50 lbs. All that is in matter of the weight. As far as the dating, I haven't had a problem with it, when I open myself to it anyway. I have have been involved with some very attractive men in my life. My Sons father and also my Ex Husband were both very attractive. I'm almost ashamed to say but I was recently involved for 2yrs with a very hot 20 something firefighter who found me when I was heavier than I am now. So, they are out there, it's just a matter of how someone see's themselves and shows themselves to others. And for me, I am not sure how I am going to handle myself if and when I get much smaller. I know my beauty and I know it will only get worse as I get smaller, isn't that strange to gain insecurity over something that should be good. I guess it then becomes will people see me for me or the package?

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Sex in a LTR. Is a Willing partner enough? Posted: 7/9/2009 2:49:24 PM
I've read and re-read your question and am guessing you are questioning when and if that initial spark/desire/can't get enough of you stage goes away. One would hope that the desire doesn't go away but if it does, communication goes a long way to bringing it back. Having just a willing partner to have sex with isn't going to be enough, not if you are seeking something more long term, unless it's just for sexual release with someone. Then it doesn't matter I suppose.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 108 (view)

Why do we women do this to ourselves? Posted: 7/9/2009 10:09:54 AM
So, knowing all this, why do I still hold on? Why am I not just telling him not to contact me anymore? Why do I keeping hoping that he will see how lucky he would be to have me, knowing that if he hasn't seen it already, he's not going to? Because like you I can't get him out of my head. It's been going for 2 yrs. Still working on the past tense part. I've stopped initiating contact and turned down last couple requests to meet. I can't play the game on his terms anymore. Which leads me to always wonder how guys can do it for that length of time with one person and not get any kind of attachment.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Are women who don't need men likely to ever find one and be happy? Posted: 7/9/2009 9:34:26 AM
I would think that a Man would prefer someone to want them rather than need them. I for one would hate a relationship based on dependency. I would like to think that my Partner can be sufficient with out me and was before me, that they do not need me to live their life. I don't need a Man, I am self sufficient, I can take care of things myself. Yes, even some of those basic Do-it-yourself things, I have some tools somewhere. But, there are some things that only Men give you that makes me want a man. That's the companionship that you get when you are with someone. The things you can't get from your co-worker, friend, brother, mother, father, sister etc.. The things that a couple shares. Or for some people same gender. Those are the things that makes me want a Man.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Don't Come Here Cos People Know Me?????????? Posted: 7/9/2009 7:11:46 AM
I have to agree with what some of the others have said, sounds like he wanted to keep you a secret.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

She asked for money at the end of the date! Posted: 7/9/2009 7:09:50 AM
LOL Sounds like she was a call girl.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

My worst fear.. go figure Posted: 7/9/2009 7:01:01 AM
So, my Son decided to join the service, which was fine. He joined the Army National Guard Reserves. He came home from Basic training June 30th and yesterday we got him checked in with his Unit that he is attached to for his one weekend a month and two weeks a year obligations. I thought OK at least it's reserves, he can still go to school, work and serve and should he decide that college isn't for him, after a certain amount of time I guess he has the option to change his contract to full active. Well, when he came out to the car yesterday, after getting all his paper work taken cared of and getting checked in, he says to me, "Ma, my Unit is scheduled to be deployed to Afghanistan in February." He is my only child, he'll be 21 in Sept. Sheesh, he just got home. I know it's 7 mos away, right now I am not too panicked, but as the time draws near, I will be more so. How does one cope better?

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Why are you fussier at 30+ Posted: 7/9/2009 5:34:18 AM
I feel it is all of the above for both genders. Most of us, at least those who have not spent a majority of our "20 somethings" partying it away, have established our 30+ years so our careers are set and some have either had or have families. I'm not sure if that makes sense or if that came out right. Ack! I've got a year and a half in the "30's" category left.. where's the 40's forum..lol I know for me right now I am not marriage minded, not saying I am not LTR minded, hence my "here for" is dating, but I should change it to friends because to me dating in itself has so much stipulations. I'd rather just find someone to go and have fun and do things with and see where it goes from there. I just so hate categories. But who knows how I will feel if and when I cross that bridge.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Question for ladies regarding your profile photos Posted: 7/9/2009 4:54:38 AM
Why do you call yourself 'somelonelyguy' and post a pic of you flexing a muscle. That's creepy imo. LOL! What about all the guys pics of them flexing one arm? I almost said I have none of the above pics but then remembered I put one on of me and my son from when I went to his basic training graduation. Just kinda proud of that one.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

What is appropriate? Posted: 7/8/2009 12:16:49 PM
i am pretty open and honest to begin with but there are some things I would hold off on disclosing on initial meets and even if topics even come up. But wow, I would be skeptical about the rape thing first off, how can you be scared to tell the police yet be comfortable to tell a complete stranger and still continue to meet people off of the same site if occurred off of.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

What do girls want in a guy? Posted: 7/7/2009 8:29:31 PM
My problem with questions like this is, if you gotta ask, then you aren't that guy. Every "Woman" not girl, wants different things, so your best bet is to put down who and what you are, not some make up of what we tell you we want, because if that isn't who or what you are then there is no point in it. You just become a fabrication of a poll, only to disappoint those who respond. At least with an honest description of who you are as a person you will be able to get a better response from those who would be interested in who you are. Even if it takes a while at least you know it is for you and not because of a Q and A response.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

no sex for 15 months Posted: 7/7/2009 5:30:35 PM
Work and other obligations also take a big part in priorities.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

no sex for 15 months Posted: 7/7/2009 5:14:24 PM
Good grief.. Sex is a pleasure. I've gone 8yrs at one point and 7 another. I am a monogamous person, meaning I don't hop bed to bed. If I take on a partner, whether it is in a "committed" relationship or just for play, it is just one person. I am also a Scorpio so it kinda sucks because am a very sensual person. But I don't let that rule my life. There are other important things than having to find someone to share my bed with. So I just have to laugh when I hear of these short term dry spells and people going crazy over it.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Why cant we all tell the truth? Posted: 7/7/2009 4:14:41 PM
Yes you are right, most women dont want to be described as BBW. Nothing wrong with BBW. Ya know, I keep seeing this in the threads too. I just don't get it. Me personally, I don't want any guy who wouldn't take me as I am. Granted I've lost 50 since I started on here, but doesn't mean I'm going to change my size even if I get below BBW status. I just don't want to waste my time or anyone else's time if there's going to be a size issue. Because either way, the same person is going to be inside this body, fat or not!

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Should I change my looks to get a date? Posted: 7/7/2009 2:27:49 PM
Don't change your look if you like it. Me myself I prefer clean cut men. But you'd probably surprised at the increase of opportunities you will have. You never know, you may even like it. You can still be who you are even with a shorter dew..

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

What exactly is too nice? Posted: 7/7/2009 12:56:52 PM
IMO there's a difference between a Nice guy and someone that's Nice and Shy. If you are a genuine nice guy but have confidence in yourself and go for what you want then you should be OK. But if you are a nice guy and wait around forever to get green lights or need to be told when to make a move then that's when we tend to loose interest. I think the Nice Guys DO get taken, it's the Nice and Shy guys that get left behind.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Are women obliviously attracted to a man's appearance? Posted: 7/7/2009 12:37:27 PM
That's because you have gained more confidence in your appearance and it reflects to the women around you.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 69 (view)

Someone stop me..PLEASE Posted: 7/7/2009 6:18:18 AM
get rid of your old baggage! some where along the line, some type of relationship with someone you had, did this too you and you got burned. OR some one very close to you had this happen to them and it hurt them deeply, you have to get over it I kinda agree with this. I read somewhere that such behaviour also stems from a past issue. Funny how things always revert back to either childhood or a past relationship of some sort. Anyway, somewhere a long the line you had to fight for attention or reassurance. You just gotta find out where and when that was and let it go. One thing I am learning from reading the forums from what the guys post, at least the sincere ones, is that if a Guy is really in to you he will respond to you in a manner you will know he is. He will respect you and reciprocate. So just sit back and relax, try not to push the envelope too far, though I know that will be hard, especially if you are anything like I am and lack patience..lol

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

Astrology Posted: 7/6/2009 8:39:55 PM
I've read what people have said about Aquarian males and from my personal experience, though they are the life of the party and everyone's friend, they are fairly detached and un emotional or rather closed in. That's why it suggests that Scorpio Women stay away from them because we are the complete opposite. But I also have a female Aquarian friend and the two are very different in character.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

Astrology Posted: 7/6/2009 8:29:25 PM
I am very much in to astrology but do not follow it to a "t". Ironically, I have never been involved with anyone of whom I am supposed to be best suited with, such as Cancer, Pieces? and or Scorpios since I am a Scorpio. Both of my LTR's amazingly were with Aries men and just because I am a stubborn woman and enjoys a challenge I guess or whatever I have recently tackled an Aquarian that found me which I am supposed to stay waaaaaay away from..lol but the battles have been both aggravating and fun at the same time.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 318 (view)

Why do men find it so difficult to date single mothers? Posted: 7/6/2009 3:54:12 PM
I think that admitting that I do not have the patience to be an equal parent to someone else's child is a good reason to steer clear of a man with children. What man would want a woman who believes she could never treat another woman's child as her own? I actually applaude you for your honesty. As for myself, I struggled with the thought of whether or not I would or could date someone with children. If they did not have custody, yes. Then I think, even if they didn't, would I? Does that make me selfish? My son is reaching 21, so I am in the "all my kids are over 18" category. I am single and am at the point in my life where I don't want any of those added responsibilities or obligations should I ever become involved with someone who has those obligations. Because lets face it, they become yours too. But I try and keep an open mind and take things as they come.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Empty Promises! Posted: 7/6/2009 3:34:53 PM
What happened was unfortunate but like many have said I agree, I wouldn't have waited so long for the meet. When you start to click with someone online I think it's best to meet right away to see if it is there in person, that way there are no misgivings. As you get to know one another online or through the phone or text you tend to be more laxed as that person isn't in front of you and you can't see their reactions. So for some they tend to open up more freely or for others, they feed on you and use it to victimize you. Either way don't wait so long next time.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Ladie's Night Out? Posted: 7/6/2009 1:50:04 PM
I saw a Post on here way down there..lol back in May about a ladies night out. I was wondering if it happens much? I am a transport from the west coast and in the years that I have been out here I really only know the people I work with and in my position I am not allowed to fraternize with them outside the work place, or at least it is frowned upon. I just think a ladies night out sounds like a blast. Much like the speed dating is organized, does that get organized or is it random?

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 107 (view)

I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me. Posted: 7/6/2009 12:00:11 PM
I've never felt pressure to need to be with someone so to me being single is just a way of life. Sure, on occasion I miss the companionship of having someone here to share things with or to be able to let my guard down and be Vulnerable, but that is a want and not a need. But then again it has been a couple of decades since I have had that close of a relationship so am not so sure how I would encompass such a closeness. So am taking my time in putting myself back out there.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Why do women associate money with romance? Posted: 7/6/2009 7:08:57 AM
I've never associated money with romance, where are you meeting these women?

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

One for the men out there who think women dont date nice guys Posted: 7/6/2009 7:06:10 AM
Nice guys are great. But the ones I think that have the worse times are the nice/shy guys. I dated a guy for a little while that was nice, would text me randomly through out the day just to see how I was doing etc.. Just a really nice considerate sweet guy. BUT, he was too shy! He couldn't make a move. I couldn't have made it any more easy for him that letting him give me a back rub practically bare back..lol Oh, he had no problem telling me what he wanted to do in text after the "dates" or wish he would have done. Needless to say, I lost interest and moved on.. So nice guys are great, but you gotta have confidence too.

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

What's your favorite movie? Posted: 7/5/2009 8:31:29 PM
One that always stands out is "The Mirror has Two Faces"

MsCharlotte2U

Joined: 2/25/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

What do women want from a man that they are interested in? Posted: 7/5/2009 7:39:10 PM
Well, I know for me a big thing is appreciation and respect. Communication too. You have to be able to talk to each other instead of having to guess where each others head is at in the "relationship". Everyone's time is valuable, so the time you make for one another should not be taken for granted or be abused.

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