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Thread: Has anyone ever been dumped via email?

Joined: 3/2/2007

Msg: 203 (view)

Has anyone ever been dumped via email? Posted: 3/13/2007 10:11:54 AM
well, I haven't been dumped by email, but I Was told over the phone that my husband wanted a divorce! He went to Alberta to get a job and the plan was supposed to be that he get situated in the job, find a place for us and the kids to live, then he would send for us. Instead, I got a call a month after he had been out there, and he didn't even really tell me, I had to say it for him! He got all quiet and I asked him what was wrong, he said he needed a smoke (he had quit smoking 5 years ago) so I said oh, you're smoking again, thinking that was what he was so afraid to tell me. So he was still all quiet, and I asked him why he was smoking again, and he said stress. SO of course, I say what stress? And he goes all quiet again, after 3 times of telling him to just spit it out and he doesn't say anything, I say what, are you leaving me? And he says yes. Now that is cowardly and disrespectful, after 4 years of marriage and two small children.

Joined: 3/2/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Single Dads: What do you want from the new woman? Posted: 3/10/2007 5:35:58 PM
I haven't posted very much, mainly because I'm still new here. But I have to agree with the PP who was female, as I would also feel the same as she would in that situation. When I decide to date someone, I'm looking for someone who shares the same ideals, values, parenting styles, etc as well as a life partner. Partners in a relationship do things 50/50, help each other, are there for each other. If you start a relationship cutting that person out of a very important part of your life right at the start (ie your children), it's going to make her feel like you don't trust her or care about her enough to let her help. For me, by the time I introduce a new man into my kids lives, I will have a serious relationship with him already that will have been established for a long time. If I feel comfortable introducing him to my kids, and things went well, I would hope that he would love and care for my kids enough to want to help in their upbringing. That's what partners are for.

Joined: 3/2/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

having a little trouble Posted: 3/6/2007 6:58:16 AM
thanks for all the advice girls skinnbones: My job wouldn't be giving me less hours or less pay, just crappy hours of working where I won't be able to get a daycare. While I've been on leave, they switchwed the senority from how long you've worked there to mostly how you do with your stats on the phone (it's a call center). Since I haven't been there in over a year (I had sick leave due to complications with the pregnancy) I have no stats for the last year on the phone, therefore with the new senority, I will get the hours no one else wants, night shifts. Also, We haven't been separated that long, that is why I've only been checking into this stuff now as all of this has only been recent. When he moved out to Alberta, the plan was that he was going to get situated out there with a job, find a place for us and then he would send for me and the kids. He just decided to call and wanta divorde a few weeks ago instead. So now I'm scrambling to keep me and the kids above water. He says he's going to continue to send money for me and the kids, I hope he does. I'm just trying to protect us in case he changes his mind before there's something legal in place.

Joined: 3/2/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

having a little trouble Posted: 3/6/2007 6:07:47 AM
I have already been in contact with a legal aid lawyer, so it's free for me. How long does it take to get wages garnished though? right now, if he stops sending money I'll be screwed for the bills big time. Is there any other avenues that you guys know of that I haven't thought of or don't know about? Any ideas would be apreciated. I'm looking at the moment to take a couple kids in for childcare, so I can put that extra money aside if he still pays and it would give me and the kids something to fall back on if he doesn't.

Joined: 3/2/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

having a little trouble Posted: 3/6/2007 6:05:11 AM
problem is, it's shift work, it was never set hours. I went in hoping they would make an exception. They're a big company and told me they have too many people working there to be able to do that. Also, they changed the way senority works since I left and now I would be at the bottom of the barrel again, which means I would get crap shifts like 5pm to 2am, when I can't get daycare or even a sitter.

Joined: 3/2/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

having a little trouble Posted: 3/6/2007 5:17:21 AM
just wondering if any of you who have been through this before can maybe give me some ideas as to what else to do or where else to look. My husband has decided he wants to split, he has moved out to Alberta. We're still on speaking terms, he calls to talk to the kids and such. He says he's going to continue sending money and such, if he does fine, but I can't count on that. I know once he starts getting himself situated, the money will get less and less, he's very materialistic. I have two children, ages 3 1/2 and 8 months. I'm still on maturnity leave until June, so for the moment, I still have some money coming in on my end. Herein lies the problem. As soon as he called me and said he wanted to get a divorce, I went in and talked to my job. I can't go back there as they refuse to guarentee me the hours I would need during the day to get subsidized daycare and there's no way I can afford 40 bucks a day for two kids in daycare. I doubt I'll be able to get as good a job as what I had for the pay anyways, it's slim pickings down here. But just in case, I went and checked at the subsidized daycares for info. The only one that takes babies under 18 months has a waiting list so long, my son will be in school before I get in. And I still won't be able to afford to put my daughter in the sub daycare and pay someone to privatly care for my son. I went to do the whole thing with the court and get things started for custody and child support. Yet more slammed doors and hoops to jump through. I will have no problem getting joint custody with me as custodial parent and he won't be able to take them out of province, that's fine. THE child support is a whole other issue. If he decides not to cooperate, I'm pretty much screwed for a long time. He doesn't have to come down here for the court date since he's so far away (I'm in Nova scotia) and I have to produce his last 3 years of tax assessments, which I don't have his 2006 since he hasn't filed yet and for some reason, 2004 isn't in the filing cabinet where it should be, I think he might have it. So I can't get that info unless he calls revenue canada and gets it, then sends it to me. I'd also need a copy of one of his paystubs since he's making more than double the money out there than he was here. So basically I have to count on him and I hate it since I don't trust him anymore. Then of course I can't file for the change to the child tax until 90 days of separation. And I called social assistance to get info about what I would be looking at if I needed them. I'd get my mortgage covered up to like 600 something dollars and a 200 allowance a month. How the hell do you feed and clothe two kinds on that?!?!?! What do I do if he decides he's not going to send me money like he says he is now?? Is social assistance, mother's allowance and welfare all the same? I've heard different people talking about these things and I have no idea. I've never had to do this before, never had a friend in this situation, so I don't know where else to look into. Can anyone give me some advice or know something else I can look into? Not looking for pity, just info and advice that I may not have known about. I just want me and the kids to be okay if he stops paying.

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