Is it really healthy to have a six-pack/washboard abs? chat & forums.

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Thread: Is it really healthy to have a six-pack/washboard abs?

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 6 (view)

Is it really healthy to have a six-pack/washboard abs? Posted: 5/23/2013 5:06:12 AM
here are several studies that indicate being a little overweight is better for your health. It always creates quite a controversy when referencing those studies. Funny that so many object to the possibility, as 2/3 of America is either overweight or obese. Another funny thing, one problem with being obese is that it doesn't kill you soon enough. It gives you a lot of degenerative disses that are expensive to treat. So it causes more of a burden for the health care system. It does shorten your lifespan by about 10 years is the common wisdom, while smoking can shorten your life 18 years. Thus for the health care system, smoking is better than being obese. I don't think there are many studies about just being a little overweight, and you get mixed results, in some studies it appears it's better for your health. Then there are other studies that indicate having a calorie restriction with adequate nutrition can lengthen your lifespan. A BMI under 21 is often stated as a risk factor as you get older. I don't know, there is conflicting data on this. Not a problem for me, I doubt I would get down to below a 21 BMI or have a six pack visible.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 284 (view)

New to rough sex. Posted: 5/22/2013 9:19:32 PM
You’ll note there have been 279 comments and over 8,500 views. Some people are obviously interested. You know if one person looks twice, that is 2 views? I will contribute another comment to your collection. I was curious about what you meant by rough sex, so far it as I read, the sex was pretty tame and same same as always. But glad you are having a good time.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 14 (view)

what do you view as clingy? Posted: 5/22/2013 4:33:59 PM
Different people and different cultures have wildly different views on what is clingy. So you have to define it for yourself and your SO. It's odd, on one extreme some people don't want to ever sleep in the same bed, on the other extreme some people will only go bike riding if it they can use a tandem bike.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 10 (view)

Private images.... Posted: 5/22/2013 4:24:27 PM
static IPs are a thing of the past - anyone banning by IP is just banning the next random user to get allocated the same address Not quite right. Most broadband connections have a static IP address, most dial up do not as are assigned random. If someone knows what they are doing, you can spoof.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 9 (view)

Private images.... Posted: 5/22/2013 4:21:33 PM
This is like the market, a new surprise every day. You are probably right, but I can see two reasons for private images. 1) Most often they will probably be nudes. 2) Some people don't have any public images and only send private images, they claim they value their privacy, maybe some do work in senitive jobs and don't want anyone to know they are on POF. I don't care for is as I always feel they can easily dump one profile and create another. Wonder if this will create a big outcry.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 85 (view)

Letter from Markus Posted: 5/22/2013 10:19:21 AM
Well shit, it does. I checked (how often does one check their own age?). How unfortunate. I really need to stop having 5 windows open, with at least 6 tabs in each window. Multi-tasking fail. Thanks for pointing that out though. I'd fix it but it won't let me. Well, I have four very large montors running and about 37 windows open than I can Seldom we in the forums see anyone that makes a mistake that maks them older than they really are. Odd about that. But you delete your current profile and create a new one, pretty easy.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 84 (view)

Letter from Markus Posted: 5/22/2013 10:00:44 AM
One overlooks benefit to POF of limiting MSG via the +/1 14 years age. I have notice many times in the past several months, POF site has not been available or been very slow. Likely do to the huge number of MSG sent via the site. Markus has spoken about how limited POF servers have become. Limiting MSGs via this route seem noble, and also greatly reduces the burden on POF servers. Any other method of limiting MSGs would have seemed like a failure on POF part. I do wonder what drove the sudden change. The other idea I had was they are getting ready to sell the POF network to someone. Having a huge base of dating single people is a valuabe asset.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 12 (view)

is there a way to flag offensive forum posts/contributors Posted: 5/21/2013 10:42:01 PM
I have to agree. A person comes on here, maybe new and not part of the "clique", asks a legit question and gets flamed. Google "new fish in prison" and see what often happens. Fish : A new arrival, a first-timer, a bumpkin, not wise to prison life.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 66 (view)

Letter from Markus Posted: 5/21/2013 7:28:36 PM
If I were silly enough to believe that women on a dating site were actually there to date, rather than just to seek validation and attention, I would be unhappy with the 14 year age difference limit. IF I were to bother with the whole dating thing, I'd only be interested in women 18-28 (pre-Wall, basically). Granted, since I'm 34 this only cuts off a small portion of my acceptable age range, but it still cuts off a portion. What about when I turn 38? I'll have lost more than half. It's very disappointing to me that the younger generation can't lie convincing nor keep their lies consistent. That is what is wrong with this generation, no one excels at anything. Your profile says you are are 28, your rant says you are 34. Your actions betray your insecurities.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 36 (view)

Guy's Profile is Deleted, and then He Comes Back With a New Profile Name Posted: 5/21/2013 1:36:27 PM
Yes I've seen this first hand. Then they go to the next profile. It sucks because your not to sure which profile was the real person. One never knows for sure. None of the profiles might have been real. But the most real one would always be the worst one. The oldest age, married with older pics would be more real. Now some forum posters are disappearing, like watching the aliens leaving in a sequel to invasion of the body snatchers.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 239 (view)

Does it matter if he lies about his age Posted: 5/21/2013 11:08:24 AM
IF I had to design an age cut for dating long term relationships, I would have it change with age. That old ½ your age +7 really isn't a bad filter for the lower end, the upper end would be the reverse. Meaning a 32 year old could contact at most a 50 year old. Even though that forumula started it's life in a the comedy The Moon is Blue. I don't like blanket rote filters, since individuals are very diverse, age differently, etc. On the other hand, the vast majority of LTR such as marriages are between individual who are within 2 years of each others age, and +/- 14 years likely covers 95% of all LTR. So I understand the logic Bigfish had when selecting that age range. But my previous employment I did a lot of statistical analysis, I don't care to live my life by trying to be as average as possible. Lying is seldom a good idea, sometimes it becomes necessary, but easier and cleaner IMO to pick a different dating site if you want to date outside of POF range.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 34 (view)

Guy's Profile is Deleted, and then He Comes Back With a New Profile Name Posted: 5/21/2013 9:55:13 AM
Likely he had two profiles. No sure how it got deleted by mistake, but was the new profile recently created? If it had an older date, then he had two profiles.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 10 (view)

Age Restrictions Posted: 5/21/2013 9:44:44 AM
The admin doesn't need to employ a red herring to nuke profiles they find a hindrance to their site's productivity. The guy is using one profile he probably claims he is single to lure in women while he is really married. That is the so called red herring. I have no idea why he thinks one is real and his married profit is isn't the more real profile. But POF always maintained more than one profile will be deleted. So they are getting rid of all of them. BTW, I tried posting to a thread started by a male that was more than 14 years younger than me, it worked ok. Maybe there is a male female thing for posting? When they make major changes odd things will happen. Most amusing is those women that had an age of over 100. I tried to post to that thread and it looked like I could not post.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 52 (view)

Guys, do you find you attract younger women out than online? Posted: 5/21/2013 9:38:23 AM
No, I found younger women both online and IRL. And was curious about a report that forum users can't respond to a thread started by someone younger than 14 years to me.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 236 (view)

Does it matter if he lies about his age Posted: 5/21/2013 9:02:25 AM
Given the new age restrictions, IF I were dating and IF I wanted to date from POF, I would consider putting my age at 49. POF has a lot of users, but I have never used it to date, so I don't really know how it would work no matter what my age. I am more than average short for a man, so that has always been a much more important physical characteristic to many women online. I am more than normally adverse to lying, meaning I seldom lie even white lies. I would rather leave my age at 60 and let women decide for themselves if that is a problem. But not being able to even chat with anyone younger than 46 would annoy me. Another problem I can see, if I sent a text MSG explaining my deception, there is a good chance that would be reported under the new rules about MSG reporting, resulting in eventually getting deleted, so I would only explain that sort of thing in person. IMO that is going to be the obvious unintended consequences of POF recent changes. Not sure if POF had a better way to shield young women from online solicitations from older men, I have noticed many profiles in the 18-21 year range did not specify any age range, while many in the 30+ did specify an age range, I have no idea why that happens. I do endorse some method of preventing any woman from getting MSG from those outside of her desired age range. The method POV used is more like Eharm. I used Eharm, I rather like the site, but Eharm does it better than POF will be able to. I have no skin in the game, so I think my feelings about this are more objective.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 10 (view)

Most frustrating thing Posted: 5/20/2013 9:03:31 PM
I spend a significant amount of time writing my profile. Maybe I will walk away for a couple minutes. When I come back to finish it, I hit update and it asks me to sign in. You kids with computers and broadband Internet are so spoiled. My first computer used a paper tape drive. When I got a PC at work, I saved my work nearly every 10 min. Because the freaking computer would freeze and then I would lose all my work. I likely still have multiple copies of programs and work stuck in boxes. A lot of times the back button will work, but not always. Do all your text work in a word processor, then copy and paste it into the profile. Save your profile on the word processor if you want to update it.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 5 (view)

Message Moderatoring. Posted: 5/20/2013 8:19:11 PM
It seems like a reasonable list of reasons to get flagged. Though some women seem to bring up overt sexual remarks first. Of course, those that did that may have not been a woman since I never met them. Most women tend to be subtle about sexual remarks. Who are the users that decide if the rules were broken? Mods like POF has now? Does the system automatically flag MSGs, or are the MSGs reported by the user getting them? Does the previous interchange between users get examined? Perhaps someone invited the other to tell them what he (or she) wanted to do sexually? Can the user being censored respond to the Mod with a reasons why this MSG was sent? Like a defense. When this is implemented, will a system wide MSG be send by you (bigfish) to inform everyone that this is now part of POF? Just some thoughts about MSG reporting. EDIT: I see some of these questions were already answered.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 7 (view)

Letter from Markus Posted: 5/20/2013 2:21:05 PM
The only thing I don't agree with, is the seemingly arbitrary fourteen year age limit. I have never tried to chase people outside that range myself, but since I know successful couples who are outside those limits, I would have chosen a different number. A lot of people lie about their age, maybe I could pass for 49 but no way could I pass for 32. All standards are somewhat arbitrary. They may not see like if you have grown accustomed to them. If he is going to pick a number, 14 years is as good as any.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 22 (view)

Life is getting way to complicated Posted: 5/20/2013 10:24:45 AM
Recent policy in general age restrictions by POF seem driven by the inability to program age restrictions for smart phone apps. And of course too many of us dirty old men hitting up young females. This is exactly what I meant, computer technology is getting so complicated that it drives changes we would rather not see and don't expect. And it makes it harder for those not really computer savvy to really understand what is going on.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 87 (view)

Message Restrictions Posted: 5/20/2013 8:00:40 AM
It would be cruel for a sexy young hottie to MSG older men, knowing they can't respond. It might drive them over the edge. It does seem it applies only to men, very sexist even if more women date younger than men date younger. Oh well, it makes for interesting forum chat. I have no skin in the game.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 85 (view)

Message Restrictions Posted: 5/20/2013 7:48:46 AM
If you consider all the recent changes, chat disabled, forum link removed, age message restrictions, IE for paid membership.......what does it tell you? Maybe after getting such a huge membership base, he is grooming POF to be sold? He wants to cash out and be done with POF?

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 82 (view)

Message Restrictions Posted: 5/20/2013 7:36:14 AM
Luckyone1031, can you send him msgs but he can't respond? One thing very annoying about POF, one is often left to guess what the total scope of any changes are. Like woob, I don't have any skin in this at all. IMO they would let younger women decide to open contact with an older man and then he could respond. But the older man could not contact the younger women first. Or force age restriction choices that also work on phone apps. But likely these would only benefit a very few and cause a lot of additional software overhead. Keeping overhead costs down is critical on this type of semi-free site.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 68 (view)

Message Restrictions Posted: 5/20/2013 2:22:25 AM
+/- 14 years of age is now in effect for all ages. I double checked our hundreds of thousands of relationships we track. Turns out outside of +/- 12 years there is virtually no chance of a relationship, and what chance there is is heavilly dependent on the guys high income. Oddly there are more examples of old women dating young men. So is it in effect for women as well as men? Not easy to tell from your post. But even from the outside I have observed that common forum opinion is nearly always wrong. Meaning if a majority believe more old men date young women, the opposite is what is actually happening. It makes sense since there are far more women over 54 or so looking to date than there are men in that age group looking to date anyone. So in some respects, if older women want to date they don't have as much of a choice.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 36 (view)

Message Restrictions Posted: 5/19/2013 3:43:57 PM
Ezme75 ~~ I'd put a message on my profile telling her she can send either her phone or email, but you can't respond on POF. Good thinking.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 32 (view)

Message Restrictions Posted: 5/19/2013 3:23:21 PM
Nothing. I expect we will see this become an even larger problem. Men and women will lie about their ages more than ever before. It would be very clever is they only allowed one profile per IP address, and they had recorded all IP addresses before they made the change. Likely too clever to have been done.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 43 (view)

Having a relationship with zero sexual intimacy Posted: 5/19/2013 6:18:06 AM
The most important aspect of getting into a LT relationship is to really know yourself and what you want and need in a relationship. Do you know how important this is to you? One way to get to know yourself better is to date different types of women. You may find yourself surprised at what you value and don't value. I know myself pretty well, so I know my needs with sexual intimacy. It's hard for me to imagine that in your age range of 38 there aren't tons of women with very strong sex drives, as this age is close to the peak of their sexual interests. Women don't always know their own sex drives, if they had a bad marriage or previous relationships, they don't how good sex can be with the right man. It takes a few months of a good relationship before they can relax enough to lose to let themselves go and lose their inhibitions. It's kind of like cold engine that is now running hot. Considering all this, it has to be you that for some reason get more involved in women that say they aren't that interested in sex. Maybe they would be if you got more involved with them, maybe they wouldn't be so sexually inhibited. Maybe you just had a few bad meets that won't happen again. I would guarantee you for most women age 38 have a keen interest in sex.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 181 (view)

How Important is Sex in a Relationship???? Posted: 5/18/2013 9:22:34 AM
xcellent analogy! And in both cases the "boss" is thinking how little they can offer and still get the person on board. HA! If the boss gets a share of your money, then they will want you go have as much as the company can afford. Double HA!

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 45 (view)

If you could change history... Posted: 5/17/2013 11:58:54 PM
This is an easy question and I have an obvious answer for me. I would go back only 10 years and change the numbers I selected on the Mega Millions Lotto ticket I bought and collect 300 million dollars. But then I would never have the joy of being on a PoF forum.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 179 (view)

How Important is Sex in a Relationship???? Posted: 5/17/2013 8:08:26 PM
So you go on a job interview, and they ask you. So how important is it that you get paid? I hope you aren't just thinking about the money. Sex is about the same way level of importance when getting into a dating relationship.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 51 (view)

New Feature : Give date feedback on inbox Posted: 5/17/2013 6:20:05 PM
Depends on how it is implemented. I don't know the software resources they can throw behind this. Don't know what sort of database they are using for POF. What are the analysis tools? My job in a previous like was to access and analyze data. Sometimes it was data from people about various opinions. It wouldn't be tough to rate forum users because there are many opinions, it will balance out a few crazy people. Multiple profiles could more easily be reported. I could see other possibilities, but it isn't my job to really give it much deep thought. If people don't like it, there are plenty of other dating sites, I don't see why it should be such big deal. Life is change, that is always going to be true.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 31 (view)

Having a relationship with zero sexual intimacy Posted: 5/17/2013 2:53:53 PM
STDs won't be a problem.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 45 (view)

New Feature : Give date feedback on inbox Posted: 5/17/2013 2:53:05 PM
Bigfish On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you score your date's: You should word the question better. Is 1 the high end of the scale, or is 5 the high end of the scale. I am sure people will be confused about this.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 21 (view)

how common is it Posted: 5/17/2013 6:20:32 AM
. And what are prisoners famous for doing? I am pretty sure they don't watch much porn. No, it's isn't normal, common not even a little for guys to touch each other. I know some men that don't even like their heads touched, shaking hands is about as close to touching as they want to get, outside of being tackled in football.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 152 (view)

Learn to Take a Hint...I Don't Want to Be Cruel Posted: 5/17/2013 6:13:37 AM
Learn to be more direct and it will take less time. Be cruel, everyone else is.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 209 (view)

Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar? Posted: 5/17/2013 6:12:05 AM
When I determine someone is a little crazy, I don't stick around to find out what brand of crazy they are. So no idea.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 12 (view)

A man with ED? Questions please give info. Posted: 5/17/2013 6:08:36 AM
So the question is most men over 40 do they have ED? ---- I don't think most have ED, but most do have less interest in sex than they used to. Does the Viagra usually work with most people? ----- Usually for most people, that is why it sells so well. Does men go through a sexual fixation when they get ED where their mind is stuck on the issue? ----- Don't know, I would think many would. But if you have ED because of very low testosterone, then maybe they don't care about sex at all. Is it common for a man to complain that know one wants him because of the ED? ---- It's common for everyone to complain about everything. Mostly people like to blame everyone else for their own problems. I really don't know much about ED other than what I read.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 28 (view)

How fit are you really? Posted: 5/17/2013 5:46:43 AM
what are you running from? I tried hiding from reality, it seems to be able to find me. Maybe running away will work?

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 6 (view)

When Is It Time To Say Enough is Enough? Posted: 5/17/2013 5:44:05 AM
Op, I would give it 5-8 weeks, then change my approach. Use a much different dating site, different country, different type of profile, keeping changing until you find what works for you.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 5 (view)

What is your take on personal trainers? Posted: 5/17/2013 5:30:48 AM
I think if you respond well to coaching, they can be good for motivation. If you find one that is very good at motivating, even better. But just for information, you can find that everywhere on almost every subject.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 227 (view)

How a black male can approach white women... help Posted: 5/17/2013 12:06:53 AM
When I read this title, I keep thinking how does one go about snipe hunting?

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 20 (view)

give date feedback on inbox Posted: 5/16/2013 11:59:12 PM
On a scale of 1 to 5, how would you score your date's: You should note in the question if 1 is good or 5 is good, it's not obvious which is the better number. I could see people getting confused. On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being excellent, how would you score your date's: Something like that. Or with 5 being excellant, which ever way you want it to read.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 94 (view)

Anyone Recently Lost A Significant Amount of Weight? Posted: 5/16/2013 11:44:00 PM
It is all through the article as there are many references with regards to proper eating and lifestyle habits, though if it is too hard for you to understand maybe go talk to a medical professional with regards to how important your stool is. Reading this crap all day certainly turns me off from communcating, so crap can be a very effective tool.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 243 (view)

Do men really screw anything? Looking for honest answers. Posted: 5/16/2013 3:51:45 PM
Hmmm, I don't think all men will screw anything but I do think a large percentage of men will screw a woman that he wouldn't be seen in public with. It helps if you travel for business and are often in other states. :) Really, I think the men will screw anything is more about those men under 40, and only a few over 40.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 24 (view)

How fit are you really? Posted: 5/16/2013 3:10:02 PM
Peppermint, you are not so well informed about male sexual function as you are about food. The penis depends on a healthy heart to supply it with oxygen and other nutrients that keep it strong; not to mention the extra surge of blood that is needed to flood the erectile chambers and allow erections to form. On the other hand, reduced cardiovascular function can leave men feeling sluggish, disinterested, and lacking in the stamina needed to stay the course in a physical encounter. This is all true, and very common knowledge, at least I would hope it is. But it's also very limited viewpoint. Erections, staying power and libido are mostly connected with testosterone levels. Testosterone levels can be seriously impacted by poor health or medication, but you can't do much about the natural decline. A decline in testosterone levels is normal in male aging. Beginning in a man's 40s, his testosterone levels start to fall about 1% a year. This is a normal decline that occurs as men age. Doctors will tell you that you are fine,as in average and to be expected. So as men age it's normal to have a lower sex drive and fewer spontaneous erections. While little or no libido can be a sign of poor health resulting in low testosterone or the heath type problems you describe. I believe a lot of older men say they get more selective, more choosey, quality over quantity, blah, blah blah, but IMO lower testosterone is what causes many to suddenly feel more selective, it's not a true sign of being more mature. This decline in testosterone is normal for men who exercise regularly, eat right, maintain a healthy body weight and cut out unhealthy lifestyle habits. It gets much worse if you don't do all that. For a healthy male> Mean Total Testosterone for a male 20-29 years of age is 692-669 (ng/dl) with a low of 388 and a high of 1005 (ng/dl). It starts to go down from there. By age 55-59 Mean Total Testosterone is 552 ng/dl, with a range of 319-866. These are what most doctors will tell you is normal and to be expected. When a man's testosterone declines, he feels more sluggish, less interested in sex, not able to exercise as long, has more trouble sleeping, has a poor mood. All this often results in less exercise and more weight gains, further exacerbating the problem leading to a downward spiral. A man can fight it by trying to keep up the exercise and by eating right, but he is fighting his own naturally declining hormone levels. I opt for Optimal, Not Average libido. The only way to maintain a libido of a 30 year old is with testosterone treatment. This is what I do, and it makes a world of difference. Of course you also need to eat right, exercise often, etc, etc. There isn't a free ride. Of course one need not run to be fit, it's just what I want to do lately to stay in shape. If erections and staying power are a sign of being physically fit, I should be able to run a half-marathon at least, but my legs don't agree. I can easily bike 50 miles, but I haven't been doing much running. I have no physical problems that would prevent me from running, so I have been trying to convince my legs they are wrong about this.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 303 (view)

About leagues. . . Posted: 5/16/2013 1:40:22 PM
It appears from this thread most people on PoF consider appearance to be the most significant thing about leagues. I don't think the same way, not a surprise to me after reading the forums. I consider social status to be what leagues are about. Most women I dated were medium to attractive, all were thin to high normal weight on a BMI chart, mostly I would say cute or striking, none were what I could consider turn your head and drop your mouth sexy. By PoF standards many were out of my league. Very sexy to me is someone with a barbie doll figure, flawless skin, good bone structure, thin waist with a larger bosom, not huge just large for her small waist. I saw one profile like that on PoF, but I think it was fake. Very few women are super sexy to my PoV. DragonBits: I suppose if my SO was 35 years younger and super sexy, it would make me feel a little insecure about the future. Not quite like being out of my league, but not comfortable. Confident-Realist: You'd be LUCKY to have her (assuming she wasn't deranged beyond her looks & status). When you're truly LUCKY to have her -- because she's super-hot, super-young -- yes, that's what "out of your league" means. :) I suppose I would be lucky, with someone 35 years younger, if she was also super sexy likely only possible in a foreign country, and not very common even then. My concern wouldn't be dating her, it would be if we were married, how is that going to work when I am 75 and she is 40? Not really fair to either of us. But I still don't consider her out of my league, as I explained, leagues to me are about social status. It's not like there is a hard and fast rule about language of what leagues mean. That is how I define it. Like my example of a women being married to a rock-star, I wouldn't feel secure being married to someone super sexy and more than 35 years younger. Just too many temptations for her. I don't think 20 years would bother me that much no matter even if she were above average sexy. I don't think of a hedonistic as someone that would cheat on his wife. A hedonistic is someone that seeks to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. Cheating can often brings about a lot of pain and the pleasure is limited, since your time with the other person is pretty limited. Fleuron: Yep. I wouldn’t marry a man I didn’t trust. I’d be right there with him. Is there some reason I wouldn’t be? So you only trust him if you can keep your eye on him? (the rock-star). Most people can't be together 100%, most people on PoF don't even seem to like that and say it's clingy. In my POV not cheating is a little like dieting. It's easier to diet if you don't surround yourself with delicious foods sitting within easy reach. It's much more difficult to resist a snack when it is easily available. Or as in my example, the American rock-star. For most people this is a theoretical discussion, men or women that cheat have to go out of their way to cheat, others don't throw themselves at us if we are married. I never cheated on my ex-wife, she never cheated on me, I can't imagine it would ever happen for either of us with my current wife.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 8 (view)

What are some of the things that women do that drive men crazy? Posted: 5/15/2013 4:10:46 PM
I hear what you are saying Walts. I would describe what she can do to drive me crazy, but wrong forum for that.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 15 (view)

Things men and women don’t know about each other? Posted: 5/15/2013 3:52:13 PM
I want the list of things a woman doesn't want me to know about her. We prefer "comfort" bras: Most women have four, maybe five bras, in their weekly rotation. And chances are that none of them is particularly sexy. In fact, they are most often decidedly unsexy, providing what bras are supposed to provide: support. The frilly, lacy undergarments that you're certain women wear all the time? We don't. It's off so fast what do I care about what it looked like? I barely glance at it.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 19 (view)

How fit are you really? Posted: 5/15/2013 5:37:25 AM
24 hrs? If it takes that long for a repeat performance, I don't think the word "fit" comes into the story. The question was how many repeats count as fit, not if. It's easier for me to keep track of. So if a women is keeping track of time, I guess that means time is money? Is he ever going to finish comes to mind. If this is all it takes, I have been wasting a lot of time in the gym. :(

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 17 (view)

How fit are you really? Posted: 5/15/2013 2:58:12 AM
Best fitness test for a male (esp the heart) Can he hold an erection an hour with out drugs?? Longer? He is fit enough.. Very funny, but only people on pof have a stop watch beside their bed. Who times these things? What about repeat performances in a 24 hour period, how does that count? Stimulation no stimulation ? Love or just sex? Aircon or no aircon? Makes a difference.

dragonbits

Joined: 1/6/2012

Msg: 298 (view)

About leagues. . . Posted: 5/15/2013 12:21:44 AM
Happiness in a relationship is not just about cheating. Cheating or not is more the lowest bar when talking about happiness. A lot of guys don't cheat because it's wrong to lie to your closest relationship, some don't because of religion, some don't because they aren't all that interested in sex, some don't because of lack of opportunity. Same for women, though women can almost always find sex with a strange man if they really want to, so that is different. More significant to happiness is how you feel in the relationship. Most often of the two people in a relationship, one is going to be making more of an effort to please the other person. The one making the bigger effort usually feels more lucky to have found their very desirable mate. If a man feels that he is lucky to have found you, and lucky that you love him, he will naturally try harder to please you Vs a man that feels like he could have had many other equally attractive women. Women know they can always find sex if they aren't choosey about it, so they tend to value sex less than man. Women tend to value emotional / financial / physical support more than men do. Likely this is natural, since while pregnant and after a child is born women will need this sort of support, it's a matter of survival in a much earlier age. Most men believe they can take care of themselves in most situations, a lot of men are somewhat emotionally clueless. Not all, but percentage wise more so than women. IMO this sort of thing is the basis for observations that relationships are most happy when the women is somewhat more attractive and desirable than the man. From my own POV, I don't look at leagues as being about physical attractiveness. I look at leagues as a social construct, what part of society does one interact with? If interacts often with CEO’s of companies and high government officials, that is clearly a different league from someone that interacts most often with factory workers and NASCAR events. Physical attractiveness does it's job and attracts my interest, but it doesn't really intimidate me or make me feel out of my league. But even there, I suppose if my SO was 35 years younger and super sexy, it would make me feel a little insecure about the future. Not quite like being out of my league, but not comfortable.

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